In the mirror

[Wt57]

I have absolutely noticed a change in how I handle stress. You have to figure, I have had nic in my system since I was 10. Until July 13 2012 I was a 3 can a day dipper, and more if it was the weekend and I was drinking. I have always been a strict, no nonsense, and honestly angry guy. I always figured that if not for the nic in my life I would be some kind of serial killer "jk". Now I think nic was my stress response. Basically if you pissed me off at the exact same time that I was getting a nic fix, I would be ok, but otherwise it was on! I have noticed that I have gone 2 days without getting angry. My kids have fought, I kept cool and talked it out. My kids have not listened, doing what they wanted instead of what they were told, I calmly told them to go their rooms until I could think of a good punishment "that was the punishment" lol. My wife got pissy a time or two, I responded with a reassuring smile and a shoulder rub. I have no idea how this could be, but I am more relaxed "other then during urges" without the nic.

well, different people respond differently. Sounds like your body certainly responds to the lack of a stimulant - which nicotine is. But I would cautiuon you, do not assume that this is the way it will always be...you might slip right back to being that angry guy from time to time as your body adjusts...

Keep talking about it on here though...stayig active and working through the changes this way and keeping track of things is a good tool for the active quitter...

Keep it up...get digits....ask for help when you need it

You were exactly right. Today was my first day back to work from my vacation, and I did not think I was going to make it through the day without loosing my job. I was at one point ready to tell my boss all the things I have thought about him over the last 8 years working there. Thank God for the people here, and my family. Without them or this place I would have lost it today. I felt like an out of control raging madman. But I fought through it, and now I'm home and feeling better.

Rubicon gather #'s, stay close, rage here, have wide read the spousal support section on home page and draw on our strength and support!!

[rubiconmaster]

I have absolutely noticed a change in how I handle stress. You have to figure, I have had nic in my system since I was 10. Until July 13 2012 I was a 3 can a day dipper, and more if it was the weekend and I was drinking. I have always been a strict, no nonsense, and honestly angry guy. I always figured that if not for the nic in my life I would be some kind of serial killer "jk". Now I think nic was my stress response. Basically if you pissed me off at the exact same time that I was getting a nic fix, I would be ok, but otherwise it was on! I have noticed that I have gone 2 days without getting angry. My kids have fought, I kept cool and talked it out. My kids have not listened, doing what they wanted instead of what they were told, I calmly told them to go their rooms until I could think of a good punishment "that was the punishment" lol. My wife got pissy a time or two, I responded with a reassuring smile and a shoulder rub. I have no idea how this could be, but I am more relaxed "other then during urges" without the nic.

well, different people respond differently. Sounds like your body certainly responds to the lack of a stimulant - which nicotine is. But I would cautiuon you, do not assume that this is the way it will always be...you might slip right back to being that angry guy from time to time as your body adjusts...

Keep talking about it on here though...stayig active and working through the changes this way and keeping track of things is a good tool for the active quitter...

Keep it up...get digits....ask for help when you need it

You were exactly right. Today was my first day back to work from my vacation, and I did not think I was going to make it through the day without loosing my job. I was at one point ready to tell my boss all the things I have thought about him over the last 8 years working there. Thank God for the people here, and my family. Without them or this place I would have lost it today. I felt like an out of control raging madman. But I fought through it, and now I'm home and feeling better.

[wastepanel]

Poof.

[CoachDoc]

I have absolutely noticed a change in how I handle stress. You have to figure, I have had nic in my system since I was 10. Until July 13 2012 I was a 3 can a day dipper, and more if it was the weekend and I was drinking. I have always been a strict, no nonsense, and honestly angry guy. I always figured that if not for the nic in my life I would be some kind of serial killer "jk". Now I think nic was my stress response. Basically if you pissed me off at the exact same time that I was getting a nic fix, I would be ok, but otherwise it was on! I have noticed that I have gone 2 days without getting angry. My kids have fought, I kept cool and talked it out. My kids have not listened, doing what they wanted instead of what they were told, I calmly told them to go their rooms until I could think of a good punishment "that was the punishment" lol. My wife got pissy a time or two, I responded with a reassuring smile and a shoulder rub. I have no idea how this could be, but I am more relaxed "other then during urges" without the nic.

well, different people respond differently. Sounds like your body certainly responds to the lack of a stimulant - which nicotine is. But I would cautiuon you, do not assume that this is the way it will always be...you might slip right back to being that angry guy from time to time as your body adjusts...

Keep talking about it on here though...stayig active and working through the changes this way and keeping track of things is a good tool for the active quitter...

