Diesel's Intro Page

[jaynellie]

400 days. 4th floor.  Weeeeee.

Its 8:00AM and I'm sitting in a lawn chair at Delasalle High School waiting to watch my 10 year old son start a 4 day football camp.

I'm one of very few parents staying to watch.  Most probably have real jobs...

They haven't hit the field yet as they are inside the gym getting instructions and tee shirts from the coaches.

400 days ago I would have been as happy as a clam to be sitting out here spewing brown slime into a bottle, hopping nobody noticed me.

Today I'm just happy to watch my son.  Nothing more. 

As it should be.

What a fool I used to be...

Awesome Diesel w the 4th floor we were all dumb asses operative word is were and we keep it that way ODAAT. Enjoy your time w your son today look around imprint this day in your mind. quit w you today

Thanks. I'm still a dumb ass though. Just one who isn't controlled by a poisonous drug.

Good stuff there Diesel... proud to be quit with you again today. Once again you've strengthened my quit by simply pointing out the obvious. I think sometimes that gets lost in the day to day actions of being quit. Thank you NAFAR!!!

[Diesel2112]

400 days. 4th floor.  Weeeeee.

Its 8:00AM and I'm sitting in a lawn chair at Delasalle High School waiting to watch my 10 year old son start a 4 day football camp.

I'm one of very few parents staying to watch.  Most probably have real jobs...

They haven't hit the field yet as they are inside the gym getting instructions and tee shirts from the coaches.

400 days ago I would have been as happy as a clam to be sitting out here spewing brown slime into a bottle, hopping nobody noticed me.

Today I'm just happy to watch my son.  Nothing more. 

As it should be.

What a fool I used to be...

Awesome Diesel w the 4th floor we were all dumb asses operative word is were and we keep it that way ODAAT. Enjoy your time w your son today look around imprint this day in your mind. quit w you today

Thanks. I'm still a dumb ass though. Just one who isn't controlled by a poisonous drug.

[traumagnet]

400 days. 4th floor. Weeeeee.

Its 8:00AM and I'm sitting in a lawn chair at Delasalle High School waiting to watch my 10 year old son start a 4 day football camp.

I'm one of very few parents staying to watch. Most probably have real jobs...

They haven't hit the field yet as they are inside the gym getting instructions and tee shirts from the coaches.

400 days ago I would have been as happy as a clam to be sitting out here spewing brown slime into a bottle, hopping nobody noticed me.

Today I'm just happy to watch my son. Nothing more.

As it should be.

What a fool I used to be...

Awesome Diesel w the 4th floor we were all dumb asses operative word is were and we keep it that way ODAAT. Enjoy your time w your son today look around imprint this day in your mind. quit w you today

[Diesel2112]

You have a real job.  Being a father.  From your description of your day you are being a great one. 

Good shit on 400 Diesel. Thank you for being Sept 2012 and helping me in with quit.

-p23

400 is awesome. Hope your son grows up to be a Husker recruit !

Maize and Blue...

[omahaflyer]

You have a real job. Being a father. From your description of your day you are being a great one.

Good shit on 400 Diesel. Thank you for being Sept 2012 and helping me in with quit.

-p23

400 is awesome. Hope your son grows up to be a Husker recruit !

[p23]

You have a real job. Being a father. From your description of your day you are being a great one.

Good shit on 400 Diesel. Thank you for being Sept 2012 and helping me in with quit.

-p23

[Diesel2112]

400 days. 4th floor. Weeeeee.

Its 8:00AM and I'm sitting in a lawn chair at Delasalle High School waiting to watch my 10 year old son start a 4 day football camp.

I'm one of very few parents staying to watch. Most probably have real jobs...

They haven't hit the field yet as they are inside the gym getting instructions and tee shirts from the coaches.

400 days ago I would have been as happy as a clam to be sitting out here spewing brown slime into a bottle, hopping nobody noticed me.

