Diesel's Intro Page

[Nickald]

********MICHIGAN MEET UP*************
Ann Arbor Buffalo Wild Wings on Tuesday June 25th at 6 pm. Spartanron , Nickald , IG2H and whoever else wants to join in.

Used to go there a lot as I went to college at Eastern. Sadly I cannot make it. Little 8 yr old Miss Diesel has a softball game I cannot miss.

Have some mango habanero wings and brews for me!!!

Have a good time. We'll have some for you and catch you next time.

[Diesel2112]

********MICHIGAN MEET UP*************
Ann Arbor Buffalo Wild Wings on Tuesday June 25th at 6 pm. Spartanron , Nickald , IG2H and whoever else wants to join in.

Used to go there a lot as I went to college at Eastern. Sadly I cannot make it. Little 8 yr old Miss Diesel has a softball game I cannot miss.

Have some mango habanero wings and brews for me!!!

[Nickald]

********MICHIGAN MEET UP*************
Ann Arbor Buffalo Wild Wings on Tuesday June 25th at 6 pm. Spartanron , Nickald , IG2H and whoever else wants to join in.

[Diesel2112]

Man, it's fun watching you lay it all out 'Popcorn' . Sometimes it's 'Finger' or 'bangin' other times it's 'chain' then they look like :blink: and they usually 'blowup'. What they don't understand is you're just trying to 'help'. Although I haven't seen much :asskiss: or 'bj' in the end 'arse' they've gone from 'zombie' to 'dance'. So, Big D...
'Cheers' brother. No 'B.S.'

Whoa. That was some strong emoticinning. Impressive. And thanks.

'embarrassed'

[copingwithoutcopen]

Man, it's fun watching you lay it all out 'Popcorn' . Sometimes it's 'Finger' or 'bangin' other times it's 'chain' then they look like :blink: and they usually 'blowup'. What they don't understand is you're just trying to 'help'. Although I haven't seen much :asskiss: or 'bj' in the end 'arse' they've gone from 'zombie' to 'dance'. So, Big D...
'Cheers' brother. No 'B.S.'

[Diesel2112]

Thanks for sharing Diesel.  I'm trying not to get freaked out about it though. I hope this doesn't happen to everyone!

I have a very pragmatic question about your anxiety issues. Are you dying for a dip amidst these moods or is that the last thing on your mind?

Right now, I'm completely obsessed with the hope that one day, my cravings will diminish and that I won't feel like gnawing on my arm without dip. If I have anxiety and depression, so be it. It's probably related to more than just dip for me anyway. For whatever reason, I'm less fearful of that. I just want to live free of living one step away from driving to 7-11. 

Anyway, good luck with everything. I hope you get some peace and quell all the after effects of our shared menace.

Don't worry. I think I'm just "lucky" with this ptsd thing. I've read a lot of stuff on here, but never anything about that. Think that's why I was so shocked by it.

Am I dying for a dip? Nope. Not one bit. I can beat a crave in 2.7 seconds, NOW..

When I first quit...I honestly believe every time I had a crave it came in the form of an anxiety attack. It literally was hell. The crave was bad but I honestly did not think I could live my life without dip. Flowers had no smell, food had no taste, my phone wrang I didn't answer, my email inbox had 1,000 unopened emails, I even questioned if I loved my own fucking kids. I was down and out, big time. Some of the thoughts in my head are unspeakable.

See, I'm not gonna bullshit here, I was a spoiled mother fucker growing up. Had a lot of stuff. My first car was a blue Z-28 my parents gave me. They paid for my college, books and spending money, they gave and did everything for me.

When I quit I had to do it by myself, well I had a lot of help from here and other resources but ultimately I was the one who had to do it.

I wanted so badly for someone else to quit for me, or tell me when I would be cured it drove me fucking ape shit. My mind and body were not used to this and I honestly believe that is why I struggled so much.

Why I didn't go back to the can, I have no idea. I vividly remember at one point my shrink considering if I should go back and ween myself back onto and off of chew again, or go for some nrt shit.

But, thanks to some great people, some meds and this site I dug down and stuck with it.

Don't let my story scare you. I'm a pussy. Let it inspire you that if a dumb ass goofball like myself can get through this shit, certainly YOU can too.

Everyone's journey is different, don't let my fucked up path influence you negatively.

You ever need anything, pm me anytime.

