If some of you are so damn smart then expplain to me why when I tried to quit several times before I failed but after I was scared for my life of cancer then I was about to not chew and have had no withdrawls? Please explain!! I can't explain it but all I know after several failures I was able to quit with no cravings all because I thought I had mouth cancer.
To answer your question, no one said that your quit has to be hard. I agree that stopping nicotine is a hell of a lot easier when you have your mind is right. What people are saying is that you are an addict. None of us, as addicts can ever really say we are done for good. We can only say we stopped using right now. You and I are just as addicted to nicotine right now as we were when we dipped full time, regardless of withdrawal symptoms or ease of nicotine cessation.
What people are trying to make you understand is that this is a commitment we make daily for a lifetime, not one that you make once and move on from. The reason the daily commitment is so important is because your life will change, your attitude will change, and the memory of your "blood on the pillow" will fade. But your addiction to this drug will ALWAYS stay. If you do not accept that you are an addict and always will be, there will come a point that you will think you have it all figured out and you can handle it. Just like I (and about a million others) did.
The reason people are angry is that you not only do not realize this, but you have an attitude that addiction is weakness and not just being able to quit at will is a weakness. You are like a rookie pro athlete talking about how great their career will be. You can only live and quit today everything else is speculation.
Long story short. Just because the act of stopping nicotine was easy for you does not mean shit, the end game here is not quitting it is staying quit. How you will do at that remains to be seen.
I'm going to be honest, I honestly think alot of it is mind set depending on how much you chew. I feel some people can be an addict and some may not. I think it affects everybody different. I guess I am thinking different about being an addict. For me no I don't and will never accept that I may be an addict because then that would always be in my mind that reminding me that my body may need nicotine to function right. To me that would make it harder to quit I would think. I just put it out of my life accepting nothing other than the fact that I don't need that stuff. Yea being scared and my daughter made it easy for me to quit, not sure why but it did. I think I just realized what my future was going to be if I would keep chewing. For a while I would just think of all the good things that would result in quitting and think of all the bad if I kept chewing. I wish there was a way to prove to you people that I will still be chew free years down the road but there isn't. It doesn't matter though because I'm doing this for my daughter as well as myself. I'm calmer now and gums are healed and just feel so much better since I quit. Made a promise to my daughter and late son that I'll never ever touch that shit again. My daughter is all I have left so there is no way I will let her down.
It's fantastic that you are so firm in your quit.
But what happens when the intensity of the cancer scare subsides? What tools will you have at your disposal to keep your quit strong?
It is dangerous to feel overconfident in your quit. If you have never been able to quit until now, then you are indeed an addict. Otherwise you would have been able to quit at the first personal desire to quit. I'm not trying to make you feel crappy, I'm just trying to open your eyes to a differenct perspective...one that can hopefully prevent a future cave (one that may or may not be in the making) The fact that you hit rock bottom and are riding that intensity right now is great for your quit. But it's not so great for your quit 3 years down the road. Even 200 days down the road. Because that intensity will most definitely fade.
We all felt invincible when we were younger, that's why we started this habit in the first place. The feeling that we are the one exception to the rule has kept us playing caner roulette all these years. So it's in our wiring to feel like we are the unique one where the rules don't apply. But they apply here. We ALL have the same story....to a scary degree, we are ALL the same. If I were you, I would seek out and identify the similarities, rather than point out your differences to the people here. It might just make your quit that much stronger.
Vette, You were spitting blood when you were brushing your teeth and waking up with blood on the pillow. But you continued to dip. That doesn't sound like a habit that sounds like an addiction. Just because I am a nicotine addict doesn't mean I NEED IT to function normally. In fact it is the last thing I need. I am past the physical and mental dependance on dip or smokes. However, I still get the urge to dip. It pops up all the time. Celebration dip, bummed out dip, life sucks dip, great meal dip, long drive, short drive, wake up , shower, shave, tv, and on it goes. 23 years is a long time to undo. I failed 100 times before because I thought I could control it. I thought I could have just one. Maybe one can, maybe dip for a weekend, then BAM right back to 2 cans a day like I never stopped. I can NEVER have another dip or smoke, or cigar, or snus, or nicotine gum, or any other nicotine product. If I do I'll be back to my old tricks faster than you can say UST. Got news for ya buddy, your closer to me than you think. I know that you smoked for a long time. I know you couldn't kick it easily. I know you then chewed to quit the smokes and that you tried and failed at least once to quit that. What does that tell you? Your answer is that you weren't ready to quit right? Man, I wish it were that easy. I can remember being 15 and literally praying to God to help me stop, I can remember giving up and accepting the fact that chew would eventually kill me because I couldnt stop. I can remember telling myself it was more of a habit than an addiction. I never wanted to stop something more in my life. I was ready, I just didn't know how.
When I did quit, it was alot like you, I just stopped one day. I had dipped a log in 4 days . I set the last can down and never had another. Like you it was easy at first, but I had moments later when this place saved my ass. I'm glad your kicking its ass, but don't speculate about the nature of others addictions. You mentioned that I would be better putting it out of my life. What you don't get is that I can't do that. As soon as I forget what it took to get me to a point where I could try to quit and then what it has cost to stay quit for 315 days I will start again. You wonder why I called myself Skoal Monster? Its not because I am glamorizing my favorite chew. It's because thats what I am/was. I was a monster, I was no different than a heroin addict except my drug of choice was skoal. I would have stole from my 3 year olds piggy bank to buy a dip. I'd lie cheat or steal to satisfy my habit. I'd stay up late to dip, I'd dip at work, Id avoid dinners, or any social occasion where I couldn't dip, Dip fucked up my marriage because I put it before my wife. I'm sure it jacked up other relationships as well. I didn't care. God forbid I ran out, I could out mean just about anything on the planet when I was in withdrawl. Ealry quit attempts my wife actually begged me to start chewing again. Go figure. Thing was , ultimately I was always in withdrawl. Even 2 cans a day I was never satisfied. I would be chewing and have a craving. The dip quit working. I couldn't physically chew any more and switching to cope , kodiak, didnt help either. I was fucking miserable ALL the time because of chew. and yet I kept dipping. That was my blood on the pillow. At some point I realized that if I felt shitty and craved all the time I might as well be quit. I literally never felt different before and after physical withdrawls. Yes I had nic rage ( BAD) and I had a couple of panic attacks, one I drove to the hospital because I actually thought I was having a heart attack.
I had a hard time, but it was worth it.
Long story I know, but the point is, I see alot of my past self in your arguments about habit vs addiction, about not really considering myself an addict, about getting the substance out of my life and then being in good shape. Your walking on a razor blade and you don't even know it. I'm glad your in a posistion of strength right now, but there WILL come a time when you are sorely tempted. When will power in and of itself wont save you from yourself. I wonder what you will do. I know what I will do .
sM
