Souli to AVain, Souli to AVain...come in AVain

[Souliman]

204

Just some thoughts on what I'm experiencing here with you folks.

The longer I'm here, the more I understand about addiction (mine...ours). The past week I saw two members post intros describing their "tomorrow plan" and witnessed a pack of borderline psychotic wolves descend upon them.

I got two things out of this. One being a better understanding of when an addict can quit; and two being another understanding of what we're doing here.

These "tomorrow never dies" quitters are trying to split hairs I think. Being quit is a massive undertaking to them in both size and time...a tractor trailer barreling down on them. Horns blowing. All the lights on.  (Trailer for "Duel") They have overcomplicated it. Its not all the anxiety of the truck coming. Its the moment when the truck hits. When that user is face to face with that grill...that moment is when "quit" happens. And I think it falls in line with the perpetual caver..."I was quit for 90 days". No. You didn't quit. You missed that moment when the truck hit you or you weren't even able to see it. To me, quit is being able to see your "addict ego" carried away by that truck grill while "you" watch. The two are separate. If you can visualize that, I think quit can happen. And the further away that truck takes the addict, the better. He'll always be there...trapped on that grill...and you'll know it...but he's further and further away each day. Gotta keep them separate.

I'm glad Smokey congratulates "tomorrow quitters" on dying. Its black and white. Its not splitting hairs. Its forcing the issue of an addict seeing that truck grill. Every day when I post roll, I feel that moment. I think as a group, that's what we're doing. We keep that moment right at our finger tips and we try to show it to every addict that wants in the pool. If you can't see it, you're not ready for the pool. The more of us in the pool, the more of us that can communicate that moment and the more concrete it becomes. I like it. It keeps me coming back each day to quit.

This is really good shit. I just want to get other's thoughts on the "addict ego" carried away. I think of that differently. I think of it as "shutting the door". It is a bit of an acceptance and is hard place to get to.

At the beginning of my quit I can remember "quitting forever" and what a long time that is. It overwhelmed me. I have slowly trained my self not to think of forever. Just today. 1 day at a time. I think that is the easiest way to help people quit? Thoughts?

Good shit Souliman.

Thanks sco. I think you're right. Its tough to visualize my scenario. I too came in thinking "i'm quitting forever". That's a long road for an addict to walk. Too many thoughts can happen between strides. I guess I'm trying to disassociate that "addict ego" from Souliman....keep the two as far apart as possible. I kind of look at the "addict ego" lives in a bunch of patterns. In the beginning (when the truck hit me), I tried to minimize the overlap of patterns the addict lived in and Souliman lived in...sort of keep the two energies away from each other. They both are aware of each other but don't want them to cross each other. The addict on the grill is just a way of thinking about the patterns and how they connect to Souliman. When that truck hit me, the patterns had to separate. There couldn't be quit for Souliman without the separation.

PS. Feel kind of funny talking about myself in the 3rd person

[Scowick65]

204

Just some thoughts on what I'm experiencing here with you folks.

The longer I'm here, the more I understand about addiction (mine...ours). The past week I saw two members post intros describing their "tomorrow plan" and witnessed a pack of borderline psychotic wolves descend upon them.

I got two things out of this. One being a better understanding of when an addict can quit; and two being another understanding of what we're doing here.

These "tomorrow never dies" quitters are trying to split hairs I think. Being quit is a massive undertaking to them in both size and time...a tractor trailer barreling down on them. Horns blowing. All the lights on.  (Trailer for "Duel") They have overcomplicated it. Its not all the anxiety of the truck coming. Its the moment when the truck hits. When that user is face to face with that grill...that moment is when "quit" happens. And I think it falls in line with the perpetual caver..."I was quit for 90 days". No. You didn't quit. You missed that moment when the truck hit you or you weren't even able to see it. To me, quit is being able to see your "addict ego" carried away by that truck grill while "you" watch. The two are separate. If you can visualize that, I think quit can happen. And the further away that truck takes the addict, the better. He'll always be there...trapped on that grill...and you'll know it...but he's further and further away each day. Gotta keep them separate.

I'm glad Smokey congratulates "tomorrow quitters" on dying. Its black and white. Its not splitting hairs. Its forcing the issue of an addict seeing that truck grill. Every day when I post roll, I feel that moment. I think as a group, that's what we're doing. We keep that moment right at our finger tips and we try to show it to every addict that wants in the pool. If you can't see it, you're not ready for the pool. The more of us in the pool, the more of us that can communicate that moment and the more concrete it becomes. I like it. It keeps me coming back each day to quit.

This is really good shit. I just want to get other's thoughts on the "addict ego" carried away. I think of that differently. I think of it as "shutting the door". It is a bit of an acceptance and is hard place to get to.

At the beginning of my quit I can remember "quitting forever" and what a long time that is. It overwhelmed me. I have slowly trained my self not to think of forever. Just today. 1 day at a time. I think that is the easiest way to help people quit? Thoughts?

Good shit Souliman.

[Bean]

That's good stuff. Thanks. Best comment IMHO is that you learn about addiction everyday.

[Souliman]

204

Just some thoughts on what I'm experiencing here with you folks.

The longer I'm here, the more I understand about addiction (mine...ours). The past week I saw two members post intros describing their "tomorrow plan" and witnessed a pack of borderline psychotic wolves descend upon them.

