KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum

Community => Introductions => Topic started by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 09:44:22 AM

Title: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 09:44:22 AM
At the request of one of our quit brothers, I am re-posting some of the more insightful posts of my journey to freedom here.  It’s not an introduction.  I’m an addict like the rest of you.  That’s my introduction.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 09:45:01 AM
February 26, 2016 @ 11:44 AM (day 2)
Once you figure out what you're doing with the roll, it's pretty self explanatory. Funny how some things can't really be explained, they have to be experienced.

I'm in a pretty hazy withdrawal fog today, so if I type something that doesn't make sense, call me out on it and I'll go back and edit it.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 09:45:36 AM
March 03, 2016 @ 7:52 PM
Okay, starting week #2. I'm nicotine free for the first time in I don't know how many years.

CleanFuel claims it takes about 200 days for the brain to rewire itself. Fock. I'm not going to dwell on this. I'm just going to focus on today. That's all I've got to work with.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 09:46:07 AM
March 03, 2016 @ 10:29 PM
Exercise, I've been on a strength training program with Mrs. Irish for the past year. Four routines, four sets of ten reps each, one second up, 3-5 seconds down, choose a weight where you cannot finish the fourth set. Holy fock! 30 minutes of pure hell, 3 days/week.

I realize that I have not been nicotine free for any of my adult life. What a focking waste.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 09:46:44 AM
March 04, 2016 @ 4:06 PM
Okay, day 9. I had my first triggers today. I didn't think I'd have any because I dipped all the time I was awake for 38 years.

I was helping my son in law move. During the course of loading the truck, I really wished I had a dip. Then I thought about it. If someone offered me a dip right then, would I have caved? No. After 38 years, I don't want to dip any more. It's that simple. Not easy, but simple.

So anyway, I'm going to have triggers. That's a fact. They'll probably hit when I do things that are out of routine, like during a fishing trip, or while I'm working on my car. When they happen, I will face off with them and deal with them.

I quit with you guys again today.

Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 09:47:26 AM
March 08, 2016 @ 9:22 AM
Digging a quit hole.

Okay, day #13 quit. The suck is gone, and the mind games are here. If I see anything round out of the corner of my eye, it's a can of cope. As I type this, there's a focking rubber band just in the corner of my vision. It becomes a can of Copenhagen. They said there'd be days like this.

A couple of observations I've made in this short journey:

The first one is that I'm an addict. This realization hit me during the suck, and it hit hard. I came to this site to quit, but I wasn't an addict. I wasn't addicted to nicotine, no way. I just had a strong habit that I needed to break. Now I'm a focking addict. I really hate that about myself, but I have to learn to live with it. I can't change the color of my skin, and I can't get rid of this addiction.

The second one is that I need you, all of you. I figured I could just come and post roll every day for 100 days, and then leave. I didn't need other people's phone numbers, I'm not going to cave, I'm not going to need anyone. Hah! If you're serious about your quit (and I am), then you need your brothers for support. At some point, I'm going to reach out for help. I have peoples' digits. I also reach out to others in my group that may need help. I know how hard this is for me. It's just as hard for everyone else.

Another thing I've learned is that you have to be serious to quit. That's kind of a given, once you realize you're an addict. Addiction is serious stuff.

I've also dug myself a pretty deep "quit hole". I've expressed my $.02 on a lot of topics, and become an administrator for the accountability spreadsheet. If I cave, not only will I be breaking a promise to me and all of you, I will be the biggest hypocrite this site has ever seen.

Quit on, brothers and sisters, quit on!

Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 09:48:11 AM
March 10, 2016 @ 8:14 AM
The Three Questions

Now that I've been here 33 days, I've noticed a few more cavers, and my understanding of caving has increased proportionally. (For those of you who are wondering, I'm not preparing my own cave, I'm digging my "quit hole" a bit deeper, and hoping to help some of the cavers understand why the wheels fell off their quit.)

So, after you cave, you come back here, and are presented with the demand to answer the "three questions". Before you do that, you should answer one question for yourself: "Why the fock are you here, knowing how much shite you are going to face for caving?" I can't help you answer this one. You know why you're here, and what you are going to face.

However, knowing that the general gist of your answer is that you need this place in order to quit, I suggest that you take an attitude of humble receptiveness in your re-assimilation into KTC. You are going to give answers to the "three questions". More likely than not, some of your answers will be questioned. Do not take offense at this (even when offense is intended). Most of us addicts can sniff out an addicts lie or misrepresentation, and we will be all over it. So consider the merits of each question. Search yourself for vulnerabilities, and shore them up.

Now that you have "humbled yourself up", here are some reflections that may help you answer the three questions:

1. What happened? This can be rephrased as "How did you set yourself up for failure?". When you cave, you build the scenario in which it is very easy to say "yes" to nicotine. The answer to this question sets up the answer to the next question.

2. Why did it happen? Depending on the addict, you can set yourself up for failure 10 times before you actually cave. The key word here is addict. The short answer is "I'm an addict, that's what addicts do." The long answer is much more complicated, and different for every cave. The answer to this question is the key to getting back on the quit. However, you can't get here without answering the first question first.

Being addicted to nicotine is like having a pipeline to your body, with a valve that is "normally open". Nicotine flows through this valve and into your body unless you consciously or unconsciously keep this valve shut. When you cave, you make a decision, at that particular moment, to let go of the valve.

So the answer to "why" is not "what made you do it?", it's "why did you let go of the valve?" "why did you decide, at that particular moment, not to be quit?" Don't look outside yourself for this answer. Shite happens to all of us. It's how we decide to react to this shite that makes us who we are.

We are addicts. We have to study addiction and addicts to know how to answer this question.

3. How are you going to keep it from happening again? Once you get past the second question, and understand your answer and your addiction, this one is pretty easy. Look at the tools you have at your disposal. Find out what other tools are out there that may be used. Figure out where you are most vulnerable, make plans not to make yourself vulnerable, and have an escape route when you find yourself vulnerable. That's the general answer. The specific answer for each cave must be tailored to each individual.

We are all just one bad, weak decision away from caving. This is addiction. This is serious.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 09:49:27 AM
March 17, 2016 @ 9:43PM
I'm at day 22, and it's not too bad, but I don't feel "normal". I don't remember what normal feels like. This is my first nicotine free birthday in 38 years, give or take. I'm still dealing with oral fixation thing. It's a mind game now. I'm good today. That's all that matters.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 09:50:04 AM
April 07, 2016 @ 7:52 AM
Dip Dream #1

As a newbie, you always wonder about dip dreams. Will they happen to me? What will they by like? I had my first one last night, not really a dip dream, more of a cave dream. Here's how it played out:

Mrs. Irish and I were at our daughter's house, watching a TV show about Virginia cigarettes (may have been Virginia Slims, but I don't recall "Slims" in the name.) As it would be in a dream, there just happened to be a pack sitting on the coffee table in front of me. I was curious to experience what they were describing in the show, so I took one, lit it, and smoked it.

I was reaching for the second one when I realized what I had done. A wave of panic came over me. I looked at Mrs. Irish and said "Shit! I just caved!" I thought about how I was going to explain this to my June group, and the July group that I would have to join. How could I be so stupid not to realize that a cigarette is a cigarette, and they all have nicotine? "Sneaky bitch!" I thought as I woke up.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 09:50:35 AM
April 14, 2016 @ 4:57 PM
My Quit Plan

Everyone needs one of these, right? This is a work in progress, and I will edit it as life goes on.

Post roll first thing every morning. Then go back later in the morning and post in the Party Bus a Quit, every June group, and every 2016 group.

When I get a crave, text Danojeno and ask for permission to take a dip.   So far, just thinking about doing this chases the crave away before I even touch the phone.

If Danojeno doesn't respond, go through all of my KTC phone contacts, asking permission to take a dip, until I find one that says "Yes". By the time I get to the end of the list, I'm sure my crave will be gone.

I'm open to suggestions for improvement.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 09:51:45 AM
April 20, 2016 @ 6:21 PM
The Law of Addiction

Day 55. I'm not sure why I started adding titles to my intro posts, maybe so I can find them easier. This one comes about after a discussion with kbdavear about how many times a person should be allowed to post day #1 on this site. I'm not going to go into that discussion here. You can find it in July 2016's quit group thread on April 19, 2016.

The discussion led to research. The research led to the law of addiction (https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/ffn/the-law-of-addiction-t116.html#.VxfBU3ErLRZ).

The Law is rather simple. It states, Administration of a drug to an addict will cause re-establishment of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance."

Mastering it requires acceptance of three fundamental principles:
Once you have mastered the law of addiction, there is absolutely no legitimate excuse to put nicotine into your body in any form. As a nicotine addict, you have permanently altered the way your brain functions. This cannot be undone. The only way to stay quit is to stay quit.  

There is a smoking cessation website named whyquit.com. They have zero tolerance for nicotine. You get one try per lifetime on this site. You have posting privileges as long as you remain nicotine free. If you ingest nicotine, your posting privileges are permanently revoked.

I've given this topic a lot of thought over the past two days. For now, I'm going to leave my comments brief. There is a lot to absorb in this post.

Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 09:52:38 AM
April 29, 2016 @ 10:21 AM
The Road Called Recovery

Day 65. If I didn't know any better, I would say I'm "cured". However, I do know better. I am through withdrawal, and moving down the road they call recovery. The trick now is to stay on this road and not get sidetracked into relapse.

So, I've mastered the Law of Addiction. My addiction is arrested. I'm through the withdrawal, the suck. I'm on the road of recovery. Now what? How do I stay on this road?

The first rule to recovery is: You don't recover from an addiction by stopping using. You recover by creating a new life where it is easier to not use.  
If you don't create a new life, the Nic bitch will lure you back into using her.

There are tools to help us create a new life. You can find them at www.addictionsandrecovery.org (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org). I want to discuss them briefly here because they are important.

The three tools are:

1. Avoid high risk situations.
2. Learn to relax.
3. Be honest.


Some common high risk situations are described by the acronym HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired). You can't always avoid these situations, but learn to recognize them and be on guard for the Nic bitch, because she's watching and waiting.

We used nicotine to relax. We need to find something to replace that. Drugs and alcohol are not your best choice, as these are addictive substances as well. Meditation is a good tool for relaxation. KTC had a good thread on meditation, but it didn’t get carried over to this site. I tie flies to relax. My mother played the piano to relax. (I used to think she just liked to play. Now I realize she would do it when she was upset.)

The following is a direct quote from the linked web page. I can't think of a good way to summarize it, and there are a lot of important points about being honest.

An addiction requires lying. You have to lie about getting your drug, using it, hiding its consequences, and planning your next relapse. An addiction is full of lying. By the time you've developed an addiction, lying comes easily to you. After a while you get so good at lying that you end up lying to yourself. That's why addicts don't know who they are or what they believe in.

The other problem with lying is that you can't like yourself when you lie. You can't look yourself in the mirror. Lying traps you in your addiction. The more you lie, the less you like yourself, which makes you want to escape, which leads to more using and more lying.

Nothing changes, if nothing changes. Ask yourself this: will more lying, more isolating, and more of the same make you feel better? The expression in AA is - nothing changes if nothing changes. If you don't change your life, then why would this time be any different? You need to create a new life where it's easier to not use.

Recovery requires complete honesty. You must be one-hundred percent completely honest with the people who are your supports: your family, your doctor, your therapist, the people in your 12 step group, and your sponsor. If you can't be completely honest with them, you won't do well in recovery.

When you're completely honest you don't give your addiction room to hide. When you lie you leave the door open to relapse.

One mistake people make in the early stages of recovery is they think that honesty means being honest about other people. They think they should share what's "wrong" with other people. But recovery isn't about fixing other people. It's about fixing yourself. Stick with your own recovery. Focusing on what you don't like about others is easy because it deflects attention from yourself.

Honesty won't come naturally in the beginning. You've spent so much time learning how to lie that telling the truth, no matter how good it is for you, won't feel natural. You'll have to practice telling the truth a few hundred times before it comes a little easier. In the beginning, you'll have to stop yourself as you're telling a story, and say, "now that I think about it, it was more like this..."

Show common sense. Not everybody is your best friend. And not everybody will be glad to know that you have an addiction or that you're doing something about it. There may be some people who you don't want to tell about your recovery. But don't be reluctant to tell the people close to you about your recovery. You should never feel ashamed that you're doing something about your addiction.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 09:53:41 AM
May 04, 2016 @ 4:42 PM

The Symptoms of Post Acute Withdrawal (https://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm)

Why am I doing this? Why am I posting shit on a random thread buried so deep in a random website that nobody other than myself will find it, much less read it? I used to think I was helping other people like me. Fock that. There are no other people like me, and everything I post on this thread is old news. This website is about 11 years old, and there have been 12 groups go through this process in each of the 11 years, so this path has been traveled at least 132 times. I don't have anything new to add.

I guess, like my good friend Kubiackalpha stated earlier today, "Writing is therapeutic." So I'm finished writing for a moment. Let me just post some juicy "old news" from the site I linked above.

The most common post-acute withdrawal symptoms are:
Mood swings
Anxiety
Irritability
Tiredness
Variable energy
Low enthusiasm
Variable concentration
Disturbed sleep

Post-acute withdrawal feels like a rollercoaster of symptoms. In the beginning, your symptoms will change minute to minute and hour to hour. Later as you recover further they will disappear for a few weeks or months only to return again. As you continue to recover the good stretches will get longer and longer. But the bad periods of post-acute withdrawal can be just as intense and last just as long.

Each post-acute withdrawal episode usually last for a few days. Once you've been in recovery for a while, you will find that each post-acute withdrawal episode usually lasts for a few days. There is no obvious trigger for most episodes. You will wake up one day feeling irritable and have low energy. If you hang on for just a few days, it will lift just as quickly as it started. After a while you'll develop confidence that you can get through post-acute withdrawal, because you'll know that each episode is time limited.

Post-acute withdrawal usually lasts for 2 years. This is one of the most important things you need to remember. If you're up for the challenge you can get though this. But if you think that post-acute withdrawal will only last for a few months, then you'll get caught off guard, and when you're disappointed you're more likely to relapse. (Reference: www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org)

Wait, wat??? TWO FOCKING YEARS?!?!?

I don't have two years. I can only do this for today. I can only do this for myself. Bless you Kubiackalpha, I'm depressed too.

Again, old hat, old news to most of you. I would spare you, and put it somewhere else, but you don't have to read it.

I remember when I was a kid, the first time I realized that the sun didn't actually land on that field way over there. Great focking discovery for me!! Everyone else around me already knew this. This is how I feel on this site.

Hopefully, I'll look back at this post TWO FOCKING YEARS from now and think "My God, why did I post that shite?"
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 09:54:48 AM
May 05, 2016 @ 12:36 PM

How to Survive Post-Acute Withdrawal

I feel much better than I did yesterday. I'm still in the funk, but coming out. More from the linked page of yesterday, with my comments interspersed.

Be patient. You can't hurry recovery. But you can get through it one day at a time. If you resent post-acute withdrawal, or try to bulldoze your way through it, you will become exhausted. And when you're exhausted you will think of using to escape. One day at a time. We see this a lot.

Post-acute withdrawal symptoms are a sign that your brain is recovering. Therefore don't resent them. But remember, even after one year, you are still only half way there. (Two focking years. 'facepalm'')

Go with the flow. Withdrawal symptoms are uncomfortable. But the more you resent them the worse they'll seem. You'll have lots of good days over the next two years. Enjoy them. You'll also have lots of bad days. On those days, don't try to do too much. Take care of yourself, focus on your recovery, and you'll get through this.

Practice self-care. Give yourself lots of little breaks over the next two years. Tell yourself "what I am doing is enough." Be good to yourself. That is what most addicts can't do, and that's what you must learn in recovery. Recovery is the opposite of addiction.

Sometimes you'll have little energy or enthusiasm for anything. Understand this and don't over book your life. Give yourself permission to focus on your recovery. This is key. We used nicotine to help us push ourselves. Now we have to learn not to push - and let it happen.

Post-acute withdrawal can be a trigger for relapse. You'll go for weeks without any withdrawal symptoms, and then one day you'll wake up and your withdrawal will hit you like a ton of bricks. You'll have slept badly. You'll be in a bad mood. Your energy will be low. And if you're not prepared for it, if you think that post-acute withdrawal only lasts for a few months, or if you think that you'll be different and it won't be as bad for you, then you'll get caught off guard. But if you know what to expect you can do this.

Being able to relax will help you through post-acute withdrawal. When you're tense you tend to dwell on your symptoms and make them worse. When you're relaxed it's easier to not get caught up in them. You aren't as triggered by your symptoms which means you're less likely to relapse.

Remember, every relapse, no matter how small undoes the gains your brain has made during recovery. Without abstinence everything will fall apart. With abstinence everything is possible. (Reference: www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org (http://www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org))

I hear a lot of cavers say they reached a "fuck it" point when they caved. I always wondered what "fuck it" is and how someone would find themselves there. Maybe this is it. PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms). Be on guard for this shite. It can be powerful, and the nic bitch follows in on its heels, waiting for you to get to "fuck it".
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 09:57:18 AM
May 11, 2016 @ 1:38 PM

Answering the three questions – Reprise

I am now at day 77. Two months ago, I posted some thoughts in here about how cavers should go about answering the three questions. These thoughts were based on what I had learned about addiction and caving to that point. Not having caved, I can't, and don't ever want to, speak from experience. That's a major reason why I'm so interested in the subject of addiction and relapse. It's too late for me to prevent the addiction, but I can prevent relapse, if I learn how to do it.

So what have I learned recently about caving (relapse)?

Relapse is a process, it's not an event. (https://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/relapse-prevention.htm)

It's actually a three step process, consisting of the following:

Emotional relapse.
Mental relapse.
Physical relapse.


In emotional relapse, you're not thinking about using. But your emotions and behaviors are setting you up for a possible relapse in the future.

The signs of emotional relapse are:

Anxiety
Intolerance
Anger
Defensiveness
Mood swings
Isolation
Not asking for help
Not going to meetings (or not posting on KTC)
Poor eating habits
Poor sleep habits

These signs sound familiar? Go back a few posts and read about post acute withdrawal symptoms. Seriously, learn to relax. Make sure you have others you can share this with. Recognizes these symptoms for what they are. You are moving in the direction of a cave.

If you don't get yourself turned away from caving during your emotional relapse, you will move into mental relapse.

In mental relapse there's a war going on in your mind. Part of you wants to use, but part of you doesn't. In the early phase of mental relapse you're just idly thinking about using. But in the later phase you're definitely thinking about using.

The signs of mental relapse are:

Thinking about people, places, and things you used with
Glamorizing your past use
Lying
Hanging out with old using friends
Fantasizing about using
Thinking about relapsing
Planning your relapse around other people's schedules

It gets harder to make the right choices as the pull of addiction gets stronger. If you don't catch yourself here, you will cave.

When you get the craving, play it through in your mind. Get past the cave and imagine what life then looks like. Remember posting day 1. Remember the suck. Remember how you felt when you initially tossed your can and posted day 1. That's where you will be. It will be like you never quit, because you didn't quit, you stopped.

Reach out. This is the time to open your contacts list and text or call someone and let them know what's going on with you.

Distract yourself. Go for a walk. Get on KTC and go to the Wildcard section and play "This or That", "One Word Post", or "Count to a Million".

Get through the next 30 minutes. Promise yourself to wait 30 minutes before using or buying nicotine, and then wait.

Remember one day at a time. Promise yourself you will get through today. Then go on KTC and post a promise to get through today. Post and ghost, if you have to. Just make that promise.

Do something that relaxes you (assuming this is not alcohol or drugs).

If you don't do something like mentioned above, and get yourself turned around during the mental relapse, you will find yourself in the car on the way to get nicotine. At this point, you will cave.

So, how does this change my advice on answering the three questions? The answers to the three questions lie much earlier in the caving process than I originally suspected. "What happened?" should describe the mental relapse. "Why did it happen?" should examine how the caver moves from emotional relapse into mental relapse. What will change? What will the caver change to recognize when he/she is in emotional relapse and GTFO? Nothing changes, if nothing changes.

Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 09:58:57 AM
July 01, 2016 @ 1:16 PM

Living with PAWs - day 128

Mood swings
Anxiety
Irritability
Tiredness
Variable energy
Low enthusiasm
Variable concentration
Disturbed sleep

Mrs. Irish and I started off on our daily walk with the dogs this morning. I had set two sprinklers out in the yard last evening, and ran them for a couple of hours because our grass is getting dry. The sod is less than a year old, and we are concerned that it may die if it gets too dry.

Mrs. Irish asked if the sprinklers had covered the entire yard, and I blew up. Our morning routine consists of a series of rituals that result in me leaving for work between 7:05 and 7:10. There is no room to add any tasks. Now I'm faced with repositioning the sprinklers and turning them on. I respond in an angry manner and, Mrs. Irish being who she is, took me to task.

She pointed out several occasions over the past couple of weeks where I have reacted in anger to normal life events. I hit my head on a lamp frame and let loose a long string of f-bombs, far too many than the event warranted, for example. Some of the things she told me about, I don't recall. I began to think maybe I'm losing my mind. I thought about NewTexican, and his enrollment in anger management classes.

Is this all due to quitting nicotine? Should I go back to nicotine to return to a normal life? (See how sneaky the nic bitch can be? I even had a dip dream last night.) I was totally freaked out. Then I remembered PAWs. Hell, it's in my signature. I click the link and there are the symptoms, plain as day. Anxious, irritable, tired, low enthusiasm, variable concentration, yes, that's how I feel. Damn. So, what do I do about it?

I click on the link that leads me to the  PAWs web page (https://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm).. Here, I find the beginning of my answer. I say beginning because these are general guidelines, and I have to figure out how to apply them to me, here and now. This is what I find:
"Give yourself lots of little breaks over the next two years. Tell yourself "what I am doing is enough." Be good to yourself. That is what most addicts can't do, and that's what you must learn in recovery. Recovery is the opposite of addiction.

Sometimes you'll have little energy or enthusiasm for anything. Understand this and don't over book your life. Give yourself permission to focus on your recovery."


And:

"Being able to relax will help you through post-acute withdrawal. When you're tense you tend to dwell on your symptoms and make them worse. When you're relaxed it's easier to not get caught up in them. You aren't as triggered by your symptoms which means you're less likely to relapse."

What I am doing is enough. Don't over-book myself. Learn to relax.

That's my plan.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 09:59:38 AM
July 08, 2016 @ 6:11 PM

Getting to - "Not thinking about it anymore" - day 134ish

I've read several posts, on several quit groups, where people say they've stopped posting roll because they only think about nic when they post roll. They don't want to think about nicotine anymore.

I think about nicotine every time I visit this site. In fact, I visit this site because I want to think about nicotine. I am an obsessive personality, and I'm currently obsessed with nicotine. That's why I've researched it so much, and shared most of this research in my intro thread. They say that PAWs lasts for two years. They say that, after five years, relapse is rare. After 38 years of tobacco use, 5 years is a small period of time.

There you go. I want to keep that bitch in front of me, where I can see it until my chance of relapse is rare. I've had too many times in the past 100 days that, if I didn't start the day by finding that bitch and keeping her in front of me, she would've snuck up behind me and crawled up my ass.

Not thinking about nicotine is for people who've never used nicotine. We threw that option away with the first dip or drag on a cigarette. We are addicts, and cannot become un-addicted.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 10:00:15 AM
October 24, 2016 @ 10:18 AM

Dip Dream #2 - Day 242

I convinced myself to try to test the Law of Addiction and have one pinch between my cheek and gum. I bought a log of Skoal. First, I rarely used Skoal during my 38 years of tobacco use. Second, I have never bought a log in my life. The dream ended with me looking at the top can of the log, just studying it.

I have to constantly guard against testing the Law of Addiction. I've never been quit this long. I take it on faith, this Law of Addiction, that one dip will lead me to using again; just as putting a gun to my head and pulling the trigger will lead to my death. I don't need to test these things.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 10:01:03 AM
November 05, 2016 @ 7:46 PM

The Continuing Fight With PAWs day 255

This was a brutal episode (didn't lead to a brutal cave though, haha). It came on Friday afternoon, snuck up on me. I work with Autodesk products, and if you know anything about them, you know that they can raise your level of irritability in record time. So, I'm building a 3d model of a piping system, and I can't get the damned program to put a valve in a pipe. It keeps putting it on the floor, directly below the pipe, which is 20 feet in the air. I'm screaming obscenities at my computer. It's 4:00 on Friday afternoon. My week, essentially, is over.

This particular Friday, Mrs. Irish and I are watching our grandson, Phin overnight. Phin is two days younger than my quit. He's just started crawling, and a boatload of fun. I know I'm irritable, so I make sure to watch myself around Phin. For the most part, Phin is enjoyable, but he's a baby, and babies have crying spells. I take them in stride, and don't let them bother me. This is pretty easy to do with Phin, because he's so fun when he's not crying, and he doesn't cry much.

The problem is, when you suppress your anger in one area, it pops up in another. Last night, it happened to be the KTC GroupMe's that I belong to. I started to take my anger out on them, but left the groups instead. I can't leave them all. I created the June 2016 GroupMe. The only way I can leave that group is to end it. Talk about digging a deep quit hole, this is about half of the depth of mine. The GroupMe for my quit month sits squarely on my shoulders. That's another way you guys support me and my quit. As long as you're in the GroupMe, I have to be there.

So today, I had a lot of plans. I started my day by taking my car to the dealership to get the air bag replaced. My car had one of the dreaded Takata air bags that sends shrapnel into the occupant should it deploy. I feel safer now. After that, we ate lunch and took Phin back to his parents, then off to the furniture store to pick up a bed frame that Mrs. Irish ordered. The bed frame included a head board, which didn't fit into the back of our Honda CRV. So we drive a couple of blocks to the UHaul and get a cargo van to get the thing home. My temper, for the most part, has been pretty mild through this.

We get home and I start putting the bed frame together while Mrs. Irish runs to the store to get some groceries. She gets home an hour later, and I'm still putting the bed frame together, and starting to get irritable. It's time to walk the dogs, and I still want to go to Cabela's because I have an employee discount coupon, and I want to put a new speaker cover in my car, along with a new cowl cover (that plastic piece that sits at the base of the windshield and channels rain water safely to the sides of the car). I can see that these things are not going to get done tonight, maybe not even this weekend. It's time to walk the dogs.

During the dog walk, Derby, who I'm walking, reaches down and snatches a napkin or Kleenex or something. I yell at him to drop it, and then smack him on the snout and scream at him. Finally, I pry his mouth open and scrape the paper out of his mouth. Mrs. Irish asks me wtf is wrong with me. Did something happen that's put me in this mood? Then it occurs to me, PAWs.

I look it up. It's in my signature for a reason.

"As you continue to recover the good stretches will get longer and longer. But the bad periods of post-acute withdrawal can be just as intense and last just as long."

"There is no obvious trigger for most episodes. You will wake up one day feeling irritable and have low energy."

"You'll also have lots of bad days. On those days, don't try to do too much."

I'm trying to do too much. Cabela's can wait. My car can wait. I'm just going to relax.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 10:01:49 AM
December 19, 2016 @ 8:54 PM

Dip Dream #3 - The Betrayal day 299

Really? Day 299 I have a dip dream? WTF?

It's a warm sunny day, I'm in my convertible with the top down, sitting outside a convenience store. I'd just put a pinch between my cheek and gum. WTF?

There was no lead up to this moment, no opportunity to use the tools I have at my disposal, no decision. The decision was already made. I caved. Now what? I can't hide this. I can't undo it. What's done is done. Almost 300 days wiped clean. I was chasing Suthern Gntlman's 330 days before he caved. I failed. I woke up to one of the worst feelings of my life.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 10:02:54 AM
February 24, 2017 @ 8:41 PM

1st Year Anniversary - “I got this!” Day 366

I’ve been interested, during most of my quit, on what makes a person cave. With all of the retreads I see posting a new Day 1 every day, it intrigues me. Also, it seems that retreads have a much more difficult time than first time quitters. We have people like Siren, who has had three or four tries at quitting, but never takes his quit seriously. Then we have people like Swanson Approves, who made it well past HOF, left KTC, then came back to post another Day 1, only to fade away before HOF this time.

Why does a person cave? Why is it that retreads rarely match the number of days quit as their original attempt?

I’ve been asking the wrong question. The answers to the above questions is “It doesn’t matter. Failure has all the excuses in the world.”[/size]

I should be asking “What makes a retread a successful quitter?” The answer to this question answers the question “What makes a successful quitter?” I’m going to attempt to answer this based on my knowledge of two quitters: Danojeno and suthern_gntlman. I’m sure both will be along to correct my inaccuracies.

Suthern_gntlman posted his first day one on April 29, 2015 with “Quitting for the upteenth time! This time is the last time!” But, it wasn’t.

On March 23, 2016, suthern_gntlman posted 330. The next day, he posted Day 1. Suthern_gntlman was a pretty consistent roll poster, not 100%, but he didn’t miss many days. He didn’t leave the site and then cave. Today, he posted 338. He’s surpassed his previous “attempt”. Why do I think he is now quit? Let’s see what’s different about our now quit brother:

Here is one of his responses to the three questions: “I've had problems with this site from day one. The vulgarity is a huge issue with me, not to mention having to make a promise. Because of this I don't think I was ever 100% all in. Posting roll every day, was a competition. I wasn't really posting roll to stay quit; I was posting roll because it was the thing to do.”

You can tell by this that he examined the past 330 days of his quit, and determined why he wasn’t quit yet, even though he thought he was. Let’s look at part of his response to the third question:
“Certainly this site/forum is a tool that I can use. My own personal question is how can I use this tool to better myself?
Posting roll has to be about more than just making sure I don't miss a day. I don't mean making promises I can't keep either, for I still have issues with that.
I'm talking about being more involved. I'm going to warn you though. If I get more involved, I'm going to be a pain the side for a lot of you guys/gals. The vulgarity really needs to stop
I will not be just posting in my group, but in other groups. My posts will not just be good job and way to go. I will be posting bible scripture and encouraging thoughts.
This is who I am and for me to truly be fully involved in this, I'm going to have to stay true to who I am. If this is going to be a problem, we can part ways and I will move on down the road.”
Is he doing the things he said he would do? From what I see, yes he is. One thing I want to point out is that you have to be yourself at KTC. You won’t like it here very long if you try to be someone you’re not.

Danojeno was one of the first people on KTC to really reach out to me. This was before I even knew what a retread is. He’d been quit for a year when we first exchanged texts. I’d been quit for four days. He was rock steady, and helped me get through moving my daughter and son-in-law to their new house (via text) . I had strong cravings that day.

On August 29, 2014, Danojeno posted day 62. He quit on his own, fought the battle for two months, looked for help, and found it here. He seemed to be an active member of the October 2014 group, averaging 3.2 post per day. He made it to day 246 before a “planned cave” in Las Vegas on March 1, 2015. He immediately posted Day 1 on March 2nd.

His answers to the three questions were not as introspective as suthrn_gntlman’s.

“My failure was directly linked to being complacent and not reaching out. That's what this place is all about. It's not JUST about posting roll. It is about being involved in your group. I pledge to be much more involved in actively making contact with other quitters in this group and others I so fucked-uppedly turned my back on in my hours of darkness. Let this be a loud fucking warning. I have been here before and trust me, it is so much worse a 2nd time around, I can't even explain the misery. That said, though I'm an addict, I AM stronger than these chemicals and will prove myself worthy every single day.”

However, there is a tone of repentance and determination to change in this post. Is he doing the things he said he would do? He went from 3.2 posts per day prior to his cave to 24.2 posts per day since then. I would say yes.

So, what does a person have to do to stay quit? Post roll every day? Post 3 or 4 times a day? Spend a lot of time in chat? I will offer that these are indicators of a strong quit, but in and of themselves, just doing them for the sake of doing them does not make a strong quit. A strong quit takes determination. You have to make your quit as important as anything else in your life. If you really want to stay quit, make it as important as life itself.

You wouldn’t stand on the tracks in front of an oncoming train. You need to develop that same thought towards using nicotine. When your quit is as important as eating, you don’t even think about posting roll when you get up in the morning; you just do it. You browse through the new quit groups every day or every few days, just to see what’s going on. You become interested in others’ quit because quitting is important to you. It’s like reading Sports Illustrated, HGTV, or some other enthusiast magazine.

Another thing that makes a strong quit is becoming a part of this family we call KTC. Like all families, there are members we can’t stand, members that drive us crazy, members that we pity, members that we envy, and members that we want to be with every day. Our common family bond is our addiction, which is stronger than some blood families have. We have a place that we can always call home. Good, bad, and ugly, I feel at home here.

Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 10:04:06 AM
April 07, 2017 @ 9:44 PM

Time to Leave KTC? (meet the Nic Bitch’s sister) - day 408

If you want the wise man's answer to this question, you'll find it here. (https://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?topic=331.msg14427#msg14427)

I don’t fight cravings much anymore. In fact, in the past 100 days, I’d say I’ve had about 2. However, I do have urges to leave KTC, leave the 4 GroupMe’s to which I belong, and wander off on my own. In the past 100 days, I’d say I’ve had about 27.

So, 27 urges to bolt, vs. 2 urges to cave, vs. 71 urges to stay the same.

Most days, life is good. I wake up, walk the dogs, post roll, go to work, come home, walk the dogs, piddle around the house, cook, eat, watch TV, and go to bed. At two points during these days, I get the urge to put a pinch of Copenhagen between my cheek and gums. I think about that for a minute, the whole idea, the 38 years I spent doing just that, the abrasion in my cheeks, the swallowing of tobacco juice because I just don’t spit, the enslavement. Then it’s gone. I’m out of that cage. I’m not going back.

Other days, the other 27 out of the 100, I’m down. I log on to KTC and post roll. I visit some “newbie” sites, where quitters are struggling through the first 3, 5, 10, or 100 days, and I make comments. I meet resistance, which I usually do, but on these days, I let it get to me.

IDGAF, I think to myself, but I do. I care about these people, strangers who are sharing the same addiction. Still, I want to walk away. No one knows what I’m going through. These people are anxious. I’m depressed. They don’t know. They don’t care.

Then, I get a text. “You doing okay?” Jesus, how do they know?
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 10:05:11 AM
July 17, 2017 @ 6:06 PM

Maintaining a Sense of Humor day 509

Somewhere along my quit, I lost my sense of humor. Everything became serious, urgent, and either good or bad. My sense of humor went away, and I didn't even realize it. I fought more with Mrs. Irish. She couldn't express an opinion about any topic. If I didn't agree with her, I flew into a rage. If I agreed, I'd simply mumble an acknowledgement.

Such has been my life for the past few months.

This past weekend, it came to a head. I started catching myself as I was starting to rage and just say to myself "stop!". "It's not that important." "See the humor in this." It's then that realized I'd lost my sense of humor. Nothing was funny anymore. I used to be the guy that could see humor in any situation, but that slipped away during my quit. Actually, I let it slip away.

So how did I find it? Like everything else related to fighting an addiction, it takes concious effort, until it becomes a daily habit. I started looking for the humor in every situation that I encounter. When I start to get mad, I stop and think "this has got to be funny in some way" and then I find a way to put a funny spin on it. It helps that I can laugh at myself (although I stopped laughing at myself when I lost my sense of humor, so the two must be related).

Just a quick thought for the day. I'll come back to this.

Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 10:05:54 AM
July 26, 2017 @ 10:02 AM

I am Quit
Ginet wrote:
Day 393. My quit is strong today. Several people around me spent the day packing their lip, one dip after another. I heard addict speak like "I will quit when the price goes up to $6 bucks because that is way too much money". I heard a person wanting to buy an e-Cig cuz they decided its better than smoking cigarettes. I even saw a person post a Day One here.

I watched those people around me snap the can, grab a pinch and stuff their lips. Then adjust the chaw just right with their tongue. Some spit in a use beer can, one in a bottle, another in a trash can and yet another in the sink. I smiled because it wasn't me. I am not them. I am quit.

I listened to the statement about the price of the can. I know I am an addict. They do not. They don't know what I know. I know I would continue to pay ten dollars for a can if that was the price because I am an addict. I grinned because that wasn't me. I am not them. I am quit.

I was sad to hear that one person thought an e-cig was a good idea. Not understanding how it is only a different delivery system with other risks not yet fully known. They aren't educated like I am about this now. I was thankful that wasn't me. I am not them. I am quit.

I was excited to see the post of day one in May 2015. All the emotions came flooding back to me of my day one. The beginning of the rest of my life they called it. The best decision I will ever make another echoed. Welcome to the suck they typed.

That's when I accepted it. That is me. All of it is me. I did the same. I thought the same. I lived the same. The only difference is, I'm quit. Never forget that you are an addict.....in whatever form your education, hard work, and dedication to others may be......you are still that addict.”

~Lady G ~ LF


Thank you Lady G. I shared this quote with the August 2016 group as Sacksy and I conducted them to the HOF. They're all moderators now, so you can take pride in helping them shape their quit and step up to lead others.

I place this here because it strikes a chord with me. Back in the day, before KTC, (before it existed, actually) I was trying to come up with some way to reprogram my mind to that of a non-user. You remember a time before you used nicotine? That's what I'm talking about.

But you can never go back. Hard as you try, you can never go back.

We must go forward. We go forward as Quit.

We don't have "just one" because we are now Quit.

We've moved through life. At one point we were non-users. Then we became users. Then we became addicts. Now we are quit.

Stay quit.

Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 10:07:29 AM
September 19, 2017 @ 9:16 PM

Dip Dream #4 (I think). Day 573

No lead in to this one. Just a flash, a pinch between my cheek and gum, the squeeze forcing the juice out where I could taste it. The the aftermath. It was just a pinch. Does this ruin my quit?

Yeah, it does. You can't have just one.

Dream on, nic. I'm not coming back.

Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on November 25, 2018, 10:08:10 AM
May 04, 2018 @ 9:37 PM

The Value of Documenting Your Journey

I really was on a search for more on the topic of the law of addiction, in "Freedom from Nicotine"  (https://whyquit.com/ffn/index.html)when I found this:

While "one day at a time" is an excellent victory yardstick, imagine the value of being able to look back and see what each day was like. Consider jotting down a few calendar notes or diary entries about what early recovery was like and the challenges overcome. Although not necessary to success, doing so could prove valuable later.

Why would anyone want to vividly recall the first few days of recovery, days which could reflect a blend of frustrations, anxieties, crave episodes, anger, bargaining and sadness? The same reason we need to remember, in as much detail as possible, daily life as an actively feeding nicotine addict.

We've all heard that "those who forget the past are destined to repeat it." It's hard to imagine a situation where it rings truer than with drug recovery and relapse. Humans tend to repress and inhibit negative emotional memories, and emotional experiences in general.146 Instead, we remember and replay the good, while forgetting the bad.

Imagine if it were otherwise. A vivid picture of all the pain, anxiety and hurt of all our yesterdays would be a heavy burden to bear. While your mind may quickly suppress memories of the challenges overcome, ink on paper or words typed into a computer are durable. The best way to protect against complacency isn't by forgetting what bondage or recovery was like, but by accurately recalling them.

It's wise to make a record of both the reasons you want to break free and what the first couple of weeks were like. Consider sending yourself an e-mail before bed. And here's an example of why.

Imagine hitting what feels like a recovery plateau, where you no longer sense improvement. Imagine feeling stuck and wondering if it's going to remain this way for good, as if a rose bud had stopped opening.

Now imagine being able to look back and read your own progress notes. Like having a medical chart during a hospital stay, your record can provide accurate perspective of how far you've come. It can help calm concerns that recovery has stalled. Although at times nearly impossible to see, I assure you, recovery's rose bud continues to slowly unfold.

Consider it a present gift of future memory. Consider it free relapse insurance. A few memory jogging notes when starting out could become invaluable during challenge, lulls or once complacency arrives.


I did this, for my first two years. I still go back to it when I feel the need. It's like a soft leather chair. I find comfort there. If you are in the early stages of recovery, I urge you to do this. If you are in later stages, find someone who is in their early stages, help them through it, and document that process.

Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: Athan on November 25, 2018, 12:33:40 PM
Can't thank you enough Irish.  Can't tell you how many times I've read through this.  It was the foundation and nourishment to my quit.
It is said that any fool can count the apples on a tree, only God can count the trees in an apple seed.
God bless you and keep you, for you have planted many, many seeds.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: SRains918 on November 26, 2018, 01:59:12 PM
Can't thank you enough Irish.  Can't tell you how many times I've read through this.  It was the foundation and nourishment to my quit.
It is said that any fool can count the apples on a tree, only God can count the trees in an apple seed.
God bless you and keep you, for you have planted many, many seeds.
Man, I'm so glad to see this here. My little black heart skipped a beat when I saw it!!!

This was all sooooo important to me when I first quit and is something I kept going back to over and over and still do. I finally stole a bunch of it from Tapa and quoted it into MY intro just so it would be accessible (full credit, of course).

Thank you!!!
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: Croakenhagen on December 12, 2018, 11:32:38 PM
I am still a relatively new quitter compared to most here. I will say this, posts like these are what keep me going, brother. I read these and see how I felt at many points in my quit thus far. Thank you for bringing these over.

Croak - day 169 and incredibly thankful for veteran quitters like yourself, Irish!
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on January 16, 2019, 10:26:23 AM
Deciding vs Wanting

If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it.

You did that when you started posting roll here.  You wanted to quit.  You learned that the price of freedom from nicotine is to post roll here every day.  You decided to pay the price and now you are here, free from nicotine. 

How long did you want to quit before you decided to quit?

What else do you want out of life?  When will you decide to pay the price and get it?  Don't waste your life wanting.  Decide!
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on February 25, 2019, 07:27:15 PM
Goals are for Losers?

Do you have a goal, or several?  Is your goal to make it to the HOF at 100 days quit?  Until you reach that magical 100 days, it's still in the future.  You haven't met your goal.  You're a loser until you meet that goal.  Then you need another goal, or else you're lost, like a ship without a rudder, spinning around at sea.

ODAAT - One Day At A Time.  Do you wonder why we stress this?  Anyone can quit for a day.  Hell, you can do practically anything for a day.

Throw out your goal, and replace it with a system.  What is a system?  It's something you can do now, and repeat, that takes you in the direction you want to go.

Do you want to have your natural teeth when you're 80?  Brush your teeth when you get up in the morning and before you go to bed, and floss once per day.

Do you want to be healthy?  Find a meal plan that you can live with every day, and adopt that meal plan every day.  Also exercise every day, even if it's a mile walk.

Do you want freedom from nicotine?  Make a promise on a website to a few hundred other addicts every day that you will not use nicotine today.  Then keep that promise.

