New Quitter

[cr4]

Day 8. I found myself getting a little overconfident with my quit . . . until today. I have been rolling along pretty good these past 8 days, nothing major. I did overcome a crave this morning. I was going into work a little later than my wife. Usually would run to the c-store as soon as she left so I could grab a tin. The thought ran through my head but I didn't. No huge deal, I got into work and signed the roll.

Then this afternoon, my wife lets me know that she is not going to be home tonight until after 8pm. My heart instantly started racing. An opportunity. I could have several hours of ninja time. Frankly, it is tough to write right now thinking about it.

"Perhaps I can be a once per 8 days dipper?", I thought trying to justify it as I always have. Then, I pulled the Contract to Give Up out of my wallet and read it over a few times. I read some posts and looked at a few cancer pics. I realized that this is just going to happen over and over again, just as it has in the past. If I don't get a hold of this now, another 20 years of putting this shit in my mouth is going to fly by, if cancer doesn't get me first.

Anyway, I signed the roll today, so I will not dip today or tonight. This is very difficult, but I thank KTC very much and all of my fellow quitters. I'm much feeling better now.

[iizphilister]

Thanks for all the support on Day 1 yesterday. It was a great help and made me more anxious to get on here and post roll today. Day 2 today. I had to drive about 2 hours this morning round trip for work. These trips used to be great because that would give me two hours to myself and to dip. Today I was not looking forward to it because I knew there would be the urge to dip. But it was just me and a big mug of coffee. I forgot about the urge fairly quickly and the drive went fine. It was awesome:

1. Not to worry about whether I left any bits on the console or my clothes that my wife might see.
2. Not having to look in the mirror at my crappy teeth and digging pieces out with the corner of a piece of paper on both ends of the trip.
3. Having a nice big cup of hot coffee. I never drank it on these trips because it took away from the flavor of the dip.
4. Not having to find a gas station before I get back to pull up to the garbage cans and dump my spitter.
5. Not having to think about when I'll be able to get away for my next dip.
6. Many more, but most importantly not living a secret life or killing myself with that shit.

One last thing. It was great to give my wife a real kiss yesterday. Often it is just a weak peck on the lips because I am concerned that she would taste/smell that I had been dipping.

Freedom is a good thing.

Freedom is AWESOME. I quit with you man! Just hit my 31st day. It is a wonderful feeling to not have to hide part of your life anymore. Yes, I am an addict, but I am overcoming it, one day at a time.

Stay quit man, this site has been my ROCK!

[iquitchewing]

Good to read your post and welcome you to KTC. I am 37 days and assure you that you can do this. I've smoked and chewed for 53 years, and am quit and will remain so. Drink lots of water, have stuff to put in your mouth, and know that after 3 days the physical withdraw will end. That's when I started seeing the bitch nicotine more clearly, and became qware of the lies she tells. Best wished and I quit with you.

[cr4]

Thanks for all the support on Day 1 yesterday. It was a great help and made me more anxious to get on here and post roll today. Day 2 today. I had to drive about 2 hours this morning round trip for work. These trips used to be great because that would give me two hours to myself and to dip. Today I was not looking forward to it because I knew there would be the urge to dip. But it was just me and a big mug of coffee. I forgot about the urge fairly quickly and the drive went fine. It was awesome:

1. Not to worry about whether I left any bits on the console or my clothes that my wife might see.
2. Not having to look in the mirror at my crappy teeth and digging pieces out with the corner of a piece of paper on both ends of the trip.
3. Having a nice big cup of hot coffee. I never drank it on these trips because it took away from the flavor of the dip.
4. Not having to find a gas station before I get back to pull up to the garbage cans and dump my spitter.
5. Not having to think about when I'll be able to get away for my next dip.
6. Many more, but most importantly not living a secret life or killing myself with that shit.

One last thing. It was great to give my wife a real kiss yesterday. Often it is just a weak peck on the lips because I am concerned that she would taste/smell that I had been dipping.

Freedom is a good thing.

[Wt57]

Welcome cr4.

Lies. We's all full of lies. Except here. You will not lie to these people. You will not lie to yourself while in the presence of these people. There is indeed honor among thieves.

Post Roll Call...every day...first thing. Then be a man of your word.

We are so fucked up! But loot is right, we've lied to those we love but we come here and keep our word to strangers! (Some more strange than others).
'Crazy'
Hopefully this leads us into being better in all aspects of our lives!

[loot]

Welcome cr4.

Lies. We's all full of lies. Except here. You will not lie to these people. You will not lie to yourself while in the presence of these people. There is indeed honor among thieves.

Post Roll Call...every day...first thing. Then be a man of your word.

[Wt57]

CR4 we are a bunch of ingrate, reject and derelict addicts. Hell I lied to my wife for 32 years and missed out on so much of my daughters life growing up. Now I'm getting a second chance, grandkids are a blast! After leveling with my wife she said she knew all the time! She is my main support and advocate. I quit with you!

[bringingheat2013]

cr4,
Me and you are in the same boat bud. I have been dipping for just over 4 years and started just after i married my wife. She caught me a few times and made me feel like the idiot i was, but she never knew the extent at which i hid my secret. She thought it was just a baseball, golf, and softball thing i did when in reality it was something I did basically anytime she was not around. I'm on day 3 and i feel like my quit is a predestined event, like I can't fail at this. I am pushing through with a little restlessness but it's worth it. My firstborn is due in July and I plan on being the dad and husband i was called to be.