Dave,

Today I think is day 2 for you. On day 2 your mind plays all sorts of flicked up games. The nicotine is working its way out of your body and fighting every step of the way. There are a lot if different experiences that people feel as they progress on their quit, but if you think of a bell curve, diesel's experience is way to the right. He has inspired and motivated many if us on here, but on day 2, you should be focused on getting through life on day 2. I am fortunate to not be at that extreme on the bell curve, and if you keep your word and post roll first thing in the morning you can do this. You will be able to drive past a 7-11 no problem. It will take a few days, maybe a bit longer, but you can do it.

If you post roll and keep your word. Have you posted roll in September today????

No post roll... No word to keep. No word to keep while the nicotine is whispering seductive thoughts in you ear on day 2 makes a right turn into 7-11 a lot easier to justify. Post roll dammit!! Let this work for you!

Not sure why my roll call didn't work this morning but I think I got it on there now. Thanks for checking on me. Yes, true, I need to worry about today and not months from now. Patience, patience.

Damn Deisel you had it bad. It reminds me of me for the 1st 2 months, but you sound like you were even worse. I am just lucky that you came before me and were willing to share with me how to get through it. I honestly do not know if I could have been successful without the investment you made in my quit.

Keep up the quit. And don't stop helping these noobs, you are damn good at it.

Ryan

Yeah. I had it pretty fucking bad. Which is why I left the site for awhile. Thought I was gonna die from quitting. I could barely function . Thank God I work for my parents (still spoiled) or I would have been fired from any real job.

But I never caved and I never lied.

Think that's why I get so pissed at people who not only cave but lie about it or blow ot off like its no big deal.

Fuck it. It was some FOUL shit to go through, but I survived.

Little embarrassing but ill share the story. I don't give a fuck.

If it helps one person, its worth it in my book.

Today, I feel great. And that's the day that's most important around here, right?

Have a good weekend, you guys!

[Its_Got2Happen]

Thanks for sharing Diesel.  I'm trying not to get freaked out about it though. I hope this doesn't happen to everyone!

I have a very pragmatic question about your anxiety issues. Are you dying for a dip amidst these moods or is that the last thing on your mind?

Right now, I'm completely obsessed with the hope that one day, my cravings will diminish and that I won't feel like gnawing on my arm without dip. If I have anxiety and depression, so be it. It's probably related to more than just dip for me anyway. For whatever reason, I'm less fearful of that. I just want to live free of living one step away from driving to 7-11. 

Anyway, good luck with everything. I hope you get some peace and quell all the after effects of our shared menace.

Don't worry. I think I'm just "lucky" with this ptsd thing. I've read a lot of stuff on here, but never anything about that. Think that's why I was so shocked by it.

Am I dying for a dip? Nope. Not one bit. I can beat a crave in 2.7 seconds, NOW..

When I first quit...I honestly believe every time I had a crave it came in the form of an anxiety attack. It literally was hell. The crave was bad but I honestly did not think I could live my life without dip. Flowers had no smell, food had no taste, my phone wrang I didn't answer, my email inbox had 1,000 unopened emails, I even questioned if I loved my own fucking kids. I was down and out, big time. Some of the thoughts in my head are unspeakable.

See, I'm not gonna bullshit here, I was a spoiled mother fucker growing up. Had a lot of stuff. My first car was a blue Z-28 my parents gave me. They paid for my college, books and spending money, they gave and did everything for me.

When I quit I had to do it by myself, well I had a lot of help from here and other resources but ultimately I was the one who had to do it.

I wanted so badly for someone else to quit for me, or tell me when I would be cured it drove me fucking ape shit. My mind and body were not used to this and I honestly believe that is why I struggled so much.

Why I didn't go back to the can, I have no idea. I vividly remember at one point my shrink considering if I should go back and ween myself back onto and off of chew again, or go for some nrt shit.

But, thanks to some great people, some meds and this site I dug down and stuck with it.

Don't let my story scare you. I'm a pussy. Let it inspire you that if a dumb ass goofball like myself can get through this shit, certainly YOU can too.

Everyone's journey is different, don't let my fucked up path influence you negatively.

You ever need anything, pm me anytime.