Three years ago today, I threw out a fresh can of Copenhagen and promised not to use nicotine that day.  Every day since then, I have posted that promise on a website.  I used to long for the day that I wouldn't have to post that promise. 

Now, I embrace that promise.  It's my system for success!
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on February 26, 2019, 08:55:04 PM
Not sure what's happened to the intro section.  At least in my case, people seem to read, but not comment.  It's kind of sad.

I just made a bold statement that goals are for losers, and then made an argument for adopting systems instead of goals.  Yet, I used goals to support using systems to achieve these goals.

What goals did I list? 

Surely you guys are smart enough to challenge me when I do this.

Am I off limits because I've been free from nicotine for 3 years?  I still make a conscience decision to quit every day, just like you.

Feel free to push back.  This is life.  This is important.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: Skolvikings on February 26, 2019, 11:21:13 PM
Not sure what's happened to the intro section.  At least in my case, people seem to read, but not comment.  It's kind of sad.

I just made a bold statement that goals are for losers, and then made an argument for adopting systems instead of goals.  Yet, I used goals to support using systems to achieve these goals.

What goals did I list? 
  • Having your natural teeth at age 80.
  • Be healthy.
  • Freedom from nicotine.

Surely you guys are smart enough to challenge me when I do this.

Am I off limits because I've been free from nicotine for 3 years?  I still make a conscience decision to quit every day, just like you.

Feel free to push back.  This is life.  This is important.

I love what you are saying and take it as law.


Yes you are off limits as you are a Yoda of quit that many of us look up to as a back lit pedestal of quit knowledge.


This is a honest, genuine, and sincere compliment.... thank you for being you.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: AppleJack on February 27, 2019, 10:49:29 AM
Not sure what's happened to the intro section.  At least in my case, people seem to read, but not comment.  It's kind of sad.

I just made a bold statement that goals are for losers, and then made an argument for adopting systems instead of goals.  Yet, I used goals to support using systems to achieve these goals.

What goals did I list? 
  • Having your natural teeth at age 80.
  • Be healthy.
  • Freedom from nicotine.

Surely you guys are smart enough to challenge me when I do this.

Am I off limits because I've been free from nicotine for 3 years?  I still make a conscience decision to quit every day, just like you.

Feel free to push back.  This is life.  This is important.
I’ll bite... I’ve been around longer than you even ;)

Goals and systems exist for each other. Why have a system to follow when you have no goal? Goals by themselves are just a desired outcome and mean nothing. I can set goals all I want but, so what? It’s just talk. I can follow a system all damn day but without an end result being worked towards it’s just pointless busywork.

Goals really aren’t for losers... you need them to keep moving forward and growing and evolving... BUT... without a system in place to reach it you’re gonna lose and end up trying over and over and...

We hate that here.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on February 27, 2019, 07:31:44 PM
Not sure what's happened to the intro section.  At least in my case, people seem to read, but not comment.  It's kind of sad.

I just made a bold statement that goals are for losers, and then made an argument for adopting systems instead of goals.  Yet, I used goals to support using systems to achieve these goals.

What goals did I list? 
  • Having your natural teeth at age 80.
  • Be healthy.
  • Freedom from nicotine.

Surely you guys are smart enough to challenge me when I do this.

Am I off limits because I've been free from nicotine for 3 years?  I still make a conscience decision to quit every day, just like you.

Feel free to push back.  This is life.  This is important.
I’ll bite... I’ve been around longer than you even ;)

Goals and systems exist for each other. Why have a system to follow when you have no goal? Goals by themselves are just a desired outcome and mean nothing. I can set goals all I want but, so what? It’s just talk. I can follow a system all damn day but without an end result being worked towards it’s just pointless busywork.

Goals really aren’t for losers... you need them to keep moving forward and growing and evolving... BUT... without a system in place to reach it you’re gonna lose and end up trying over and over and...

We hate that here.

Exactly!  I should pause here and credit my "Goals are for Losers" post to Scott Adams (author of Dilbert) in his latest book "How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big", which is a good read, btw.

It kind of follows something that's been with me all of my life: every action you take moves you closer to, or farther from your goals.  The idea of using a defined system came from Scott.

I can look at my life and see the systems I've used to become a better version of myself.  I can't say that I consciously constructed these systems.  They are just habits I've adopted.

The trick with goals is to make them more general, as in "I want to be fit and trim" rather than "I want to lose 50 lbs by this time next year".  Then you can find a system to move you in the right direction, every day.

Sometimes you have to put a time limit on it, which is usually "now".  When you lose your job, for example, or want to quit nicotine.
Title: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on February 25, 2016, 02:55:00 PM
Index:
My Quit Rage - Hour 30 (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11536813/4/?x=90#post9629545)
Digging a quit hole  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/1/?x=90#post9650466)
The Three Questions  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/1/?x=90#post9654281)
You only quit when you die  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/1/?x=90#post9695348)
The Lessons of Bowe  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/1/?x=90#post9702280)
Dip Dream #1  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/1/?x=90#post9712088)
My Quit Plan  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/1/?x=90#post9728658)
The Law of Addiction  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/1/?x=90#post9740764)
The Road Called Recovery  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/1/?x=90#post9760421)
The Symptoms of Post-Acute Withdrawal  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/1/?x=90#post9771916)
How to Survive Post-Acute Withdrawal  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/1/?x=90#post9773307)
 Answering the three questions - Reprise  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/1/?x=90#post9785911)
Fences (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/1/?x=90#post9795200)
 100 Days In - Now What?  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/1/?x=90#post9832294)
 Living with PAWs  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/1/?x=90#post9885371)
 Getting to - "Not thinking about it anymore"  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/2/?x=90#post9898387)
 No Excuse To Cave - NONE!  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/2/?x=90#post9909670)
 Lessons from TEC  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/2/?x=90#post11089795)
 The Continuing Fight With PAWs  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/2/?x=90#post11142974)
 Thoughts on GroupMe  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/2/?x=90#post11264482)
 1st Year Anniversary - “I got this!”  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/2/?x=90#post11382982)
 Fuck It  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/2/?x=90#post11416670)
 Time to Leave KTC? (meet the Nic BitchÂ’s sister)  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/2/?x=90#post11488232)
 When Do I Get Back To Normal?  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/2/?x=90#post11589698)
 I am Quit  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/2/?x=90#post11740320)
 The Value of Documenting Your Journey  (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11541810/3/?x=90#post12492876)
Hi all. I'll be 56 years old in less than a month. I've been chewing tobacco products since I was 18. When in college, I learned not to spit so I could chew while in class. I've switched back and forth between loose leaf and the can throughout the years, depending on the cost of the product. At last count, I was going through 2 cans per week. That may not sound like a lot, but remember, I wasn't wasting any nicotine.

So, why do I want to quit at this stage of life? That's a good question, and it boils down to health in general and blood pressure in particular.

A year and a half ago, my wife, worried about muscular atrophy in people 50+ years old, got us involved in a strength training routine. I noticed myself getting slimmer and trimmer and stronger at the same time. Now, I'm about as healthy as I can be except for my blood pressure, which is not quite high enough to take medication. I don't take medication, except for the occasional infection, and I don't want to spend my final days taking pills every day.

Doing a little research, I found three things I consume that will raise a person's blood pressure: nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol. I'm addicted to all three. I'm not an alcoholic, but I drink more than I should on a daily basis.

I decided to take these addictions on one at a time. Nicotine is first. The mother of all addictive substances. I decided to give it up for Lent, figuring if I can make it 40 days, then I'm home free. I made it through Ash Wednesday and the following Thursday and Friday. I went through all of the shite we go through in the first three days and was really, extremely, irritable. I caved on Saturday, telling myself that I can wean myself off this stuff. I've been weaning myself since then, and it's not working.

So here I am. I quit today. I can make it through today. Tomorrow's another day, and I'll have to quit again. I know I can't do this alone. I need help. That's why I'm here.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: emc4 on February 25, 2016, 03:34:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
Hi all. I'll be 56 years old in less than a month. I've been chewing tobacco products since I was 18. When in college, I learned not to spit so I could chew while in class. I've switched back and forth between loose leaf and the can throughout the years, depending on the cost of the product. At last count, I was going through 2 cans per week. That may not sound like a lot, but remember, I wasn't wasting any nicotine.

So, why do I want to quit at this stage of life? That's a good question, and it boils down to health in general and blood pressure in particular.

A year and a half ago, my wife, worried about muscular atrophy in people 50+ years old, got us involved in a strength training routine. I noticed myself getting slimmer and trimmer and stronger at the same time. Now, I'm about as healthy as I can be except for my blood pressure, which is not quite high enough to take medication. I don't take medication, except for the occasional infection, and I don't want to spend my final days taking pills every day.

Doing a little research, I found three things I consume that will raise a person's blood pressure: nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol. I'm addicted to all three. I'm not an alcoholic, but I drink more than I should on a daily basis.

I decided to take these addictions on one at a time. Nicotine is first. The mother of all addictive substances. I decided to give it up for Lent, figuring if I can make it 40 days, then I'm home free. I made it through Ash Wednesday and the following Thursday and Friday. I went through all of the shite we go through in the first three days and was really, extremely, irritable. I caved on Saturday, telling myself that I can wean myself off this stuff. I've been weaning myself since then, and it's not working.

So here I am. I quit today. I can make it through today. Tomorrow's another day, and I'll have to quit again. I know I can't do this alone. I need help. That's why I'm here.
First, welcome to freedom! You are making one of, if not the best decisions of your life. At this point, it doesn't matter how long you were using or how old you are; what matters is you are quit. I see you already posted roll in the June '16 quit group. Well done! Now keep your promise for today, and right when you wake up tomorrow morning, post your # of days quit and your promise to stay quit for that day.

As an addict (as all of us are), there is no such thing as "home free" after a certain period of time. Look around this site and see how late in the game some of these guys have caved. They lost focus, thought they had it figured out, got away from this site and the tools/support it provides and fell right back into the addiction. You can't get complacent and you have to stay vigilant and committed. You do that by taking it one day at a time, every damn day (ODAATEDD). Post roll first thing every day, and stay engaged with your quit group. Get some tools ready to help get through the tough times. Sunflower seeds, gum, mints, cranberry juice, water...always have something at the ready for when that craving hits.

Looks like you had a false start and figured out weaning doesn't work. It doesn't...you're either quit or you're not. Now you are quit, so don't look back. We're all here to help so use the support at your fingertips. Glad to be quit with you today and just watch how your life will dramatically improve over the coming days, weeks, months, etc.

Look forward to seeing you on roll tomorrow
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: RDB on February 25, 2016, 03:42:00 PM
I'm 25 years into my addiction, and you hit the nail on the head. One day at a time. Quit today, stay quit all day, quit again tomorrow. Quit one day at a time for the rest of your life.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Idaho Spuds on February 25, 2016, 04:06:00 PM
Welcome,
Nice work posting roll. My blood pressure has improved dramatically since I quit.
Read up and get active, focus your energy and stay active.
Look forward to quitting with you,
Idaho Spuds 556
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on February 25, 2016, 05:09:00 PM
Quote from: Idaho
Welcome,
Nice work posting roll. My blood pressure has improved dramatically since I quit.
Read up and get active, focus your energy and stay active.
Look forward to quitting with you,
Idaho Spuds 556
Thanks. When I attempted to post roll using the listed steps:

Instructions for posting roll:
1. Quote the LATEST roll post. - I did this okay.
2. Left click the bottom box. - The bottom box is the "Post Reply" box. I left clicked it, thinking it wouldn't post unless I had typed something along with the quote.

So now I'm staring at my non-reply to the quoted roll post. I had to edit the post and take out the "quote" brackets, and then put my post in there. It worked out okay, and I can do this in the future, but I would like to know what this "bottom box" looks like.

Can someone post a screen shot?
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Corbin on February 25, 2016, 05:20:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: Idaho
Welcome,
Nice work posting roll. My blood pressure has improved dramatically since I quit.
Read up and get active, focus your energy and stay active.
Look forward to quitting with you,
Idaho Spuds 556
Thanks. When I attempted to post roll using the listed steps:

Instructions for posting roll:
1. Quote the LATEST roll post. - I did this okay.
2. Left click the bottom box. - The bottom box is the "Post Reply" box. I left clicked it, thinking it wouldn't post unless I had typed something along with the quote.

So now I'm staring at my non-reply to the quoted roll post. I had to edit the post and take out the "quote" brackets, and then put my post in there. It worked out okay, and I can do this in the future, but I would like to know what this "bottom box" looks like.

Can someone post a screen shot?
Welcome my Friend.

28 year user here, if I can do it so can you. You have to develop a hatred for the Nic Bitch and how she controlled you for so many years, slowly killing yourself. Demand your Freedom.

Go to You tube and look for instruction to post on Kill the Can. They have videos for how to post on phones or computers. This is the only way I figured it out.

PM me anytime.

I quit with you today.

Corbin 344
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: KSO FTZ on February 26, 2016, 02:33:00 AM
Quote from: corbin
22 years on that shit for me. you got the idea right......post roll every day. keep shit out of your mouth. support other quiters. done. that's it. quit with you today brother!!!!! gonna quit with you tomorrow too...and the next...and the next.
Ftz
kso
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Nomore1959 on February 26, 2016, 05:54:00 AM
Seems were roughly the same age. Your quit will do wonders for bp with bonus help on cholesterol numbers -- my quit has. On the roll post, "cut" then leave the lower box empty. That too gets easier over time.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Cope30 on February 26, 2016, 09:21:00 AM
Quote from: wildirish317
Hi all. I'll be 56 years old in less than a month. I've been chewing tobacco products since I was 18. When in college, I learned not to spit so I could chew while in class. I've switched back and forth between loose leaf and the can throughout the years, depending on the cost of the product. At last count, I was going through 2 cans per week. That may not sound like a lot, but remember, I wasn't wasting any nicotine.

So, why do I want to quit at this stage of life? That's a good question, and it boils down to health in general and blood pressure in particular.

A year and a half ago, my wife, worried about muscular atrophy in people 50+ years old, got us involved in a strength training routine. I noticed myself getting slimmer and trimmer and stronger at the same time. Now, I'm about as healthy as I can be except for my blood pressure, which is not quite high enough to take medication. I don't take medication, except for the occasional infection, and I don't want to spend my final days taking pills every day.

Doing a little research, I found three things I consume that will raise a person's blood pressure: nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol. I'm addicted to all three. I'm not an alcoholic, but I drink more than I should on a daily basis.

I decided to take these addictions on one at a time. Nicotine is first. The mother of all addictive substances. I decided to give it up for Lent, figuring if I can make it 40 days, then I'm home free. I made it through Ash Wednesday and the following Thursday and Friday. I went through all of the shite we go through in the first three days and was really, extremely, irritable. I caved on Saturday, telling myself that I can wean myself off this stuff. I've been weaning myself since then, and it's not working.

So here I am. I quit today. I can make it through today. Tomorrow's another day, and I'll have to quit again. I know I can't do this alone. I need help. That's why I'm here.
Congrats on the quit. The BROTHERHOOD is behind you in this fight. Exchange some digits with your group or who ever, it will help you when you need to rant at some point in your Quit
I quit with you today.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on February 26, 2016, 11:44:00 AM
Quote from: Nomore1959
Seems were roughly the same age. Your quit will do wonders for bp with bonus help on cholesterol numbers -- my quit has. On the roll post, "cut" then leave the lower box empty. That too gets easier over time.
Thanks. Once you figure out what you're doing with the roll, it's pretty self explanatory. Funny how some things can't really be explained, they have to be experienced.

I'm in a pretty hazy withdrawal fog today, so if I type something that doesn't make sense, call me out on it and I'll go back and edit it.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: DeskJockey on February 26, 2016, 07:35:00 PM
Good introductory posts, wildirish! I'm a 30-year chewer and dipper and can relate to learning not to spit and also going through "only" two cans per week. Lots of guys here say they did that in a day, and I don't see how, unless they kept spitting out one dip and putting another one in every ten or fifteen minutes. I'd put in a dip and leave it for an hour or two!

Glad you're here. You can do this. The quitting fog will be around for a while, and if you're like me, you'll have mysterious aches and pains as well, but keep up the good fight and you'll be over the hardest part before you know it!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on February 26, 2016, 07:49:00 PM
Quote from: DeskJockey
Good introductory posts, wildirish! I'm a 30-year chewer and dipper and can relate to learning not to spit and also going through "only" two cans per week. Lots of guys here say they did that in a day, and I don't see how, unless they kept spitting out one dip and putting another one in every ten or fifteen minutes. I'd put in a dip and leave it for an hour or two!

Glad you're here. You can do this. The quitting fog will be around for a while, and if you're like me, you'll have mysterious aches and pains as well, but keep up the good fight and you'll be over the hardest part before you know it!
Thanks man. I told Mrs. Irish that she will have to put up with my irritability this weekend.

Which, btw, I'm glad it's the weekend. A lot of people are posting on my roll call to be wary of the weekend, but I need to be away from work to do this. I certainly don't want to lash out at people, and I almost came home "sick" today just to take a nap.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: worktowin on February 26, 2016, 10:33:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: DeskJockey
Good introductory posts, wildirish! I'm a 30-year chewer and dipper and can relate to learning not to spit and also going through "only" two cans per week. Lots of guys here say they did that in a day, and I don't see how, unless they kept spitting out one dip and putting another one in every ten or fifteen minutes. I'd put in a dip and leave it for an hour or two!

Glad you're here. You can do this. The quitting fog will be around for a while, and if you're like me, you'll have mysterious aches and pains as well, but keep up the good fight and you'll be over the hardest part before you know it!
Thanks man. I told Mrs. Irish that she will have to put up with my irritability this weekend.

Which, btw, I'm glad it's the weekend. A lot of people are posting on my roll call to be wary of the weekend, but I need to be away from work to do this. I certainly don't want to lash out at people, and I almost came home "sick" today just to take a nap.
I was on bp meds, Lipitor, and type 2 diabetes meds when I quit.

They are all in the trash now. Nicotine can fuck off.

Not taking meds is great. Feeling 20 years younger is great. Not being terrified every time my lip hurt is great. Saving money is great. Not hiding and lying is great.

But dude, the sense of freedom from not, consciously or unconsciously, planning damn near every minute around making sure my blood nicotine levels were satisfied... Is not something that I or any other quitter can adequately put into words. Right now you are an angry addict fighting hard. I promise you, scouts honor, that there is a sense of pride and peace ahead that you are not anticipating and can not imagine.

Welcome to Ktc. Posting is not easy or intuitive as you've discovered. If you mess up roll - someone will fix it. You'll get better at it. In the meantime, just focus on today. Very very very bright days are ahead. If I can help at all - shoot me a pm

-w2w
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on March 03, 2016, 04:46:00 PM
Okay, starting week #2. I'm nicotine free for the first time in I don't know how many years.

CleanFuel claims it takes about 200 days for the brain to rewire itself. Fock. I'm not going to dwell on this. I'm just going to focus on today. That's all I've got to work with.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: copingwithoutcopen on March 03, 2016, 07:52:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
Okay, starting week #2. I'm nicotine free for the first time in I don't know how many years.

CleanFuel claims it takes about 200 days for the brain to rewire itself. Fock. I'm not going to dwell on this. I'm just going to focus on today. That's all I've got to work with.
We did a lot of damage to ourselves over the years. It's gonna take some time, brudda. Odaat. You should feel a little better each day, though. Just when the physical symptoms begin to subside, there's a psychological aspect that tries to lower your resolve but we fight through. We don't quit the quit. You just gotta show up each day. Forget about tomorrow.

I know you've probably heard all this but exercise will sweat out the poison a little faster, keep you occupied and raise your dopamine levels. Hydrate like you're never gonna see water again to reduce headaches. Trident gum gives your mouth something to do, freshens your dank breath and doesn't have any caffeine.

I found this article a great read early on...
http://whyquit.com/whyquit/A_Symptoms.html (http://whyquit.com/whyquit/A_Symptoms.html)
Goo stuff. Quit on!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: copingwithoutcopen on March 03, 2016, 07:58:00 PM
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: wildirish317
Okay, starting week #2. I'm nicotine free for the first time in I don't know how many years.

CleanFuel claims it takes about 200 days for the brain to rewire itself. Fock. I'm not going to dwell on this. I'm just going to focus on today. That's all I've got to work with.
We did a lot of damage to ourselves over the years. It's gonna take some time, brudda. Odaat. You should feel a little better each day, though. Just when the physical symptoms begin to subside, there's a psychological aspect that tries to lower your resolve but we fight through. We don't quit the quit. You just gotta show up each day. Forget about tomorrow.

I know you've probably heard all this but exercise will sweat out the poison a little faster, keep you occupied and raise your dopamine levels. Hydrate like you're never gonna see water again to reduce headaches. Trident gum gives your mouth something to do, freshens your dank breath and doesn't have any caffeine.

I found this article a great read early on...
http://whyquit.com/whyquit/A_Symptoms.html (http://whyquit.com/whyquit/A_Symptoms.html)
Goo stuff. Quit on!
http://whyquit.com/whyquit/LinksAAddiction.html (http://whyquit.com/whyquit/LinksAAddiction.html)

This is pretty good, too. Same guy. Know thy enemy!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on March 03, 2016, 10:29:00 PM
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
I know you've probably heard all this but exercise will sweat out the poison a little faster, keep you occupied and raise your dopamine levels.

This is pretty good, too. Same guy. Know thy enemy!
Exercise, yes, I've been on a strength training program with Mrs. Irish for the past year. Four routines, four sets of ten reps each, one second up, 3-5 seconds down, choose a weight where you cannot finish the fourth set. Holy fock! 30 minutes of pure hell, 3 days/week.

Your links are spot on! Reading them, I realize that I have not been nicotine free for any of my adult life. What a focking waste.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on March 04, 2016, 04:06:00 PM
Okay, day 9. I had my first triggers today. I didn't think I'd have any because I dipped all the time I was awake for 38 years.

I was helping my son in law move. During the course of loading the truck, I really wished I had a dip. Then I thought about it. If someone offered me a dip right then, would I have caved? No. After 38 years, I don't want to dip any more. It's that simple. Not easy, but simple.

So anyway, I'm going to have triggers. That's a fact. They'll probably hit when I do things that are out of routine, like during a fishing trip, or while I'm working on my car. When they happen, I will face off with them and deal with them.

I quit with you guys again today.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on March 06, 2016, 09:28:00 PM
Day 11. Not much different. Not as dizzy today.

Had to snatch this quote from ChickDip. It has a lot of resources that I may want to pass on. I can always find it here.
Quote from: ChickDip
How to post roll video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBoCAii ... e=youtu.be (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBoCAiiDNyg&feature=youtu.be)

or how to post roll from written directions
topic/1003072/1/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/1003072/1/)

New Quitter Hints and Helps

http://www.killthecan.org/heres-how-you ... court-now/ (http://www.killthecan.org/heres-how-you-quit-ball-is-in-your-court-now/)
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on March 08, 2016, 09:22:00 AM
Digging a quit hole.

Okay, day #13 quit. The suck is gone, and the mind games are here. If I see anything round out of the corner of my eye, it's a can of cope. As I type this, there's a focking rubber band just in the corner of my vision. It becomes a can of Copenhagen. They said there'd be days like this.

A couple of observations I've made in this short journey:

The first one is that I'm an addict. This realization hit me during the suck, and it hit hard. I came to this site to quit, but I wasn't an addict. I wasn't addicted to nicotine, no way. I just had a strong habit that I needed to break. Now I'm a focking addict. I really hate that about myself, but I have to learn to live with it. I can't change the color of my skin, and I can't get rid of this addiction.

The second one is that I need you, all of you. I figured I could just come and post roll every day for 100 days, and then leave. I didn't need other people's phone numbers, I'm not going to cave, I'm not going to need anyone. Hah! If you're serious about your quit (and I am), then you need your brothers for support. At some point, I'm going to reach out for help. I have peoples' digits. I also reach out to others in my group that may need help. I know how hard this is for me. It's just as hard for everyone else.

Another thing I've learned is that you have to be serious to quit. That's kind of a given, once you realize you're an addict. Addiction is serious stuff.

I've also dug myself a pretty deep "quit hole". I've expressed my $.02 on a lot of topics, and become an administrator for the accountability spreadsheet. If I cave, not only will I be breaking a promise to me and all of you, I will be the biggest hypocrite this site has ever seen.

Quit on, brothers and sisters, quit on!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: DeskJockey on March 08, 2016, 11:18:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: wildirish317
I realize that I have not been nicotine free for any of my adult life.
Helluva realization, isn't it? I quit when I was 44, so you have a few years on me, but I had the same thought. I had my first taste of chew (Levi Garrett) when I was 14 years old. I sure wish I'd have said "No, thanks" then, and forever. But, as we can't change the past, I figure this is the next best thing.

Stay strong, and stay quit!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on March 10, 2016, 08:14:00 AM
The Three Questions

Now that I've been here 33 days, I've noticed a few more cavers, and my understanding of caving has increased proportionally. (For those of you who are wondering, I'm not preparing my own cave, I'm digging my "quit hole" a bit deeper, and hoping to help some of the cavers understand why the wheels fell off their quit.)

So, after you cave, you come back here, and are presented with the demand to answer the "three questions". Before you do that, you should answer one question for yourself: "Why the fock are you here, knowing how much shite you are going to face for caving?" I can't help you answer this one. You know why you're here, and what you are going to face.

However, knowing that the general gist of your answer is that you need this place in order to quit, I suggest that you take an attitude of humble receptiveness in your re-assimilation into KTC. You are going to give answers to the "three questions". More likely than not, some of your answers will be questioned. Do not take offense at this (even when offense is intended). Most of us addicts can sniff out an addicts lie or misrepresentation, and we will be all over it. So consider the merits of each question. Search yourself for vulnerabilities, and shore them up.

Now that you have "humbled yourself up", here are some reflections that may help you answer the three questions:

1. What happened? This can be rephrased as "How did you set yourself up for failure?". When you cave, you build the scenario in which it is very easy to say "yes" to nicotine. The answer to this question sets up the answer to the next question.

2. Why did it happen? Depending on the addict, you can set yourself up for failure 10 times before you actually cave. The key word here is addict. The short answer is "I'm an addict, that's what addicts do." The long answer is much more complicated, and different for every cave. The answer to this question is the key to getting back on the quit. However, you can't get here without answering the first question first.

Being addicted to nicotine is like having a pipeline to your body, with a valve that is "normally open". Nicotine flows through this valve and into your body unless you consciously or unconsciously keep this valve shut. When you cave, you make a decision, at that particular moment, to let go of the valve.

So the answer to "why" is not "what made you do it?", it's "why did you let go of the valve?" "why did you decide, at that particular moment, not to be quit?" Don't look outside yourself for this answer. Shite happens to all of us. It's how we decide to react to this shite that makes us who we are.

We are addicts. We have to study addiction and addicts to know how to answer this question.

3. How are you going to keep it from happening again? Once you get past the second question, and understand your answer and your addiction, this one is pretty easy. Look at the tools you have at your disposal. Find out what other tools are out there that may be used. Figure out where you are most vulnerable, make plans not to make yourself vulnerable, and have an escape route when you find yourself vulnerable. That's the general answer. The specific answer for each cave must be tailored to each individual.

We are all just one bad, weak decision away from caving. This is addiction. This is serious.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Rawls on March 10, 2016, 09:44:00 AM
Quote from: wildirish317
Okay guys and girls, I've been hung up on these three questions. The vets are saying that none of the caves have given good answers, and I began to wonder what good answers look like. I've tried searching other groups for good answers but, omg, you think we have drama.....

So I'm going to throw this out there, for discussion, bashing, or just plain lulz:

1. What happened? This can be rephrased as "How did you set yourself up for failure?". When you cave, you build the scenario in which it is very easy to say "yes" to nicotine. The answer to this question sets up the answer to the next question.

2. Why did it happen? Depending on the addict, you can set yourself up for failure 10 times before you actually cave. The key word here is addict. The short answer is "I'm an addict, that's what addicts do." The long answer is much more complicated, and different for every cave. The answer to this question is the key to getting back on the quit. However, you can't get here without answering the first question first.

Being addicted to nicotine is like having a pipeline to your body, with a valve that is "normally open". Nicotine flows through this valve and into your body unless you consciously or unconsciously keep this valve shut. When you cave, you make a decision, at that particular moment, to let go of the valve.

So the answer to "why" is not "what made you do it?", it's "why did you let go of the valve?" "why did you decide, at that particular moment, not to be quit?" Don't look outside yourself for this answer. Shite happens to all of us. It's how we decide to react to this shite that makes us who we are.

We are addicts. We have to study addiction and addicts to know how to answer this question.

3. How are you going to keep it from happening again? Once you get past the second question, and understand your answer and your addiction, this one is pretty easy. Look at the tools you have at your disposal. Find out what other tools are out there that may be used. Figure out where you are most vulnerable, make plans not to make yourself vulnerable, and have an escape route when you find yourself vulnerable. That's the general answer. The specific answer for each cave must be tailored to each individual.

We are all just one bad, weak decision away from caving. This is addiction. This is serious.
Well said Irishman.
It is serious.
Like many decisions one can make in his or her life.
Some kill.. Some save!
Im going for being Saved....EDD ODAAT.
Rawls 489
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on March 11, 2016, 10:39:00 PM
Day 16. Poof!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Bucky on March 12, 2016, 12:19:00 AM
Quote from: wildirish317
Okay, day #13 quit. The suck is gone, and the mind games are here. If I see anything round out of the corner of my eye, it's a can of cope. As I type this, there's a focking rubber band just in the corner of my vision. It becomes a can of Copenhagen. They said there'd be days like this.

A couple of observations I've made in this short journey:

The first one is that I'm an addict. This realization hit me during the suck, and it hit hard. I came to this site to quit, but I wasn't an addict. I wasn't addicted to nicotine, no way. I just had a strong habit that I needed to break. Now I'm a focking addict. I really hate that about myself, but I have to learn to live with it. I can't change the color of my skin, and I can't get rid of this addiction.

The second one is that I need you, all of you. I figured I could just come and post roll every day for 100 days, and then leave. I didn't need other people's phone numbers, I'm not going to cave, I'm not going to need anyone. Hah! If you're serious about your quit (and I am), then you need your brothers for support. At some point, I'm going to reach out for help. I have peoples' digits. I also reach out to others in my group that may need help. I know how hard this is for me. It's just as hard for everyone else.

Another thing I've learned is that you have to be serious to quit. That's kind of a given, once you realize you're an addict. Addiction is serious stuff.

I've also dug myself a pretty deep "quit hole". I've expressed my $.02 on a lot of topics, and become an administrator for the accountability spreadsheet. If I cave, not only will I be breaking a promise to me and all of you, I will be the biggest hypocrite this site has ever seen.

Quit on, brothers and sisters, quit on!
Good understanding and good observations right here man. You will win. Reach out (PM) if you ever doubt it, but you are on your way to Freedom.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: ChristopherJ on March 12, 2016, 07:08:00 AM
Quote from: Bucky
Quote from: wildirish317
Okay, day #13 quit. The suck is gone, and the mind games are here. If I see anything round out of the corner of my eye, it's a can of cope. As I type this, there's a focking rubber band just in the corner of my vision. It becomes a can of Copenhagen. They said there'd be days like this.

A couple of observations I've made in this short journey:

The first one is that I'm an addict. This realization hit me during the suck, and it hit hard. I came to this site to quit, but I wasn't an addict. I wasn't addicted to nicotine, no way. I just had a strong habit that I needed to break. Now I'm a focking addict. I really hate that about myself, but I have to learn to live with it. I can't change the color of my skin, and I can't get rid of this addiction.

The second one is that I need you, all of you. I figured I could just come and post roll every day for 100 days, and then leave. I didn't need other people's phone numbers, I'm not going to cave, I'm not going to need anyone. Hah! If you're serious about your quit (and I am), then you need your brothers for support. At some point, I'm going to reach out for help. I have peoples' digits. I also reach out to others in my group that may need help. I know how hard this is for me. It's just as hard for everyone else.

Another thing I've learned is that you have to be serious to quit. That's kind of a given, once you realize you're an addict. Addiction is serious stuff.

I've also dug myself a pretty deep "quit hole". I've expressed my $.02 on a lot of topics, and become an administrator for the accountability spreadsheet. If I cave, not only will I be breaking a promise to me and all of you, I will be the biggest hypocrite this site has ever seen.

Quit on, brothers and sisters, quit on!
Good understanding and good observations right here man. You will win. Reach out (PM) if you ever doubt it, but you are on your way to Freedom.
Very well put and a solid perspective on the caver questions. Quit on Irish.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: pab1964 on March 13, 2016, 11:18:00 PM
Quote from: ChristopherJ
Quote from: Bucky
Quote from: wildirish317
Okay, day #13 quit. The suck is gone, and the mind games are here. If I see anything round out of the corner of my eye, it's a can of cope. As I type this, there's a focking rubber band just in the corner of my vision. It becomes a can of Copenhagen. They said there'd be days like this.

A couple of observations I've made in this short journey:

The first one is that I'm an addict. This realization hit me during the suck, and it hit hard. I came to this site to quit, but I wasn't an addict. I wasn't addicted to nicotine, no way. I just had a strong habit that I needed to break. Now I'm a focking addict. I really hate that about myself, but I have to learn to live with it. I can't change the color of my skin, and I can't get rid of this addiction.

The second one is that I need you, all of you. I figured I could just come and post roll every day for 100 days, and then leave. I didn't need other people's phone numbers, I'm not going to cave, I'm not going to need anyone. Hah! If you're serious about your quit (and I am), then you need your brothers for support. At some point, I'm going to reach out for help. I have peoples' digits. I also reach out to others in my group that may need help. I know how hard this is for me. It's just as hard for everyone else.

Another thing I've learned is that you have to be serious to quit. That's kind of a given, once you realize you're an addict. Addiction is serious stuff.

I've also dug myself a pretty deep "quit hole". I've expressed my $.02 on a lot of topics, and become an administrator for the accountability spreadsheet. If I cave, not only will I be breaking a promise to me and all of you, I will be the biggest hypocrite this site has ever seen.

Quit on, brothers and sisters, quit on!
Good understanding and good observations right here man. You will win. Reach out (PM) if you ever doubt it, but you are on your way to Freedom.
Very well put and a solid perspective on the caver questions. Quit on Irish.
You a little rough around the collars and you don't mind kicking a little ass, I like you! Stay strong and keep on giving back! Quit on! One of them ole guys!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Mogul on March 13, 2016, 11:42:00 PM
Hey Irish, your intro is a good read. I've been quit for 800+ days now and you know I'm still an addict. very liberating words and a feeling of "I can let perfect go". Know what I mean? I don't need to impress anyone but me and I know that today I didn't go to the c-store, buy some cope, and be disappointed in who I am. I'm impressed. You should be too. I quit with ya.

Mogul
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on March 14, 2016, 09:11:00 PM
Quote from: mogul
Hey Irish, your intro is a good read. I've been quit for 800+ days now and you know I'm still an addict. very liberating words and a feeling of "I can let perfect go". Know what I mean? I don't need to impress anyone but me and I know that today I didn't go to the c-store, buy some cope, and be disappointed in who I am. I'm impressed. You should be too. I quit with ya.

Mogul
Thanks Mogul. Every freakin' day I learn something new about my addiction. I quit with you today.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: ChickDip on March 17, 2016, 09:34:00 AM
Happy Birthday! 'Sing and Drink' 'irish'
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Dagranger on March 17, 2016, 05:19:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Happy Birthday! 'Sing and Drink' 'irish'
Wild Irish birthday on St Patrick's day....that definitely deserves some recognition. I like what I've seen you doing on this site...Keep it up.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on March 17, 2016, 09:43:00 PM
Thanks guys! It's my birthday, and I haven't even stopped by my intro thread. That's pretty weak.

I'm amped though. My UK Wildcats are playing their first game in this years NCAA tournament. They fought their way through the SEC tournament and came out victorious. I think they'll make it to the final four this year.

On the quit front, I'm at day 22, and it's not too bad, but I don't feel "normal". I don't remember what normal feels like. This is my first nicotine free birthday in 38 years, give or take. I'm still dealing with oral fixation thing. It's a mind game now. I'm good today. That's all that matters.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: danojeno on March 18, 2016, 06:24:00 PM
Irish, it's been inspiring to watch your progress and involvement. Keep digging that quit hole you spoke of. I noted the avatar and though I'm much more of a BMW fan than a basketball fan, I'll let this one slide.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on March 18, 2016, 07:13:00 PM
Quote from: danojeno
I noted the avatar and though I'm much more of a BMW fan than a basketball fan, I'll let this one slide.
That's our girl, Ashley Judd, in a pose she did for the UK Hockey team calendar a few years ago. I drag it out sometimes in March when I need inspiration.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: overitinmt on March 20, 2016, 11:35:00 AM
Quote from: wildirish317
Thanks guys! It's my birthday, and I haven't even stopped by my intro thread. That's pretty weak.

I'm amped though. My UK Wildcats are playing their first game in this years NCAA tournament. They fought their way through the SEC tournament and came out victorious. I think they'll make it to the final four this year.

On the quit front, I'm at day 22, and it's not too bad, but I don't feel "normal". I don't remember what normal feels like. This is my first nicotine free birthday in 38 years, give or take. I'm still dealing with oral fixation thing. It's a mind game now. I'm good today. That's all that matters.
I wonder what normal will feel like too... After having quit for as long as I did in the past, I don't remember what it's like. I am looking forward to this stage being done. 11 days in, and I am quit today. Keep on keeping on Irish!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: pab1964 on March 20, 2016, 05:07:00 PM
Quote from: overitinmt
Quote from: wildirish317
Thanks guys! It's my birthday, and I haven't even stopped by my intro thread. That's pretty weak.

I'm amped though. My UK Wildcats are playing their first game in this years NCAA tournament. They fought their way through the SEC tournament and came out victorious. I think they'll make it to the final four this year.

On the quit front, I'm at day 22, and it's not too bad, but I don't feel "normal". I don't remember what normal feels like. This is my first nicotine free birthday in 38 years, give or take. I'm still dealing with oral fixation thing. It's a mind game now. I'm good today. That's all that matters.
I wonder what normal will feel like too... After having quit for as long as I did in the past, I don't remember what it's like. I am looking forward to this stage being done. 11 days in, and I am quit today. Keep on keeping on Irish!
I'm 449 days free and a whole calm of life has came over me after 38 years dipping. I guess that's normal and I'm loving every second of it and will never take it for granted because we are all one stupid ass mistake away from a day one! Life is good!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: ChickDip on March 20, 2016, 08:02:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: overitinmt
Quote from: wildirish317
Thanks guys! It's my birthday, and I haven't even stopped by my intro thread. That's pretty weak.

I'm amped though. My UK Wildcats are playing their first game in this years NCAA tournament. They fought their way through the SEC tournament and came out victorious. I think they'll make it to the final four this year.

On the quit front, I'm at day 22, and it's not too bad, but I don't feel "normal". I don't remember what normal feels like. This is my first nicotine free birthday in 38 years, give or take. I'm still dealing with oral fixation thing. It's a mind game now. I'm good today. That's all that matters.
I wonder what normal will feel like too... After having quit for as long as I did in the past, I don't remember what it's like. I am looking forward to this stage being done. 11 days in, and I am quit today. Keep on keeping on Irish!
I'm 449 days free and a whole calm of life has came over me after 38 years dipping. I guess that's normal and I'm loving every second of it and will never take it for granted because we are all one stupid ass mistake away from a day one! Life is good!
that badass quitter! ^^^^ he helps so many, you know what?
That is a platform for a very, very strong quit.
Take your eyes off yourself. Help someone else, it will strengthen both of your quits.

3 weeks is huge Irish!

You'll be tested over and over, but stay connected and reach out at all times.
Don't worry about the oral fixation. That will diminish as your quit lengthens.
Do what it takes. Stay strong. Keep doing what you are doing.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Mogul on March 20, 2016, 11:54:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: overitinmt
Quote from: wildirish317
Thanks guys! It's my birthday, and I haven't even stopped by my intro thread. That's pretty weak.

I'm amped though. My UK Wildcats are playing their first game in this years NCAA tournament. They fought their way through the SEC tournament and came out victorious. I think they'll make it to the final four this year.

On the quit front, I'm at day 22, and it's not too bad, but I don't feel "normal". I don't remember what normal feels like. This is my first nicotine free birthday in 38 years, give or take. I'm still dealing with oral fixation thing. It's a mind game now. I'm good today. That's all that matters.
I wonder what normal will feel like too... After having quit for as long as I did in the past, I don't remember what it's like. I am looking forward to this stage being done. 11 days in, and I am quit today. Keep on keeping on Irish!
I'm 449 days free and a whole calm of life has came over me after 38 years dipping. I guess that's normal and I'm loving every second of it and will never take it for granted because we are all one stupid ass mistake away from a day one! Life is good!
that badass quitter! ^^^^ he helps so many, you know what?
That is a platform for a very, very strong quit.
Take your eyes off yourself. Help someone else, it will strengthen both of your quits.

3 weeks is huge Irish!

You'll be tested over and over, but stay connected and reach out at all times.
Don't worry about the oral fixation. That will diminish as your quit lengthens.
Do what it takes. Stay strong. Keep doing what you are doing.
What an awesome read. here is another slanted/rude/unusual way to look at it....... You have been a nicotine slave for 30+ years and YOU KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE. Hell, let's live another 30 without it and see what that life is like. Experience new things, be crazy about it. Hell, yell to people about it if you need too. Just do whatever comes to ya and enjoy the ride. 'Remshot'
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on March 28, 2016, 08:54:00 PM
Okay, 33 days in, I updated my "three questions" post. You don't have to go back and find it. It's here (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9654281&t=11541810).
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: RDB on March 29, 2016, 06:29:00 AM
Hi wildirish. I just re read your intro post. Just curious if you've done anything about the other two addictions you mentioned.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on March 29, 2016, 03:27:00 PM
Quote from: RDB1972
Hi wildirish. I just re read your intro post. Just curious if you've done anything about the other two addictions you mentioned.
Zing! I was wondering how long it would take for someone to ask that question.

No, I haven't. I can give you all kinds of addict excuses, but I won't. Alcohol is next on the list, but it will be tougher. It's very ingrained in my social life (I don't hide it like I did nicotine), and Mrs. Irish will have to join me on that quit.

Caffeine, I'm not as worried about. It may be more of a habit than addiction. I don't see caffeine pop up on too many addictive substances lists.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: suthern_gntlman on March 29, 2016, 03:42:00 PM
Would've, could've, should've...

You're an inspiration. I could be where you are right now, had I only started digging my hole sooner.

I'm having a hard time getting over myself. I keep kicking myself for lollygagging around my first 330 days.

