Here we go again

Started by THansen2413, February 22, 2014, 08:23:00 PM

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Thumblewort

Call me an old fool, but other than removing himself from roll how do we know he caved - unless me told someone, then duh of course.
Some of my fondest and clearest memories are peeing in places that aren't bathrooms.

E&C's Dad

Quote from: Raider
Quote from: Smeds
Quote from: THansen2413Complacent quits = Bad quits

I'm not real sure how to start this off, so I'll just start typing from the cuff...

I had a pretty big setback in my quit this week. On Monday night, with work off Tuesday, I decided to pick up a fifth of Fireball Whiskey. I didn't have any limit set in stone to how much I would drink, so one chug, turned into 4, and that turned into me finishing off the fifth over the course of a late afternoon/evening/night. I stayed up until probably 3 am that night. Listening to music, looking at old pictures, and sulking over things that I either, A) could control, or B) couldn't control. Either way, getting drunk off my ass, alone in my bedroom, wasn't going to fix either of those options. I woke up the next morning, and as one of my close quit buddies put it, "wagged the dogs tail." I started drinking about 11 am, and it carried on throughout the day again. This time, a fifth of vodka over the late morning/afternoon/evening.

Tuesday was a bad day. I posted roll, but in my drunken, depressive state I went out and bought a can of poison. I was no doubt going to dip that night. I had made my mind up. I was willing to throw away 480 odd days of being quit, betray my quit brothers, and as I put it "come back better and stronger". It pains me to type those words even today. I guess luckily for me, as most drunks are, they like to text and or talk. Look for attention as sick as it may be. I sent a text out to my 10 quit friends.....no, my quit brothers and it read, "I'm fucking up guys". Luck was in my corner as one of them called me not more than 2 minutes later. I came clean to him that I had bought a can, and was romanticizing dip and nicotine. He gave me a loving, hard nosed talk and put his chips on the table with me. He made me flush my unopened can, and then proceeded to relay to the group that I had bought a can, and everyone should call me. They did just that. I took a few calls from different brothers and they reiterated what a bad choice this would be. That led to a conference call with all of us on the line. I listened, and honestly only remember chunks of that call but what I got was sheer concern, and brotherly advice. After I got off the phone, I continued to text with them. Looking back on those texts I sent, pained me. I was disrespectful to a few of them. Said things I wouldn't have said even on my worst day sober. I then proceeded to jump on chat and talk with the people who were on there. Again, and I'm sorry, I only remember fragments of that time spent on chat. What I'm most sorry about with chat, is I drew the attention away from new quitters. Quitters who were struggling in their first week, first month. For those who reached out to me that night, I know SirNope and Nolaq were on the forefront, thank you.

It's taken me 3 days to get back to feeling "normal" from my alcohol binge. Alcohol is a real bitch. It's left me unmotivated and apathetic for the 3 days. So for 3 days I've been picking up the pieces from my choices I made.

So why share this story with all of you? Some I know, some I don't. Because complacent quits will bite your ass every damn time. I learned today, one of those brothers who I talked with on the phone Wednesday, lost his 100% posting status yesterday. You can say, "Well, he should have double checked or reached out if he had doubts on his roll call." To which I respond, "Maybe, but we are our brothers keepers". Roll post is great. This site is great. But at the end of the day, if you don't have a connection on a deeper level, a bond if you will, with your quit brothers you are absolutely going to fail. I posted roll that morning, I bounced around on here that day, but even in doing those two things I was going to dip. What good are you doing posting your name on that line, if you aren't promising it and connecting to someone you sincerely care about? Someone who is going to go into battle with you.

So for myself, less than 20 days from 500 days quit, it's time to get back to the basics. It's time to connect with someone who is struggling, or someone who just quit. It's a reminder to myself also, that you're never cured from this addiction. It's always going to rear it's filthy head when you're at your lowest point or your judgment is impaired. I forgot for two days why I quit in the first place. I did something I said I'd never do again. I bought a can and donated $7 to UST. I'm so thankful and grateful, I didn't break my ultimate promise. My promise to never dip again. NAFAR.

