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Offline jake frawley

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Re: hullo
« Reply #54 on: June 13, 2013, 09:42:00 AM »
Quote from: B-loMatt
Day 17- started hearin' the Nic bitchs' wispers last night and this morning... NAFAR biotch! One of my best friends had been nic free for 6+ years and just started up again recently... Really threw me for a loop last night to hear that. He is going through a very difficult time right now and was seeking comfort from the can, and predictably he is hooked harder than ever now. I told him about my quit and KTC, but I could tell he was not interested in quitting at this time. We were talking about the good old days b4 we had any real responsibilities. Made me think about how stupid my friends and I were to all be dipping like we did... I also think it woke the nic bitch up: trying and tell me 'see remember how much fun we used to have', and 'even if you stop dipping for years I will always be waiting for you'. So I am doing what I know, posted roll first thing, lined up my seeds, gum, hard candies, and fake dip, and got ready to quit today...
If at any point today you decide to maybe listen to the nic bitch or become tempted to join your friend in a dip, Send me a text or call. I will more then gladly drive 90 mins and kick you in the nuts so you come back to reality! Sounds like you got this under control already so I shouldn't have to assault you, but just wanted to extend the offer! Good job on seeing the craves for what they are! SHIT!
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Offline B-loMatt

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Re: hullo
« Reply #53 on: June 13, 2013, 08:29:00 AM »
Day 17- started hearin' the Nic bitchs' wispers last night and this morning... NAFAR biotch! One of my best friends had been nic free for 6+ years and just started up again recently... Really threw me for a loop last night to hear that. He is going through a very difficult time right now and was seeking comfort from the can, and predictably he is hooked harder than ever now. I told him about my quit and KTC, but I could tell he was not interested in quitting at this time. We were talking about the good old days b4 we had any real responsibilities. Made me think about how stupid my friends and I were to all be dipping like we did... I also think it woke the nic bitch up: trying and tell me 'see remember how much fun we used to have', and 'even if you stop dipping for years I will always be waiting for you'. So I am doing what I know, posted roll first thing, lined up my seeds, gum, hard candies, and fake dip, and got ready to quit today...
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Offline B-loMatt

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Re: hullo
« Reply #52 on: June 12, 2013, 09:12:00 AM »
Day 16- slept like a rock last night. Had to get the kids off to school, and now I am getting my a.m. KTC fix b4 I get productive. Feeling better today after +1, gets better each day even if today is a harder struggle than yesterday.
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Offline dipweasel

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Re: hullo
« Reply #51 on: June 12, 2013, 12:39:00 AM »
Quote from: B-loMatt
End of day 15 thank God. Slept like shit last night. Couldn't fall asleep then woke up sick and couldn't fall asleep again. I had to get up with the kids this morning, and my wife called just as I was getting a nap... Danm cranky all day, didn't get a productive thing done, felt sick and tired, and had the fog today. Still didn't want to dip. Thanks KTC.
Read your thread tonight - congrats on your quit! When my craves hit I always think about something I read here on KTC - you only "think" X activity was better with nic. Reality couldn't be further from the truth. It's like a mirage or hallucination, but when your senses come back, you see it's just that nic whore behind the curtain.

Keep it up! Quit with you today!
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Offline B-loMatt

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Re: hullo
« Reply #50 on: June 11, 2013, 09:50:00 PM »
End of day 15 thank God. Slept like shit last night. Couldn't fall asleep then woke up sick and couldn't fall asleep again. I had to get up with the kids this morning, and my wife called just as I was getting a nap... Danm cranky all day, didn't get a productive thing done, felt sick and tired, and had the fog today. Still didn't want to dip. Thanks KTC.
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Offline B-loMatt