Everyday is a new day. Sometimes the middle of the day needs a reboot.

Ctl+alt+delete

Re-start.

Thanks and keep digging!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: RDB on March 29, 2016, 04:21:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: RDB1972
Hi wildirish. I just re read your intro post. Just curious if you've done anything about the other two addictions you mentioned.
Zing! I was wondering how long it would take for someone to ask that question.

No, I haven't. I can give you all kinds of addict excuses, but I won't. Alcohol is next on the list, but it will be tougher. It's very ingrained in my social life (I don't hide it like I did nicotine), and Mrs. Irish will have to join me on that quit.

Caffeine, I'm not as worried about. It may be more of a habit than addiction. I don't see caffeine pop up on too many addictive substances lists.
I rarely drink alcohol. If I average six drinks over a two month period, I'd be surprised.

I've never given caffeine a second thought. I drink coffee most mornings. I drink Coke and/or Mt. Dew most days. I doubt if I've had a caffeine free day in 30 years.

My blood pressure is very good, despite 25 years of constant nicotine and 30 years of average to maybe above average caffeine intake.

If a Dr. ever mentioned that I should give up caffeine, I'd do it, then I'd find out how hard it really is, I'm sure.

Addict speak? I'm not sure.

It's that circular conversation ... I can quit caffeine whenever I want to. Then why don't you? I don't want to. But could you? I can quit caffeine whenever I want to...

Have you had your BP checked since you started your quit to see what kind of impact it's had?
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on March 29, 2016, 04:43:00 PM
Quote from: RDB1972
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: RDB1972
Hi wildirish. I just re read your intro post. Just curious if you've done anything about the other two addictions you mentioned.
Zing! I was wondering how long it would take for someone to ask that question.

No, I haven't. I can give you all kinds of addict excuses, but I won't. Alcohol is next on the list, but it will be tougher. It's very ingrained in my social life (I don't hide it like I did nicotine), and Mrs. Irish will have to join me on that quit.

Caffeine, I'm not as worried about. It may be more of a habit than addiction. I don't see caffeine pop up on too many addictive substances lists.
I rarely drink alcohol. If I average six drinks over a two month period, I'd be surprised.

I've never given caffeine a second thought. I drink coffee most mornings. I drink Coke and/or Mt. Dew most days. I doubt if I've had a caffeine free day in 30 years.

My blood pressure is very good, despite 25 years of constant nicotine and 30 years of average to maybe above average caffeine intake.

If a Dr. ever mentioned that I should give up caffeine, I'd do it, then I'd find out how hard it really is, I'm sure.

Addict speak? I'm not sure.

It's that circular conversation ... I can quit caffeine whenever I want to. Then why don't you? I don't want to. But could you? I can quit caffeine whenever I want to...

Have you had your BP checked since you started your quit to see what kind of impact it's had?
Annual physical exam scheduled for a week from tomorrow. I will post a report here afterward.

Edit: Instead of making a new post, I'll put it here. BP today is 124/84. A bit high, but much better than it's been.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on March 30, 2016, 04:09:00 PM
Day 35.

You only quit when you die.

I made that statement, some 20 years ago, after several attempts at quitting. I realized that I could stop for a period of time, but I would never know that I am completely quit, never again, until I'm dead.

The recent resurgence of serial cavers made me think of this. Twenty years ago, that statement made me lose hope. Five weeks ago, I came here. "Don't worry about tomorrow", they said, "Just stop for today."

I'm an engineer. I think logically. This made sense. I don't have to quit; let's take that off the table. I can stop for a day. When tomorrow comes, I can wake up and make a decision to do it again.

I'm at a place in my quit where I'm hunkered down for the long haul. I have no illusion of ever being "safe" in my quit. I think this happens to a lot of cavers; they reach a point in their quit where they feel safe, and let their guard down. They stop posting roll. They stop reading the horror stories of the newbies going through the suck. They lose touch with their brethren.

At some point in my quit I will probably feel safe. I hope I can remember that it's a signal to get my ass in here ASAP!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: MonsterEMT on March 30, 2016, 04:39:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
Day 35.

You only quit when you die.

I made that statement, some 20 years ago, after several attempts at quitting. I realized that I could stop for a period of time, but I would never know that I am completely quit, never again, until I'm dead.

The recent resurgence of serial cavers made me think of this. Twenty years ago, that statement made me lose hope. Five weeks ago, I came here. "Don't worry about tomorrow", they said, "Just stop for today."

I'm an engineer. I think logically. This made sense. I don't have to quit; let's take that off the table. I can stop for a day. When tomorrow comes, I can wake up and make a decision to do it again.

I'm at a place in my quit where I'm hunkered down for the long haul. I have no illusion of ever being "safe" in my quit. I think this happens to a lot of cavers; they reach a point in their quit where they feel safe, and let their guard down. They stop posting roll. They stop reading the horror stories of the newbies going through the suck. They lose touch with their brethren.

At some point in my quit I will probably feel safe. I hope I can remember that it's a signal to get my ass in here ASAP!
Complacency kills quits.

Keep looking at it one day at a time.

You're rocking it.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on April 02, 2016, 09:59:00 PM
The Lessons of Bowe

Occasionally, a tragic person passes through our life. You know the type, you look at them and realize they are a train wreck in progress and all you can do is watch. Bowe is one of these. She stormed into KTC on Friday, March 18th and was banned on Sunday, April 2nd.

There are not a lot of things you can learn from a person in two weeks and change, but it's not about quantity, it's about quality.

Lesson #1: KTC is about quitting nicotine. Leave it at that. Don't come here for anything else. Don't pretend to be something you're not. Don't strive to become something other than what you are. There is nothing to prove to anyone else here. There is only quit. We begin each day with quit. Hopefully, we end each day quit.

Lesson #2: When you lie on the internet, the primary person you are lying to is your self. When you make a statement that you know to be untrue on the internet, five days in a row, who exactly are you fooling? The people you think you're lying to cease to exist when you turn off your computer, but you're still here, one lying sack of shite.

Lesson #3: We are here to quit, for ourselves, nobody else. We join ranks with others who are here to quit, for ourselves, nobody else. This is our common cause. This is our Brotherhood.

Really, you have to judge education by the quality, not the quantity.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on April 07, 2016, 07:52:00 AM
Dip Dream #1

As a newbie, you always wonder about dip dreams. Will they happen to me? What will they by like? I had my first one last night, not really a dip dream, more of a cave dream. Here's how it played out:

Mrs. Irish and I were at our daughter's house, watching a TV show about Virginia cigarettes (may have been Virginia Slims, but I don't recall "Slims" in the name.) As it would be in a dream, there just happened to be a pack sitting on the coffee table in front of me. I was curious to experience what they were describing in the show, so I took one, lit it, and smoked it.

I was reaching for the second one when I realized what I had done. A wave of panic came over me. I looked at Mrs. Irish and said "Shit! I just caved!" I thought about how I was going to explain this to my June group, and the July group that I would have to join. How could I be so stupid not to realize that a cigarette is a cigarette, and they all have nicotine? "Sneaky bitch!" I thought as I woke up.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: brettlees on April 07, 2016, 10:23:00 AM
Quote from: wildirish317
Dip Dream #1

As a newbie, you always wonder about dip dreams. Will they happen to me? What will they by like? I had my first one last night, not really a dip dream, more of a cave dream. Here's how it played out:

Mrs. Irish and I were at our daughter's house, watching a TV show about Virginia cigarettes (may have been Virginia Slims, but I don't recall "Slims" in the name.) As it would be in a dream, there just happened to be a pack sitting on the coffee table in front of me. I was curious to experience what they were describing in the show, so I took one, lit it, and smoked it.

I was reaching for the second one when I realized what I had done. A wave of panic came over me. I looked at Mrs. Irish and said "Shit! I just caved!" I thought about how I was going to explain this to my June group, and the July group that I would have to join. How could I be so stupid not to realize that a cigarette is a cigarette, and they all have nicotine? "Sneaky bitch!" I thought as I woke up.
First time I've read your intro- great log all around, thanks for doing this, these sorts of stories of the progression of a person's quit really helped me a lot in my foggy days!

Great dream story too- crazy how that happens. I'm not even surprised when i get them, at almost 900 days free. As my friend Rdad points out, though, those dreams are good because you wake up and you're still free! That positive attitude actually helps your quit, i believe, because when you feel good about your quit you are reprogramming your brain about good life is without that ball and chain addiction.

Keep up the good, quit, i'm in your corner, and reach out if you need help- you're certainly helping others by doing it this way!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on April 14, 2016, 04:57:00 PM
My Quit Plan

Everyone needs one of these, right? This is a work in progress, and I will edit it as life goes on.

Post roll first thing every morning. Then go back later in the morning and post in the Party Bus a Quit, every June group, and every 2016 group.

When I get a crave, text Danojeno and ask for permission to take a dip. So far, just thinking about doing this chases the crave away before I even touch the phone.

If Danojeno doesn't respond, go through all of my KTC phone contacts, asking permission to take a dip, until I find one that says "Yes". By the time I get to the end of the list, I'm sure my crave will be gone.

I'm open to suggestions for improvement.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: danojeno on April 14, 2016, 08:28:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
My Quit Plan

Everyone needs one of these, right? This is a work in progress, and I will edit it as life goes on.

Post roll first thing every morning. Then go back later in the morning and post in the Party Bus a Quit, every June group, and every 2016 group.

When I get a crave, text Danojeno and ask for permission to take a dip. So far, just thinking about doing this chases the crave away before I even touch the phone.

If Danojeno doesn't respond, go through all of my KTC phone contacts, asking permission to take a dip, until I find one that says "Yes". By the time I get to the end of the list, I'm sure my crave will be gone.

I'm open to suggestions for improvement.
This is a terrific plan. 'boob' 'boob' Mine is very similar and I've modified it to include texting wildirish317 when I get a crave.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on April 14, 2016, 10:06:00 PM
Quote from: danojeno
Quote from: wildirish317
My Quit Plan

Everyone needs one of these, right? This is a work in progress, and I will edit it as life goes on.

Post roll first thing every morning. Then go back later in the morning and post in the Party Bus a Quit, every June group, and every 2016 group.

When I get a crave, text Danojeno and ask for permission to take a dip. So far, just thinking about doing this chases the crave away before I even touch the phone.

If Danojeno doesn't respond, go through all of my KTC phone contacts, asking permission to take a dip, until I find one that says "Yes". By the time I get to the end of the list, I'm sure my crave will be gone.

I'm open to suggestions for improvement.
This is a terrific plan. 'boob' 'boob' Mine is very similar and I've modified it to include texting wildirish317 when I get a crave.
Notice the talons! So scare! (https://i.ytimg.com/vi/vVRRDrET5oI/maxresdefault.jpg)
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on April 20, 2016, 02:21:00 PM
The Law of Addiction

Day 55. I'm not sure why I started adding titles to my intro posts, maybe so I can find them easier. This one comes about after a discussion with kbdavear about how many times a person should be allowed to post day #1 on this site. I'm not going to go into that discussion here. You can find it in July 2016's quit group thread on April 29, 2016.

The discussion led to research. The research led to the law of addiction. (http://ffn.yuku.com/topic/116#.VxfBU3ErLRZ)

The Law is rather simple. It states, “Administration of a drug to an addict will cause re-establishment of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance."

Mastering it requires acceptance of three fundamental principles:
(1) that dependency upon using nicotine is true chemical addiction, captivating the same brain dopamine reward pathways as alcoholism, cocaine or heroin addiction;
(2) that once established we cannot cure or kill an addiction but only arrest it; and
(3) that once arrested, regardless of how long we have remained nicotine free, that just one hit of nicotine will create a high degree of probability of a full relapse.


Once you have mastered the law of addiction, there is absolutely no legitimate excuse to put nicotine into your body in any form. As a nicotine addict, you have permanently altered the way your brain functions. This cannot be undone. The only way to stay quit is to stay quit.

There is a smoking cessation website named whyquit.com. They have zero tolerance for nicotine. You get one try per lifetime on this site. You have posting privileges as long as you remain nicotine free. If you ingest nicotine, your posting privileges are permanently revoked.

I've given this topic a lot of thought over the past two days. For now, I'm going to leave my comments brief. There is a lot to absorb in this post.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on April 29, 2016, 10:21:00 AM
The Road Called Recovery

Day 65. If I didn't know any better, I would say I'm "cured". However, I do know better. I am through withdrawal, and moving down the road they call recovery. The trick now is to stay on this road and not get sidetracked into relapse.

So, I've mastered the Law of Addiction. My addiction is arrested. I'm through the withdrawal, the suck. I'm on the road of recovery. Now what? How do I stay on this road?

The first rule to recovery is: You don't recover from an addiction by stopping using. You recover by creating a new life where it is easier to not use.
If you don't create a new life, the Nic bitch will lure you back into using her.

There are tools to help us create a new life. You can find them at www.addictionsandrecovery.org (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/recovery-skills.htm). I want to discuss them briefly here because they are important.

The three tools are:

1. Avoid high risk situations.
2. Learn to relax.
3. Be honest.


Some common high risk situations are described by the acronym HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired). You can't always avoid these situations, but learn to recognize them and be on guard for the Nic bitch, because she's watching and waiting.

We used nicotine to relax. We need to find something to replace that. Drugs and alcohol are not your best choice, as these are addictive substances as well. Meditation is a good tool for relaxation. KTC has a good thread on meditation: Meditation Group (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/1009607/1/?x=90). It has a good beginning, morphs into a roll post, and then has some more tips and tricks at the end. I also tie flies to relax. My mother played the piano to relax. (I used to think she just liked to play. Now I realize she would do it when she was upset.)

The following is a direct quote from linked web page. I can't think of a good way to summarize it, and there are a lot of important points about being honest.

An addiction requires lying. You have to lie about getting your drug, using it, hiding its consequences, and planning your next relapse. An addiction is full of lying. By the time you've developed an addiction, lying comes easily to you. After a while you get so good at lying that you end up lying to yourself. That's why addicts don't know who they are or what they believe in.

The other problem with lying is that you can't like yourself when you lie. You can't look yourself in the mirror. Lying traps you in your addiction. The more you lie, the less you like yourself, which makes you want to escape, which leads to more using and more lying.

Nothing changes, if nothing changes. Ask yourself this: will more lying, more isolating, and more of the same make you feel better? The expression in AA is - nothing changes if nothing changes. If you don't change your life, then why would this time be any different? You need to create a new life where it's easier to not use.

Recovery requires complete honesty. You must be one-hundred percent completely honest with the people who are your supports: your family, your doctor, your therapist, the people in your 12 step group, and your sponsor. If you can't be completely honest with them, you won't do well in recovery.

When you're completely honest you don't give your addiction room to hide. When you lie you leave the door open to relapse.

One mistake people make in the early stages of recovery is they think that honesty means being honest about other people. They think they should share what's "wrong" with other people. But recovery isn't about fixing other people. It's about fixing yourself. Stick with your own recovery. Focusing on what you don't like about others is easy because it deflects attention from yourself.

Honesty won't come naturally in the beginning. You've spent so much time learning how to lie that telling the truth, no matter how good it is for you, won't feel natural. You'll have to practice telling the truth a few hundred times before it comes a little easier. In the beginning, you'll have to stop yourself as you're telling a story, and say, "now that I think about it, it was more like this..."

Show common sense. Not everybody is your best friend. And not everybody will be glad to know that you have an addiction or that you're doing something about it. There may be some people who you don't want to tell about your recovery. But don't be reluctant to tell the people close to you about your recovery. You should never feel ashamed that you're doing something about your addiction.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: kubiackalpha on April 29, 2016, 01:12:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
The Road Called Recovery

Day 65. If I didn't know any better, I would say I'm "cured". However, I do know better. I am through withdrawal, and moving down the road they call recovery. The trick now is to stay on this road and not get sidetracked into relapse.

So, I've mastered the Law of Addiction. My addiction is arrested. I'm through the withdrawal, the suck. I'm on the road of recovery. Now what? How do I stay on this road?

The first rule to recovery is: You don't recover from an addiction by stopping using. You recover by creating a new life where it is easier to not use.
If you don't create a new life, the Nic bitch will lure you back into using her.

There are tools to help us create a new life. You can find them at www.addictionsandrecovery.org (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/recovery-skills.htm). I want to discuss them briefly here because they are important.

The three tools are:

1. Avoid high risk situations.
2. Learn to relax.
3. Be honest.


Some common high risk situations are described by the acronym HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired). You can't always avoid these situations, but learn to recognize them and be on guard for the Nic bitch, because she's watching and waiting.

We used nicotine to relax. We need to find something to replace that. Drugs and alcohol are not your best choice, as these are addictive substances as well. Meditation is a good tool for relaxation. KTC has a good thread on meditation: Meditation Group (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/1009607/1/?x=90). It has a good beginning, morphs into a roll post, and then has some more tips and tricks at the end. I also tie flies to relax. My mother played the piano to relax. (I used to think she just liked to play. Now I realize she would do it when she was upset.)

The following is a direct quote from linked web page. I can't think of a good way to summarize it, and there are a lot of important points about being honest.

An addiction requires lying. You have to lie about getting your drug, using it, hiding its consequences, and planning your next relapse. An addiction is full of lying. By the time you've developed an addiction, lying comes easily to you. After a while you get so good at lying that you end up lying to yourself. That's why addicts don't know who they are or what they believe in.

The other problem with lying is that you can't like yourself when you lie. You can't look yourself in the mirror. Lying traps you in your addiction. The more you lie, the less you like yourself, which makes you want to escape, which leads to more using and more lying.

Nothing changes, if nothing changes. Ask yourself this: will more lying, more isolating, and more of the same make you feel better? The expression in AA is - nothing changes if nothing changes. If you don't change your life, then why would this time be any different? You need to create a new life where it's easier to not use.

Recovery requires complete honesty. You must be one-hundred percent completely honest with the people who are your supports: your family, your doctor, your therapist, the people in your 12 step group, and your sponsor. If you can't be completely honest with them, you won't do well in recovery.

When you're completely honest you don't give your addiction room to hide. When you lie you leave the door open to relapse.

One mistake people make in the early stages of recovery is they think that honesty means being honest about other people. They think they should share what's "wrong" with other people. But recovery isn't about fixing other people. It's about fixing yourself. Stick with your own recovery. Focusing on what you don't like about others is easy because it deflects attention from yourself.

Honesty won't come naturally in the beginning. You've spent so much time learning how to lie that telling the truth, no matter how good it is for you, won't feel natural. You'll have to practice telling the truth a few hundred times before it comes a little easier. In the beginning, you'll have to stop yourself as you're telling a story, and say, "now that I think about it, it was more like this..."

Show common sense. Not everybody is your best friend. And not everybody will be glad to know that you have an addiction or that you're doing something about it. There may be some people who you don't want to tell about your recovery. But don't be reluctant to tell the people close to you about your recovery. You should never feel ashamed that you're doing something about your addiction.
LOVE IT! My friend would say that as addicts in recovery we need to keep something in mind "First Thought Wrong" . Meaning anytime we are faced with a decision tough or not we think then rethink.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on May 04, 2016, 04:42:00 PM
The Symptoms of Post Acute Withdrawal (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm)

Why am I doing this? Why am I posting shit on a random thread buried so deep in a random website that nobody other than myself will find it, much less read it? I used to think I was helping other people like me. Fock that. There are no other people like me, and everything I post on this thread is old news. This website is about 11 years old, and there have been 12 groups go through this process in each of the 11 years, so this path has been traveled at least 132 times. I don't have anything new to add.

I guess, like my good friend Kubiackalpha stated earlier today, "Writing is therapeutic." So I'm finished writing for a moment. Let me just post some juicy "old news" from the site I linked above.

The most common post-acute withdrawal symptoms are:
Post-acute withdrawal feels like a rollercoaster of symptoms. In the beginning, your symptoms will change minute to minute and hour to hour. Later as you recover further they will disappear for a few weeks or months only to return again. As you continue to recover the good stretches will get longer and longer. But the bad periods of post-acute withdrawal can be just as intense and last just as long.

Each post-acute withdrawal episode usually last for a few days. Once you've been in recovery for a while, you will find that each post-acute withdrawal episode usually lasts for a few days. There is no obvious trigger for most episodes. You will wake up one day feeling irritable and have low energy. If you hang on for just a few days, it will lift just as quickly as it started. After a while you'll develop confidence that you can get through post-acute withdrawal, because you'll know that each episode is time limited.

Post-acute withdrawal usually lasts for 2 years. This is one of the most important things you need to remember. If you're up for the challenge you can get though this. But if you think that post-acute withdrawal will only last for a few months, then you'll get caught off guard, and when you're disappointed you're more likely to relapse. (Reference: www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org (http://www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org))

Wait, wat??? TWO FOCKING YEARS?!?!?

I don't have two years. I can only do this for today. I can only do this for myself. Bless you Kubiackalpha, I'm depressed too.

Again, old hat, old news to most of you. I would spare you, and put it somewhere else, but you don't have to read it.

I remember when I was a kid, the first time I realized that the sun didn't actually land on that field way over there. Great focking discovery for me!! Everyone else around me already knew this. This is how I feel on this site.

Hopefully, I'll look back at this post TWO FOCKING YEARS from now and think "My God, why did I post that shite?"
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: ChickDip on May 04, 2016, 06:33:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
The Symptoms of Post Acute Withdrawal (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm)

Why am I doing this? Why am I posting shit on a random thread buried so deep in a random website that nobody other than myself will find it, much less read it? I used to think I was helping other people like me. Fock that. There are no other people like me, and everything I post on this thread is old news. This website is about 11 years old, and there have been 12 groups go through this process in each of the 11 years, so this path has been traveled at least 132 times. I don't have anything new to add.

I guess, like my good friend Kubiackalpha stated earlier today, "Writing is therapeutic." So I'm finished writing for a moment. Let me just post some juicy "old news" from the site I linked above.

The most common post-acute withdrawal symptoms are:
  • Mood swings
  • Anxiety
  • Irritability
  • Tiredness
  • Variable energy
  • Low enthusiasm
  • Variable concentration
  • Disturbed sleep
Post-acute withdrawal feels like a rollercoaster of symptoms. In the beginning, your symptoms will change minute to minute and hour to hour. Later as you recover further they will disappear for a few weeks or months only to return again. As you continue to recover the good stretches will get longer and longer. But the bad periods of post-acute withdrawal can be just as intense and last just as long.

Each post-acute withdrawal episode usually last for a few days. Once you've been in recovery for a while, you will find that each post-acute withdrawal episode usually lasts for a few days. There is no obvious trigger for most episodes. You will wake up one day feeling irritable and have low energy. If you hang on for just a few days, it will lift just as quickly as it started. After a while you'll develop confidence that you can get through post-acute withdrawal, because you'll know that each episode is time limited.

Post-acute withdrawal usually lasts for 2 years. This is one of the most important things you need to remember. If you're up for the challenge you can get though this. But if you think that post-acute withdrawal will only last for a few months, then you'll get caught off guard, and when you're disappointed you're more likely to relapse. (Reference: www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org (http://www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org))

Wait, wat??? TWO FOCKING YEARS?!?!?

I don't have two years. I can only do this for today. I can only do this for myself. Bless you Kubiackalpha, I'm depressed too.

Again, old hat, old news to most of you. I would spare you, and put it somewhere else, but you don't have to read it.

I remember when I was a kid, the first time I realized that the sun didn't actually land on that field way over there. Great focking discovery for me!! Everyone else around me already knew this. This is how I feel on this site.

Hopefully, I'll look back at this post TWO FOCKING YEARS from now and think "My God, why did I post that shite?"
You should always post things as they come to you. Don't overthink it. So someone else has written something similar, or stated the same thing. Doesn't matter. Someone may come read this that hasn't read it before, ever. Some new guy or old hat may come read what you've written, and relate, or have a revelation. I too believe it is therapeutic for the author, but still can be beneficial to the reader.

It's not for you to discern the way it is received. Yours is to be a member of this group, this family. Glad you are part of my "family". Keep it up.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: danojeno on May 04, 2016, 10:38:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: wildirish317
The Symptoms of Post Acute Withdrawal (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm)

Why am I doing this? Why am I posting shit on a random thread buried so deep in a random website that nobody other than myself will find it, much less read it? I used to think I was helping other people like me. Fock that. There are no other people like me, and everything I post on this thread is old news. This website is about 11 years old, and there have been 12 groups go through this process in each of the 11 years, so this path has been traveled at least 132 times. I don't have anything new to add.

I guess, like my good friend Kubiackalpha stated earlier today, "Writing is therapeutic." So I'm finished writing for a moment. Let me just post some juicy "old news" from the site I linked above.

The most common post-acute withdrawal symptoms are:
  • Mood swings
  • Anxiety
  • Irritability
  • Tiredness
  • Variable energy
  • Low enthusiasm
  • Variable concentration
  • Disturbed sleep
Post-acute withdrawal feels like a rollercoaster of symptoms. In the beginning, your symptoms will change minute to minute and hour to hour. Later as you recover further they will disappear for a few weeks or months only to return again. As you continue to recover the good stretches will get longer and longer. But the bad periods of post-acute withdrawal can be just as intense and last just as long.

Each post-acute withdrawal episode usually last for a few days. Once you've been in recovery for a while, you will find that each post-acute withdrawal episode usually lasts for a few days. There is no obvious trigger for most episodes. You will wake up one day feeling irritable and have low energy. If you hang on for just a few days, it will lift just as quickly as it started. After a while you'll develop confidence that you can get through post-acute withdrawal, because you'll know that each episode is time limited.

Post-acute withdrawal usually lasts for 2 years. This is one of the most important things you need to remember. If you're up for the challenge you can get though this. But if you think that post-acute withdrawal will only last for a few months, then you'll get caught off guard, and when you're disappointed you're more likely to relapse. (Reference: www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org (http://www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org))

Wait, wat??? TWO FOCKING YEARS?!?!?

I don't have two years. I can only do this for today. I can only do this for myself. Bless you Kubiackalpha, I'm depressed too.

Again, old hat, old news to most of you. I would spare you, and put it somewhere else, but you don't have to read it.

I remember when I was a kid, the first time I realized that the sun didn't actually land on that field way over there. Great focking discovery for me!! Everyone else around me already knew this. This is how I feel on this site.

Hopefully, I'll look back at this post TWO FOCKING YEARS from now and think "My God, why did I post that shite?"
You should always post things as they come to you. Don't overthink it. So someone else has written something similar, or stated the same thing. Doesn't matter. Someone may come read this that hasn't read it before, ever. Some new guy or old hat may come read what you've written, and relate, or have a revelation. I too believe it is therapeutic for the author, but still can be beneficial to the reader.

It's not for you to discern the way it is received. Yours is to be a member of this group, this family. Glad you are part of my "family". Keep it up.
Woah woah woah. Keep it up brother. I'd much rather read it with your spin.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on May 05, 2016, 08:16:00 AM
Quote from: ChickDip
It's not for you to discern the way it is received.
It is for Herself to discern. I always knew She is a woman, and suspect She's a teenager.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: kubiackalpha on May 05, 2016, 08:34:00 AM
P.A.W.S. has been known to cause relapse in those unsuspecting few. The know-it-alls. The I have this down and done in 30days. Or those that plan on leaving a self help, accountability group such as this. Glad you posted this. I know this site has a place for all if not a lot of this information. Some of it gets buried deep due to years of use. Which is a good sign that this site works! But, I wonder if a knew cataloguing system isn't due so it is easier to navigate....especially with The Suck and Fog.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on May 05, 2016, 08:36:00 AM
How to Survive Post-Acute Withdrawal

I feel much better than I did yesterday. I'm still in the funk, but coming out. More from the linked page of yesterday, with my comments interspersed.

Be patient. You can't hurry recovery. But you can get through it one day at a time. If you resent post-acute withdrawal, or try to bulldoze your way through it, you will become exhausted. And when you're exhausted you will think of using to escape. One day at a time. We see this a lot.

Post-acute withdrawal symptoms are a sign that your brain is recovering. Therefore don't resent them. But remember, even after one year, you are still only half way there. (Two focking years. 'facepalm'' )

Go with the flow. Withdrawal symptoms are uncomfortable. But the more you resent them the worse they'll seem. You'll have lots of good days over the next two years. Enjoy them. You'll also have lots of bad days. On those days, don't try to do too much. Take care of yourself, focus on your recovery, and you'll get through this.

Practice self-care. Give yourself lots of little breaks over the next two years. Tell yourself "what I am doing is enough." Be good to yourself. That is what most addicts can't do, and that's what you must learn in recovery. Recovery is the opposite of addiction.

Sometimes you'll have little energy or enthusiasm for anything. Understand this and don't over book your life. Give yourself permission to focus on your recovery. This is key. We used nicotine to help us push ourselves. Now we have to learn not to push - and let it happen.

Post-acute withdrawal can be a trigger for relapse. You'll go for weeks without any withdrawal symptoms, and then one day you'll wake up and your withdrawal will hit you like a ton of bricks. You'll have slept badly. You'll be in a bad mood. Your energy will be low. And if you're not prepared for it, if you think that post-acute withdrawal only lasts for a few months, or if you think that you'll be different and it won't be as bad for you, then you'll get caught off guard. But if you know what to expect you can do this.

Being able to relax will help you through post-acute withdrawal. When you're tense you tend to dwell on your symptoms and make them worse. When you're relaxed it's easier to not get caught up in them. You aren't as triggered by your symptoms which means you're less likely to relapse.

Remember, every relapse, no matter how small undoes the gains your brain has made during recovery. Without abstinence everything will fall apart. With abstinence everything is possible. (Reference: www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org (http://www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org))

I hear a lot of cavers say they reached a "fuck it" point when they caved. I always wondered what "fuck it" is and how someone would find themselves there. Maybe this is it. PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms). Be on guard for this shite. It can be powerful, and the nic bitch follows in on its heels, waiting for you to get to "fuck it".
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on May 11, 2016, 08:57:00 AM
Quote from: kubiackalpha
P.A.W.S. has been known to cause relapse in those unsuspecting few. The know-it-alls. The I have this down and done in 30days. Or those that plan on leaving a self help, accountability group such as this. Glad you posted this. I know this site has a place for all if not a lot of this information. Some of it gets buried deep due to years of use. Which is a good sign that this site works! But, I wonder if a knew cataloguing system isn't due so it is easier to navigate....especially with The Suck and Fog.
Part of it is the process of discovery, for me at least. If it were all laid out on a table like a buffet, I probably would skip most of it. You know how they post all of those links in the roll when they start a new month? I didn't even pay attention to that after the first day. (If you look at August's roll, you can see where I put a broad proclamation above these links that says "Check out these links below - valuable information".)
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: kubiackalpha on May 11, 2016, 09:08:00 AM
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: kubiackalpha
P.A.W.S. has been known to cause relapse in those unsuspecting few. The know-it-alls. The I have this down and done in 30days. Or those that plan on leaving a self help, accountability group such as this. Glad you posted this. I know this site has a place for all if not a lot of this information. Some of it gets buried deep due to years of use. Which is a good sign that this site works! But, I wonder if a knew cataloguing system isn't due so it is easier to navigate....especially with The Suck and Fog.
Part of it is the process of discovery, for me at least. If it were all laid out on a table like a buffet, I probably would skip most of it. You know how they post all of those links in the roll when they start a new month? I didn't even pay attention to that after the first day. (If you look at August's roll, you can see where I put a broad proclamation above these links that says "Check out these links below - valuable information".)
See, I guess that is where I am lacking. I have 99% of this information in my head and when I make a statement like my head hurts people assume I don't know that it is more than likely from The Suck. But, I do know. That is why I guess I see a cataloguing system needs revamped while those that are not in my head don't. I know I can equate it to what you do. When my friend was at Oklahoma State for his ME I went to the library with him and we went to the engineering section (HUMONGOUS). I just grabbed books and started reading. I was a kid in a Candy Store not knowing more than that I had an interest in engineering. You would probably just find the book you need and be done with it.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on May 11, 2016, 09:38:00 AM
Answering the three questions - Reprise

I am now at day 77. Two months ago, I posted some thoughts in here (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9654281&t=11541810) about how cavers should go about answering the three questions. These thoughts were based on what I had learned about addiction and caving to that point. Not having caved, I can't, and don't ever want to, speak from experience. That's a major reason why I'm so interested in the subject of addiction and relapse. It's too late for me to prevent the addiction, but I can prevent relapse, if I learn how to do it.

So what have I learned recently about caving (relapse)?

Relapse is a process, it's not an event. (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/relapse-prevention.htm)

It's actually a three step process, consisting of the following:

Emotional relapse.
Mental relapse.
Physical relapse.


In emotional relapse, you're not thinking about using. But your emotions and behaviors are setting you up for a possible relapse in the future.

The signs of emotional relapse are:
These signs sound familiar? Go back a few posts and read about post acute withdrawal symptoms. Seriously, learn to relax. Make sure you have others you can share this with. Recognizes these symptoms for what they are. You are moving in the direction of a cave.

If you don't get yourself turned away from caving during your emotional relapse, you will move into mental relapse.

In mental relapse there's a war going on in your mind. Part of you wants to use, but part of you doesn't. In the early phase of mental relapse you're just idly thinking about using. But in the later phase you're definitely thinking about using.

The signs of mental relapse are:It gets harder to make the right choices as the pull of addiction gets stronger. If you don't catch yourself here, you will cave.

When you get the craving, play it through in your mind. Get past the cave and imagine what life then looks like. Remember posting day 1. Remember the suck. Remember how you felt when you initially tossed your can and posted day 1. That's where you will be. It will be like you never quit, because you didn't quit, you stopped.

Reach out. This is the time to open your contacts list and text or call someone and let them know what's going on with you.

Distract yourself. Go for a walk. Get on KTC and go to the Wildcard section and play "This or That", "One Word Post", or "Count to a Million".

Get through the next 30 minutes. Promise yourself to wait 30 minutes before using or buying nicotine, and then wait.

Remember one day at a time. Promise yourself you will get through today. Then go on KTC and post a promise to get through today. Post and ghost, if you have to. Just make that promise.

Do something that relaxes you (assuming this is not alcohol or drugs).

If you don't do something like mentioned above, and get yourself turned around during the mental relapse, you will find yourself in the car on the way to get nicotine. At this point, you will cave.

So, how does this change my advice on answering the three questions? The answers to the three questions lie much earlier in the caving process than I originally suspected. "What happened?" should describe the mental relapse. "Why did it happen?" should examine how the caver moved from emotional relapse into mental relapse. What will change? What will the caver change to recognize when he/she is in emotional relapse and GTFO? Nothing changes, if nothing changes.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: danojeno on May 12, 2016, 07:31:00 AM
Quote from: wildirish317
Answering the three questions - Reprise

I am now at day 77. Two months ago, I posted some thoughts in here (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9654281&t=11541810) about how cavers should go about answering the three questions. These thoughts were based on what I had learned about addiction and caving to that point. Not having caved, I can't, and don't ever want to, speak from experience. That's a major reason why I'm so interested in the subject of addiction and relapse. It's too late for me to prevent the addiction, but I can prevent relapse, if I learn how to do it.

So what have I learned recently about caving (relapse)?

Relapse is a process, it's not an event. (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/relapse-prevention.htm)

It's actually a three step process, consisting of the following:

Emotional relapse.
Mental relapse.
Physical relapse.


In emotional relapse, you're not thinking about using. But your emotions and behaviors are setting you up for a possible relapse in the future.

The signs of emotional relapse are:
  • Anxiety
  • Intolerance
  • Anger
  • Defensiveness
  • Mood swings
  • Isolation
  • Not asking for help
  • Not going to meetings (or not posting on KTC)
  • Poor eating habits
  • Poor sleep habits
These signs sound familiar? Go back a few posts and read about post acute withdrawal symptoms. Seriously, learn to relax. Make sure you have others you can share this with. Recognizes these symptoms for what they are. You are moving in the direction of a cave.

If you don't get yourself turned away from caving during your emotional relapse, you will move into mental relapse.

In mental relapse there's a war going on in your mind. Part of you wants to use, but part of you doesn't. In the early phase of mental relapse you're just idly thinking about using. But in the later phase you're definitely thinking about using.

The signs of mental relapse are:
  • Thinking about people, places, and things you used with
  • Glamorizing your past use
  • Lying
  • Hanging out with old using friends
  • Fantasizing about using
  • Thinking about relapsing
  • Planning your relapse around other people's schedules
It gets harder to make the right choices as the pull of addiction gets stronger. If you don't catch yourself here, you will cave.

When you get the craving, play it through in your mind. Get past the cave and imagine what life then looks like. Remember posting day 1. Remember the suck. Remember how you felt when you initially tossed your can and posted day 1. That's where you will be. It will be like you never quit, because you didn't quit, you stopped.

Reach out. This is the time to open your contacts list and text or call someone and let them know what's going on with you.

Distract yourself. Go for a walk. Get on KTC and go to the Wildcard section and play "This or That", "One Word Post", or "Count to a Million".

Get through the next 30 minutes. Promise yourself to wait 30 minutes before using or buying nicotine, and then wait.

Remember one day at a time. Promise yourself you will get through today. Then go on KTC and post a promise to get through today. Post and ghost, if you have to. Just make that promise.

Do something that relaxes you (assuming this is not alcohol or drugs).

If you don't do something like mentioned above, and get yourself turned around during the mental relapse, you will find yourself in the car on the way to get nicotine. At this point, you will cave.

So, how does this change my advice on answering the three questions? The answers to the three questions lie much earlier in the caving process than I originally suspected. "What happened?" should describe the mental relapse. "Why did it happen?" should examine how the caver moved from emotional relapse into mental relapse. What will change? What will the caver change to recognize when he/she is in emotional relapse and GTFO? Nothing changes, if nothing changes.
It's pretty amazing how this stuff plays out. Unfortunately I can relate down to the letter. Thanks for sharing.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on May 13, 2016, 12:37:00 PM
Fences

Day 79

I hate fences! Always have, always will. I'm too old to climb the damn things any more.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: kubiackalpha on May 14, 2016, 09:59:00 AM
Quote from: wildirish317
Fences

Day 79

I hate fences! Always have, always will. I'm too old to climb the damn things any more.
? Metaphorical fences?
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on May 14, 2016, 04:32:00 PM
Quote from: kubiackalpha
Quote from: wildirish317
Fences

Day 79

I hate fences! Always have, always will. I'm too old to climb the damn things any more.
? Metaphorical fences?
Yeah, sort of. I've been asked (or told) to leave a couple of different "months" now. Funny how people circle the wagons. We've even done it with #Junited, but that was more in defense against Swilderbeast and his vileness. I don't know that we've ever asked or demanded someone from another month stop contributing.

I'm okay with it. Saddened, but okay. Like I said, this is a well traveled road. People will continue to quit (and cave) whether I contribute or not. It was fun while it lasted though. I've leaned heavy on this site to get me through this 80 day period. It's time that I learn to function in society with less reliance.

So, I'm sticking to June 2016 for any comments I may have about quitting, addiction, or recovery. I'll still post roll with other groups though. Especially the older ones. I think they appreciate the company.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: kubiackalpha on May 14, 2016, 07:00:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: kubiackalpha
Quote from: wildirish317
Fences

Day 79

I hate fences! Always have, always will. I'm too old to climb the damn things any more.
? Metaphorical fences?
Yeah, sort of. I've been asked (or told) to leave a couple of different "months" now. Funny how people circle the wagons. We've even done it with #Junited, but that was more in defense against Swilderbeast and his vileness. I don't know that we've ever asked or demanded someone from another month stop contributing.

I'm okay with it. Saddened, but okay. Like I said, this is a well traveled road. People will continue to quit (and cave) whether I contribute or not. It was fun while it lasted though. I've leaned heavy on this site to get me through this 80 day period. It's time that I learn to function in society with less reliance.

So, I'm sticking to June 2016 for any comments I may have about quitting, addiction, or recovery. I'll still post roll with other groups though. Especially the older ones. I think they appreciate the company.
Old schoolers know what is up and the young ones dont. The younger groups probably feel a bit invaded for whatever reason. Acceptance sucks. Once mastered serenity shal come. Besides. You got the Prof here to suggest you also check out the term powerlessness.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on May 14, 2016, 07:49:00 PM
Quote from: kubiackalpha
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: kubiackalpha
Quote from: wildirish317
Fences

Day 79

I hate fences! Always have, always will. I'm too old to climb the damn things any more.
? Metaphorical fences?
Yeah, sort of. I've been asked (or told) to leave a couple of different "months" now. Funny how people circle the wagons. We've even done it with #Junited, but that was more in defense against Swilderbeast and his vileness. I don't know that we've ever asked or demanded someone from another month stop contributing.

I'm okay with it. Saddened, but okay. Like I said, this is a well traveled road. People will continue to quit (and cave) whether I contribute or not. It was fun while it lasted though. I've leaned heavy on this site to get me through this 80 day period. It's time that I learn to function in society with less reliance.

So, I'm sticking to June 2016 for any comments I may have about quitting, addiction, or recovery. I'll still post roll with other groups though. Especially the older ones. I think they appreciate the company.
Old schoolers know what is up and the young ones dont. The younger groups probably feel a bit invaded for whatever reason. Acceptance sucks. Once mastered serenity shal come. Besides. You got the Prof here to suggest you also check out the term powerlessness.
Haha. It's not by might, not by power, but by My Spirit (says the Lord).
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Rawls on May 15, 2016, 09:59:00 AM
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: kubiackalpha
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: kubiackalpha
Quote from: wildirish317
Fences

Day 79

I hate fences! Always have, always will. I'm too old to climb the damn things any more.
? Metaphorical fences?
Yeah, sort of. I've been asked (or told) to leave a couple of different "months" now. Funny how people circle the wagons. We've even done it with #Junited, but that was more in defense against Swilderbeast and his vileness. I don't know that we've ever asked or demanded someone from another month stop contributing.

I'm okay with it. Saddened, but okay. Like I said, this is a well traveled road. People will continue to quit (and cave) whether I contribute or not. It was fun while it lasted though. I've leaned heavy on this site to get me through this 80 day period. It's time that I learn to function in society with less reliance.

So, I'm sticking to June 2016 for any comments I may have about quitting, addiction, or recovery. I'll still post roll with other groups though. Especially the older ones. I think they appreciate the company.
Old schoolers know what is up and the young ones dont. The younger groups probably feel a bit invaded for whatever reason. Acceptance sucks. Once mastered serenity shal come. Besides. You got the Prof here to suggest you also check out the term powerlessness.
Haha. It's not by might, not by power, but by My Spirit (says the Lord).
Amen...
Good stuff in here Wild.
Appreciate your help.
I Quit with you today.
Rawls 545
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on May 15, 2016, 09:28:00 PM
Quote from: Rawls
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: kubiackalpha
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: kubiackalpha
Quote from: wildirish317
Fences

Day 79

I hate fences! Always have, always will. I'm too old to climb the damn things any more.
? Metaphorical fences?
Yeah, sort of. I've been asked (or told) to leave a couple of different "months" now. Funny how people circle the wagons. We've even done it with #Junited, but that was more in defense against Swilderbeast and his vileness. I don't know that we've ever asked or demanded someone from another month stop contributing.

