KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: snahsorg on November 22, 2018, 12:28:43 AM
-
2018.11.21 - 93 Days
Intro:
My story is basically an amalgamation of many of yours (e.g. see Kickin-Wing and Walter White, those are a good start).
I had been chewing for somewhere in the neighborhood of 13 years. The first few times were peer pressure in college when I was a drunk freshman. Here's the hook. Unfortunately I am a very sleepy person. If I am not physically or mentally stimulated, then my brain goes to sleep. This means in class, at work, whilst driving, and even a few extreme instances of standing in place for too long - I have fallen asleep in all of these cases. Well in college, I figured out that chew could keep me awake when driving and when studying into the late hours of the night.
I know chewing is gross. I know it is terrible for your health. So to avoid judgement from family and friends, I had been a closet chewer of sorts this entire time. Along the way, I switched to pouches to be able to hide it better.
When I first met my wife, I told her about my dirty secret. I told her that I knew it was bad and that I didn't want to do it forever. I met my wife 7 years ago. We have been married for 3 years. I had quit for short durations along the way, but I had essentially never quit and also hid it from her the entire time. We had our first child just over a year ago. I also just changed careers within the last year. My previous employer covered a relatively small life insurance policy. With the new job and a child, we decided to get a more robust life insurance policy. My financial advisor warned me about their testing for cocaine, but not nicotine. So I failed. This professional testing person came to my home and tested both me and my wife together. I urinated into two vials and sealed them. Then this person asked me out loud in front of my wife, with a smoking gun of a piss vial in hand, if I used tobacco. That was the first time that I ever had to admit out loud that I chewed almost every day. That was day 1 of my quit.
-
2018.11.21 - 93 Days
Physical Health:
Long story short: since quitting, I have had the week(s) long sore throat, tonsil stones, a cold, silent reflux, more tonsil stones, and a persistent feeling of something stuck in my throat. (side note: I have had tonsil stones and silent reflux prior to quitting). The ENT doctor acknowledged my tonsil stones and silent reflux, but said that my throat looked as though the main culprit for discomfort was post nasal drip. Tobacco may or may not have been a direct cause fore many of these ailments, but it surely was the cause for an 80 day psychological freak out.
-
2018.11.22 - 94 Days
Mental Health:
The fog stuck with me for a solid two months. I finally feel as though my focus and overall cognition are improving by the day. In all honesty, I still find myself thinking about chew entirely too much. I envy those who post about how the feel so much better both physically and mentally, and that they have no desire to use tobacco again. I hope to get there someday.
Support:
I quit for 40 days by myself. Much of those 40 days were spent on KTC reading and reading and reading. At day 40, I felt as though I needed to sign up and post roll in order to stay quit. And thank God I did. To anyone reading this, I recommend that you sign up for the forum on your day 1 and post roll. Me doing so 40 days in, my group had already clicked with one another to an extent. Four folks reached out to me within my first couple days here, two of which have been my morning text routine. Thank you, MikeW and bg124wpd. I owe you guys more than you know.
Post roll and make friends early. Don't be an introvert. Learn from me.
-
2018.11.22 - 94 Days
Mental Health:
The fog stuck with me for a solid two months. I finally feel as though my focus and overall cognition are improving by the day. In all honesty, I still find myself thinking about chew entirely too much. I envy those who post about how the feel so much better both physically and mentally, and that they have no desire to use tobacco again. I hope to get there someday.
Support:
I quit for 40 days by myself. Much of those 40 days were spent on KTC reading and reading and reading. At day 40, I felt as though I needed to sign up and post roll in order to stay quit. And thank God I did. To anyone reading this, I recommend that you sign up for the forum on your day 1 and post roll. Me doing so 40 days in, my group had already clicked with one another to an extent. Four folks reached out to me within my first couple days here, two of which have been my morning text routine. Thank you, MikeW and bg124wpd. I owe you guys more than you know.
Post roll and make friends early. Don't be an introvert. Learn from me.
we quit together, you helped me as I helped you.
-
2019.01.01 - 134 Days
Well it’s New Year’s Day for about another hour, and the big test of my quit resolve is lingering in the days ahead. The situation that I have feared most since August 21st is here. And when I should be sleeping in effort to be well rested and prepared for tomorrow, my brain continues to obsess over what the next few days will bring.
My son got a stomach bug the other day, which made its way to me that same evening. My wife has managed to escape it, until tonight. Coincidentally, I have a deadline on Friday that is going to require me to work my ass off the next two days. Now count tomorrow daytime as a scratch because I will be taking care of baby boy while momma bears through this stomach bug. So that leaves tomorrow evening and Thursday to do this pile of work.
At my old job, that was where dip was my fucking jam. When projects needed to get done and I was the only one who cared enough about the end product to work evenings and weekends, dip was how I got through.
I have been fortunate at the new job, up until now that is, to not be in such a defining situation. Let’s hope caffeine and normal gum can get me by. Have you ever had two 5-hour Energy shots in the same day? It feels like a small panic attack in the center of your sternum, coupled with a case of the shakes. I would like to avoid that if at all possible (plus without nicotine).
Over and over I have read on this forum that quitting has to be a decision you make for yourself and no one else. Well, I quit because I (closet dipper) was so embarrassed/angry for getting caught red handed and am being financially penalized for the next 3 years on my life insurance policy as a result. Does this mean I am destined to fail? Does this explain why I have seemingly had a more difficult time throughout my quit as compared to my group? November Nut House of Quit is a group of tough and resolute quitters. It is a rarity for any of them to voice their struggles; does that mean they are not struggling or they just don’t share it?
Happy New Year! Welcome back to the suck.
-
Does this explain why I have seemingly had a more difficult time throughout my quit as compared to my group? November Nut House of Quit is a group of tough and resolute quitters. It is a rarity for any of them to voice their struggles; does that mean they are not struggling or they just don’t share it?
NO! Everyone is struggling, yes some more than others, but I guarantee this is just as difficult for many (if not most) of your fellow Nut Jobs. Some people just don't share as much, and I am guilty of that too. I still get craves, but I made my promise and that's that. The craves aren't as strong as on say days 50-100, and don't last as long, but they can still be rough.
I'm also a sleepy person like you, and nicotine was a huge crutch I used to stay alert especially during big work deadlines like you have coming. All I can say is do your best, your body is still healing, and will adjust. It just won't happen overnight, so be patient.
Proud to quit with you Snahsorg!
-
2019.03.12 – 204 Days
I have a nice life, with generally very little to justifiably complain about. I have a loving wife, a healthy son, a good house, and a decent job. Problem is, I have been in my head a lot since quitting, and it is proving over and over to not be a great place to hang out. I might get crucified for this post, but I am tired of these thoughts rinsing and repeating through my mind. I read others’ introductions and journal posts, many of which describe how awesome someone feels XXX days quit, but I have yet to share that sentiment.
Physical:
Prior to quitting tobacco use, I struggled periodically with tonsil stones. In the 13 years I used smokeless tobacco, the tonsil stones likely began around year 10-11. I had always assumed that the tonsil stones were linked to my tobacco use. I have done a fair amount of research since quitting, and none of my findings to date draw that correlation. Today is 204 days clean. Since quitting, I have had a halfway sore throat behind my left tonsil, and it is still present daily. According to the ENT, this is the result of a post nasal drip. He prescribed a nasal spray that helps somewhat, but again, it has been 6+ months sans dip and it is still present. Since quitting, I have had spurts of acid reflux, which leave a lasting globus feeling just above my epiglottis. The globus feeling is still there at approximately a weekly recurrence. Since quitting, the tonsil stones have steadily returned every 4 weeks.
At times, I am also still having difficulty staying awake – like while driving to or from work, or afternoons at work. Just today, I nodded off behind the wheel on a rainy interstate highway, and then opened my eyes to find myself one lane over – which happened to be the exit lane… the wrong exit, that I took anyway because it was too late to get back over. I am very, very fortune to not have hurt someone. Today I drank a Kickstart (4 hours prior), a cup of coffee (3 hours prior), and a Mountain Dew (concurrent). Even after removing nicotine from the equation, my sensitivity to caffeine is low. The more coffee and hot tea I drink, the worse my throat feels too.
