Author Topic: Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)  (Read 67523 times)

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Offline Rawls

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Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
« Reply #58 on: March 10, 2016, 09:44:00 AM »
Quote from: wildirish317
Okay guys and girls, I've been hung up on these three questions. The vets are saying that none of the caves have given good answers, and I began to wonder what good answers look like. I've tried searching other groups for good answers but, omg, you think we have drama.....

So I'm going to throw this out there, for discussion, bashing, or just plain lulz:

1. What happened? This can be rephrased as "How did you set yourself up for failure?". When you cave, you build the scenario in which it is very easy to say "yes" to nicotine. The answer to this question sets up the answer to the next question.

2. Why did it happen? Depending on the addict, you can set yourself up for failure 10 times before you actually cave. The key word here is addict. The short answer is "I'm an addict, that's what addicts do." The long answer is much more complicated, and different for every cave. The answer to this question is the key to getting back on the quit. However, you can't get here without answering the first question first.

Being addicted to nicotine is like having a pipeline to your body, with a valve that is "normally open". Nicotine flows through this valve and into your body unless you consciously or unconsciously keep this valve shut. When you cave, you make a decision, at that particular moment, to let go of the valve.

So the answer to "why" is not "what made you do it?", it's "why did you let go of the valve?" "why did you decide, at that particular moment, not to be quit?" Don't look outside yourself for this answer. Shite happens to all of us. It's how we decide to react to this shite that makes us who we are.

We are addicts. We have to study addiction and addicts to know how to answer this question.

3. How are you going to keep it from happening again? Once you get past the second question, and understand your answer and your addiction, this one is pretty easy. Look at the tools you have at your disposal. Find out what other tools are out there that may be used. Figure out where you are most vulnerable, make plans not to make yourself vulnerable, and have an escape route when you find yourself vulnerable. That's the general answer. The specific answer for each cave must be tailored to each individual.

We are all just one bad, weak decision away from caving. This is addiction. This is serious.
Well said Irishman.
It is serious.
Like many decisions one can make in his or her life.
Some kill.. Some save!
Im going for being Saved....EDD ODAAT.
Rawls 489
I believe.....

Offline wildirish317

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Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
« Reply #57 on: March 10, 2016, 08:14:00 AM »
The Three Questions

Now that I've been here 33 days, I've noticed a few more cavers, and my understanding of caving has increased proportionally. (For those of you who are wondering, I'm not preparing my own cave, I'm digging my "quit hole" a bit deeper, and hoping to help some of the cavers understand why the wheels fell off their quit.)

So, after you cave, you come back here, and are presented with the demand to answer the "three questions". Before you do that, you should answer one question for yourself: "Why the fock are you here, knowing how much shite you are going to face for caving?" I can't help you answer this one. You know why you're here, and what you are going to face.

However, knowing that the general gist of your answer is that you need this place in order to quit, I suggest that you take an attitude of humble receptiveness in your re-assimilation into KTC. You are going to give answers to the "three questions". More likely than not, some of your answers will be questioned. Do not take offense at this (even when offense is intended). Most of us addicts can sniff out an addicts lie or misrepresentation, and we will be all over it. So consider the merits of each question. Search yourself for vulnerabilities, and shore them up.

Now that you have "humbled yourself up", here are some reflections that may help you answer the three questions:

1. What happened? This can be rephrased as "How did you set yourself up for failure?". When you cave, you build the scenario in which it is very easy to say "yes" to nicotine. The answer to this question sets up the answer to the next question.

2. Why did it happen? Depending on the addict, you can set yourself up for failure 10 times before you actually cave. The key word here is addict. The short answer is "I'm an addict, that's what addicts do." The long answer is much more complicated, and different for every cave. The answer to this question is the key to getting back on the quit. However, you can't get here without answering the first question first.

Being addicted to nicotine is like having a pipeline to your body, with a valve that is "normally open". Nicotine flows through this valve and into your body unless you consciously or unconsciously keep this valve shut. When you cave, you make a decision, at that particular moment, to let go of the valve.

So the answer to "why" is not "what made you do it?", it's "why did you let go of the valve?" "why did you decide, at that particular moment, not to be quit?" Don't look outside yourself for this answer. Shite happens to all of us. It's how we decide to react to this shite that makes us who we are.

We are addicts. We have to study addiction and addicts to know how to answer this question.

