Here we go again

Started by THansen2413, February 22, 2014, 08:23:00 PM

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worktowin

Quote from: Stranger999I met you last summer and I don't know what to think other than I'd like to help you if I can. I can post that again and again but it won't mean anything until you decide that you need help and ask for it before you jump off the ledge again.
This is a powerful message.

Stranger999

I met you last summer and I don't know what to think other than I'd like to help you if I can. I can post that again and again but it won't mean anything until you decide that you need help and ask for it before you jump off the ledge again.

SirDerek

well you did say you were going to get the tough love, and I think those posts before hit that point on the head more that that. But that is then.....

this is now, as it is hard for me to say too much as 1) that is not my style and 2) I have looked you eye to eye in person and have had some times at the PA meet.

As others say, alcohol is not an excuse to cave. Never has been and never will be. And you had 2 things badly going for you. The lack of decision making when inebriated and a feeling of low esteem (the f*ck it feeling). Either of which on their own is a terrible danger to a quit whether it be day 10 or day 1,000, but when combined not only is that major red zone to quit, but a major red zone to one's own life.

I am glad you had posted and realize that, for yourself, the need to handle the alcohol issue as well as nicotine. Both are toxic, addictive substances that if one cannot handle need to remove from one's life, somehow.

You are in a unique situation now, that decision point to right the ship, or just sink. I think after meeting you, that you can handle both, and shed them aside.

Start today with a 'double day 1'

we may not be able to help with the alcohol, but know there are others who can. But you have learned in 3 years what needs to be done. This time just do not let anything get in the way of that knowledge.

AppleJack

Quote from: NolaqThis guy is a pretender. Nothing more.

Take from this what you will, but three years in...he knows better.

Selfish. Shameful. Stupid. Nothing more.
One. Thousand. Days.

I won't even waffle and pretend to believe mercy and a second chance should be given. If you're caving at this point... you do NOT belong here.

Ever. Again.

I look up at my July brother Todd's intro and I can tell you with complete peace... Fuck. Right. Off. There is no excuse.

NONE.
Well, it’s one louder, isn’t it? It’s not ten.

Nolaq

This guy is a pretender. Nothing more.

Take from this what you will, but three years in...he knows better.

Selfish. Shameful. Stupid. Nothing more.
What is your major malfunction?!?!?!?!

wastepanel

Quote from: rtpope
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: rtpope
Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: E&C's
Quote from: Thumblewort
Quote from: Raider
Quote from: ThumblewortCall me an old fool, but other than removing himself from roll how do we know he caved - unless me told someone, then duh of course.
He confessed to a couple members of the saloon.
OIC, thanks! Quit on bro (and June 2014) nothing to see here.

The dude in my avi thinks caving sucks THansen.
That avatar! Perfect.
Newbies are gonna read this and think... damn after 3 years... it is still this hard???

No, it isn't.

Imagine being on a team, a football team, and fighting hard to win every game you played for 3 years. Every game. Sometimes you got the living shit kicked out of you. Sometimes your teammates did. Bloodied noses. Broken arms. Knees jammed into the family jewels. But you kept playing and winning, and over the years you became like family. You knew your teammates family problems and successes. Their joys and sorrows. And they knew yours.

Then one day you went in and took a shit in each of their lockers and put a note up that said "fuck you im done with you." And then you left.

That, newbies, is what THansen just did. Learn from this selfish POS. Don't be like THansen.
I love the teamwork part of this analogy. But if quitting is as hard after 3 years as the beginning, you're doing it wrong.

Your quit should grow over time. It should get easier to stay quit as your quit matures. It's like a muscle, the work of quitting strengthens it. Until you quit using it. Then dystrophy sets in and your muscle weakens. Then you're just a sad, pathetic shithead that the away 3 years of "quit."
The difference between a stopper and a quitter is how the bad is handled. A quitter steps up and does what needs to be done. A stopper doesn't.

At 3 years, a quit is not harder. Those muscles are built. But there are occasional blips of "weakness". There are days that are worse than others. It's not bad to feel weak on occasion. It's bad to give into the weakness.

I've fucking been at the 1000 day marker and stepped back. I didn't have the support system I have now and that's why I stay. On my own, I don't know if i can make it quit. Past history says I can't. But when I'm here...

Fuck, tyler. Just....fuck man.
I would contend that if a "weak day" after 1000 brings about even the remotest thought of using, your quit isn't maturing.

At some point you have to become so entrenched in "never again for any reason" that dip is never again an option.

Fwiw, he posted the day of his cave, so it's not like he "was going it alone" unless you call posting in a vacuum with no other interactions flying solo. I kinda think it's close, but whatever
Ain't nobody excusing the actions my friend.

