Diesel's Intro Page

[Diesel2112]

Almost six months in now and for the last three days anxiety and depression are kicking my ass...worst I've ever felt. No craves of any significance, just this feeling that my chest is going to explode. Sure, I'm losing my job and I spend way too much time worrying about three nearly grown kids, but there's not a person here that doesn't have some shit to deal with. Been "self medicating" with alcohol most of my adult life, haven't exercised seriously in years and just celebrated my 64th birthday. Wondering if what I'm going through really has anything to do with quitting dip. Any insights guys?

First off I'm no doctor but I would venture to guess that after 6 months dip wouldn't Be the MAIN factor. Sounds like life has put a lot of shit on you're plate. My advice would to see a doctor and perhaps he could recommend a psychologist / psychiatrist for either some meds or talk therapy. (Talk therapy worked waaaaay more then I ever imagined). That combo has worked wonders for me, but all my problems were related to quitting dip. Everyones situation is different but I would highly recommend seeing a doctor.

Just my 2 cents...best of luck!!!!

[dukedog]

Almost six months in now and for the last three days anxiety and depression are kicking my ass...worst I've ever felt. No craves of any significance, just this feeling that my chest is going to explode. Sure, I'm losing my job and I spend way too much time worrying about three nearly grown kids, but there's not a person here that doesn't have some shit to deal with. Been "self medicating" with alcohol most of my adult life, haven't exercised seriously in years and just celebrated my 64th birthday. Wondering if what I'm going through really has anything to do with quitting dip. Any insights guys?

[Roamcountry]

Sorry its Skoal MONSTER not Master, but the book was a good read.  Thanks again!

You're right though.  One of my biggest problems has been looking for the "end date" for my quit.  Perhaps because I feel like I'm being punished,  and when u get punished there is a set time when your punishment is over.  Kind of like when I was a kid and got grounded....for say 3 days.   It sucked,  but at least I knew that after 3 days I would be "free" again, my lesson would be learned, and "normal life" would return.

This shit don't work like that and I COULD NOT ACCEPT THAT.  I literally could not wrap my brain around that concept and although after 58 days I'm getting better at it,  I still struggle with it.  Some days I feel on top and in control.  Other days I feel like a ping pong ball at the Olympics getting smashed around.  This is a process though and I must keep that in mind.

FREEDOM from addiction is my ultimate goal and although there's no true timetable for it,  ive got a decent jump on it and I'm not about to fuck it up now.

Wow! You may not recognize the change diesel but I do! You sound like a completely different person than just a few weeks ago!! I'm proud to be on this journey with you.

Thanks WT. Got some new anxiety meds that actually work!!! Feeling much better physically now. Makes a difference on attitude as well.

Staying in control is mental. Whittle the problem down to something you can wrap your head around...one day at a time.

All that matters is today. Don't think about the future...not tomorrow or next week or next year. Just focus on today. Quitting is done one day at a time.

You got this, bro. I hate that you're taking pills, but I love that you are taking your quit so seriously that you were pro-active to get what you need to stay nic free.

PM me and I'll send my digits if you need them. But remember, I'm no trained therapist or anything...just a fellow quitter like you.

I don't want to come across as an ass but I'm sick of people acting like taking antidepressants or anti-anxiety meds is a bad thing! Sometimes there are those of us that have chemical imbalances that can only be handled with meds!! I can't tell you how many times I've had people tell me to just man up and live with my depression. Those comments only made the situation worse because I felt like even a bigger failure because I literally Couldn't do it! Diesel again you don't even resemble the raging loon you first were! Some might say that was just a nic rage, I say BS. Anxiety, panic attacts and depression are all dangerous medical conditions that need to be taken seriously. Sometimes meds are the only way to deal with it! You wouldn't take insulin from a diabetic and say man up, or tell him sorry you are depending on a drug. Ok my rant and rage are over and I feel better! Diesel I quit with you today.

Good points. The important thing is staying quit and staying healthy. I'm quit with Diesel and WT...and all you other bad asses.

My body literally couldn't handle no nic. I tried like hell to get through it but could not as the anxiety was just too much...i was a physical and mental mess. I don't like being on meds either but you gotta do what you gotta do. Medicine plus talk therapy has really been helping me. My ultimate goal is to kick and handle this shit med free and am looking at the med route as short term. But as of now its really helping.