Today I'm just happy to watch my son. Nothing more.

As it should be.

What a fool I used to be...

[kana]

Just sick of it all.  Trips to the shrink,  meetings with a councelor,  meds fucking up my head.  Tears as I try and drag myself out of bed some days.   Assholes next store pratying it up smoking like chimneys as I sat here sipping a slurpee.  4th of July...blahhhh.  Family vacation up in Northern Michigan...blahhh.  My life un general right now...blahhh.  I'm functioning but that's about it. 

I swear to God if I EVER get out of this shit fuck of a rut I'm in right now,  next year I will be the most full of life loving mother fucker the world has ever seen.  Ill be shooting fireworks out my ass next 4th of July.  Ill motor boat my councelors milk pillows if she gets me through this and decide I don't need to see her anymore. I'll stick these meds up my shrinks ass with my foot.  Ill be up at the but crack of dawn cooking breakfast for my family next summer vacation,  then will drive 400 miles to find the funnest thing to do to make my 7 yr old daughter laugh. 

Here's the kicker I recently realized though.  I THOUGHT I was that guy before I quit...but I wasn't.  I was a low life lazy ass piece of shit.  I wasn't "Joe Fun".  I ninjas dipped all day at work then came home,  rolled into bed and slept til about 6:00.  Kids came in to ask for help with homework,  I told them I didn't feel good and ask mom.  Finally id get up,  yell at wife for crappy dinner,  snap at kids for no reason and count down time the kids went to bed so I could sneak out and get my goodnight dip in.  Then hopped up on dip fuel id stay up tip 2am and start the process all over again.

Sure I coached my kids in baseball,  basketball and football.  Was in the men's club and sports committee for their school but at the core of it all I was a scumbag.  A liar.  A fake.  A phony.  A piece of total and utter shit.  Recently my Dad said " of all the people in the world I never would have guessed you could have had a secret like that."  So add coward to the list as well.

I guess instead of f bombing everything and everyone else.  I need to say FUCK YOU to ME.  I'm not dead though.  This story is not fully written.

Bumping the above , which came from a dark place nearly a year ago...

Today...

Got up early this morning to play some hoops, didn't have any tears of take any AD meds to make it there. Shot a Roman candle out my ass tonight.

Haven't quite pulled the motor boat trigger, YET. Vacation in a couple weeks....

Still alive and still writing this story.

Quite a difference a year makes.

Stick with it boys and girls. Things get better.

I promise.

BOOOOOOM!!, (As Clean Fuel would say). Thanks for bumping Diesel, keep fighting the good fight.

Wow. This is an inspiring thread. Congrats

That's awesome brother. Congratulations on such a power journey.

Good for you, enjoy your freedom brother !

I remember each of those days that have lead us to where we are today. Lmao now at how we cried like little girls when our bodies were withdrawing from years of slavery. You are one bad ass quitter.

"Shot a Roman candle out my ass tonight"

Pure badassery....FU Diesel!

What a complete bad ass inspiration you have become. Glad as hell I get to follow people like you! I quit with you because your the definition of a KTC BAD ASS!

Simply Out-Fucking-Standing!!!

KA-POWWWWW

You are the man deez! Inspiration to us all.

We've witnessed your transformation, talk about a journey. proud to be quit with you every damn day...

[Adigg]

Just sick of it all.  Trips to the shrink,  meetings with a councelor,  meds fucking up my head.  Tears as I try and drag myself out of bed some days.   Assholes next store pratying it up smoking like chimneys as I sat here sipping a slurpee.  4th of July...blahhhh.  Family vacation up in Northern Michigan...blahhh.  My life un general right now...blahhh.  I'm functioning but that's about it. 