I'm okay with it. Saddened, but okay. Like I said, this is a well traveled road. People will continue to quit (and cave) whether I contribute or not. It was fun while it lasted though. I've leaned heavy on this site to get me through this 80 day period. It's time that I learn to function in society with less reliance.

So, I'm sticking to June 2016 for any comments I may have about quitting, addiction, or recovery. I'll still post roll with other groups though. Especially the older ones. I think they appreciate the company.
Old schoolers know what is up and the young ones dont. The younger groups probably feel a bit invaded for whatever reason. Acceptance sucks. Once mastered serenity shal come. Besides. You got the Prof here to suggest you also check out the term powerlessness.
Haha. It's not by might, not by power, but by My Spirit (says the Lord).
Amen...
Good stuff in here Wild.
Appreciate your help.
I Quit with you today.
Rawls 545
Thanks Rawls. I've been reading your intro, and found this (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=8843696&t=10856560). It's nice to know I'll get through this, just like everyone else has.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: ChickDip on May 16, 2016, 02:00:00 AM
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: Rawls
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: kubiackalpha
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: kubiackalpha
Quote from: wildirish317
Fences

Day 79

I hate fences! Always have, always will. I'm too old to climb the damn things any more.
? Metaphorical fences?
Yeah, sort of. I've been asked (or told) to leave a couple of different "months" now. Funny how people circle the wagons. We've even done it with #Junited, but that was more in defense against Swilderbeast and his vileness. I don't know that we've ever asked or demanded someone from another month stop contributing.

I'm okay with it. Saddened, but okay. Like I said, this is a well traveled road. People will continue to quit (and cave) whether I contribute or not. It was fun while it lasted though. I've leaned heavy on this site to get me through this 80 day period. It's time that I learn to function in society with less reliance.

So, I'm sticking to June 2016 for any comments I may have about quitting, addiction, or recovery. I'll still post roll with other groups though. Especially the older ones. I think they appreciate the company.
Old schoolers know what is up and the young ones dont. The younger groups probably feel a bit invaded for whatever reason. Acceptance sucks. Once mastered serenity shal come. Besides. You got the Prof here to suggest you also check out the term powerlessness.
Haha. It's not by might, not by power, but by My Spirit (says the Lord).
Amen...
Good stuff in here Wild.
Appreciate your help.
I Quit with you today.
Rawls 545
Thanks Rawls. I've been reading your intro, and found this (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=8843696&t=10856560). It's nice to know I'll get through this, just like everyone else has.
You, my friend, are welcome any time, anywhere, whomever doesn't welcome you, will be in deficet.
The help and knowledge you bring is only beneficial.
Thank you.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Mike1966 on May 22, 2016, 04:41:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
The Symptoms of Post Acute Withdrawal (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm)

Why am I doing this? Why am I posting shit on a random thread buried so deep in a random website that nobody other than myself will find it, much less read it? I used to think I was helping other people like me. Fock that. There are no other people like me, and everything I post on this thread is old news. This website is about 11 years old, and there have been 12 groups go through this process in each of the 11 years, so this path has been traveled at least 132 times. I don't have anything new to add.

I guess, like my good friend Kubiackalpha stated earlier today, "Writing is therapeutic." So I'm finished writing for a moment. Let me just post some juicy "old news" from the site I linked above.

The most common post-acute withdrawal symptoms are:
  • Mood swings
  • Anxiety
  • Irritability
  • Tiredness
  • Variable energy
  • Low enthusiasm
  • Variable concentration
  • Disturbed sleep
Post-acute withdrawal feels like a rollercoaster of symptoms. In the beginning, your symptoms will change minute to minute and hour to hour. Later as you recover further they will disappear for a few weeks or months only to return again. As you continue to recover the good stretches will get longer and longer. But the bad periods of post-acute withdrawal can be just as intense and last just as long.

Each post-acute withdrawal episode usually last for a few days. Once you've been in recovery for a while, you will find that each post-acute withdrawal episode usually lasts for a few days. There is no obvious trigger for most episodes. You will wake up one day feeling irritable and have low energy. If you hang on for just a few days, it will lift just as quickly as it started. After a while you'll develop confidence that you can get through post-acute withdrawal, because you'll know that each episode is time limited.

Post-acute withdrawal usually lasts for 2 years. This is one of the most important things you need to remember. If you're up for the challenge you can get though this. But if you think that post-acute withdrawal will only last for a few months, then you'll get caught off guard, and when you're disappointed you're more likely to relapse. (Reference: www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org (http://www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org))

Wait, wat??? TWO FOCKING YEARS?!?!?

I don't have two years. I can only do this for today. I can only do this for myself. Bless you Kubiackalpha, I'm depressed too.

Again, old hat, old news to most of you. I would spare you, and put it somewhere else, but you don't have to read it.

I remember when I was a kid, the first time I realized that the sun didn't actually land on that field way over there. Great focking discovery for me!! Everyone else around me already knew this. This is how I feel on this site.

Hopefully, I'll look back at this post TWO FOCKING YEARS from now and think "My God, why did I post that shite?"
Good stuff bro. I hadn't seen It before. It's good to know there's light at at the end of the tunnel. Even if if it is 2 years down the road. I've made it 6 to 9 months a few times on my own over the last 30 years, only to get hit with a "post acute withdrawal episode" and relapsed each time. Maybe this post will help next time. I'm going to bookmark it.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on June 03, 2016, 08:02:00 AM
100 Days In - Now What?

This is a rendition of my HOF speech, which will fade into history. My intro, however, can be bumped to the top of the list at any time.

After 100 days, we are supposed to have the tools it takes to remain quit. What are these tools? They are different for every quitter. Basically, the habits you've picked up over the past 100 days to help you remain quit are your tools to remain quit. These are mine:

Tool #1: The Promise
For the past 100 days, the first thing I do after getting dressed is post my promise, to myself and to the world of KTC, that I will remain quit today. This is huge, and probably enough to help maintain my quit.

Tool #2: The Accountability and Brotherhood
Should I happen to miss roll, to miss my promise, I expect quite a few people to text me to see if I'm okay. Even Mrs. Irish will occasionally ask me if I've posted roll today. People other than me expect me to do this every day. I have to live up to it.

Tool #3: New Quitters
You never want to get too far removed from the suck, the fog, and the funk. You don't ever want to experience these things first hand again. The Law of Addiction maintains that you will experience them if you cave. By supporting and keeping up with new quitters, you can have a constant reminder of how bad the first 100 days are, and continual reinforcement of your decision to remain quit.

Tool #4: KTC Wildcard
Sometimes we just need some type of diversion to get through the next few minutes. I gravitate toward "One Word Post" and "This or That", but there are dozens of threads in this section to occupy your mind.

Of course, there are hundreds of other tools available at KTC to use to remain quit, but these are the four that I will continue to use, the tools that have become my habits. We are creatures of habit. In order to remain quit, we must develop daily habits that make it easier not to use nicotine. The only way to stay quit is to stay quit.

I want to thank everyone that I've encountered on this site. Every encounter has been special, and I don't want to diminish one by naming another, and it will take more than the next 100 days to list and describe them all. That being said, let's quit on!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: FMBM707 on June 03, 2016, 08:28:00 AM
Quote from: wildirish317
100 Days In - Now What?

This is a rendition of my HOF speech, which will fade into history. My intro, however, can be bumped to the top of the list at any time.

After 100 days, we are supposed to have the tools it takes to remain quit. What are these tools? They are different for every quitter. Basically, the habits you've picked up over the past 100 days to help you remain quit are your tools to remain quit. These are mine:

Tool #1: The Promise
For the past 100 days, the first thing I do after getting dressed is post my promise, to myself and to the world of KTC, that I will remain quit today. This is huge, and probably enough to help maintain my quit.

Tool #2: The Accountability and Brotherhood
Should I happen to miss roll, to miss my promise, I expect quite a few people to text me to see if I'm okay. Even Mrs. Irish will occasionally ask me if I've posted roll today. People other than me expect me to do this every day. I have to live up to it.

Tool #3: New Quitters
You never want to get too far removed from the suck, the fog, and the funk. You don't ever want to experience these things first hand again. The Law of Addiction maintains that you will experience them if you cave. By supporting and keeping up with new quitters, you can have a constant reminder of how bad the first 100 days are, and continual reinforcement of your decision to remain quit.

Tool #4: KTC Wildcard
Sometimes we just need some type of diversion to get through the next few minutes. I gravitate toward "One Word Post" and "This or That", but there are dozens of threads in this section to occupy your mind.

Of course, there are hundreds of other tools available at KTC to use to remain quit, but these are the four that I will continue to use, the tools that have become my habits. We are creatures of habit. In order to remain quit, we must develop daily habits that make it easier not to use nicotine. The only way to stay quit is to stay quit.

I want to thank everyone that I've encountered on this site. Every encounter has been special, and I don't want to diminish one by naming another, and it will take more than the next 100 days to list and describe them all. That being said, let's quit on!
Congrats on 100 and hitting the HOF wildirish!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: JB65 on June 03, 2016, 09:32:00 AM
Quote from: FMBM707
Quote from: wildirish317
100 Days In - Now What?

This is a rendition of my HOF speech, which will fade into history. My intro, however, can be bumped to the top of the list at any time.

After 100 days, we are supposed to have the tools it takes to remain quit. What are these tools? They are different for every quitter. Basically, the habits you've picked up over the past 100 days to help you remain quit are your tools to remain quit. These are mine:

Tool #1: The Promise
For the past 100 days, the first thing I do after getting dressed is post my promise, to myself and to the world of KTC, that I will remain quit today. This is huge, and probably enough to help maintain my quit.

Tool #2: The Accountability and Brotherhood
Should I happen to miss roll, to miss my promise, I expect quite a few people to text me to see if I'm okay. Even Mrs. Irish will occasionally ask me if I've posted roll today. People other than me expect me to do this every day. I have to live up to it.

Tool #3: New Quitters
You never want to get too far removed from the suck, the fog, and the funk. You don't ever want to experience these things first hand again. The Law of Addiction maintains that you will experience them if you cave. By supporting and keeping up with new quitters, you can have a constant reminder of how bad the first 100 days are, and continual reinforcement of your decision to remain quit.

Tool #4: KTC Wildcard
Sometimes we just need some type of diversion to get through the next few minutes. I gravitate toward "One Word Post" and "This or That", but there are dozens of threads in this section to occupy your mind.

Of course, there are hundreds of other tools available at KTC to use to remain quit, but these are the four that I will continue to use, the tools that have become my habits. We are creatures of habit. In order to remain quit, we must develop daily habits that make it easier not to use nicotine. The only way to stay quit is to stay quit.

I want to thank everyone that I've encountered on this site. Every encounter has been special, and I don't want to diminish one by naming another, and it will take more than the next 100 days to list and describe them all. That being said, let's quit on!
Congrats on 100 and hitting the HOF wildirish!
'oh yeah'
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: paul-san on June 03, 2016, 09:46:00 AM
Quote from: JB65
Quote from: FMBM707
Quote from: wildirish317
100 Days In - Now What?

This is a rendition of my HOF speech, which will fade into history. My intro, however, can be bumped to the top of the list at any time.

After 100 days, we are supposed to have the tools it takes to remain quit. What are these tools? They are different for every quitter. Basically, the habits you've picked up over the past 100 days to help you remain quit are your tools to remain quit. These are mine:

Tool #1: The Promise
For the past 100 days, the first thing I do after getting dressed is post my promise, to myself and to the world of KTC, that I will remain quit today. This is huge, and probably enough to help maintain my quit.

Tool #2: The Accountability and Brotherhood
Should I happen to miss roll, to miss my promise, I expect quite a few people to text me to see if I'm okay. Even Mrs. Irish will occasionally ask me if I've posted roll today. People other than me expect me to do this every day. I have to live up to it.

Tool #3: New Quitters
You never want to get too far removed from the suck, the fog, and the funk. You don't ever want to experience these things first hand again. The Law of Addiction maintains that you will experience them if you cave. By supporting and keeping up with new quitters, you can have a constant reminder of how bad the first 100 days are, and continual reinforcement of your decision to remain quit.

Tool #4: KTC Wildcard
Sometimes we just need some type of diversion to get through the next few minutes. I gravitate toward "One Word Post" and "This or That", but there are dozens of threads in this section to occupy your mind.

Of course, there are hundreds of other tools available at KTC to use to remain quit, but these are the four that I will continue to use, the tools that have become my habits. We are creatures of habit. In order to remain quit, we must develop daily habits that make it easier not to use nicotine. The only way to stay quit is to stay quit.

I want to thank everyone that I've encountered on this site. Every encounter has been special, and I don't want to diminish one by naming another, and it will take more than the next 100 days to list and describe them all. That being said, let's quit on!
Congrats on 100 and hitting the HOF wildirish!
'oh yeah'
WildIrish, Big time Congrats in reaching 100 and the HOF. You're a true inspiration with what you've done with you quit and how you share your experience with the rest of us here. Fine footsteps to follow! Enjoy the milestone, great achievement and we'll see ya at roll!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: kkljinc on June 03, 2016, 10:15:00 AM
Congrats Wild, on the 100 days, I know that first floor is a lot of work. Thanks for posting with June of 13 everyday, it's nice to see your progression. Celebrate you deserve it.

KK
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: AppleJack on June 03, 2016, 11:01:00 AM
Quote from: KKLJINC
Congrats Wild, on the 100 days, I know that first floor is a lot of work. Thanks for posting with June of 13 everyday, it's nice to see your progression. Celebrate you deserve it.

KK
Grats on that 100, man!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: KingNothing on June 03, 2016, 11:31:00 AM
Quote from: AppleJack
Quote from: KKLJINC
Congrats Wild, on the 100 days, I know that first floor is a lot of work. Thanks for posting with June of 13 everyday, it's nice to see your progression. Celebrate you deserve it.

KK
Grats on that 100, man!
Congrats Irish on that first floor. You're a leader and it shows. Keep it up. 'oh yeah'
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: newtexican on June 03, 2016, 12:57:00 PM
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: AppleJack
Quote from: KKLJINC
Congrats Wild, on the 100 days, I know that first floor is a lot of work. Thanks for posting with June of 13 everyday, it's nice to see your progression. Celebrate you deserve it.

KK
Grats on that 100, man!
Congrats Irish on that first floor. You're a leader and it shows. Keep it up. 'oh yeah'
You sir have done well for yourself and for several in the group. Congrats and we all appreciate your support through our individual quits.
I appreciate you taking the time to show me the ropes and welcoming me into the group.
#Junited Hall of Famer and BAQ
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: JGlav on June 03, 2016, 03:22:00 PM
Quote from: newtexican
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: AppleJack
Quote from: KKLJINC
Congrats Wild, on the 100 days, I know that first floor is a lot of work. Thanks for posting with June of 13 everyday, it's nice to see your progression. Celebrate you deserve it.

KK
Grats on that 100, man!
Congrats Irish on that first floor. You're a leader and it shows. Keep it up. 'oh yeah'
You sir have done well for yourself and for several in the group. Congrats and we all appreciate your support through our individual quits.
I appreciate you taking the time to show me the ropes and welcoming me into the group.
#Junited Hall of Famer and BAQ
Have to come in and congratulate an Irishman.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: ChickDip on June 03, 2016, 03:36:00 PM
Quote from: JGlav
Quote from: newtexican
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: AppleJack
Quote from: KKLJINC
Congrats Wild, on the 100 days, I know that first floor is a lot of work. Thanks for posting with June of 13 everyday, it's nice to see your progression. Celebrate you deserve it.

KK
Grats on that 100, man!
Congrats Irish on that first floor. You're a leader and it shows. Keep it up. 'oh yeah'
You sir have done well for yourself and for several in the group. Congrats and we all appreciate your support through our individual quits.
I appreciate you taking the time to show me the ropes and welcoming me into the group.
#Junited Hall of Famer and BAQ
Have to come in and congratulate an Irishman.
Awesome day for you today, I knew you were legit from the beginning.
Keep it up.!!
Congrats Irish!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on July 01, 2016, 09:16:00 AM
Living with PAWs - day 128

Mood swings
Anxiety
Irritability
Tiredness
Variable energy
Low enthusiasm
Variable concentration
Disturbed sleep

Mrs. Irish and I started off on our daily walk with the dogs this morning. I had set two sprinklers out in the yard last evening, and ran them for a couple of hours because our grass is getting dry. The sod is less than a year old, and we are concerned that it may die if it gets too dry.

Mrs. Irish asked if the sprinklers had covered the entire yard, and I blew up. Our morning routine consists of a series of rituals that result in me leaving for work between 7:05 and 7:10. There is no room to add any tasks. Now I'm faced with repositioning the sprinklers and turning them on. I respond in an angry manner and, Mrs. Irish being who she is, took me to task.

She pointed out several occasions over the past couple of weeks where I have reacted in anger to normal life events. I hit my head on a lamp frame and let loose a long string of f-bombs, far too many than the event warranted, for example. Some of the things she told me about, I don't recall. I began to think maybe I'm losing my mind. I thought about NewTexican, and his enrollment in anger management classes.

Is this all due to quitting nicotine? Should I go back to nicotine to return to a normal life? (See how sneaky the nic bitch can be? I even had a dip dream last night.) I was totally freaked out. Then I remembered PAWs. Hell, it's in my signature. I click the link and there are the symptoms, plain as day. Anxious, irritable, tired, low enthusiasm, variable concentration, yes, that's how I feel. Damn. So, what do I do about it?

I click on the link that leads me to the PAWs web page. (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm). Here, I find the beginning of my answer. I say beginning because these are general guidelines, and I have to figure out how to apply them to me, here and now. This is what I find:

"Give yourself lots of little breaks over the next two years. Tell yourself "what I am doing is enough." Be good to yourself. That is what most addicts can't do, and that's what you must learn in recovery. Recovery is the opposite of addiction.

Sometimes you'll have little energy or enthusiasm for anything. Understand this and don't over book your life. Give yourself permission to focus on your recovery."

And:

"Being able to relax will help you through post-acute withdrawal. When you're tense you tend to dwell on your symptoms and make them worse. When you're relaxed it's easier to not get caught up in them. You aren't as triggered by your symptoms which means you're less likely to relapse."

What I am doing is enough. Don't over-book myself. Learn to relax.

That's my plan.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: RDB on July 01, 2016, 10:30:00 AM
Quote from: wildirish317
Living with PAWs - day 128

Mood swings
Anxiety
Irritability
Tiredness
Variable energy
Low enthusiasm
Variable concentration
Disturbed sleep

Mrs. Irish and I started off on our daily walk with the dogs this morning. I had set two sprinklers out in the yard last evening, and ran them for a couple of hours because our grass is getting dry. The sod is less than a year old, and we are concerned that it may die if it gets too dry.

Mrs. Irish asked if the sprinklers had covered the entire yard, and I blew up. Our morning routine consists of a series of rituals that result in me leaving for work between 7:05 and 7:10. There is no room to add any tasks. Now I'm faced with repositioning the sprinklers and turning them on. I respond in an angry manner and, Mrs. Irish being who she is, took me to task.

She pointed out several occasions over the past couple of weeks where I have reacted in anger to normal life events. I hit my head on a lamp frame and let loose a long string of f-bombs, far too many than the event warranted, for example. Some of the things she told me about, I don't recall. I began to think maybe I'm losing my mind. I thought about NewTexican, and his enrollment in anger management classes.

Is this all due to quitting nicotine? Should I go back to nicotine to return to a normal life? (See how sneaky the nic bitch can be? I even had a dip dream last night.) I was totally freaked out. Then I remembered PAWs. Hell, it's in my signature. I click the link and there are the symptoms, plain as day. Anxious, irritable, tired, low enthusiasm, variable concentration, yes, that's how I feel. Damn. So, what do I do about it?

I click on the link that leads me to the PAWs web page. (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm). Here, I find the beginning of my answer. I say beginning because these are general guidelines, and I have to figure out how to apply them to me, here and now. This is what I find:

"Give yourself lots of little breaks over the next two years. Tell yourself "what I am doing is enough." Be good to yourself. That is what most addicts can't do, and that's what you must learn in recovery. Recovery is the opposite of addiction.

Sometimes you'll have little energy or enthusiasm for anything. Understand this and don't over book your life. Give yourself permission to focus on your recovery."

And:

"Being able to relax will help you through post-acute withdrawal. When you're tense you tend to dwell on your symptoms and make them worse. When you're relaxed it's easier to not get caught up in them. You aren't as triggered by your symptoms which means you're less likely to relapse."

What I am doing is enough. Don't over-book myself. Learn to relax.

That's my plan.

I needed that today. I'm kind of stretched to my limit at the moment, and it's good to have an idea why. Thanks.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Mike1966 on July 01, 2016, 10:51:00 AM
Quote from: RDB1972
Quote from: wildirish317
Living with PAWs - day 128

Mood swings
Anxiety
Irritability
Tiredness
Variable energy
Low enthusiasm
Variable concentration
Disturbed sleep

Mrs. Irish and I started off on our daily walk with the dogs this morning. I had set two sprinklers out in the yard last evening, and ran them for a couple of hours because our grass is getting dry. The sod is less than a year old, and we are concerned that it may die if it gets too dry.

Mrs. Irish asked if the sprinklers had covered the entire yard, and I blew up. Our morning routine consists of a series of rituals that result in me leaving for work between 7:05 and 7:10. There is no room to add any tasks. Now I'm faced with repositioning the sprinklers and turning them on. I respond in an angry manner and, Mrs. Irish being who she is, took me to task.

She pointed out several occasions over the past couple of weeks where I have reacted in anger to normal life events. I hit my head on a lamp frame and let loose a long string of f-bombs, far too many than the event warranted, for example. Some of the things she told me about, I don't recall. I began to think maybe I'm losing my mind. I thought about NewTexican, and his enrollment in anger management classes.

Is this all due to quitting nicotine? Should I go back to nicotine to return to a normal life? (See how sneaky the nic bitch can be? I even had a dip dream last night.) I was totally freaked out. Then I remembered PAWs. Hell, it's in my signature. I click the link and there are the symptoms, plain as day. Anxious, irritable, tired, low enthusiasm, variable concentration, yes, that's how I feel. Damn. So, what do I do about it?

I click on the link that leads me to the PAWs web page. (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm). Here, I find the beginning of my answer. I say beginning because these are general guidelines, and I have to figure out how to apply them to me, here and now. This is what I find:

"Give yourself lots of little breaks over the next two years. Tell yourself "what I am doing is enough." Be good to yourself. That is what most addicts can't do, and that's what you must learn in recovery. Recovery is the opposite of addiction.

Sometimes you'll have little energy or enthusiasm for anything. Understand this and don't over book your life. Give yourself permission to focus on your recovery."

And:

"Being able to relax will help you through post-acute withdrawal. When you're tense you tend to dwell on your symptoms and make them worse. When you're relaxed it's easier to not get caught up in them. You aren't as triggered by your symptoms which means you're less likely to relapse."

What I am doing is enough. Don't over-book myself. Learn to relax.

That's my plan.

I needed that today. I'm kind of stretched to my limit at the moment, and it's good to have an idea why. Thanks.
I'm dealing with the same thing. I consider myself a pretty calm person, but I find things that would normally just be annoying send me off into a day 1 quit-rage sometimes. Not always, I'm pretty calm most of the time now, but every once in awhile out of the blue, something will set me off and I'm boiling mad and it's like I'm standing on the outside watching it happen thinking, "WTF Mike, calm down!" My last quit attempt I did the same thing after 8 or 9 months. It'd be nice to hear from someone who's quit for 2 years plus comment on whether the rage episodes begin to go away in time.

By the way Irish, I keep re-reading your PAW article, hoping like hell they know what they're talking about. Even if it takes 2 years it'd be nice to know that there's light at the end of the tunnel
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: kubiackalpha on July 01, 2016, 03:09:00 PM
Quote from: Mike1966
Quote from: RDB1972
Quote from: wildirish317
Living with PAWs - day 128

Mood swings
Anxiety
Irritability
Tiredness
Variable energy
Low enthusiasm
Variable concentration
Disturbed sleep

Mrs. Irish and I started off on our daily walk with the dogs this morning. I had set two sprinklers out in the yard last evening, and ran them for a couple of hours because our grass is getting dry. The sod is less than a year old, and we are concerned that it may die if it gets too dry.

Mrs. Irish asked if the sprinklers had covered the entire yard, and I blew up. Our morning routine consists of a series of rituals that result in me leaving for work between 7:05 and 7:10. There is no room to add any tasks. Now I'm faced with repositioning the sprinklers and turning them on. I respond in an angry manner and, Mrs. Irish being who she is, took me to task.

She pointed out several occasions over the past couple of weeks where I have reacted in anger to normal life events. I hit my head on a lamp frame and let loose a long string of f-bombs, far too many than the event warranted, for example. Some of the things she told me about, I don't recall. I began to think maybe I'm losing my mind. I thought about NewTexican, and his enrollment in anger management classes.

Is this all due to quitting nicotine? Should I go back to nicotine to return to a normal life? (See how sneaky the nic bitch can be? I even had a dip dream last night.) I was totally freaked out. Then I remembered PAWs. Hell, it's in my signature. I click the link and there are the symptoms, plain as day. Anxious, irritable, tired, low enthusiasm, variable concentration, yes, that's how I feel. Damn. So, what do I do about it?

I click on the link that leads me to the PAWs web page. (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm). Here, I find the beginning of my answer. I say beginning because these are general guidelines, and I have to figure out how to apply them to me, here and now. This is what I find:

"Give yourself lots of little breaks over the next two years. Tell yourself "what I am doing is enough." Be good to yourself. That is what most addicts can't do, and that's what you must learn in recovery. Recovery is the opposite of addiction.

Sometimes you'll have little energy or enthusiasm for anything. Understand this and don't over book your life. Give yourself permission to focus on your recovery."

And:

"Being able to relax will help you through post-acute withdrawal. When you're tense you tend to dwell on your symptoms and make them worse. When you're relaxed it's easier to not get caught up in them. You aren't as triggered by your symptoms which means you're less likely to relapse."

What I am doing is enough. Don't over-book myself. Learn to relax.

That's my plan.

I needed that today. I'm kind of stretched to my limit at the moment, and it's good to have an idea why. Thanks.
I'm dealing with the same thing. I consider myself a pretty calm person, but I find things that would normally just be annoying send me off into a day 1 quit-rage sometimes. Not always, I'm pretty calm most of the time now, but every once in awhile out of the blue, something will set me off and I'm boiling mad and it's like I'm standing on the outside watching it happen thinking, "WTF Mike, calm down!" My last quit attempt I did the same thing after 8 or 9 months. It'd be nice to hear from someone who's quit for 2 years plus comment on whether the rage episodes begin to go away in time.

By the way Irish, I keep re-reading your PAW article, hoping like hell they know what they're talking about. Even if it takes 2 years it'd be nice to know that there's light at the end of the tunnel
There is always light, man. Just need to understand that to have the light, there is going to be clouds and even darkness. Without the Moon, no one would be there to chase the Sun to come back up. The light, which I refer to as my own personal Zen, is the balance of who I am, who I was, where I am going. It is also knowing who I really am, inside. Let me tell you, dude. I thought I was Zen before quitting. Now, so much better. Even with calm and Zen, I have B.S. in my life. So, if it happens, roll with it homie. If not. Then, rock on cat. We cannot let the glory of our own light be taken away by the darkness we encounter. Daily, I wish for the disease that is in my body to be gone. No more wondering if I am going to have my last sleep. No more wondering if the kid around the corner is going to spray me with aerosol which will make micro fissures in my skin and tons of viruses and bacterias in and I go via lysol. But, that is a flashing thought. Just there. Short term. Then I am back to living a life. And as much as I would like to be the yogi of spirituality, I am far from it. However, I don't let the thoughts of a plausible future inhibit my groove. Besides, what is a few rocks in the road compared to a life time of smooth sailing? My fog lasted about 90 days give or take. What is 90 days versus a possible smooth lifetime?
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: DjPorkchop on July 01, 2016, 03:44:00 PM
Quote from: kubiackalpha
Quote from: Mike1966
Quote from: RDB1972
Quote from: wildirish317
Living with PAWs - day 128

Mood swings
Anxiety
Irritability
Tiredness
Variable energy
Low enthusiasm
Variable concentration
Disturbed sleep

Mrs. Irish and I started off on our daily walk with the dogs this morning. I had set two sprinklers out in the yard last evening, and ran them for a couple of hours because our grass is getting dry. The sod is less than a year old, and we are concerned that it may die if it gets too dry.

Mrs. Irish asked if the sprinklers had covered the entire yard, and I blew up. Our morning routine consists of a series of rituals that result in me leaving for work between 7:05 and 7:10. There is no room to add any tasks. Now I'm faced with repositioning the sprinklers and turning them on. I respond in an angry manner and, Mrs. Irish being who she is, took me to task.

She pointed out several occasions over the past couple of weeks where I have reacted in anger to normal life events. I hit my head on a lamp frame and let loose a long string of f-bombs, far too many than the event warranted, for example. Some of the things she told me about, I don't recall. I began to think maybe I'm losing my mind. I thought about NewTexican, and his enrollment in anger management classes.

Is this all due to quitting nicotine? Should I go back to nicotine to return to a normal life? (See how sneaky the nic bitch can be? I even had a dip dream last night.) I was totally freaked out. Then I remembered PAWs. Hell, it's in my signature. I click the link and there are the symptoms, plain as day. Anxious, irritable, tired, low enthusiasm, variable concentration, yes, that's how I feel. Damn. So, what do I do about it?

I click on the link that leads me to the PAWs web page. (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm). Here, I find the beginning of my answer. I say beginning because these are general guidelines, and I have to figure out how to apply them to me, here and now. This is what I find:

"Give yourself lots of little breaks over the next two years. Tell yourself "what I am doing is enough." Be good to yourself. That is what most addicts can't do, and that's what you must learn in recovery. Recovery is the opposite of addiction.

Sometimes you'll have little energy or enthusiasm for anything. Understand this and don't over book your life. Give yourself permission to focus on your recovery."

And:

"Being able to relax will help you through post-acute withdrawal. When you're tense you tend to dwell on your symptoms and make them worse. When you're relaxed it's easier to not get caught up in them. You aren't as triggered by your symptoms which means you're less likely to relapse."

What I am doing is enough. Don't over-book myself. Learn to relax.

That's my plan.

I needed that today. I'm kind of stretched to my limit at the moment, and it's good to have an idea why. Thanks.
I'm dealing with the same thing. I consider myself a pretty calm person, but I find things that would normally just be annoying send me off into a day 1 quit-rage sometimes. Not always, I'm pretty calm most of the time now, but every once in awhile out of the blue, something will set me off and I'm boiling mad and it's like I'm standing on the outside watching it happen thinking, "WTF Mike, calm down!" My last quit attempt I did the same thing after 8 or 9 months. It'd be nice to hear from someone who's quit for 2 years plus comment on whether the rage episodes begin to go away in time.

By the way Irish, I keep re-reading your PAW article, hoping like hell they know what they're talking about. Even if it takes 2 years it'd be nice to know that there's light at the end of the tunnel
There is always light, man. Just need to understand that to have the light, there is going to be clouds and even darkness. Without the Moon, no one would be there to chase the Sun to come back up. The light, which I refer to as my own personal Zen, is the balance of who I am, who I was, where I am going. It is also knowing who I really am, inside. Let me tell you, dude. I thought I was Zen before quitting. Now, so much better. Even with calm and Zen, I have B.S. in my life. So, if it happens, roll with it homie. If not. Then, rock on cat. We cannot let the glory of our own light be taken away by the darkness we encounter. Daily, I wish for the disease that is in my body to be gone. No more wondering if I am going to have my last sleep. No more wondering if the kid around the corner is going to spray me with aerosol which will make micro fissures in my skin and tons of viruses and bacterias in and I go via lysol. But, that is a flashing thought. Just there. Short term. Then I am back to living a life. And as much as I would like to be the yogi of spirituality, I am far from it. However, I don't let the thoughts of a plausible future inhibit my groove. Besides, what is a few rocks in the road compared to a life time of smooth sailing? My fog lasted about 90 days give or take. What is 90 days versus a possible smooth lifetime?
Man reading this couldn't be any closer to home than actually being me.

First of, congrats on the first floor!

Next all the rage and going off and shit, it happens at first floor, and second floor so far and Im working on the 3rd floor and still raging. I have been on valium but its no longer really doing anything for me. I had to make a dr appointment and get back on something to help me. Im a raging nut job. HOWEVER, I am nic free.

I thank you Irish for posting your list of symptoms. It reminds me that I am not alone on this journey. Some days I go in to poor me mode or dick mode and what do I do? I Immediately run to my December 15 quit group and cry like a little baby and one thing I have noticed thus far is, no one has told me to shut the fuck up and deal with it. They have all supported me. WOW! Then I go listen to music, drink a couple beers and go on about my day.

If not for KTC and everyone helping each other, where on this Earth would we be today? I thank not only you Irish but everyone reading this and many that have came and gone.

Take care everyone and once again Irish, congrats on the HOF man. I know its late, but better late than never ;-) I quit with you EDD bud!

Ray - 289
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: danojeno on July 01, 2016, 06:55:00 PM
Quote from: DjPorkchop
Quote from: kubiackalpha
Quote from: Mike1966
Quote from: RDB1972
Quote from: wildirish317
Living with PAWs - day 128

Mood swings
Anxiety
Irritability
Tiredness
Variable energy
Low enthusiasm
Variable concentration
Disturbed sleep

Mrs. Irish and I started off on our daily walk with the dogs this morning. I had set two sprinklers out in the yard last evening, and ran them for a couple of hours because our grass is getting dry. The sod is less than a year old, and we are concerned that it may die if it gets too dry.

Mrs. Irish asked if the sprinklers had covered the entire yard, and I blew up. Our morning routine consists of a series of rituals that result in me leaving for work between 7:05 and 7:10. There is no room to add any tasks. Now I'm faced with repositioning the sprinklers and turning them on. I respond in an angry manner and, Mrs. Irish being who she is, took me to task.

She pointed out several occasions over the past couple of weeks where I have reacted in anger to normal life events. I hit my head on a lamp frame and let loose a long string of f-bombs, far too many than the event warranted, for example. Some of the things she told me about, I don't recall. I began to think maybe I'm losing my mind. I thought about NewTexican, and his enrollment in anger management classes.

Is this all due to quitting nicotine? Should I go back to nicotine to return to a normal life? (See how sneaky the nic bitch can be? I even had a dip dream last night.) I was totally freaked out. Then I remembered PAWs. Hell, it's in my signature. I click the link and there are the symptoms, plain as day. Anxious, irritable, tired, low enthusiasm, variable concentration, yes, that's how I feel. Damn. So, what do I do about it?

I click on the link that leads me to the PAWs web page. (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm). Here, I find the beginning of my answer. I say beginning because these are general guidelines, and I have to figure out how to apply them to me, here and now. This is what I find:

"Give yourself lots of little breaks over the next two years. Tell yourself "what I am doing is enough." Be good to yourself. That is what most addicts can't do, and that's what you must learn in recovery. Recovery is the opposite of addiction.

Sometimes you'll have little energy or enthusiasm for anything. Understand this and don't over book your life. Give yourself permission to focus on your recovery."

And:

"Being able to relax will help you through post-acute withdrawal. When you're tense you tend to dwell on your symptoms and make them worse. When you're relaxed it's easier to not get caught up in them. You aren't as triggered by your symptoms which means you're less likely to relapse."

What I am doing is enough. Don't over-book myself. Learn to relax.

That's my plan.

I needed that today. I'm kind of stretched to my limit at the moment, and it's good to have an idea why. Thanks.
I'm dealing with the same thing. I consider myself a pretty calm person, but I find things that would normally just be annoying send me off into a day 1 quit-rage sometimes. Not always, I'm pretty calm most of the time now, but every once in awhile out of the blue, something will set me off and I'm boiling mad and it's like I'm standing on the outside watching it happen thinking, "WTF Mike, calm down!" My last quit attempt I did the same thing after 8 or 9 months. It'd be nice to hear from someone who's quit for 2 years plus comment on whether the rage episodes begin to go away in time.

By the way Irish, I keep re-reading your PAW article, hoping like hell they know what they're talking about. Even if it takes 2 years it'd be nice to know that there's light at the end of the tunnel
There is always light, man. Just need to understand that to have the light, there is going to be clouds and even darkness. Without the Moon, no one would be there to chase the Sun to come back up. The light, which I refer to as my own personal Zen, is the balance of who I am, who I was, where I am going. It is also knowing who I really am, inside. Let me tell you, dude. I thought I was Zen before quitting. Now, so much better. Even with calm and Zen, I have B.S. in my life. So, if it happens, roll with it homie. If not. Then, rock on cat. We cannot let the glory of our own light be taken away by the darkness we encounter. Daily, I wish for the disease that is in my body to be gone. No more wondering if I am going to have my last sleep. No more wondering if the kid around the corner is going to spray me with aerosol which will make micro fissures in my skin and tons of viruses and bacterias in and I go via lysol. But, that is a flashing thought. Just there. Short term. Then I am back to living a life. And as much as I would like to be the yogi of spirituality, I am far from it. However, I don't let the thoughts of a plausible future inhibit my groove. Besides, what is a few rocks in the road compared to a life time of smooth sailing? My fog lasted about 90 days give or take. What is 90 days versus a possible smooth lifetime?
Man reading this couldn't be any closer to home than actually being me.

First of, congrats on the first floor!

Next all the rage and going off and shit, it happens at first floor, and second floor so far and Im working on the 3rd floor and still raging. I have been on valium but its no longer really doing anything for me. I had to make a dr appointment and get back on something to help me. Im a raging nut job. HOWEVER, I am nic free.

I thank you Irish for posting your list of symptoms. It reminds me that I am not alone on this journey. Some days I go in to poor me mode or dick mode and what do I do? I Immediately run to my December 15 quit group and cry like a little baby and one thing I have noticed thus far is, no one has told me to shut the fuck up and deal with it. They have all supported me. WOW! Then I go listen to music, drink a couple beers and go on about my day.

If not for KTC and everyone helping each other, where on this Earth would we be today? I thank not only you Irish but everyone reading this and many that have came and gone.

Take care everyone and once again Irish, congrats on the HOF man. I know its late, but better late than never ;-) I quit with you EDD bud!

Ray - 289
Irish, thanks for sharing this stuff. Reading this today, I thought you were describing my past year or so. However, over the last few months, I've been able to catch myself. We just spent two weeks in Mexico, together every minute. Traditionally this would mean me blowing up at least a few times and sure drama at some point. It didn't happen. I have been able to stop my response before it even happens. I'm not sure why things are getting better, but there is hope.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on July 08, 2016, 02:11:00 PM
Getting to - "Not thinking about it anymore" - day 134ish

I've read several posts, on several quit groups, where people say they've stopped posting roll because they only think about nic when they post roll. They don't want to think about nicotine anymore.

I think about nicotine every time I visit this site. In fact, I visit this site because I want to think about nicotine. I am an obsessive personality, and I'm currently obsessed with nicotine. That's why I've researched it so much, and shared most of this research in my intro thread. They say that PAWs lasts for two years. They say that, after five years, relapse is rare. After 38 years of tobacco use, 5 years is a small period of time.

There you go. I want to keep that bitch in front of me, where I can see it until my chance of relapse is rare. I've had too many times in the past 100 days that, if I didn't start the day by finding that bitch and keeping her in front of me, she would've snuck up behind me and crawled up my ass.

Not thinking about nicotine is for people who've never used nicotine. We threw that option away with the first dip or drag on a cigarette. We are addicts, and cannot become un-addicted.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: KingNothing on July 08, 2016, 02:31:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
Not thinking about nicotine is for people who've never used nicotine. We threw that option away with the first dip or drag on a cigarette. We are addicts, and cannot become un-addicted.
This is really really good stuff Irish. Thanks for the share and keep up the good work in this intro.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: suthern_gntlman on July 08, 2016, 10:08:00 PM
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: wildirish317
Not thinking about nicotine is for people who've never used nicotine. We threw that option away with the first dip or drag on a cigarette. We are addicts, and cannot become un-addicted.
This is really really good stuff Irish. Thanks for the share and keep up the good work in this intro.
Man Irish, the exact thoughts I have been thinking lately!

I had actually mosied on over here to intoductions to start writing something about this concept.

As usual, good stuff!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on July 14, 2016, 04:13:00 PM
No Excuse To Cave - NONE!

I don't know Todd, other than what I've read in his intro. His story is inspiring. His story made me cry.

If I ever feel life has given me an excuse to cave, I'm going to come here and read this, again.
Quote from: traumagnet
Whew where to begin, well brothers and sisters today should be a joyous day 7th floor with 2 trips around the sun to follow and not to be overshadowed by too many other events right. Well, what I am about to follow up with is a warning my way to pay it forward a way for me to find something positive out of what I have found out. A way to reinforce to those that think they are cured and that they may be able to try a dance with their mistress/Reaper... This is a message to the vets as well as newbies it's not over. This isn't written for sympathy or pity I knew that this was a possibility when I thought I was a tough guy with my lip packed full of death.

Friday 3-13-15 a day I will never forget, I had a colonoscopy and yep you guessed it CANCER located close to where small and large intestines come together... I was a bad ass I didn't need a spitter I gutted it this pseudo-badge of courage is probably the culprit.

Funny what goes through your head when you get that kind of news first initial shock...followed up with panic, fear then sadness. It finally really hit me Sunday a.m. I broke down the thoughts that I may not get to see my wife again, smell her hair, see her smile, hear her laugh, miss her sarcasm...not getting to see my son play sports, graduate and see him go through life not getting to be a Grandpa...Yep all those moments be shared with others and not me. I took a walk down memory lane yesterdayÂ…have I put enough away for my family, what have I left for a legacy, have I given more than I have taken, will I be remembered or just another UST statistic... All that shit goes through your head...I am sure that are a lot more emotions to follow.