Every persons different, not only with their quit but with overall life experiences. Meds or no meds it don't matter as long as you're happy, productive and QUIT. That's my opinion anyway.

Agreed. Stay strong, stay quit.

Glad you're getting the help you need Diesel, meds or no meds makes no difference in my book. I had to have them for a time myself. Good job brother!

[Bean]

Sorry its Skoal MONSTER not Master, but the book was a good read.  Thanks again!

You're right though.  One of my biggest problems has been looking for the "end date" for my quit.  Perhaps because I feel like I'm being punished,  and when u get punished there is a set time when your punishment is over.  Kind of like when I was a kid and got grounded....for say 3 days.   It sucked,  but at least I knew that after 3 days I would be "free" again, my lesson would be learned, and "normal life" would return.

This shit don't work like that and I COULD NOT ACCEPT THAT.  I literally could not wrap my brain around that concept and although after 58 days I'm getting better at it,  I still struggle with it.  Some days I feel on top and in control.  Other days I feel like a ping pong ball at the Olympics getting smashed around.  This is a process though and I must keep that in mind.

FREEDOM from addiction is my ultimate goal and although there's no true timetable for it,  ive got a decent jump on it and I'm not about to fuck it up now.

Wow! You may not recognize the change diesel but I do! You sound like a completely different person than just a few weeks ago!! I'm proud to be on this journey with you.

Thanks WT. Got some new anxiety meds that actually work!!! Feeling much better physically now. Makes a difference on attitude as well.

Staying in control is mental. Whittle the problem down to something you can wrap your head around...one day at a time.

All that matters is today. Don't think about the future...not tomorrow or next week or next year. Just focus on today. Quitting is done one day at a time.

You got this, bro. I hate that you're taking pills, but I love that you are taking your quit so seriously that you were pro-active to get what you need to stay nic free.

PM me and I'll send my digits if you need them. But remember, I'm no trained therapist or anything...just a fellow quitter like you.

I don't want to come across as an ass but I'm sick of people acting like taking antidepressants or anti-anxiety meds is a bad thing! Sometimes there are those of us that have chemical imbalances that can only be handled with meds!! I can't tell you how many times I've had people tell me to just man up and live with my depression. Those comments only made the situation worse because I felt like even a bigger failure because I literally Couldn't do it! Diesel again you don't even resemble the raging loon you first were! Some might say that was just a nic rage, I say BS. Anxiety, panic attacts and depression are all dangerous medical conditions that need to be taken seriously. Sometimes meds are the only way to deal with it! You wouldn't take insulin from a diabetic and say man up, or tell him sorry you are depending on a drug. Ok my rant and rage are over and I feel better! Diesel I quit with you today.

Good points. The important thing is staying quit and staying healthy. I'm quit with Diesel and WT...and all you other bad asses.

My body literally couldn't handle no nic. I tried like hell to get through it but could not as the anxiety was just too much...i was a physical and mental mess. I don't like being on meds either but you gotta do what you gotta do. Medicine plus talk therapy has really been helping me. My ultimate goal is to kick and handle this shit med free and am looking at the med route as short term. But as of now its really helping.

Every persons different, not only with their quit but with overall life experiences. Meds or no meds it don't matter as long as you're happy, productive and QUIT. That's my opinion anyway.

Agreed. Stay strong, stay quit.

[Diesel2112]

Sorry its Skoal MONSTER not Master, but the book was a good read.  Thanks again!

You're right though.  One of my biggest problems has been looking for the "end date" for my quit.  Perhaps because I feel like I'm being punished,  and when u get punished there is a set time when your punishment is over.  Kind of like when I was a kid and got grounded....for say 3 days.   It sucked,  but at least I knew that after 3 days I would be "free" again, my lesson would be learned, and "normal life" would return.

This shit don't work like that and I COULD NOT ACCEPT THAT.  I literally could not wrap my brain around that concept and although after 58 days I'm getting better at it,  I still struggle with it.  Some days I feel on top and in control.  Other days I feel like a ping pong ball at the Olympics getting smashed around.  This is a process though and I must keep that in mind.