I swear to God if I EVER get out of this shit fuck of a rut I'm in right now,  next year I will be the most full of life loving mother fucker the world has ever seen.  Ill be shooting fireworks out my ass next 4th of July.  Ill motor boat my councelors milk pillows if she gets me through this and decide I don't need to see her anymore. I'll stick these meds up my shrinks ass with my foot.  Ill be up at the but crack of dawn cooking breakfast for my family next summer vacation,  then will drive 400 miles to find the funnest thing to do to make my 7 yr old daughter laugh. 

Here's the kicker I recently realized though.  I THOUGHT I was that guy before I quit...but I wasn't.  I was a low life lazy ass piece of shit.  I wasn't "Joe Fun".  I ninjas dipped all day at work then came home,  rolled into bed and slept til about 6:00.  Kids came in to ask for help with homework,  I told them I didn't feel good and ask mom.  Finally id get up,  yell at wife for crappy dinner,  snap at kids for no reason and count down time the kids went to bed so I could sneak out and get my goodnight dip in.  Then hopped up on dip fuel id stay up tip 2am and start the process all over again.

Sure I coached my kids in baseball,  basketball and football.  Was in the men's club and sports committee for their school but at the core of it all I was a scumbag.  A liar.  A fake.  A phony.  A piece of total and utter shit.  Recently my Dad said " of all the people in the world I never would have guessed you could have had a secret like that."  So add coward to the list as well.

I guess instead of f bombing everything and everyone else.  I need to say FUCK YOU to ME.  I'm not dead though.  This story is not fully written.

Bumping the above , which came from a dark place nearly a year ago...

Today...

Got up early this morning to play some hoops, didn't have any tears of take any AD meds to make it there. Shot a Roman candle out my ass tonight.

Haven't quite pulled the motor boat trigger, YET. Vacation in a couple weeks....

Still alive and still writing this story.

Quite a difference a year makes.

Stick with it boys and girls. Things get better.

I promise.

BOOOOOOM!!, (As Clean Fuel would say). Thanks for bumping Diesel, keep fighting the good fight.

Wow. This is an inspiring thread. Congrats

That's awesome brother. Congratulations on such a power journey.

Good for you, enjoy your freedom brother !

I remember each of those days that have lead us to where we are today. Lmao now at how we cried like little girls when our bodies were withdrawing from years of slavery. You are one bad ass quitter.

"Shot a Roman candle out my ass tonight"

Pure badassery....FU Diesel!

What a complete bad ass inspiration you have become. Glad as hell I get to follow people like you! I quit with you because your the definition of a KTC BAD ASS!

Simply Out-Fucking-Standing!!!

KA-POWWWWW

You are the man deez! Inspiration to us all.

[CleanFuel]

Just sick of it all.  Trips to the shrink,  meetings with a councelor,  meds fucking up my head.  Tears as I try and drag myself out of bed some days.   Assholes next store pratying it up smoking like chimneys as I sat here sipping a slurpee.  4th of July...blahhhh.  Family vacation up in Northern Michigan...blahhh.  My life un general right now...blahhh.  I'm functioning but that's about it. 

I swear to God if I EVER get out of this shit fuck of a rut I'm in right now,  next year I will be the most full of life loving mother fucker the world has ever seen.  Ill be shooting fireworks out my ass next 4th of July.  Ill motor boat my councelors milk pillows if she gets me through this and decide I don't need to see her anymore. I'll stick these meds up my shrinks ass with my foot.  Ill be up at the but crack of dawn cooking breakfast for my family next summer vacation,  then will drive 400 miles to find the funnest thing to do to make my 7 yr old daughter laugh. 

Here's the kicker I recently realized though.  I THOUGHT I was that guy before I quit...but I wasn't.  I was a low life lazy ass piece of shit.  I wasn't "Joe Fun".  I ninjas dipped all day at work then came home,  rolled into bed and slept til about 6:00.  Kids came in to ask for help with homework,  I told them I didn't feel good and ask mom.  Finally id get up,  yell at wife for crappy dinner,  snap at kids for no reason and count down time the kids went to bed so I could sneak out and get my goodnight dip in.  Then hopped up on dip fuel id stay up tip 2am and start the process all over again.