3. How are you going to keep it from happening again? Once you get past the second question, and understand your answer and your addiction, this one is pretty easy. Look at the tools you have at your disposal. Find out what other tools are out there that may be used. Figure out where you are most vulnerable, make plans not to make yourself vulnerable, and have an escape route when you find yourself vulnerable. That's the general answer. The specific answer for each cave must be tailored to each individual.

We are all just one bad, weak decision away from caving. This is addiction. This is serious.
“Everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of helping someone else, everything". - Danny Trejo

Offline DeskJockey

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Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
« Reply #56 on: March 08, 2016, 11:18:00 PM »
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: wildirish317
I realize that I have not been nicotine free for any of my adult life.
Helluva realization, isn't it? I quit when I was 44, so you have a few years on me, but I had the same thought. I had my first taste of chew (Levi Garrett) when I was 14 years old. I sure wish I'd have said "No, thanks" then, and forever. But, as we can't change the past, I figure this is the next best thing.

Stay strong, and stay quit!

Offline wildirish317

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Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
« Reply #55 on: March 08, 2016, 09:22:00 AM »
Digging a quit hole.

Okay, day #13 quit. The suck is gone, and the mind games are here. If I see anything round out of the corner of my eye, it's a can of cope. As I type this, there's a focking rubber band just in the corner of my vision. It becomes a can of Copenhagen. They said there'd be days like this.

A couple of observations I've made in this short journey:

The first one is that I'm an addict. This realization hit me during the suck, and it hit hard. I came to this site to quit, but I wasn't an addict. I wasn't addicted to nicotine, no way. I just had a strong habit that I needed to break. Now I'm a focking addict. I really hate that about myself, but I have to learn to live with it. I can't change the color of my skin, and I can't get rid of this addiction.

The second one is that I need you, all of you. I figured I could just come and post roll every day for 100 days, and then leave. I didn't need other people's phone numbers, I'm not going to cave, I'm not going to need anyone. Hah! If you're serious about your quit (and I am), then you need your brothers for support. At some point, I'm going to reach out for help. I have peoples' digits. I also reach out to others in my group that may need help. I know how hard this is for me. It's just as hard for everyone else.

Another thing I've learned is that you have to be serious to quit. That's kind of a given, once you realize you're an addict. Addiction is serious stuff.

I've also dug myself a pretty deep "quit hole". I've expressed my $.02 on a lot of topics, and become an administrator for the accountability spreadsheet. If I cave, not only will I be breaking a promise to me and all of you, I will be the biggest hypocrite this site has ever seen.

Quit on, brothers and sisters, quit on!
“Everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of helping someone else, everything". - Danny Trejo

Offline wildirish317

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Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
« Reply #54 on: March 06, 2016, 09:28:00 PM »
Day 11. Not much different. Not as dizzy today.

Had to snatch this quote from ChickDip. It has a lot of resources that I may want to pass on. I can always find it here.
Quote from: ChickDip
How to post roll video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBoCAii ... e=youtu.be

or how to post roll from written directions
topic/1003072/1/

New Quitter Hints and Helps

http://www.killthecan.org/heres-how-you ... court-now/
“Everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of helping someone else, everything". - Danny Trejo

Offline wildirish317

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Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
« Reply #53 on: March 04, 2016, 04:06:00 PM »
Okay, day 9. I had my first triggers today. I didn't think I'd have any because I dipped all the time I was awake for 38 years.

I was helping my son in law move. During the course of loading the truck, I really wished I had a dip. Then I thought about it. If someone offered me a dip right then, would I have caved? No. After 38 years, I don't want to dip any more. It's that simple. Not easy, but simple.

So anyway, I'm going to have triggers. That's a fact. They'll probably hit when I do things that are out of routine, like during a fishing trip, or while I'm working on my car. When they happen, I will face off with them and deal with them.

I quit with you guys again today.
“Everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of helping someone else, everything". - Danny Trejo

Offline wildirish317

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Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
« Reply #52 on: March 03, 2016, 10:29:00 PM »
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
I know you've probably heard all this but exercise will sweat out the poison a little faster, keep you occupied and raise your dopamine levels.

This is pretty good, too. Same guy. Know thy enemy!
Exercise, yes, I've been on a strength training program with Mrs. Irish for the past year. Four routines, four sets of ten reps each, one second up, 3-5 seconds down, choose a weight where you cannot finish the fourth set. Holy fock! 30 minutes of pure hell, 3 days/week.

