Day 10 - Sure for the first 6 days i had my times where i chewed a lot of candy, or sunflower seeds, and yes drove past a tobacco store twice deciding whether to go in or not. Every-time, I realized I was being weak, and I needed to man the fuck up, and get over this god damn addiction.
The last 4 days have been GLORIOUS, and AMAZING. I have never been happier in my life. I am noticing minuscule things that make me smile, and happy. I em enjoying conversations with people.
I have started to forget about chewing. I find myself feeling bored for the first time in 20 years. I honestly never felt boredom, as i would put a dip in and relax. Now I realize what being bored is all about. I do not like being bored, so from the time I get up to the time I need to get to bed, I am moving. Not because I have to, but because i want to.
I have also noticed and have been told by several people that I seem different. I have always kept to myself for the most part. You would have to hit me with a 2x4 to get me to say ouch, if i was around people I didn't like. Now, I don't shut up. I talk all the time. I am finding myself talking to myself even.
The fog, is non existent. Thankfully I didn't get that. My mind however is clearer than it has been in years. I am so focused all the time. When i say all the time, I mean all the time. It is like I am firing on all cylinders every minute of the day. Managing multiple projects at work has always been my job, but I am getting things done faster than I had in the past. I find myself going into the warehouse working just to cure the boredom.
My sleep is fabulous. I fall asleep within minutes of laying down. My anxiety is so minor at this point.
Don't get me wrong, My fuse is short, but it is easily restored. I came across an unopened can of Skoal Wintergreen Longcut yesterday. It didn't even bother me, I simply opened the can and flushed in down the toilet. Didn't even think twice about it. There is no way in hell that i will ever succumb to an addiction again.