Sure I coached my kids in baseball,  basketball and football.  Was in the men's club and sports committee for their school but at the core of it all I was a scumbag.  A liar.  A fake.  A phony.  A piece of total and utter shit.  Recently my Dad said " of all the people in the world I never would have guessed you could have had a secret like that."  So add coward to the list as well.

I guess instead of f bombing everything and everyone else.  I need to say FUCK YOU to ME.  I'm not dead though.  This story is not fully written.

Bumping the above , which came from a dark place nearly a year ago...

Today...

Got up early this morning to play some hoops, didn't have any tears of take any AD meds to make it there. Shot a Roman candle out my ass tonight.

Haven't quite pulled the motor boat trigger, YET. Vacation in a couple weeks....

Still alive and still writing this story.

Quite a difference a year makes.

Stick with it boys and girls. Things get better.

I promise.

BOOOOOOM!!, (As Clean Fuel would say). Thanks for bumping Diesel, keep fighting the good fight.

Wow. This is an inspiring thread. Congrats

That's awesome brother. Congratulations on such a power journey.

Good for you, enjoy your freedom brother !

I remember each of those days that have lead us to where we are today. Lmao now at how we cried like little girls when our bodies were withdrawing from years of slavery. You are one bad ass quitter.

"Shot a Roman candle out my ass tonight"

Pure badassery....FU Diesel!

What a complete bad ass inspiration you have become. Glad as hell I get to follow people like you! I quit with you because your the definition of a KTC BAD ASS!

Simply Out-Fucking-Standing!!!

KA-POWWWWW

[Erussell]

Just sick of it all.  Trips to the shrink,  meetings with a councelor,  meds fucking up my head.  Tears as I try and drag myself out of bed some days.   Assholes next store pratying it up smoking like chimneys as I sat here sipping a slurpee.  4th of July...blahhhh.  Family vacation up in Northern Michigan...blahhh.  My life un general right now...blahhh.  I'm functioning but that's about it. 

I swear to God if I EVER get out of this shit fuck of a rut I'm in right now,  next year I will be the most full of life loving mother fucker the world has ever seen.  Ill be shooting fireworks out my ass next 4th of July.  Ill motor boat my councelors milk pillows if she gets me through this and decide I don't need to see her anymore. I'll stick these meds up my shrinks ass with my foot.  Ill be up at the but crack of dawn cooking breakfast for my family next summer vacation,  then will drive 400 miles to find the funnest thing to do to make my 7 yr old daughter laugh. 

Here's the kicker I recently realized though.  I THOUGHT I was that guy before I quit...but I wasn't.  I was a low life lazy ass piece of shit.  I wasn't "Joe Fun".  I ninjas dipped all day at work then came home,  rolled into bed and slept til about 6:00.  Kids came in to ask for help with homework,  I told them I didn't feel good and ask mom.  Finally id get up,  yell at wife for crappy dinner,  snap at kids for no reason and count down time the kids went to bed so I could sneak out and get my goodnight dip in.  Then hopped up on dip fuel id stay up tip 2am and start the process all over again.

Sure I coached my kids in baseball,  basketball and football.  Was in the men's club and sports committee for their school but at the core of it all I was a scumbag.  A liar.  A fake.  A phony.  A piece of total and utter shit.  Recently my Dad said " of all the people in the world I never would have guessed you could have had a secret like that."  So add coward to the list as well.

I guess instead of f bombing everything and everyone else.  I need to say FUCK YOU to ME.  I'm not dead though.  This story is not fully written.

Bumping the above , which came from a dark place nearly a year ago...

Today...

Got up early this morning to play some hoops, didn't have any tears of take any AD meds to make it there. Shot a Roman candle out my ass tonight.

Haven't quite pulled the motor boat trigger, YET. Vacation in a couple weeks....