Mental:
I think about caving every day. Some days a minimum of at least once every hour, other days maybe once every 3-4 hours. Outside of KTC, my quit has been like solitary confinement. Ninja dipping has led me to ninja quitting. My old mentor and my brother, both of which dip, have been reluctant to even talk about it with me even though I never pressured them to quit too. Support from my wife has been very sparse, and lessening as time passes. I have tried to explain the daily mindfuck to her. She responds with an apology for not being very active with me in my quit. Then a week passes, she sees me get a text or a call from Superman MikeW, and she sheepishly asks me how the last week went. On the evening of 199 I told her what the following day was for me. Her reply was “that’s good” and then 200 passed quietly.
I have been nicotine free for 204 days. I have not missed roll once since joining the November 2018 Nut House on day 40. The effort is there. I realize life could be much, much worse and that I don't have a leg to stand on when it comes to complaining like this. I just don’t feel like it’s getting better, physically or mentally. Is this just the life of a quitting?
Any advice, insight, or criticism is welcome.
-
2019.03.12 – 204 Days
I have a nice life, with generally very little to justifiably complain about. I have a loving wife, a healthy son, a good house, and a decent job. Problem is, I have been in my head a lot since quitting, and it is proving over and over to not be a great place to hang out. I might get crucified for this post, but I am tired of these thoughts rinsing and repeating through my mind. I read others’ introductions and journal posts, many of which describe how awesome someone feels XXX days quit, but I have yet to share that sentiment.
Physical:
Prior to quitting tobacco use, I struggled periodically with tonsil stones. In the 13 years I used smokeless tobacco, the tonsil stones likely began around year 10-11. I had always assumed that the tonsil stones were linked to my tobacco use. I have done a fair amount of research since quitting, and none of my findings to date draw that correlation. Today is 204 days clean. Since quitting, I have had a halfway sore throat behind my left tonsil, and it is still present daily. According to the ENT, this is the result of a post nasal drip. He prescribed a nasal spray that helps somewhat, but again, it has been 6+ months sans dip and it is still present. Since quitting, I have had spurts of acid reflux, which leave a lasting globus feeling just above my epiglottis. The globus feeling is still there at approximately a weekly recurrence. Since quitting, the tonsil stones have steadily returned every 4 weeks.
At times, I am also still having difficulty staying awake – like while driving to or from work, or afternoons at work. Just today, I nodded off behind the wheel on a rainy interstate highway, and then opened my eyes to find myself one lane over – which happened to be the exit lane… the wrong exit, that I took anyway because it was too late to get back over. I am very, very fortune to not have hurt someone. Today I drank a Kickstart (4 hours prior), a cup of coffee (3 hours prior), and a Mountain Dew (concurrent). Even after removing nicotine from the equation, my sensitivity to caffeine is low. The more coffee and hot tea I drink, the worse my throat feels too.
Mental:
I think about caving every day. Some days a minimum of at least once every hour, other days maybe once every 3-4 hours. Outside of KTC, my quit has been like solitary confinement. Ninja dipping has led me to ninja quitting. My old mentor and my brother, both of which dip, have been reluctant to even talk about it with me even though I never pressured them to quit too. Support from my wife has been very sparse, and lessening as time passes. I have tried to explain the daily mindfuck to her. She responds with an apology for not being very active with me in my quit. Then a week passes, she sees me get a text or a call from Superman MikeW, and she sheepishly asks me how the last week went. On the evening of 199 I told her what the following day was for me. Her reply was “that’s good” and then 200 passed quietly.
I have been nicotine free for 204 days. I have not missed roll once since joining the November 2018 Nut House on day 40. The effort is there. I realize life could be much, much worse and that I don't have a leg to stand on when it comes to complaining like this. I just don’t feel like it’s getting better, physically or mentally. Is this just the life of a quitting?
Any advice, insight, or criticism is welcome.
Somehow this post was not recognized as a new one and the last update is still shown as 1/2/19. Giving it a bump to see what happens...
-
2019.03.12 – 204 Days
I have a nice life, with generally very little to justifiably complain about. I have a loving wife, a healthy son, a good house, and a decent job. Problem is, I have been in my head a lot since quitting, and it is proving over and over to not be a great place to hang out. I might get crucified for this post, but I am tired of these thoughts rinsing and repeating through my mind. I read others’ introductions and journal posts, many of which describe how awesome someone feels XXX days quit, but I have yet to share that sentiment.
Physical:
Prior to quitting tobacco use, I struggled periodically with tonsil stones. In the 13 years I used smokeless tobacco, the tonsil stones likely began around year 10-11. I had always assumed that the tonsil stones were linked to my tobacco use. I have done a fair amount of research since quitting, and none of my findings to date draw that correlation. Today is 204 days clean. Since quitting, I have had a halfway sore throat behind my left tonsil, and it is still present daily. According to the ENT, this is the result of a post nasal drip. He prescribed a nasal spray that helps somewhat, but again, it has been 6+ months sans dip and it is still present. Since quitting, I have had spurts of acid reflux, which leave a lasting globus feeling just above my epiglottis. The globus feeling is still there at approximately a weekly recurrence. Since quitting, the tonsil stones have steadily returned every 4 weeks.
At times, I am also still having difficulty staying awake – like while driving to or from work, or afternoons at work. Just today, I nodded off behind the wheel on a rainy interstate highway, and then opened my eyes to find myself one lane over – which happened to be the exit lane… the wrong exit, that I took anyway because it was too late to get back over. I am very, very fortune to not have hurt someone. Today I drank a Kickstart (4 hours prior), a cup of coffee (3 hours prior), and a Mountain Dew (concurrent). Even after removing nicotine from the equation, my sensitivity to caffeine is low. The more coffee and hot tea I drink, the worse my throat feels too.
Mental:
I think about caving every day. Some days a minimum of at least once every hour, other days maybe once every 3-4 hours. Outside of KTC, my quit has been like solitary confinement. Ninja dipping has led me to ninja quitting. My old mentor and my brother, both of which dip, have been reluctant to even talk about it with me even though I never pressured them to quit too. Support from my wife has been very sparse, and lessening as time passes. I have tried to explain the daily mindfuck to her. She responds with an apology for not being very active with me in my quit. Then a week passes, she sees me get a text or a call from Superman MikeW, and she sheepishly asks me how the last week went. On the evening of 199 I told her what the following day was for me. Her reply was “that’s good” and then 200 passed quietly.
I have been nicotine free for 204 days. I have not missed roll once since joining the November 2018 Nut House on day 40. The effort is there. I realize life could be much, much worse and that I don't have a leg to stand on when it comes to complaining like this. I just don’t feel like it’s getting better, physically or mentally. Is this just the life of a quitting?
Any advice, insight, or criticism is welcome.
Somehow this post was not recognized as a new one and the last update is still shown as 1/2/19. Giving it a bump to see what happens...
I just had a long message erased by a fat finger mistake, now I don't have time to re-write it all, but I think it's very important to respond promptly.
Here's the gist:
-You are going through a funk.
-Your addict-mind feeds off the funk and starts working overtime.
Yours is in overdrive.
-Keep listening and you will probably cave.
-Your situation is very common.
-Your problems are not unique
-Your wife will never understand your addiction and it's not her job to support you in this. This is our thing. She'll thank you when you change.
-Your brother is an addict, of course he doesn't want to be around you.
-Not dipping is still the best thing you can do for your health today. Period.
-It can take a long time to get your sleep cycle on track after quitting. There's a reason we say it re-wires the brain. Have you seen a sleep specialist? Do so soon.
-There are patterns of behavior and thought that don't allow recovery (re-re-wiring) to take place. Don't beat yourself up when it doesn't.
-Sometimes you have to give things time without mentally or physically throwing in the towel.
-Don't give up before the miracle happens.
