Thanks guys for the advise. I'll try and explain.
I love my wife, we get along great. What is weird, is our relationship has been close to the best this past week..... (my explanation is i am consience of what nicotene will try, it tries to bring out the asshole. I am trying to be proactive....i don't know)
Heres the thing. she busted the ninja years ago. I made an open attempt with her to quit (today realize it was a stop). i probably made it 5 days or so.
Here was the issue, wife is a kind hearted person, but has no patience with people putting poison in their body. which is correct.. She basically belittled me for starting, doing it, etc. caused fights (I know my irratibility didn't help). It just wasn't good, i felt low self confidence, etc.. I'm not blaming her for the failed attempts, i blame myself. But, it just wasn't what i needed at that time. I don't hold any hard feelings toward her for that, she is right. I just know, that i may be emotionally vurnable now, and don't need negativity. I feel in control, and have a positive attitude with this quit. I also think i am proactive fighting the nic rage, because it would blow my cover if i don't.
This weekend, we spent the whole weekend together as a family. No secret black Ops ninja dip missions. Unloading that baggage, i swear offsets some of the mental trials with quitting.
I realize nic rage is real, ive experienced it. But i am very determined to not let this quit effect my life in any other way. I know that nic rage will try to come, It has tried, but I am ready for it, and fight it down.
I realize 8 days, i have a ways to go. I realize there will be different trials come up. But i have confidence i can beat them. I realize this point in the quit, can be dangerous for some, you feel better, think you got er licked. Maybe let guard down some. But i will not.
Physically, I feel the best I felt since I started the quit journey. I'm loving it. I swear to god, no cravings yesterday until about 2:00 pm. and when they came, they didn't last long. I'm ready for them.
Don't get me wrong, it is still very tough. But it is very doable. After only 8 days, i'm excited to see 16, 50, 100, 300 days.
Sorry, i am not disagreeing with anyone on letting wife it. I'm just stating what my simple mind says