Intro-Been Here Before

[cbird65]

Roll call is not a daily attendance sheet, it is a daily pledge.

We've all pledged to ourselves before that "this is the last one..." It means a lot more to me and thousands of others when that pledge is to you, not just my own conscience. My commitment to my conscience had been altered through 21 years of chemical imbalance. My commitment to you, when it's made every day, cannot be changed. It cannot be reasoned away. It cannot have its inhibitions lowered. It is done. And I must uphold my pledge.

I have done a million dumb, counterproductive, unhealthy and/or illegal things in my days when I really only have had to answer to myself. Still, very little of my life do I regret. I have had two severe cave dreams since this quit started 51 days ago. I woke up crying from the one last week. It is because of that external commitment that I feel such responsibility to uphold my word.

This is the program. This is how this works. Do it. Even if you, a good quitter really doesn't NEED to post roll for yourself everyday (which I doubt you don't), I am asking you post roll for me. Let me know you are there even if we don't talk. Let me know you are still pledging to quit for that day. Let me see that I have others I am responsible to answer to.

If this isn't you, and you don't need any of this. Please take your form of quit somewhere else. I wish you luck. I honestly do wish you success. But for this site, for these purposes, I want to go into my daily battle, and it is a fucking battle every fucking day for me, knowing, believing that everyone of us is here for the same cause, and have the same way to get there.

I can't fucking wait to hit Hall of Fame to write thanks to all of my quit brothers. But then again, yeah, that can wait, cause today is a mother fucking battle for me, and the remaining 49 are likely to be as well, so I'll have a bunch more names to add to that list by that point.

Peace, Love and Quit,
Boelker62

bring that all day long!

[Boelker62]

Roll call is not a daily attendance sheet, it is a daily pledge.

We've all pledged to ourselves before that "this is the last one..." It means a lot more to me and thousands of others when that pledge is to you, not just my own conscience. My commitment to my conscience had been altered through 21 years of chemical imbalance. My commitment to you, when it's made every day, cannot be changed. It cannot be reasoned away. It cannot have its inhibitions lowered. It is done. And I must uphold my pledge.

I have done a million dumb, counterproductive, unhealthy and/or illegal things in my days when I really only have had to answer to myself. Still, very little of my life do I regret. I have had two severe cave dreams since this quit started 51 days ago. I woke up crying from the one last week. It is because of that external commitment that I feel such responsibility to uphold my word.

This is the program. This is how this works. Do it. Even if you, a good quitter really doesn't NEED to post roll for yourself everyday (which I doubt you don't), I am asking you post roll for me. Let me know you are there even if we don't talk. Let me know you are still pledging to quit for that day. Let me see that I have others I am responsible to answer to.

If this isn't you, and you don't need any of this. Please take your form of quit somewhere else. I wish you luck. I honestly do wish you success. But for this site, for these purposes, I want to go into my daily battle, and it is a fucking battle every fucking day for me, knowing, believing that everyone of us is here for the same cause, and have the same way to get there.

I can't fucking wait to hit Hall of Fame to write thanks to all of my quit brothers. But then again, yeah, that can wait, cause today is a mother fucking battle for me, and the remaining 49 are likely to be as well, so I'll have a bunch more names to add to that list by that point.

Peace, Love and Quit,
Boelker62

[Boelker62]

My apologies if I misled. I meant in no way that the concept of roll call is in any way not valuable. I should have explained myself. I really meant that yes, technically, not very accessible. Conceptually, it's the reason I came back. I'd failed on my own. I just didn't want to wait to check in until I was back at my desktop at 8AM, after I would have dipped at least 5 more times from 5PM to 8AM. Again, my apologies if I misled.

I'm on board, and will hit roll call in the AM.

[Copehater]

Welcome Boelker62!

You have made a great decision.

Before we jump on the roll call post as being jibberish or whatever he said, please reread it, he is posting from an IPAD, after 660+ days I still cannot post roll call from an ipad.


Like I said - Welcome 62! Come to live chat - up in the right hand corner, lots of quitters in there to help you.

[Mthomas3824]

I'll tell ya, I still don't know about roll call. It still seems like jibberish to me.

Is it that it is jibberish or is it just too simple a concept to believe in?

Here is the simplicity for me. I can promise myself not to dip but when I am all alone, I don't care too much and it doesn't bother me to disappoint myself.

If I promise someone else that I won't dip, I will bite, kick, cratch, scream and bleed to keep my word.

Posting roll is jiberish? Posting roll is the tool that kept me quit for 167 days. Maybe you don't have the attention span. Horse shit! How long does it take you to go buy a can of dip? You had a span of attention to buy your can. What is about 5 minutes max to post roll.

Welcome back and it is good for you to quit. I don't understand your angle though. Take posting roll more serious. Value the people you promise and expect those same people to keep their promise to you.

I challenge you to post roll for 30 days. Never miss a day and then revisit your post about roll call being jiberish.

[Boelker62]

I love your signature man. Such a funny movie part might just help me through this. Personifying your can. Thanks. I'm on an ipad now, so three different instructions/ways to post roll got the best of me before.

[cdmavs41]

Glad to have you here Dave. You're certainly not the only one on here that's quit and relapsed before. Posting roll, as strange as it sounds, will force you to keep that shit out of your lip if you're really a man of your word. It's the daily promise to yourself and your fellow quitters that you'll stay clean just for that day. Don't even bother thinking about tomorrow. You'll want to post in the November 2012 group. Instructions are in each post I think, so just click the link. I'm on day 22, so hopefully a more veteran member can give you clearer advice. PM me if you need a number.

[Boelker62]

Good afternoon! I'm Dave Boelker, and am a 35 year old building inspector from PA. Over two years ago. I quit for a year, having dipped fairly consistently since the age of 16. Somehow, a year ago, I fell back off. Don't know why. Nothing happened. Maybe I was eating too much and was more conceited about gaining weight than the risks of this fucking demon bitch nicotine. So, today, August 27, 2012, I am quitting again. I don't have to. I wasn't caught. No ones holding it over me. I want to. I really do. I remember being so free from the feelings and swings, before. Now, my day is arranged around it. Not tonight. Forget about tomorrow. Forget about forever. Just working on tonight.

I'll tell ya, I still don't know about roll call. It still seems like jibberish to me. Maybe I don't have the antention span. Still, I want to be able to chat with someone from time to time and looking for some support.