-When in a funk, do something different and you will get different results.
-
2019.03.12 – 204 Days
I have a nice life, with generally very little to justifiably complain about. I have a loving wife, a healthy son, a good house, and a decent job. Problem is, I have been in my head a lot since quitting, and it is proving over and over to not be a great place to hang out. I might get crucified for this post, but I am tired of these thoughts rinsing and repeating through my mind. I read others’ introductions and journal posts, many of which describe how awesome someone feels XXX days quit, but I have yet to share that sentiment.
Physical:
Prior to quitting tobacco use, I struggled periodically with tonsil stones. In the 13 years I used smokeless tobacco, the tonsil stones likely began around year 10-11. I had always assumed that the tonsil stones were linked to my tobacco use. I have done a fair amount of research since quitting, and none of my findings to date draw that correlation. Today is 204 days clean. Since quitting, I have had a halfway sore throat behind my left tonsil, and it is still present daily. According to the ENT, this is the result of a post nasal drip. He prescribed a nasal spray that helps somewhat, but again, it has been 6+ months sans dip and it is still present. Since quitting, I have had spurts of acid reflux, which leave a lasting globus feeling just above my epiglottis. The globus feeling is still there at approximately a weekly recurrence. Since quitting, the tonsil stones have steadily returned every 4 weeks.
At times, I am also still having difficulty staying awake – like while driving to or from work, or afternoons at work. Just today, I nodded off behind the wheel on a rainy interstate highway, and then opened my eyes to find myself one lane over – which happened to be the exit lane… the wrong exit, that I took anyway because it was too late to get back over. I am very, very fortune to not have hurt someone. Today I drank a Kickstart (4 hours prior), a cup of coffee (3 hours prior), and a Mountain Dew (concurrent). Even after removing nicotine from the equation, my sensitivity to caffeine is low. The more coffee and hot tea I drink, the worse my throat feels too.
Mental:
I think about caving every day. Some days a minimum of at least once every hour, other days maybe once every 3-4 hours. Outside of KTC, my quit has been like solitary confinement. Ninja dipping has led me to ninja quitting. My old mentor and my brother, both of which dip, have been reluctant to even talk about it with me even though I never pressured them to quit too. Support from my wife has been very sparse, and lessening as time passes. I have tried to explain the daily mindfuck to her. She responds with an apology for not being very active with me in my quit. Then a week passes, she sees me get a text or a call from Superman MikeW, and she sheepishly asks me how the last week went. On the evening of 199 I told her what the following day was for me. Her reply was “that’s good” and then 200 passed quietly.
I have been nicotine free for 204 days. I have not missed roll once since joining the November 2018 Nut House on day 40. The effort is there. I realize life could be much, much worse and that I don't have a leg to stand on when it comes to complaining like this. I just don’t feel like it’s getting better, physically or mentally. Is this just the life of a quitting?
Any advice, insight, or criticism is welcome.
Somehow this post was not recognized as a new one and the last update is still shown as 1/2/19. Giving it a bump to see what happens...
I just had a long message erased by a fat finger mistake, now I don't have time to re-write it all, but I think it's very important to respond promptly.
Here's the gist:
-You are going through a funk.
-Your addict-mind feeds off the funk and starts working overtime.
Yours is in overdrive.
-Keep listening and you will probably cave.
-Your situation is very common.
-Your problems are not unique
-Your wife will never understand your addiction and it's not her job to support you in this. This is our thing. She'll thank you when you change.
-Your brother is an addict, of course he doesn't want to be around you.
-Not dipping is still the best thing you can do for your health today. Period.
-It can take a long time to get your sleep cycle on track after quitting. There's a reason we say it re-wires the brain. Have you seen a sleep specialist? Do so soon.
-There are patterns of behavior and thought that don't allow recovery (re-re-wiring) to take place. Don't beat yourself up when it doesn't.
-Sometimes you have to give things time without mentally or physically throwing in the towel.
-Don't give up before the miracle happens.
-When in a funk, do something different and you will get different results.
Snahsorg, so much everything posted above by Zeus. My fiance has not been very active in my quit either, but that is mainly due to the fact that even though I told her I was quitting, I had said that before. I think she had a hard time believing. She saw me spend a lot of time on the site and texting and all too often at times I should have been present in the moment with her. I dont have a good answer for you other than the classic "Its going to suck until it doesnt. I know that doesnt help, but it is so true. You have my number, reach out and vent anytime. If it feels like its getting too rough, call me. Today is the first time I am seeing this post and I will likely still call you later after having read this
-
2019.05.11 264 Days
Weekend observations and random thoughts:
1) Today I had a text exchange with a vet, who happens to be a relatively new brother to me. For some reason I asked him why he is quit. His answer was all the right answers, most importantly he is quit first for himself. He asked me the same in turn, of course. I told him, " Initially, I quit because I got caught and had to admit the severity of my addiction to an insurance health screener in front of my wife. Shame and embarrassment basically (I was a ninja dipper), but those both have faded with time. Now, I am trying to cement the right reasons for quitting into my life. But you know, I still hear her calling every day, 264 days in. She even invades my dreams 1-2 times a week." 264 days is something of which I should be proud, but damnit do I have a lot more fight ahead of me.
2) Dip dreams: These are frequent enough for me that I no longer wake from them in a state of panic. Am I numb to them now as a result of their frequency? Or perhaps they don't bother me anymore because I can so easily identify them as a dream upon waking up.
3) Roll call: I joined the November 2018 Nut House of Quit 40 days into my quit. Today marks 264 days quit for me. I have posted roll every day since joining, without absence. I have posted roll every day since joining, without needing a pickup. I have posted roll every day since joining, I think all of which have been before noon (the vast majority have been when I first wake up). I admire you folks who can aimlessly stroll into a roll post at any time of day. God bless you for being resolute enough in your quit to not absolutely need to post roll first thing the in the morning. When I wake up each morning, the first thing I think about is roll. Do I post roll and keep my promise? Or do I fall back into my old ways? Right now there is no in between for me.
4) Alcohol: I am realizing that since quitting dip, my alcohol consumption has gone up. Generally I only drink on Fridays and Saturdays, but the volume on these days is growing. I am not getting sloppy or doing anything regretful. Just something worth watching and keeping in check.
5) Throat ailments: SSDD.
Be well, folks. Keep fighting the good fight.
-
Do I post roll and keep my promise? Or do I fall back into my old ways? Right now there is no in between for me.
...Alcohol: ...Just something worth watching and keeping in check.
I'd say you've summed that up very neatly. No in between for me either. Either hot or cold, likewarm is no way to be. Christ himself had the same sentiment. You are wise to keep that alcohol in check. While just as insidious as nicotine, it's destructive potential is much more powerful, immediate, and reverberates much farther into your sphere of influence.
So very very pleased that you're free!
-
2020.01.09 - 507 Days
It has been quite awhile since my last post here. I have sat down numerous times over the past 6+ months to write something. When I was little, my mom would preach, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." So these numerous attempts over the last 6+ months were just that. I'd write out a rant, read it, think twice, and then delete it.
...damn am I trying to do the right thing. This ain't easy. If you are struggling well past a day count that you think shouldn't come with struggles anymore, you are not alone.
-
... I'd write out a rant, read it, think twice, and then delete it.
I do that at work....a lot
-
2020.01.09 - 507 Days
It has been quite awhile since my last post here. I have sat down numerous times over the past 6+ months to write something. When I was little, my mom would preach, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." So these numerous attempts over the last 6+ months were just that. I'd write out a rant, read it, think twice, and then delete it.
...damn am I trying to do the right thing. This ain't easy. If you are struggling well past a day count that you think shouldn't come with struggles anymore, you are not alone.
@snahsorg (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=1336) I hear you man. Check your messages. Happy to listen.
-
@snahsorg (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=1336)
Man I could have written your whole introduction. From your significant other not being involved, to feeling like I'm struggling more than others, to potentially caving at any moment, I feel like we have had very similar experiences. Unfortunately, at day 179, I have less than half the days you do. Thank you for blogging out your path. It's very helpful to know there is someone out there that has had a similar experience and is still kicking ass. Please feel free to reach out if I can help in any way.
