Today I quit. Tomorrow, I'll quit again. (A journey through one man's recovery)

[wildirish317]

Beliefs

Beliefs are simply thoughts that we keep repeating to ourselves.  Keep thinking that you are done with nicotine and you are done with nicotine.  It's that simple.  Next time you get a crave, think "I'm done with nicotine."  Buy some sunflower seeds or sour Jolly Ranchers and suck the hell out of them!!!

You're done with nicotine!!!

[69franx]

They say that, after 5 years, relapse is rare.  It was almost 5 years ago that I read that.  Now I'm here, 5 years quit, 5 years free.

I've learned a lot.  Learned a lot about addiction.  Learned a lot about myself.

Quitting nicotine opened a door for me to expand into my future.  I was turning 56.  Now I'm turning 61.  I weigh close to the same as when I graduated high school.  I'm in the best physical shape of my life.  I've started a business.  My world is expanding.

I've left nicotine behind.  I no longer think about it.  I'm focused on where I want to be next.

My lesson to you:  Focus on where you want to be, where you are going.  If you are still alive, you're going somewhere.  Where?

Congrats, bud!

Congrats brother!

[Aggies94]

They say that, after 5 years, relapse is rare.  It was almost 5 years ago that I read that.  Now I'm here, 5 years quit, 5 years free.

I've learned a lot.  Learned a lot about addiction.  Learned a lot about myself.

Quitting nicotine opened a door for me to expand into my future.  I was turning 56.  Now I'm turning 61.  I weigh close to the same as when I graduated high school.  I'm in the best physical shape of my life.  I've started a business.  My world is expanding.

I've left nicotine behind.  I no longer think about it.  I'm focused on where I want to be next.

My lesson to you:  Focus on where you want to be, where you are going.  If you are still alive, you're going somewhere.  Where?

Congrats, bud!

[Keith0617]

They say that, after 5 years, relapse is rare.  It was almost 5 years ago that I read that.  Now I'm here, 5 years quit, 5 years free.

I've learned a lot.  Learned a lot about addiction.  Learned a lot about myself.

Quitting nicotine opened a door for me to expand into my future.  I was turning 56.  Now I'm turning 61.  I weigh close to the same as when I graduated high school.  I'm in the best physical shape of my life.  I've started a business.  My world is expanding.

I've left nicotine behind.  I no longer think about it.  I'm focused on where I want to be next.

My lesson to you:  Focus on where you want to be, where you are going.  If you are still alive, you're going somewhere.  Where?

Congrats brother

[nick-Otine Free]

They say that, after 5 years, relapse is rare.  It was almost 5 years ago that I read that.  Now I'm here, 5 years quit, 5 years free.

I've learned a lot.  Learned a lot about addiction.  Learned a lot about myself.

Quitting nicotine opened a door for me to expand into my future.  I was turning 56.  Now I'm turning 61.  I weigh close to the same as when I graduated high school.  I'm in the best physical shape of my life.  I've started a business.  My world is expanding.

I've left nicotine behind.  I no longer think about it.  I'm focused on where I want to be next.

My lesson to you:  Focus on where you want to be, where you are going.  If you are still alive, you're going somewhere.  Where?

Raising a Glass to 5 years and a Badass quitter! Congratulations friend!

[wildirish317]

They say that, after 5 years, relapse is rare.  It was almost 5 years ago that I read that.  Now I'm here, 5 years quit, 5 years free.

I've learned a lot.  Learned a lot about addiction.  Learned a lot about myself.

Quitting nicotine opened a door for me to expand into my future.  I was turning 56.  Now I'm turning 61.  I weigh close to the same as when I graduated high school.  I'm in the best physical shape of my life.  I've started a business.  My world is expanding.

I've left nicotine behind.  I no longer think about it.  I'm focused on where I want to be next.

My lesson to you:  Focus on where you want to be, where you are going.  If you are still alive, you're going somewhere.  Where?

[wildirish317]

Getting to - "Not thinking about it anymore" - day 134ish

I've read several posts, on several quit groups, where people say they've stopped posting roll because they only think about nic when they post roll. They don't want to think about nicotine anymore.

I think about nicotine every time I visit this site. In fact, I visit this site because I want to think about nicotine. I am an obsessive personality, and I'm currently obsessed with nicotine. That's why I've researched it so much, and shared most of this research in my intro thread. They say that PAWs lasts for two years. They say that, after five years, relapse is rare. After 38 years of tobacco use, 5 years is a small period of time.