Fucking sucks that he made that decision.
In the end I Surrender, I and I alone accept that I have and always will have a Nicotene ADDICTION. It is my choice to quit, but I can't do it alone. I get to go down this path one time, I want to do it right. I recognize that my word, my integrety to you is on the line and is only as good as my actions. Caving is not an option in this plan-Eafman 7/11

I am not cured. I will quit one day at a time. I will continue to do what works. Posting roll everyday. To do otherwise would be foolish on my part. You can do this-Ready 12/11

To overcome your addiction you must comprehend what it means to fail-Razd 3/12

Theres a lot of people that come here, especially vets, that WANT to be reminded that they are addicts.-Tarpon 6/12

Just as a building starts with architectural drawings. Your daily quit begins with a promise.-Scowick 2/13

Here and now, focused on today, minute by minute, whatever it takes, I promise to all my bros and myself not to become a negative stat and stay quit!-krok 1/15

I want everyone to be quit. Even the assholes.-Probe1957 1/18

Ignoring history or erasing history fixes nothing and leads you inevitably down the same path.-69franx 04/30/2021

rtpope

Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: rtpope
Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: E&C's
Quote from: Thumblewort
Quote from: Raider
Quote from: ThumblewortCall me an old fool, but other than removing himself from roll how do we know he caved - unless me told someone, then duh of course.
He confessed to a couple members of the saloon.
OIC, thanks! Quit on bro (and June 2014) nothing to see here.

The dude in my avi thinks caving sucks THansen.
That avatar! Perfect.
Newbies are gonna read this and think... damn after 3 years... it is still this hard???

No, it isn't.

Imagine being on a team, a football team, and fighting hard to win every game you played for 3 years. Every game. Sometimes you got the living shit kicked out of you. Sometimes your teammates did. Bloodied noses. Broken arms. Knees jammed into the family jewels. But you kept playing and winning, and over the years you became like family. You knew your teammates family problems and successes. Their joys and sorrows. And they knew yours.

Then one day you went in and took a shit in each of their lockers and put a note up that said "fuck you im done with you." And then you left.

That, newbies, is what THansen just did. Learn from this selfish POS. Don't be like THansen.
I love the teamwork part of this analogy. But if quitting is as hard after 3 years as the beginning, you're doing it wrong.

Your quit should grow over time. It should get easier to stay quit as your quit matures. It's like a muscle, the work of quitting strengthens it. Until you quit using it. Then dystrophy sets in and your muscle weakens. Then you're just a sad, pathetic shithead that the away 3 years of "quit."
The difference between a stopper and a quitter is how the bad is handled. A quitter steps up and does what needs to be done. A stopper doesn't.

At 3 years, a quit is not harder. Those muscles are built. But there are occasional blips of "weakness". There are days that are worse than others. It's not bad to feel weak on occasion. It's bad to give into the weakness.

I've fucking been at the 1000 day marker and stepped back. I didn't have the support system I have now and that's why I stay. On my own, I don't know if i can make it quit. Past history says I can't. But when I'm here...

Fuck, tyler. Just....fuck man.
I would contend that if a "weak day" after 1000 brings about even the remotest thought of using, your quit isn't maturing.

At some point you have to become so entrenched in "never again for any reason" that dip is never again an option.

Fwiw, he posted the day of his cave, so it's not like he "was going it alone" unless you call posting in a vacuum with no other interactions flying solo. I kinda think it's close, but whatever

wastepanel

Quote from: rtpope
Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: E&C's
Quote from: Thumblewort
Quote from: Raider
Quote from: ThumblewortCall me an old fool, but other than removing himself from roll how do we know he caved - unless me told someone, then duh of course.
He confessed to a couple members of the saloon.
OIC, thanks! Quit on bro (and June 2014) nothing to see here.

The dude in my avi thinks caving sucks THansen.
That avatar! Perfect.
Newbies are gonna read this and think... damn after 3 years... it is still this hard???

No, it isn't.

Imagine being on a team, a football team, and fighting hard to win every game you played for 3 years. Every game. Sometimes you got the living shit kicked out of you. Sometimes your teammates did. Bloodied noses. Broken arms. Knees jammed into the family jewels. But you kept playing and winning, and over the years you became like family. You knew your teammates family problems and successes. Their joys and sorrows. And they knew yours.

Then one day you went in and took a shit in each of their lockers and put a note up that said "fuck you im done with you." And then you left.

That, newbies, is what THansen just did. Learn from this selfish POS. Don't be like THansen.
I love the teamwork part of this analogy. But if quitting is as hard after 3 years as the beginning, you're doing it wrong.

Your quit should grow over time. It should get easier to stay quit as your quit matures. It's like a muscle, the work of quitting strengthens it. Until you quit using it. Then dystrophy sets in and your muscle weakens. Then you're just a sad, pathetic shithead that the away 3 years of "quit."
The difference between a stopper and a quitter is how the bad is handled. A quitter steps up and does what needs to be done. A stopper doesn't.

At 3 years, a quit is not harder. Those muscles are built. But there are occasional blips of "weakness". There are days that are worse than others. It's not bad to feel weak on occasion. It's bad to give into the weakness.