~HAG
-
If someone could please explain to me why former mods, and might I add pillars of KTC, continue to disappear at an alarming rate, I would really appreciate it.
Delete this post and PM me if you want.
-
If someone could please explain to me why former mods, and might I add pillars of KTC, continue to disappear at an alarming rate, I would really appreciate it.
Delete this post and PM me if you want.
I have noticed that to and am curious as to why. I know that I have personally tried to be a part of other sections and have been run out because I don’t think the way they do. I just visit now and add comment sometimes but it is frustrating as it is not welcoming at all to newbies. I understand the burnout but to see the ones who just left is surprising.
-
If someone could please explain to me why former mods, and might I add pillars of KTC, continue to disappear at an alarming rate, I would really appreciate it.
Delete this post and PM me if you want.
I have noticed that to and am curious as to why. I know that I have personally tried to be a part of other sections and have been run out because I don’t think the way they do. I just visit now and add comment sometimes but it is frustrating as it is not welcoming at all to newbies. I understand the burnout but to see the ones who just left is surprising.
Ego…
I’ve seen it too many times…it’s an addict allowing themselves to feel under appreciated…not feel valued. It’s about feeling you are bigger then the site. It’s someone looking to leave and using an stupid excuse to do so.
We all get burnout. I’m burned out. I’m not leaving though. I’m ok with posting and ghosting most days. It’s about being quit and helping others be quit too. If you are here for other reasons…this isn’t the place for you.
-
If someone could please explain to me why former mods, and might I add pillars of KTC, continue to disappear at an alarming rate, I would really appreciate it.
Delete this post and PM me if you want.
I have noticed that to and am curious as to why. I know that I have personally tried to be a part of other sections and have been run out because I don’t think the way they do. I just visit now and add comment sometimes but it is frustrating as it is not welcoming at all to newbies. I understand the burnout but to see the ones who just left is surprising.
Ego…
I’ve seen it too many times…it’s an addict allowing themselves to feel under appreciated…not feel valued. It’s about feeling you are bigger then the site. It’s someone looking to leave and using an stupid excuse to do so.
We all get burnout. I’m burned out. I’m not leaving though. I’m ok with posting and ghosting most days. It’s about being quit and helping others be quit too. If you are here for other reasons…this isn’t the place for you.
Shout out to all @Administrator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=1) and @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2) - thanks to you all for all that you do here! 8)
-
If someone could please explain to me why former mods, and might I add pillars of KTC, continue to disappear at an alarming rate, I would really appreciate it.
Delete this post and PM me if you want.
I have noticed that to and am curious as to why. I know that I have personally tried to be a part of other sections and have been run out because I don’t think the way they do. I just visit now and add comment sometimes but it is frustrating as it is not welcoming at all to newbies. I understand the burnout but to see the ones who just left is surprising.
Ego…
I’ve seen it too many times…it’s an addict allowing themselves to feel under appreciated…not feel valued. It’s about feeling you are bigger then the site. It’s someone looking to leave and using an stupid excuse to do so.
We all get burnout. I’m burned out. I’m not leaving though. I’m ok with posting and ghosting most days. It’s about being quit and helping others be quit too. If you are here for other reasons…this isn’t the place for you.
Shout out to all @Administrator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=1) and @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2) - thanks to you all for all that you do here! 8)
I think a few felt under appreciated and maybe thier concerns were swept away by higher ups. Too bad some felt leaving was their only option.
Any thoughts on this @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2)
@Swilson (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=67) anything you want to add ? @MikeP15 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=41) ?
-
If someone could please explain to me why former mods, and might I add pillars of KTC, continue to disappear at an alarming rate, I would really appreciate it.
Delete this post and PM me if you want.
I have noticed that to and am curious as to why. I know that I have personally tried to be a part of other sections and have been run out because I don’t think the way they do. I just visit now and add comment sometimes but it is frustrating as it is not welcoming at all to newbies. I understand the burnout but to see the ones who just left is surprising.
Ego…
I’ve seen it too many times…it’s an addict allowing themselves to feel under appreciated…not feel valued. It’s about feeling you are bigger then the site. It’s someone looking to leave and using an stupid excuse to do so.
We all get burnout. I’m burned out. I’m not leaving though. I’m ok with posting and ghosting most days. It’s about being quit and helping others be quit too. If you are here for other reasons…this isn’t the place for you.
Shout out to all @Administrator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=1) and @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2) - thanks to you all for all that you do here! 8)
I think a few felt under appreciated and maybe thier concerns were swept away by higher ups. Too bad some felt leaving was their only option.
Any thoughts on this @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2)
@Swilson (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=67) anything you want to add ?
I cannot comment on why someone who was very engaged and a leader make a personal decision to leave the site.
One of the reasons we all take on the responsibility is to give back and pay it forward. KTC engagement is not just a mod and admin responsibility, it is every member's responsibility to get involved and hold fellow quitters accountable to the process that has allowed so many to remain nicotine free.
-
If someone could please explain to me why former mods, and might I add pillars of KTC, continue to disappear at an alarming rate, I would really appreciate it.
Delete this post and PM me if you want.
I have noticed that to and am curious as to why. I know that I have personally tried to be a part of other sections and have been run out because I don’t think the way they do. I just visit now and add comment sometimes but it is frustrating as it is not welcoming at all to newbies. I understand the burnout but to see the ones who just left is surprising.
Ego…
I’ve seen it too many times…it’s an addict allowing themselves to feel under appreciated…not feel valued. It’s about feeling you are bigger then the site. It’s someone looking to leave and using an stupid excuse to do so.
We all get burnout. I’m burned out. I’m not leaving though. I’m ok with posting and ghosting most days. It’s about being quit and helping others be quit too. If you are here for other reasons…this isn’t the place for you.
Shout out to all @Administrator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=1) and @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2) - thanks to you all for all that you do here! 8)
I think a few felt under appreciated and maybe thier concerns were swept away by higher ups. Too bad some felt leaving was their only option.
Any thoughts on this @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2)
@Swilson (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=67) anything you want to add ?
I cannot comment on why someone who was very engaged and a leader make a personal decision to leave the site.
One of the reasons we all take on the responsibility is to give back and pay it forward. KTC engagement is not just a mod and admin responsibility, it is every member's responsibility to get involved and hold fellow quitters accountable to the process that has allowed so many to remain nicotine free.
I think it is Ego. It is the ego of some of the admin who do sweep thoughts and other concerns under the rug from mods. Ironic there are 14 prior mods that have left. That’s really fucking interesting to me….
It is not ego on those that left. That’s for damn sure.
-
If someone could please explain to me why former mods, and might I add pillars of KTC, continue to disappear at an alarming rate, I would really appreciate it.
Delete this post and PM me if you want.
I have noticed that to and am curious as to why. I know that I have personally tried to be a part of other sections and have been run out because I don’t think the way they do. I just visit now and add comment sometimes but it is frustrating as it is not welcoming at all to newbies. I understand the burnout but to see the ones who just left is surprising.
Ego…
I’ve seen it too many times…it’s an addict allowing themselves to feel under appreciated…not feel valued. It’s about feeling you are bigger then the site. It’s someone looking to leave and using an stupid excuse to do so.
We all get burnout. I’m burned out. I’m not leaving though. I’m ok with posting and ghosting most days. It’s about being quit and helping others be quit too. If you are here for other reasons…this isn’t the place for you.
Shout out to all @Administrator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=1) and @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2) - thanks to you all for all that you do here! 8)
I think a few felt under appreciated and maybe thier concerns were swept away by higher ups. Too bad some felt leaving was their only option.
Any thoughts on this @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2)
@Swilson (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=67) anything you want to add ?
I cannot comment on why someone who was very engaged and a leader make a personal decision to leave the site.