There you go. I want to keep that bitch in front of me, where I can see it until my chance of relapse is rare. I've had too many times in the past 100 days that, if I didn't start the day by finding that bitch and keeping her in front of me, she would've snuck up behind me and crawled up my ass.

Not thinking about nicotine is for people who've never used nicotine. We threw that option away with the first dip or drag on a cigarette. We are addicts, and cannot become un-addicted.

I'm closing in on five years of freedom from nicotine.  I want to revisit this post because it's stuck with me this long.  This post was 1673 days ago.  Seems like last week.

I don't think about nicotine much anymore.  I still post roll every day.  I had a dip dream a couple of weeks ago.  It didn't affect me at all.  No emotional reaction.  I had stuffed my lip with dip, and some young girl was trying to kiss me, and I was trying to figure out how to hide the dip from her.  No shame, no remorse, just a strange dream of me doing something (two things actually) that I will never do: have a "twenty something" on my lap kissing me, and having dip in my mouth.

I didn't even wake up.  I went on to another dream.

After almost five years, I don't crave nicotine.  I don't think about it much.  Posting roll doesn't make me think about nicotine.

I'm not cured.  I'm an addict.  I post roll every day because I'm an addict.  I'm addicted to posting roll.  I'm addicted to texting a few quit brothers every morning.  I'm addicted to being free from nicotine.

Choose your addictions, just don't choose nicotine.  That's why you're here.

[wildirish317]

Day 1510 - My latest dip dream.

Last night I had a dream.  Unlike previous dip dreams, this was not about the act of putting nicotine in my body.  This was about the betrayal.

At the start of the dream, I had already been using for a few days, while putting forth the image that I was still quit.  I was at a crossroads.  How much longer should I go on with this charade?

Holy fock!  The dream faded, as all dreams do, but the feeling of betrayal, mainly to those with whom I share daily texts, lingered.  We are not safe, never will be.

That boy in October '18 (fitz?) did that. Was popping lippers for months and posting roll before his conscience ate a hole through his soul. I remember thinking then that it read like a bad dream. If they're good for anything, they're like to ghost of Christmas yet to come showing us things that may be. I don't ever want to be there.

Me neither, brother.  The dream was a nightmare!  They say that, after 5 years, relapse is rare.  I'm on track to get there, but I know I can quit for a day.  That day is today.

[Athan]

Day 1510 - My latest dip dream.

Last night I had a dream.  Unlike previous dip dreams, this was not about the act of putting nicotine in my body.  This was about the betrayal.

At the start of the dream, I had already been using for a few days, while putting forth the image that I was still quit.  I was at a crossroads.  How much longer should I go on with this charade?

Holy fock!  The dream faded, as all dreams do, but the feeling of betrayal, mainly to those with whom I share daily texts, lingered.  We are not safe, never will be.

That boy in October '18 (fitz?) did that. Was popping lippers for months and posting roll before his conscience ate a hole through his soul. I remember thinking then that it read like a bad dream. If they're good for anything, they're like to ghost of Christmas yet to come showing us things that may be. I don't ever want to be there.

[wildirish317]

Day 1510 - My latest dip dream.

Last night I had a dream.  Unlike previous dip dreams, this was not about the act of putting nicotine in my body.  This was about the betrayal.

At the start of the dream, I had already been using for a few days, while putting forth the image that I was still quit.  I was at a crossroads.  How much longer should I go on with this charade?

Holy fock!  The dream faded, as all dreams do, but the feeling of betrayal, mainly to those with whom I share daily texts, lingered.  We are not safe, never will be.

[wildirish317]

Spend the next 10 minutes of your life watching this video:

https://youtu.be/GMiuA0tYshw

Very cool!  I didn't know you were bald too!  I love you even more!!!!

Ha!  That's Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert.  I have hair, albeit it's a silver shade of blonde.

[FLLipOut]

Spend the next 10 minutes of your life watching this video:

https://youtu.be/GMiuA0tYshw

Very cool!  I didn't know you were bald too!  I love you even more!!!!

Definitely something to chew on. 

[Athan]

Spend the next 10 minutes of your life watching this video:

https://youtu.be/GMiuA0tYshw

Very cool!  I didn't know you were bald too!  I love you even more!!!!

[wildirish317]

Spend the next 10 minutes of your life watching this video:

https://youtu.be/GMiuA0tYshw

[DonkeyMN]

I sincerely hope that he recovers from his addiction and gets back to advising people of the overburdening BS in the world, where the whaambulance left cannot put forth a coherent argument.

The world needs this guy, maybe now more than ever.