Hey all, since today is my 6 week anniversary, I thought maybe a quit update is necessary.
First off, I just got back from the Army dentist, and everything is well from his perspective. I fessed up to being a reformed nicotene addict, which after congratulating me, asked if I had looked at his Anti-Dip poster (BTW: the Army has these all over every dental clinic world-wide). I told him I had, but I hate looking at them especially now that I am quit, and hoping with every passing day that I was not too late.
Since I started dipping, I took every successful visit (i.e., cavities are no big deal, but ZERO cancer symptoms is a success) was a new lease on life... unfortunately, that meant I would go right out to my truck and put in an extra fat pinch. Whereas I should have taken the scare to mean something and quit immediately, I simply thought that I had bought yet another year of the habit until my next annual dental exam. I know, pretty sick, and all of you have similar stories.
But that all leads me to the status of my quit. With the help of all of you, my brother, and especially my wife, I have made it to 6 weeks. My jaw still hurts, but its from clenching it... I wake up in the middle of the night and find that I am clenching my teeth. Stress??? Midnight craves??? Not sure.
Shit, my jaw muscles are probably exhausted from it all. My gums and cheeks are generally fine, but I am still biting at them and get a few oddities that concern me. Hell, my tongue started hurting me 2 days ago from probing for new bumps or sores. Again though, the Doc saw nothing wrong in there... this was GREAT news.
Shit, I am a chronic user of Altoids and Halls cough drops now... I hate gum, so I needed something for the fixations... though the wife offered herself up as an option whenever needed. I told her my tongue and jaw was already hurting, but I would consider it.
Fuck if I still occasionally get light headed, kinda dizzy... it passes a lot quicker nowadays, but that first 10 days I would swear I was about to either pass out, or lose control thereby kicking someone's ass.
My cravings come and go... some times they are strong, while others hardly are a blip on my radar. It used to be around 30 days that the surprise cravings would catch me off guard... during some complacent phase that everyone must remain on guard against. I would likely have caved by now had I not been aware of this being an ever present threat. You folks are great at reminding me of the pitfalls AND also the milestones.
I have had some incredible dreams lately... everything from totally realistic to weird as hell. The last time I recall this was when I was sleeping with a nic-patch on about 10 years ago. Now its happening without ANY nicotene in my system. I don't know what this all means. Its one of the few symptoms of this quit that I cannot put my finger on... maybe you guys can help.
The only dreams that I recall vividly from my previous quits (pre-KTC) were dreams of caving and beating myself up over it, pissed off at myself even after I woke-up to find it was nothing but a dream. I hated those dreams more than daytime craves... probably because the dream exposed or demonstrated weakness.
Anyway, bottom-line is we are getting closer to the HOF... but that date is of little concern to me since the day-to-day battle will rage on long after. So, I just don't worry about it, and will only fight the next 24 hours at a time.
Well, thats my update. While I might not be able to post roll every single day, I acknowledge the benefits, and the commitment. Thanks guys.
42 and counting,
Colonel No Cope
