20 years and scared

[redtrain14]

Ballplayer

I combined your multiple introductions. Please use this one as your personal blog from this point forward. If you have a random thought, put it here. There is no need to start another thread.

As I was fixing this, I noticed 3 of the threads discussed mouth sores and the fact that to date, everything has been okay. You are one lucky sumbitch.

The other intro was titled "I get it". From what I read, you don't.

[zam]

2 Things:

1) You need to get your ass-load of different introductions merged into ONE introduction thread. It makes it easy on everyone reading them to get a feel for who you are and how you go about quitting. PM a moderator and ask them to do this for you. You can use your introduction thread as an ongoing personal journal. You only need one.

2) When you get done with June, you have some info that will help your new group (August). You should know what is expected: How did it happen, Why did it happen, and What are you doing (and will do) differently now?

JMHO

[Suck-It]

Proud to be quit with you. Next time you drive to the store to buy a can, you need to call every quit brother and get permission to cave first. If you have reached everyone of us and we all give you permission to cave, then you can drive your sorry ass to the store and buy a can.

We Quit Like Fuck and I am proud to be a June quit brother with you. Thanks for sharing - I am pming you my number.

Grind it out!!!

[Grizzly25]

Just thought I would share what I've been through the last month or so. Hopefully it eases somebody's anxiety out there. I'm on day 48. About 6 weeks ago, I noticed a dime-sized white spot on my gums with a lump under it. Thought for sure I had quit too late. Waited around a couple weeks, and nothing changed. Went to the ENT for a biopsy. After 5 days of hell, I got the call. Benign. About 2 days after that, I got a sore behind my bottom teeth that hurt like hell. Did some research on the computer, and came to the conclusion that it was a cold sore on my gums. Only thing was cold sores are supposed to be gone in a week or two. 3 weeks of looking at this thing in the mirror, and I finally went to the doc. It was a cold sore accompanied by a secondary infection. Which is why it was lingering. A couple days of antibiotics and it was gone. My point to all this is that during the last 6 weeks, that nic bitch has been screaming in my ear-"You already have cancer. Might as well have a dip!!". I couldn't tell you the number of times I almost caved. Even went as far as driving to the store to get it, stood in line and got a text message. It was one of my ktc brothers. Message said "Quitting is badass. Your badass. Stay quit." Left the store with a bag of sunflower seeds. Seemed like every time I started to cave, I'd get a text or PM from a ktc member. I know I wouldn't be quit without ktc and all the awesome people here. So thank you to all my quit brothers for all your support. Happy to be on day 48 and cancer free!!!

Great stuff bro!!!

Thats how and why this place works!

Stay QUIT!!!

[ballplayer76]

Just thought I would share what I've been through the last month or so. Hopefully it eases somebody's anxiety out there. I'm on day 48. About 6 weeks ago, I noticed a dime-sized white spot on my gums with a lump under it. Thought for sure I had quit too late. Waited around a couple weeks, and nothing changed. Went to the ENT for a biopsy. After 5 days of hell, I got the call. Benign. About 2 days after that, I got a sore behind my bottom teeth that hurt like hell. Did some research on the computer, and came to the conclusion that it was a cold sore on my gums. Only thing was cold sores are supposed to be gone in a week or two. 3 weeks of looking at this thing in the mirror, and I finally went to the doc. It was a cold sore accompanied by a secondary infection. Which is why it was lingering. A couple days of antibiotics and it was gone. My point to all this is that during the last 6 weeks, that nic bitch has been screaming in my ear-"You already have cancer. Might as well have a dip!!". I couldn't tell you the number of times I almost caved. Even went as far as driving to the store to get it, stood in line and got a text message. It was one of my ktc brothers. Message said "Quitting is badass. Your badass. Stay quit." Left the store with a bag of sunflower seeds. Seemed like every time I started to cave, I'd get a text or PM from a ktc member. I know I wouldn't be quit without ktc and all the awesome people here. So thank you to all my quit brothers for all your support. Happy to be on day 48 and cancer free!!!

[nv0311]

Hey ball, dude, I didn't have more than a beer or two for along time. Up until about two weeks ago did I even consider more than a few beers. It's your quit, and your a man...if your honest with yourself and your quit is important you will know what you can do and what you can't do. For me I was paranoid up until the last month.

[redtrain14]

Personally, I would back away from the booze, take it from someone who didn't, however....I'm still here.

You are either quit or you are not.

You have either made the decision, or you haven't.

You will post roll and keep your word, or you won't.

No amount of booze can change this mentality if it's in your possesion.

Do you have it?

[mrvalentine21]

Hey guys. Drinking has killed several of my past quit attempts. I start out thinking I can handle it, but 6 beers later I'm at the gas station buying a can. With the weather warming up, the barbecue grill is calling my name. And we all know what goes hand in hand with barbecue. Just wondering when in your quit, did you guys become able to drink a few without a strong desire to cave?

Make sure you use the resources available to you here. As it has been said already by others in this conversation. We are here for you as we hope you can be here for us, anytime you need to get something out there post it in July and well talk you through it. The thing that really got me here was embrace the suck, it didn't make sense to me at first but now I realize it does two things for you.