Stay strong, reach out, make friendships, and stay quit. It's the only option we have in our lives as addicts.
This bullshit above is when I knew you were gone. It was inevitable before you once again thought nothing of your brothers, nor of your promise. I know June '14 has taken a big hit due to your cave ... but what the fuck do you care. 3 years, thrown away. I imagine you'll blame it on the demon alcohol ... but drunken actions reflect sober thoughts. You never really took full ownership of what it means to be quit ... you just regurgitated what you read on this site, thinking that made you quit. You've been jonesing for that can since the above post. Your only acknowledgement was to waltz into June, and remove your name from scroll. SMH

I hope your soda quit is still intact.
FUCK. That's all I have to say right now.
I was the one who made that initial call he mentioned above. It was at this point that I knew this guy cared only about himself. I'm also the guy who organized and sent flowers to your family when your grandmother died. I'm also the guy who took time away from my infant son when you were having one of your drunken temper tantrums. Think about that you FUCK ASS, I took time away from my crying kid to deal with your flunky ass. You are a selfish piece of shit who's not worthy of this site or those who quit every day. Enjoy your cancer weed fuck head. 'Finger'

Spence249

Quote from: THansen2413Just wanted to share something with the community here.

Last night I went out with some friends to a local bar. It was within walking distance so I gleefully tagged along. Sipping, chugging, and sipping some more alcoholic beverages as the night progressed. Judgement was impaired, but I wasn't shitfaced. Legally drunk, yes, drunk and sloppy, no. Anyway, I'm sitting at a table with 2 other friends and a another friend comes up to our table and starts talking. He had saw that I recently surpassed 400 days quit and was kind of joking about it. He's a major addict, both nic and alcohol so I didn't think much of it. Next thing I know he takes out his can of poison and puts one in, closes the lid, and starts to pass it my way and offers me one. Of course, quit tools kicked in and i just laughed it off and told him to get that fucking thing out of my face. Which he did.

Point of this is this, to someone who's 400+ days in, this is a minor speed bump, a minor reminder. To those who just quit, this could have been a cave. This is why we preach to be aware of alcohol early on, and your surroundings. The bitch is always working through mysterious ways to get back into your life. Are you gonna tell her to take a cab? Or come on in for dessert?
What happened to this quitter?

Very disappointing.

Raider

Quote from: Smeds
Quote from: THansen2413Complacent quits = Bad quits

I'm not real sure how to start this off, so I'll just start typing from the cuff...

I had a pretty big setback in my quit this week. On Monday night, with work off Tuesday, I decided to pick up a fifth of Fireball Whiskey. I didn't have any limit set in stone to how much I would drink, so one chug, turned into 4, and that turned into me finishing off the fifth over the course of a late afternoon/evening/night. I stayed up until probably 3 am that night. Listening to music, looking at old pictures, and sulking over things that I either, A) could control, or B) couldn't control. Either way, getting drunk off my ass, alone in my bedroom, wasn't going to fix either of those options. I woke up the next morning, and as one of my close quit buddies put it, "wagged the dogs tail." I started drinking about 11 am, and it carried on throughout the day again. This time, a fifth of vodka over the late morning/afternoon/evening.

Tuesday was a bad day. I posted roll, but in my drunken, depressive state I went out and bought a can of poison. I was no doubt going to dip that night. I had made my mind up. I was willing to throw away 480 odd days of being quit, betray my quit brothers, and as I put it "come back better and stronger". It pains me to type those words even today. I guess luckily for me, as most drunks are, they like to text and or talk. Look for attention as sick as it may be. I sent a text out to my 10 quit friends.....no, my quit brothers and it read, "I'm fucking up guys". Luck was in my corner as one of them called me not more than 2 minutes later. I came clean to him that I had bought a can, and was romanticizing dip and nicotine. He gave me a loving, hard nosed talk and put his chips on the table with me. He made me flush my unopened can, and then proceeded to relay to the group that I had bought a can, and everyone should call me. They did just that. I took a few calls from different brothers and they reiterated what a bad choice this would be. That led to a conference call with all of us on the line. I listened, and honestly only remember chunks of that call but what I got was sheer concern, and brotherly advice. After I got off the phone, I continued to text with them. Looking back on those texts I sent, pained me. I was disrespectful to a few of them. Said things I wouldn't have said even on my worst day sober. I then proceeded to jump on chat and talk with the people who were on there. Again, and I'm sorry, I only remember fragments of that time spent on chat. What I'm most sorry about with chat, is I drew the attention away from new quitters. Quitters who were struggling in their first week, first month. For those who reached out to me that night, I know SirNope and Nolaq were on the forefront, thank you.

It's taken me 3 days to get back to feeling "normal" from my alcohol binge. Alcohol is a real bitch. It's left me unmotivated and apathetic for the 3 days. So for 3 days I've been picking up the pieces from my choices I made.