Today I am up and going I have shit to do before I go for surgery. I have to use all my tools that I have acquired from KTC and apply them moving forward. THIS DOES NOT GIVE ME THE RIGHT OR EXCUSE TO CHEW! This isn't going to be an I, it will be a WE, brothers and sisters from KTC, friends and family taking this head on one day at a time. I am absolutely impressed with the men and women of KTC who have already started pumping out support....THANK YOU.
Quote from: traumagnet
So if any of you still have friends dippin tell them this if you dont have what it takes to quit nicotine you are gonna be TOO big of a pussy for chemo. Dying is easy its the living that is hard got to dig deep everyday and there would be no way in hell I could do this on my own. If it werent for the support of my wife and family, the support i get daily from the members this site and the people I have in my corner locally. I would have been consumed by this cancer shit. I have already lived through two you only have 6 months left.
Quote from: traumagnet
Well it appears that it has been awhile since I have put in an update. I had double pneumonia that landed me in the hospital for a week...then home health for a week giving me very strong antibiotics. After a week of that the nausea and pain were enough I woke up on a Monday morning and fired everyone. I called the VA and asked to be put on hospice. Hospice has been working with me to get me under control as far as pain and nausea go. I have been puking and dry heaving for days so finally last night they hooked me up to a morphine drip and a Tordol drip subQ. they have also discovered that I have chemo induced thrush from my mouth to my stomach so another obstacle to overcome.

I also carry a BRAF mutation with in the cancer war is like trying fight fires with gasoline. So I am on the hospice pony and just trying to ride whatever time I have left in relative comfort. So just trying to take it easy.

Once again just wanted to say thank you to everyone that has been on this ride with me, I also wanted to say if you text or email and I dont respond right away please dont take it personal there are days that just making it to tomorrow is the best I can do.
thanks
Trauma
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: DjPorkchop on July 14, 2016, 04:34:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
No Excuse To Cave - NONE!

I don't know Todd, other than what I've read in his intro. His story is inspiring. His story made me cry.

If I ever feel life has given me an excuse to cave, I'm going to come here and read this, again.
Quote from: traumagnet
Whew where to begin, well brothers and sisters today should be a joyous day 7th floor with 2 trips around the sun to follow and not to be overshadowed by too many other events right. Well, what I am about to follow up with is a warning my way to pay it forward a way for me to find something positive out of what I have found out. A way to reinforce to those that think they are cured and that they may be able to try a dance with their mistress/Reaper... This is a message to the vets as well as newbies it's not over. This isn't written for sympathy or pity I knew that this was a possibility when I thought I was a tough guy with my lip packed full of death.

Friday 3-13-15 a day I will never forget, I had a colonoscopy and yep you guessed it CANCER located close to where small and large intestines come together... I was a bad ass I didn't need a spitter I gutted it this pseudo-badge of courage is probably the culprit.

Funny what goes through your head when you get that kind of news first initial shock...followed up with panic, fear then sadness. It finally really hit me Sunday a.m. I broke down the thoughts that I may not get to see my wife again, smell her hair, see her smile, hear her laugh, miss her sarcasm...not getting to see my son play sports, graduate and see him go through life not getting to be a Grandpa...Yep all those moments be shared with others and not me. I took a walk down memory lane yesterdayÂ…have I put enough away for my family, what have I left for a legacy, have I given more than I have taken, will I be remembered or just another UST statistic... All that shit goes through your head...I am sure that are a lot more emotions to follow.

Today I am up and going I have shit to do before I go for surgery. I have to use all my tools that I have acquired from KTC and apply them moving forward. THIS DOES NOT GIVE ME THE RIGHT OR EXCUSE TO CHEW! This isn't going to be an I, it will be a WE, brothers and sisters from KTC, friends and family taking this head on one day at a time. I am absolutely impressed with the men and women of KTC who have already started pumping out support....THANK YOU.
Quote from: traumagnet
So if any of you still have friends dippin tell them this if you dont have what it takes to quit nicotine you are gonna be TOO big of a pussy for chemo. Dying is easy its the living that is hard got to dig deep everyday and there would be no way in hell I could do this on my own. If it werent for the support of my wife and family, the support i get daily from the members this site and the people I have in my corner locally. I would have been consumed by this cancer shit. I have already lived through two you only have 6 months left.
Quote from: traumagnet
Well it appears that it has been awhile since I have put in an update. I had double pneumonia that landed me in the hospital for a week...then home health for a week giving me very strong antibiotics. After a week of that the nausea and pain were enough I woke up on a Monday morning and fired everyone. I called the VA and asked to be put on hospice. Hospice has been working with me to get me under control as far as pain and nausea go. I have been puking and dry heaving for days so finally last night they hooked me up to a morphine drip and a Tordol drip subQ. they have also discovered that I have chemo induced thrush from my mouth to my stomach so another obstacle to overcome.

I also carry a BRAF mutation with in the cancer war is like trying fight fires with gasoline. So I am on the hospice pony and just trying to ride whatever time I have left in relative comfort. So just trying to take it easy.

Once again just wanted to say thank you to everyone that has been on this ride with me, I also wanted to say if you text or email and I dont respond right away please dont take it personal there are days that just making it to tomorrow is the best I can do.
thanks
Trauma
Oh lord what a story. I never saw that here before. That is sad.

His story hits kind of home for me. I have been having major issues lately and can not afford to go to the dr with my insurance. But it is coming to a point now that I have no options left but to go.

Also like him, I was not a spitter. I was taught when i was a kid when I started chewing that If I was not man enough to swallow the spit, then I was not man enough to chew. Swallow it was. Spitting in front of any woman, especially my mother was never an option. I did that for a good long time. Combined time maybe 20 years. I never spit. I regret that choice now for sure.

Thanks for the share Irish. I really appreciate it. It gave me serious food for thought.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: DjPorkchop on July 14, 2016, 04:38:00 PM
I found his post. I should have looked first.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on July 14, 2016, 04:39:00 PM
Quote from: DjPorkchop
Quote from: wildirish317
No Excuse To Cave - NONE!

I don't know Todd, other than what I've read in his intro. His story is inspiring. His story made me cry.

If I ever feel life has given me an excuse to cave, I'm going to come here and read this, again.
Quote from: traumagnet
Whew where to begin, well brothers and sisters today should be a joyous day 7th floor with 2 trips around the sun to follow and not to be overshadowed by too many other events right. Well, what I am about to follow up with is a warning my way to pay it forward a way for me to find something positive out of what I have found out. A way to reinforce to those that think they are cured and that they may be able to try a dance with their mistress/Reaper... This is a message to the vets as well as newbies it's not over. This isn't written for sympathy or pity I knew that this was a possibility when I thought I was a tough guy with my lip packed full of death.

Friday 3-13-15 a day I will never forget, I had a colonoscopy and yep you guessed it CANCER located close to where small and large intestines come together... I was a bad ass I didn't need a spitter I gutted it this pseudo-badge of courage is probably the culprit.

Funny what goes through your head when you get that kind of news first initial shock...followed up with panic, fear then sadness. It finally really hit me Sunday a.m. I broke down the thoughts that I may not get to see my wife again, smell her hair, see her smile, hear her laugh, miss her sarcasm...not getting to see my son play sports, graduate and see him go through life not getting to be a Grandpa...Yep all those moments be shared with others and not me. I took a walk down memory lane yesterdayÂ…have I put enough away for my family, what have I left for a legacy, have I given more than I have taken, will I be remembered or just another UST statistic... All that shit goes through your head...I am sure that are a lot more emotions to follow.

Today I am up and going I have shit to do before I go for surgery. I have to use all my tools that I have acquired from KTC and apply them moving forward. THIS DOES NOT GIVE ME THE RIGHT OR EXCUSE TO CHEW! This isn't going to be an I, it will be a WE, brothers and sisters from KTC, friends and family taking this head on one day at a time. I am absolutely impressed with the men and women of KTC who have already started pumping out support....THANK YOU.
Quote from: traumagnet
So if any of you still have friends dippin tell them this if you dont have what it takes to quit nicotine you are gonna be TOO big of a pussy for chemo. Dying is easy its the living that is hard got to dig deep everyday and there would be no way in hell I could do this on my own. If it werent for the support of my wife and family, the support i get daily from the members this site and the people I have in my corner locally. I would have been consumed by this cancer shit. I have already lived through two you only have 6 months left.
Quote from: traumagnet
Well it appears that it has been awhile since I have put in an update. I had double pneumonia that landed me in the hospital for a week...then home health for a week giving me very strong antibiotics. After a week of that the nausea and pain were enough I woke up on a Monday morning and fired everyone. I called the VA and asked to be put on hospice. Hospice has been working with me to get me under control as far as pain and nausea go. I have been puking and dry heaving for days so finally last night they hooked me up to a morphine drip and a Tordol drip subQ. they have also discovered that I have chemo induced thrush from my mouth to my stomach so another obstacle to overcome.

I also carry a BRAF mutation with in the cancer war is like trying fight fires with gasoline. So I am on the hospice pony and just trying to ride whatever time I have left in relative comfort. So just trying to take it easy.

Once again just wanted to say thank you to everyone that has been on this ride with me, I also wanted to say if you text or email and I dont respond right away please dont take it personal there are days that just making it to tomorrow is the best I can do.
thanks
Trauma
Oh lord what a story. I never saw that here before. That is sad.

His story hits kind of home for me. I have been having major issues lately and can not afford to go to the dr with my insurance. But it is coming to a point now that I have no options left but to go.

Also like him, I was not a spitter. I was taught when i was a kid when I started chewing that If I was not man enough to swallow the spit, then I was not man enough to chew. Swallow it was. Spitting in front of any woman, especially my mother was never an option. I did that for a good long time. Combined time maybe 20 years. I never spit. I regret that choice now for sure.

Thanks for the share Irish. I really appreciate it. It gave me serious food for thought.

Is this brother still with us fighting the fight?
His last post on his intro was this morning. I'm not sure if he's posting roll, or where. He called in Hospice, so I doubt he will be here very long.

I also "gutted" it, but I never got above 2 cans per week, and my colonoscopy 5 years ago was clean. They told me to come back in 10 years.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: DjPorkchop on July 14, 2016, 04:44:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: DjPorkchop
Quote from: wildirish317
No Excuse To Cave - NONE!

I don't know Todd, other than what I've read in his intro. His story is inspiring. His story made me cry.

If I ever feel life has given me an excuse to cave, I'm going to come here and read this, again.
Quote from: traumagnet
Whew where to begin, well brothers and sisters today should be a joyous day 7th floor with 2 trips around the sun to follow and not to be overshadowed by too many other events right. Well, what I am about to follow up with is a warning my way to pay it forward a way for me to find something positive out of what I have found out. A way to reinforce to those that think they are cured and that they may be able to try a dance with their mistress/Reaper... This is a message to the vets as well as newbies it's not over. This isn't written for sympathy or pity I knew that this was a possibility when I thought I was a tough guy with my lip packed full of death.

Friday 3-13-15 a day I will never forget, I had a colonoscopy and yep you guessed it CANCER located close to where small and large intestines come together... I was a bad ass I didn't need a spitter I gutted it this pseudo-badge of courage is probably the culprit.

Funny what goes through your head when you get that kind of news first initial shock...followed up with panic, fear then sadness. It finally really hit me Sunday a.m. I broke down the thoughts that I may not get to see my wife again, smell her hair, see her smile, hear her laugh, miss her sarcasm...not getting to see my son play sports, graduate and see him go through life not getting to be a Grandpa...Yep all those moments be shared with others and not me. I took a walk down memory lane yesterdayÂ…have I put enough away for my family, what have I left for a legacy, have I given more than I have taken, will I be remembered or just another UST statistic... All that shit goes through your head...I am sure that are a lot more emotions to follow.

Today I am up and going I have shit to do before I go for surgery. I have to use all my tools that I have acquired from KTC and apply them moving forward. THIS DOES NOT GIVE ME THE RIGHT OR EXCUSE TO CHEW! This isn't going to be an I, it will be a WE, brothers and sisters from KTC, friends and family taking this head on one day at a time. I am absolutely impressed with the men and women of KTC who have already started pumping out support....THANK YOU.
Quote from: traumagnet
So if any of you still have friends dippin tell them this if you dont have what it takes to quit nicotine you are gonna be TOO big of a pussy for chemo. Dying is easy its the living that is hard got to dig deep everyday and there would be no way in hell I could do this on my own. If it werent for the support of my wife and family, the support i get daily from the members this site and the people I have in my corner locally. I would have been consumed by this cancer shit. I have already lived through two you only have 6 months left.
Quote from: traumagnet
Well it appears that it has been awhile since I have put in an update. I had double pneumonia that landed me in the hospital for a week...then home health for a week giving me very strong antibiotics. After a week of that the nausea and pain were enough I woke up on a Monday morning and fired everyone. I called the VA and asked to be put on hospice. Hospice has been working with me to get me under control as far as pain and nausea go. I have been puking and dry heaving for days so finally last night they hooked me up to a morphine drip and a Tordol drip subQ. they have also discovered that I have chemo induced thrush from my mouth to my stomach so another obstacle to overcome.

I also carry a BRAF mutation with in the cancer war is like trying fight fires with gasoline. So I am on the hospice pony and just trying to ride whatever time I have left in relative comfort. So just trying to take it easy.

Once again just wanted to say thank you to everyone that has been on this ride with me, I also wanted to say if you text or email and I dont respond right away please dont take it personal there are days that just making it to tomorrow is the best I can do.
thanks
Trauma
Oh lord what a story. I never saw that here before. That is sad.

His story hits kind of home for me. I have been having major issues lately and can not afford to go to the dr with my insurance. But it is coming to a point now that I have no options left but to go.

Also like him, I was not a spitter. I was taught when i was a kid when I started chewing that If I was not man enough to swallow the spit, then I was not man enough to chew. Swallow it was. Spitting in front of any woman, especially my mother was never an option. I did that for a good long time. Combined time maybe 20 years. I never spit. I regret that choice now for sure.

Thanks for the share Irish. I really appreciate it. It gave me serious food for thought.

Is this brother still with us fighting the fight?
His last post on his intro was this morning. I'm not sure if he's posting roll, or where. He called in Hospice, so I doubt he will be here very long.

I also "gutted" it, but I never got above 2 cans per week, and my colonoscopy 5 years ago was clean. They told me to come back in 10 years.
Glad to hear you are clean man. You suppose you'll wait 10 more years or play it safe in 5?

I was a 1 can every other day guy. Good old Kodiak. Nothing but.

I'm kind of worried for my self right now as I got major issues going on and it is getting worse by the day. Your sharing his story might have just pushed me in the right direction and say screw the financials and just go get checked. Man my insurance REALLY sucks though. They literally have ages for certain tests. One very important one for males I am not old enough for yet according to the insurance company in spite of my risk of cancer and I am only 2 years younger than their 45 year old age limit. I had 9 family members die in 10 months some years back all but one from cancer. Terrible!

And thanks again for sharing. I truly do appreciate it.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: KingNothing on July 14, 2016, 04:50:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: DjPorkchop
Quote from: wildirish317
No Excuse To Cave - NONE!

I don't know Todd, other than what I've read in his intro. His story is inspiring. His story made me cry.

If I ever feel life has given me an excuse to cave, I'm going to come here and read this, again.
Quote from: traumagnet
Whew where to begin, well brothers and sisters today should be a joyous day 7th floor with 2 trips around the sun to follow and not to be overshadowed by too many other events right. Well, what I am about to follow up with is a warning my way to pay it forward a way for me to find something positive out of what I have found out. A way to reinforce to those that think they are cured and that they may be able to try a dance with their mistress/Reaper... This is a message to the vets as well as newbies it's not over. This isn't written for sympathy or pity I knew that this was a possibility when I thought I was a tough guy with my lip packed full of death.

Friday 3-13-15 a day I will never forget, I had a colonoscopy and yep you guessed it CANCER located close to where small and large intestines come together... I was a bad ass I didn't need a spitter I gutted it this pseudo-badge of courage is probably the culprit.

Funny what goes through your head when you get that kind of news first initial shock...followed up with panic, fear then sadness. It finally really hit me Sunday a.m. I broke down the thoughts that I may not get to see my wife again, smell her hair, see her smile, hear her laugh, miss her sarcasm...not getting to see my son play sports, graduate and see him go through life not getting to be a Grandpa...Yep all those moments be shared with others and not me. I took a walk down memory lane yesterdayÂ…have I put enough away for my family, what have I left for a legacy, have I given more than I have taken, will I be remembered or just another UST statistic... All that shit goes through your head...I am sure that are a lot more emotions to follow.

Today I am up and going I have shit to do before I go for surgery. I have to use all my tools that I have acquired from KTC and apply them moving forward. THIS DOES NOT GIVE ME THE RIGHT OR EXCUSE TO CHEW! This isn't going to be an I, it will be a WE, brothers and sisters from KTC, friends and family taking this head on one day at a time. I am absolutely impressed with the men and women of KTC who have already started pumping out support....THANK YOU.
Quote from: traumagnet
So if any of you still have friends dippin tell them this if you dont have what it takes to quit nicotine you are gonna be TOO big of a pussy for chemo. Dying is easy its the living that is hard got to dig deep everyday and there would be no way in hell I could do this on my own. If it werent for the support of my wife and family, the support i get daily from the members this site and the people I have in my corner locally. I would have been consumed by this cancer shit. I have already lived through two you only have 6 months left.
Quote from: traumagnet
Well it appears that it has been awhile since I have put in an update. I had double pneumonia that landed me in the hospital for a week...then home health for a week giving me very strong antibiotics. After a week of that the nausea and pain were enough I woke up on a Monday morning and fired everyone. I called the VA and asked to be put on hospice. Hospice has been working with me to get me under control as far as pain and nausea go. I have been puking and dry heaving for days so finally last night they hooked me up to a morphine drip and a Tordol drip subQ. they have also discovered that I have chemo induced thrush from my mouth to my stomach so another obstacle to overcome.

I also carry a BRAF mutation with in the cancer war is like trying fight fires with gasoline. So I am on the hospice pony and just trying to ride whatever time I have left in relative comfort. So just trying to take it easy.

Once again just wanted to say thank you to everyone that has been on this ride with me, I also wanted to say if you text or email and I dont respond right away please dont take it personal there are days that just making it to tomorrow is the best I can do.
thanks
Trauma
Oh lord what a story. I never saw that here before. That is sad.

His story hits kind of home for me. I have been having major issues lately and can not afford to go to the dr with my insurance. But it is coming to a point now that I have no options left but to go.

Also like him, I was not a spitter. I was taught when i was a kid when I started chewing that If I was not man enough to swallow the spit, then I was not man enough to chew. Swallow it was. Spitting in front of any woman, especially my mother was never an option. I did that for a good long time. Combined time maybe 20 years. I never spit. I regret that choice now for sure.

Thanks for the share Irish. I really appreciate it. It gave me serious food for thought.

Is this brother still with us fighting the fight?
His last post on his intro was this morning. I'm not sure if he's posting roll, or where. He called in Hospice, so I doubt he will be here very long.

I also "gutted" it, but I never got above 2 cans per week, and my colonoscopy 5 years ago was clean. They told me to come back in 10 years.
Trauma is part of Junk Free July (July 13): topic/1009915/2040/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/1009915/2040/#new)
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on July 19, 2016, 08:09:00 AM
I am weak in the face of my addiction - day 146

The text conversation went something like this:
Bomber: "We stay quit.... While the weak cave...."
Me: "I think you pegged it. Strength in numbers."

I've seen some strong people on this site cave. I've seen a USMC veteran with over 1,000 days quit cave, twice.

I don't know of any addict that is strong enough to fight this addiction alone. The strongest addicts I know are an active part of KTC. We are strong enough to fight this addiction - together.

Don't let your ego make you think you can do this on your own. What do you have to gain by that?
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on August 05, 2016, 11:57:00 PM
The Promise - The Difference

This past week, one of my co-workers had been quit for about a month. He came into my office Wednesday morning. He'd heard that I'd quit before, and we'd talked about it. I told him about KTC. I sent him a link via email. Told him that, if he had any problems, to check it out.

So, he comes in, sits down, and says "You'd be proud of me today." I'm like "Okay, why?" He says "I bought a can on my way into work today." I say "And You threw it away without opening it?" He says "No, I opened it, took a pinch, then spit it out. Gave the can to Shane (another coworker) and that was it."

My first reaction was to rip off his head and shit down his neck. "You fockin caved!!! WTF??!!?"

Then I realized, this was a win for him. He never made a promise to me, or anyone, that he wouldn't use nicotine today. I also realized that he is doomed to repeat this process forever. He has no accountability. Until he makes that promise to another addict, he is free to cave.

We are focked up. I'm glad I found KTC.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on August 25, 2016, 11:11:00 AM
Quote from: wildirish317
The Promise - The Difference

This past week, one of my co-workers had been quit for about a month. He came into my office Wednesday morning. He'd heard that I'd quit before, and we'd talked about it. I told him about KTC. I sent him a link via email. Told him that, if he had any problems, to check it out.

So, he comes in, sits down, and says "You'd be proud of me today." I'm like "Okay, why?" He says "I bought a can on my way into work today." I say "And You threw it away without opening it?" He says "No, I opened it, took a pinch, then spit it out. Gave the can to Shane (another coworker) and that was it."

My first reaction was to rip off his head and shit down his neck. "You fockin caved!!! WTF??!!?"

Then I realized, this was a win for him. He never made a promise to me, or anyone, that he wouldn't use nicotine today. I also realized that he is doomed to repeat this process forever. He has no accountability. Until he makes that promise to another addict, he is free to cave.

We are focked up. I'm glad I found KTC.
Update: This person is now back to dipping at the same rate as before he stopped. Time will tell.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: JGlav on August 25, 2016, 11:35:00 AM
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: wildirish317
The Promise - The Difference

This past week, one of my co-workers had been quit for about a month. He came into my office Wednesday morning. He'd heard that I'd quit before, and we'd talked about it. I told him about KTC. I sent him a link via email. Told him that, if he had any problems, to check it out.

So, he comes in, sits down, and says "You'd be proud of me today." I'm like "Okay, why?" He says "I bought a can on my way into work today." I say "And You threw it away without opening it?" He says "No, I opened it, took a pinch, then spit it out. Gave the can to Shane (another coworker) and that was it."

My first reaction was to rip off his head and shit down his neck. "You fockin caved!!! WTF??!!?"

Then I realized, this was a win for him. He never made a promise to me, or anyone, that he wouldn't use nicotine today. I also realized that he is doomed to repeat this process forever. He has no accountability. Until he makes that promise to another addict, he is free to cave.

We are focked up. I'm glad I found KTC.
Update: This person is now back to dipping at the same rate as before he stopped. Time will tell.
Cold turkey and accountability. The only way
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: pab1964 on August 25, 2016, 01:05:00 PM
Quote from: JGlav
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: wildirish317
The Promise - The Difference

This past week, one of my co-workers had been quit for about a month. He came into my office Wednesday morning. He'd heard that I'd quit before, and we'd talked about it. I told him about KTC. I sent him a link via email. Told him that, if he had any problems, to check it out.

So, he comes in, sits down, and says "You'd be proud of me today." I'm like "Okay, why?" He says "I bought a can on my way into work today." I say "And You threw it away without opening it?" He says "No, I opened it, took a pinch, then spit it out. Gave the can to Shane (another coworker) and that was it."

My first reaction was to rip off his head and shit down his neck. "You fockin caved!!! WTF??!!?"

Then I realized, this was a win for him. He never made a promise to me, or anyone, that he wouldn't use nicotine today. I also realized that he is doomed to repeat this process forever. He has no accountability. Until he makes that promise to another addict, he is free to cave.

We are focked up. I'm glad I found KTC.
Update: This person is now back to dipping at the same rate as before he stopped. Time will tell.
Cold turkey and accountability. The only way
We all were till we found Ktc. Got in arguments with wife yesterday instead of the usual hell with this I'm going to go get a can she don't give a shit anyway. Instead it was I got all kinds of people who care and mostly I care about them! That's a huge difference. I would never be able to stay quit without this place. Give your coworker a card with Ktc and your number on it. Let him know that you care. Sometimes just knowing someone cares is all it takes. Quit on and Irish you're a badass quitter! Keep on keeping on!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on August 26, 2016, 04:31:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: JGlav
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: wildirish317
The Promise - The Difference

This past week, one of my co-workers had been quit for about a month. He came into my office Wednesday morning. He'd heard that I'd quit before, and we'd talked about it. I told him about KTC. I sent him a link via email. Told him that, if he had any problems, to check it out.

So, he comes in, sits down, and says "You'd be proud of me today." I'm like "Okay, why?" He says "I bought a can on my way into work today." I say "And You threw it away without opening it?" He says "No, I opened it, took a pinch, then spit it out. Gave the can to Shane (another coworker) and that was it."

My first reaction was to rip off his head and shit down his neck. "You fockin caved!!! WTF??!!?"

Then I realized, this was a win for him. He never made a promise to me, or anyone, that he wouldn't use nicotine today. I also realized that he is doomed to repeat this process forever. He has no accountability. Until he makes that promise to another addict, he is free to cave.

We are focked up. I'm glad I found KTC.
Update: This person is now back to dipping at the same rate as before he stopped. Time will tell.
Cold turkey and accountability. The only way
We all were till we found Ktc. Got in arguments with wife yesterday instead of the usual hell with this I'm going to go get a can she don't give a shit anyway. Instead it was I got all kinds of people who care and mostly I care about them! That's a huge difference. I would never be able to stay quit without this place. Give your coworker a card with Ktc and your number on it. Let him know that you care. Sometimes just knowing someone cares is all it takes. Quit on and Irish you're a badass quitter! Keep on keeping on!
Thanks guys. He's got my number, and I've sent him a link to KTC. I think he's checked us out. I'm just waiting for him to make the next move. He has to do this. I can't quit for him.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: FLLipOut on September 11, 2016, 08:53:00 AM
Congratulations on making it to the 2nd floor, Irish!!!!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: FISHFLORIDA on September 11, 2016, 11:23:00 AM
Quote from: FLLipOut
Congratulations on making it to the 2nd floor, Irish!!!!
Don't listen to FLLIPOUT!, she's just kissin' ass to the conductors!!!
Congratulations to a BAQ and a hell of a supporter.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: ChickDip on September 11, 2016, 07:13:00 PM
Quote from: FISHFLORIDA
Quote from: FLLipOut
Congratulations on making it to the 2nd floor, Irish!!!!
Don't listen to FLLIPOUT!, she's just kissin' ass to the conductors!!!
Congratulations to a BAQ and a hell of a supporter.
Irish, congrats on the 2nd floor!
Thanks for all you do here.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: pab1964 on September 11, 2016, 10:01:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FISHFLORIDA
Quote from: FLLipOut
Congratulations on making it to the 2nd floor, Irish!!!!
Don't listen to FLLIPOUT!, she's just kissin' ass to the conductors!!!
Congratulations to a BAQ and a hell of a supporter.
Irish, congrats on the 2nd floor!
Thanks for all you do here.
Congratulations Irish! Second floor badas!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Max_Power on September 12, 2016, 06:27:00 AM
Quote from: wildirish317
Hi all. I'll be 56 years old in less than a month. I've been chewing tobacco products since I was 18. When in college, I learned not to spit so I could chew while in class. I've switched back and forth between loose leaf and the can throughout the years, depending on the cost of the product. At last count, I was going through 2 cans per week. That may not sound like a lot, but remember, I wasn't wasting any nicotine.

So, why do I want to quit at this stage of life? That's a good question, and it boils down to health in general and blood pressure in particular.

A year and a half ago, my wife, worried about muscular atrophy in people 50+ years old, got us involved in a strength training routine. I noticed myself getting slimmer and trimmer and stronger at the same time. Now, I'm about as healthy as I can be except for my blood pressure, which is not quite high enough to take medication. I don't take medication, except for the occasional infection, and I don't want to spend my final days taking pills every day.

Doing a little research, I found three things I consume that will raise a person's blood pressure: nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol. I'm addicted to all three. I'm not an alcoholic, but I drink more than I should on a daily basis.

I decided to take these addictions on one at a time. Nicotine is first. The mother of all addictive substances. I decided to give it up for Lent, figuring if I can make it 40 days, then I'm home free. I made it through Ash Wednesday and the following Thursday and Friday. I went through all of the shite we go through in the first three days and was really, extremely, irritable. I caved on Saturday, telling myself that I can wean myself off this stuff. I've been weaning myself since then, and it's not working.

So here I am. I quit today. I can make it through today. Tomorrow's another day, and I'll have to quit again. I know I can't do this alone. I need help. That's why I'm here.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on September 12, 2016, 12:36:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FISHFLORIDA
Quote from: FLLipOut
Congratulations on making it to the 2nd floor, Irish!!!!
Don't listen to FLLIPOUT!, she's just kissin' ass to the conductors!!!
Congratulations to a BAQ and a hell of a supporter.
Irish, congrats on the 2nd floor!
Thanks for all you do here.
Congratulations Irish! Second floor badas!
Thank you all. I cannot do this without you.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on September 12, 2016, 12:38:00 PM
A View From the 2nd Floor - day 201

I am now entering the adolescence of my quit. I am changed. I am quit. I am now getting to know the quit me. IÂ’ve gone through the worst of the withdrawal, and my PAWs symptoms have tapered from once per week to about once per month. They always begin with a feeling of depression, of feeling sorry for myself. When the feeling comes, I now know itÂ’s not me. ItÂ’s a part of me, but itÂ’s not me. I am quit.

Who is this quit me? I have a lot more patience than the user me. I have more perspective on what is important, and what is not. I still get anxious, but I take it head on. I donÂ’t run from my anxieties. IÂ’m more open with sharing my feelings. I care more about others. I stop what IÂ’m doing and listen when people talk. I am quit.

Mrs. Irish is dealing with the quit me. She had never met the quit me until about 200 days ago. Then the quit me stormed raging into our lives, and I donÂ’t think either one of us wanted to spend any time with him. As time went on my brain accepted my quitness, and things got better. I thiink Mrs. Irish now likes the quit me better than the user me. SheÂ’d better; IÂ’m here to stay. I am quit.

Back in the days before KTC, I longed for the time before I ever used nicotine. If only I could trick my brain into thinking I never used the stuff, I could stop using it. Only after coming here and realizing that IÂ’m an addict did I understand that we only have two choices: using or quit. I am quit.

You have to want your quit, as much as you want anything else in life. As soon as you lose (or lessen) the desire to be quit, you are susceptible to caving. ThatÂ’s not me. I am quit.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Rawls on September 13, 2016, 10:55:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
A View From the 2nd Floor - day 201

I am now entering the adolescence of my quit. I am changed. I am quit. I am now getting to know the quit me. IÂ’ve gone through the worst of the withdrawal, and my PAWs symptoms have tapered from once per week to about once per month. They always begin with a feeling of depression, of feeling sorry for myself. When the feeling comes, I now know itÂ’s not me. ItÂ’s a part of me, but itÂ’s not me. I am quit.

Who is this quit me? I have a lot more patience than the user me. I have more perspective on what is important, and what is not. I still get anxious, but I take it head on. I donÂ’t run from my anxieties. IÂ’m more open with sharing my feelings. I care more about others. I stop what IÂ’m doing and listen when people talk. I am quit.

Mrs. Irish is dealing with the quit me. She had never met the quit me until about 200 days ago. Then the quit me stormed raging into our lives, and I donÂ’t think either one of us wanted to spend any time with him. As time went on my brain accepted my quitness, and things got better. I thiink Mrs. Irish now likes the quit me better than the user me. SheÂ’d better; IÂ’m here to stay. I am quit.

Back in the days before KTC, I longed for the time before I ever used nicotine. If only I could trick my brain into thinking I never used the stuff, I could stop using it. Only after coming here and realizing that IÂ’m an addict did I understand that we only have two choices: using or quit. I am quit.

You have to want your quit, as much as you want anything else in life. As soon as you lose (or lessen) the desire to be quit, you are susceptible to caving. ThatÂ’s not me. I am quit.
I am also Quit with you Irish... Well said sir.
Rawls 667
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on October 09, 2016, 09:01:00 PM
Lessons from TEC

Day 228, I donÂ’t seem to have as much to say about my quit these days. IÂ’m not sure if IÂ’m learning things at a slower pace, or if it just takes me longer to realize IÂ’ve been educated.

TEC caved last night. Here are the lessons IÂ’ve taken from my shared path with him:

ItÂ’s not my fault.
You need a good reason to quit.
PAWs is a real bitch.
You need to immerse yourself in the KTC community.

The text came at 7:52 PM last night. I had just sat down at a restaurant with Mrs. Irish and two of our daughters. “Hi John, after 7 months, I am going to buy a tin.” “This is going to be a long night,” I thought, “and I’m not sure I’m up for this.” The text discussion continued until 9:42 PM, mostly with TEC explaining why his life had gone in the shitter, and me explaining that nicotine was not the answer to his problems, that I’ve never heard of a doctor prescribing it to solve any health related issue.

I let the text conversation die without asking TEC to promise me he wouldnÂ’t buy a tin. I didnÂ’t realize this until this morning, and by then it was too late. Should I have done that? Maybe, but then I would have to do it again today, and maybe again tomorrow. I donÂ’t have the energy to do this. I am old. He was more determined to cave than I was to keep him from doing so.

Am I responsible for TECÂ’s cave? I feel that way, but IÂ’m not. It wasnÂ’t my quit. It wasnÂ’t my cave.

During our text conversation, I asked him why he quit. Cost, was his answer, followed by a “remote belief that a lost love would return if I quit”. To me, neither reason was strong enough to quit, and TEC’s quit was doomed from the get-go. I’m impressed that he made it 7 months. I quit because I was just tired of dipping and wanted to improve my health. I don’t know how strong that reason is to some people, but I told TEC last night “I’ve left that cage, and have no desire to go back.”

IÂ’m no psychiatrist, but this is my take on what happened with TEC: He has some deep psychological issues involving rage. When he quit, he went through the same quit rage we all do, and he thought it was normal. Then the rest of us stopped raging, but he did not. HeÂ’s a shy guy, so he didnÂ’t rage on the forums much, but he did send me a few raging texts and PMs, and got into it with Frazz on the forums one night.

I think he was suffering from PAWs, and anger was the principal emotion for him with PAWs. He didnÂ’t realize that it was PAWs, and didnÂ’t associate it with withdrawal from nicotine. Rather, he took the logical perspective that his engineer mind presented: he didnÂ’t rage much before he quit, he continually and uncontrollably raged after he quit. Therefore, he is better off using than quit. In seven months, heÂ’d lost his job, and a lot of other things that were important to him. He blamed this on his quit. Using will kill him, but quitting turns his life upside down. The chains of the nic bitch are brutal.

Finally, I want to reflect on the fact that I was (to my knowledge) the only contact (through digits) that TEC had at KTC. To make this quit work, and totally use the resources available at KTC, you need to become a part of the community by setting up at texting relationship with several people on the site. One is not enough, because what if that one person doesnÂ’t respond to your text when you need a response? This is a community. You are not going to click with everyone here, but you will find a few that you feel you share more than a common quit. Reach out to these people. Get them in your group. They need you, and you need them.

Tomorrow dawns a new day, and I am still quit.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: worktowin on October 09, 2016, 10:37:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
Lessons from TEC

Day 228, I donÂ’t seem to have as much to say about my quit these days. IÂ’m not sure if IÂ’m learning things at a slower pace, or if it just takes me longer to realize IÂ’ve been educated.

TEC caved last night. Here are the lessons IÂ’ve taken from my shared path with him:

ItÂ’s not my fault.
You need a good reason to quit.
PAWs is a real bitch.
You need to immerse yourself in the KTC community.

The text came at 7:52 PM last night. I had just sat down at a restaurant with Mrs. Irish and two of our daughters. “Hi John, after 7 months, I am going to buy a tin.” “This is going to be a long night,” I thought, “and I’m not sure I’m up for this.” The text discussion continued until 9:42 PM, mostly with TEC explaining why his life had gone in the shitter, and me explaining that nicotine was not the answer to his problems, that I’ve never heard of a doctor prescribing it to solve any health related issue.

I let the text conversation die without asking TEC to promise me he wouldnÂ’t buy a tin. I didnÂ’t realize this until this morning, and by then it was too late. Should I have done that? Maybe, but then I would have to do it again today, and maybe again tomorrow. I donÂ’t have the energy to do this. I am old. He was more determined to cave than I was to keep him from doing so.

Am I responsible for TECÂ’s cave? I feel that way, but IÂ’m not. It wasnÂ’t my quit. It wasnÂ’t my cave.

During our text conversation, I asked him why he quit. Cost, was his answer, followed by a “remote belief that a lost love would return if I quit”. To me, neither reason was strong enough to quit, and TEC’s quit was doomed from the get-go. I’m impressed that he made it 7 months. I quit because I was just tired of dipping and wanted to improve my health. I don’t know how strong that reason is to some people, but I told TEC last night “I’ve left that cage, and have no desire to go back.”

IÂ’m no psychiatrist, but this is my take on what happened with TEC: He has some deep psychological issues involving rage. When he quit, he went through the same quit rage we all do, and he thought it was normal. Then the rest of us stopped raging, but he did not. HeÂ’s a shy guy, so he didnÂ’t rage on the forums much, but he did send me a few raging texts and PMs, and got into it with Frazz on the forums one night.

I think he was suffering from PAWs, and anger was the principal emotion for him with PAWs. He didnÂ’t realize that it was PAWs, and didnÂ’t associate it with withdrawal from nicotine. Rather, he took the logical perspective that his engineer mind presented: he didnÂ’t rage much before he quit, he continually and uncontrollably raged after he quit. Therefore, he is better off using than quit. In seven months, heÂ’d lost his job, and a lot of other things that were important to him. He blamed this on his quit. Using will kill him, but quitting turns his life upside down. The chains of the nic bitch are brutal.

Finally, I want to reflect on the fact that I was (to my knowledge) the only contact (through digits) that TEC had at KTC. To make this quit work, and totally use the resources available at KTC, you need to become a part of the community by setting up at texting relationship with several people on the site. One is not enough, because what if that one person doesnÂ’t respond to your text when you need a response? This is a community. You are not going to click with everyone here, but you will find a few that you feel you share more than a common quit. Reach out to these people. Get them in your group. They need you, and you need them.

Tomorrow dawns a new day, and I am still quit.
Some people don't want to be free.

Some people aren't leaders, or team players.

Not everyone can be a winner.

Sad, but true. Fuck losing. Winning is so much better.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Tjschu on October 10, 2016, 05:44:00 AM
Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: wildirish317
Lessons from TEC

Day 228, I donÂ’t seem to have as much to say about my quit these days. IÂ’m not sure if IÂ’m learning things at a slower pace, or if it just takes me longer to realize IÂ’ve been educated.

TEC caved last night. Here are the lessons IÂ’ve taken from my shared path with him:

ItÂ’s not my fault.
You need a good reason to quit.
PAWs is a real bitch.
You need to immerse yourself in the KTC community.

The text came at 7:52 PM last night. I had just sat down at a restaurant with Mrs. Irish and two of our daughters. “Hi John, after 7 months, I am going to buy a tin.” “This is going to be a long night,” I thought, “and I’m not sure I’m up for this.” The text discussion continued until 9:42 PM, mostly with TEC explaining why his life had gone in the shitter, and me explaining that nicotine was not the answer to his problems, that I’ve never heard of a doctor prescribing it to solve any health related issue.

I let the text conversation die without asking TEC to promise me he wouldnÂ’t buy a tin. I didnÂ’t realize this until this morning, and by then it was too late. Should I have done that? Maybe, but then I would have to do it again today, and maybe again tomorrow. I donÂ’t have the energy to do this. I am old. He was more determined to cave than I was to keep him from doing so.

Am I responsible for TECÂ’s cave? I feel that way, but IÂ’m not. It wasnÂ’t my quit. It wasnÂ’t my cave.

During our text conversation, I asked him why he quit. Cost, was his answer, followed by a “remote belief that a lost love would return if I quit”. To me, neither reason was strong enough to quit, and TEC’s quit was doomed from the get-go. I’m impressed that he made it 7 months. I quit because I was just tired of dipping and wanted to improve my health. I don’t know how strong that reason is to some people, but I told TEC last night “I’ve left that cage, and have no desire to go back.”

IÂ’m no psychiatrist, but this is my take on what happened with TEC: He has some deep psychological issues involving rage. When he quit, he went through the same quit rage we all do, and he thought it was normal. Then the rest of us stopped raging, but he did not. HeÂ’s a shy guy, so he didnÂ’t rage on the forums much, but he did send me a few raging texts and PMs, and got into it with Frazz on the forums one night.

I think he was suffering from PAWs, and anger was the principal emotion for him with PAWs. He didnÂ’t realize that it was PAWs, and didnÂ’t associate it with withdrawal from nicotine. Rather, he took the logical perspective that his engineer mind presented: he didnÂ’t rage much before he quit, he continually and uncontrollably raged after he quit. Therefore, he is better off using than quit. In seven months, heÂ’d lost his job, and a lot of other things that were important to him. He blamed this on his quit. Using will kill him, but quitting turns his life upside down. The chains of the nic bitch are brutal.

Finally, I want to reflect on the fact that I was (to my knowledge) the only contact (through digits) that TEC had at KTC. To make this quit work, and totally use the resources available at KTC, you need to become a part of the community by setting up at texting relationship with several people on the site. One is not enough, because what if that one person doesnÂ’t respond to your text when you need a response? This is a community. You are not going to click with everyone here, but you will find a few that you feel you share more than a common quit. Reach out to these people. Get them in your group. They need you, and you need them.

Tomorrow dawns a new day, and I am still quit.
Some people don't want to be free.

Some people aren't leaders, or team players.

Not everyone can be a winner.

Sad, but true. Fuck losing. Winning is so much better.
Definitely not your fault. I had a similar experience early in my quit. I too felt guilty for "letting" the cave happen. Like they say you can't quit for them you can only quit with them. You have helped so many people here and for that you should be proud! Don't let this experience bring you down.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: ChristopherJ on October 10, 2016, 07:14:00 AM
I agree with W2W and tjschu. You have been a stalwart contributor here at KTC and should not put TEC's cave on your shoulders. I seriously doubt there were any words you could have texted him to stop the cave that was already decided. I feel badly for him and the challenges in his life - especially now that back in nicotine's grasp. Proud to be quit with you Irish.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Backwoods901 on October 10, 2016, 09:33:00 AM
Quote from: ChristopherJ
I agree with W2W and tjschu. You have been a stalwart contributor here at KTC and should not put TEC's cave on your shoulders. I seriously doubt there were any words you could have texted him to stop the cave that was already decided. I feel badly for him and the challenges in his life - especially now that back in nicotine's grasp. Proud to be quit with you Irish.
just to reiterate on what the above said, No where is it your fault I dealt with this with a few so far that you put effort into then they still cave and fade away. You did all you could do and you did a hell of a job and for that it means alot to your dedication here and to other quitters.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on October 14, 2016, 09:05:00 AM
A Hidden Gem of My Quit Day 233.