One of the reasons we all take on the responsibility is to give back and pay it forward. KTC engagement is not just a mod and admin responsibility, it is every member's responsibility to get involved and hold fellow quitters accountable to the process that has allowed so many to remain nicotine free.
I think it is Ego. It is the ego of some of the admin who do sweep thoughts and other concerns under the rug from mods. Ironic there are 14 prior mods that have left. That’s really fucking interesting to me….
It is not ego on those that left. That’s for damn sure.
It's not always ego. I too left at one time, but my ego played no part of it. I starting taking it personally when quitters that I took under my wing caved. I let that fuck me up in my mind and thought the only way to get over it was walk away. If I couldn't help, what was I doing here. I am back with a different mind set, knowing people need help. I just try to look at it know like the horse to water saying. 've done my part, now do yours.
-
If someone could please explain to me why former mods, and might I add pillars of KTC, continue to disappear at an alarming rate, I would really appreciate it.
Delete this post and PM me if you want.
I have noticed that to and am curious as to why. I know that I have personally tried to be a part of other sections and have been run out because I don’t think the way they do. I just visit now and add comment sometimes but it is frustrating as it is not welcoming at all to newbies. I understand the burnout but to see the ones who just left is surprising.
Ego…
I’ve seen it too many times…it’s an addict allowing themselves to feel under appreciated…not feel valued. It’s about feeling you are bigger then the site. It’s someone looking to leave and using an stupid excuse to do so.
We all get burnout. I’m burned out. I’m not leaving though. I’m ok with posting and ghosting most days. It’s about being quit and helping others be quit too. If you are here for other reasons…this isn’t the place for you.
Shout out to all @Administrator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=1) and @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2) - thanks to you all for all that you do here! 8)
I think a few felt under appreciated and maybe thier concerns were swept away by higher ups. Too bad some felt leaving was their only option.
Any thoughts on this @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2)
@Swilson (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=67) anything you want to add ?
I cannot comment on why someone who was very engaged and a leader make a personal decision to leave the site.
One of the reasons we all take on the responsibility is to give back and pay it forward. KTC engagement is not just a mod and admin responsibility, it is every member's responsibility to get involved and hold fellow quitters accountable to the process that has allowed so many to remain nicotine free.
I think it is Ego. It is the ego of some of the admin who do sweep thoughts and other concerns under the rug from mods. Ironic there are 14 prior mods that have left. That’s really fucking interesting to me….
It is not ego on those that left. That’s for damn sure.
It's not always ego. I too left at one time, but my ego played no part of it. I starting taking it personally when quitters that I took under my wing caved. I let that fuck me up in my mind and thought the only way to get over it was walk away. If I couldn't help, what was I doing here. I am back with a different mind set, knowing people need help. I just try to look at it know like the horse to water saying. 've done my part, now do yours.
This is such a loaded question and I'd like to start out by suggesting the speculation stop. There is a lot of what happens behind the scenes keeping this site up and running that most will never be aware of. The admod team is human made up from a bunch of addicts. Some folks accept the position excited to give back but aren't aware of the time commitment. They give it a run but ultimately decide to step back to re-focus their attention back to themselves or their family/job. This has happened more frequently lately than I can ever recall in my 5+ years here.
Others have felt underappreciated or maybe like their voice isn't being heard. Some have tried to step beyond the guidance realm that is the moderator position into making decisions which is the responsibility of the admins. The second anyone thinks they are bigger or more important than the site is the moment they descend into a very dangerous area and mindset. The moderator and admin positions are not glorious - we deal with a lot of stuff on a free nicotine cessation internet forum that would frankly blow your mind. But we slog through it day after day since it's a labor of love for us who simply want to ensure as many people as possible experience freedom from nicotine like we enjoy.
Everyone reaches a burnout point - the exit of some is more noticeable when they have been around for so long and have contributed much to the site. But at the end of the day, we can't force anyone to stay here nor can we quit for them.
I will say I'm exceedingly proud of our current moderator squad and the work they have been doing around the site to increase engagement and uphold the values of KTC.
Proud to be quit with each and every one of you today.
-
If someone could please explain to me why former mods, and might I add pillars of KTC, continue to disappear at an alarming rate, I would really appreciate it.
Delete this post and PM me if you want.
I have noticed that to and am curious as to why. I know that I have personally tried to be a part of other sections and have been run out because I don’t think the way they do. I just visit now and add comment sometimes but it is frustrating as it is not welcoming at all to newbies. I understand the burnout but to see the ones who just left is surprising.
Ego…
I’ve seen it too many times…it’s an addict allowing themselves to feel under appreciated…not feel valued. It’s about feeling you are bigger then the site. It’s someone looking to leave and using an stupid excuse to do so.
We all get burnout. I’m burned out. I’m not leaving though. I’m ok with posting and ghosting most days. It’s about being quit and helping others be quit too. If you are here for other reasons…this isn’t the place for you.
Shout out to all @Administrator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=1) and @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2) - thanks to you all for all that you do here! 8)
I think a few felt under appreciated and maybe thier concerns were swept away by higher ups. Too bad some felt leaving was their only option.
Any thoughts on this @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2)
@Swilson (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=67) anything you want to add ?
I cannot comment on why someone who was very engaged and a leader make a personal decision to leave the site.
One of the reasons we all take on the responsibility is to give back and pay it forward. KTC engagement is not just a mod and admin responsibility, it is every member's responsibility to get involved and hold fellow quitters accountable to the process that has allowed so many to remain nicotine free.
I think it is Ego. It is the ego of some of the admin who do sweep thoughts and other concerns under the rug from mods. Ironic there are 14 prior mods that have left. That’s really fucking interesting to me….
It is not ego on those that left. That’s for damn sure.
It's not always ego. I too left at one time, but my ego played no part of it. I starting taking it personally when quitters that I took under my wing caved. I let that fuck me up in my mind and thought the only way to get over it was walk away. If I couldn't help, what was I doing here. I am back with a different mind set, knowing people need help. I just try to look at it know like the horse to water saying. 've done my part, now do yours.
This is such a loaded question and I'd like to start out by suggesting the speculation stop. There is a lot of what happens behind the scenes keeping this site up and running that most will never be aware of. The admod team is human made up from a bunch of addicts. Some folks accept the position excited to give back but aren't aware of the time commitment. They give it a run but ultimately decide to step back to re-focus their attention back to themselves or their family/job. This has happened more frequently lately than I can ever recall in my 5+ years here.
Others have felt underappreciated or maybe like their voice isn't being heard. Some have tried to step beyond the guidance realm that is the moderator position into making decisions which is the responsibility of the admins. The second anyone thinks they are bigger or more important than the site is the moment they descend into a very dangerous area and mindset. The moderator and admin positions are not glorious - we deal with a lot of stuff on a free nicotine cessation internet forum that would frankly blow your mind. But we slog through it day after day since it's a labor of love for us who simply want to ensure as many people as possible experience freedom from nicotine like we enjoy.
Everyone reaches a burnout point - the exit of some is more noticeable when they have been around for so long and have contributed much to the site. But at the end of the day, we can't force anyone to stay here nor can we quit for them.
I will say I'm exceedingly proud of our current moderator squad and the work they have been doing around the site to increase engagement and uphold the values of KTC.
Proud to be quit with each and every one of you today.
A more important question might be, "which of us will step in to take on the burden that each pillar held up?" George R.R. Martin wrote some good shit, but we're still waiting for more. Same with Patrick Rothfuss. At a certain point you run out of shit to say. What we need here are more Robert Jordan/Brandon Sandersons. One person can only do so much. It doesn't matter why they leave. It matters that someone else steps in to fill that role. It matters that this site continues to help people quit.
-
If someone could please explain to me why former mods, and might I add pillars of KTC, continue to disappear at an alarming rate, I would really appreciate it.
Delete this post and PM me if you want.
I have noticed that to and am curious as to why. I know that I have personally tried to be a part of other sections and have been run out because I don’t think the way they do. I just visit now and add comment sometimes but it is frustrating as it is not welcoming at all to newbies. I understand the burnout but to see the ones who just left is surprising.