Keep it up...get digits....ask for help when you need it

[rubiconmaster]

I have absolutely noticed a change in how I handle stress. You have to figure, I have had nic in my system since I was 10. Until July 13 2012 I was a 3 can a day dipper, and more if it was the weekend and I was drinking. I have always been a strict, no nonsense, and honestly angry guy. I always figured that if not for the nic in my life I would be some kind of serial killer "jk". Now I think nic was my stress response. Basically if you pissed me off at the exact same time that I was getting a nic fix, I would be ok, but otherwise it was on! I have noticed that I have gone 2 days without getting angry. My kids have fought, I kept cool and talked it out. My kids have not listened, doing what they wanted instead of what they were told, I calmly told them to go their rooms until I could think of a good punishment "that was the punishment" lol. My wife got pissy a time or two, I responded with a reassuring smile and a shoulder rub. I have no idea how this could be, but I am more relaxed "other then during urges" without the nic.

[Bean]

Y'all are exactly right...kids, family, friends or whatever can help, but the reason that I am quit is because I no longer want ME to be a slave to nicotine. The bonus is that by doing that, I am helping accomplish the other things.

I guess keeping prioties straight makes everything else fall in line. Kinda like the reason you always pull a rope because you can't push one anywhere.

[Grizzly25]

Coach - I'm not disagreeing, but see what you think about this...

As I think back, I think my motivation was my kids...even more so than myself or my wife.  I knew Cope was terrible for me...I saw cancer pics and read stories.  None of that really phased me (I am a terrible dumb-ass, by the way). 

But the 9-11 Survivor's show and looking down at my own son (age 2 at the time).  That was what triggered my quit.  I already wanted to quit, but I kept making excuses and setting fake quit dates until I realized that I wanted to be around for my family more than I wanted to dip.  So, I guess I quit "for me" because I get what I wanted...to be free of dip.  But my motivation seems like it was more my kids.

My wife was a motivation as well, but I had lied to her so long that I had grown numb to the guilt of that.  (Like I said...I'm a terrible dumb-ass). 

I wonder if you think it makes any sense that "quitting for me" involced my kids as motivation?  Not sure I'm making sense.  But I'm glad to be quit with you today and I appreciate your involvement!!!

We all have things that motivate us. In a lot of instances, as we change and grow and uncover new things, and life around us changes, so too do the things that motivate us. For instance, I thought I wanted to quit for my (then) wife. She is now an ex-wife. If I had placed the reason for my choosing to quit upon her, who's to say that I wouldn't have gone back to dipping when the marriage did fall apart?

I know, your kids are your kids and they won't divorce you or leave you - in most cases. But, God forbid, what happens if your whole reason for quitting is to be a good dad...to be there for your kids...and something happens to your kids? Does that mean your reason for quitting no longer exists? Could some, in a fit of rage and in a way of trying to strike back, simply start dipping again because "it no longer matters?" Who's to say...

BUT, you are always present....you are stuck with yourself for the rest of your life...however long that life is. Quit for you, and the only one you have to blame for your choice to cave is you...or, to put it in a more positive light, you can thank yourself for being there for YOU every day and making your quit possible.

Find and take motivation where and when it presents itself...but motivation is what HELPS you remain quit...it is not the REASON for your quit.

I have read arguments both ways lately and I say to each his own!

For me I took the quit for me to heart mainly cause when I had stopped before it was for my wife and family but the addict mind plays tricks on me and well I actually held some resentment to them!

Now I quit for me and me alone! I say that with tons of conviction, the reason I do is cause now I have nobody to blame but myself which is still the same but I also know that people including family will irritate me but it is COMPLETELY my CHOICE to stay quit no one else but me!

I will say my family has enjoyed the new me for the most part I would be lying if I said everything was awesome but hey we are normal and sometimes even I get mad at my boys or sometimes even my girls can make daddy quite mad, the new thing now is I get to relax myself and not depend or use nic as a crutch!

Anyway just my 2 cents...

[CoachDoc]

Coach - I'm not disagreeing, but see what you think about this...

As I think back, I think my motivation was my kids...even more so than myself or my wife. I knew Cope was terrible for me...I saw cancer pics and read stories. None of that really phased me (I am a terrible dumb-ass, by the way).

But the 9-11 Survivor's show and looking down at my own son (age 2 at the time). That was what triggered my quit. I already wanted to quit, but I kept making excuses and setting fake quit dates until I realized that I wanted to be around for my family more than I wanted to dip. So, I guess I quit "for me" because I get what I wanted...to be free of dip. But my motivation seems like it was more my kids.

My wife was a motivation as well, but I had lied to her so long that I had grown numb to the guilt of that. (Like I said...I'm a terrible dumb-ass).

