Ann,
lets stick with the fat kid analogy here for a second. Say your on a diet , the doc says your a big wallowing fatty mc fatty pants and if you eat any more brownies your going to die a long slow death. So you switch to lollypops, man those lollypops are good but your not losing any weight, you go off lollypops and feel kind of shitty even though your body is starting to heal. But you decide your not liking this little bit of pain , so maybe a slice of pie a few times a day might take the edge off. Meanwhile you can't seem to figure out why your pants don't fit and your ass looks like to Christmas hams fighting under a blanket. "But gee whiz doc I haven't eaten a brownie in ages, I've been really good"
Starting to get the picture? Your not hooked on cigarettes, your hooked on nicotine. You wanna absorb it thru the patch, your lungs, your lip, a cigar, or just rub it on your head its all the same. The gum, the patch , chew , smokes are all just different methods to deliver your drug of choice.
Of course the patch helped, you were still using!! The patch is a whole bunch of BS so are all the other nicotine replacement therapys. There is some evidence that quitting can be more intense for women, Something about female hormones changing the way your body reacts to nicotine, creating a more intense withdrawl. My guess is this is why you had a different experience than your husband. Who by the way, if he is using nicotine in any form, snus, bandits, pouches etc, hasn't quit anything.
Here's what you need to do, go to additional resources on this site, and READ READ READ, go to cancer and quitter stories and READ READ READ. About this time your going to say " oh well these guys are dippers and that doesn't apply to me" This is where your wrong Grasshopper, check out whyquit.org. The use rationalizations are all the same, you could substitute dip or pouch for the word smoke and the stories read the same. NICOTINE IS THE OPPONENT. Now that you know your enemy, you need a plan. As in why are you quitting? For you? forr hubby? cuz somebody said you should? If you are not quitting first and foremost for yourself you have already failed. YOu have to want to be quit for you, YOu have to quit for yourself.
Screw shame, screw embarrasment, your an addict, there is no difference between you and I and a heroin junkie except our choice of drugs. You screwed up, you bought into the lie of using nicotine to quit nicotine, and now your back to the starting gate. You can't beat a brownie addiction by eating pie Right?
Difference is this, we've all stood in your shoes, all of us. We've all lied about our usage, some have damn near gotten divorced over the lies. It gets way worse than where you are now believe me. If you choose to quit, get with the program here, this place will get you quit. It is not going to be easy and you probably won't like it, but it works. There is no magic pill. Education and support are a damn close second. I warn you that at times ( more often than not) this place is crass, shovenistic, questionably homosexual, obnoxious, and flat out rude. Its an acid trip downhill on roller skates at the zoo. My advice is this TAKE WHAT YOU NEED AND LEAVE THE REST
Right now you need to get rid of that can of cancer thats holding you hostage, flush the pouches so you don't go digging em out of the trash. Grab the brass balls that got you this far already and start posting roll. Today is the first day of your quit, Today you can promise a bunch of nicotine soaked knuckle heads just like you ( only uglier I'm sure) that you will stay quit. Surely you can stay quit for one day right? Go to October and post a day one along with your screen name,I think Ann might be a bit whimpy so I think you should be Ann of Arc or ConAnn the destroyer or something equally as cool.
So whattya say there ? a day one? no nic? If I can do it after 2 cans per day for 23 years I know you can do it. Do I here a 'Finger' US Tobacco, or will you just fade away like so many others with good intentions and no courage? The gauntlet has been thrown ,are you a quitter or what?
Skoal Monster