Ego…
I’ve seen it too many times…it’s an addict allowing themselves to feel under appreciated…not feel valued. It’s about feeling you are bigger then the site. It’s someone looking to leave and using an stupid excuse to do so.
We all get burnout. I’m burned out. I’m not leaving though. I’m ok with posting and ghosting most days. It’s about being quit and helping others be quit too. If you are here for other reasons…this isn’t the place for you.
Shout out to all @Administrator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=1) and @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2) - thanks to you all for all that you do here! 8)
I think a few felt under appreciated and maybe thier concerns were swept away by higher ups. Too bad some felt leaving was their only option.
Any thoughts on this @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2)
@Swilson (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=67) anything you want to add ?
I cannot comment on why someone who was very engaged and a leader make a personal decision to leave the site.
One of the reasons we all take on the responsibility is to give back and pay it forward. KTC engagement is not just a mod and admin responsibility, it is every member's responsibility to get involved and hold fellow quitters accountable to the process that has allowed so many to remain nicotine free.
I think it is Ego. It is the ego of some of the admin who do sweep thoughts and other concerns under the rug from mods. Ironic there are 14 prior mods that have left. That’s really fucking interesting to me….
It is not ego on those that left. That’s for damn sure.
It's not always ego. I too left at one time, but my ego played no part of it. I starting taking it personally when quitters that I took under my wing caved. I let that fuck me up in my mind and thought the only way to get over it was walk away. If I couldn't help, what was I doing here. I am back with a different mind set, knowing people need help. I just try to look at it know like the horse to water saying. 've done my part, now do yours.
This is such a loaded question and I'd like to start out by suggesting the speculation stop. There is a lot of what happens behind the scenes keeping this site up and running that most will never be aware of. The admod team is human made up from a bunch of addicts. Some folks accept the position excited to give back but aren't aware of the time commitment. They give it a run but ultimately decide to step back to re-focus their attention back to themselves or their family/job. This has happened more frequently lately than I can ever recall in my 5+ years here.
Others have felt underappreciated or maybe like their voice isn't being heard. Some have tried to step beyond the guidance realm that is the moderator position into making decisions which is the responsibility of the admins. The second anyone thinks they are bigger or more important than the site is the moment they descend into a very dangerous area and mindset. The moderator and admin positions are not glorious - we deal with a lot of stuff on a free nicotine cessation internet forum that would frankly blow your mind. But we slog through it day after day since it's a labor of love for us who simply want to ensure as many people as possible experience freedom from nicotine like we enjoy.
Everyone reaches a burnout point - the exit of some is more noticeable when they have been around for so long and have contributed much to the site. But at the end of the day, we can't force anyone to stay here nor can we quit for them.
I will say I'm exceedingly proud of our current moderator squad and the work they have been doing around the site to increase engagement and uphold the values of KTC.
Proud to be quit with each and every one of you today.
A more important question might be, "which of us will step in to take on the burden that each pillar held up?" George R.R. Martin wrote some good shit, but we're still waiting for more. Same with Patrick Rothfuss. At a certain point you run out of shit to say. What we need here are more Robert Jordan/Brandon Sandersons. One person can only do so much. It doesn't matter why they leave. It matters that someone else steps in to fill that role. It matters that this site continues to help people quit.
Love the feed back and this is how others are informed on topics. Thank you for answering multiple questions and Thank You to the mods and admins. This site works and I appreciate all you are doing.
-
Sup @snahsorg (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=1336)
-
If someone could please explain to me why former mods, and might I add pillars of KTC, continue to disappear at an alarming rate, I would really appreciate it.
Delete this post and PM me if you want.
I have noticed that to and am curious as to why. I know that I have personally tried to be a part of other sections and have been run out because I don’t think the way they do. I just visit now and add comment sometimes but it is frustrating as it is not welcoming at all to newbies. I understand the burnout but to see the ones who just left is surprising.
Ego…
I’ve seen it too many times…it’s an addict allowing themselves to feel under appreciated…not feel valued. It’s about feeling you are bigger then the site. It’s someone looking to leave and using an stupid excuse to do so.
We all get burnout. I’m burned out. I’m not leaving though. I’m ok with posting and ghosting most days. It’s about being quit and helping others be quit too. If you are here for other reasons…this isn’t the place for you.
Shout out to all @Administrator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=1) and @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2) - thanks to you all for all that you do here! 8)
I think a few felt under appreciated and maybe thier concerns were swept away by higher ups. Too bad some felt leaving was their only option.
Any thoughts on this @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2)
@Swilson (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=67) anything you want to add ?
I cannot comment on why someone who was very engaged and a leader make a personal decision to leave the site.
One of the reasons we all take on the responsibility is to give back and pay it forward. KTC engagement is not just a mod and admin responsibility, it is every member's responsibility to get involved and hold fellow quitters accountable to the process that has allowed so many to remain nicotine free.
I think it is Ego. It is the ego of some of the admin who do sweep thoughts and other concerns under the rug from mods. Ironic there are 14 prior mods that have left. That’s really fucking interesting to me….
It is not ego on those that left. That’s for damn sure.
It's not always ego. I too left at one time, but my ego played no part of it. I starting taking it personally when quitters that I took under my wing caved. I let that fuck me up in my mind and thought the only way to get over it was walk away. If I couldn't help, what was I doing here. I am back with a different mind set, knowing people need help. I just try to look at it know like the horse to water saying. 've done my part, now do yours.
This is such a loaded question and I'd like to start out by suggesting the speculation stop. There is a lot of what happens behind the scenes keeping this site up and running that most will never be aware of. The admod team is human made up from a bunch of addicts. Some folks accept the position excited to give back but aren't aware of the time commitment. They give it a run but ultimately decide to step back to re-focus their attention back to themselves or their family/job. This has happened more frequently lately than I can ever recall in my 5+ years here.
Others have felt underappreciated or maybe like their voice isn't being heard. Some have tried to step beyond the guidance realm that is the moderator position into making decisions which is the responsibility of the admins. The second anyone thinks they are bigger or more important than the site is the moment they descend into a very dangerous area and mindset. The moderator and admin positions are not glorious - we deal with a lot of stuff on a free nicotine cessation internet forum that would frankly blow your mind. But we slog through it day after day since it's a labor of love for us who simply want to ensure as many people as possible experience freedom from nicotine like we enjoy.
Everyone reaches a burnout point - the exit of some is more noticeable when they have been around for so long and have contributed much to the site. But at the end of the day, we can't force anyone to stay here nor can we quit for them.
I will say I'm exceedingly proud of our current moderator squad and the work they have been doing around the site to increase engagement and uphold the values of KTC.
Proud to be quit with each and every one of you today.
A more important question might be, "which of us will step in to take on the burden that each pillar held up?" George R.R. Martin wrote some good shit, but we're still waiting for more. Same with Patrick Rothfuss. At a certain point you run out of shit to say. What we need here are more Robert Jordan/Brandon Sandersons. One person can only do so much. It doesn't matter why they leave. It matters that someone else steps in to fill that role. It matters that this site continues to help people quit.
Love the feed back and this is how others are informed on topics. Thank you for answering multiple questions and Thank You to the mods and admins. This site works and I appreciate all you are doing.
Thank you to all who have taken the time to read and thoughtfully respond. There is a lot to unpack here; I will do my best.
@Thefranks5 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=17642) the fact that you take the time in this intros section of the site to read and respond so often is very admirable. The most important thing you can give someone is your time, and I feel that you are giving back to KTC in a significant way.
@walterwhite (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=55) can it really be attributed to ego for every single case, apparently 14? Ego in some cases, sure, but all? Before being an admin, you were a mod; from a mod perspective did you ever feel discontent for any reason, to any level where you considered leaving? I mean no disrespect in asking. I do not pretend to know your time commitment past and present to this community. I do not not pretend to know what it means to be an admin, a mod, or even a conductor. Your contributions to this place exceed mine by 1,000-fold at the very least. But 14 mods gone is a lot to lump under a single cause of ego… insert Ron White bit https://youtu.be/vVe88DexG2w (https://youtu.be/vVe88DexG2w) for comedic relief.