Still alive and still writing this story.

Quite a difference a year makes.

Stick with it boys and girls. Things get better.

I promise.

BOOOOOOM!!, (As Clean Fuel would say). Thanks for bumping Diesel, keep fighting the good fight.

Wow. This is an inspiring thread. Congrats

That's awesome brother. Congratulations on such a power journey.

Good for you, enjoy your freedom brother !

I remember each of those days that have lead us to where we are today. Lmao now at how we cried like little girls when our bodies were withdrawing from years of slavery. You are one bad ass quitter.

"Shot a Roman candle out my ass tonight"

Pure badassery....FU Diesel!

What a complete bad ass inspiration you have become. Glad as hell I get to follow people like you! I quit with you because your the definition of a KTC BAD ASS!

[Coach Steve]

Just sick of it all.  Trips to the shrink,  meetings with a councelor,  meds fucking up my head.  Tears as I try and drag myself out of bed some days.   Assholes next store pratying it up smoking like chimneys as I sat here sipping a slurpee.  4th of July...blahhhh.  Family vacation up in Northern Michigan...blahhh.  My life un general right now...blahhh.  I'm functioning but that's about it. 

I swear to God if I EVER get out of this shit fuck of a rut I'm in right now,  next year I will be the most full of life loving mother fucker the world has ever seen.  Ill be shooting fireworks out my ass next 4th of July.  Ill motor boat my councelors milk pillows if she gets me through this and decide I don't need to see her anymore. I'll stick these meds up my shrinks ass with my foot.  Ill be up at the but crack of dawn cooking breakfast for my family next summer vacation,  then will drive 400 miles to find the funnest thing to do to make my 7 yr old daughter laugh. 

Here's the kicker I recently realized though.  I THOUGHT I was that guy before I quit...but I wasn't.  I was a low life lazy ass piece of shit.  I wasn't "Joe Fun".  I ninjas dipped all day at work then came home,  rolled into bed and slept til about 6:00.  Kids came in to ask for help with homework,  I told them I didn't feel good and ask mom.  Finally id get up,  yell at wife for crappy dinner,  snap at kids for no reason and count down time the kids went to bed so I could sneak out and get my goodnight dip in.  Then hopped up on dip fuel id stay up tip 2am and start the process all over again.

Sure I coached my kids in baseball,  basketball and football.  Was in the men's club and sports committee for their school but at the core of it all I was a scumbag.  A liar.  A fake.  A phony.  A piece of total and utter shit.  Recently my Dad said " of all the people in the world I never would have guessed you could have had a secret like that."  So add coward to the list as well.

I guess instead of f bombing everything and everyone else.  I need to say FUCK YOU to ME.  I'm not dead though.  This story is not fully written.

Bumping the above , which came from a dark place nearly a year ago...

Today...

Got up early this morning to play some hoops, didn't have any tears of take any AD meds to make it there. Shot a Roman candle out my ass tonight.

Haven't quite pulled the motor boat trigger, YET. Vacation in a couple weeks....

Still alive and still writing this story.

Quite a difference a year makes.

Stick with it boys and girls. Things get better.

I promise.

BOOOOOOM!!, (As Clean Fuel would say). Thanks for bumping Diesel, keep fighting the good fight.

Wow. This is an inspiring thread. Congrats

That's awesome brother. Congratulations on such a power journey.

Good for you, enjoy your freedom brother !

I remember each of those days that have lead us to where we are today. Lmao now at how we cried like little girls when our bodies were withdrawing from years of slavery. You are one bad ass quitter.

"Shot a Roman candle out my ass tonight"

Pure badassery....FU Diesel!

[Wt57]

Just sick of it all.  Trips to the shrink,  meetings with a councelor,  meds fucking up my head.  Tears as I try and drag myself out of bed some days.   Assholes next store pratying it up smoking like chimneys as I sat here sipping a slurpee.  4th of July...blahhhh.  Family vacation up in Northern Michigan...blahhh.  My life un general right now...blahhh.  I'm functioning but that's about it. 