Dave,

Today I think is day 2 for you. On day 2 your mind plays all sorts of flicked up games. The nicotine is working its way out of your body and fighting every step of the way. There are a lot if different experiences that people feel as they progress on their quit, but if you think of a bell curve, diesel's experience is way to the right. He has inspired and motivated many if us on here, but on day 2, you should be focused on getting through life on day 2. I am fortunate to not be at that extreme on the bell curve, and if you keep your word and post roll first thing in the morning you can do this. You will be able to drive past a 7-11 no problem. It will take a few days, maybe a bit longer, but you can do it.

If you post roll and keep your word. Have you posted roll in September today????

No post roll... No word to keep. No word to keep while the nicotine is whispering seductive thoughts in you ear on day 2 makes a right turn into 7-11 a lot easier to justify. Post roll dammit!! Let this work for you!

Not sure why my roll call didn't work this morning but I think I got it on there now. Thanks for checking on me. Yes, true, I need to worry about today and not months from now. Patience, patience.

Damn Deisel you had it bad. It reminds me of me for the 1st 2 months, but you sound like you were even worse. I am just lucky that you came before me and were willing to share with me how to get through it. I honestly do not know if I could have been successful without the investment you made in my quit.

Keep up the quit. And don't stop helping these noobs, you are damn good at it.

Ryan

[omahaflyer]

I think this thread is a great service to this community Diesel. Thanks for sharing.

x 2.

'clap' yep me too

[G]

I think this thread is a great service to this community Diesel. Thanks for sharing.

x 2.

[miles]

I think this thread is a great service to this community Diesel. Thanks for sharing.

[davemo]

Thanks for sharing Diesel.  I'm trying not to get freaked out about it though. I hope this doesn't happen to everyone!

I have a very pragmatic question about your anxiety issues. Are you dying for a dip amidst these moods or is that the last thing on your mind?

Right now, I'm completely obsessed with the hope that one day, my cravings will diminish and that I won't feel like gnawing on my arm without dip. If I have anxiety and depression, so be it. It's probably related to more than just dip for me anyway. For whatever reason, I'm less fearful of that. I just want to live free of living one step away from driving to 7-11. 

Anyway, good luck with everything. I hope you get some peace and quell all the after effects of our shared menace.

Don't worry. I think I'm just "lucky" with this ptsd thing. I've read a lot of stuff on here, but never anything about that. Think that's why I was so shocked by it.

Am I dying for a dip? Nope. Not one bit. I can beat a crave in 2.7 seconds, NOW..

When I first quit...I honestly believe every time I had a crave it came in the form of an anxiety attack. It literally was hell. The crave was bad but I honestly did not think I could live my life without dip. Flowers had no smell, food had no taste, my phone wrang I didn't answer, my email inbox had 1,000 unopened emails, I even questioned if I loved my own fucking kids. I was down and out, big time. Some of the thoughts in my head are unspeakable.

See, I'm not gonna bullshit here, I was a spoiled mother fucker growing up. Had a lot of stuff. My first car was a blue Z-28 my parents gave me. They paid for my college, books and spending money, they gave and did everything for me.

When I quit I had to do it by myself, well I had a lot of help from here and other resources but ultimately I was the one who had to do it.

I wanted so badly for someone else to quit for me, or tell me when I would be cured it drove me fucking ape shit. My mind and body were not used to this and I honestly believe that is why I struggled so much.

Why I didn't go back to the can, I have no idea. I vividly remember at one point my shrink considering if I should go back and ween myself back onto and off of chew again, or go for some nrt shit.

But, thanks to some great people, some meds and this site I dug down and stuck with it.

Don't let my story scare you. I'm a pussy. Let it inspire you that if a dumb ass goofball like myself can get through this shit, certainly YOU can too.

Everyone's journey is different, don't let my fucked up path influence you negatively.

You ever need anything, pm me anytime.

Dave,

Today I think is day 2 for you. On day 2 your mind plays all sorts of flicked up games. The nicotine is working its way out of your body and fighting every step of the way. There are a lot if different experiences that people feel as they progress on their quit, but if you think of a bell curve, diesel's experience is way to the right. He has inspired and motivated many if us on here, but on day 2, you should be focused on getting through life on day 2. I am fortunate to not be at that extreme on the bell curve, and if you keep your word and post roll first thing in the morning you can do this. You will be able to drive past a 7-11 no problem. It will take a few days, maybe a bit longer, but you can do it.

If you post roll and keep your word. Have you posted roll in September today????

No post roll... No word to keep. No word to keep while the nicotine is whispering seductive thoughts in you ear on day 2 makes a right turn into 7-11 a lot easier to justify. Post roll dammit!! Let this work for you!