I play tennis. IÂ’ve been playing tennis in leagues (not USTA) regularly since 1987. IÂ’m competitive, but not very good. I play at a 3.0 - 3.5 level, for those of you who play the game.

IÂ’ve always thrown temper tantrums during my matches. IÂ’d throw my racquet or hit it on the ground, scream at myself, and swear. I blamed this on my perfectionism. I always strive for perfection, but lack the skills to achieve it. Now I realize it was the nicotine.

I currently play in a spring league and a fall league at a local park. For the past two years, IÂ’ve been focusing on maintaining my temper, keeping it under control. IÂ’ve had some success, but itÂ’s a constant battle during the match. Some days, I play poorly, and I really get angry about it.

I quit nicotine on February 25th of this year. My spring league ran from 4/14 - 6/16, and I won only two of my ten matches. My temper this spring was probably worse than before. I blamed the nic rage.

My fall league began on 9/8. I am currently 4-2 and havenÂ’t gotten mad at all during those six matches. IÂ’m not even trying to control my temper, I just donÂ’t have one. I play one point at a time. I donÂ’t have to win every point, I just try to win this one. IÂ’ve hit some really bad shots, and I just laugh them off. I find myself complimenting my opponents every time they hit a good shot. Some shots are just too good for me to get to and hit back. I get that now. I didnÂ’t before.

I was explaining this to Mrs. Irish and she noted that I have been much less temperamental in all facets of life lately. This is a hidden gem of my quit. I was not expecting this.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on October 24, 2016, 10:18:00 AM
Dip Dream #2 - Day 242

I convinced myself to try to test the Law of Addiction and have one pinch between my cheek and gum. I bought a log of Skoal. First, I rarely used Skoal during my 38 years of tobacco use. Second, I have never bought a log in my life. The dream ended with me looking at the top can of the log, just studying it.

I have to constantly guard against testing the Law of Addiction. I've never been quit this long. I take it on faith, this Law of Addiction, that one dip will lead me to using again; just as putting a gun to my head and pulling the trigger will lead to my death. I don't need to test these things.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: brettlees on October 24, 2016, 04:14:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
Dip Dream #2 - Day 242

I convinced myself to try to test the Law of Addiction and have one pinch between my cheek and gum. I bought a log of Skoal. First, I rarely used Skoal during my 38 years of tobacco use. Second, I have never bought a log in my life. The dream ended with me looking at the top can of the log, just studying it.

I have to constantly guard against testing the Law of Addiction. I've never been quit this long. I take it on faith, this Law of Addiction, that one dip will lead me to using again; just as putting a gun to my head and pulling the trigger will lead to my death. I don't need to test these things.
Dont forget- each time you win after a temptation, you log a victory. That's one more little sneaky neural pathway that the addiction tried in your brain, and it failed. That equals a victory for the quit you. Nice. Damn. Job! keep building that quit, keep winning!

Like you, the reflections and deep learning seem to come slower now, less frequent. That has to be normal. Kind of like sports rookies have to play enough before the game "slows down" for them.

Quit hard, day by day, still!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: pab1964 on October 24, 2016, 07:01:00 PM
Quote from: brettlees
Quote from: wildirish317
Dip Dream #2 - Day 242

I convinced myself to try to test the Law of Addiction and have one pinch between my cheek and gum. I bought a log of Skoal. First, I rarely used Skoal during my 38 years of tobacco use. Second, I have never bought a log in my life. The dream ended with me looking at the top can of the log, just studying it.

I have to constantly guard against testing the Law of Addiction. I've never been quit this long. I take it on faith, this Law of Addiction, that one dip will lead me to using again; just as putting a gun to my head and pulling the trigger will lead to my death. I don't need to test these things.
Dont forget- each time you win after a temptation, you log a victory. That's one more little sneaky neural pathway that the addiction tried in your brain, and it failed. That equals a victory for the quit you. Nice. Damn. Job! keep building that quit, keep winning!

Like you, the reflections and deep learning seem to come slower now, less frequent. That has to be normal. Kind of like sports rookies have to play enough before the game "slows down" for them.

Quit hard, day by day, still!
Not worried about you, you're a wise ole coot and your not starting this shit again. Just keep doing what your doing! It obviously works. Thanks for your quit knowledge, people do pay attention! Damn proud to be quit with you!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on October 24, 2016, 09:38:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: brettlees
Quote from: wildirish317
Dip Dream #2 - Day 242

I convinced myself to try to test the Law of Addiction and have one pinch between my cheek and gum. I bought a log of Skoal. First, I rarely used Skoal during my 38 years of tobacco use. Second, I have never bought a log in my life. The dream ended with me looking at the top can of the log, just studying it.

I have to constantly guard against testing the Law of Addiction. I've never been quit this long. I take it on faith, this Law of Addiction, that one dip will lead me to using again; just as putting a gun to my head and pulling the trigger will lead to my death. I don't need to test these things.
Dont forget- each time you win after a temptation, you log a victory. That's one more little sneaky neural pathway that the addiction tried in your brain, and it failed. That equals a victory for the quit you. Nice. Damn. Job! keep building that quit, keep winning!

Like you, the reflections and deep learning seem to come slower now, less frequent. That has to be normal. Kind of like sports rookies have to play enough before the game "slows down" for them.

Quit hard, day by day, still!
Not worried about you, you're a wise ole coot and your not starting this shit again. Just keep doing what your doing! It obviously works. Thanks for your quit knowledge, people do pay attention! Damn proud to be quit with you!
Thanks guys. It's helps to have encouragement from the "old timers" of quit.

I just post in here when the urge strikes me. I post (all these intro posts) in June 2016 as well, bc my quit group doesn't always check out my intro. Those guys have carried me this far, so I should let them know it.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on November 05, 2016, 07:46:00 PM
The Continuing Fight With PAWs day 255

This was a brutal episode (didn't lead to a brutal cave though, haha). It came on Friday afternoon, snuck up on me. I work with Autodesk products, and if you know anything about them, you know that they can raise your level of irritability in record time. So, I'm building a 3d model of a piping system, and I can't get the damned program to put a valve in a pipe. It keeps putting it on the floor, directly below the pipe, which is 20 feet in the air. I'm screaming obscenities at my computer. It's 4:00 on Friday afternoon. My week, essentially, is over.

This particular Friday, Mrs. Irish and I are watching our grandson, Phin overnight. Phin is two days younger than my quit. He's just started crawling, and a boatload of fun. I know I'm irritable, so I make sure to watch myself around Phin. For the most part, Phin is enjoyable, but he's a baby, and babies have crying spells. I take them in stride, and don't let them bother me. This is pretty easy to do with Phin, because he's so fun when he's not crying, and he doesn't cry much.

The problem is, when you suppress your anger in one area, it pops up in another. Last night, it happened to be the KTC GroupMe's that I belong to. I started to take my anger out on them, but left the groups instead. I can't leave them all. I created the June 2016 GroupMe. The only way I can leave that group is to end it. Talk about digging a deep quit hole, this is about half of the depth of mine. The GroupMe for my quit month sits squarely on my shoulders. That's another way you guys support me and my quit. As long as you're in the GroupMe, I have to be there.

So today, I had a lot of plans. I started my day by taking my car to the dealership to get the air bag replaced. My car had one of the dreaded Takata air bags that sends shrapnel into the occupant should it deploy. I feel safer now. After that, we ate lunch and took Phin back to his parents, then off to the furniture store to pick up a bed frame that Mrs. Irish ordered. The bed frame included a head board, which didn't fit into the back of our Honda CRV. So we drive a couple of blocks to the UHaul and get a cargo van to get the thing home. My temper, for the most part, has been pretty mild through this.

We get home and I start putting the bed frame together while Mrs. Irish runs to the store to get some groceries. She gets home an hour later, and I'm still putting the bed frame together, and starting to get irritable. It's time to walk the dogs, and I still want to go to Cabela's because I have an employee discount coupon, and I want to put a new speaker cover in my car, along with a new cowl cover (that plastic piece that sits at the base of the windshield and channels rain water safely to the sides of the car). I can see that these things are not going to get done tonight, maybe not even this weekend. It's time to walk the dogs.

During the dog walk, Derby, who I'm walking, reaches down and snatches a napkin or Kleenex or something. I yell at him to drop it, and then smack him on the snout and scream at him. Finally, I pry his mouth open and scrape the paper out of his mouth. Mrs. Irish asks me wtf is wrong with me. Did something happen that's put me in this mood? Then it occurs to me, PAWs.

I look it up. It's in my signature for a reason.

"As you continue to recover the good stretches will get longer and longer. But the bad periods of post-acute withdrawal can be just as intense and last just as long."

"There is no obvious trigger for most episodes. You will wake up one day feeling irritable and have low energy."

"You'll also have lots of bad days. On those days, don't try to do too much."

I'm trying to do too much. Cabela's can wait. My car can wait. I'm just going to relax.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Bokie on November 05, 2016, 10:49:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
The Continuing Fight With PAWs day 255

This was a brutal episode (didn't lead to a brutal cave though, haha). It came on Friday afternoon, snuck up on me. I work with Autodesk products, and if you know anything about them, you know that they can raise your level of irritability in record time. So, I'm building a 3d model of a piping system, and I can't get the damned program to put a valve in a pipe. It keeps putting it on the floor, directly below the pipe, which is 20 feet in the air. I'm screaming obscenities at my computer. It's 4:00 on Friday afternoon. My week, essentially, is over.

This particular Friday, Mrs. Irish and I are watching our grandson, Phin overnight. Phin is two days younger than my quit. He's just started crawling, and a boatload of fun. I know I'm irritable, so I make sure to watch myself around Phin. For the most part, Phin is enjoyable, but he's a baby, and babies have crying spells. I take them in stride, and don't let them bother me. This is pretty easy to do with Phin, because he's so fun when he's not crying, and he doesn't cry much.

The problem is, when you suppress your anger in one area, it pops up in another. Last night, it happened to be the KTC GroupMe's that I belong to. I started to take my anger out on them, but left the groups instead. I can't leave them all. I created the June 2016 GroupMe. The only way I can leave that group is to end it. Talk about digging a deep quit hole, this is about half of the depth of mine. The GroupMe for my quit month sits squarely on my shoulders. That's another way you guys support me and my quit. As long as you're in the GroupMe, I have to be there.

So today, I had a lot of plans. I started my day by taking my car to the dealership to get the air bag replaced. My car had one of the dreaded Takata air bags that sends shrapnel into the occupant should it deploy. I feel safer now. After that, we ate lunch and took Phin back to his parents, then off to the furniture store to pick up a bed frame that Mrs. Irish ordered. The bed frame included a head board, which didn't fit into the back of our Honda CRV. So we drive a couple of blocks to the UHaul and get a cargo van to get the thing home. My temper, for the most part, has been pretty mild through this.

We get home and I start putting the bed frame together while Mrs. Irish runs to the store to get some groceries. She gets home an hour later, and I'm still putting the bed frame together, and starting to get irritable. It's time to walk the dogs, and I still want to go to Cabela's because I have an employee discount coupon, and I want to put a new speaker cover in my car, along with a new cowl cover (that plastic piece that sits at the base of the windshield and channels rain water safely to the sides of the car). I can see that these things are not going to get done tonight, maybe not even this weekend. It's time to walk the dogs.

During the dog walk, Derby, who I'm walking, reaches down and snatches a napkin or Kleenex or something. I yell at him to drop it, and then smack him on the snout and scream at him. Finally, I pry his mouth open and scrape the paper out of his mouth. Mrs. Irish asks me wtf is wrong with me. Did something happen that's put me in this mood? Then it occurs to me, PAWs.

I look it up. It's in my signature for a reason.

"As you continue to recover the good stretches will get longer and longer. But the bad periods of post-acute withdrawal can be just as intense and last just as long."

"There is no obvious trigger for most episodes. You will wake up one day feeling irritable and have low energy."

"You'll also have lots of bad days. On those days, don't try to do too much."

I'm trying to do too much. Cabela's can wait. My car can wait. I'm just going to relax.
Irish, while I do not have the time you have, I can totally relate to your dream, your writing and PAW. Thank you for such a well written blog, and I look forward to reading your entries everyday you feel like sharing. Thank you!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on December 19, 2016, 08:54:00 PM
Dip Dream #3 - The Betrayal day 299

Really? Day 299 I have a dip dream? WTF?

It's a warm sunny day, I'm in my convertible with the top down, sitting outside a convenience store. I'd just put a pinch between my cheek and gum. WTF?

There was no lead up to this moment, no opportunity to use the tools I have at my disposal, no decision. The decision was already made. I caved. Now what? I can't hide this. I can't undo it. What's done is done. Almost 300 days wiped clean. I was chasing Suthern Gntlman's 330 days before he caved. I failed. I woke up to one of the worst feelings of my life.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: FLLipOut on December 19, 2016, 10:35:00 PM
It is awful, isn't it?!

The great news? You didn't cave. Even better? You are on the THIRD FLOOR tomorrow! That's something to be so proud of, Irish!

'party'
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: JGlav on December 20, 2016, 07:11:00 AM
COngrats on the 300. Nice work
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Jeff W on December 20, 2016, 07:44:00 AM
Irish Eyes are Smiling (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tCUZQx-2v0)


Congrats on 300!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: pab1964 on December 20, 2016, 07:52:00 AM
Quote from: JGlav
COngrats on the 300. Nice work
Congratulations on 300!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: CavMan83 on December 20, 2016, 09:55:00 AM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: JGlav
COngrats on the 300. Nice work
Congratulations on 300!
What they ^^^ said! Good job on the 3double-oh.....short hop to the first year dip-free in a long, long, LONG, LOOOONGGG time for your old self!!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on January 05, 2017, 08:12:00 PM
Thoughts on GroupMe

As soon as you join this site, you are encouraged to get "digits" of as many in your group as possible. WTF are "digits"? After a few hours, you figure out that these are phone numbers, to be used for texting; communicating with others in your group who may be craving or suffering in the early stages of withdrawal and PAWs (don't friggin ask, there is a link in my signature).

All the while, you are learning to post roll without bumping the last 5 people before you, and fix the bumps of that idiot who just can't seem to figure out how to post roll. Why, with all of these smart, tech savvy people who are nic addicts, can't we come up with a way to post roll where people don't get bumped? There has to be a way for people to be entered on roll without all of this bumping. Amazon has it figured out, why can't we?

There is a benefit to our archaic roll process, as it encourages interaction, kind of like throwing a fresh calf carcass into a tidal pool of starving piranhas.

Getting back to digits, GroupMe is the answer to "how can we improve the efficiency of the texting process"?

If you are having a craving, and want to text with someone, you have to text your way through your digit list until someone responds. With GroupMe, you can post a comment about what you are going through, and probably get an immediate response. If someone is missing roll, you can throw their name out there, and someone with their digits will pick it up and send the missing person a text. You can also get to know the other members of your month on a personal basis that you may not want to share on an internet forum.

In order for GroupMe to work, it has to have people outside the QuitMonth as members. Post a link in your Roll Header that allows people to join at will. That's what we did in June 2016. For our group, we mainly discuss sex with gerbils and JoeC's death defying encounters with law enforcement agencies and the occasional HS classmate.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: walterwhite on February 03, 2017, 04:11:00 PM
Thanks for taking the time to write out all the useful information. It is such a great read.

I'm proud to quit with you today...
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: FLLipOut on February 24, 2017, 10:45:00 AM
I can't believe I forgot about your ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!! 'bang head'

'party2'

That's a big deal - one year around the sun without poison stashed in your lip! Can you believe it? And - hey - that means only ONE MORE YEAR OF PAWS LEFT! 'bang head'

Congratulations!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on February 24, 2017, 08:41:00 PM
1st Year Anniversary - “I got this!” Day 366

IÂ’ve been interested, during most of my quit, on what makes a person cave. With all of the retreads I see posting a new Day 1 every day, it intrigues me. Also, it seems that retreads have a much more difficult time than first time quitters. We have people like Siren, who has had three or four tries at quitting, but never takes his quit seriously. Then we have people like Swanson Approves, who made it well past HOF, left KTC, then came back to post another Day 1, only to fade away before HOF this time.

Why does a person cave? Why is it that retreads rarely match the number of days quit as their original attempt?

I’ve been asking the wrong question. The answers to the above questions is “It doesn’t matter. Failure has all the excuses in the world.”

I should be asking “What makes a retread a successful quitter?” The answer to this question answers the question “What makes a successful quitter?” I’m going to attempt to answer this based on my knowledge of two quitters: Danojeno and suthern_gntlman. I’m sure both will be along to correct my inaccuracies.

Suthern_gntlman posted his first day one on April 29, 2015 with “Quitting for the upteenth time! This time is the last time!” But, it wasn’t.

On March 23, 2016, suthern_gntlman posted 330. The next day, he posted Day 1. Suthern_gntlman was a pretty consistent roll poster, not 100%, but he didn’t miss many days. He didn’t leave the site and then cave. Today, he posted 338. He’s surpassed his previous “attempt”. Why do I think he is now quit? Let’s see what’s different about our now quit brother:

Here is one of his responses (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9685346&t=11112756) to the three questions: “I've had problems with this site from day one. The vulgarity is a huge issue with me, not to mention having to make a promise. Because of this I don't think I was ever 100% all in. Posting roll every day, was a competition. I wasn't really posting roll to stay quit; I was posting roll because it was the thing to do.”

You can tell by this that he examined the past 330 days of his quit, and determined why he wasnÂ’t quit yet, even though he thought he was. LetÂ’s look at part of his response to the third question:
Is he doing the things he said he would do? From what I see, yes he is. One thing I want to point out is that you have to be yourself at KTC. You wonÂ’t like it here very long if you try to be someone youÂ’re not.

Danojeno was one of the first people on KTC to really reach out to me. This was before I even knew what a retread is. HeÂ’d been quit for a year when we first exchanged texts. IÂ’d been quit for four days. He was rock steady, and helped me get through moving my daughter and son-in-law to their new house (via text) . I had strong cravings that day.

On August 29, 2014, Danojeno posted day 62. He quit on his own, fought the battle for two months, looked for help, and found it here. He seemed to be an active member of the October 2014 group, averaging 3.2 post per day. He made it to day 246 before a “planned cave” in Las Vegas on March 1, 2015. He immediately posted Day 1 on March 2nd.

His answers to the three questions were not as introspective as suthrn_gntlmanÂ’s.

“My failure was directly linked to being complacent and not reaching out. That's what this place is all about. It's not JUST about posting roll. It is about being involved in your group. I pledge to be much more involved in actively making contact with other quitters in this group and others I so fucked-uppedly turned my back on in my hours of darkness. Let this be a loud fucking warning. I have been here before and trust me, it is so much worse a 2nd time around, I can't even explain the misery. That said, though I'm an addict, I AM stronger than these chemicals and will prove myself worthy every single day.”

However, there is a tone of repentance and determination to change in this post. Is he doing the things he said he would do? He went from 3.2 posts per day prior to his cave to 24.2 posts per day since then. I would say yes.

So, what does a person have to do to stay quit? Post roll every day? Post 3 or 4 times a day? Spend a lot of time in chat? I will offer that these are indicators of a strong quit, but in and of themselves, just doing them for the sake of doing them does not make a strong quit. A strong quit takes determination. You have to make your quit as important as anything else in your life. If you really want to stay quit, make it as important as life itself.

You wouldnÂ’t stand on the tracks in front of an oncoming train. You need to develop that same thought towards using nicotine. When your quit is as important as eating, you donÂ’t even think about posting roll when you get up in the morning; you just do it. You browse through the new quit groups every day or every few days, just to see whatÂ’s going on. You become interested in othersÂ’ quit because quitting is important to you. ItÂ’s like reading Sports Illustrated, HGTV, or some other enthusiast magazine.

Another thing that makes a strong quit is becoming a part of this family we call KTC. Like all families, there are members we canÂ’t stand, members that drive us crazy, members that we pity, members that we envy, and members that we want to be with every day. Our common family bond is our addiction, which is stronger than some blood families have. We have a place that we can always call home. Good, bad, and ugly, I feel at home here.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: pky1520 on February 25, 2017, 06:47:00 AM
Excellent post Irish! You are one hell of a quitter and I know that this has often times been a real struggle for you. Keep it up and congratulations on hitting one year!

'wave'
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Tjschu on February 25, 2017, 12:27:00 PM
Quote from: FLLipOut
I can't believe I forgot about your ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!! 'bang head'

'party2'

That's a big deal - one year around the sun without poison stashed in your lip! Can you believe it? And - hey - that means only ONE MORE YEAR OF PAWS LEFT! 'bang head'

Congratulations!


Congrats on one trip around the sun as a quitter! Thank you for all you do around here!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: pab1964 on February 25, 2017, 07:42:00 PM
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: FLLipOut
I can't believe I forgot about your ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!! 'bang head'

'party2'

That's a big deal - one year around the sun without poison stashed in your lip! Can you believe it? And - hey - that means only ONE MORE YEAR OF PAWS LEFT! 'bang head'

Congratulations!


Congrats on one trip around the sun as a quitter! Thank you for all you do around here!
Congratulations on the year quit professor!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Richard C on February 25, 2017, 08:01:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
1st Year Anniversary - “I got this!” Day 366

IÂ’ve been interested, during most of my quit, on what makes a person cave. With all of the retreads I see posting a new Day 1 every day, it intrigues me. Also, it seems that retreads have a much more difficult time than first time quitters. We have people like Siren, who has had three or four tries at quitting, but never takes his quit seriously. Then we have people like Swanson Approves, who made it well past HOF, left KTC, then came back to post another Day 1, only to fade away before HOF this time.

Why does a person cave? Why is it that retreads rarely match the number of days quit as their original attempt?

I’ve been asking the wrong question. The answers to the above questions is “It doesn’t matter. Failure has all the excuses in the world.”

I should be asking “What makes a retread a successful quitter?” The answer to this question answers the question “What makes a successful quitter?” I’m going to attempt to answer this based on my knowledge of two quitters: Danojeno and suthern_gntlman. I’m sure both will be along to correct my inaccuracies.

Suthern_gntlman posted his first day one on April 29, 2015 with “Quitting for the upteenth time! This time is the last time!” But, it wasn’t.

On March 23, 2016, suthern_gntlman posted 330. The next day, he posted Day 1. Suthern_gntlman was a pretty consistent roll poster, not 100%, but he didn’t miss many days. He didn’t leave the site and then cave. Today, he posted 338. He’s surpassed his previous “attempt”. Why do I think he is now quit? Let’s see what’s different about our now quit brother:

Here is one of his responses (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9685346&t=11112756) to the three questions: “I've had problems with this site from day one. The vulgarity is a huge issue with me, not to mention having to make a promise. Because of this I don't think I was ever 100% all in. Posting roll every day, was a competition. I wasn't really posting roll to stay quit; I was posting roll because it was the thing to do.”

You can tell by this that he examined the past 330 days of his quit, and determined why he wasnÂ’t quit yet, even though he thought he was. LetÂ’s look at part of his response to the third question:
  • Certainly this site/forum is a tool that I can use. My own personal question is how can I use this tool to better myself?
  • Posting roll has to be about more than just making sure I don't miss a day. I don't mean making promises I can't keep either, for I still have issues with that.
  • I'm talking about being more involved. I'm going to warn you though. If I get more involved, I'm going to be a pain the side for a lot of you guys/gals. The vulgarity really needs to stop
  • I will not be just posting in my group, but in other groups. My posts will not just be good job and way to go. I will be posting bible scripture and encouraging thoughts.
  • This is who I am and for me to truly be fully involved in this, I'm going to have to stay true to who I am. If this is going to be a problem, we can part ways and I will move on down the road.
Is he doing the things he said he would do? From what I see, yes he is. One thing I want to point out is that you have to be yourself at KTC. You wonÂ’t like it here very long if you try to be someone youÂ’re not.

Danojeno was one of the first people on KTC to really reach out to me. This was before I even knew what a retread is. HeÂ’d been quit for a year when we first exchanged texts. IÂ’d been quit for four days. He was rock steady, and helped me get through moving my daughter and son-in-law to their new house (via text) . I had strong cravings that day.

On August 29, 2014, Danojeno posted day 62. He quit on his own, fought the battle for two months, looked for help, and found it here. He seemed to be an active member of the October 2014 group, averaging 3.2 post per day. He made it to day 246 before a “planned cave” in Las Vegas on March 1, 2015. He immediately posted Day 1 on March 2nd.

His answers to the three questions were not as introspective as suthrn_gntlmanÂ’s.

“My failure was directly linked to being complacent and not reaching out. That's what this place is all about. It's not JUST about posting roll. It is about being involved in your group. I pledge to be much more involved in actively making contact with other quitters in this group and others I so fucked-uppedly turned my back on in my hours of darkness. Let this be a loud fucking warning. I have been here before and trust me, it is so much worse a 2nd time around, I can't even explain the misery. That said, though I'm an addict, I AM stronger than these chemicals and will prove myself worthy every single day.”

However, there is a tone of repentance and determination to change in this post. Is he doing the things he said he would do? He went from 3.2 posts per day prior to his cave to 24.2 posts per day since then. I would say yes.

So, what does a person have to do to stay quit? Post roll every day? Post 3 or 4 times a day? Spend a lot of time in chat? I will offer that these are indicators of a strong quit, but in and of themselves, just doing them for the sake of doing them does not make a strong quit. A strong quit takes determination. You have to make your quit as important as anything else in your life. If you really want to stay quit, make it as important as life itself.

You wouldnÂ’t stand on the tracks in front of an oncoming train. You need to develop that same thought towards using nicotine. When your quit is as important as eating, you donÂ’t even think about posting roll when you get up in the morning; you just do it. You browse through the new quit groups every day or every few days, just to see whatÂ’s going on. You become interested in othersÂ’ quit because quitting is important to you. ItÂ’s like reading Sports Illustrated, HGTV, or some other enthusiast magazine.

Another thing that makes a strong quit is becoming a part of this family we call KTC. Like all families, there are members we canÂ’t stand, members that drive us crazy, members that we pity, members that we envy, and members that we want to be with every day. Our common family bond is our addiction, which is stronger than some blood families have. We have a place that we can always call home. Good, bad, and ugly, I feel at home here.
That was one of the most insightful things I've read here yet. I can see myself in there.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: ChickDip on February 26, 2017, 04:29:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: FLLipOut
I can't believe I forgot about your ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!! 'bang head'

'party2'

That's a big deal - one year around the sun without poison stashed in your lip! Can you believe it? And - hey - that means only ONE MORE YEAR OF PAWS LEFT! 'bang head'

Congratulations!


Congrats on one trip around the sun as a quitter! Thank you for all you do around here!
Congratulations on the year quit professor!
Congrats again on your 1 year quit brother!
Love your intro reads!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: RSNftw on February 27, 2017, 02:39:00 PM
Quote from: Richard
Quote from: wildirish317
1st Year Anniversary - “I got this!” Day 366

IÂ’ve been interested, during most of my quit, on what makes a person cave. With all of the retreads I see posting a new Day 1 every day, it intrigues me. Also, it seems that retreads have a much more difficult time than first time quitters. We have people like Siren, who has had three or four tries at quitting, but never takes his quit seriously. Then we have people like Swanson Approves, who made it well past HOF, left KTC, then came back to post another Day 1, only to fade away before HOF this time.

Why does a person cave? Why is it that retreads rarely match the number of days quit as their original attempt?

I’ve been asking the wrong question. The answers to the above questions is “It doesn’t matter. Failure has all the excuses in the world.”

I should be asking “What makes a retread a successful quitter?” The answer to this question answers the question “What makes a successful quitter?” I’m going to attempt to answer this based on my knowledge of two quitters: Danojeno and suthern_gntlman. I’m sure both will be along to correct my inaccuracies.

Suthern_gntlman posted his first day one on April 29, 2015 with “Quitting for the upteenth time! This time is the last time!” But, it wasn’t.

On March 23, 2016, suthern_gntlman posted 330. The next day, he posted Day 1. Suthern_gntlman was a pretty consistent roll poster, not 100%, but he didn’t miss many days. He didn’t leave the site and then cave. Today, he posted 338. He’s surpassed his previous “attempt”. Why do I think he is now quit? Let’s see what’s different about our now quit brother:

Here is one of his responses (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9685346&t=11112756) to the three questions: “I've had problems with this site from day one. The vulgarity is a huge issue with me, not to mention having to make a promise. Because of this I don't think I was ever 100% all in. Posting roll every day, was a competition. I wasn't really posting roll to stay quit; I was posting roll because it was the thing to do.”

You can tell by this that he examined the past 330 days of his quit, and determined why he wasnÂ’t quit yet, even though he thought he was. LetÂ’s look at part of his response to the third question:
  • Certainly this site/forum is a tool that I can use. My own personal question is how can I use this tool to better myself?
  • Posting roll has to be about more than just making sure I don't miss a day. I don't mean making promises I can't keep either, for I still have issues with that.
  • I'm talking about being more involved. I'm going to warn you though. If I get more involved, I'm going to be a pain the side for a lot of you guys/gals. The vulgarity really needs to stop
  • I will not be just posting in my group, but in other groups. My posts will not just be good job and way to go. I will be posting bible scripture and encouraging thoughts.
  • This is who I am and for me to truly be fully involved in this, I'm going to have to stay true to who I am. If this is going to be a problem, we can part ways and I will move on down the road.
Is he doing the things he said he would do? From what I see, yes he is. One thing I want to point out is that you have to be yourself at KTC. You wonÂ’t like it here very long if you try to be someone youÂ’re not.

Danojeno was one of the first people on KTC to really reach out to me. This was before I even knew what a retread is. HeÂ’d been quit for a year when we first exchanged texts. IÂ’d been quit for four days. He was rock steady, and helped me get through moving my daughter and son-in-law to their new house (via text) . I had strong cravings that day.

On August 29, 2014, Danojeno posted day 62. He quit on his own, fought the battle for two months, looked for help, and found it here. He seemed to be an active member of the October 2014 group, averaging 3.2 post per day. He made it to day 246 before a “planned cave” in Las Vegas on March 1, 2015. He immediately posted Day 1 on March 2nd.

His answers to the three questions were not as introspective as suthrn_gntlmanÂ’s.

“My failure was directly linked to being complacent and not reaching out. That's what this place is all about. It's not JUST about posting roll. It is about being involved in your group. I pledge to be much more involved in actively making contact with other quitters in this group and others I so fucked-uppedly turned my back on in my hours of darkness. Let this be a loud fucking warning. I have been here before and trust me, it is so much worse a 2nd time around, I can't even explain the misery. That said, though I'm an addict, I AM stronger than these chemicals and will prove myself worthy every single day.”

However, there is a tone of repentance and determination to change in this post. Is he doing the things he said he would do? He went from 3.2 posts per day prior to his cave to 24.2 posts per day since then. I would say yes.

So, what does a person have to do to stay quit? Post roll every day? Post 3 or 4 times a day? Spend a lot of time in chat? I will offer that these are indicators of a strong quit, but in and of themselves, just doing them for the sake of doing them does not make a strong quit. A strong quit takes determination. You have to make your quit as important as anything else in your life. If you really want to stay quit, make it as important as life itself.

You wouldnÂ’t stand on the tracks in front of an oncoming train. You need to develop that same thought towards using nicotine. When your quit is as important as eating, you donÂ’t even think about posting roll when you get up in the morning; you just do it. You browse through the new quit groups every day or every few days, just to see whatÂ’s going on. You become interested in othersÂ’ quit because quitting is important to you. ItÂ’s like reading Sports Illustrated, HGTV, or some other enthusiast magazine.

Another thing that makes a strong quit is becoming a part of this family we call KTC. Like all families, there are members we canÂ’t stand, members that drive us crazy, members that we pity, members that we envy, and members that we want to be with every day. Our common family bond is our addiction, which is stronger than some blood families have. We have a place that we can always call home. Good, bad, and ugly, I feel at home here.
That was one of the most insightful things I've read here yet. I can see myself in there.
You should post this in our group as this is some good stuff! Congrats on the 1 year mark as well!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: FISHFLORIDA on February 28, 2017, 10:22:00 PM
Wild,
You've been an inspiration to me and to explain or express how much you've helped me in my quit is not an easy thing to do. I've always liked how you drill down into things and analyze the "quit". It does make sense and it's a great way to come to grips with this addiction. I am always quit with you sir.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on March 10, 2017, 08:50:00 AM
Fuck It - day 380

I’m one of those people who “has to know”. I have to know how things work, and why people do what they do. I became an engineer because it’s much easier to figure out how things work than it is to figure out why people do what they do. People have free will, inanimate objects do not. Things always respond to a stimulus in the exact same predictable way. Physics is the study of why things do what they do, how they work.

With people, you cannot say that all people will react to a given situation in the exact same manner. There will be many different reactions, with a few extreme outliers, that make the rest of us think “wtf?”

What does this have to do with our addiction? I’ve got a lot of our addiction figured out. I know that nicotine clears out of our body within three days after quitting. I know that the physiological effects can last up to two years, with our brains occasionally craving that stimulus it depended on for so many years. I know that caving is a process. What I don’t know is, what leads to “fuck it”.

What leads someone down the path where they turn away from every important thing in their life? We’ve had two quitters (THansen2413 and kbdavear) who caved after being quit more than 1,000 days. Both of them said they reached the stage of “fuck it”. Stuffing nicotine in their bodies was only one of a series of self destructive acts they decided to commit on their way to….. to what? Suicide? Is this the end of the road that they are streaming toward, only to stop before actually committing that one final self destructive act? Or is it not that serious? Are they just “beating their heads against a wall” in frustration over what life has tossed in their direction? I don’t know. I”m at a loss. I sense that this path transcends mere addiction in its seriousness; it is beyond our quit.

Although I donÂ’t know why some people choose this path, I have some insight how to get back. The lyrics of a song phrase it best:

“Return to God with all your heart, the source of grace and mercy.
Come seek the tender faithfulness of God.”


God wants us to be the best possible version of ourselves. What is the best version of ourselves? It is who God created each and every one of us to be. If God created us to be the best version of ourselves, why are we not that version? God gave us free will. God wants us to want to be the best version of ourselves.

Who am I?
What am I here for?
What matters most?
What matters least?
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on March 30, 2017, 09:31:00 PM
400 promises kept - day 400

Today marks the 400th time that I've made a promise to you that I will not use nicotine today. 400 is a large number, but I got here by making 1 promise. 1 is a small number. I've done it 400 times. You can do it too.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: pky1520 on March 30, 2017, 10:50:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
400 promises kept - day 400

Today marks the 400th time that I've made a promise to you that I will not use nicotine today. 400 is a large number, but I got here by making 1 promise. 1 is a small number. I've done it 400 times. You can do it too.
Keep making it brother - congrats on 400!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: FISHFLORIDA on March 30, 2017, 11:34:00 PM
Quote from: pky1520
Quote from: wildirish317
400 promises kept - day 400

Today marks the 400th time that I've made a promise to you that I will not use nicotine today. 400 is a large number, but I got here by making 1 promise. 1 is a small number. I've done it 400 times. You can do it too.
Keep making it brother - congrats on 400!
Proud to be quit with you! As long as you are always 89 days ahead if me, we're good.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: ChickDip on March 31, 2017, 12:03:00 AM
Quote from: FISHFLORIDA
Quote from: pky1520
Quote from: wildirish317
400 promises kept - day 400

Today marks the 400th time that I've made a promise to you that I will not use nicotine today. 400 is a large number, but I got here by making 1 promise. 1 is a small number. I've done it 400 times. You can do it too.
Keep making it brother - congrats on 400!
Proud to be quit with you! As long as you are always 89 days ahead if me, we're good.
As always..Irish. Badassery. Congrats on your 400 days.
Thanks for walking these halls along side me.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: KingNothing on March 31, 2017, 12:16:00 AM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FISHFLORIDA
Quote from: pky1520
Quote from: wildirish317
400 promises kept - day 400

Today marks the 400th time that I've made a promise to you that I will not use nicotine today. 400 is a large number, but I got here by making 1 promise. 1 is a small number. I've done it 400 times. You can do it too.
Keep making it brother - congrats on 400!
Proud to be quit with you! As long as you are always 89 days ahead if me, we're good.
As always..Irish. Badassery. Congrats on your 400 days.
Thanks for walking these halls along side me.
Congrats Irish, damn proud to quit with you every day!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: ChickDip on March 31, 2017, 12:22:00 AM
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FISHFLORIDA
Quote from: pky1520
Quote from: wildirish317
400 promises kept - day 400

Today marks the 400th time that I've made a promise to you that I will not use nicotine today. 400 is a large number, but I got here by making 1 promise. 1 is a small number. I've done it 400 times. You can do it too.
Keep making it brother - congrats on 400!
Proud to be quit with you! As long as you are always 89 days ahead if me, we're good.
As always..Irish. Badassery. Congrats on your 400 days.
Thanks for walking these halls along side me.
Congrats Irish, damn proud to quit with you every day!
Plus...you have one of the premiere "intros of info"
I send quitters here all the time.
Golden.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: JGlav on March 31, 2017, 06:55:00 AM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FISHFLORIDA
Quote from: pky1520
Quote from: wildirish317
400 promises kept - day 400

Today marks the 400th time that I've made a promise to you that I will not use nicotine today. 400 is a large number, but I got here by making 1 promise. 1 is a small number. I've done it 400 times. You can do it too.
Keep making it brother - congrats on 400!
Proud to be quit with you! As long as you are always 89 days ahead if me, we're good.
As always..Irish. Badassery. Congrats on your 400 days.
Thanks for walking these halls along side me.
Congrats Irish, damn proud to quit with you every day!
Plus...you have one of the premiere "intros of info"
I send quitters here all the time.
Golden.
Congrats on 400. Well done.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: baseballbrett on March 31, 2017, 02:06:00 PM
Quote from: JGlav
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FISHFLORIDA
Quote from: pky1520
Quote from: wildirish317
400 promises kept - day 400

Today marks the 400th time that I've made a promise to you that I will not use nicotine today. 400 is a large number, but I got here by making 1 promise. 1 is a small number. I've done it 400 times. You can do it too.
Keep making it brother - congrats on 400!
Proud to be quit with you! As long as you are always 89 days ahead if me, we're good.
As always..Irish. Badassery. Congrats on your 400 days.
Thanks for walking these halls along side me.
Congrats Irish, damn proud to quit with you every day!
Plus...you have one of the premiere "intros of info"
I send quitters here all the time.
Golden.
Congrats on 400. Well done.
Definitely proud to quit with you each day Irish. Thanks for quitting with us. Grats on the 4th floor! Love reading your intro thoughts as well. #junited
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on April 07, 2017, 09:44:00 PM
Time to Leave KTC? (meet the Nic BitchÂ’s sister) - day 408

If you want the wise man's answer to this question, you'll find it here. (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9845729&t=1004418)

I donÂ’t fight cravings much anymore. In fact, in the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 2. However, I do have urges to leave KTC, leave the 4 GroupMeÂ’s to which I belong, and wander off on my own. In the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 27.

So, 27 urges to bolt, vs. 2 urges to cave, vs. 71 urges to stay the same.

Most days, life is good. I wake up, walk the dogs, post roll, go to work, come home, walk the dogs, piddle around the house, cook, eat, watch TV, and go to bed. At two points during these days, I get the urge to put a pinch of Copenhagen between my cheek and gums. I think about that for a minute, the whole idea, the 38 years I spent doing just that, the abrasion in my cheeks, the swallowing of tobacco juice because I just donÂ’t spit, the enslavement. Then itÂ’s gone. IÂ’m out of that cage. IÂ’m not going back.

Other days, the other 27 out of the 100, I’m down. I log on to KTC and post roll. I visit some “newbie” sites, where quitters are struggling through the first 3, 5, 10, or 100 days, and I make comments. I meet resistance, which I usually do, but on these days, I let it get to me.

IDGAF, I think to myself, but I do. I care about these people, strangers who are sharing the same addiction. Still, I want to walk away. No one knows what IÂ’m going through. These people are anxious. IÂ’m depressed. They donÂ’t know. They donÂ’t care.

Then, I get a text. “You doing okay?” Jesus, how do they know?
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: ChickDip on April 07, 2017, 11:29:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
Time to Leave KTC? (meet the Nic BitchÂ’s sister) - day 408

If you want the wise man's answer to this question, you'll find it here. (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9845729&t=1004418)

I donÂ’t fight cravings much anymore. In fact, in the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 2. However, I do have urges to leave KTC, leave the 4 GroupMeÂ’s to which I belong, and wander off on my own. In the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 27.

So, 27 urges to bolt, vs. 2 urges to cave, vs. 71 urges to stay the same.

Most days, life is good. I wake up, walk the dogs, post roll, go to work, come home, walk the dogs, piddle around the house, cook, eat, watch TV, and go to bed. At two points during these days, I get the urge to put a pinch of Copenhagen between my cheek and gums. I think about that for a minute, the whole idea, the 38 years I spent doing just that, the abrasion in my cheeks, the swallowing of tobacco juice because I just donÂ’t spit, the enslavement. Then itÂ’s gone. IÂ’m out of that cage. IÂ’m not going back.

Other days, the other 27 out of the 100, I’m down. I log on to KTC and post roll. I visit some “newbie” sites, where quitters are struggling through the first 3, 5, 10, or 100 days, and I make comments. I meet resistance, which I usually do, but on these days, I let it get to me.

IDGAF, I think to myself, but I do. I care about these people, strangers who are sharing the same addiction. Still, I want to walk away. No one knows what IÂ’m going through. These people are anxious. IÂ’m depressed. They donÂ’t know. They donÂ’t care.

Then, I get a text. “You doing okay?” Jesus, how do they know?
I get more of that than you know Irish.

I like the IDGAF denial syndrome. I suffer from that as well...frequently. I try to tell myself the same thing when i'm trying to step back and get some balance. But I know it's not true.
It's a mental protection against spreading yourself too thin,
possibly. ???
You make a difference by being here. Thank you.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: FISHFLORIDA on April 08, 2017, 12:10:00 AM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: wildirish317
Time to Leave KTC? (meet the Nic BitchÂ’s sister) - day 408

If you want the wise man's answer to this question, you'll find it here. (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9845729&t=1004418)

I donÂ’t fight cravings much anymore. In fact, in the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 2. However, I do have urges to leave KTC, leave the 4 GroupMeÂ’s to which I belong, and wander off on my own. In the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 27.

So, 27 urges to bolt, vs. 2 urges to cave, vs. 71 urges to stay the same.

