How did a crave feel then and how about now?

[LLCope]

Day 115

Still going well-- no funk. I keep swatting away craves like flies at a picnic.

I wanted to share part of my journey today and it may or may not be helpful to folks--here it goes.

Around day 30 of my quit (before I found KTC), I was having a lot of depression and anxiety. This really worried me because prior to the quit I was a very happy, confident and optimistic person. I knew depression and anxiety were listed as symptoms, but it seemed really bad. Then I started wondering if dipping was just covering up issues that I did not know about.

Anyway, I decided to go to the doctor (GP) to see what he recommended. He said I could try Wellbutrin (depression) to help me get through. He said that the depression and anxiety was most likley from quitting and should be temporary, but Wellbutrin might help a little bit. I could tell that he really thought it was not needed, but he prescribed it anyway.

I started taking it and soon learned that it takes about 6 -weeks to kick in. However, during the next few weeks I saw improvement in my depression and anxiety--vast improvements. Was it the Wellbutrin or was it naturally improving because it was temporary to begin with? Well there was only one way to find out---I called my doctor and told him I would stop taking it and he agreed (he did not like the idea in the first place).

Well I stopped taking it around day 60 or so and here I am at day 115 and I have virtually no depression and no anxiety--almost back to my old happy, confident and optimistic self! I tell this story so to encourage others who are stuggling with depression/anxiety---in most cases it will get better--it is only temporary. I do understand that some have to deal with long term depression/anxiety and it is not just temporary. Also, work with your doctor on all these issues--they have seen it all before and usually have good advice. For me, I am glad I stopped taking wellbutrin when I did. If I would have continued, I would have credited that for my improvements.

I hope this helps someone.

[Scowick65]

Day 112


Newbies

Listen Up

I have felt almost 100% normal (pre-quit me) over the past few days. I know I have funks in front of me, but damn, I am getting my swagger back.

My job when I am feeling really good is to remember the law---NOT ONE!

For those of you thinking about quitting, NOW is the time--IT can be done ---believe me!

Man up before it's too late! Tomorrow is not guaranteed!

Freedom is the shit. Pat yourself on the back friend. Good job.

[LLCope]

Day 112


Newbies

Listen Up

I have felt almost 100% normal (pre-quit me) over the past few days. I know I have funks in front of me, but damn, I am getting my swagger back.

My job when I am feeling really good is to remember the law---NOT ONE!

For those of you thinking about quitting, NOW is the time--IT can be done ---believe me!

Man up before it's too late! Tomorrow is not guaranteed!

[LLCope]

DAY 110

The story of the two wolves is listed somewhere in the words of wisdom section. On day 110 I wanted to share this as part of my journey. When craves come I am calling them lies and I focus on the good in my life. The craves are getting weaker every day and my goodness and freedom grows stronger every day I Quit.


The Two Wolves

A Grandfather from the Cherokee Nation was talking with his grandson.
"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight between two wolves."
The young grandson listened intently.
"One wolf is evil, unhappy, and ugly: He is anger, envy, war, greed, selfishness, sorrow, regret, guilt, resentment, inferiority/superiority, false pride, coarseness, and arrogance. He spreads lies, deceit, fear, hatred, blame, scarcity, poverty, and divisiveness."
"The other wolf is beautiful and good: He is friendly, joyful, loving, worthy, serene, humble, kind, benevolent, just, fair, empathetic, generous, honest, compassionate, grateful, brave, and inspiring resting wholeheartedly in deep vision beyond ordinary wisdom."
The grandson paused in deep reflection of what his grandfather had just said. Then he exclaimed; "Oyee! (in recognition).
Grandfather continued; "This same fight is going on inside you, and inside all human beings as well."
The grandson paused in deep reflection and recognition of what his grandfather had just said. Then he finally cried out deeply; "Oyee! Grandfather, which wolf will win this horrific war?"
The elder Cherokee replied, "The wolf that you feed. That wolf will surely win!"

[gladitsnotheroine]

#2 I realized that I must make a choice to quit every day. In the first 41 days, I was fighting with the concept of "forever". The concept of forever really does not matter now--the only way I can live life is one day at a time---and that's the only way I can quit too.

"Forever" Man, I needed to read this one this morning. This is what is constantly going through my mind.

[dante]

Congratulations...I'm proud of you LL. Glad you joined us, I'm looking forward to your HoF Speech!

I can relate to your frustration...I've been channeling the anger towards big tobacco by trying to steal their customers away and convert them to KTC users instead.

Stay Strong...as always, I'm quit with you!

[LLCope]

DAY 101

Not ready yet to do a HOF speech. I want to get further away from the first 100 days before writing a speech--not sure why...

I am still coming to terms with my addiction. I am still having a hard time with the concept of never being able to move on from this addiction. No pot at the end of the rainbow--no destination---NO FUCKING END! When I started using Nicotine back in college (at age 20!), I was not informed of this bullshit! I was fooled by big tobacco! And because of the dumb choice of a green college student, I must battle with this shit forever? Every day?

It's hard climbing a mountain with no summit---no peak!

Anyway, I Quit Today. My quit is strong--I just wanted to vent! FUCK!!!!!

Ok, I feel better NOW--Bring on the BITCH
Peace Out
LL

[per034]

Day 95.

In the beginning, there was light. Ah shit. Wrong story.

In the beginning, the craves were aggressive. And they lasted a LOT longer. I was convinced that I couldn't possibly keep my quit going. I thought the cravings would take me down. I always had to find something else to do - walk around, get near people, find a hot chick to stand near so I wouldn't want to disgust her.

Now the cravings don't last very long at all. And they rarely come out of nowhere. They always come as a result of a trigger. Long road trip. Hour long teleconference. Watching the Mets game... but they really do come a go quickly.