So why share this story with all of you? Some I know, some I don't. Because complacent quits will bite your ass every damn time. I learned today, one of those brothers who I talked with on the phone Wednesday, lost his 100% posting status yesterday. You can say, "Well, he should have double checked or reached out if he had doubts on his roll call." To which I respond, "Maybe, but we are our brothers keepers". Roll post is great. This site is great. But at the end of the day, if you don't have a connection on a deeper level, a bond if you will, with your quit brothers you are absolutely going to fail. I posted roll that morning, I bounced around on here that day, but even in doing those two things I was going to dip. What good are you doing posting your name on that line, if you aren't promising it and connecting to someone you sincerely care about? Someone who is going to go into battle with you.

So for myself, less than 20 days from 500 days quit, it's time to get back to the basics. It's time to connect with someone who is struggling, or someone who just quit. It's a reminder to myself also, that you're never cured from this addiction. It's always going to rear it's filthy head when you're at your lowest point or your judgment is impaired. I forgot for two days why I quit in the first place. I did something I said I'd never do again. I bought a can and donated $7 to UST. I'm so thankful and grateful, I didn't break my ultimate promise. My promise to never dip again. NAFAR.

Stay strong, reach out, make friendships, and stay quit. It's the only option we have in our lives as addicts.
This bullshit above is when I knew you were gone. It was inevitable before you once again thought nothing of your brothers, nor of your promise. I know June '14 has taken a big hit due to your cave ... but what the fuck do you care. 3 years, thrown away. I imagine you'll blame it on the demon alcohol ... but drunken actions reflect sober thoughts. You never really took full ownership of what it means to be quit ... you just regurgitated what you read on this site, thinking that made you quit. You've been jonesing for that can since the above post. Your only acknowledgement was to waltz into June, and remove your name from scroll. SMH

I hope your soda quit is still intact.
FUCK. That's all I have to say right now.

Smeds

Quote from: THansen2413Complacent quits = Bad quits

I'm not real sure how to start this off, so I'll just start typing from the cuff...

I had a pretty big setback in my quit this week. On Monday night, with work off Tuesday, I decided to pick up a fifth of Fireball Whiskey. I didn't have any limit set in stone to how much I would drink, so one chug, turned into 4, and that turned into me finishing off the fifth over the course of a late afternoon/evening/night. I stayed up until probably 3 am that night. Listening to music, looking at old pictures, and sulking over things that I either, A) could control, or B) couldn't control. Either way, getting drunk off my ass, alone in my bedroom, wasn't going to fix either of those options. I woke up the next morning, and as one of my close quit buddies put it, "wagged the dogs tail." I started drinking about 11 am, and it carried on throughout the day again. This time, a fifth of vodka over the late morning/afternoon/evening.

Tuesday was a bad day. I posted roll, but in my drunken, depressive state I went out and bought a can of poison. I was no doubt going to dip that night. I had made my mind up. I was willing to throw away 480 odd days of being quit, betray my quit brothers, and as I put it "come back better and stronger". It pains me to type those words even today. I guess luckily for me, as most drunks are, they like to text and or talk. Look for attention as sick as it may be. I sent a text out to my 10 quit friends.....no, my quit brothers and it read, "I'm fucking up guys". Luck was in my corner as one of them called me not more than 2 minutes later. I came clean to him that I had bought a can, and was romanticizing dip and nicotine. He gave me a loving, hard nosed talk and put his chips on the table with me. He made me flush my unopened can, and then proceeded to relay to the group that I had bought a can, and everyone should call me. They did just that. I took a few calls from different brothers and they reiterated what a bad choice this would be. That led to a conference call with all of us on the line. I listened, and honestly only remember chunks of that call but what I got was sheer concern, and brotherly advice. After I got off the phone, I continued to text with them. Looking back on those texts I sent, pained me. I was disrespectful to a few of them. Said things I wouldn't have said even on my worst day sober. I then proceeded to jump on chat and talk with the people who were on there. Again, and I'm sorry, I only remember fragments of that time spent on chat. What I'm most sorry about with chat, is I drew the attention away from new quitters. Quitters who were struggling in their first week, first month. For those who reached out to me that night, I know SirNope and Nolaq were on the forefront, thank you.

It's taken me 3 days to get back to feeling "normal" from my alcohol binge. Alcohol is a real bitch. It's left me unmotivated and apathetic for the 3 days. So for 3 days I've been picking up the pieces from my choices I made.

So why share this story with all of you? Some I know, some I don't. Because complacent quits will bite your ass every damn time. I learned today, one of those brothers who I talked with on the phone Wednesday, lost his 100% posting status yesterday. You can say, "Well, he should have double checked or reached out if he had doubts on his roll call." To which I respond, "Maybe, but we are our brothers keepers". Roll post is great. This site is great. But at the end of the day, if you don't have a connection on a deeper level, a bond if you will, with your quit brothers you are absolutely going to fail. I posted roll that morning, I bounced around on here that day, but even in doing those two things I was going to dip. What good are you doing posting your name on that line, if you aren't promising it and connecting to someone you sincerely care about? Someone who is going to go into battle with you.