Most days, life is good. I wake up, walk the dogs, post roll, go to work, come home, walk the dogs, piddle around the house, cook, eat, watch TV, and go to bed. At two points during these days, I get the urge to put a pinch of Copenhagen between my cheek and gums. I think about that for a minute, the whole idea, the 38 years I spent doing just that, the abrasion in my cheeks, the swallowing of tobacco juice because I just donÂ’t spit, the enslavement. Then itÂ’s gone. IÂ’m out of that cage. IÂ’m not going back.

Other days, the other 27 out of the 100, I’m down. I log on to KTC and post roll. I visit some “newbie” sites, where quitters are struggling through the first 3, 5, 10, or 100 days, and I make comments. I meet resistance, which I usually do, but on these days, I let it get to me.

IDGAF, I think to myself, but I do. I care about these people, strangers who are sharing the same addiction. Still, I want to walk away. No one knows what IÂ’m going through. These people are anxious. IÂ’m depressed. They donÂ’t know. They donÂ’t care.

Then, I get a text. “You doing okay?” Jesus, how do they know?
I get more of that than you know Irish.

I like the IDGAF denial syndrome. I suffer from that as well...frequently. I try to tell myself the same thing when i'm trying to step back and get some balance. But I know it's not true.
It's a mental protection against spreading yourself too thin,
possibly. ???
You make a difference by being here. Thank you.
Irish,
i can't tell you how much you've done for me. Hoping to celebrate plenty of more victories with you.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Tjschu on April 08, 2017, 07:12:00 AM
Quote from: FISHFLORIDA
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: wildirish317
Time to Leave KTC? (meet the Nic BitchÂ’s sister) - day 408

If you want the wise man's answer to this question, you'll find it here. (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9845729&t=1004418)

I donÂ’t fight cravings much anymore. In fact, in the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 2. However, I do have urges to leave KTC, leave the 4 GroupMeÂ’s to which I belong, and wander off on my own. In the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 27.

So, 27 urges to bolt, vs. 2 urges to cave, vs. 71 urges to stay the same.

Most days, life is good. I wake up, walk the dogs, post roll, go to work, come home, walk the dogs, piddle around the house, cook, eat, watch TV, and go to bed. At two points during these days, I get the urge to put a pinch of Copenhagen between my cheek and gums. I think about that for a minute, the whole idea, the 38 years I spent doing just that, the abrasion in my cheeks, the swallowing of tobacco juice because I just donÂ’t spit, the enslavement.  Then itÂ’s gone. IÂ’m out of that cage. IÂ’m not going back.

Other days, the other 27 out of the 100, I’m down. I log on to KTC and post roll. I visit some “newbie” sites, where quitters are struggling through the first 3, 5, 10, or 100 days, and I make comments. I meet resistance, which I usually do, but on these days, I let it get to me.

IDGAF, I think to myself, but I do. I care about these people, strangers who are sharing the same addiction. Still, I want to walk away. No one knows what IÂ’m going through. These people are anxious. IÂ’m depressed. They donÂ’t know. They donÂ’t care.

Then, I get a text. “You doing okay?” Jesus, how do they know?
I get more of that than you know Irish.

I like the IDGAF denial syndrome. I suffer from that as well...frequently. I try to tell myself the same thing when i'm trying to step back and get some balance. But I know it's not true.
It's a mental protection against spreading yourself too thin,
possibly. ???
You make a difference by being here. Thank you.
Irish,
i can't tell you how much you've done for me. Hoping to celebrate plenty of more victories with you.
I think you help more people here than you know. I too understand the IDGAF thoughts. We can't stop being who we are. Sure you are going to get resistance from some but if you help one person quit isn't it worth it? I always enjoy reading your posts. You have good insights and a lot of it hits close to home. Proud to quit with you EDD!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: FLLipOut on April 08, 2017, 04:09:00 PM
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: FISHFLORIDA
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: wildirish317
Time to Leave KTC? (meet the Nic BitchÂ’s sister) - day 408

If you want the wise man's answer to this question, you'll find it here. (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9845729&t=1004418)

I donÂ’t fight cravings much anymore. In fact, in the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 2. However, I do have urges to leave KTC, leave the 4 GroupMeÂ’s to which I belong, and wander off on my own. In the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 27.

So, 27 urges to bolt, vs. 2 urges to cave, vs. 71 urges to stay the same.

Most days, life is good. I wake up, walk the dogs, post roll, go to work, come home, walk the dogs, piddle around the house, cook, eat, watch TV, and go to bed. At two points during these days, I get the urge to put a pinch of Copenhagen between my cheek and gums. I think about that for a minute, the whole idea, the 38 years I spent doing just that, the abrasion in my cheeks, the swallowing of tobacco juice because I just donÂ’t spit, the enslavement. Then itÂ’s gone. IÂ’m out of that cage. IÂ’m not going back.

Other days, the other 27 out of the 100, I’m down. I log on to KTC and post roll. I visit some “newbie” sites, where quitters are struggling through the first 3, 5, 10, or 100 days, and I make comments. I meet resistance, which I usually do, but on these days, I let it get to me.

IDGAF, I think to myself, but I do. I care about these people, strangers who are sharing the same addiction. Still, I want to walk away. No one knows what IÂ’m going through. These people are anxious. IÂ’m depressed. They donÂ’t know. They donÂ’t care.

Then, I get a text. “You doing okay?” Jesus, how do they know?
I get more of that than you know Irish.

I like the IDGAF denial syndrome. I suffer from that as well...frequently. I try to tell myself the same thing when i'm trying to step back and get some balance. But I know it's not true.
It's a mental protection against spreading yourself too thin,
possibly. ???
You make a difference by being here. Thank you.
Irish,
i can't tell you how much you've done for me. Hoping to celebrate plenty of more victories with you.
I think you help more people here than you know. I too understand the IDGAF thoughts. We can't stop being who we are. Sure you are going to get resistance from some but if you help one person quit isn't it worth it? I always enjoy reading your posts. You have good insights and a lot of it hits close to home. Proud to quit with you EDD!
You certainly have helped me. And even if you didn't, I'd just like having you around anyway. 'Cheers'

IQWYT.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Ready on April 08, 2017, 09:04:00 PM
Quote from: FLLipOut
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: FISHFLORIDA
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: wildirish317
Time to Leave KTC? (meet the Nic BitchÂ’s sister) - day 408

If you want the wise man's answer to this question, you'll find it here. (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9845729&t=1004418)

I donÂ’t fight cravings much anymore. In fact, in the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 2. However, I do have urges to leave KTC, leave the 4 GroupMeÂ’s to which I belong, and wander off on my own. In the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 27.

So, 27 urges to bolt, vs. 2 urges to cave, vs. 71 urges to stay the same.

Most days, life is good. I wake up, walk the dogs, post roll, go to work, come home, walk the dogs, piddle around the house, cook, eat, watch TV, and go to bed. At two points during these days, I get the urge to put a pinch of Copenhagen between my cheek and gums. I think about that for a minute, the whole idea, the 38 years I spent doing just that, the abrasion in my cheeks, the swallowing of tobacco juice because I just donÂ’t spit, the enslavement. Then itÂ’s gone. IÂ’m out of that cage. IÂ’m not going back.

Other days, the other 27 out of the 100, I’m down. I log on to KTC and post roll. I visit some “newbie” sites, where quitters are struggling through the first 3, 5, 10, or 100 days, and I make comments. I meet resistance, which I usually do, but on these days, I let it get to me.

IDGAF, I think to myself, but I do. I care about these people, strangers who are sharing the same addiction. Still, I want to walk away. No one knows what IÂ’m going through. These people are anxious. IÂ’m depressed. They donÂ’t know. They donÂ’t care.

Then, I get a text. “You doing okay?” Jesus, how do they know?
I get more of that than you know Irish.

I like the IDGAF denial syndrome. I suffer from that as well...frequently. I try to tell myself the same thing when i'm trying to step back and get some balance. But I know it's not true.
It's a mental protection against spreading yourself too thin,
possibly. ???
You make a difference by being here. Thank you.
Irish,
i can't tell you how much you've done for me. Hoping to celebrate plenty of more victories with you.
I think you help more people here than you know. I too understand the IDGAF thoughts. We can't stop being who we are. Sure you are going to get resistance from some but if you help one person quit isn't it worth it? I always enjoy reading your posts. You have good insights and a lot of it hits close to home. Proud to quit with you EDD!
You certainly have helped me. And even if you didn't, I'd just like having you around anyway. 'Cheers'

IQWYT.
Quite a few of us had similar discussion between the one and two year marks. I kinda remeber what you are describing. It was definately not a fun time. Quite different from the early stages but no less difficult, just on a different level I suppose. I can tell you this. It did pass. I havnt had any real issued after the two year mark or there about.

I'm still here. 9 years in. And I don't get that depressed, what's next and this place drags me down feeling any longer. Hell, I don't really make the connections between this place and dipping any longer if that makes sense. It just doesn't faze me.

Hope that helps.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on April 10, 2017, 05:15:00 PM
Quote from: Ready
Quote from: FLLipOut
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: FISHFLORIDA
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: wildirish317
Time to Leave KTC? (meet the Nic BitchÂ’s sister) - day 408

If you want the wise man's answer to this question, you'll find it here. (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9845729&t=1004418)

I donÂ’t fight cravings much anymore. In fact, in the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 2. However, I do have urges to leave KTC, leave the 4 GroupMeÂ’s to which I belong, and wander off on my own. In the past 100 days, IÂ’d say IÂ’ve had about 27.

So, 27 urges to bolt, vs. 2 urges to cave, vs. 71 urges to stay the same.

Most days, life is good. I wake up, walk the dogs, post roll, go to work, come home, walk the dogs, piddle around the house, cook, eat, watch TV, and go to bed. At two points during these days, I get the urge to put a pinch of Copenhagen between my cheek and gums. I think about that for a minute, the whole idea, the 38 years I spent doing just that, the abrasion in my cheeks, the swallowing of tobacco juice because I just donÂ’t spit, the enslavement. Then itÂ’s gone. IÂ’m out of that cage. IÂ’m not going back.

Other days, the other 27 out of the 100, I’m down. I log on to KTC and post roll. I visit some “newbie” sites, where quitters are struggling through the first 3, 5, 10, or 100 days, and I make comments. I meet resistance, which I usually do, but on these days, I let it get to me.

IDGAF, I think to myself, but I do. I care about these people, strangers who are sharing the same addiction. Still, I want to walk away. No one knows what IÂ’m going through. These people are anxious. IÂ’m depressed. They donÂ’t know. They donÂ’t care.

Then, I get a text. “You doing okay?” Jesus, how do they know?
I get more of that than you know Irish.

I like the IDGAF denial syndrome. I suffer from that as well...frequently. I try to tell myself the same thing when i'm trying to step back and get some balance. But I know it's not true.
It's a mental protection against spreading yourself too thin,
possibly. ???
You make a difference by being here. Thank you.
Irish,
i can't tell you how much you've done for me. Hoping to celebrate plenty of more victories with you.
I think you help more people here than you know. I too understand the IDGAF thoughts. We can't stop being who we are. Sure you are going to get resistance from some but if you help one person quit isn't it worth it? I always enjoy reading your posts. You have good insights and a lot of it hits close to home. Proud to quit with you EDD!
You certainly have helped me. And even if you didn't, I'd just like having you around anyway. 'Cheers'

IQWYT.
Quite a few of us had similar discussion between the one and two year marks. I kinda remeber what you are describing. It was definately not a fun time. Quite different from the early stages but no less difficult, just on a different level I suppose. I can tell you this. It did pass. I havnt had any real issued after the two year mark or there about.

I'm still here. 9 years in. And I don't get that depressed, what's next and this place drags me down feeling any longer. Hell, I don't really make the connections between this place and dipping any longer if that makes sense. It just doesn't faze me.

Hope that helps.
Thanks Ready. I'm not going anywhere. My dear lost friend Kubiackalpha once told me "writing is therapeutic", so what better place to post my trials and successes than here? We all have issues beyond (an possibly masked by) our addictions. I've found that I get depressed a lot.

Unfortunately for you guys, I tend to post my trials more than my successes. I should work on that.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on May 19, 2017, 09:06:00 AM
When Do I Get Back To Normal? Day 450
Quote from: Leonidas
Can we be honest?
I am a different person.
I'm not nearly as motivated as I was.
I'm not nearly as content as I was.
I'm as abrasive as ever, but not as happy.
Old time vets, were you like this?
At what point did it go away?
Otherwise, what's the point?
Since we're being honest.
This was posted yesterday by a person with 112 days quit.

Nicotine helps us relax. ItÂ’s a drug. It gives us a buzz. Without it some of us are irritable and impatient; at least I am. So now what do I do? IÂ’m 450 days quit, and not really happy with myself.

When you are having trouble with your quit, read your signature. You put that shite there for a reason.

Let’s see, “Our lives change when our daily habits change. New habits bring new life.” It’s right there, in purple. Duh.

So, I need to develop a new habit that will reduce my irritability and increase my patience. There are many choices, nicotine (no, thatÂ’s out, not going back), meditation, prayer, some herbs perhaps. ItÂ’s a start. Something to persue. One day at a time. IÂ’ll keep you posted.

Edit: I found something to try. (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/%201009607/9/?x=90#post9758062) I'll keep you posted. Based on my past experience with meditation, this will be harder than quitting. However, I have more motivation now.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: walterwhite on May 19, 2017, 12:28:00 PM
I donÂ’t have any words of wisdom on this but what I find that helps me is a positive attitude. My life is so much better without nicotine and that is the honest truth. I hope you find what words for you because we ALL deserve to be happy!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on May 19, 2017, 01:27:00 PM
Quote from: walterwhite
I donÂ’t have any words of wisdom on this but what I find that helps me is a positive attitude. My life is so much better without nicotine and that is the honest truth. I hope you find what words for you because we ALL deserve to be happy!
Don't confuse "not happy" with "unhappy". Perhaps I should have said "not satisfied". I can do better.

Thanks for the comment. Positive attitudes are key. I just need to find a way to flip that switch.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: FLLipOut on May 19, 2017, 09:21:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: walterwhite
I donÂ’t have any words of wisdom on this but what I find that helps me is a positive attitude. My life is so much better without nicotine and that is the honest truth. I hope you find what words for you because we ALL deserve to be happy!
Don't confuse "not happy" with "unhappy". Perhaps I should have said "not satisfied". I can do better.

Thanks for the comment. Positive attitudes are key. I just need to find a way to flip that switch.
Did someone call my name? ;)

Exercise is another alternative. I have found it to be helpful.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on May 19, 2017, 11:15:00 PM
Quote from: FLLipOut
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: walterwhite
I donÂ’t have any words of wisdom on this but what I find that helps me is a positive attitude. My life is so much better without nicotine and that is the honest truth. I hope you find what words for you because we ALL deserve to be happy!
Don't confuse "not happy" with "unhappy". Perhaps I should have said "not satisfied". I can do better.

Thanks for the comment. Positive attitudes are key. I just need to find a way to flip that switch.
Did someone call my name? ;)

Exercise is another alternative. I have found it to be helpful.
Agree totally, and I've been on the exercise train since before my quit. Three days per week lift to exhaustion. It helps a lot.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: FISHFLORIDA on July 08, 2017, 10:01:00 AM
Sir...
I'm going to start out by saying Grats on the half dangle.
I would also like to express how grateful I am for your early presence in my quit and how much it helped me. Please make sure you know how much you helped in my quit and what a difference it made in my overall life. I'm putting this here so other quitters and newbs know that this is not just a place to "hang a number", this place is a support group that will be as close to you as any family member. The first 100 days of my quit, I listened to Irish more than my accountant or lawyers and I'm glad I did. Today I am 411 days quit and I owe a large part of it to you. Thanks Brother and I hope to make some long casts with you someday soon.

Dave DBA FF
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: SoccerJack on July 08, 2017, 10:15:00 AM
500 days?! Inconceivable! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3sLhnDJJn0)
Congratulations on another, singular, day of quit. 'boob'

Jack
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Batdad on July 08, 2017, 11:05:00 AM
Congrats on the half!! Thanks for being a huge part of my quit!!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Samrs on July 08, 2017, 12:58:00 PM
Congratulations on 500, sir! Out-STANDING! Your writing has been a great influence and blessing to me (and others, I'm sure). Thank you so much for being here, sticking around, and showing us all what quitting one day at a time can achieve.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: ChickDip on July 08, 2017, 01:24:00 PM
Quote from: Samrs
Congratulations on 500, sir! Out-STANDING! Your writing has been a great influence and blessing to me (and others, I'm sure). Thank you so much for being here, sticking around, and showing us all what quitting one day at a time can achieve.
Irish. As always....quitting hard and paying it forward.
QWYT on your half dangle day ❤
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Weedsta on July 08, 2017, 03:12:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Samrs
Congratulations on 500, sir! Out-STANDING! Your writing has been a great influence and blessing to me (and others, I'm sure). Thank you so much for being here, sticking around, and showing us all what quitting one day at a time can achieve.
Irish. As always....quitting hard and paying it forward.
QWYT on your half dangle day ❤
congrats on 500 and all you do to support folks on here...quit on!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on July 08, 2017, 09:23:00 PM
Quote from: SoccerJack
500 days?! Inconceivable! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3sLhnDJJn0)
Congratulations on another, singular, day of quit. 'boob'

Jack
No shit Jack!

500 days ago, 500 was a huge number. People with 500 days quit are ancient vets.

Ha!

I still make a decision every day or so to remain quit. Some days I have to make that decision several times. Sometimes it feels like I've been quit 5,000 days, and some days, it feels like day 5. (At least it never feels like day 2 anymore.)

I'm starting to find time to put effort into the parts of my life I put on hold to focus on battling this addiction. It's still a daily battle, but as always, today's crisis becomes tomorrow's routine.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on July 08, 2017, 09:25:00 PM
Quote from: FISHFLORIDA
Sir...
I'm going to start out by saying Grats on the half dangle.
I would also like to express how grateful I am for your early presence in my quit and how much it helped me. Please make sure you know how much you helped in my quit and what a difference it made in my overall life. I'm putting this here so other quitters and newbs know that this is not just a place to "hang a number", this place is a support group that will be as close to you as any family member. The first 100 days of my quit, I listened to Irish more than my accountant or lawyers and I'm glad I did. Today I am 411 days quit and I owe a large part of it to you. Thanks Brother and I hope to make some long casts with you someday soon.

Dave DBA FF
This makes the effort I put into living my quit on KTC worth it. Not sure when we'll get together, but we will.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: pab1964 on July 09, 2017, 05:33:00 PM
Can't say it any better than the ones before me. Great job and congratulations!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: FLLipOut on July 10, 2017, 02:08:00 PM
500 is the big league! So proud to be quit with you, Irish! Thanks for everything you do on KTC that is helping other quitters push through this addiction. I've sent newbies to this Intro on more than one occasion because the wisdom contained in it is pure quit gold!

'party'
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on July 12, 2017, 08:52:00 PM
Quote from: FLLipOut
500 is the big league! So proud to be quit with you, Irish! Thanks for everything you do on KTC that is helping other quitters push through this addiction. I've sent newbies to this Intro on more than one occasion because the wisdom contained in it is pure quit gold!

'party'
Thanks FLLipOut! You've supported me through some tough times. That's what this site is all about.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on July 12, 2017, 08:54:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Can't say it any better than the ones before me. Great job and congratulations!
Pab, you're one of my heroes. You never seem to run out of energy. The elephant avatar suits you, haha! You are as strong as one!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on July 17, 2017, 06:06:00 PM
Maintaining a Sense of Humor day 509

Somewhere along my quit, I lost my sense of humor. Everything became serious, urgent, and either good or bad. My sense of humor went away, and I didn't even realize it. I fought more with Mrs. Irish. She couldn't express an opinion about any topic. If I didn't agree with her, I flew into a rage. If I agreed, I'd simply mumble an acknowledgement.

Such has been my life for the past few months.

This past weekend, it came to a head. I started catching myself as I was starting to rage and just say to myself "stop!". "It's not that important." "See the humor in this." It's then that realized I'd lost my sense of humor. Nothing was funny anymore. I used to be the guy that could see humor in any situation, but that slipped away during my quit. Actually, I let it slip away.

So how did I find it? Like everything else related to fighting an addiction, it takes concious effort, until it becomes a daily habit. I started looking for the humor in every situation that I encounter. When I start to get mad, I stop and think "this has got to be funny in some way" and then I find a way to put a funny spin on it. It helps that I can laugh at myself (although I stopped laughing at myself when I lost my sense of humor, so the two must be related).

Just a quick thought for the day. I'll come back to this.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: FLLipOut on July 17, 2017, 11:02:00 PM
Couple of things I really look forward to in life...each new episode of Game of Thrones and a fresh update in WildIrish's Intro.

'Popcorn'
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: walterwhite on July 18, 2017, 11:57:00 AM
Quote from: wildirish317
Maintaining a Sense of Humor day 509

Somewhere along my quit, I lost my sense of humor. Everything became serious, urgent, and either good or bad. My sense of humor went away, and I didn't even realize it. I fought more with Mrs. Irish. She couldn't express an opinion about any topic. If I didn't agree with her, I flew into a rage. If I agreed, I'd simply mumble an acknowledgement.

Such has been my life for the past few months.

This past weekend, it came to a head. I started catching myself as I was starting to rage and just say to myself "stop!". "It's not that important." "See the humor in this." It's then that realized I'd lost my sense of humor. Nothing was funny anymore. I used to be the guy that could see humor in any situation, but that slipped away during my quit. Actually, I let it slip away.

So how did I find it? Like everything else related to fighting an addiction, it takes concious effort, until it becomes a daily habit. I started looking for the humor in every situation that I encounter. When I start to get mad, I stop and think "this has got to be funny in some way" and then I find a way to put a funny spin on it. It helps that I can laugh at myself (although I stopped laughing at myself when I lost my sense of humor, so the two must be related).

Just a quick thought for the day. I'll come back to this.
Great post IrishÂ…You are not alone.

I too have to remember to laugh and not be so grumpy. I think we put all our energy in quitting. We let things goÂ…home life, work, friends, eating right, to even laughing to name a few. There comes a point in your quit that you can start to add these things back into your life because you arenÂ’t fighting tooth and nail to quit anymore. Some of these things take a little longer to get back because we forgot about them until we realize that we lost it in the first place.

What I have learned is that before I quit I wasnÂ’t a perfect human being and IÂ’m still not. We arenÂ’t the same person we were before we quit. We lost something but in doing so we gained our freedom. I find myself listening more and more to what others are saying about meÂ…especially from people that I care about. I take stock in what they are saying about me and if I think they have a valid pointÂ…I try to make some changes. Every day is a day to improve and to grow to be a better person.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on July 26, 2017, 10:02:00 AM
I am Quit
Quote from: Ginet
Day 393. My quit is strong today. Several people around me spent the day packing their lip, one dip after another. I heard addict speak like "I will quit when the price goes up to $6 bucks because that is way too much money". I heard a person wanting to buy an e-Cig cuz they decided its better than smoking cigarettes. I even saw a person post a Day One here.

I watched those people around me snap the can, grab a pinch and stuff their lips. Then adjust the chaw just right with their tongue. Some spit in a use beer can, one in a bottle, another in a trash can and yet another in the sink. I smiled because it wasn't me. I am not them. I am quit.

I listened to the statement about the price of the can. I know I am an addict. They do not. They don't know what I know. I know I would continue to pay ten dollars for a can if that was the price because I am an addict. I grinned because that wasn't me. I am not them. I am quit.

I was sad to hear that one person thought an e-cig was a good idea. Not understanding how it is only a different delivery system with other risks not yet fully known. They aren't educated like I am about this now. I was thankful that wasn't me. I am not them. I am quit.

I was excited to see the post of day one in May 2015. All the emotions came flooding back to me of my day one. The beginning of the rest of my life they called it. The best decision I will ever make another echoed. Welcome to the suck they typed.

That's when I accepted it. That is me. All of it is me. I did the same. I thought the same. I lived the same. The only difference is, I'm quit. Never forget that you are an addict.....in whatever form your education, hard work, and dedication to others may be......you are still that addict.

~Lady G ~ LF
Thank you Lady G. I shared this quote with the August 2016 group as Sacksy and I conducted them to the HOF. They're all moderators now, so you can take pride in helping them shape their quit and step up to lead others.

I place this here because it strikes a chord with me. Back in the day, before KTC, (before it existed, actually) I was trying to come up with some way to reprogram my mind to that of a non-user. You remember a time before you used nicotine? That's what I'm talking about.

But you can never go back. Hard as you try, you can never go back.

We must go forward. We go forward as Quit.

We don't have "just one" because we are now Quit.

We've moved through life. At one point we were non-users. Then we became users. Then we became addicts. Now we are quit.

Stay quit.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: JB65 on July 27, 2017, 09:15:00 AM
Damn that's awesome stuff Irish.

Its so satisfying now when I'm offered a cigar or chew and I say 'no thanks, i quit all nicotine" and if they press I say " I'm an addict and I cant handle just one of any nicotine product"

The look on so many faces is the same, and i feel like they are thinking ' holy cow, that is one strong Mo Fo, maybe I'm an addict..."

Im only strong because of this place and all the bad ass quit in here!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Ginet on August 01, 2017, 11:50:00 AM
Quote from: wildirish317
I am Quit
Quote from: Ginet
Day 393. My quit is strong today. Several people around me spent the day packing their lip, one dip after another. I heard addict speak like "I will quit when the price goes up to $6 bucks because that is way too much money". I heard a person wanting to buy an e-Cig cuz they decided its better than smoking cigarettes. I even saw a person post a Day One here.

I watched those people around me snap the can, grab a pinch and stuff their lips. Then adjust the chaw just right with their tongue. Some spit in a use beer can, one in a bottle, another in a trash can and yet another in the sink. I smiled because it wasn't me. I am not them. I am quit.

I listened to the statement about the price of the can. I know I am an addict. They do not. They don't know what I know. I know I would continue to pay ten dollars for a can if that was the price because I am an addict. I grinned because that wasn't me. I am not them. I am quit.

I was sad to hear that one person thought an e-cig was a good idea. Not understanding how it is only a different delivery system with other risks not yet fully known. They aren't educated like I am about this now. I was thankful that wasn't me. I am not them. I am quit.

I was excited to see the post of day one in May 2015. All the emotions came flooding back to me of my day one. The beginning of the rest of my life they called it. The best decision I will ever make another echoed. Welcome to the suck they typed.

That's when I accepted it. That is me. All of it is me. I did the same. I thought the same. I lived the same. The only difference is, I'm quit. Never forget that you are an addict.....in whatever form your education, hard work, and dedication to others may be......you are still that addict.

~Lady G ~ LF
Thank you Lady G. I shared this quote with the August 2016 group as Sacksy and I conducted them to the HOF. They're all moderators now, so you can take pride in helping them shape their quit and step up to lead others.

I place this here because it strikes a chord with me. Back in the day, before KTC, (before it existed, actually) I was trying to come up with some way to reprogram my mind to that of a non-user. You remember a time before you used nicotine? That's what I'm talking about.

But you can never go back. Hard as you try, you can never go back.

We must go forward. We go forward as Quit.

We don't have "just one" because we are now Quit.

We've moved through life. At one point we were non-users. Then we became users. Then we became addicts. Now we are quit.

Stay quit.
Hey Irish! I still say these things to myself as I push on to year four....."I am thankful that is not what I am doing....They are me, only I battled to Quit and I hope they still have time to do so..."

#QuitCousins
Lady G
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on August 26, 2017, 10:47:00 PM
A year point five in.

8/25 was my 1.5 year mark. It seems like a short time, yet it seems like forever.

I'm here.

I'm quit.

I've made friends with all of you.

We're quit. That's special. Quit is good. I like it.

FLipOut, you live next to FF. You are a saint. Haha.

I love this place.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on September 19, 2017, 09:16:00 PM
Dip Dream #3 (I think). Day 573


No lead in to this one. Just a flash, a pinch between my cheek and gum, the squeeze forcing the juice out where I could taste it. The the aftermath. It was just a pinch. Does this ruin my quit?

Yeah, it does. You can't have just one.

Dream on, nic. I'm not coming back.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: JMckay on September 20, 2017, 12:24:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
No Excuse To Cave - NONE!

I don't know Todd, other than what I've read in his intro. His story is inspiring. His story made me cry.

If I ever feel life has given me an excuse to cave, I'm going to come here and read this, again.
Quote from: traumagnet
Whew where to begin, well brothers and sisters today should be a joyous day 7th floor with 2 trips around the sun to follow and not to be overshadowed by too many other events right. Well, what I am about to follow up with is a warning my way to pay it forward a way for me to find something positive out of what I have found out. A way to reinforce to those that think they are cured and that they may be able to try a dance with their mistress/Reaper... This is a message to the vets as well as newbies it's not over. This isn't written for sympathy or pity I knew that this was a possibility when I thought I was a tough guy with my lip packed full of death.

Friday 3-13-15 a day I will never forget, I had a colonoscopy and yep you guessed it CANCER located close to where small and large intestines come together... I was a bad ass I didn't need a spitter I gutted it this pseudo-badge of courage is probably the culprit.

Funny what goes through your head when you get that kind of news first initial shock...followed up with panic, fear then sadness. It finally really hit me Sunday a.m. I broke down the thoughts that I may not get to see my wife again, smell her hair, see her smile, hear her laugh, miss her sarcasm...not getting to see my son play sports, graduate and see him go through life not getting to be a Grandpa...Yep all those moments be shared with others and not me. I took a walk down memory lane yesterdayÂ…have I put enough away for my family, what have I left for a legacy, have I given more than I have taken, will I be remembered or just another UST statistic... All that shit goes through your head...I am sure that are a lot more emotions to follow.

Today I am up and going I have shit to do before I go for surgery. I have to use all my tools that I have acquired from KTC and apply them moving forward. THIS DOES NOT GIVE ME THE RIGHT OR EXCUSE TO CHEW! This isn't going to be an I, it will be a WE, brothers and sisters from KTC, friends and family taking this head on one day at a time. I am absolutely impressed with the men and women of KTC who have already started pumping out support....THANK YOU.
Quote from: traumagnet
So if any of you still have friends dippin tell them this if you dont have what it takes to quit nicotine you are gonna be TOO big of a pussy for chemo. Dying is easy its the living that is hard got to dig deep everyday and there would be no way in hell I could do this on my own. If it werent for the support of my wife and family, the support i get daily from the members this site and the people I have in my corner locally. I would have been consumed by this cancer shit. I have already lived through two you only have 6 months left.
Quote from: traumagnet
Well it appears that it has been awhile since I have put in an update. I had double pneumonia that landed me in the hospital for a week...then home health for a week giving me very strong antibiotics. After a week of that the nausea and pain were enough I woke up on a Monday morning and fired everyone. I called the VA and asked to be put on hospice. Hospice has been working with me to get me under control as far as pain and nausea go. I have been puking and dry heaving for days so finally last night they hooked me up to a morphine drip and a Tordol drip subQ. they have also discovered that I have chemo induced thrush from my mouth to my stomach so another obstacle to overcome.

I also carry a BRAF mutation with in the cancer war is like trying fight fires with gasoline. So I am on the hospice pony and just trying to ride whatever time I have left in relative comfort. So just trying to take it easy.

Once again just wanted to say thank you to everyone that has been on this ride with me, I also wanted to say if you text or email and I dont respond right away please dont take it personal there are days that just making it to tomorrow is the best I can do.
thanks
Trauma
Wow trying to figure out how to put this on my intro cause that helps keep a person quit. Even when the anxiety tells you take a dip so you feel better.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: FLLipOut on October 16, 2017, 08:56:00 AM
600!!!!

'Cheers' Congratulations on reaching the 6th floor, Irish!!! 'Sing and Drink'

'band' 'party2'
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: ChickDip on October 16, 2017, 12:33:00 PM
Quote from: FLLipOut
600!!!!

'Cheers' Congratulations on reaching the 6th floor, Irish!!! 'Sing and Drink'

'band' 'party2'


Congrats on 600 'irish' ❤❤
Chick  'Sing and Drink'  Irish
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: DonkeyMN on October 18, 2017, 12:16:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FLLipOut
600!!!!

'Cheers' Congratulations on reaching the 6th floor, Irish!!! 'Sing and Drink'

'band' 'party2'


Congrats on 600 'irish' ❤❤
Chick  'Sing and Drink'  Irish
Sorry I didn't see this earlier, congrats on 6 floors of badassery Irish! 'clap'
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: bojax on November 11, 2017, 07:36:00 PM
Quote from: DonkeyMN
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FLLipOut
[big][big][big]600!!!![/big][/big][/big]

'Cheers' Congratulations on reaching the 6th floor, Irish!!! 'Sing and Drink'

'band' 'party2'


Congrats on 600 'irish' ❤❤
Chick  'Sing and Drink'  Irish
Sorry I didn't see this earlier, congrats on 6 floors of badassery Irish! 'clap'
Bump
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Dogonhunt on November 29, 2017, 01:58:00 PM
Quote from: Bojax
Quote from: DonkeyMN
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FLLipOut
[big][big][big]600!!!![/big][/big][/big]

'Cheers' Congratulations on reaching the 6th floor, Irish!!! 'Sing and Drink'

'band' 'party2'


Congrats on 600 'irish' ❤❤
Chick  'Sing and Drink'  Irish
Sorry I didn't see this earlier, congrats on 6 floors of badassery Irish! 'clap'
Bump
Irish!

poof - down one (rookie!)
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Dogonhunt on November 29, 2017, 02:00:00 PM
Irish,

Just read from post #1 to here, it's cool to get paid for this, and I agree - Autodesk can be hard on a Quit...

All this is Pure Quit Gold, many many points on your side of the net from the Quit Gods!

Thanks!
Dogonhunt 43
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on December 01, 2017, 05:07:00 PM
Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: DeskJockey
Good introductory posts, wildirish! I'm a 30-year chewer and dipper and can relate to learning not to spit and also going through "only" two cans per week. Lots of guys here say they did that in a day, and I don't see how, unless they kept spitting out one dip and putting another one in every ten or fifteen minutes. I'd put in a dip and leave it for an hour or two!

Glad you're here. You can do this. The quitting fog will be around for a while, and if you're like me, you'll have mysterious aches and pains as well, but keep up the good fight and you'll be over the hardest part before you know it!
Thanks man. I told Mrs. Irish that she will have to put up with my irritability this weekend.

Which, btw, I'm glad it's the weekend. A lot of people are posting on my roll call to be wary of the weekend, but I need to be away from work to do this. I certainly don't want to lash out at people, and I almost came home "sick" today just to take a nap.
I was on bp meds, Lipitor, and type 2 diabetes meds when I quit.

They are all in the trash now. Nicotine can fuck off.

Not taking meds is great. Feeling 20 years younger is great. Not being terrified every time my lip hurt is great. Saving money is great. Not hiding and lying is great.

But dude, the sense of freedom from not, consciously or unconsciously, planning damn near every minute around making sure my blood nicotine levels were satisfied... Is not something that I or any other quitter can adequately put into words. Right now you are an angry addict fighting hard. I promise you, scouts honor, that there is a sense of pride and peace ahead that you are not anticipating and can not imagine.

Welcome to Ktc. Posting is not easy or intuitive as you've discovered. If you mess up roll - someone will fix it. You'll get better at it. In the meantime, just focus on today. Very very very bright days are ahead. If I can help at all - shoot me a pm

-w2w
You kept that promise w2w. I'm feeling it now.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on December 22, 2017, 08:33:00 AM
Day 667

PAWs struck again last night. Just a strong feeling of irritability, no more.

So, I canceled all of my plans and took the evening off, just relaxed.

I feel fine this morning.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on January 05, 2018, 04:13:00 PM
Day 681

A Tribute to June 2009!

I started posting with June 2009 on the 43rd day of my quit. I posted with them every damned day until today.

I guess I should say that I posted with Syndrome and XCF on their thread. Dan The Man was the only original member that I recall posting there. He hung with us for a while, then faded away.

It was my quiet place. A place to go when the home page was so full of shite and drivel that I just had to get away. It was always quiet. I couldn't wait until my own group became that quiet.

It is that quiet now.

Still, I posted with June 09 every day. Partially out of respect, partially because I feel like I should have been a part of that group. If I had quit in 09, I would be seven years more quit than I am. Seven years less nicotine ingestion.

When I went there to post roll this morning, the thread is closed because no original members are still posting in it.

Sadness.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: FLLipOut on January 24, 2018, 09:33:00 AM
700!

Congrats on your 7th floor quit, irish!

'party2'
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: DonkeyMN on January 24, 2018, 09:51:00 AM
Quote from: FLLipOut
700!

Congrats on your 7th floor quit, irish!

'party2'
Congrats on 7 floors of badassery, and all the help you provide around here. Proud to quit with the cloverleaf!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: ChickDip on January 24, 2018, 07:30:00 PM
Quote from: DonkeyMN
Quote from: FLLipOut
700!

Congrats on your 7th floor quit, irish!

'party2'
Congrats on 7 floors of badassery, and all the help you provide around here. Proud to quit with the cloverleaf!
Hey Irish.. Congrats on hitting the 7th floor!
APP!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on January 25, 2018, 11:57:00 AM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: DonkeyMN
Quote from: FLLipOut
700!

Congrats on your 7th floor quit, irish!

'party2'
Congrats on 7 floors of badassery, and all the help you provide around here. Proud to quit with the cloverleaf!
Hey Irish.. Congrats on hitting the 7th floor!
APP!
:wub: Thank you! You three have always been my strongest supporters!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: David S on January 28, 2018, 10:50:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: DonkeyMN
Quote from: FLLipOut
700!

Congrats on your 7th floor quit, irish!

'party2'
Congrats on 7 floors of badassery, and all the help you provide around here. Proud to quit with the cloverleaf!
Hey Irish.. Congrats on hitting the 7th floor!
APP!
:wub: Thank you! You three have always been my strongest supporters!
IÂ’m late to the party but 700 is awesome
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on February 06, 2018, 10:19:00 PM
Day 713

Random thought (we're allowed that after doing this for 700+ days, right)?

What you post on the internet tells the world more about you than what you're posting about.

Translate that to "real life", what you say tells the world more about you than what you're talking about.

Encourage, enlighten, educate.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: RWBullet on February 23, 2018, 04:33:00 PM
congrats on 2 years quit 'irish' 'party2'
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on February 23, 2018, 10:44:00 PM
Quote from: RWBullet
congrats on 2 years quit 'irish' 'party2'
Thanks, but not there yet. Thanks to quitting in February during a Leap Year, my anniversary is Sunday, 2/25. (Pretty damn sure I'm going to make it though. A couple of promises to make and keep yet.)
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on February 24, 2018, 11:09:00 AM
For the past two years, I've been fighting my addiction to nicotine. Every single day, I made my promise to people I've never met, that I will remain nicotine free today.

For the past two years, I've come here and shared the things I've learned about addiction, how it affects us, and how we can react to it; how we can live with it.

I just finished reading through my entire intro, and realize I have absolutely nothing left to share. My quit is strong. I have no obstacles in my immediate quit. I'm at the point where I see people using tobacco and think "I don't understand why someone would stick that shit in their mouth (or lungs)." I have an aversion to nicotine. It held me in its grasp for 38 years. I am now free. I will stay free.

This is not a farewell post. It's more like the end of my introduction. If you don't know me by now, there's nothing I can add. I am quit. You will still find me around the site, posting roll, or making Haiku's. Early in my quit, I always longed for the day when my quit group was as quiet as the old quit groups. It's there now. I can finally post in peace. I am now "reteered" as one of my favorite quitters likes to say.

PS: When I learn something about addiction and recovery (and I will) I will return to post it. In the mean time, I have a whole new life to explore.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: ChickDip on February 24, 2018, 03:36:00 PM
Quote from: wildirish317
For the past two years, I've been fighting my addiction to nicotine. Every single day, I made my promise to people I've never met, that I will remain nicotine free today.

For the past two years, I've come here and shared the things I've learned about addiction, how it affects us, and how we can react to it; how we can live with it.

I just finished reading through my entire intro, and realize I have absolutely nothing left to share. My quit is strong. I have no obstacles in my immediate quit. I'm at the point where I see people using tobacco and think "I don't understand why someone would stick that shit in their mouth (or lungs)." I have an aversion to nicotine. It held me in its grasp for 38 years. I am now free. I will stay free.

This is not a farewell post. It's more like the end of my introduction. If you don't know me by now, there's nothing I can add. I am quit. You will still find me around the site, posting roll, or making Haiku's. Early in my quit, I always longed for the day when my quit group was as quiet as the old quit groups. It's there now. I can finally post in peace. I am now "reteered" as one of my favorite quitters likes to say.

PS: When I learn something about addiction and recovery (and I will) I will return to post it. In the mean time, I have a whole new life to explore.
Be looking forward to more then.
I've pointed numerous new and old quit here...to this treasure-trove...and I still will when the moment arises.
Quit on.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: FLLipOut on February 24, 2018, 09:35:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: wildirish317
For the past two years, I've been fighting my addiction to nicotine. Every single day, I made my promise to people I've never met, that I will remain nicotine free today.

For the past two years, I've come here and shared the things I've learned about addiction, how it affects us, and how we can react to it; how we can live with it.

I just finished reading through my entire intro, and realize I have absolutely nothing left to share. My quit is strong. I have no obstacles in my immediate quit. I'm at the point where I see people using tobacco and think "I don't understand why someone would stick that shit in their mouth (or lungs)." I have an aversion to nicotine. It held me in its grasp for 38 years. I am now free. I will stay free.

This is not a farewell post. It's more like the end of my introduction. If you don't know me by now, there's nothing I can add. I am quit. You will still find me around the site, posting roll, or making Haiku's. Early in my quit, I always longed for the day when my quit group was as quiet as the old quit groups. It's there now. I can finally post in peace. I am now "reteered" as one of my favorite quitters likes to say.

PS: When I learn something about addiction and recovery (and I will) I will return to post it. In the mean time, I have a whole new life to explore.
Be looking forward to more then.
I've pointed numerous new and old quit here...to this treasure-trove...and I still will when the moment arises.
Quit on.
Wait! Tomorrow you finally hit the 2 year anniversary - the point where PAWS is supposed to end! So...??? Is 2 years all it was cracked up to be?
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on February 24, 2018, 11:37:00 PM
Quote from: FLLipOut
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: wildirish317
For the past two years, I've been fighting my addiction to nicotine. Every single day, I made my promise to people I've never met, that I will remain nicotine free today.

For the past two years, I've come here and shared the things I've learned about addiction, how it affects us, and how we can react to it; how we can live with it.

I just finished reading through my entire intro, and realize I have absolutely nothing left to share. My quit is strong. I have no obstacles in my immediate quit. I'm at the point where I see people using tobacco and think "I don't understand why someone would stick that shit in their mouth (or lungs)." I have an aversion to nicotine. It held me in its grasp for 38 years. I am now free. I will stay free.