I swear to God if I EVER get out of this shit fuck of a rut I'm in right now,  next year I will be the most full of life loving mother fucker the world has ever seen.  Ill be shooting fireworks out my ass next 4th of July.  Ill motor boat my councelors milk pillows if she gets me through this and decide I don't need to see her anymore. I'll stick these meds up my shrinks ass with my foot.  Ill be up at the but crack of dawn cooking breakfast for my family next summer vacation,  then will drive 400 miles to find the funnest thing to do to make my 7 yr old daughter laugh. 

Here's the kicker I recently realized though.  I THOUGHT I was that guy before I quit...but I wasn't.  I was a low life lazy ass piece of shit.  I wasn't "Joe Fun".  I ninjas dipped all day at work then came home,  rolled into bed and slept til about 6:00.  Kids came in to ask for help with homework,  I told them I didn't feel good and ask mom.  Finally id get up,  yell at wife for crappy dinner,  snap at kids for no reason and count down time the kids went to bed so I could sneak out and get my goodnight dip in.  Then hopped up on dip fuel id stay up tip 2am and start the process all over again.

Sure I coached my kids in baseball,  basketball and football.  Was in the men's club and sports committee for their school but at the core of it all I was a scumbag.  A liar.  A fake.  A phony.  A piece of total and utter shit.  Recently my Dad said " of all the people in the world I never would have guessed you could have had a secret like that."  So add coward to the list as well.

I guess instead of f bombing everything and everyone else.  I need to say FUCK YOU to ME.  I'm not dead though.  This story is not fully written.

Bumping the above , which came from a dark place nearly a year ago...

Today...

Got up early this morning to play some hoops, didn't have any tears of take any AD meds to make it there. Shot a Roman candle out my ass tonight.

Haven't quite pulled the motor boat trigger, YET. Vacation in a couple weeks....

Still alive and still writing this story.

Quite a difference a year makes.

Stick with it boys and girls. Things get better.

I promise.

BOOOOOOM!!, (As Clean Fuel would say). Thanks for bumping Diesel, keep fighting the good fight.

Wow. This is an inspiring thread. Congrats

That's awesome brother. Congratulations on such a power journey.

Good for you, enjoy your freedom brother !

I remember each of those days that have lead us to where we are today. Lmao now at how we cried like little girls when our bodies were withdrawing from years of slavery. You are one bad ass quitter.

[kana]

Just sick of it all.  Trips to the shrink,  meetings with a councelor,  meds fucking up my head.  Tears as I try and drag myself out of bed some days.   Assholes next store pratying it up smoking like chimneys as I sat here sipping a slurpee.  4th of July...blahhhh.  Family vacation up in Northern Michigan...blahhh.  My life un general right now...blahhh.  I'm functioning but that's about it. 

I swear to God if I EVER get out of this shit fuck of a rut I'm in right now,  next year I will be the most full of life loving mother fucker the world has ever seen.  Ill be shooting fireworks out my ass next 4th of July.  Ill motor boat my councelors milk pillows if she gets me through this and decide I don't need to see her anymore. I'll stick these meds up my shrinks ass with my foot.  Ill be up at the but crack of dawn cooking breakfast for my family next summer vacation,  then will drive 400 miles to find the funnest thing to do to make my 7 yr old daughter laugh. 

Here's the kicker I recently realized though.  I THOUGHT I was that guy before I quit...but I wasn't.  I was a low life lazy ass piece of shit.  I wasn't "Joe Fun".  I ninjas dipped all day at work then came home,  rolled into bed and slept til about 6:00.  Kids came in to ask for help with homework,  I told them I didn't feel good and ask mom.  Finally id get up,  yell at wife for crappy dinner,  snap at kids for no reason and count down time the kids went to bed so I could sneak out and get my goodnight dip in.  Then hopped up on dip fuel id stay up tip 2am and start the process all over again.