So for myself, less than 20 days from 500 days quit, it's time to get back to the basics. It's time to connect with someone who is struggling, or someone who just quit. It's a reminder to myself also, that you're never cured from this addiction. It's always going to rear it's filthy head when you're at your lowest point or your judgment is impaired. I forgot for two days why I quit in the first place. I did something I said I'd never do again. I bought a can and donated $7 to UST. I'm so thankful and grateful, I didn't break my ultimate promise. My promise to never dip again. NAFAR.

Stay strong, reach out, make friendships, and stay quit. It's the only option we have in our lives as addicts.
This bullshit above is when I knew you were gone. It was inevitable before you once again thought nothing of your brothers, nor of your promise. I know June '14 has taken a big hit due to your cave ... but what the fuck do you care. 3 years, thrown away. I imagine you'll blame it on the demon alcohol ... but drunken actions reflect sober thoughts. You never really took full ownership of what it means to be quit ... you just regurgitated what you read on this site, thinking that made you quit. You've been jonesing for that can since the above post. Your only acknowledgement was to waltz into June, and remove your name from scroll. SMH

I hope your soda quit is still intact.
My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are.

danojeno

Quote from: THansen2413
Quote from: Ginet
Quote from: ChickDipCongrats on you're 2 years quit!
That's strong quittin there.
Oooh lalala....so fancy! Atta baby TH!!! Congrats friend!!
Ahhh gee whiz :$ thanks you two!
Just to ruin the picture, I'll jump in here. Congrats on 2 years bro and thanks for your support.

THansen2413

Quote from: Ginet
Quote from: ChickDipCongrats on you're 2 years quit!
That's strong quittin there.
Oooh lalala....so fancy! Atta baby TH!!! Congrats friend!!
Ahhh gee whiz :$ thanks you two!
Quitters I've met in person : Keddy, boelker62, Big Brother Jack, baitbanjo, SirDerek, Chewie, Scowick65, theo3wood, mcarmo44, MonsterEMT, Bronc, dforbes, rocketman, Lance from SD, kdip, wastepanel, quitspit, basshaug, greenspidy, 30yrAddict, btdogboy, cmark, chrisTKE1982, Jeffro Dolfie, Clampy, carlh2o, JGlav, ReWire, Chewrouski_Philly, Sranger999, walterwhite, DWEIRICK, spit cup, FranPro, ericfluck

Ginet

Quote from: ChickDipCongrats on you're 2 years quit!
That's strong quittin there.
Oooh lalala....so fancy! Atta baby TH!!! Congrats friend!!
The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person who is doing it. ~ Chinese Proverb
Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. ~ Stephen R. Covey

QD 12/29/13
April 2014 Resolute

ChickDip

Congrats on you're 2 years quit!
That's strong quittin there.
July 2015 Jackals - House of WUPP
"....the load doesn't weigh me down at all, he ain't heavy he's my brother"
Try to believe that you are worth more than you think, and others are worth more than you think.
"If you haven't... Quit now......If you have... Stay that way " ~AppleJack
"Make It Through Today" WarE2013 (Rest Easy)
"I am quit... for today... with you... but not FOR you" ~LBP
"Endeavor to Persevere!" Lone Waite

my intro / my HOF speech / my comma club
Building a Strong Quit / My HOF Day

rdad

Congrats on half a comma today Thansen. You are quite the badass quitter! Keep it up Brother! 'oh yeah' 'party2'

Thumblewort

Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: Steakbomb18
Quote from: grizzlyhasclawsGlad you're still quit. But it sounds like you better get your shit together. No excuses for failure.
Sounds like another addiction may be knocking at your door and that evil has the nic bitch in tow. With that said, TH thank you for sharing that. I've only been quit a mere 2 months longer than you and that story makes quitting every day just as real now as it was for us 18 months ago. In those 18 months we have all read about 400+ day cavers - some 3 year+ caves and in all those stories there was one consistency. They stopped posting roll. However, that is not you. And because you continue to post roll, you were able to have the wherewithal through the fog of a booze bender to reach out to your quit brothers. That was huge, and clearly, you just received the full wrath of brotherhood. I commend you for that and I commend your brothers for saving your life on that day.

Message to all, post roll. Always.
Thank you for sharing this.

None of us is invincible. As an individual, in fact, we are weak at times when dealing with this addiction. As a team we are strong. The only people who cave after hof are those who stop posting roll...which is the basis of the team quit.

