What happened?
Why did it happen?
What are you doing differently this time?
well...I guess staying close to the site is not on the to-do list.
Seriously?
I will log into the site several times a day when I can. I've tried the chat, and when i'm available (early morning) there are very few people there......that's fine....I do post, and promise that I won't chew today on roll call. But you're right, staying closer to this site is not on the to do list.
Let's see....What happened? I fucked up....I blew it.....I....me
Why did it happen? Does it really matter? Not really important. Nothing....everything.
What am I doing differently this time? No excuses.....I'm good at excuses.
I wish I had someone around here closer that was quittting too. I think that would be great for me........
Hey -
an early morning chat room, hell in eastern time zone here and been living in that chat for my 136 days quit. Guess I luck out working from home and use it as my water cooler.
Just remember that by answering those 3 questions honestly to yourself is a learning experience and the more clear you make those answers the better equiped you will be as you move forward in your quit.
Hope to see you in chat and/or pm me if you need anything
Good. I'm glad you saw my dig. I have some advice for you.
1. The answers to those three questions matter. you should give them some thought, so you can avoid the same mistakes. Post up the answers so that others can learn from your mistakes. One of the most important things that we do is to face our addict brain head on.
2. Quitters are as close as a text, email or phone call away. If you want to seek out a quit homeboy, go here and post up where you be and see if there are any quitters in your area that want to meet.
3. Quit or Cave. both come down to decision. You will be faced with all of life's stresses throughout your quit. Separate your decision to quit from them and you will be successful. In any given circumstance, quitters find a way to quit, cavers find a way to cave. You have to decide whether you are the former or the latter.
Do you want to be quit?
Are you willing to do anything to be quit?
Are you willing to do anything to stay quit?
Look, man. We don't ask and answer these questions for the hell of it. We do it because it teaches us a valuable lesson:
A dumbass never learns from his mistakes. A fool will learn from his own mistakes, but a wise man will learn from others' mistakes.
Currently, you are a fool teetering on the verge of dumbass. What you don't realize is that these answers put you on the path one step ahead of last time. You want to quit with the accountability of this site? Fine. But that means is that you need to face your demons and never let them get the best of you. We can help if you let us, or we can sit idly by and watch as flail your arms in failure yet again.
We don't want that.
You don't want that.
I came back here 505 days ago today to tell of my failure, and I have lived the answers to those questions I gave each day. I have made accountability a number 1 priority here, and I have made myself recognizable if I should fade. I have made my promise for 505 days straight (100% roll), and I reach out to those that need help to make my quit stronger. I will never, ever forget that I am an addict again.
That's what I'm doing differently this time.
Ok .......
What happened? I screwed up. I tried to fool myself into believing that one time wouldn't matter......that a few cigarettes wouldn't hook me back. Once I was smoking again then I tried to bargain with myself that I could stop smoking with the help of chewing tobacco. Needless to say I couldn't. I messed up by viewing this as either quitting smoking or quitting chewing. I need to focus on the nicotine as the culprit and the smoking and chewing is just the vehicle for delivery of the drug.
Why did it happen? I quit focusing on the quit..........I didn't respect it. I didn't keep it in my sights. I just assummed I was quit and that was that.
What will I do differently? That's what I am still figuring out.......I am viewing this quit as my indictment on nicotine.......not just chewing or smoking. I know this is something that I have to think about everyday..........
Tim, I hope some of the below strikes a chord. There is so much wisdom all over this site, read it, drink it, breathe it, live it, BE it.
ComplacencySome of you might be at a stage where this quit is...dare I say it? Kinda EASY! You haven't been craving as much, hell sometimes you barely even think about dip. You might even be wondering why it took you so long to quit, as it really wasn't as hard as you thought...
I know I came to that stage about day 25 or so. Now the face of the enemy has changed. Your first days were sheer willpower, withdrawals, craves, reaching for a can that was no longer there...but now your enemy has a new name:
COMPLACENCY....
The nic-bitch has been waiting for this point, waiting for the time you go out without your cell phone, waiting for the time you get drunk, or until you will listen to her little promptings that you can have "just one". Waiting until you know that you own this addiction, that no thought or planning is required to protect your quit. She's waiting to separate you from your support, get you distant from the herd so she can move in for the kill.
COMPLACENCY- This enemy you will battle for perhaps thousands of days, perhaps even for the rest of your life. I can tell you I would LOVE to forget about dip, love to forget about this stupid addiction, but I know I should not, that I cannot. You see, i have failed at quitting many times, I know what happens when I forget. To forget is to fail.
For that reason, you will see me posting roll tomorrow. It is how I have begun my day for the last 321 days in a row- a reminder that I am an addict, lest I forget.
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A Word to the RetreadsI wanted to wait until all of the drama died down to have a word with you....
So you are back...and posting roll...Doing the things I would expect to see from someone who is serious about their quit...In addition to posting roll, I sure hope you are living, breathing, drinking the kool aid here.
You can believe 2 things about this place: It's nothing more than a tool to help you quit and the people here are just strangers in cyberspace........ or this is a place full of dead serious quitters intent on saving their own life and helping others save theirs.
In the short time I have been here, I have actually met several quitters, talked to some more on the phone, texted still others, and keep in contact with others through facebook, pm, and email. I have moved the KTC experience far beyond some self help website in cyberspace. I have no place to hide...In order to get away from these folks I would have to change my home number, email address, cell number, move (yes some of them know where I live), abandon my facebook account, and ask my kids and wife to abandon theirs.