1. It makes you a stronger person, by embracing it you can look nicotine and Big Tobacco in the face and laugh at them.

2. Makes sure this is the last time you go through the suck.

I've only been here for a week but I'm that week these guys have taught me that I have a lot more fight in me than I think.

[ntartick]

Thanks for the advice coach, Mr. V, and dippshit(feels weird calling someone that without being angry with them).

Ntartick-Huh???? Not going through anything. Just looking for some guidance from brothers who are well ahead of me. Yes, I can say no to a beer. But thanks for trying. :huh:

Sorry, totally misread that. I'll sack up and apologize now. Sorry.

[jonathanrivers]

Lots of people advocate that you do not drink at all for at least the first 50-75 days. I think this is a "to each his/her own" practice. I have continued to drink beer during my quit, but I do not go out to bars much anymore since I'm married and my wife is pregnant. I have a rule that once I start drinking I can't drive anywhere so it's never been a problem for me.

As for you, if it has ruined quits in the past, then I would recommend you stop drinking for awhile. If you do want to continue drinking then you need to do it in moderation. My last suggestion is simple, it's called will power. Your brain is treating drinking beer as an excuse because that's what your addiction is telling your mind. Reverse the cycle, be strong. Tell the addiction to fuck off. If you can't do that then you have two options with each having a different result:

Option # 1: Keep drinking and cave

Option # 2: Stop drinking

Sounds like a no-brainer, right?

I'm not a vet, either. But I'll give you my 2 cents.

I tend to agree with Steve. I went to the Bar on my Day 2 and sat around cigarette smokers and just remembered how much I looked down on them for being addicted (after I had just quit myself, ironically).

I do believe it's a to each his own kind of thing. I continue to drink and haven't been close to caving. When the nic bitch tells me that smoking/dipping will make my night better, I tell her to suck a dick. A lot of my brothers probably don't agree with my putting myself in that situation - but I'm owning my quit and feel that it's okay for ME.

Two things:

1) Smokey Mountain chew helps. I keep a can in my truck just in case I'm shooting darts or playing pool with people who are dipping.

2) There have been countless people who have gotten so fucked up they caved. Like Steve said, moderation is key. And everyone is different.

Anyway, just my opinion. I'm positive I'll be meet with resistance.

[RAZD611]

Hey guys. Drinking has killed several of my past quit attempts. I start out thinking I can handle it, but 6 beers later I'm at the gas station buying a can. With the weather warming up, the barbecue grill is calling my name. And we all know what goes hand in hand with barbecue. Just wondering when in your quit, did you guys become able to drink a few without a strong desire to cave?

Protect your quit at all costs. Period.
Do not take any risks. Do not make yourself vulnerable.
Your quit is your priority.

You know what goes hand in hand with fishing, hunting, working, driving, showering, shitting.....yep, that's right, dip, and you quit that.
Looks like it is time to quit the alcohol also. It does not have to go hand in hand with something.

It goes good with a nice steak. Just not yet. Give it time. Learn how to kill the craves and how to really handle them first.

[ballplayer76]

Thanks rgross and kdip. I've had 30+ day "pauses" killed by a six pack before. So I know I'm nowhere near ready to put myself in that situation. Was just wondering what other's experiences were with it. Thanks for sharing.

[Kdip]

Ok, apparently I said it the wrong way. I'm not AT ALL considering drinking today or anytime in the near future. I will never consider caving. It was a question based out of pure curiosity, about how long it has taken others to be able to handle a few beers without having intense cravings. But I love that a couple of you, can read 3 sentences that I wrote, and label me an alcoholic.

It took me several months before I was fairly comfortable with putting back more than a couple of beers without being really worried about caving. That was as long as I made sure I stayed away from other dippers and smokers while drinking heavily. I did and STILL keep my guard up and often times carry a can of fake on me it I know I will be drinking with dippers or smokers. I caved many times in the past before KTCi and do not want to make that mistake again. Watch the booze for a while!

[rgross298]

Ok, apparently I said it the wrong way. I'm not AT ALL considering drinking today or anytime in the near future. I will never consider caving. It was a question based out of pure curiosity, about how long it has taken others to be able to handle a few beers without having intense cravings. But I love that a couple of you, can read 3 sentences that I wrote, and label me an alcoholic.

'crackup'

I picked up on that as well, Ballplayer. I thought I understood your original question and was curious to see what the 'vets' said. Kinda funny how you got pushed into a corner and your beer taken away.

If you want my advice, you sound like a reasonable guy. I'm feeling strong on day 45 here, and I haven't really changed my drinking behavior. I have a beer or two when the situation merits it. Haven't had any crises or been seen running drunk down the street to the convenience store with my hands in the air screaming.

I would recommend having a tin of Smoky Mountain or some other fake stuff on hand in case you get a nasty crave, but other than that, if you're a reasonable guy and don't tend to get ass-stomping drunk whenever you crack open a bottle, and you TRUST yourself, no reason you can't enjoy a brew.

[ballplayer76]

Ok, apparently I said it the wrong way. I'm not AT ALL considering drinking today or anytime in the near future. I will never consider caving. It was a question based out of pure curiosity, about how long it has taken others to be able to handle a few beers without having intense cravings. But I love that a couple of you, can read 3 sentences that I wrote, and label me an alcoholic.