Not sure why my roll call didn't work this morning but I think I got it on there now. Thanks for checking on me. Yes, true, I need to worry about today and not months from now. Patience, patience.

[worktowin]

Thanks for sharing Diesel.  I'm trying not to get freaked out about it though. I hope this doesn't happen to everyone!

I have a very pragmatic question about your anxiety issues. Are you dying for a dip amidst these moods or is that the last thing on your mind?

Right now, I'm completely obsessed with the hope that one day, my cravings will diminish and that I won't feel like gnawing on my arm without dip. If I have anxiety and depression, so be it. It's probably related to more than just dip for me anyway. For whatever reason, I'm less fearful of that. I just want to live free of living one step away from driving to 7-11. 

Anyway, good luck with everything. I hope you get some peace and quell all the after effects of our shared menace.

Don't worry. I think I'm just "lucky" with this ptsd thing. I've read a lot of stuff on here, but never anything about that. Think that's why I was so shocked by it.

Am I dying for a dip? Nope. Not one bit. I can beat a crave in 2.7 seconds, NOW..

When I first quit...I honestly believe every time I had a crave it came in the form of an anxiety attack. It literally was hell. The crave was bad but I honestly did not think I could live my life without dip. Flowers had no smell, food had no taste, my phone wrang I didn't answer, my email inbox had 1,000 unopened emails, I even questioned if I loved my own fucking kids. I was down and out, big time. Some of the thoughts in my head are unspeakable.

See, I'm not gonna bullshit here, I was a spoiled mother fucker growing up. Had a lot of stuff. My first car was a blue Z-28 my parents gave me. They paid for my college, books and spending money, they gave and did everything for me.

When I quit I had to do it by myself, well I had a lot of help from here and other resources but ultimately I was the one who had to do it.

I wanted so badly for someone else to quit for me, or tell me when I would be cured it drove me fucking ape shit. My mind and body were not used to this and I honestly believe that is why I struggled so much.

Why I didn't go back to the can, I have no idea. I vividly remember at one point my shrink considering if I should go back and ween myself back onto and off of chew again, or go for some nrt shit.

But, thanks to some great people, some meds and this site I dug down and stuck with it.

Don't let my story scare you. I'm a pussy. Let it inspire you that if a dumb ass goofball like myself can get through this shit, certainly YOU can too.

Everyone's journey is different, don't let my fucked up path influence you negatively.

You ever need anything, pm me anytime.

Dave,

Today I think is day 2 for you. On day 2 your mind plays all sorts of flicked up games. The nicotine is working its way out of your body and fighting every step of the way. There are a lot if different experiences that people feel as they progress on their quit, but if you think of a bell curve, diesel's experience is way to the right. He has inspired and motivated many if us on here, but on day 2, you should be focused on getting through life on day 2. I am fortunate to not be at that extreme on the bell curve, and if you keep your word and post roll first thing in the morning you can do this. You will be able to drive past a 7-11 no problem. It will take a few days, maybe a bit longer, but you can do it.

If you post roll and keep your word. Have you posted roll in September today????

No post roll... No word to keep. No word to keep while the nicotine is whispering seductive thoughts in you ear on day 2 makes a right turn into 7-11 a lot easier to justify. Post roll dammit!! Let this work for you!

[Diesel2112]

Thanks for sharing Diesel. I'm trying not to get freaked out about it though. I hope this doesn't happen to everyone!

I have a very pragmatic question about your anxiety issues. Are you dying for a dip amidst these moods or is that the last thing on your mind?

Right now, I'm completely obsessed with the hope that one day, my cravings will diminish and that I won't feel like gnawing on my arm without dip. If I have anxiety and depression, so be it. It's probably related to more than just dip for me anyway. For whatever reason, I'm less fearful of that. I just want to live free of living one step away from driving to 7-11.

Anyway, good luck with everything. I hope you get some peace and quell all the after effects of our shared menace.

Don't worry. I think I'm just "lucky" with this ptsd thing. I've read a lot of stuff on here, but never anything about that. Think that's why I was so shocked by it.

Am I dying for a dip? Nope. Not one bit. I can beat a crave in 2.7 seconds, NOW..