This is not a farewell post. It's more like the end of my introduction. If you don't know me by now, there's nothing I can add. I am quit. You will still find me around the site, posting roll, or making Haiku's. Early in my quit, I always longed for the day when my quit group was as quiet as the old quit groups. It's there now. I can finally post in peace. I am now "reteered" as one of my favorite quitters likes to say.

PS: When I learn something about addiction and recovery (and I will) I will return to post it. In the mean time, I have a whole new life to explore.
Be looking forward to more then.
I've pointed numerous new and old quit here...to this treasure-trove...and I still will when the moment arises.
Quit on.
Wait! Tomorrow you finally hit the 2 year anniversary - the point where PAWS is supposed to end! So...??? Is 2 years all it was cracked up to be?
Yes, 2 years was all it was cracked up to be. I made it. Life is good.

I remember: "Wait, wat? 2 Fockin' years? I can only quit for today!" Yeah, that's what it took. I quit each one of those days. I made it. You can too. You're almost there. :wub:
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: FLLipOut on February 25, 2018, 08:54:00 AM
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: FLLipOut
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: wildirish317
For the past two years, I've been fighting my addiction to nicotine. Every single day, I made my promise to people I've never met, that I will remain nicotine free today.

For the past two years, I've come here and shared the things I've learned about addiction, how it affects us, and how we can react to it; how we can live with it.

I just finished reading through my entire intro, and realize I have absolutely nothing left to share. My quit is strong. I have no obstacles in my immediate quit. I'm at the point where I see people using tobacco and think "I don't understand why someone would stick that shit in their mouth (or lungs)." I have an aversion to nicotine. It held me in its grasp for 38 years. I am now free. I will stay free.

This is not a farewell post. It's more like the end of my introduction. If you don't know me by now, there's nothing I can add. I am quit. You will still find me around the site, posting roll, or making Haiku's. Early in my quit, I always longed for the day when my quit group was as quiet as the old quit groups. It's there now. I can finally post in peace. I am now "reteered" as one of my favorite quitters likes to say.

PS: When I learn something about addiction and recovery (and I will) I will return to post it. In the mean time, I have a whole new life to explore.
Be looking forward to more then.
I've pointed numerous new and old quit here...to this treasure-trove...and I still will when the moment arises.
Quit on.
Wait! Tomorrow you finally hit the 2 year anniversary - the point where PAWS is supposed to end! So...??? Is 2 years all it was cracked up to be?
Yes, 2 years was all it was cracked up to be. I made it. Life is good.

I remember: "Wait, wat? 2 Fockin' years? I can only quit for today!" Yeah, that's what it took. I quit each one of those days. I made it. You can too. You're almost there. :wub:
2 YEARS!

Congratulations, Irish!!

'party2'
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: ChickDip on February 25, 2018, 12:03:00 PM
Quote from: FLLipOut
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: FLLipOut
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: wildirish317
For the past two years, I've been fighting my addiction to nicotine. Every single day, I made my promise to people I've never met, that I will remain nicotine free today.

For the past two years, I've come here and shared the things I've learned about addiction, how it affects us, and how we can react to it; how we can live with it.

I just finished reading through my entire intro, and realize I have absolutely nothing left to share. My quit is strong. I have no obstacles in my immediate quit. I'm at the point where I see people using tobacco and think "I don't understand why someone would stick that shit in their mouth (or lungs)." I have an aversion to nicotine. It held me in its grasp for 38 years. I am now free. I will stay free.

This is not a farewell post. It's more like the end of my introduction. If you don't know me by now, there's nothing I can add. I am quit. You will still find me around the site, posting roll, or making Haiku's. Early in my quit, I always longed for the day when my quit group was as quiet as the old quit groups. It's there now. I can finally post in peace. I am now "reteered" as one of my favorite quitters likes to say.

PS: When I learn something about addiction and recovery (and I will) I will return to post it. In the mean time, I have a whole new life to explore.
Be looking forward to more then.
I've pointed numerous new and old quit here...to this treasure-trove...and I still will when the moment arises.
Quit on.
Wait! Tomorrow you finally hit the 2 year anniversary - the point where PAWS is supposed to end! So...??? Is 2 years all it was cracked up to be?
Yes, 2 years was all it was cracked up to be. I made it. Life is good.

I remember: "Wait, wat? 2 Fockin' years? I can only quit for today!" Yeah, that's what it took. I quit each one of those days. I made it. You can too. You're almost there. :wub:
2 YEARS!

Congratulations, Irish!!

'party2'
Congrats on 2 years quit Irish!! 'irish' ❤
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: pab1964 on February 25, 2018, 03:58:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FLLipOut
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: FLLipOut
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: wildirish317
For the past two years, I've been fighting my addiction to nicotine. Every single day, I made my promise to people I've never met, that I will remain nicotine free today.

For the past two years, I've come here and shared the things I've learned about addiction, how it affects us, and how we can react to it; how we can live with it.

I just finished reading through my entire intro, and realize I have absolutely nothing left to share. My quit is strong. I have no obstacles in my immediate quit. I'm at the point where I see people using tobacco and think "I don't understand why someone would stick that shit in their mouth (or lungs)." I have an aversion to nicotine. It held me in its grasp for 38 years. I am now free. I will stay free.

This is not a farewell post. It's more like the end of my introduction. If you don't know me by now, there's nothing I can add. I am quit. You will still find me around the site, posting roll, or making Haiku's. Early in my quit, I always longed for the day when my quit group was as quiet as the old quit groups. It's there now. I can finally post in peace. I am now "reteered" as one of my favorite quitters likes to say.

PS: When I learn something about addiction and recovery (and I will) I will return to post it. In the mean time, I have a whole new life to explore.
Be looking forward to more then.
I've pointed numerous new and old quit here...to this treasure-trove...and I still will when the moment arises.
Quit on.
Wait! Tomorrow you finally hit the 2 year anniversary - the point where PAWS is supposed to end! So...??? Is 2 years all it was cracked up to be?
Yes, 2 years was all it was cracked up to be. I made it. Life is good.

I remember: "Wait, wat? 2 Fockin' years? I can only quit for today!" Yeah, that's what it took. I quit each one of those days. I made it. You can too. You're almost there. :wub:
2 YEARS!

Congratulations, Irish!!

'party2'
Congrats on 2 years quit Irish!! 'irish' ❤
Congratulations on 2 Years my friend! Keep paying it forward
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Srrlgr on April 08, 2018, 10:32:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FLLipOut
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: FLLipOut
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: wildirish317
For the past two years, I've been fighting my addiction to nicotine. Every single day, I made my promise to people I've never met, that I will remain nicotine free today.

For the past two years, I've come here and shared the things I've learned about addiction, how it affects us, and how we can react to it; how we can live with it.

I just finished reading through my entire intro, and realize I have absolutely nothing left to share. My quit is strong. I have no obstacles in my immediate quit. I'm at the point where I see people using tobacco and think "I don't understand why someone would stick that shit in their mouth (or lungs)." I have an aversion to nicotine. It held me in its grasp for 38 years. I am now free. I will stay free.

This is not a farewell post. It's more like the end of my introduction. If you don't know me by now, there's nothing I can add. I am quit. You will still find me around the site, posting roll, or making Haiku's. Early in my quit, I always longed for the day when my quit group was as quiet as the old quit groups. It's there now. I can finally post in peace. I am now "reteered" as one of my favorite quitters likes to say.

PS: When I learn something about addiction and recovery (and I will) I will return to post it. In the mean time, I have a whole new life to explore.
Be looking forward to more then.
I've pointed numerous new and old quit here...to this treasure-trove...and I still will when the moment arises.
Quit on.
Wait! Tomorrow you finally hit the 2 year anniversary - the point where PAWS is supposed to end! So...??? Is 2 years all it was cracked up to be?
Yes, 2 years was all it was cracked up to be. I made it. Life is good.

I remember: "Wait, wat? 2 Fockin' years? I can only quit for today!" Yeah, that's what it took. I quit each one of those days. I made it. You can too. You're almost there. :wub:
2 YEARS!

Congratulations, Irish!!

'party2'
Congrats on 2 years quit Irish!! 'irish' ❤
Congratulations on 2 Years my friend! Keep paying it forward
Thank you for the posts Irish. I just read it in itÂ’s entirety. It truly helps my perspective. One of my major flaws is the thought that I am a kinder person when I am using nicotine. Quite frankly, itÂ’s a thought that I was never comfortable expressing, however, it is there. This thread has provided another thought, I am not alone in experiencing this thought. More importantly, this thought, is a lie. It is PAWS! I get it. Thank you Irish, I needed this and will use it in my battles ahead. Day 131.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on May 04, 2018, 09:37:00 PM
The Value of Documenting Your Journey

I really was on a search for more on the topic of the law of addiction, in ""Freedom from Nicotine" (http://whyquit.com/ffn/index.html) when I found this:

While "one day at a time" is an excellent victory yardstick, imagine the value of being able to look back and see what each day was like. Consider jotting down a few calendar notes or diary entries about what early recovery was like and the challenges overcome. Although not necessary to success, doing so could prove valuable later.

Why would anyone want to vividly recall the first few days of recovery, days which could reflect a blend of frustrations, anxieties, crave episodes, anger, bargaining and sadness? The same reason we need to remember, in as much detail as possible, daily life as an actively feeding nicotine addict.

We've all heard that "those who forget the past are destined to repeat it." It's hard to imagine a situation where it rings truer than with drug recovery and relapse. Humans tend to repress and inhibit negative emotional memories, and emotional experiences in general.146 Instead, we remember and replay the good, while forgetting the bad.

Imagine if it were otherwise. A vivid picture of all the pain, anxiety and hurt of all our yesterdays would be a heavy burden to bear. While your mind may quickly suppress memories of the challenges overcome, ink on paper or words typed into a computer are durable. The best way to protect against complacency isn't by forgetting what bondage or recovery was like, but by accurately recalling them.

It's wise to make a record of both the reasons you want to break free and what the first couple of weeks were like. Consider sending yourself an e-mail before bed. And here's an example of why.

Imagine hitting what feels like a recovery plateau, where you no longer sense improvement. Imagine feeling stuck and wondering if it's going to remain this way for good, as if a rose bud had stopped opening.

Now imagine being able to look back and read your own progress notes. Like having a medical chart during a hospital stay, your record can provide accurate perspective of how far you've come. It can help calm concerns that recovery has stalled. Although at times nearly impossible to see, I
assure you, recovery's rose bud continues to slowly unfold.

Consider a present gift of future memory. Consider it free relapse insurance. A few memory jogging notes when starting out could become invaluable during challenge, lulls or once complacency arrives.


I did this, for my first two years. I still go back to it when I feel the need. It's like a soft leather chair. I find comfort there. If you are in the early stages of recovery, I urge you to do this. If you are in later stages, find someone who is in their early stages, help them through it, and document that process.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: FLLipOut on May 04, 2018, 10:40:00 PM
Nice 800 Irish!

'party2'
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: ChickDip on May 05, 2018, 05:01:00 AM
Quote from: FLLipOut
Nice 800 Irish!

'party2'
Happy 8th floor Irish!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Hutch18 on August 12, 2018, 08:47:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FLLipOut
Nice 800 Irish!

'party2'
Happy 8th floor Irish!
This post is definitely worth the read. Holy crap two years great job. I am only on day 34 and barely imagine day 45 let alone 2! years. This site is quite the life saver.!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: 69franx on August 12, 2018, 10:16:00 PM
Congrats on the 9th floor brother!
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Athan on August 14, 2018, 07:18:00 PM
Wow Irish, surely do value catching glimpses of you as you stroll through the halls. It's like catching drops of wisdom like the morning dew.
Thanks for sticking around. I know that you've rippled into my journey in a profound way. Hope to catch a glimpse of you soon...
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: Doofus on August 15, 2018, 11:05:00 AM
DAY 214, HONORED TO BE WITH YOU IN QUIT, CONGRATS
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: ChickDip on August 16, 2018, 12:22:00 PM
Quote from: 69Franx
Congrats on the 9th floor brother!
Huge congrats on 900 Irish!!
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on March 01, 2019, 07:58:45 PM
Okay, I've dragged this up from the depths.  Please don't merge this with my old intro.  Let the dead bury the dead.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: Gunnar on March 01, 2019, 08:08:11 PM
Not sure what's happened to the intro section.  At least in my case, people seem to read, but not comment.  It's kind of sad.

I just made a bold statement that goals are for losers, and then made an argument for adopting systems instead of goals.  Yet, I used goals to support using systems to achieve these goals.

What goals did I list? 
  • Having your natural teeth at age 80.
  • Be healthy.
  • Freedom from nicotine.

Surely you guys are smart enough to challenge me when I do this.

Am I off limits because I've been free from nicotine for 3 years?  I still make a conscience decision to quit every day, just like you.

Feel free to push back.  This is life.  This is important.
I’ll bite... I’ve been around longer than you even ;)

Goals and systems exist for each other. Why have a system to follow when you have no goal? Goals by themselves are just a desired outcome and mean nothing. I can set goals all I want but, so what? It’s just talk. I can follow a system all damn day but without an end result being worked towards it’s just pointless busywork.

Goals really aren’t for losers... you need them to keep moving forward and growing and evolving... BUT... without a system in place to reach it you’re gonna lose and end up trying over and over and...

We hate that here.

Exactly!  I should pause here and credit my "Goals are for Losers" post to Scott Adams (author of Dilbert) in his latest book "How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big", which is a good read, btw.

It kind of follows something that's been with me all of my life: every action you take moves you closer to, or farther from your goals.  The idea of using a defined system came from Scott.

I can look at my life and see the systems I've used to become a better version of myself.  I can't say that I consciously constructed these systems.  They are just habits I've adopted.

The trick with goals is to make them more general, as in "I want to be fit and trim" rather than "I want to lose 50 lbs by this time next year".  Then you can find a system to move you in the right direction, every day.

Sometimes you have to put a time limit on it, which is usually "now".  When you lose your job, for example, or want to quit nicotine.

I like some of the thoughts behind the system approach, but I think for it to work for me it would have to be more specific, so maybe that defeats the point of what you are saying....

Example: I want to be fit and trim, does not work for me. However, I want to be able to walk/run for 10 miles with 30lbs on my back in the mountains and be able to do that for 9 straight days of hunting/hiking by September 1st.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on March 01, 2019, 08:40:03 PM
Not sure what's happened to the intro section.  At least in my case, people seem to read, but not comment.  It's kind of sad.

I just made a bold statement that goals are for losers, and then made an argument for adopting systems instead of goals.  Yet, I used goals to support using systems to achieve these goals.

What goals did I list? 
  • Having your natural teeth at age 80.
  • Be healthy.
  • Freedom from nicotine.

Surely you guys are smart enough to challenge me when I do this.

Am I off limits because I've been free from nicotine for 3 years?  I still make a conscience decision to quit every day, just like you.

Feel free to push back.  This is life.  This is important.
I’ll bite... I’ve been around longer than you even ;)

Goals and systems exist for each other. Why have a system to follow when you have no goal? Goals by themselves are just a desired outcome and mean nothing. I can set goals all I want but, so what? It’s just talk. I can follow a system all damn day but without an end result being worked towards it’s just pointless busywork.

Goals really aren’t for losers... you need them to keep moving forward and growing and evolving... BUT... without a system in place to reach it you’re gonna lose and end up trying over and over and...

We hate that here.

Exactly!  I should pause here and credit my "Goals are for Losers" post to Scott Adams (author of Dilbert) in his latest book "How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big", which is a good read, btw.

It kind of follows something that's been with me all of my life: every action you take moves you closer to, or farther from your goals.  The idea of using a defined system came from Scott.

I can look at my life and see the systems I've used to become a better version of myself.  I can't say that I consciously constructed these systems.  They are just habits I've adopted.

The trick with goals is to make them more general, as in "I want to be fit and trim" rather than "I want to lose 50 lbs by this time next year".  Then you can find a system to move you in the right direction, every day.

Sometimes you have to put a time limit on it, which is usually "now".  When you lose your job, for example, or want to quit nicotine.

I like some of the thoughts behind the system approach, but I think for it to work for me it would have to be more specific, so maybe that defeats the point of what you are saying....

Example: I want to be fit and trim, does not work for me. However, I want to be able to walk/run for 10 miles with 30lbs on my back in the mountains and be able to do that for 9 straight days of hunting/hiking by September 1st.
Well, that's definitely a goal.  The problem I see with this is, when you start your 9 days, what happens if you don't make 10 miles in a given day?  The only way to accomplish this goal is to accomplish it beforehand.  You have to hike 9 days with 30 lbs on your back before you ever start that journey.

I'm building a system here.  It's like training for a marathon.  Marathon runners don't actually (I think) run a marathon before the race, but there is a system for preparation.

I've given this a bit more thought since my original post, and I think it's more about "what are you doing today, and every day, to improve, to become a better version of yourself"?

Goals give us direction.  Even if we don't reach them, we're better people for having tried.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: Gunnar on March 02, 2019, 08:08:01 AM
Not sure what's happened to the intro section.  At least in my case, people seem to read, but not comment.  It's kind of sad.

I just made a bold statement that goals are for losers, and then made an argument for adopting systems instead of goals.  Yet, I used goals to support using systems to achieve these goals.

What goals did I list? 
  • Having your natural teeth at age 80.
  • Be healthy.
  • Freedom from nicotine.

Surely you guys are smart enough to challenge me when I do this.

Am I off limits because I've been free from nicotine for 3 years?  I still make a conscience decision to quit every day, just like you.

Feel free to push back.  This is life.  This is important.
I’ll bite... I’ve been around longer than you even ;)

Goals and systems exist for each other. Why have a system to follow when you have no goal? Goals by themselves are just a desired outcome and mean nothing. I can set goals all I want but, so what? It’s just talk. I can follow a system all damn day but without an end result being worked towards it’s just pointless busywork.

Goals really aren’t for losers... you need them to keep moving forward and growing and evolving... BUT... without a system in place to reach it you’re gonna lose and end up trying over and over and...

We hate that here.

Exactly!  I should pause here and credit my "Goals are for Losers" post to Scott Adams (author of Dilbert) in his latest book "How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big", which is a good read, btw.

It kind of follows something that's been with me all of my life: every action you take moves you closer to, or farther from your goals.  The idea of using a defined system came from Scott.

I can look at my life and see the systems I've used to become a better version of myself.  I can't say that I consciously constructed these systems.  They are just habits I've adopted.

The trick with goals is to make them more general, as in "I want to be fit and trim" rather than "I want to lose 50 lbs by this time next year".  Then you can find a system to move you in the right direction, every day.

Sometimes you have to put a time limit on it, which is usually "now".  When you lose your job, for example, or want to quit nicotine.

I like some of the thoughts behind the system approach, but I think for it to work for me it would have to be more specific, so maybe that defeats the point of what you are saying....

Example: I want to be fit and trim, does not work for me. However, I want to be able to walk/run for 10 miles with 30lbs on my back in the mountains and be able to do that for 9 straight days of hunting/hiking by September 1st.
Well, that's definitely a goal.  The problem I see with this is, when you start your 9 days, what happens if you don't make 10 miles in a given day?  The only way to accomplish this goal is to accomplish it beforehand.  You have to hike 9 days with 30 lbs on your back before you ever start that journey.

I'm building a system here.  It's like training for a marathon.  Marathon runners don't actually (I think) run a marathon before the race, but there is a system for preparation.

I've given this a bit more thought since my original post, and I think it's more about "what are you doing today, and every day, to improve, to become a better version of yourself"?

Goals give us direction.  Even if we don't reach them, we're better people for having tried.

I would say my goal is similar to that of m a marathoner.  In order to accomplish my goal I have to put in a system of training.  I don’t live in the mountains so I have to build my leg strength and endurance at low altitudes.  I have to run, lift, hike hills with weight, run stairs etc...and success is not guaranteed the first time, you may need to attempt and then change your training system. 

You’re right most marathoners don’t run a full marathon before but they come very close, and they do it multiple times.

I love your last thought, “"what are you doing today, and every day, to improve, to become a better version of yourself"?” This is a great way to approach everyday!  Just make sure, if you’re a dad, that one of you’re goals/improvements is to become a better dad/husband everyday.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: walterwhite on March 07, 2019, 12:54:01 PM
Not sure what's happened to the intro section.  At least in my case, people seem to read, but not comment.  It's kind of sad.

I just made a bold statement that goals are for losers, and then made an argument for adopting systems instead of goals.  Yet, I used goals to support using systems to achieve these goals.

What goals did I list? 
  • Having your natural teeth at age 80.
  • Be healthy.
  • Freedom from nicotine.

Surely you guys are smart enough to challenge me when I do this.

Am I off limits because I've been free from nicotine for 3 years?  I still make a conscience decision to quit every day, just like you.

Feel free to push back.  This is life.  This is important.
I’ll bite... I’ve been around longer than you even ;)

Goals and systems exist for each other. Why have a system to follow when you have no goal? Goals by themselves are just a desired outcome and mean nothing. I can set goals all I want but, so what? It’s just talk. I can follow a system all damn day but without an end result being worked towards it’s just pointless busywork.

Goals really aren’t for losers... you need them to keep moving forward and growing and evolving... BUT... without a system in place to reach it you’re gonna lose and end up trying over and over and...

We hate that here.

Exactly!  I should pause here and credit my "Goals are for Losers" post to Scott Adams (author of Dilbert) in his latest book "How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big", which is a good read, btw.

It kind of follows something that's been with me all of my life: every action you take moves you closer to, or farther from your goals.  The idea of using a defined system came from Scott.

I can look at my life and see the systems I've used to become a better version of myself.  I can't say that I consciously constructed these systems.  They are just habits I've adopted.

The trick with goals is to make them more general, as in "I want to be fit and trim" rather than "I want to lose 50 lbs by this time next year".  Then you can find a system to move you in the right direction, every day.

Sometimes you have to put a time limit on it, which is usually "now".  When you lose your job, for example, or want to quit nicotine.

I like some of the thoughts behind the system approach, but I think for it to work for me it would have to be more specific, so maybe that defeats the point of what you are saying....

Example: I want to be fit and trim, does not work for me. However, I want to be able to walk/run for 10 miles with 30lbs on my back in the mountains and be able to do that for 9 straight days of hunting/hiking by September 1st.
Well, that's definitely a goal.  The problem I see with this is, when you start your 9 days, what happens if you don't make 10 miles in a given day?  The only way to accomplish this goal is to accomplish it beforehand.  You have to hike 9 days with 30 lbs on your back before you ever start that journey.

I'm building a system here.  It's like training for a marathon.  Marathon runners don't actually (I think) run a marathon before the race, but there is a system for preparation.

I've given this a bit more thought since my original post, and I think it's more about "what are you doing today, and every day, to improve, to become a better version of yourself"?

Goals give us direction.  Even if we don't reach them, we're better people for having tried.

I would say my goal is similar to that of m a marathoner.  In order to accomplish my goal I have to put in a system of training.  I don’t live in the mountains so I have to build my leg strength and endurance at low altitudes.  I have to run, lift, hike hills with weight, run stairs etc...and success is not guaranteed the first time, you may need to attempt and then change your training system. 

You’re right most marathoners don’t run a full marathon before but they come very close, and they do it multiple times.

I love your last thought, “"what are you doing today, and every day, to improve, to become a better version of yourself"?” This is a great way to approach everyday!  Just make sure, if you’re a dad, that one of you’re goals/improvements is to become a better dad/husband everyday.
Everyone should have goals in life.  Why people fail at their goals are twofold.  They either made an unrealistic goal or didn’t put in the work to make their goal a reality.   An unrealistic goal would be me playing in the NBA.  I’m 45 years old, short and have no game.  Sure, I can work on my game but this goal of mine has no chance of reality.  Quitting nicotine today is a realistic goal.  All I have to do in not use nicotine, today.  Anybody can do it.  If your goal is realistic then I would ask…

What’s your commitment in making your goals a reality?

Commitment – First, you need a burning desire to reach your goal.  Then you need a system to follow.  You also need to be humble to change your system or ask for help if it is not working. 

Without a 100% commitment you will most likely fail.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on March 08, 2019, 07:33:58 PM
Not sure what's happened to the intro section.  At least in my case, people seem to read, but not comment.  It's kind of sad.

I just made a bold statement that goals are for losers, and then made an argument for adopting systems instead of goals.  Yet, I used goals to support using systems to achieve these goals.

What goals did I list? 
  • Having your natural teeth at age 80.
  • Be healthy.
  • Freedom from nicotine.

Surely you guys are smart enough to challenge me when I do this.

Am I off limits because I've been free from nicotine for 3 years?  I still make a conscience decision to quit every day, just like you.

Feel free to push back.  This is life.  This is important.
I’ll bite... I’ve been around longer than you even ;)

Goals and systems exist for each other. Why have a system to follow when you have no goal? Goals by themselves are just a desired outcome and mean nothing. I can set goals all I want but, so what? It’s just talk. I can follow a system all damn day but without an end result being worked towards it’s just pointless busywork.

Goals really aren’t for losers... you need them to keep moving forward and growing and evolving... BUT... without a system in place to reach it you’re gonna lose and end up trying over and over and...

We hate that here.

Exactly!  I should pause here and credit my "Goals are for Losers" post to Scott Adams (author of Dilbert) in his latest book "How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big", which is a good read, btw.

It kind of follows something that's been with me all of my life: every action you take moves you closer to, or farther from your goals.  The idea of using a defined system came from Scott.

I can look at my life and see the systems I've used to become a better version of myself.  I can't say that I consciously constructed these systems.  They are just habits I've adopted.

The trick with goals is to make them more general, as in "I want to be fit and trim" rather than "I want to lose 50 lbs by this time next year".  Then you can find a system to move you in the right direction, every day.

Sometimes you have to put a time limit on it, which is usually "now".  When you lose your job, for example, or want to quit nicotine.

I like some of the thoughts behind the system approach, but I think for it to work for me it would have to be more specific, so maybe that defeats the point of what you are saying....

Example: I want to be fit and trim, does not work for me. However, I want to be able to walk/run for 10 miles with 30lbs on my back in the mountains and be able to do that for 9 straight days of hunting/hiking by September 1st.
Well, that's definitely a goal.  The problem I see with this is, when you start your 9 days, what happens if you don't make 10 miles in a given day?  The only way to accomplish this goal is to accomplish it beforehand.  You have to hike 9 days with 30 lbs on your back before you ever start that journey.

I'm building a system here.  It's like training for a marathon.  Marathon runners don't actually (I think) run a marathon before the race, but there is a system for preparation.

I've given this a bit more thought since my original post, and I think it's more about "what are you doing today, and every day, to improve, to become a better version of yourself"?

Goals give us direction.  Even if we don't reach them, we're better people for having tried.

I would say my goal is similar to that of m a marathoner.  In order to accomplish my goal I have to put in a system of training.  I don’t live in the mountains so I have to build my leg strength and endurance at low altitudes.  I have to run, lift, hike hills with weight, run stairs etc...and success is not guaranteed the first time, you may need to attempt and then change your training system. 

You’re right most marathoners don’t run a full marathon before but they come very close, and they do it multiple times.

I love your last thought, “"what are you doing today, and every day, to improve, to become a better version of yourself"?” This is a great way to approach everyday!  Just make sure, if you’re a dad, that one of you’re goals/improvements is to become a better dad/husband everyday.
Everyone should have goals in life.  Why people fail at their goals are twofold.  They either made an unrealistic goal or didn’t put in the work to make their goal a reality.   An unrealistic goal would be me playing in the NBA.  I’m 45 years old, short and have no game.  Sure, I can work on my game but this goal of mine has no chance of reality.  Quitting nicotine today is a realistic goal.  All I have to do in not use nicotine, today.  Anybody can do it.  If your goal is realistic then I would ask…

What’s your commitment in making your goals a reality?

Commitment – First, you need a burning desire to reach your goal.  Then you need a system to follow.  You also need to be humble to change your system or ask for help if it is not working. 

Without a 100% commitment you will most likely fail.

Ah Walter, it's been a while! 

Goals need systems.  I think we can agree on that.  Otherwise, they're just dreams.  Of course, a system is something you do on a daily basis.  Otherwise, it's just a book sitting on a shelf.

(Edit:  It appears that I've lost my intro posts from August 2018 to March 2019.  The price of progress.  I'm sure they'll show up again if I ever run for POTUS.)
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on April 01, 2019, 09:10:57 PM
LESSONS FROM QUITTING

Quitting nicotine is difficult.  Some addiction experts state that nicotine is the most difficult addiction to arrest.  I'm not here to debate which addiction has the strongest grip on its addicts, I'm want to shine some light on the bonus benefits of breaking the nicotine addiction.

Bonus #1:  The System
It takes a system to break an addiction.  What is a system?  It's something you do EVERY DAY that ensures you are moving in the direction you want to go. 

The system to quit, to break the nicotine addiction, is to log onto an internet website every day, and make a promise to a bunch of people you've never met that you will not use nicotine today.

Systems work with other areas of your life as well.  Ever read "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People"?  The habits are systems:  Be proactive.  Begin with the end in mind.  etc.  Start each day with "what is the most important issue I need to resolve today?"  That's proactive.  That's a system.

Bonus #2:  Affirmations
Affirmations are short phrases that you repeat often throughout the day.  Repeat them often enough, and they come true.  Our affirmation is "I am quit today."  We make this affirmation in the face of cravings.  This happens often during the first three days of our quit, and more frequently than we'd like during the next 97 days.  Cravings taper off after that, but it helps to maintain the affirmations at least a couple of times a day for the next year or two - until you get past PAWS.

Affirmations work for other areas of life too.  If you want to be more patient with other people, make the affirmation "I am calm and patient with people who need my help" ten or twelve times a day.  Write this down if it helps.  You will be amazed at how much more patient you are with people after a couple of weeks.  To be effective, affirmations must state the situation that you want as if you're already there.  "I am quit".

I'm done for today.  Check back later for more, or feel free to add to this list.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on May 09, 2019, 04:55:26 PM
THE PAST DOESN’T EXIST


Facts are less important than you think


What’s important is what happens next.  It is far less important what has already happened.

The past doesn’t exist.  It’s only in our minds.

So, what does exist?  Our imagination, let’s work with that.  Will it help if we imagine a better future for ourselves?

For those of you on day one, you are not a nicotine user.  You declared “I am quit”, and that is your present.  You imagine yourself waking up tomorrow and declaring “I am quit today!”  That is your future.  It doesn’t exist either, but unlike the past, it will.

When you get that craving for nicotine, your imagination kicks in.  Do you imagine your stress level rising to the point that you go crazy if you don’t use nicotine, or do you imagine yourself on the other side of the craving saying “I am still quit!”?  That’s the battle that’s waged in the present to shape your future.

You can’t shape the past because it doesn’t exist.  Focus your life on shaping your future because it will exist, and you can change the shape of the future by what you do in the present.

This works for everything in life.  Fortunately, you are in an intense battle for freedom that will teach you life lessons - if you pay attention. 

For more on this:   Positive Thinking  (https://youtu.be/EQHI9CV-EdU)


Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on June 13, 2019, 08:57:45 PM
I share stuff that I find on the internet on my Twitter and Facebook feeds from time to time.  This one is worth sharing everywhere.

Something to ponder.  Don't try to consume this in one sitting.  Oh, and it's not really about getting rich.  More about enriching your life.

https://nav.al/
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: Athan on June 15, 2019, 06:47:37 AM
I share stuff that I find on the internet on my Twitter and Facebook feeds from time to time.  This one is worth sharing everywhere.

Something to ponder.  Don't try to consume this in one sitting.  Oh, and it's not really about getting rich.  More about enriching your life.

https://nav.al/
It is a lot, like you said, not all at one sitting.  Rather enjoyed it so far as I've found a few gems in it already. If knowledge truly is power - that's really powerful stuff. The argument re: makers and takers struck a chord as did his lesson on status and those deceitfully maneuvering for it. We see a lot of it in today's political games - he just defines it well here. Thanks for rolling that out.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on July 25, 2019, 08:41:15 PM
I'm going to bump my own thread, out of pure selfishness.  I think there's a lot of experience here to draw upon, and I still come here to recall the suffering of the early days and my reaction to it.  I want to keep it near the top of the introductions.

I will say that conquering my addiction has taught me that I am capable of more than I ever imagined.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on August 31, 2019, 09:35:36 PM
Another shameless bump.  If you are new here, start here. (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?topic=805.msg125916#msg125916)  That's a link.  Click it.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: Athan on September 01, 2019, 09:59:29 PM
Wildirish is free
No more a slave don’t you see
My friend walks with me
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on September 20, 2019, 08:43:52 PM
Something worth watching, addict or not....

https://youtu.be/aMcjxSThD54
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: FLLipOut on September 20, 2019, 09:29:46 PM
Something worth watching, addict or not....

https://youtu.be/aMcjxSThD54
I have devoured everything I could find on/from Jordan Peterson over the past year.  He is so brilliant...and thoughtful people everywhere should watch his videos and read his books!

Lobsters rule!
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on September 24, 2019, 08:58:56 PM
Something worth watching, addict or not....

https://youtu.be/aMcjxSThD54
I have devoured everything I could find on/from Jordan Peterson over the past year.  He is so brilliant...and thoughtful people everywhere should watch his videos and read his books!

Lobsters rule!
You are one of my favorite quitters.  A lobster for sure!  Nothing gets you down!  If KTC is looking for a definition of support, they just need to look at your post history. 

Thank you Patty!
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: DonkeyMN on September 25, 2019, 03:46:33 PM
I sincerely hope that he recovers from his addiction and gets back to advising people of the overburdening BS in the world, where the whaambulance left cannot put forth a coherent argument.

The world needs this guy, maybe now more than ever.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on February 14, 2020, 06:55:46 PM
Spend the next 10 minutes of your life watching this video:

https://youtu.be/GMiuA0tYshw

Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: Athan on February 14, 2020, 07:12:51 PM
Spend the next 10 minutes of your life watching this video:

https://youtu.be/GMiuA0tYshw
Very cool!  I didn't know you were bald too!  I love you even more!!!!
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: FLLipOut on February 14, 2020, 07:48:52 PM
Spend the next 10 minutes of your life watching this video:

https://youtu.be/GMiuA0tYshw
Very cool!  I didn't know you were bald too!  I love you even more!!!!

Definitely something to chew on. 
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on February 16, 2020, 06:34:09 PM
Spend the next 10 minutes of your life watching this video:

https://youtu.be/GMiuA0tYshw
Very cool!  I didn't know you were bald too!  I love you even more!!!!

Ha!  That's Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert.  I have hair, albeit it's a silver shade of blonde.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on April 13, 2020, 08:48:43 PM
Day 1510 - My latest dip dream.

Last night I had a dream.  Unlike previous dip dreams, this was not about the act of putting nicotine in my body.  This was about the betrayal.

At the start of the dream, I had already been using for a few days, while putting forth the image that I was still quit.  I was at a crossroads.  How much longer should I go on with this charade?

Holy fock!  The dream faded, as all dreams do, but the feeling of betrayal, mainly to those with whom I share daily texts, lingered.  We are not safe, never will be.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: Athan on April 16, 2020, 03:24:42 AM
Day 1510 - My latest dip dream.

Last night I had a dream.  Unlike previous dip dreams, this was not about the act of putting nicotine in my body.  This was about the betrayal.

At the start of the dream, I had already been using for a few days, while putting forth the image that I was still quit.  I was at a crossroads.  How much longer should I go on with this charade?

Holy fock!  The dream faded, as all dreams do, but the feeling of betrayal, mainly to those with whom I share daily texts, lingered.  We are not safe, never will be.
That boy in October '18 (fitz?) did that. Was popping lippers for months and posting roll before his conscience ate a hole through his soul. I remember thinking then that it read like a bad dream. If they're good for anything, they're like to ghost of Christmas yet to come showing us things that may be. I don't ever want to be there.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on April 18, 2020, 09:33:39 PM
Day 1510 - My latest dip dream.

Last night I had a dream.  Unlike previous dip dreams, this was not about the act of putting nicotine in my body.  This was about the betrayal.

At the start of the dream, I had already been using for a few days, while putting forth the image that I was still quit.  I was at a crossroads.  How much longer should I go on with this charade?

Holy fock!  The dream faded, as all dreams do, but the feeling of betrayal, mainly to those with whom I share daily texts, lingered.  We are not safe, never will be.
That boy in October '18 (fitz?) did that. Was popping lippers for months and posting roll before his conscience ate a hole through his soul. I remember thinking then that it read like a bad dream. If they're good for anything, they're like to ghost of Christmas yet to come showing us things that may be. I don't ever want to be there.
Me neither, brother.  The dream was a nightmare!  They say that, after 5 years, relapse is rare.  I'm on track to get there, but I know I can quit for a day.  That day is today.
Title: Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
Post by: wildirish317 on February 04, 2021, 09:12:21 PM
Getting to - "Not thinking about it anymore" - day 134ish

I've read several posts, on several quit groups, where people say they've stopped posting roll because they only think about nic when they post roll. They don't want to think about nicotine anymore.

I think about nicotine every time I visit this site. In fact, I visit this site because I want to think about nicotine. I am an obsessive personality, and I'm currently obsessed with nicotine. That's why I've researched it so much, and shared most of this research in my intro thread. They say that PAWs lasts for two years. They say that, after five years, relapse is rare. After 38 years of tobacco use, 5 years is a small period of time.

There you go. I want to keep that bitch in front of me, where I can see it until my chance of relapse is rare. I've had too many times in the past 100 days that, if I didn't start the day by finding that bitch and keeping her in front of me, she would've snuck up behind me and crawled up my ass.

Not thinking about nicotine is for people who've never used nicotine. We threw that option away with the first dip or drag on a cigarette. We are addicts, and cannot become un-addicted.


I'm closing in on five years of freedom from nicotine.  I want to revisit this post because it's stuck with me this long.  This post was 1673 days ago.  Seems like last week.

I don't think about nicotine much anymore.  I still post roll every day.  I had a dip dream a couple of weeks ago.  It didn't affect me at all.  No emotional reaction.  I had stuffed my lip with dip, and some young girl was trying to kiss me, and I was trying to figure out how to hide the dip from her.  No shame, no remorse, just a strange dream of me doing something (two things actually) that I will never do: have a "twenty something" on my lap kissing me, and having dip in my mouth.

I didn't even wake up.  I went on to another dream.

After almost five years, I don't crave nicotine.  I don't think about it much.  Posting roll doesn't make me think about nicotine.

I'm not cured.  I'm an addict.  I post roll every day because I'm an addict.  I'm addicted to posting roll.  I'm addicted to texting a few quit brothers every morning.  I'm addicted to being free from nicotine.

Choose your addictions, just don't choose nicotine.  That's why you're here.
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on February 25, 2021, 08:48:19 PM
They say that, after 5 years, relapse is rare.  It was almost 5 years ago that I read that.  Now I'm here, 5 years quit, 5 years free.

I've learned a lot.  Learned a lot about addiction.  Learned a lot about myself.

Quitting nicotine opened a door for me to expand into my future.  I was turning 56.  Now I'm turning 61.  I weigh close to the same as when I graduated high school.  I'm in the best physical shape of my life.  I've started a business.  My world is expanding.

I've left nicotine behind.  I no longer think about it.  I'm focused on where I want to be next.

My lesson to you:  Focus on where you want to be, where you are going.  If you are still alive, you're going somewhere.  Where?
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: nick-Otine Free on February 26, 2021, 08:11:34 AM
They say that, after 5 years, relapse is rare.  It was almost 5 years ago that I read that.  Now I'm here, 5 years quit, 5 years free.

I've learned a lot.  Learned a lot about addiction.  Learned a lot about myself.

Quitting nicotine opened a door for me to expand into my future.  I was turning 56.  Now I'm turning 61.  I weigh close to the same as when I graduated high school.  I'm in the best physical shape of my life.  I've started a business.  My world is expanding.

I've left nicotine behind.  I no longer think about it.  I'm focused on where I want to be next.

My lesson to you:  Focus on where you want to be, where you are going.  If you are still alive, you're going somewhere.  Where?
'Have a beer' Raising a Glass to 5 years and a Badass quitter! Congratulations friend!
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: Keith0617 on February 26, 2021, 08:56:19 AM
They say that, after 5 years, relapse is rare.  It was almost 5 years ago that I read that.  Now I'm here, 5 years quit, 5 years free.

I've learned a lot.  Learned a lot about addiction.  Learned a lot about myself.

Quitting nicotine opened a door for me to expand into my future.  I was turning 56.  Now I'm turning 61.  I weigh close to the same as when I graduated high school.  I'm in the best physical shape of my life.  I've started a business.  My world is expanding.

I've left nicotine behind.  I no longer think about it.  I'm focused on where I want to be next.

My lesson to you:  Focus on where you want to be, where you are going.  If you are still alive, you're going somewhere.  Where?
Congrats brother
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: Aggies94 on February 26, 2021, 12:47:59 PM
They say that, after 5 years, relapse is rare.  It was almost 5 years ago that I read that.  Now I'm here, 5 years quit, 5 years free.

I've learned a lot.  Learned a lot about addiction.  Learned a lot about myself.

Quitting nicotine opened a door for me to expand into my future.  I was turning 56.  Now I'm turning 61.  I weigh close to the same as when I graduated high school.  I'm in the best physical shape of my life.  I've started a business.  My world is expanding.

I've left nicotine behind.  I no longer think about it.  I'm focused on where I want to be next.

My lesson to you:  Focus on where you want to be, where you are going.  If you are still alive, you're going somewhere.  Where?
Congrats, bud!
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: 69franx on February 26, 2021, 01:15:15 PM
They say that, after 5 years, relapse is rare.  It was almost 5 years ago that I read that.  Now I'm here, 5 years quit, 5 years free.

I've learned a lot.  Learned a lot about addiction.  Learned a lot about myself.

Quitting nicotine opened a door for me to expand into my future.  I was turning 56.  Now I'm turning 61.  I weigh close to the same as when I graduated high school.  I'm in the best physical shape of my life.  I've started a business.  My world is expanding.

I've left nicotine behind.  I no longer think about it.  I'm focused on where I want to be next.

My lesson to you:  Focus on where you want to be, where you are going.  If you are still alive, you're going somewhere.  Where?
Congrats, bud!
Congrats brother!
Title: Re: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)
Post by: wildirish317 on September 05, 2021, 08:41:34 PM
Beliefs

Beliefs are simply thoughts that we keep repeating to ourselves.  Keep thinking that you are done with nicotine and you are done with nicotine.  It's that simple.  Next time you get a crave, think "I'm done with nicotine."  Buy some sunflower seeds or sour Jolly Ranchers and suck the hell out of them!!!

You're done with nicotine!!!