When're they're not from a trigger... when they come out of nowhere, well... There have been a couple of really significant FUCK YOU craves... and those, later in my quit, have been stronger than the ones early in my quit.

Those are the ones you gotta look out for. I fear I'll be having those for the rest of my life.

[Pouchgoaway]

The first week or so I had trouble focusing because I never did anything without the friggin chew in my cheek, the cravings hit and things would get "fuzzy" and I could feel the urge coming up my throat and in my mouth which would start to water and I would actually reach for the top drawer of my tool box where I kept that shit I found it hard to focus on what people were telling me and would occasionally get bad headaches (I also quit caffeine around the same time)

Now at 110 days I still get a strong crave maybe once or twice a day but it's more like a thought than anything physical and they are much easier to push away and ignore them.

I recently moved out into the country and still see faded Mail Pouch ads painted on old barns and I just shake my head and think about all the money a wasted on that shit.

On a funny side note I still play Red Dead Redemption and I won't even use the chewing tobacco in the game 'no'

[elkhills]

In the begginning days (and weeks) the craves were debilitating. Crippling. Seemed like it wormed its way in to nearly every thought and action. I felt hollow, unsatisfied, frustrated, fidgetty and constantly irrritated/angry without my chew.

I read a lot, knowledge is power. One of the best bits of advice I got early on was to "Embrace the Suck". Feel every miserable moment and dont ever forget how it feels, so you wont ever want to go through it again.

At over 100 days now I can honestly say I have ZERO desire for nicotine. I don't even think about it anymore. What I am still struggling with is the PHYSICAL addiction, and so Im still using fake chew pretty much non stop, same way I chewed Skoal the last 20 years.

I had no idea how deep the claws of this physical/oral fixation part of my addiction were sunk in. Look out for that, and be ready.

[magnum9]

Maac and I talked about this on the phone the other day.

Early in my quit, the physical cravings were incredible, but they were no where near the worst part. With physical cravings and the major fog I felt like it was easy to stop what I was doing, take a minute and just calm down.

Then there were the ritualistic cravings where you had to have one because it was after eating, time to play a video game, doing school work, working on the car, etc...

Those cravings were so difficult because they just pop up and make you reconsider the decision to even do any of the above activities. At times I would not even have a snack because I didn't want to deal with the after food dip ritual. I didn't even study some times because I knew I would crave.


About day 30ish, when I knew my mind was clear and the fog was pretty much clear, I began to look for every one of those situations and started to tackle them one by one. I knew I would crave when working on my car, so I would look for any reason to work on my car. I wanted to battle with the nic bitch because I was the one in control, I was challenging her to a fight under my conditions. That was one of the biggest helpers for me.

At 163 my cravings are like a fly landing on my arm, I just shoo them away with hardly any effort needed. I still keep my guard up though and remember with every detail the earliest days.

[teamgreen]

Teamgreen - 499

I have experienced every kind of crave you guys are talking about more or less. It's different for everyone, but we all have craves. Early on they were crippling, but I knew they had to be, so I embraced the suck. Later on (say, 50 days), they were still intense, but not quite as long or quite as often. 50-100 days, they were kind of depressing (i.e. "why do I still crave/feel shitty/funked out?"). 100+ They came and went more randomly (minor, easily dismissed ones when triggered by something; occasional cripplers when I was stressed out or down about something). Lately, almost nothing. I might wave away the tiniest glimmer if I smell it or something, but I don't know if I would even call them craves, just familiar recognition that I used to do it. I've been in funks and stressed out and all kinds of nonsense, but honestly, I don't really associate any of my emotions/stress/joy/fun/etc. with nicotine anymore. It's largely something really stupid I used to do.

Bottom line, if you keep quitting every day, it will eventually get better. I still sign roll every single day, because I know, even though I haven't had one for a long time, I could be hit with a crippling crave at any minute. I want my promise on the table when it comes.

[nomosko]

Day 173--This hard to explain but I'll try. Quitting is still difficult for me. I wish it wasn't but the fact remains that there has not been one day that at some point I haven't thought about dipping. I dipped for 30 years so I understand that the temptation to chew is not going to go away in 6 months. It pisses me off that I know how important it is to be quit, yet the temptation is still so strong. I have to remind myself that if I am going into a convenience store I am not buying chew. If I see someone else chewing I know I should feel bad for them but honestly I kind of feel sorry for myself. Now I know I have made the right decision to quit and I am glad that I am quit. I post every day so I will stay quit. God knows it is 100 times easier at day 173 than it was at day 10 but I am still tempted and remind myself every night that I was stronger than the nic bitch one more day. I can't really write about craves because it still seems like my addiction is always working on me.

My quit is strong thanks to my May 2011 brothers. It helps sometimes to put your thoughts out there.

[husker06484]

Day 134

My craves are intense. I feel it in my gums and bottom teeth like something is missing. A n intense tingling sensation that last anywhere from a minuter to a half a day. Day 80 - 85. Half day craves that drove me nuts. My craves make no sense. I was golfing yesterday with 3 dippers didn't have a crave. Had one about an hour ago for about 10 mins. They are definetly less than in the beginning. I will go a week or so without one now. I always have to have my guard up.

[Bulldawg]

Day 68. Now the crave is very subtle. I think I am past the real temptation and it will hit when I am low. Yesterday I was at the golf course and the guy I was supposed to play with called in late. Immediate thought, "Forget it, I need a dip." Passed. Most helpful fact for me is my realization I am an addict. I can't control it, so zero tolerance is my motto. My wife asked me the other day, if I had quit for good or for a while. Good reminder to stay off it.