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Re: hullo
« Reply #49 on: June 10, 2013, 09:44:00 PM »
Quote from: jake
Quote from: B-loMatt
Day 14! Wow can't hardly believe it has been two weeks already. Feels great. I know I still have lots of suck in my future, but let's face it everyone has suck in their future as that is part of life. KTC is helping me see the suck for what it is: nic bitchs' empty lies. There are eough real problems in life that nics' bs sucky feeling isn't worth my time. Up yours nic I quit!
True words! Suck happens no matter what. Glad you see it for what it is! Good job!
Thanks J.F. love the fire fist btw.
Made it through day 14 without much suck and no fog. Been stringing together a bunch of days like that in week 2; not craving it bad at all. When I do have an actual 'want a dip moment' it disapears as soon as I realize what is going on. The main reason for this is that I have accepted that I am a nic addict, and because of this I can never use nic again for any reason... It is not an option. This commitment is made possible because I finaly made my mind up that the health risks, the money out of my pocket (and where that money was going), and being a slave were not a price I was willing to pay anymore for something I didn't even like doing. In short it was the right time for me to quit. I am certain I could not do this without the support on this site. I know from past experiences that one dip will send me right back to where I was, and that another 'right time to quit for me' might be a long ways down the road if it ever comes. The daily promise not to use, the cancer stories and pics, the contract to quit, phone numbers to call or txt b4 I cave so that I must have their permission first, the threads which tell of the common things all of us quitters experience, the distractions offered in those threads and others, the inspiration I get from all the bad ass quitters here, and the help I have gotten building a rightous hate for the nic bitch, all these things I give thanks for.
I am still working on the oral fixation thing, and still having issues with the suck and fog from time to time, but I am starting to realize that I AM doing this! I also am expecting to have bad days in the future, but I would have those even if I wasn't a nic addict. Besides, thanks to KTC I have a plan in place for when those bad days come. I'll be here drinking the kool-aid baby!
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Offline jake frawley

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Re: hullo
« Reply #48 on: June 10, 2013, 09:23:00 AM »
Quote from: B-loMatt
Day 14! Wow can't hardly believe it has been two weeks already. Feels great. I know I still have lots of suck in my future, but let's face it everyone has suck in their future as that is part of life. KTC is helping me see the suck for what it is: nic bitchs' empty lies. There are eough real problems in life that nics' bs sucky feeling isn't worth my time. Up yours nic I quit!
True words! Suck happens no matter what. Glad you see it for what it is! Good job!
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Offline B-loMatt

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Re: hullo
« Reply #47 on: June 10, 2013, 09:22:00 AM »
Day 14! Wow can't hardly believe it has been two weeks already. Feels great. I know I still have lots of suck in my future, but let's face it everyone has suck in their future as that is part of life. KTC is helping me see the suck for what it is: nic bitchs' empty lies. There are eough real problems in life that nics' bs sucky feeling isn't worth my time. Up yours nic I quit!
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Offline flynniej15

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Re: hullo
« Reply #46 on: June 09, 2013, 02:52:00 PM »
Quote from: B-loMatt,Jun
I had loaded her bike into the suberban command unit (I have never, do not, and never will own a mini van... It is a suburban command unit damn you!)

2 things hit me here - 1st is funny and I am going to use this forever more:
I have never, do not, and never will own a mini van... It is a suburban command unit damn you!

2 not funny but know exactly how you felt my oldest son just hit middle school, found him with a tin of hooch (which I now have in my arsenal of quit) pulled him aside told him the truth about dip - showed him my gum lines and this site.. he is old enough that I could involve him in my quit - another person to be accountable to.

Thanks for sharing that story
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Offline B-loMatt

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Re: hullo
« Reply #45 on: June 09, 2013, 11:02:00 AM »
Closng out the weekend and week 2 feeling strong. Had my first dip dream that I can remember last night. I was at my corner c-store looking for my fix but they were out of apple so I was going to get straight or peach, but then they found the apple, and of course I was going to get 2 (fucking brilliant marketing plan right, I mean someone always has a buy 2 save a buck sale! Why yes I only go through 1 can a day, but I will buy another 2mro so why not save that buck? Funny how my ussage went up to 2 cans a day shortly after I began finding buy 2 and save deals...). Well I had that little epiphany durring my dream and got so mad at myself and UST that I walked out of the store without buying lip turd. Not even in my dreams Nic!
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Offline B-loMatt

