Just Getting Started

[Scowick65]

Our actions are all that matter in the end.

I was scared today. downright fucking terrified. When I walked away eating nasty-ass funyons I was terrified that it got that close. Tomorrow will be a better day. My promise is in.

Tomorrow may be worse. You'll still be quit.

70's funk is all, just a bit early, one day at a time buddy. You DO got this and it will get easier i promise. Read up on the funk

Victory. Cherish it. You have gotten through the toughest part. Now, the nic bitch has to use different warfare. Sneaky, sneaky stuff now. She seldom fights. Little 30 minute battles with your mind...every so often. There to test your resolve and find weakness. Hone your craft on these types of battles. Victory. Cherish it.

[Skoal Monster]

Our actions are all that matter in the end.

I was scared today. downright fucking terrified. When I walked away eating nasty-ass funyons I was terrified that it got that close. Tomorrow will be a better day. My promise is in.

Tomorrow may be worse. You'll still be quit.

70's funk is all, just a bit early, one day at a time buddy. You DO got this and it will get easier i promise. Read up on the funk

[Smokeyg]

Our actions are all that matter in the end.

I was scared today. downright fucking terrified. When I walked away eating nasty-ass funyons I was terrified that it got that close. Tomorrow will be a better day. My promise is in.

Tomorrow may be worse. You'll still be quit.

[per034]

Our actions are all that matter in the end.

I was scared today. downright fucking terrified. When I walked away eating nasty-ass funyons I was terrified that it got that close. Tomorrow will be a better day. My promise is in.

[Smokeyg]

I am 6 minutes away from the end of day 56. At least that's what time it is as I'm writing. I'm sure by the time I hit "post reply" it'll be time for my Day 57 promise.

Today was not easy. I'm in Boston right now for work sitting in my hotel room. Took a train from Penn Station 4 hours up here. No dip. Who cares, right? It's been EIGHT FUCKING WEEKS ASS-MUNCH! YOU DON'T DIP ANYMORE.

Oh but I do. In the back of my mind I still dip.

I don't know why today was so tough. I played golf on Thursday for the first time without dip and it wasn't too tough. Seeds... beer... an historical amount of triple bogeys.. but I wasn't craving. Played again on father's day... never really thought about dip. Lots of seeds. But no dip. I didn't even think about it.

Today was not easy though. At 6:50 pm I found myself walking around Woburn Massachusettes looking for a Seven Eleven. I wanted a dip. I rationalized for 30 minutes that I could get a tin, dip while away for work, and then throw it away when I get home. I was 100% convinced that I would break my promise today and for 30 minutes I was 100% ok with that. I didn't find a seven eleven. I found a BP. I walked up to the counter and saw 31 flavors of dip behind Apu. I opened my mouth and paused.. actually paused like this was some bullshit sitcom or something... and asked for a can of Smokey Mountain. They didn't carry. Got two bags of seed and a bag of funyons. As I was walking back to my hotel I though I would have a feeling of pride because I held strong. Because I didn't give in to the cravings.

I was ashamed. I was embarrassed. I was disgusted with myself because those 30 minutes when I was convinced I was going to break my promise was almost as bad as breaking my promise.

I'm now starting day 57. The cravings don't get easier. They get harder - they just come and go a lot less often. I don't care what day you're posting today.As soon as you think "I got this" you'll find yourself a day closer to "Day 1."

Funny - when you're committed to keeping your word, thinking "I'm going to break my promise" means just about as much as an active chewer saying "I'm going to quit tomorrow."

Our actions are all that matter in the end. You owned that shit.

[teamgreen]

I am 6 minutes away from the end of day 56. At least that's what time it is as I'm writing. I'm sure by the time I hit "post reply" it'll be time for my Day 57 promise.

Today was not easy. I'm in Boston right now for work sitting in my hotel room. Took a train from Penn Station 4 hours up here. No dip. Who cares, right? It's been EIGHT FUCKING WEEKS ASS-MUNCH! YOU DON'T DIP ANYMORE.

Oh but I do. In the back of my mind I still dip.

I don't know why today was so tough. I played golf on Thursday for the first time without dip and it wasn't too tough. Seeds... beer... an historical amount of triple bogeys.. but I wasn't craving. Played again on father's day... never really thought about dip. Lots of seeds. But no dip. I didn't even think about it.

Today was not easy though. At 6:50 pm I found myself walking around Woburn Massachusettes looking for a Seven Eleven. I wanted a dip. I rationalized for 30 minutes that I could get a tin, dip while away for work, and then throw it away when I get home. I was 100% convinced that I would break my promise today and for 30 minutes I was 100% ok with that. I didn't find a seven eleven. I found a BP. I walked up to the counter and saw 31 flavors of dip behind Apu. I opened my mouth and paused.. actually paused like this was some bullshit sitcom or something... and asked for a can of Smokey Mountain. They didn't carry. Got two bags of seed and a bag of funyons. As I was walking back to my hotel I though I would have a feeling of pride because I held strong. Because I didn't give in to the cravings.