When I first quit...I honestly believe every time I had a crave it came in the form of an anxiety attack. It literally was hell. The crave was bad but I honestly did not think I could live my life without dip. Flowers had no smell, food had no taste, my phone wrang I didn't answer, my email inbox had 1,000 unopened emails, I even questioned if I loved my own fucking kids. I was down and out, big time. Some of the thoughts in my head are unspeakable.

See, I'm not gonna bullshit here, I was a spoiled mother fucker growing up. Had a lot of stuff. My first car was a blue Z-28 my parents gave me. They paid for my college, books and spending money, they gave and did everything for me.

When I quit I had to do it by myself, well I had a lot of help from here and other resources but ultimately I was the one who had to do it.

I wanted so badly for someone else to quit for me, or tell me when I would be cured it drove me fucking ape shit. My mind and body were not used to this and I honestly believe that is why I struggled so much.

Why I didn't go back to the can, I have no idea. I vividly remember at one point my shrink considering if I should go back and ween myself back onto and off of chew again, or go for some nrt shit.

But, thanks to some great people, some meds and this site I dug down and stuck with it.

Don't let my story scare you. I'm a pussy. Let it inspire you that if a dumb ass goofball like myself can get through this shit, certainly YOU can too.

Everyone's journey is different, don't let my fucked up path influence you negatively.

You ever need anything, pm me anytime.

[davemo]

Thanks for sharing Diesel. I'm trying not to get freaked out about it though. I hope this doesn't happen to everyone!

I have a very pragmatic question about your anxiety issues. Are you dying for a dip amidst these moods or is that the last thing on your mind?

Right now, I'm completely obsessed with the hope that one day, my cravings will diminish and that I won't feel like gnawing on my arm without dip. If I have anxiety and depression, so be it. It's probably related to more than just dip for me anyway. For whatever reason, I'm less fearful of that. I just want to live free of living one step away from driving to 7-11.

Anyway, good luck with everything. I hope you get some peace and quell all the after effects of our shared menace.

[jbradley]

Had been getting my ass kicked the past few weeks.  Out of nowhere...wild anxiety, near panic attacks, frightfulness...like I was back in the first few weeks.  I COULD NOT figure out why as my quit had been rolling strong.

So I went to see my shrink and was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder.  (Actually rustaf diagnosed me with it first in Anxiety and Depression part of the wild card section, guys a champ).

What the fuck.  I didn't even know that was possible.  Post traumatic stress disorder over a year after quitting chew???  FUCK!!!  Shrink said that I struggled so much with my quit last summer and was so traumatic to my brain and body that certain triggers like warmer weather, swimming in my pool, planning vacation, having the kids home from school, going to my daughters dance recital, etc...caused instant anxiety.  He said those events were such a struggle and so traumatic for me to get through last year, that on some level my brain was working like someone who had been a victim or rape, witnessed a tragic murder, or had been shot it War???  WHAT THE FUCK.  I Couldn't believe what I was hearing.   But he said that  it was my wondering THOUGHTS that were really fucking me, as beyond the pain in the ass anxiety, I THOUGHT I was going to go back to that place I was in last year.  A DARK place filled with panic, fear  and fucked up thoughts.  A place I NEVER want to go back to again.  He suggested I go back to my counselor, so I did.

Thank God.

She reminded me that the person I feared going back to really wasn't me at all.  It was a fucked up one time version of me who was fighting an addiction so powerful that is literally had me thinking like a crazy person in order to get me back on the can. 

But I didn't.  I fought my balls off, and have stayed away from that shit for 382 days now. 

That person I fear going back, wasn't me and is now dead.  How I couldn't see that without the help of this lady is beyond me, but it is true.

I feel great now.  Hurdle 6,765 cleared.

While this shit does get easier, be aware...their are big fucking 2 X 4's ready to smack you in the face at any time. 

Stay quit, you guys.

You're a fucking stud. Thanks for sharing this stuff.

I had bee hesitant to share this as I don't want to scare anyone and a tad embarasing to honest. But I figure if it helps one person, it would be worth it.

I deal with panic all the time lately. Any time I make the mistake of thinking towards the future. Past today is too much for me. Your a bad assed dude and I am glad you put this out there. It helps me to know that it can be normal! We fucked ourselves for decades! Of course we are gonna be traumatized. It doesn't mean we are broken. It means we are fixing ourselves! ODAAT! One anxiety stricken event at a time. It all adds up to a win! I definitely quit with you today!

Takes some big balls to lay it to here like that Diesel. Proud to be quit with you!