Your links are spot on! Reading them, I realize that I have not been nicotine free for any of my adult life. What a focking waste.
“Everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of helping someone else, everything". - Danny Trejo

Offline copingwithoutcopen

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Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
« Reply #51 on: March 03, 2016, 07:58:00 PM »
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: wildirish317
Okay, starting week #2. I'm nicotine free for the first time in I don't know how many years.

CleanFuel claims it takes about 200 days for the brain to rewire itself. Fock. I'm not going to dwell on this. I'm just going to focus on today. That's all I've got to work with.
We did a lot of damage to ourselves over the years. It's gonna take some time, brudda. Odaat. You should feel a little better each day, though. Just when the physical symptoms begin to subside, there's a psychological aspect that tries to lower your resolve but we fight through. We don't quit the quit. You just gotta show up each day. Forget about tomorrow.

I know you've probably heard all this but exercise will sweat out the poison a little faster, keep you occupied and raise your dopamine levels. Hydrate like you're never gonna see water again to reduce headaches. Trident gum gives your mouth something to do, freshens your dank breath and doesn't have any caffeine.

I found this article a great read early on...
http://whyquit.com/whyquit/A_Symptoms.html
Goo stuff. Quit on!
http://whyquit.com/whyquit/LinksAAddiction.html

This is pretty good, too. Same guy. Know thy enemy!

Offline copingwithoutcopen

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Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
« Reply #50 on: March 03, 2016, 07:52:00 PM »
Quote from: wildirish317
Okay, starting week #2. I'm nicotine free for the first time in I don't know how many years.

CleanFuel claims it takes about 200 days for the brain to rewire itself. Fock. I'm not going to dwell on this. I'm just going to focus on today. That's all I've got to work with.
We did a lot of damage to ourselves over the years. It's gonna take some time, brudda. Odaat. You should feel a little better each day, though. Just when the physical symptoms begin to subside, there's a psychological aspect that tries to lower your resolve but we fight through. We don't quit the quit. You just gotta show up each day. Forget about tomorrow.

I know you've probably heard all this but exercise will sweat out the poison a little faster, keep you occupied and raise your dopamine levels. Hydrate like you're never gonna see water again to reduce headaches. Trident gum gives your mouth something to do, freshens your dank breath and doesn't have any caffeine.

I found this article a great read early on...
http://whyquit.com/whyquit/A_Symptoms.html
Goo stuff. Quit on!

Offline wildirish317

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Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
« Reply #49 on: March 03, 2016, 04:46:00 PM »
Okay, starting week #2. I'm nicotine free for the first time in I don't know how many years.

CleanFuel claims it takes about 200 days for the brain to rewire itself. Fock. I'm not going to dwell on this. I'm just going to focus on today. That's all I've got to work with.
“Everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of helping someone else, everything". - Danny Trejo

Offline worktowin

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Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
« Reply #48 on: February 26, 2016, 10:33:00 PM »
Quote from: wildirish317
Quote from: DeskJockey
Good introductory posts, wildirish! I'm a 30-year chewer and dipper and can relate to learning not to spit and also going through "only" two cans per week. Lots of guys here say they did that in a day, and I don't see how, unless they kept spitting out one dip and putting another one in every ten or fifteen minutes. I'd put in a dip and leave it for an hour or two!

Glad you're here. You can do this. The quitting fog will be around for a while, and if you're like me, you'll have mysterious aches and pains as well, but keep up the good fight and you'll be over the hardest part before you know it!
Thanks man. I told Mrs. Irish that she will have to put up with my irritability this weekend.

Which, btw, I'm glad it's the weekend. A lot of people are posting on my roll call to be wary of the weekend, but I need to be away from work to do this. I certainly don't want to lash out at people, and I almost came home "sick" today just to take a nap.
I was on bp meds, Lipitor, and type 2 diabetes meds when I quit.

They are all in the trash now. Nicotine can fuck off.

Not taking meds is great. Feeling 20 years younger is great. Not being terrified every time my lip hurt is great. Saving money is great. Not hiding and lying is great.

But dude, the sense of freedom from not, consciously or unconsciously, planning damn near every minute around making sure my blood nicotine levels were satisfied... Is not something that I or any other quitter can adequately put into words. Right now you are an angry addict fighting hard. I promise you, scouts honor, that there is a sense of pride and peace ahead that you are not anticipating and can not imagine.

