20 years and scared

[RAZD611]

but I think it goes something like this: Post roll first thing every morning. Stay true to my word to not use nic that day. Inform friends, family, and co-workers of what I'm doing so that they can hold me accountable also. Tell co-workers that dip to keep that shit away from me!!!!! Use every resource necessary when the cravings hit...ktc site, phone numbers of quit brothers, family/friends. That's my plan. I'm done fucking around. You guys have every right to doubt me right now. But in 99 and a half days, I promise, you will be reading my hall of fame speech.

How do I get there? Not completely sure,

Better figure it the fuk out real quick.

I hope you enjoyed every second of it. I hope it was better than the best piece of ass you have ever had. I hope every second of it was like an orgasm in your mouth.

Why do you ask Razd, I knew it was wrong when I did it.

Simply because that it is dip I have resisted for 912 days. The one I know I can never have. It is the one that every individual here resists and knows that they can't have.

What makes you special. NOTHING.

[ERDVM]

BP

1. Plan to quit today. Today only. DbD. 99.3 days is a long time and allows "fuck it" moments to creep in your addict head.

2. Be fucking sure of your plan. I would add #1. I will call and speak/text to every KTC brother's number that I have. I will not be a pussy addict and get the balls to call them. ***Note to you BP - you need to get numbers*** I guarantee you call PCP, cope, rammin, patton, or my brother NV - you will not cave.

3. I am doubting your resolve and true desire to quit. This makes me sad and angry. Sad, because we are the same age, have 4 kids, and used for over 2 decades. I also am 60 days ahead of you, and I have glimpsed the land of milk and honey. It is awesome. Im angry because I Hate the Bitch. She knows everything to tempt you, to reel you back in between her legs.

BP: Post Roll, Promise to Quit that day, Keep your promise. Repeat daily.

Vadge
Pm me anytime, u want my # just ask.

Addendum:
You need to post your plan in your group.

[Bean]

Nobody is giving up on you. It is just that we've all heard "addict speak" before. In fact, we're fluent...we're addicts too.

I quit at least 10 times over 20 years before finding this site. When I finally decided to quit, the ONLY thing I did differently was to use this site.

Reading other folks stories just reminds me of my own. We are all almost word for word the same..started in high school, playing baseball, father/grandfather did it, knew it was bad, friends did it, could quit anytime I wanted, etc, etc.... It is amazing how similar we all are. And, our quits are even more similar. There is only one sure way out...cold turkey determination and mutual accountability.

Addicts are natural excuse-makers. I had a million of them. Even when I got serious, I still needed help. I found this site on Day 9 at about 4 AM. Nobody asked me for money. They just said, "welcome, post roll and keep your word." And I have. I take it pretty goddam serious, too. My life depends on it.

I would have caved if not for the support from the folks on this site. I know, because I always did before. This site is the difference. I owe my freedom to it. I'm telling you all of this so that you can grasp how important it is to keep your word. It is life and death. Your word is all you've got...and, as an addict, it isn't very good starting out.

But you can improve it. Quit talking about what you're gonna do, and do it. You can post roll, encourage others, read everything, keep your word. But I was serious about not coming back it you cave again. There are probably plenty of internet sites...go make asses out of them. Or, better yet, just stay right here, post roll, and be a fellow quit brother of ours.

[ballplayer76]

My plan is to quit and not cave again. How do I get there? Not completely sure, but I think it goes something like this: Post roll first thing every morning. Stay true to my word to not use nic that day. Inform friends, family, and co-workers of what I'm doing so that they can hold me accountable also. Tell co-workers that dip to keep that shit away from me!!!!! Use every resource necessary when the cravings hit...ktc site, phone numbers of quit brothers, family/friends. That's my plan. I'm done fucking around. You guys have every right to doubt me right now. But in 99 and a half days, I promise, you will be reading my hall of fame speech.

[nv0311]

no one is giving up, but you gotta pay the piper brother. what is your plan? who helps you execute? are you TRYING to quit, or are you QUITTING? stay focused, read the thread about the cavers, will suprise you. I'm here if you need me.

[Grizzly25]

All I can say grizzly, is I'm not here to waste anybody's time. And I will prove you wrong about my determination. Please don't give up on me yet.

I will give up on nobody!!

I just want to see you quit and be determined to quit!

Dont underestimate this, I have learned a ton so far in my short quit.

I dont underestimate what we are doing here I take it very seriously and so should you.

PM me if you need any numbers or help remember we are all in this together!

[ballplayer76]

All I can say grizzly, is I'm not here to waste anybody's time. And I will prove you wrong about my determination. Please don't give up on me yet.

