17 days today. Now to start my story. I was quit for 24 years before that terrible 1st day that we all wish we could go back to. I'm 25 now and feeling terrible with myself over the year or so of abuse I put myself through. I feel the anger, the anxiety, the depression, the rage, the disappointment, the sadness, the sorrow, the grief. All of the feelings I never felt before all because of a little can. I feel embarrassed to let anyone know I was ever a slave to this stuff. Not sure why I ever started in the first place. But as I sit here typing this with a literal lump in my throat a feel a bit of happiness and hope because I know I will never go back ever. Aside from my hatred for this stuff the real reason why I stopped was my fear of cancer and the things that can be caused from this stuff. In my lifetime I've only been to the dr once and will be making my 2nd trip there this Wednesday to see an ENT dr to look at some white patches in my throat. Say a prayer for me that it is nothing. I'm trying to keep my head high that it's nothing but my mind is getting the best of me. I will be so relieved to find out what is going on and either way I look forward to adding days to my count. I will not die. I will survive.
