It's go-time -- nervous anxiety and all...

[srans]

Krusty just remember that each time you beat a trigger it will lose power over you. When we were using everything was a trigger! It will all pass someday, but until then have a plan and work it. You have all the power. The poison will not jump out of the can and pack itself in your mouth. Have lots of seeds, gum, candy, fake dip, etc. ready for your drive. You got this, you are winning.

Glad to have you krusty. You'll do fine on the car drive. Pop your hood, you won't find anywhere designated for the poison. Same applies to you. Look inside yourself and you'll not find one place the poison was designated for. Don't need it NEVER did! Glad to be quit with you.

[B-loMatt]

Krusty just remember that each time you beat a trigger it will lose power over you. When we were using everything was a trigger! It will all pass someday, but until then have a plan and work it. You have all the power. The poison will not jump out of the can and pack itself in your mouth. Have lots of seeds, gum, candy, fake dip, etc. ready for your drive. You got this, you are winning.

[Krusty]

Thanks guys -- great reinforcement. Part of me wants to keep going in there every day to see they forget what a "good" customer I used to be. Of course, the other part of me wants to light them up for inadvertently testing my quit at this early stage. Life's too short -- wish I gave more thought to that when I first put the poison in my mouth.

Early test tomorrow AM with the hour+ drive to a conference, and back again late-morning. Won't be able to post roll until late-morning, but understand that's all I'll be thinking about during the drives when I'd otherwise be doing something else.

Have a great morning, my eastern  central time zone brothers.

[Mogul]

Here is another possible solution. Don't say a word. Turn around and go to the refrig section. Get one of those cups of yogurt. Walk back to the checkout counter and open the tin of cope. Pour it into the yogurt. Ask for spoon. Stir up concoction. Tell the bitch behind the counter that you will pay for both when she eats all of it. As she looks at your crazy ass go get in your truck and leave. Now, everything you have in your hand is free. And the bonus..............they will never do that agin to you.

[gamecockfan]

I am on day 241 of my quit, and when I first quit, I had the same thing happen to me. I told the clerk I was quitting. She told me good luck, and for the next couple of times she would ask me if I was still quit. I would tell her yes. She finally quit asking, and the last time I was in there she asked me how I quit because she wants to quit smoking. Hang in there.

[ZillahCowboy]

Officially 48 hours since I took the final plug of poison from my mouth, and part of me feels absolutely liberated since I'm not hiding anything from anyone, while another part of me feels a little vulnerable with each new confrontation with an old habit.  Case in point:  I stopped by the usual liquor store this morning to pick up some gum and several bags of seeds (one for car, one for office, one for home, etc.), and heart was racing the whole time, knowing I would have to stare at the display stand of poison when I paid for my stuff.  Almost felt like I was trying to buy beer underage -- I knew I was doing something "wrong" (not buying a tin of Copie) and was nervous about getting "busted" (buying the tin at the last second).  So when I get to the cash register, the guy behind the counter picks up a tin of Copie (that he set next to the register when I walked in) and asks "This too?"  I couldn't get the words out of my mouth fast enough:  "No thanks, bro, not today" and practically threw my money at him so I could get out of there before temptation took over.  I may need to find a new store for gum  seeds.

Hi Kristy,
That was an all out victory at the convenience store! You will be stronger for each little victory. One day at a time. So simple. Go get day 3!

Krusty,
rdad's right. That was a victory. Stare that dip-rack down. You win!!!!
ZC.

[rdad]

Officially 48 hours since I took the final plug of poison from my mouth, and part of me feels absolutely liberated since I'm not hiding anything from anyone, while another part of me feels a little vulnerable with each new confrontation with an old habit.  Case in point:  I stopped by the usual liquor store this morning to pick up some gum and several bags of seeds (one for car, one for office, one for home, etc.), and heart was racing the whole time, knowing I would have to stare at the display stand of poison when I paid for my stuff.  Almost felt like I was trying to buy beer underage -- I knew I was doing something "wrong" (not buying a tin of Copie) and was nervous about getting "busted" (buying the tin at the last second).  So when I get to the cash register, the guy behind the counter picks up a tin of Copie (that he set next to the register when I walked in) and asks "This too?"  I couldn't get the words out of my mouth fast enough:  "No thanks, bro, not today" and practically threw my money at him so I could get out of there before temptation took over.  I may need to find a new store for gum  seeds.