@Stranger999 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=51) I agree. I know nothing about what it takes to keep this place afloat, but I am very thankful for those admins and mods that do.
@MikeW2018 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=754) how did your bunghole feel today? (Inside joke)
@oldschool (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=1411) you are right, and you continue to be a stand-up dude. Thank you.
@MikeP15 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=41) my friend, this one stings particularly hard for you and me (and many others). Hard not to get over-amped defending someone we hold so dearly.
@bubblehed668 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=1864) Thank you for coming back. Your recommitment has not gone unnoticed by me, for what it is worth.
@MNxEngineer (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=21) Once again I see you post eloquently, carefully. I am certain that you and ww are correct in some/many cases, but again, all of this apparent 14?
@Zombo Funk (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=17535) hell of a question. There are always shoes to fill and expand upon, and anyone here could point a finger at me for asking such questions without having given back enough to really “get” the situation.
All - I am going to miss my friend here, who coincidentally was the first person at KTC to extend his hand to me. I found comfort in his presence and dedication to this place, and I am surprised by his seemingly sudden departure. The hardest part is that no one I have asked to date has really given me a solid explanation. Everyone is being very careful for their respective role, allies, and group. I am going to miss my friend, and I am not sure if I’ll ever know why he left. Not even he will divulge such information; quite admirable on his part if you ask me.
-
If someone could please explain to me why former mods, and might I add pillars of KTC, continue to disappear at an alarming rate, I would really appreciate it.
Delete this post and PM me if you want.
I have noticed that to and am curious as to why. I know that I have personally tried to be a part of other sections and have been run out because I don’t think the way they do. I just visit now and add comment sometimes but it is frustrating as it is not welcoming at all to newbies. I understand the burnout but to see the ones who just left is surprising.
Ego…
I’ve seen it too many times…it’s an addict allowing themselves to feel under appreciated…not feel valued. It’s about feeling you are bigger then the site. It’s someone looking to leave and using an stupid excuse to do so.
We all get burnout. I’m burned out. I’m not leaving though. I’m ok with posting and ghosting most days. It’s about being quit and helping others be quit too. If you are here for other reasons…this isn’t the place for you.
Shout out to all @Administrator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=1) and @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2) - thanks to you all for all that you do here! 8)
I think a few felt under appreciated and maybe thier concerns were swept away by higher ups. Too bad some felt leaving was their only option.
Any thoughts on this @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2)
@Swilson (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=67) anything you want to add ?
I cannot comment on why someone who was very engaged and a leader make a personal decision to leave the site.
One of the reasons we all take on the responsibility is to give back and pay it forward. KTC engagement is not just a mod and admin responsibility, it is every member's responsibility to get involved and hold fellow quitters accountable to the process that has allowed so many to remain nicotine free.
I think it is Ego. It is the ego of some of the admin who do sweep thoughts and other concerns under the rug from mods. Ironic there are 14 prior mods that have left. That’s really fucking interesting to me….
It is not ego on those that left. That’s for damn sure.
It's not always ego. I too left at one time, but my ego played no part of it. I starting taking it personally when quitters that I took under my wing caved. I let that fuck me up in my mind and thought the only way to get over it was walk away. If I couldn't help, what was I doing here. I am back with a different mind set, knowing people need help. I just try to look at it know like the horse to water saying. 've done my part, now do yours.
This is such a loaded question and I'd like to start out by suggesting the speculation stop. There is a lot of what happens behind the scenes keeping this site up and running that most will never be aware of. The admod team is human made up from a bunch of addicts. Some folks accept the position excited to give back but aren't aware of the time commitment. They give it a run but ultimately decide to step back to re-focus their attention back to themselves or their family/job. This has happened more frequently lately than I can ever recall in my 5+ years here.
Others have felt underappreciated or maybe like their voice isn't being heard. Some have tried to step beyond the guidance realm that is the moderator position into making decisions which is the responsibility of the admins. The second anyone thinks they are bigger or more important than the site is the moment they descend into a very dangerous area and mindset. The moderator and admin positions are not glorious - we deal with a lot of stuff on a free nicotine cessation internet forum that would frankly blow your mind. But we slog through it day after day since it's a labor of love for us who simply want to ensure as many people as possible experience freedom from nicotine like we enjoy.
Everyone reaches a burnout point - the exit of some is more noticeable when they have been around for so long and have contributed much to the site. But at the end of the day, we can't force anyone to stay here nor can we quit for them.
I will say I'm exceedingly proud of our current moderator squad and the work they have been doing around the site to increase engagement and uphold the values of KTC.
Proud to be quit with each and every one of you today.
A more important question might be, "which of us will step in to take on the burden that each pillar held up?" George R.R. Martin wrote some good shit, but we're still waiting for more. Same with Patrick Rothfuss. At a certain point you run out of shit to say. What we need here are more Robert Jordan/Brandon Sandersons. One person can only do so much. It doesn't matter why they leave. It matters that someone else steps in to fill that role. It matters that this site continues to help people quit.
Love the feed back and this is how others are informed on topics. Thank you for answering multiple questions and Thank You to the mods and admins. This site works and I appreciate all you are doing.
Thank you to all who have taken the time to read and thoughtfully respond. There is a lot to unpack here; I will do my best.
@Thefranks5 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=17642) the fact that you take the time in this intros section of the site to read and respond so often is very admirable. The most important thing you can give someone is your time, and I feel that you are giving back to KTC in a significant way.
@walterwhite (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=55) can it really be attributed to ego for every single case, apparently 14? Ego in some cases, sure, but all? Before being an admin, you were a mod; from a mod perspective did you ever feel discontent for any reason, to any level where you considered leaving? I mean no disrespect in asking. I do not pretend to know your time commitment past and present to this community. I do not not pretend to know what it means to be an admin, a mod, or even a conductor. Your contributions to this place exceed mine by 1,000-fold at the very least. But 14 mods gone is a lot to lump under a single cause of ego… insert Ron White bit https://youtu.be/vVe88DexG2w (https://youtu.be/vVe88DexG2w) for comedic relief.
@Stranger999 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=51) I agree. I know nothing about what it takes to keep this place afloat, but I am very thankful for those admins and mods that do.
@MikeW2018 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=754) how did your bunghole feel today? (Inside joke)
@oldschool (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=1411) you are right, and you continue to be a stand-up dude. Thank you.
@MikeP15 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=41) my friend, this one stings particularly hard for you and me (and many others). Hard not to get over-amped defending someone we hold so dearly.
@bubblehed668 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=1864) Thank you for coming back. Your recommitment has not gone unnoticed by me, for what it is worth.
@MNxEngineer (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=21) Once again I see you post eloquently, carefully. I am certain that you and ww are correct in some/many cases, but again, all of this apparent 14?
@Zombo Funk (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=17535) hell of a question. There are always shoes to fill and expand upon, and anyone here could point a finger at me for asking such questions without having given back enough to really “get” the situation.
All - I am going to miss my friend here, who coincidentally was the first person at KTC to extend his hand to me. I found comfort in his presence and dedication to this place, and I am surprised by his seemingly sudden departure. The hardest part is that no one I have asked to date has really given me a solid explanation. Everyone is being very careful for their respective role, allies, and group. I am going to miss my friend, and I am not sure if I’ll ever know why he left. Not even he will divulge such information; quite admirable on his part if you ask me.
I realized this pretty early on during my first 100 days - you can't count on everyone here to keep posting roll or to even stay quit. This is why we build our quit chain and keep adding to it. This is why we attend quit meets and talk to other quitters on the phone. If your digit list is static you are sure to run out of supporters someday.
-
If someone could please explain to me why former mods, and might I add pillars of KTC, continue to disappear at an alarming rate, I would really appreciate it.
Delete this post and PM me if you want.
I have noticed that to and am curious as to why. I know that I have personally tried to be a part of other sections and have been run out because I don’t think the way they do. I just visit now and add comment sometimes but it is frustrating as it is not welcoming at all to newbies. I understand the burnout but to see the ones who just left is surprising.