FREEDOM from addiction is my ultimate goal and although there's no true timetable for it,  ive got a decent jump on it and I'm not about to fuck it up now.

Wow! You may not recognize the change diesel but I do! You sound like a completely different person than just a few weeks ago!! I'm proud to be on this journey with you.

Thanks WT. Got some new anxiety meds that actually work!!! Feeling much better physically now. Makes a difference on attitude as well.

Staying in control is mental. Whittle the problem down to something you can wrap your head around...one day at a time.

All that matters is today. Don't think about the future...not tomorrow or next week or next year. Just focus on today. Quitting is done one day at a time.

You got this, bro. I hate that you're taking pills, but I love that you are taking your quit so seriously that you were pro-active to get what you need to stay nic free.

PM me and I'll send my digits if you need them. But remember, I'm no trained therapist or anything...just a fellow quitter like you.

I don't want to come across as an ass but I'm sick of people acting like taking antidepressants or anti-anxiety meds is a bad thing! Sometimes there are those of us that have chemical imbalances that can only be handled with meds!! I can't tell you how many times I've had people tell me to just man up and live with my depression. Those comments only made the situation worse because I felt like even a bigger failure because I literally Couldn't do it! Diesel again you don't even resemble the raging loon you first were! Some might say that was just a nic rage, I say BS. Anxiety, panic attacts and depression are all dangerous medical conditions that need to be taken seriously. Sometimes meds are the only way to deal with it! You wouldn't take insulin from a diabetic and say man up, or tell him sorry you are depending on a drug. Ok my rant and rage are over and I feel better! Diesel I quit with you today.

Good points. The important thing is staying quit and staying healthy. I'm quit with Diesel and WT...and all you other bad asses.

My body literally couldn't handle no nic. I tried like hell to get through it but could not as the anxiety was just too much...i was a physical and mental mess. I don't like being on meds either but you gotta do what you gotta do. Medicine plus talk therapy has really been helping me. My ultimate goal is to kick and handle this shit med free and am looking at the med route as short term. But as of now its really helping.

Every persons different, not only with their quit but with overall life experiences. Meds or no meds it don't matter as long as you're happy, productive and QUIT. That's my opinion anyway.

[Bean]

Sorry its Skoal MONSTER not Master, but the book was a good read.  Thanks again!

You're right though.  One of my biggest problems has been looking for the "end date" for my quit.  Perhaps because I feel like I'm being punished,  and when u get punished there is a set time when your punishment is over.  Kind of like when I was a kid and got grounded....for say 3 days.   It sucked,  but at least I knew that after 3 days I would be "free" again, my lesson would be learned, and "normal life" would return.

This shit don't work like that and I COULD NOT ACCEPT THAT.  I literally could not wrap my brain around that concept and although after 58 days I'm getting better at it,  I still struggle with it.  Some days I feel on top and in control.  Other days I feel like a ping pong ball at the Olympics getting smashed around.  This is a process though and I must keep that in mind.

FREEDOM from addiction is my ultimate goal and although there's no true timetable for it,  ive got a decent jump on it and I'm not about to fuck it up now.

Wow! You may not recognize the change diesel but I do! You sound like a completely different person than just a few weeks ago!! I'm proud to be on this journey with you.

Thanks WT. Got some new anxiety meds that actually work!!! Feeling much better physically now. Makes a difference on attitude as well.

Staying in control is mental. Whittle the problem down to something you can wrap your head around...one day at a time.

All that matters is today. Don't think about the future...not tomorrow or next week or next year. Just focus on today. Quitting is done one day at a time.

You got this, bro. I hate that you're taking pills, but I love that you are taking your quit so seriously that you were pro-active to get what you need to stay nic free.

PM me and I'll send my digits if you need them. But remember, I'm no trained therapist or anything...just a fellow quitter like you.

I don't want to come across as an ass but I'm sick of people acting like taking antidepressants or anti-anxiety meds is a bad thing! Sometimes there are those of us that have chemical imbalances that can only be handled with meds!! I can't tell you how many times I've had people tell me to just man up and live with my depression. Those comments only made the situation worse because I felt like even a bigger failure because I literally Couldn't do it! Diesel again you don't even resemble the raging loon you first were! Some might say that was just a nic rage, I say BS. Anxiety, panic attacts and depression are all dangerous medical conditions that need to be taken seriously. Sometimes meds are the only way to deal with it! You wouldn't take insulin from a diabetic and say man up, or tell him sorry you are depending on a drug. Ok my rant and rage are over and I feel better! Diesel I quit with you today.