[bleeckerdogs]

Another thing that helped me get throught th first couple days was fake chew. Just having something packed in my face helped. Smokey Mountain Wintergreen and straight are sold at WalMart around here. Our motto is no NIC ever, there is none here. I can see myself keeping a can for long drives. Packs nice, decent flavor, spitable, just the right amount of lip bite. Won't kill Ya. and there is no fear of getting hooked on the stuff. Good luck.

[cr4]

Diesel2112,

Thank you for the reply. I have thought about that and will tell my wife at some point. I'm not sure if now is the time. I feel that after I build up some more quit time, the conversation will go better (i.e. she won't be as pissed). It will be a very difficult discussion and I expect it to be similar to your experience, hopefully minus the hospital stay. Again, thank you for your thoughtful response and I'm glad to be here.

[cr4]

Bleekerdogs,

Yes, I have done all of those things. Wow, good thing our wives didn't talk. I am so glad to be here and no, I won't fuck up. You either. Thanks a ton for the support.

[Diesel2112]

Hello all,

Today is Day 1. I am 35 years old and started dipping when I was 16. It got worse through college and afterwards where I usually had a job where I could do it no problem and basically all of the time. I started working in an office and met my now wife when my chewing decreased some. She was a smoker at the time and we both "quit" tobacco 7 years ago. Unfortunately, she doesn't know that I do it every chance I get that I am away from her. I feel like I am cheating on her and I know I am lying to her.

Anyway, I have tried to quit dozens of times before. Sometimes would last days, a couple of weeks or maybe a month. After each time, I believed I had developed some magic willpower that would allow me to have just one. "Just one" has been my motto and has always failed me.

Now, it is at the point where anytime I have anything in my mouth I am paranoid that it is going to be cancer. So I am committed to stop lying to my wife and to stop putting poison in my body and I am looking forward to all of your support along the way. I am very thankful to have found this website.

Yes, be very thankful you found this site. One of our mottos is, "NEVER again for any reason". We are also aware that the "just one" motto is a piece of shit lie. Your an addict. Google "The Law of Addiction" if you don't believe me. Your picture might come up if you do an image search.

I too lied to my wife and hid my bad "habbit" from her for 15 years. I was a liar, a scum bag, a bad husband, and bad father, just a down right d bag. Choosing the can over my wife and family on more occasions then I care to remember. I'm still not sure I have fully forgiven myself. I'm not alone either...their are lots of dudes on here who have done the exact same shit you and I have done.

I too was scared by the big C. Got a nasty bump on the lip, thought is was cancer, had a panic attack, passed out, and landed in the hospital. Still didn't tell anyone, including the doctors so they sent me home after they determined my lip was fine.

So I went home and started dipping again, for about 3 days. Then all I could think about was, "what if next time it is cancer". I was a mess, had another panic attack, convinced I was dying and ended up back in the hospital for like 3 days. They tested my heart up down and every which way. It was fine...physically.

Finally as I laid in that bed with my entire family, including my wife, and all the doctors and nurses around me seeing I was in agony but unable to figure out why, I broke down...Told everyone in the room EVERYTHING. All the lies, how much I was doing it, when I would do it...EVERYTHING. Balled like a fucking BABY! At first they were shocked but seconds later they were relieved and started to cry with me. Even the doctor was like, "oh, okay this explains it."

I was lucky. My wife forgave me and said she would help me QUIT. So did my family. So I did.

I won't even go into detail about the struggles I have had to get to 241 days quit, but I just want to let you know you are not alone, and that this is going to suck more dick than Jenna Jameson. BUT...IT will totally be worth it. The freedom you will feel will be unreal.

Ultimately it is your decision, but I suggest you tell your wife. Quitting is hard enough, doing it behind someones back nearly impossible. I can't even describe the the weight that came off my shoulders when I told everyone. Again though, it is your choice.

Sorry I went so long on this, but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Use this site to get you quit. Post roll, read read read and read some more. Educate yourself on nicotine addiction and how it controls you. Reach out to people, get #'s from people in your quit group, use chat...WHATEVER it takes to keep that shit out you mouth. NO MORE, "just one".

Never again, for any reason.

[bleeckerdogs]

Cr4 You and I are like lieing brothers. I would do anything I could to sneak away, stay up late, work late, drive seperate, etc. I chewed for nine years without my wife knowing. Yeah right, but I did try to hide it from her as much as possible. You have found the only place that has kept me quit. I have chewed for 26 years, its all I knew. This site has showed me that there are so many brothers and sisters quiting today together. You will see people that post day 2500+. The way it works is simple, Join the May Group and post roll, by doing that you promise to us and yourself that you quit today, not forever, today. We worry about one day at a time. I have posted roll promising you the same. Then all you have to do is read everything here, and repeat. Its gets better and with support (KTC) its bearable. Don't FUCK UP! Stay quit. If you need anything hit me up. Good Luck!

[cr4]

Hello all,

Today is Day 1. I am 35 years old and started dipping when I was 16. It got worse through college and afterwards where I usually had a job where I could do it no problem and basically all of the time. I started working in an office and met my now wife when my chewing decreased some. She was a smoker at the time and we both "quit" tobacco 7 years ago. Unfortunately, she doesn't know that I do it every chance I get that I am away from her. I feel like I am cheating on her and I know I am lying to her.

Anyway, I have tried to quit dozens of times before. Sometimes would last days, a couple of weeks or maybe a month. After each time, I believed I had developed some magic willpower that would allow me to have just one. "Just one" has been my motto and has always failed me.

Now, it is at the point where anytime I have anything in my mouth I am paranoid that it is going to be cancer. So I am committed to stop lying to my wife and to stop putting poison in my body and I am looking forward to all of your support along the way. I am very thankful to have found this website.