Ego…
I’ve seen it too many times…it’s an addict allowing themselves to feel under appreciated…not feel valued. It’s about feeling you are bigger then the site. It’s someone looking to leave and using an stupid excuse to do so.
We all get burnout. I’m burned out. I’m not leaving though. I’m ok with posting and ghosting most days. It’s about being quit and helping others be quit too. If you are here for other reasons…this isn’t the place for you.
Shout out to all @Administrator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=1) and @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2) - thanks to you all for all that you do here! 8)
I think a few felt under appreciated and maybe thier concerns were swept away by higher ups. Too bad some felt leaving was their only option.
Any thoughts on this @Moderator (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=groups;sa=members;group=2)
@Swilson (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=67) anything you want to add ?
I cannot comment on why someone who was very engaged and a leader make a personal decision to leave the site.
One of the reasons we all take on the responsibility is to give back and pay it forward. KTC engagement is not just a mod and admin responsibility, it is every member's responsibility to get involved and hold fellow quitters accountable to the process that has allowed so many to remain nicotine free.
I think it is Ego. It is the ego of some of the admin who do sweep thoughts and other concerns under the rug from mods. Ironic there are 14 prior mods that have left. That’s really fucking interesting to me….
It is not ego on those that left. That’s for damn sure.
It's not always ego. I too left at one time, but my ego played no part of it. I starting taking it personally when quitters that I took under my wing caved. I let that fuck me up in my mind and thought the only way to get over it was walk away. If I couldn't help, what was I doing here. I am back with a different mind set, knowing people need help. I just try to look at it know like the horse to water saying. 've done my part, now do yours.
This is such a loaded question and I'd like to start out by suggesting the speculation stop. There is a lot of what happens behind the scenes keeping this site up and running that most will never be aware of. The admod team is human made up from a bunch of addicts. Some folks accept the position excited to give back but aren't aware of the time commitment. They give it a run but ultimately decide to step back to re-focus their attention back to themselves or their family/job. This has happened more frequently lately than I can ever recall in my 5+ years here.
Others have felt underappreciated or maybe like their voice isn't being heard. Some have tried to step beyond the guidance realm that is the moderator position into making decisions which is the responsibility of the admins. The second anyone thinks they are bigger or more important than the site is the moment they descend into a very dangerous area and mindset. The moderator and admin positions are not glorious - we deal with a lot of stuff on a free nicotine cessation internet forum that would frankly blow your mind. But we slog through it day after day since it's a labor of love for us who simply want to ensure as many people as possible experience freedom from nicotine like we enjoy.
Everyone reaches a burnout point - the exit of some is more noticeable when they have been around for so long and have contributed much to the site. But at the end of the day, we can't force anyone to stay here nor can we quit for them.
I will say I'm exceedingly proud of our current moderator squad and the work they have been doing around the site to increase engagement and uphold the values of KTC.
Proud to be quit with each and every one of you today.
A more important question might be, "which of us will step in to take on the burden that each pillar held up?" George R.R. Martin wrote some good shit, but we're still waiting for more. Same with Patrick Rothfuss. At a certain point you run out of shit to say. What we need here are more Robert Jordan/Brandon Sandersons. One person can only do so much. It doesn't matter why they leave. It matters that someone else steps in to fill that role. It matters that this site continues to help people quit.
Love the feed back and this is how others are informed on topics. Thank you for answering multiple questions and Thank You to the mods and admins. This site works and I appreciate all you are doing.
Thank you to all who have taken the time to read and thoughtfully respond. There is a lot to unpack here; I will do my best.
@Thefranks5 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=17642) the fact that you take the time in this intros section of the site to read and respond so often is very admirable. The most important thing you can give someone is your time, and I feel that you are giving back to KTC in a significant way.
@walterwhite (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=55) can it really be attributed to ego for every single case, apparently 14? Ego in some cases, sure, but all? Before being an admin, you were a mod; from a mod perspective did you ever feel discontent for any reason, to any level where you considered leaving? I mean no disrespect in asking. I do not pretend to know your time commitment past and present to this community. I do not not pretend to know what it means to be an admin, a mod, or even a conductor. Your contributions to this place exceed mine by 1,000-fold at the very least. But 14 mods gone is a lot to lump under a single cause of ego… insert Ron White bit https://youtu.be/vVe88DexG2w (https://youtu.be/vVe88DexG2w) for comedic relief.
@Stranger999 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=51) I agree. I know nothing about what it takes to keep this place afloat, but I am very thankful for those admins and mods that do.
@MikeW2018 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=754) how did your bunghole feel today? (Inside joke)
@oldschool (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=1411) you are right, and you continue to be a stand-up dude. Thank you.
@MikeP15 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=41) my friend, this one stings particularly hard for you and me (and many others). Hard not to get over-amped defending someone we hold so dearly.
@bubblehed668 (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=1864) Thank you for coming back. Your recommitment has not gone unnoticed by me, for what it is worth.
@MNxEngineer (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=21) Once again I see you post eloquently, carefully. I am certain that you and ww are correct in some/many cases, but again, all of this apparent 14?
@Zombo Funk (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=17535) hell of a question. There are always shoes to fill and expand upon, and anyone here could point a finger at me for asking such questions without having given back enough to really “get” the situation.
All - I am going to miss my friend here, who coincidentally was the first person at KTC to extend his hand to me. I found comfort in his presence and dedication to this place, and I am surprised by his seemingly sudden departure. The hardest part is that no one I have asked to date has really given me a solid explanation. Everyone is being very careful for their respective role, allies, and group. I am going to miss my friend, and I am not sure if I’ll ever know why he left. Not even he will divulge such information; quite admirable on his part if you ask me.
I realized this pretty early on during my first 100 days - you can't count on everyone here to keep posting roll or to even stay quit. This is why we build our quit chain and keep adding to it. This is why we attend quit meets and talk to other quitters on the phone. If your digit list is static you are sure to run out of supporters someday.
At the end of the day, we are all quitters. whether you are a site mod/admin, former, or none of the above. We are all humans (I hope) as well, which means we all have an ego, we all have hot button issues, and we all take things differently. At some point though we have to accept things for what they are, and above all else KTC saves lives from a terrible, nasty addiction. You want to know why anybody leaves? The answer is usually one of 3 things:
1a) "They are cured and no longer an addict"
1b) "I will always be an addict, but the only time I think of dipping is when I am on KTC so I am leaving"
1c) "I can do this on my own, and I have enough accountability."
Any other reason is just an excuse - KTC sole purpose is to help addicts quit using brotherhood and accountability. EVERYTHING else is optional and secondary. I dont care if every current or former mod and admin blocked me, and every post I made outside of roll got pissed on and ridiculed, and people even called me bad names. I would STILL post roll daily and feel like shit when I miss a day. Because only 1 thing has ever helped me quit, and I'll be damned if I am walking away from that voluntarily.
So there - I just told you the only real reasons why your friend jumped off the life boat. Better question is what are you going to do to make sure he can only swim alone for so long before drowning. You would be stunned how many days/weeks/months quitters can gut it out but the long term survival rate for your quit alone in the wild is about the same as making it to shore from that life boat in the ocean.
How well can your friend swim?
-
... I would STILL post roll daily and feel like shit when I miss a day. Because only 1 thing has ever helped me quit, and I'll be damned if I am walking away from that voluntarily...
AMEN
-
... I would STILL post roll daily and feel like shit when I miss a day. Because only 1 thing has ever helped me quit, and I'll be damned if I am walking away from that voluntarily...
AMEN
This was a great read as i think alot of people were wondering the same thing. For me its- quitting is hard, and when its not longer hard there will not be a day i wont Remember that i went through a year + of my life in the suck. there will never be a day in my life that i will forget i dipped in the first place. They will always be memories and for that simple and easy reason alone you will see my name in April 21 EDD. Thanks for the dialogue team and thanks for all you do around here.