Good points. The important thing is staying quit and staying healthy. I'm quit with Diesel and WT...and all you other bad asses.

[Wt57]

Sorry its Skoal MONSTER not Master, but the book was a good read.  Thanks again!

You're right though.  One of my biggest problems has been looking for the "end date" for my quit.  Perhaps because I feel like I'm being punished,  and when u get punished there is a set time when your punishment is over.  Kind of like when I was a kid and got grounded....for say 3 days.   It sucked,  but at least I knew that after 3 days I would be "free" again, my lesson would be learned, and "normal life" would return.

This shit don't work like that and I COULD NOT ACCEPT THAT.  I literally could not wrap my brain around that concept and although after 58 days I'm getting better at it,  I still struggle with it.  Some days I feel on top and in control.  Other days I feel like a ping pong ball at the Olympics getting smashed around.  This is a process though and I must keep that in mind.

FREEDOM from addiction is my ultimate goal and although there's no true timetable for it,  ive got a decent jump on it and I'm not about to fuck it up now.

Wow! You may not recognize the change diesel but I do! You sound like a completely different person than just a few weeks ago!! I'm proud to be on this journey with you.

Thanks WT. Got some new anxiety meds that actually work!!! Feeling much better physically now. Makes a difference on attitude as well.

Staying in control is mental. Whittle the problem down to something you can wrap your head around...one day at a time.

All that matters is today. Don't think about the future...not tomorrow or next week or next year. Just focus on today. Quitting is done one day at a time.

You got this, bro. I hate that you're taking pills, but I love that you are taking your quit so seriously that you were pro-active to get what you need to stay nic free.

PM me and I'll send my digits if you need them. But remember, I'm no trained therapist or anything...just a fellow quitter like you.

I don't want to come across as an ass but I'm sick of people acting like taking antidepressants or anti-anxiety meds is a bad thing! Sometimes there are those of us that have chemical imbalances that can only be handled with meds!! I can't tell you how many times I've had people tell me to just man up and live with my depression. Those comments only made the situation worse because I felt like even a bigger failure because I literally Couldn't do it! Diesel again you don't even resemble the raging loon you first were! Some might say that was just a nic rage, I say BS. Anxiety, panic attacts and depression are all dangerous medical conditions that need to be taken seriously. Sometimes meds are the only way to deal with it! You wouldn't take insulin from a diabetic and say man up, or tell him sorry you are depending on a drug. Ok my rant and rage are over and I feel better! Diesel I quit with you today.

[Bean]

Sorry its Skoal MONSTER not Master, but the book was a good read.  Thanks again!

You're right though.  One of my biggest problems has been looking for the "end date" for my quit.  Perhaps because I feel like I'm being punished,  and when u get punished there is a set time when your punishment is over.  Kind of like when I was a kid and got grounded....for say 3 days.   It sucked,  but at least I knew that after 3 days I would be "free" again, my lesson would be learned, and "normal life" would return.

This shit don't work like that and I COULD NOT ACCEPT THAT.  I literally could not wrap my brain around that concept and although after 58 days I'm getting better at it,  I still struggle with it.  Some days I feel on top and in control.  Other days I feel like a ping pong ball at the Olympics getting smashed around.  This is a process though and I must keep that in mind.

FREEDOM from addiction is my ultimate goal and although there's no true timetable for it,  ive got a decent jump on it and I'm not about to fuck it up now.

Wow! You may not recognize the change diesel but I do! You sound like a completely different person than just a few weeks ago!! I'm proud to be on this journey with you.

Thanks WT. Got some new anxiety meds that actually work!!! Feeling much better physically now. Makes a difference on attitude as well.

Staying in control is mental. Whittle the problem down to something you can wrap your head around...one day at a time.

All that matters is today. Don't think about the future...not tomorrow or next week or next year. Just focus on today. Quitting is done one day at a time.