I wonder if you think it makes any sense that "quitting for me" involced my kids as motivation? Not sure I'm making sense. But I'm glad to be quit with you today and I appreciate your involvement!!!

We all have things that motivate us. In a lot of instances, as we change and grow and uncover new things, and life around us changes, so too do the things that motivate us. For instance, I thought I wanted to quit for my (then) wife. She is now an ex-wife. If I had placed the reason for my choosing to quit upon her, who's to say that I wouldn't have gone back to dipping when the marriage did fall apart?

I know, your kids are your kids and they won't divorce you or leave you - in most cases. But, God forbid, what happens if your whole reason for quitting is to be a good dad...to be there for your kids...and something happens to your kids? Does that mean your reason for quitting no longer exists? Could some, in a fit of rage and in a way of trying to strike back, simply start dipping again because "it no longer matters?" Who's to say...

BUT, you are always present....you are stuck with yourself for the rest of your life...however long that life is. Quit for you, and the only one you have to blame for your choice to cave is you...or, to put it in a more positive light, you can thank yourself for being there for YOU every day and making your quit possible.

Find and take motivation where and when it presents itself...but motivation is what HELPS you remain quit...it is not the REASON for your quit.

[Bean]

Coach - I'm not disagreeing, but see what you think about this...

As I think back, I think my motivation was my kids...even more so than myself or my wife. I knew Cope was terrible for me...I saw cancer pics and read stories. None of that really phased me (I am a terrible dumb-ass, by the way).

But the 9-11 Survivor's show and looking down at my own son (age 2 at the time). That was what triggered my quit. I already wanted to quit, but I kept making excuses and setting fake quit dates until I realized that I wanted to be around for my family more than I wanted to dip. So, I guess I quit "for me" because I get what I wanted...to be free of dip. But my motivation seems like it was more my kids.

My wife was a motivation as well, but I had lied to her so long that I had grown numb to the guilt of that. (Like I said...I'm a terrible dumb-ass).

I wonder if you think it makes any sense that "quitting for me" involced my kids as motivation? Not sure I'm making sense. But I'm glad to be quit with you today and I appreciate your involvement!!!

[CoachDoc]

I wanted to share something with you - it was my first post on KTC and some of the best advice I EVER received in my time here. Read it, think about it and don't brush it off or get upset by the message...it could mean the difference between success and failure in your quit.

I found this site when looking for alternatives to dipping.  I've been dipping for the past 15-20 years and it has been a major factor in nearly ruining my marriage.  I'd promised my wife and kids that I would quit, multiple times.  I would hide the cans, lie to my wife and kids about dipping.  I knew that my wife was hurt by the dipping so I tried to tell her what she wanted to hear and still keep the can.  I wasn't willing to see tha the lies were more damaging than the dip itself.  I have not had a dip of Cope since Thursday, Feb. 25, 2010.  I know that this is THE quit.  I have never gone more than 2 days without and the craving has been tough.  I think that for me the true difficulty comes from not having something in my mouth, less the nicotine.  Gum, mints and seeds have been helpful, especially if I cheek them.  The first 2 days were very tough - trying to figure out how to buy a can and just hide it.  I thought of how this would likely end my marriage and take me away from my 4 boys and the decision was made a lot easier (but still hard).  I plan to post here regularly...need to read more of the site and figure out the role-call.  Thanks to all of you here...

- Dan

Coach,

If I can make a suggestion. Make this quit about YOU and ONLY YOU. It is time to step up and own this quit.

If you are quitting for someone else, your chances of true success are Slim....

And Slim just left town.

You can do this!

YOU can do this, rubiconmaster. Find the support you need here, get numbers and stay active in the quit...but make it about you...

Let me know if I can be of help.

[mikegooch]

I quit at a strange time. I believe it was around midnight on july 14th. Which makes this still my first day, but it feels like my 2nd. I don't know if that makes it worse or not. Going through my first withdrawals right now. I don't have to willpower to describe it right now, the idea of describing really pisses me off.  Strange how these waves come and go. It's like one craving is actually many little cravings that surge and pulse. I will be feeling like all I want to do is pick a fight with my wife, yell at the kids, rip my hair out. Body feels tense, like I want to punch somebody, this seems to last for about 5 min, then all the sudden, it leaves, mind is clear, body almost slumps with relaxsation, and I sigh. It comes back about 3 min latter. How long should this last?

