Andrew, you sound just like me, my man. Especially back in my 70's I hit a huge wall as if I had started over from the beginning....
And then one day the sky opened up and I could see clearly and think clearly and I was happy for almost an entire month, right up until about three days ago when I started getting whispers of anxiety coming back. Today I woke up with a rapid heartbeat and a scared feeling. I cried twice today. It was the worst day out of the past three days, and I doubt it will be over for a few more days, but I can say this: the intensity this time around is greatly diminished and it has not crushed my faith in myself the way my 70's funk did.
Once you see clearly for a while, you will realize that there is an end to all of this suffering. You will probably have setbacks and recurrences, yes. I sure have. But the events are getting fewer and further between, and the intensity is dropping.
Bro, this is it. This is our quit. Our minds are going to try to convince us that there's something wrong with us and that we're permanently screwed, but we're not. I refuse to accept that, despite what I feel in that moment. We're coming home, Andrew, and there's no place like home.
Stick with it and you will see.