I've mentioned it in a couple of the newer groups recently, but for whatever reason -- a million things on my mind, busy at work / home, wife out of town and am in need of some wifey therapy, etc. -- I have been having a crazy amount of caving nightmares. Like, crazy wake-up-in-a-panic-and-retrace-your-last-24-hrs-to-make-sure-you-didn't-cave type of nightmares. I don't have dreams very often, and when I read early in my quit about the "cave dreams" that many have, I figured it would never happen to me, and wouldn't be a big deal if it did. Couldn't have been more wrong.
It's been over eight hours since I got up and got on with my weekend, and I'm still worked up about it. I'm fortunate that I'm at a place in my quit where the majority of triggers have been confronted and overcome, I've got quitters' phone numbers in all time zones that are relevant to me, am in an active text group, am as involved as life allows me to be on KTC, and I'm in the best HOF month on the site (for my needs, purposes personality). Maybe because of this level of commitment to my and my Mayhem brothers' quits, as well as those that have come back recently to post another day 1, the fuzzy feeling of caving in a dream sequence sickens me as much as it does. No clue, but it only serves to further fortify my quit.
As if nicotine didn't rob me and my loved ones of enough during the 20+ years that I used it, now it's preventing me from getting a good (or sticky) night's sleep? I detest nicotine on so many levels, I'm quaking with rage. Fuck the fuck off, you son of a cunt.