[Grizzly25]

I did post it on June's page about an hour ago. My plan at the start basically was just to quit. I am seeing now that I need to be prepared at all times for the cravings. Bottle of water in the car, gum and seeds on me at all times. I won't be caught off guard again.

Its not just about being prepped that way its a determination to quit!!!
I dont want to doubt your dtermination but you seem way to wishy-washy and that never wins! Determination commitment and conviction are what will make your quit happen.

You need to be determined to NOT buy or use nic!
YOU need to make the commitment to yourself and your group that YOU are quit!
YOU need to make these promises and commitment with conviction to stay quit!

IF Quiting is what you WANT, you will NOT fail!

IF Your thinking about quiting cause it might could should be a good idea then you WILL Fail again!!!

[ballplayer76]

You're absolutely right Bean. I was not committed. I was not quitting because I truly wanted to. I was quitting out of fear due to a lump in my cheek that I had biopsied last week. I was looking for a reason to cave. Something to blame it on. I think what I finally settled on was something like- fuck it, I probably already have cancer. So why not?- Got the call this morning. Biopsy was negative. Now I quit for me. Now I stay prepared. Now I stop making excuses and sack up and do it. Now I make use of this site and the all the good people in it. I have phone numbers from several quitters. Now, I win.

[Bean]

Keddy hit the nail on the head...what is going to be different this time? You can't change the past. And nobody knows what the future holds. But you can sure as shit quit jerking our chains about quitting when you're not committed.

If you are serious and committed, then failure is impossible. Your problem is that you weren't. Did you exhaust every possibility? Did you PM anyone? Did you tell your quit bros that you were about to cave? You chose to cave because your word wasn't any good. Think about that. Nobody made you cave. You just weren't strong enough to keep your word.

You either need to post up and keep your fucking word this time, or quit wasting our time. Tell all of your loved ones that would rather torture them with your loss than give up nicotine. Tell them how fun your funeral is going to be...maybe get a buy a round coffin so they can all have a good laugh at your funeral.

Look, what's done is done. What are you going to do about? That's what we want to know. And if you ever think of caving again...don't come back.

[ballplayer76]

I did post it on June's page about an hour ago. My plan at the start basically was just to quit. I am seeing now that I need to be prepared at all times for the cravings. Bottle of water in the car, gum and seeds on me at all times. I won't be caught off guard again.

[Keddy]

Since I joined ktc, I've been contacted by pm, text, and in the forums by many other very supportive members. All have given excellent advice and support on quitting. Yesterday I failed to utilize the resources I have here, and gave in to my addiction. One of the members pm'd me, just to check in on me. I was honest with him, and told him I had caved and was starting over from day one. He pointed out the fact, that not only have I failed myself, but I disrespected my quit group and what this site stands for. Those were not my intentions, and I apologize for it. I know I'm gonna take some shit for caving. And I deserve it. So let the beatings begin. But I will quit this time. I will use every resource possible when the craving hits. And I will not cave again. Ballplayer 76 posting roll-day one.

Yes, you screwed up and you failed. We all can understand that.

The question is how is this instance going to be different from the first. What is going to keep you from caving again? Do you have a written, comprehensive Quit Plan in place to help you deal with the craves that are definitely going to come? Do you have some numbers to call and will you use them?

Are you going to be a man of your word this time and keep your promise to post roll early every day and not succumb to the nicBitch?

You will get some beatings. Take your hits and keep posting roll. It's up to you to see that you do not post yet another Day 1.

[nv0311]

I think you need to post this on June's page, I only saw that you posted day one. You need to tell your quit brethren what your doing different this time. Stay strong, use the tools. If you need me I am here.

[ballplayer76]

Thanks nv. I'm all over the Kool-aid from this point on.

Jon-I definitely will post it to my group. Not trying to hide it. I fucked up and I admit it.

[jonathanrivers]

Since I joined ktc, I've been contacted by pm, text, and in the forums by many other very supportive members. All have given excellent advice and support on quitting. Yesterday I failed to utilize the resources I have here, and gave in to my addiction. One of the members pm'd me, just to check in on me. I was honest with him, and told him I had caved and was starting over from day one. He pointed out the fact, that not only have I failed myself, but I disrespected my quit group and what this site stands for. Those were not my intentions, and I apologize for it. I know I'm gonna take some shit for caving. And I deserve it. So let the beatings begin. But I will quit this time. I will use every resource possible when the craving hits. And I will not cave again. Ballplayer 76 posting roll-day one.

If you haven't already, you need to go talk to your brothers in June and explain this to them.