In other words- this is my last quit- and I am all in. I have built my accountability to the point that there is no going back...no hedged bets, no retreat clause, no surrender.
My question for you is: Have you decided this is your last quit? Then box yourself in...build your accountability to the point there is no escape. Take every opportunity to be held accountable to other quitters. Stay in constant contact with people that will not tolerate addict thinking. In short put all your chips in the center of the table...go all in.
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Is Posting Roll Enough?So you've got a handle on how the site works, right? Post roll, honor that promise, repeat...is that all it takes? Technically, yes that is all it takes- if you do those three things every day without fail, you will quit for the rest of your life one today at a time- except -it doesn't seem to play out that way for many folks....That program is the foundation, the cornerstone of the program here. It is the bare minimum. That's the problem right there- people who do the bare minimum for their quit tend not to stick with it over the long haul. I can tell these people right away- they are the ones that you almost never see here as they are only here long enough to post roll. Those are the folks that you have to PM and/or use multiple posts to get their attention, because they don't even take the time to scroll down to find out what happened to their quit brothers/sisters throughout the day....hell they don't even look over the roll they are posting in to see what others are going through. I am pretty convinced I could change the header to
"December Druids in Favor of Clubbing Baby Seals to Death" and they would come in, hit the quote button post their roll and leave... These people contribute nothing to the site- they are just a name followed by a number. Just as they were on the site they tend to just fade away into oblivion...and when they are gone, nobody really notices...sometimes they come back and post a day 1...usually it doesn't matter though. Because they usually just do the same thing all over again....post roll, leave the site quickly, fade away....
Then there are those that "get it". Those that understand the more they have invested in their quit, the better. Those that post roll every day and then build on it with developing accountability by exchanging numbers, reading the treasure chest of knowledge that is found throughout the site, by stepping up an helping other quitters- those are the people who stay quit.
Is your quit worth more than the bare minimum? If it's not- I predict a cave in your future. Post Roll, Honor Your Promise, Repeat. Exchange Numbers, Read, Take the time to help quitters new and old. Invest in your quit.
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A Word to Those That Know More than the VetsImagine that you are standing in front of a minefield...on the other side of that minefield stands a soldier...not only has he walked that minefield safely, but he has guided thousands of others through that minefield safely as well.. He hails you from the other side and offers to guide you across safely...
do you:
a) tell him he is well meaning but really doesn't know shit about minefields
or
b.) shut up and listen to what he has to say, treading the path of thousands of others before you.
one way
guarantees you safe passage, Why tread a new path?
drink the kool aid...drink long. drink deep.
Don't be a casualty.
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Want vs DecisionSo what happened to those that disappeared to never be heard from again? While we can't be sure of a cave, it is possible that they just didn't want this bad enough. For those of you who are left: How bad do you want to quit? Because your success is predicted with perfect accuracy from the true answer to that question. Most of my 33 years dipping I strongly "wanted" to quit. If quitting's a strong "want" in your life- you will fail. It may not be today, it may not be next week, you may make it to your HOF day and beyond, but eventually you will cave. For those of you in this category- no advice you receive is going to be effective over the long term until you decide to shut the door on nicotine. Until you make the decision that you will pursue a lifestyle of quit. Go look at the cancer pics, do some research on what big tobacco has done over the years to keep you as their Marionette....read about Tom and Jenny Kern. go over to whyquit.com and read some of the stories there. Do whatever it takes to get you to the point of closing the door on nicotine. While we can give advice on how to quit, we cannot close the door for you. That, dear reader, is up to you.
If you are truly sick of this stupid addiction, really sick of being the lackey of big tobacco, sick of worrying about cancer, sick of hiding your addiction from others, and you want this quit more than anything else..and you drink the KTC kool aid - you will succeed- guaranteed. The program is foolproof:
Post Roll
Honor your promise for today
Repeat
One last thing: Quitters find a way to quit. Caver's find a way to cave.
Be a quitter.
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No Reservations AllowedI was talking to a friend of mine about his AA meeting...he was telling me that there were several types of people there: ..the hard nosed in your face types who know that one drink will never be permissible, then there are the quieter ones, who also know that alcohol is off limits forever... the ones that are there because they are quitting for someone else: for their spouse, or for the judge...and then you will find some that are quit for today..but they are not really sure if they are an alcoholic...That is what is known as having a reservation...they are not really sure that they are quit for good...The first two types are the ones most likely to be successful in building a lifetime of sobriety one day at a time...The rest...well the failure rate is off the charts....
Do YOU have any reservations? Is there a circumstance that would push you over the edge? Is there a crave that would get too strong? Is there a limit to what you would do to protect your quit?
Know for sure that you are an addict. Know that "just one" will lead you back into the abyss of active addiction. Time to cancel your reservations and fly first class with your quit.
To quote one badass quitter:
No more- not for any reason!
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no.
The word is NO.
It is THE word that will keep you quit.
NO I will not back down.
NO I will not sacrifice my dignity to grovel at the feet of nicotine.
NO I will not give up my freedom in exchange for slavery.
NO I will not sacrifice my integrity for the empty promise that is a crave.
NO I will not enrich the coffers of those whose wealth is built on the misery of others.
NO I will not let my family down
NO I will not contribute to my own early demise today.
HELL NO I will not ingest nicotine today.
Advice is here, Support is here. An ass kicking when necessary is here. The fortitude to say NO is up to you.