I know this sounds crazy, but there is still more upside from where you are. Unfortunately there are sometimes cravings too. So what... You've got your team in place.

Proud to quit with you today sir.
ADDICTION! Strong word, comes in many forms. Some people choose to try and beat whatever there addiction is and others choose to simply give up and usually die. But not you my friend, had it not been for what I will say out of habit, being on ktc every day, in your drunken state of mind you would have packed that fatty. Hey is getting drunk worth it. To me it causes more damage than nic, we not only hurt ourselves but the ones we love also. Happy Father's day still nic free!
Stay strong TH, you are a solid dude.
Some of my fondest and clearest memories are peeing in places that aren't bathrooms.

pab1964

Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: Steakbomb18
Quote from: grizzlyhasclawsGlad you're still quit. But it sounds like you better get your shit together. No excuses for failure.
Sounds like another addiction may be knocking at your door and that evil has the nic bitch in tow. With that said, TH thank you for sharing that. I've only been quit a mere 2 months longer than you and that story makes quitting every day just as real now as it was for us 18 months ago. In those 18 months we have all read about 400+ day cavers - some 3 year+ caves and in all those stories there was one consistency. They stopped posting roll. However, that is not you. And because you continue to post roll, you were able to have the wherewithal through the fog of a booze bender to reach out to your quit brothers. That was huge, and clearly, you just received the full wrath of brotherhood. I commend you for that and I commend your brothers for saving your life on that day.

Message to all, post roll. Always.
Thank you for sharing this.

None of us is invincible. As an individual, in fact, we are weak at times when dealing with this addiction. As a team we are strong. The only people who cave after hof are those who stop posting roll...which is the basis of the team quit.

I know this sounds crazy, but there is still more upside from where you are. Unfortunately there are sometimes cravings too. So what... You've got your team in place.

Proud to quit with you today sir.
ADDICTION! Strong word, comes in many forms. Some people choose to try and beat whatever there addiction is and others choose to simply give up and usually die. But not you my friend, had it not been for what I will say out of habit, being on ktc every day, in your drunken state of mind you would have packed that fatty. Hey is getting drunk worth it. To me it causes more damage than nic, we not only hurt ourselves but the ones we love also. Happy Father's day still nic free!
Tobacco is so addictive it took me a year after a massive heart attack, in which doctor confirmed caused from dipping to finally put a lid on the bitch! ODAAT EDD

worktowin

Quote from: Steakbomb18
Quote from: grizzlyhasclawsGlad you're still quit. But it sounds like you better get your shit together. No excuses for failure.
Sounds like another addiction may be knocking at your door and that evil has the nic bitch in tow. With that said, TH thank you for sharing that. I've only been quit a mere 2 months longer than you and that story makes quitting every day just as real now as it was for us 18 months ago. In those 18 months we have all read about 400+ day cavers - some 3 year+ caves and in all those stories there was one consistency. They stopped posting roll. However, that is not you. And because you continue to post roll, you were able to have the wherewithal through the fog of a booze bender to reach out to your quit brothers. That was huge, and clearly, you just received the full wrath of brotherhood. I commend you for that and I commend your brothers for saving your life on that day.

Message to all, post roll. Always.
Thank you for sharing this.

None of us is invincible. As an individual, in fact, we are weak at times when dealing with this addiction. As a team we are strong. The only people who cave after hof are those who stop posting roll...which is the basis of the team quit.

I know this sounds crazy, but there is still more upside from where you are. Unfortunately there are sometimes cravings too. So what... You've got your team in place.

Proud to quit with you today sir.

Steakbomb18

Quote from: grizzlyhasclawsGlad you're still quit. But it sounds like you better get your shit together. No excuses for failure.
Sounds like another addiction may be knocking at your door and that evil has the nic bitch in tow. With that said, TH thank you for sharing that. I've only been quit a mere 2 months longer than you and that story makes quitting every day just as real now as it was for us 18 months ago. In those 18 months we have all read about 400+ day cavers - some 3 year+ caves and in all those stories there was one consistency. They stopped posting roll. However, that is not you. And because you continue to post roll, you were able to have the wherewithal through the fog of a booze bender to reach out to your quit brothers. That was huge, and clearly, you just received the full wrath of brotherhood. I commend you for that and I commend your brothers for saving your life on that day.

Message to all, post roll. Always.
Certified Grade A Badass

Grizzlyhasclaws

Glad you're still quit. But it sounds like you better get your shit together. No excuses for failure.
Nicotine Quit Date:10/31/2013
Exercise Start Date: 6/29/2018