Sure I coached my kids in baseball,  basketball and football.  Was in the men's club and sports committee for their school but at the core of it all I was a scumbag.  A liar.  A fake.  A phony.  A piece of total and utter shit.  Recently my Dad said " of all the people in the world I never would have guessed you could have had a secret like that."  So add coward to the list as well.

I guess instead of f bombing everything and everyone else.  I need to say FUCK YOU to ME.  I'm not dead though.  This story is not fully written.

Bumping the above , which came from a dark place nearly a year ago...

Today...

Got up early this morning to play some hoops, didn't have any tears of take any AD meds to make it there. Shot a Roman candle out my ass tonight.

Haven't quite pulled the motor boat trigger, YET. Vacation in a couple weeks....

Still alive and still writing this story.

Quite a difference a year makes.

Stick with it boys and girls. Things get better.

I promise.

BOOOOOOM!!, (As Clean Fuel would say). Thanks for bumping Diesel, keep fighting the good fight.

Wow. This is an inspiring thread. Congrats

That's awesome brother. Congratulations on such a power journey.

Good for you, enjoy your freedom brother !

We've witnessed your transformation, talk about a journey. proud to be quit with you every damn day...

[omahaflyer]

Just sick of it all.  Trips to the shrink,  meetings with a councelor,  meds fucking up my head.  Tears as I try and drag myself out of bed some days.   Assholes next store pratying it up smoking like chimneys as I sat here sipping a slurpee.  4th of July...blahhhh.  Family vacation up in Northern Michigan...blahhh.  My life un general right now...blahhh.  I'm functioning but that's about it. 

I swear to God if I EVER get out of this shit fuck of a rut I'm in right now,  next year I will be the most full of life loving mother fucker the world has ever seen.  Ill be shooting fireworks out my ass next 4th of July.  Ill motor boat my councelors milk pillows if she gets me through this and decide I don't need to see her anymore. I'll stick these meds up my shrinks ass with my foot.  Ill be up at the but crack of dawn cooking breakfast for my family next summer vacation,  then will drive 400 miles to find the funnest thing to do to make my 7 yr old daughter laugh. 

Here's the kicker I recently realized though.  I THOUGHT I was that guy before I quit...but I wasn't.  I was a low life lazy ass piece of shit.  I wasn't "Joe Fun".  I ninjas dipped all day at work then came home,  rolled into bed and slept til about 6:00.  Kids came in to ask for help with homework,  I told them I didn't feel good and ask mom.  Finally id get up,  yell at wife for crappy dinner,  snap at kids for no reason and count down time the kids went to bed so I could sneak out and get my goodnight dip in.  Then hopped up on dip fuel id stay up tip 2am and start the process all over again.

Sure I coached my kids in baseball,  basketball and football.  Was in the men's club and sports committee for their school but at the core of it all I was a scumbag.  A liar.  A fake.  A phony.  A piece of total and utter shit.  Recently my Dad said " of all the people in the world I never would have guessed you could have had a secret like that."  So add coward to the list as well.

I guess instead of f bombing everything and everyone else.  I need to say FUCK YOU to ME.  I'm not dead though.  This story is not fully written.

Bumping the above , which came from a dark place nearly a year ago...

Today...

Got up early this morning to play some hoops, didn't have any tears of take any AD meds to make it there. Shot a Roman candle out my ass tonight.

Haven't quite pulled the motor boat trigger, YET. Vacation in a couple weeks....

Still alive and still writing this story.

Quite a difference a year makes.

Stick with it boys and girls. Things get better.

I promise.

BOOOOOOM!!, (As Clean Fuel would say). Thanks for bumping Diesel, keep fighting the good fight.

Wow. This is an inspiring thread. Congrats

That's awesome brother. Congratulations on such a power journey.

Good for you, enjoy your freedom brother !