You got this, bro. I hate that you're taking pills, but I love that you are taking your quit so seriously that you were pro-active to get what you need to stay nic free.

PM me and I'll send my digits if you need them. But remember, I'm no trained therapist or anything...just a fellow quitter like you.

[Diesel2112]

Sorry its Skoal MONSTER not Master, but the book was a good read.  Thanks again!

You're right though.  One of my biggest problems has been looking for the "end date" for my quit.  Perhaps because I feel like I'm being punished,  and when u get punished there is a set time when your punishment is over.  Kind of like when I was a kid and got grounded....for say 3 days.   It sucked,  but at least I knew that after 3 days I would be "free" again, my lesson would be learned, and "normal life" would return.

This shit don't work like that and I COULD NOT ACCEPT THAT.  I literally could not wrap my brain around that concept and although after 58 days I'm getting better at it,  I still struggle with it.  Some days I feel on top and in control.  Other days I feel like a ping pong ball at the Olympics getting smashed around.  This is a process though and I must keep that in mind.

FREEDOM from addiction is my ultimate goal and although there's no true timetable for it,  ive got a decent jump on it and I'm not about to fuck it up now.

Wow! You may not recognize the change diesel but I do! You sound like a completely different person than just a few weeks ago!! I'm proud to be on this journey with you.

Thanks WT. Got some new anxiety meds that actually work!!! Feeling much better physically now. Makes a difference on attitude as well.

[Wt57]

Sorry its Skoal MONSTER not Master, but the book was a good read.  Thanks again!

You're right though.  One of my biggest problems has been looking for the "end date" for my quit.  Perhaps because I feel like I'm being punished,  and when u get punished there is a set time when your punishment is over.  Kind of like when I was a kid and got grounded....for say 3 days.  It sucked,  but at least I knew that after 3 days I would be "free" again, my lesson would be learned, and "normal life" would return.

This shit don't work like that and I COULD NOT ACCEPT THAT.  I literally could not wrap my brain around that concept and although after 58 days I'm getting better at it,  I still struggle with it.  Some days I feel on top and in control.  Other days I feel like a ping pong ball at the Olympics getting smashed around.  This is a process though and I must keep that in mind.

FREEDOM from addiction is my ultimate goal and although there's no true timetable for it,  ive got a decent jump on it and I'm not about to fuck it up now.

Wow! You may not recognize the change diesel but I do! You sound like a completely different person than just a few weeks ago!! I'm proud to be on this journey with you.

[Diesel2112]

Anybody ever read the book "nic rag,  a guide to quitting chewing tobacco"?  I read a sample and it sounds horrible.  I read Alan Carr's,  "How to quit smoking the easy way" on the recommendation of Skoal Master and it was great.  This other book just sounds awful and scary as hell!  Just wondered if anyone had read it.

holy crap somebody actually listened to lil ole me?? :o Glad you found that book helpful, I sure did.

Also regarding this

I guess instead of f bombing everything and everyone else. I need to say FUCK YOU to ME. I'm not dead though. This story is not fully written.

Your saying "fuck you" to old you, to new you say "right fucking on brother." You are what you do. So if you wanna be that ass kicking mofo who motor boats therapists and plays with their kids and just generally kicks ass? then start doing those things. There isn't a switch that gets flipped that says " ok go do what you want, your all quit now" You just gotta step of the cliff and jump.

Your quit already, in this moment. Live your life the way you want to live it. Let go of the idea that there is some finish line of quit. The destination and the journey are the same thing Diesel. Like the man says " be the ball Danny" . Your free, you may not feel it yet but you are, and that is pretty fucking cool. Putting addiction before your family is what we all did. It's what all addicts do. Having the strength to realize it and take the steps to change it? Thats fucking courage man. That's pure badassery. Fuck nicotine, and fuck big tobacco and fuck addiction, Hooorah for freedom and for the courage to change, and the courage to live a real life. Today I'm quittin with Diesel

sM

Sorry its Skoal MONSTER not Master, but the book was a good read. Thanks again!

You're right though. One of my biggest problems has been looking for the "end date" for my quit. Perhaps because I feel like I'm being punished, and when u get punished there is a set time when your punishment is over. Kind of like when I was a kid and got grounded....for say 3 days. It sucked, but at least I knew that after 3 days I would be "free" again, my lesson would be learned, and "normal life" would return.