Hey Man.. The fog is weird... I am on day 35 and sometimes all of a sudden I am in it again.. however it does not last very long at all.. in and out in a few minutes. I still have some cravings but they are only mental. After 3 days most of the nic is out of your body.. I really don't know how long it will take to get it out of our heads.. this i know we will be addicts for the rest of out lives but we only have to quit for today.. I loved your 1st story man... I remember as a kid seeing my dad spit out the window while he was driving and yes I though it was the coolest.. I don't know how long it was after that.. but we were at Walmart (I think) when Walmart was still kinda small..36 years ago..  we were Christmas shopping.. I asked Dad if I could get some tobacco.. Chewing Tobacco - Work Horse.. He looked at Mom she looked at Him and he said sure.. And as he told me 100s of times before his death in 2008.. "I thought it would make you sick and that would be the end of that".. well it did make me sick.. I remember the 1st time I tried to chew it.. I went out in the yard and took one leaf.. As a 6 year old boy it was very strong.. My young body tried to reject the fact that I was no putting poison in my body and shuttered! I spit it out.. I kept on trying time and again.. I got sick time after time.. but more than anything I wanted to be like my dad and be able to chew and spit out of a window.. That"s what I thought it took to make him proud of me.. Well finally I could do it.. Chew and spit! Then finally I was chewing in front of my other cousins who couldn't.. me playing the big shot.. then in front of my kids at school.. then i started dipping.. then years later I couldn't quit! I was an addict.. I think you know the rest of the story... Join us in a fight to save your life and maybe the life of your child as well.. He will do what his Daddy does..

[eric71]

I quit at a strange time. I believe it was around midnight on july 14th. Which makes this still my first day, but it feels like my 2nd. I don't know if that makes it worse or not. Going through my first withdrawals right now. I don't have to willpower to describe it right now, the idea of describing really pisses me off.  Strange how these waves come and go. It's like one craving is actually many little cravings that surge and pulse. I will be feeling like all I want to do is pick a fight with my wife, yell at the kids, rip my hair out. Body feels tense, like I want to punch somebody, this seems to last for about 5 min, then all the sudden, it leaves, mind is clear, body almost slumps with relaxsation, and I sigh. It comes back about 3 min latter. How long should this last?

Dude - hang in there _ i actually have a shirt I ripped off my body on day 4. I keep it to remember what a hold this shit had on me and that I am not going to take one more dip and do that again. Also I now spend time with my kids instead of trying to sneak away and did in the car in some fricken parking lot somewhere - while they wonder why there dad does not want to hang out with them.

Stay clean - think about the positives and do not give in!

First, welcome to KTC and welcome to Oct12, the Madmen of Quit.

Congratulations on choosing to take your life back and letting it be an example to those you come in contact with.

I can totally relate to where you're at in your quit. Look up "Day 5 WTF?" by me in the intros. I just walked this road and got a lot of solid advice from the vets on here.

Steer clear of people for a little while, have the family go somewhere for a day, w/out you.

If you need anything shoot me a PM and I'll get you all my contact info.

Again, congratulations.

Proud to be quit w/you today. QLAFM (quit like a fucking madman)!

[you can do it]

I quit at a strange time. I believe it was around midnight on july 14th. Which makes this still my first day, but it feels like my 2nd. I don't know if that makes it worse or not. Going through my first withdrawals right now. I don't have to willpower to describe it right now, the idea of describing really pisses me off. Strange how these waves come and go. It's like one craving is actually many little cravings that surge and pulse. I will be feeling like all I want to do is pick a fight with my wife, yell at the kids, rip my hair out. Body feels tense, like I want to punch somebody, this seems to last for about 5 min, then all the sudden, it leaves, mind is clear, body almost slumps with relaxsation, and I sigh. It comes back about 3 min latter. How long should this last?

Dude - hang in there _ i actually have a shirt I ripped off my body on day 4. I keep it to remember what a hold this shit had on me and that I am not going to take one more dip and do that again. Also I now spend time with my kids instead of trying to sneak away and did in the car in some fricken parking lot somewhere - while they wonder why there dad does not want to hang out with them.

Stay clean - think about the positives and do not give in!

[rubiconmaster]

I quit at a strange time. I believe it was around midnight on july 14th. Which makes this still my first day, but it feels like my 2nd. I don't know if that makes it worse or not. Going through my first withdrawals right now. I don't have to willpower to describe it right now, the idea of describing really pisses me off. Strange how these waves come and go. It's like one craving is actually many little cravings that surge and pulse. I will be feeling like all I want to do is pick a fight with my wife, yell at the kids, rip my hair out. Body feels tense, like I want to punch somebody, this seems to last for about 5 min, then all the sudden, it leaves, mind is clear, body almost slumps with relaxsation, and I sigh. It comes back about 3 min latter. How long should this last?

[cmark]

Rubicon master .. I am glad U are here ... as father of 4 small kids I get it big time ...

PM me anytime and we can compare notes ..

luv M