I got two things out of this. One being a better understanding of when an addict can quit; and two being another understanding of what we're doing here.

These "tomorrow never dies" quitters are trying to split hairs I think. Being quit is a massive undertaking to them in both size and time...a tractor trailer barreling down on them. Horns blowing. All the lights on. (Trailer for "Duel") They have overcomplicated it. Its not all the anxiety of the truck coming. Its the moment when the truck hits. When that user is face to face with that grill...that moment is when "quit" happens. And I think it falls in line with the perpetual caver..."I was quit for 90 days". No. You didn't quit. You missed that moment when the truck hit you or you weren't even able to see it. To me, quit is being able to see your "addict ego" carried away by that truck grill while "you" watch. The two are separate. If you can visualize that, I think quit can happen. And the further away that truck takes the addict, the better. He'll always be there...trapped on that grill...and you'll know it...but he's further and further away each day. Gotta keep them separate.

I'm glad Smokey congratulates "tomorrow quitters" on dying. Its black and white. Its not splitting hairs. Its forcing the issue of an addict seeing that truck grill. Every day when I post roll, I feel that moment. I think as a group, that's what we're doing. We keep that moment right at our finger tips and we try to show it to every addict that wants in the pool. If you can't see it, you're not ready for the pool. The more of us in the pool, the more of us that can communicate that moment and the more concrete it becomes. I like it. It keeps me coming back each day to quit.

[Souliman]

196

I just ratted out the 14 year old across the street after catching him with a turd in his mouth with his buddies. I hope his Sicilian mother was kidding about "killing him". Tough telling a parent their kid is killing themselves. He's a good kid.

Too bad no one ratted me out when I was that age. I did the right thing I would say.

-Soul

[Souliman]

B's lose. 12 pack of guinness going down. Flipping around and see someone fire up a smoke and...BOOM. fucking crave for a lip anchor.

Its easy to cave. Takes a backbone to fight the NB. Its a fuckload easier after giving my word to sco, capt, wv, sore, dynasty, and the rest of 3-11. I mother fucking quit today bitches. Cheers.m

[Jtricher]

Soul - 25 year dipper. Started out with Cope when I was 14, hanging out with my friends, thinking I was cool. If I knew then what I know now. Sadly, I can't get those years back. But fortunately, I might have a few ahead, and it won't be with Nic the Bitch at my side. I will not dip, I will not cave. This is the only time in my life where I welcome being called a "quitter." Proud to be quit with you. Thanks for the post.

[Copehater]

185

"One day at a time"
"Its simple but it ain't easy"
"This isn't an ATTEMPT at quitting...you are now quit."
"You put your word down with the rest of us...you give your word."
"I am not a unique and special butterfly. I am an addict."

Just the words I look for when I'm feeling the nic bitch pulling at my lip. Almost 200 days in and still have the fucking desire to stop and grab a tin? Its not everyday but its often enough. I hate being an addict. I fucking hate it. Just need to vent a little. I'm still quit. Just need to get back on top of it. Back on top of my quit.

Is there a 'Like' button on this Intrduction thing?

[Souliman]

185

"One day at a time"
"Its simple but it ain't easy"
"This isn't an ATTEMPT at quitting...you are now quit."
"You put your word down with the rest of us...you give your word."
"I am not a unique and special butterfly. I am an addict."

Just the words I look for when I'm feeling the nic bitch pulling at my lip. Almost 200 days in and still have the fucking desire to stop and grab a tin? Its not everyday but its often enough. I hate being an addict. I fucking hate it. Just need to vent a little. I'm still quit. Just need to get back on top of it. Back on top of my quit.

[Souliman]

171 - Just echoing my thanks to you folks here. its one day at a time for me. and seeing guys post day after day beyond your first hundred is keeping me on the path. especially to the heavy hitting quitters in March 11. you bastards bring the quit. cheers.

[Souliman]

Working crazy hours with little sleep. Fighting the nic bitch. Fighting her...and winning.

Pick a rock. Grab a sword. Aim your pistol. Whatever it takes. Fight that demon off.

FU NB. You're mine. I own you today. You won't win.

[csucomms1]

Fighting the NB bad this week. Really the hardest since I've been clean. Lots of stress. Lots of driving. Lots of bullshit. The driving got to be the toughest part. Father of little ones, crazy wife refusing to cook, boss that's a few tools short in his toolbox, the car is a fucking paradise.

Good to see all the quitting going on here.

Keep it going Soul! I am fighting the Nic bitch pretty hard this week too. Back on assignment in the Middle East, being around a lot of abusers and getting more and more pissed off/stressed each day. What helps me keep going is the fact that this is my choice, my fight and most important my quit! Don't let outside shit try to cloud your brain and influence ANYTHING to do with YOUR QUIT! Protect it at all costs. Thank you for being here, you make my quit stronger. Proud to quit with you!

[Souliman]

Fighting the NB bad this week. Really the hardest since I've been clean. Lots of stress. Lots of driving. Lots of bullshit. The driving got to be the toughest part. Father of little ones, crazy wife refusing to cook, boss that's a few tools short in his toolbox, the car is a fucking paradise.

Good to see all the quitting going on here.

[Souliman]

Thanks for empowering me guys.

[grimace8777]

Soul, proud to be in the same quit group as you! Keep up the good work man,we are in this together!