Welcome to Ktc. Posting is not easy or intuitive as you've discovered. If you mess up roll - someone will fix it. You'll get better at it. In the meantime, just focus on today. Very very very bright days are ahead. If I can help at all - shoot me a pm

-w2w

Offline wildirish317

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Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
« Reply #47 on: February 26, 2016, 07:49:00 PM »
Quote from: DeskJockey
Good introductory posts, wildirish! I'm a 30-year chewer and dipper and can relate to learning not to spit and also going through "only" two cans per week. Lots of guys here say they did that in a day, and I don't see how, unless they kept spitting out one dip and putting another one in every ten or fifteen minutes. I'd put in a dip and leave it for an hour or two!

Glad you're here. You can do this. The quitting fog will be around for a while, and if you're like me, you'll have mysterious aches and pains as well, but keep up the good fight and you'll be over the hardest part before you know it!
Thanks man. I told Mrs. Irish that she will have to put up with my irritability this weekend.

Which, btw, I'm glad it's the weekend. A lot of people are posting on my roll call to be wary of the weekend, but I need to be away from work to do this. I certainly don't want to lash out at people, and I almost came home "sick" today just to take a nap.
“Everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of helping someone else, everything". - Danny Trejo

Offline DeskJockey

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Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
« Reply #46 on: February 26, 2016, 07:35:00 PM »
Good introductory posts, wildirish! I'm a 30-year chewer and dipper and can relate to learning not to spit and also going through "only" two cans per week. Lots of guys here say they did that in a day, and I don't see how, unless they kept spitting out one dip and putting another one in every ten or fifteen minutes. I'd put in a dip and leave it for an hour or two!

Glad you're here. You can do this. The quitting fog will be around for a while, and if you're like me, you'll have mysterious aches and pains as well, but keep up the good fight and you'll be over the hardest part before you know it!

Offline wildirish317

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Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
« Reply #45 on: February 26, 2016, 11:44:00 AM »
Quote from: Nomore1959
Seems were roughly the same age. Your quit will do wonders for bp with bonus help on cholesterol numbers -- my quit has. On the roll post, "cut" then leave the lower box empty. That too gets easier over time.
Thanks. Once you figure out what you're doing with the roll, it's pretty self explanatory. Funny how some things can't really be explained, they have to be experienced.

I'm in a pretty hazy withdrawal fog today, so if I type something that doesn't make sense, call me out on it and I'll go back and edit it.
“Everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of helping someone else, everything". - Danny Trejo

Offline Cope30

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Re: Today, I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again
« Reply #44 on: February 26, 2016, 09:21:00 AM »
Quote from: wildirish317
Hi all. I'll be 56 years old in less than a month. I've been chewing tobacco products since I was 18. When in college, I learned not to spit so I could chew while in class. I've switched back and forth between loose leaf and the can throughout the years, depending on the cost of the product. At last count, I was going through 2 cans per week. That may not sound like a lot, but remember, I wasn't wasting any nicotine.

So, why do I want to quit at this stage of life? That's a good question, and it boils down to health in general and blood pressure in particular.

A year and a half ago, my wife, worried about muscular atrophy in people 50+ years old, got us involved in a strength training routine. I noticed myself getting slimmer and trimmer and stronger at the same time. Now, I'm about as healthy as I can be except for my blood pressure, which is not quite high enough to take medication. I don't take medication, except for the occasional infection, and I don't want to spend my final days taking pills every day.

Doing a little research, I found three things I consume that will raise a person's blood pressure: nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol. I'm addicted to all three. I'm not an alcoholic, but I drink more than I should on a daily basis.

I decided to take these addictions on one at a time. Nicotine is first. The mother of all addictive substances. I decided to give it up for Lent, figuring if I can make it 40 days, then I'm home free. I made it through Ash Wednesday and the following Thursday and Friday. I went through all of the shite we go through in the first three days and was really, extremely, irritable. I caved on Saturday, telling myself that I can wean myself off this stuff. I've been weaning myself since then, and it's not working.

So here I am. I quit today. I can make it through today. Tomorrow's another day, and I'll have to quit again. I know I can't do this alone. I need help. That's why I'm here.
Congrats on the quit. The BROTHERHOOD is behind you in this fight. Exchange some digits with your group or who ever, it will help you when you need to rant at some point in your Quit
I quit with you today.
2 Timothy 1:7 - For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.


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4th Floor 9-19-16
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http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11504909/

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