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Re: hullo
« Reply #44 on: June 08, 2013, 11:48:00 PM »
So my wife is a smoker, pack or so a day, and I hate it... I could never say anything about it since I was a dipper... We are both fucking nic addicts. I still can't say anything to my wife about the smoking, and she has always been good about smoking outside and keeping it away from our children. Today, when I came home with my oldest from her bike minus training wheels practice, I had loaded her bike into the suberban command unit (I have never, do not, and never will own a mini van... It is a suburban command unit damn you!) since the school parking lot is far enough away to warrent it, and I needed to unload it when we got back. I opened the garage door and my oldest went into the garage while I unloaded the minivan... er suburban command vehicle. My wife had left her Butt tray in the garage as it was raining last nite, and once I had unloaded the command vehicle and entered the garage I found my baby unraveling a 3/4 smoked cancer stick. I was speachless for a moment, but my indignation, and horror won out: "baby don't play with that poison! I don't ever want you touching that! I don't want your mother touching that, but it might be too late for her! It is tobacco, and it is a trap! If you try it it will hook you and you will be hard pressed to stop using it..." I have never felt such terror, and I also had immediate empathy for all the dippers and ex-dippers who caught their child packing a cancer dare in their mouth. My daughter asked "what do you mean hooked daddy? Like a fish baby, once you hook that fish it has to fight for its life to get free or you own it, and sometimes the fish will rip its' face off to get free." I know I have to have a heart to heart with her now, but I hate that I need to crush a part of her innocence at such a young age, but I couldn't stand it if I wait to warn her and wait too long. I also am caught in a rock and a hard place by the truth: yeah I quit, and it was the hardest thing I ever did, but your momma has not quit yet because she is not ready and may never be... God damn tobacco I fucking hate all you represent!
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Offline srans

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Re: hullo
« Reply #43 on: June 08, 2013, 04:34:00 PM »
Quote from: B-loMatt
Lol no doubt just stirrin' my gumbo now though all my choppin's done. I didn't even have to drink the sherry to muddle my brain this time just the KTC brand kool-aid. :wacko:
Sounds to me like your learning that life is rewarding without the can. It sounds like your are proving the poison wrong. You are discovering the lies. I quit with you today my friend.
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Hof date may 25, 2013
HoF Speech


The poison sucks. I hate it. I hated it this morning, I hated it at noon, I hated it at supper and I hate it tonight. I enjoy hating it so much I'm going to wake up tomorrow and start over hating it. I quit with anyone that wants to hate it with me.

Offline B-loMatt

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Re: hullo
« Reply #42 on: June 08, 2013, 04:07:00 PM »
Lol no doubt just stirrin' my gumbo now though all my choppin's done. I didn't even have to drink the sherry to muddle my brain this time just the KTC brand kool-aid. :wacko:
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Offline cbird65

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Re: hullo
« Reply #41 on: June 08, 2013, 03:40:00 PM »
Quote from: B-loMatt
Holly crap did I just get the FOG! Got a great nites sleep again (wife even let me sleep in) started day with a work out and a supper healthy breakfast. Then I took my 7 year old down to the school parking lot so she could practice ridding her bike w/o training wheels, and this involved me basicly running 100 meter wind sprints for 20 minutes; my fat ass did better at it than I thought I would (thank you bike rides last 2 weeks). Started making dinner thinking about how much I am loving being free and wham, Fog city. Mind you it's a good fog right now just glad I am not needing to drive or operate heavy machinery.
might want to set the cutlery down and step away from the blender/food processor as well

go chug a quart of water
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Offline B-loMatt

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Re: hullo
« Reply #40 on: June 08, 2013, 03:32:00 PM »
Holly crap did I just get the FOG! Got a great nites sleep again (wife even let me sleep in) started day with a work out and a supper healthy breakfast. Then I took my 7 year old down to the school parking lot so she could practice ridding her bike w/o training wheels, and this involved me basicly running 100 meter wind sprints for 20 minutes; my fat ass did better at it than I thought I would (thank you bike rides last 2 weeks). Started making dinner thinking about how much I am loving being free and wham, Fog city. Mind you it's a good fog right now just glad I am not needing to drive or operate heavy machinery.
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