I've fucking been at the 1000 day marker and stepped back. I didn't have the support system I have now and that's why I stay. On my own, I don't know if i can make it quit. Past history says I can't. But when I'm here...

Fuck, tyler. Just....fuck man.
In the end I Surrender, I and I alone accept that I have and always will have a Nicotene ADDICTION. It is my choice to quit, but I can't do it alone. I get to go down this path one time, I want to do it right. I recognize that my word, my integrety to you is on the line and is only as good as my actions. Caving is not an option in this plan-Eafman 7/11

I am not cured. I will quit one day at a time. I will continue to do what works. Posting roll everyday. To do otherwise would be foolish on my part. You can do this-Ready 12/11

To overcome your addiction you must comprehend what it means to fail-Razd 3/12

Theres a lot of people that come here, especially vets, that WANT to be reminded that they are addicts.-Tarpon 6/12

Just as a building starts with architectural drawings. Your daily quit begins with a promise.-Scowick 2/13

Here and now, focused on today, minute by minute, whatever it takes, I promise to all my bros and myself not to become a negative stat and stay quit!-krok 1/15

I want everyone to be quit. Even the assholes.-Probe1957 1/18

Ignoring history or erasing history fixes nothing and leads you inevitably down the same path.-69franx 04/30/2021

Jubs

June 14 is a group of solid quitters, a handful of whom taught me how to quit, and helped me through the shittiest parts of my quit.

I really hope your answers are well-thought out, although I'm not really sure how someone throws away 3 years of quit, while letting down a group of really good people.

rtpope

Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: E&C's
Quote from: Thumblewort
Quote from: Raider
Quote from: ThumblewortCall me an old fool, but other than removing himself from roll how do we know he caved - unless me told someone, then duh of course.
He confessed to a couple members of the saloon.
OIC, thanks! Quit on bro (and June 2014) nothing to see here.

The dude in my avi thinks caving sucks THansen.
That avatar! Perfect.
Newbies are gonna read this and think... damn after 3 years... it is still this hard???

No, it isn't.

Imagine being on a team, a football team, and fighting hard to win every game you played for 3 years. Every game. Sometimes you got the living shit kicked out of you. Sometimes your teammates did. Bloodied noses. Broken arms. Knees jammed into the family jewels. But you kept playing and winning, and over the years you became like family. You knew your teammates family problems and successes. Their joys and sorrows. And they knew yours.

Then one day you went in and took a shit in each of their lockers and put a note up that said "fuck you im done with you." And then you left.

That, newbies, is what THansen just did. Learn from this selfish POS. Don't be like THansen.
I love the teamwork part of this analogy. But if quitting is as hard after 3 years as the beginning, you're doing it wrong.

Your quit should grow over time. It should get easier to stay quit as your quit matures. It's like a muscle, the work of quitting strengthens it. Until you quit using it. Then dystrophy sets in and your muscle weakens. Then you're just a sad, pathetic shithead that the away 3 years of "quit."

worktowin

Quote from: E&C's
Quote from: Thumblewort
Quote from: Raider
Quote from: ThumblewortCall me an old fool, but other than removing himself from roll how do we know he caved - unless me told someone, then duh of course.
He confessed to a couple members of the saloon.
OIC, thanks! Quit on bro (and June 2014) nothing to see here.

The dude in my avi thinks caving sucks THansen.
That avatar! Perfect.
Newbies are gonna read this and think... damn after 3 years... it is still this hard???

No, it isn't.

Imagine being on a team, a football team, and fighting hard to win every game you played for 3 years. Every game. Sometimes you got the living shit kicked out of you. Sometimes your teammates did. Bloodied noses. Broken arms. Knees jammed into the family jewels. But you kept playing and winning, and over the years you became like family. You knew your teammates family problems and successes. Their joys and sorrows. And they knew yours.

Then one day you went in and took a shit in each of their lockers and put a note up that said "fuck you im done with you." And then you left.

That, newbies, is what THansen just did. Learn from this selfish POS. Don't be like THansen.

E&C's Dad

Quote from: Thumblewort
Quote from: Raider
Quote from: ThumblewortCall me an old fool, but other than removing himself from roll how do we know he caved - unless me told someone, then duh of course.
He confessed to a couple members of the saloon.
OIC, thanks! Quit on bro (and June 2014) nothing to see here.

The dude in my avi thinks caving sucks THansen.
That avatar! Perfect.

rtpope


Thumblewort

Quote from: Raider
Quote from: ThumblewortCall me an old fool, but other than removing himself from roll how do we know he caved - unless me told someone, then duh of course.
He confessed to a couple members of the saloon.
OIC, thanks! Quit on bro (and June 2014) nothing to see here.

The dude in my avi thinks caving sucks THansen.
Some of my fondest and clearest memories are peeing in places that aren't bathrooms.

Raider

Quote from: ThumblewortCall me an old fool, but other than removing himself from roll how do we know he caved - unless me told someone, then duh of course.
He confessed to a couple members of the saloon.