I Mhave been chewing for the past 14-15 years, and decided that yesterday was it. After my 4 year old walked up with my can of griz and told me "here dad you need this", I decided that I can't let something else run my life. That I need control.
So far I am doing alright until I woke up 2 hours early craving a pinch. I feel like I am going to chew threw my arm. I never new how much of a hold it had on me. This Shit sucks ass.
Here's to day 2 taking it one hour at a time.
Congrats...Day 2 is huge. You're lucky...your 4 yr old for gave you the wake-up call. My "ah-ha" moment was similar. I was watching one of those "Remembering 9-11" shows. They interviewed a 10 yr old little boy...he had been 2 -3 yrs old when the towers came down killing his father. He described how life had been tough without his dad, how the other dads tried their best to fill in, etc. He said he only had a few vague memories of his dad and some pics. I was watching this with my 3 yr old boy in my lap and a fucking dip in my lip?!!!
That dad lost his life through no fault of his own, and here I was with a fucking dip in my lip?!!! That was it. I got angry at nicotine, at addiction, at myself. I realized that my addiction was going to torture my little boy and family if I didn't do something about it.
So, I spit that shit out right then and there. I didn't know how I was going to do it, but I was good and goddam determined to get rid of nicotine. I welcomed the fog. I wanted to feel the suck. I wanted to go toe to toe with the Nic Bitch to really experience how hard quitting was...and compare it to that little boy's pain.
I developed a healthy hatred towards tobacco and a singularity of purpose on controlling my addiction. There were hard days. Of course, not as hard as disfiguring surgery and feeding tubes. Not as hard as losing to cancer. Not as hard as saying goodbye to loved ones. And certainly not as hard as that little boy wishing he could play catch with his own dad...just one goddam time. But yes, quitting was hard...especially early on. The headaches, anxiety, constipation and sleeplessness...those were hard. But those passed...and they will for you too.
You're lucky because you GET to go through the fog. You GET to feel the suck. You GET to thank your little man for the wake-up call at some point in the future. I'm lucky because my little hero had the guts to be interviewed on TV. Almost every time I post I think of that little boy and thank God for giving him the courage to do that interview. That, and the folks here at KTC, have made all the difference in my life. All you have to do is post roll, read all you can, and repeat.
YOU GOT THIS, BROTHER!!!