Hi Krusty
That was an all out victory at the convenience store! You will be stronger for each little victory. One day at a time. So simple. Go get day 3!

[Krusty]

Officially 48 hours since I took the final plug of poison from my mouth, and part of me feels absolutely liberated since I'm not hiding anything from anyone, while another part of me feels a little vulnerable with each new confrontation with an old habit. Case in point: I stopped by the usual liquor store this morning to pick up some gum and several bags of seeds (one for car, one for office, one for home, etc.), and heart was racing the whole time, knowing I would have to stare at the display stand of poison when I paid for my stuff. Almost felt like I was trying to buy beer underage -- I knew I was doing something "wrong" (not buying a tin of Copie) and was nervous about getting "busted" (buying the tin at the last second). So when I get to the cash register, the guy behind the counter picks up a tin of Copie (that he set next to the register when I walked in) and asks "This too?" I couldn't get the words out of my mouth fast enough: "No thanks, bro, not today" and practically threw my money at him so I could get out of there before temptation took over. I may need to find a new store for gum  seeds.

[B-loMatt]

Sounds like you have the mindset to quit Krusty. Anger directed at the poison and it's pushers, acknowledgment of the dead end road that is continued using, and a willingness to drink the kool-aide. I also felt from day 1 of my quit that Never Again For Any Reason (NAFAR) mindset, but srans is right to tell you to just worry about today. No need to look to far ahead right now just keep the poison out of your body minute by minute or second by second if need be. Just get through today, and worry about tomorrow when it gets here.

Also, stop thinking that anyone here is "stronger" than you. We were all in the same trap; we all had a day 1. You are just as strong as any of us to get to day 2, and the longer you are quit the better it gets. The bad ass quitters who are fighting the hardest are you newbies. I am quit with you all day.

[ZillahCowboy]

It's been a little more than 30 hours since my last (and by "last", I mean "final", if my commitment and support of the brotherhood has anything to say about it) plug of poisonous shit, and wanted to thank you guys again for welcoming me with open arms, both on the forum and separately. I mentioned it to a couple of you, and thought it was worth repeating (mostly so I can see with my own eyes): after 20+ years of Copie, starting in earnest in college, beyond graduation, coming with me to four cities that have been called home, through a few girlfriends, and now an encouraging wife and innocent 3-yr old son, I am done with the shit. The amount of money that I pissed away for the addiction is enough to make me feel like I cheated my family financially -- nevermind the sneaky late nights making my girlfriend-then-wife sleep alone, having a sly dip while playing with my son at the playground, and looking for any BS excuse to run errands so I could stuff my mouth with the shit. I know there will be many more posts as I continue to process and reflect upon what a slippery slope a "cool" Bandit 20+ years quickly became, and I appreciate the brotherhood's comments, similar stories, perspectives, etc.

This will be a long road, one that has no end, but daily options / temptations to take an ill-advised (and well marked) fork that leads to a dead end. I look forward to following the well-beaten path of men far stronger than me and swapping stories during the shared journey.

Thanks again, brothers. Day two: bring it, bitch.