This shit don't work like that and I COULD NOT ACCEPT THAT. I literally could not wrap my brain around that concept and although after 58 days I'm getting better at it, I still struggle with it. Some days I feel on top and in control. Other days I feel like a ping pong ball at the Olympics getting smashed around. This is a process though and I must keep that in mind.

FREEDOM from addiction is my ultimate goal and although there's no true timetable for it, ive got a decent jump on it and I'm not about to fuck it up now.

[Skoal Monster]

Anybody ever read the book "nic rag, a guide to quitting chewing tobacco"? I read a sample and it sounds horrible. I read Alan Carr's, "How to quit smoking the easy way" on the recommendation of Skoal Master and it was great. This other book just sounds awful and scary as hell! Just wondered if anyone had read it.

holy crap somebody actually listened to lil ole me?? :o Glad you found that book helpful, I sure did.

Also regarding this

I guess instead of f bombing everything and everyone else. I need to say FUCK YOU to ME. I'm not dead though. This story is not fully written.

Your saying "fuck you" to old you, to new you say "right fucking on brother." You are what you do. So if you wanna be that ass kicking mofo who motor boats therapists and plays with their kids and just generally kicks ass? then start doing those things. There isn't a switch that gets flipped that says " ok go do what you want, your all quit now" You just gotta step of the cliff and jump.

Your quit already, in this moment. Live your life the way you want to live it. Let go of the idea that there is some finish line of quit. The destination and the journey are the same thing Diesel. Like the man says " be the ball Danny" . Your free, you may not feel it yet but you are, and that is pretty fucking cool. Putting addiction before your family is what we all did. It's what all addicts do. Having the strength to realize it and take the steps to change it? Thats fucking courage man. That's pure badassery. Fuck nicotine, and fuck big tobacco and fuck addiction, Hooorah for freedom and for the courage to change, and the courage to live a real life. Today I'm quittin with Diesel

sM

[Diesel2112]

Anybody ever read the book "nic rag, a guide to quitting chewing tobacco"? I read a sample and it sounds horrible. I read Alan Carr's, "How to quit smoking the easy way" on the recommendation of Skoal Master and it was great. This other book just sounds awful and scary as hell! Just wondered if anyone had read it.

[dukedog]

The best part of quitting for me has been the chance for me to become the person I should have been all along..the person my kids thought I was.  We have all done shit we do not like... me included.  I sat in the cancer ward watching my wife take chemo with a dip in my face.  The thought haunts me daily. 

I found this place, kept quitting each day and became the new me.  The bad ass quitter that grabs life by the balls and enjoys things without my addiction. I had some wierd times early on, went to the doc all the time.  Was convinced I was going to die, crazy anxiety, depression, you name it.  I struggled through my early days but knew the only thing to do was to stay quit!!

Somewhere around day 200 things became much better.  Not sure why they just did. I know now what it feels like to be free and I relish that feeling every morning.  I enjoy my family more, enjoy time with my children, shit just enjoy waking up every day.

Keep fighting this!! It IS worth it...

STAY QUIT
Greg

Great post brother!

Always remember you cannot CHANGE the past just learn from it!

You are truly a badass quiter and proud to be quit with you!

Really appreciate the post.

[Grizzly25]

The best part of quitting for me has been the chance for me to become the person I should have been all along..the person my kids thought I was. We have all done shit we do not like... me included. I sat in the cancer ward watching my wife take chemo with a dip in my face. The thought haunts me daily.

I found this place, kept quitting each day and became the new me. The bad ass quitter that grabs life by the balls and enjoys things without my addiction. I had some wierd times early on, went to the doc all the time. Was convinced I was going to die, crazy anxiety, depression, you name it. I struggled through my early days but knew the only thing to do was to stay quit!!

Somewhere around day 200 things became much better. Not sure why they just did. I know now what it feels like to be free and I relish that feeling every morning. I enjoy my family more, enjoy time with my children, shit just enjoy waking up every day.

Keep fighting this!! It IS worth it...

STAY QUIT
Greg

Great post brother!

Always remember you cannot CHANGE the past just learn from it!

You are truly a badass quiter and proud to be quit with you!