I was ashamed. I was embarrassed. I was disgusted with myself because those 30 minutes when I was convinced I was going to break my promise was almost as bad as breaking my promise.

I'm now starting day 57. The cravings don't get easier. They get harder - they just come and go a lot less often. I don't care what day you're posting today.As soon as you think "I got this" you'll find yourself a day closer to "Day 1."

Glad to hear you made it (and I'm glad to see you work through this on your intro page). That said, please see your day 39 post and ruminate on that promise before you ever get to a point where you are OK breaking it (you should be on the phone getting permission to cave before you ever get into a store). It's a testament to how strong this addiction is that you can "get it" and still get to that point. That's why many of us are such hardasses here. You just can't leave the slightest crack open or your addicted mind will try to take over.

Way to stay strong in the end, and thanks for sharing the story. That said, the cravings DO get easier. They're like a gnat to me at day 450 and they are far between. That said, I never assume I won't get a crushing one at any time. That's why I post roll every day and know how to deal with it when it comes.

It helped me to focus on not putting a day to when it would get "better." Just keep putting one proverbial foot in front of the other, come what may, and one day you'll turn around and look back and realize that it hasn't been too hard for a while.

Just keep on quitting, bro. It is WELL worth it, no matter how your addict mind tries to convince you otherwise.

[per034]

I am 6 minutes away from the end of day 56. At least that's what time it is as I'm writing. I'm sure by the time I hit "post reply" it'll be time for my Day 57 promise.

Today was not easy. I'm in Boston right now for work sitting in my hotel room. Took a train from Penn Station 4 hours up here. No dip. Who cares, right? It's been EIGHT FUCKING WEEKS ASS-MUNCH! YOU DON'T DIP ANYMORE.

Oh but I do. In the back of my mind I still dip.

I don't know why today was so tough. I played golf on Thursday for the first time without dip and it wasn't too tough. Seeds... beer... an historical amount of triple bogeys.. but I wasn't craving. Played again on father's day... never really thought about dip. Lots of seeds. But no dip. I didn't even think about it.

Today was not easy though. At 6:50 pm I found myself walking around Woburn Massachusettes looking for a Seven Eleven. I wanted a dip. I rationalized for 30 minutes that I could get a tin, dip while away for work, and then throw it away when I get home. I was 100% convinced that I would break my promise today and for 30 minutes I was 100% ok with that. I didn't find a seven eleven. I found a BP. I walked up to the counter and saw 31 flavors of dip behind Apu. I opened my mouth and paused.. actually paused like this was some bullshit sitcom or something... and asked for a can of Smokey Mountain. They didn't carry. Got two bags of seed and a bag of funyons. As I was walking back to my hotel I though I would have a feeling of pride because I held strong. Because I didn't give in to the cravings.

I was ashamed. I was embarrassed. I was disgusted with myself because those 30 minutes when I was convinced I was going to break my promise was almost as bad as breaking my promise.

I'm now starting day 57. The cravings don't get easier. They get harder - they just come and go a lot less often. I don't care what day you're posting today.As soon as you think "I got this" you'll find yourself a day closer to "Day 1."

[30yraddict]

I know your pain, per. We want to see everyone succeed. We help in any way that is within our power. But ultimately they have to take ownership of their quit. They have to close the door. It says volumes about their quit if they are not willing to spend 5 minutes posting roll.

[per034]

Day 52. I'm taken back to basketball practice in high school.

End of practice. We all line up on the base line. coach says "everyone hits ten from the foul line and we can all go home".

There are 12 of us. 10 of us hit ten pretty easily. Some go 10 for 10.. most 10 for 13 or 14... the other two, not so much. they suck. They're tyring, but God didn't bless them. we're all standing on the baseline waiting for them to hit their fould shots.

But that's alright because they're at the end of the bench and they're supposed to suck. And we're teammates. We're all rooting for them. We're all trying to help them learn how to shoot better. We're 16, 17 year old kids who get it and are trying to help the guys who suck to get better.

Now it's June 15, 2011. 22 years later. End of the day. We're all lined up in roll call ... except for a few guys... not so much. They suck at roll. And we're all standing there waiting for them to post roll.

And that's not alright. Becuase NOBODY in my quit group is at the end of the bench. We're all starters. You don't get to collect the trophy if your quit sucks. I'm sorry - this isn't high school basketball. And, oh yeah - I'm not 17 anymore. And neither are you. Take the skirt off. If you can't post roll EVERY FUCKING DAY THEN GET OUT OF MY FUCKIN QUIT GROUP!

Sorry - just getting pissed now. I found someone today who went 11 days between posts. I wish I had the power to kick them out.

In high school basketball, you could suck - but you had to try. Some of these motherfuckers here don't try.

[dchogs]

I'm at 39 days today. I'm here every day. It's just part of my life now. Like having a cup of coffee or putting on new underwear every day (ok, maybe not everyday :)).