Been there done that. The time, the time lost and away from our loved ones is a tragedy. But you are reversing that and getting that time back, one hour at a time, one day a time. It's going to suck these first few days. Really suck. But you have taken the right steps. Hang in there, post roll, post messages on your board, and PM if you need a shout out. I quit with you today. ZC.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

It's been a little more than 30 hours since my last (and by "last", I mean "final", if my commitment and support of the brotherhood has anything to say about it) plug of poisonous shit, and wanted to thank you guys again for welcoming me with open arms, both on the forum and separately. I mentioned it to a couple of you, and thought it was worth repeating (mostly so I can see with my own eyes): after 20+ years of Copie, starting in earnest in college, beyond graduation, coming with me to four cities that have been called home, through a few girlfriends, and now an encouraging wife and innocent 3-yr old son, I am done with the shit. The amount of money that I pissed away for the addiction is enough to make me feel like I cheated my family financially -- nevermind the sneaky late nights making my girlfriend-then-wife sleep alone, having a sly dip while playing with my son at the playground, and looking for any BS excuse to run errands so I could stuff my mouth with the shit. I know there will be many more posts as I continue to process and reflect upon what a slippery slope a "cool" Bandit 20+ years quickly became, and I appreciate the brotherhood's comments, similar stories, perspectives, etc.

This will be a long road, one that has no end, but daily options / temptations to take an ill-advised (and well marked) fork that leads to a dead end. I look forward to following the well-beaten path of men far stronger than me and swapping stories during the shared journey.

Thanks again, brothers. Day two: bring it, bitch.

I like this a lot. Stay focused on today. Enjoy each day of freedom thoroughly here on out. One day at a time. I quit with you today.

[srans]

Sounds a lot like me and you have a lot in common. Great to have you.

Let's make this quit a little easier on you. Don't worry about final quit/forever/infinity and beyond. Just quit today.

One day at a time and you can have back a lot of what the poison has stolen. Going to have to chalk the money up as a loss, can't get that back. Quit with you today my friend.

[Krusty]

It's been a little more than 30 hours since my last (and by "last", I mean "final", if my commitment and support of the brotherhood has anything to say about it) plug of poisonous shit, and wanted to thank you guys again for welcoming me with open arms, both on the forum and separately. I mentioned it to a couple of you, and thought it was worth repeating (mostly so I can see with my own eyes): after 20+ years of Copie, starting in earnest in college, beyond graduation, coming with me to four cities that have been called home, through a few girlfriends, and now an encouraging wife and innocent 3-yr old son, I am done with the shit. The amount of money that I pissed away for the addiction is enough to make me feel like I cheated my family financially -- nevermind the sneaky late nights making my girlfriend-then-wife sleep alone, having a sly dip while playing with my son at the playground, and looking for any BS excuse to run errands so I could stuff my mouth with the shit. I know there will be many more posts as I continue to process and reflect upon what a slippery slope a "cool" Bandit 20+ years quickly became, and I appreciate the brotherhood's comments, similar stories, perspectives, etc.

This will be a long road, one that has no end, but daily options / temptations to take an ill-advised (and well marked) fork that leads to a dead end. I look forward to following the well-beaten path of men far stronger than me and swapping stories during the shared journey.

Thanks again, brothers. Day two: bring it, bitch.

[Mogul]

Krusty, I quit with you today too. Posting roll is your word you won't use nicotine. We are counting on you just like you are us. If I may, I will say let's get fired up about your quit. Every time nic wants to kill you and you battle it away that is a win in your corner. Be proud of that. Be proud of you. We will prop you up but you are the winner. Let's kick some ass together.

Mogul

[Erussell]

Thanks for the quick response -- incredibly reassuring to know there's a no-BS community out there that can relate to the state of mind I'm in right now. And can appreciate the extraordinary fear of falling back to old devices, justifications, etc. My mind is probably operating at 10% capacity (which isn't saying much), but I think I successfully joined  posted roll to the May 2014 group. If not, feel free to e-slap me and/or tell me what I missed. Thanks brothers.

You fucking bad ass you!!!! Posting roll and everything!!! Hey guess what you don't have to worry about falling back on old devices anymore,,,,, nope you posted roll,, and being the (man for your word) that you are means that your quit is safe! Your mind may go a little crazy but you can't use,,,, no,,,,,, you gave us your word that you wouldn't for any reason use any from of nicotine today. ODAAT here so post roll early and keep your word! We are quitting with you in every second, every minute, every hour of every day!