When I started this journey I didn't know what to expect. Frankly, I didn't even know if I wanted to quit. My quit started almost on accident - which is a quick way to a failed quit. But I haven't failed and I won't fail. Becuase of this site, every day my quit gets stronger. In the beginning, I spent an obscene amount of time on this site, just reading. Seeing unbelievable support from people who had no clue who I was and seeing astonishing anger directed at people who failed at their quit. I was (and still am) incredibly grateful for the former, and was (but am no longer) incredibly disheartened by the latter.

I went back to my first post in the August Quit Group today and starting reading forward. At one point I came across one of my own posts on Day 3 which included something along the lines of "maybe in a week I'll regret posting this"... The whole thing was about the anger directed at failed quitters.

Well, it's over a month later. I don't regret posting what I had written so early on, because those comments were just another part of my journey to where I am today. But I no longer feel the same way. I understand the anger directed at the failed quit of others. It has nothing to do with the failed quit. It has everything to do with a broken promise. I didn't realize that in the beginning. Some random stranger wants to give in to the nicotine addiction, well too bad for them - I'm not involved. But that same random stranger makes a promise to me and breaks it? Well fuck you then, because now I am involved.

I think that's a defining reason why this site works for so many people. It works for the people who take pride in their own personal character and integrity. It works for people who realize that a promise made is a promise kept. I have no idea if others on this site share the same opinion or if I'm just way the hell out in left field... but it doesn't really matter all that much. This is what I believe this site means for ME and MY QUIT, so this is what I will continue to believe.

And that's why I come here everyday. Like a cup of coffee and fresh pair of skivvies. Because I know I won't break my promise - my promise is stronger than my addiction.

Preach on, brother per, preach on!

When I've told my dipping friends that it was an online forum that got me over the hump, they think I'm crazy. Giving my word, especially to others going through the same shit, and keeping it means everything to me.

Excellent post, per. Proud to be quit with you, and thank you for making my quit stronger!

[Ready]

I'm at 39 days today. I'm here every day. It's just part of my life now. Like having a cup of coffee or putting on new underwear every day (ok, maybe not everyday :)).

When I started this journey I didn't know what to expect. Frankly, I didn't even know if I wanted to quit. My quit started almost on accident - which is a quick way to a failed quit. But I haven't failed and I won't fail. Becuase of this site, every day my quit gets stronger. In the beginning, I spent an obscene amount of time on this site, just reading. Seeing unbelievable support from people who had no clue who I was and seeing astonishing anger directed at people who failed at their quit. I was (and still am) incredibly grateful for the former, and was (but am no longer) incredibly disheartened by the latter.

I went back to my first post in the August Quit Group today and starting reading forward. At one point I came across one of my own posts on Day 3 which included something along the lines of "maybe in a week I'll regret posting this"... The whole thing was about the anger directed at failed quitters.

Well, it's over a month later. I don't regret posting what I had written so early on, because those comments were just another part of my journey to where I am today. But I no longer feel the same way. I understand the anger directed at the failed quit of others. It has nothing to do with the failed quit. It has everything to do with a broken promise. I didn't realize that in the beginning. Some random stranger wants to give in to the nicotine addiction, well too bad for them - I'm not involved. But that same random stranger makes a promise to me and breaks it? Well fuck you then, because now I am involved.

I think that's a defining reason why this site works for so many people. It works for the people who take pride in their own personal character and integrity. It works for people who realize that a promise made is a promise kept. I have no idea if others on this site share the same opinion or if I'm just way the hell out in left field... but it doesn't really matter all that much. This is what I believe this site means for ME and MY QUIT, so this is what I will continue to believe.

And that's why I come here everyday. Like a cup of coffee and fresh pair of skivvies. Because I know I won't break my promise - my promise is stronger than my addiction.

Gets me all Giddy when someone finally has that light above their head go off with the intensity of a thousand spotlights.

Enjoy your freedom, you are earning it every day.

P.S. You have no idea how great things will get. It gets way better.

[redtrain14]

Skivvies.....that just makes me giggle.

Good stuff per, proud to quit with you today!

[KUmarcus01]

Nice work per. Always good to read insight from fellow members ahead of me in the process.

[husker06484]

And that's why I come here everyday. Like a cup of coffee and fresh pair of skivvies.

Well La ti da Mr. fancy pants you get a fresh pair of skivvies...Arent you special.................Per you got it man...Your head is on straight and your journey is going to be long but still wouldnt trade my or your journey for all the virgins in the world....Keep it up.......Hmmm well maybe the really hot looking ones....Oh never mind...Never trading my journey....YOU THE MAN!

[jaygib]

Just between you and me there are parts of me that still don't wanna quit and I'm a couple months ahead of you. Don't get me wrong the vast majority of my fiber hates dip and what I allowed it to become in my life, but I'm an addict always hoping for my next fix until I die.

Thankfully I have folks like you I've given my word to today that I won't use.