July 09 Quitters

[GlennFtheKodiak]

Going down to lick the ole hairy hatchet wound for a first time college slam pig is a great way to get a little bit of gonaherpasifilaids to enjoy for the rest of the semester.

What are you a social worker or something...?

The College Diet Of Every American Dude = Slim Jims, Beer, Pussy.

And gonaherpasifilaids is not a real word, bitch.

Ask Dean.

Nope. It isn't a word. And I come from the authority of having had every VD at least twice.

Mr. Jason Fucking Blabbermouth is at it again. You need to crawl back into that test tube, Damian.

You love me!


Now shut your mouth before I knock out all your teeth just to keep you from biting down when I skull fuck you prison style :o

Who the fuck doesn't like to eat pussy?

[SWJ]

I'd love to have a reason to fight a 30 something, that maybe my wife would accept for just grounds.... But I'd also like to fight 6 thirteen year olds....

Personally, I would prefer to fight 13 six year olds.

I would definitely win.

[Jason Longley]

Going down to lick the ole hairy hatchet wound for a first time college slam pig is a great way to get a little bit of gonaherpasifilaids to enjoy for the rest of the semester.

What are you a social worker or something...?

The College Diet Of Every American Dude = Slim Jims, Beer, Pussy.

And gonaherpasifilaids is not a real word, bitch.

Ask Dean.

Nope. It isn't a word. And I come from the authority of having had every VD at least twice.

Mr. Jason Fucking Blabbermouth is at it again. You need to crawl back into that test tube, Damian.

You love me!


Now shut your mouth before I knock out all your teeth just to keep you from biting down when I skull fuck you prison style :o

[bearattack]

So how do u pick ur gum hair victims??? Beware of the seemingly docile 30sumthing, male human.. Particularly an "old punk at heart". As being provoked by another old punk, is a glorious level playing field, an all inhabitions are gone... I recommend teenager marks,, easy to run off if need be...

Dam I'd love to have a reason to fight a 30 something, that maybe my wife would accept for just grounds.... But I'd also like to fight 6 thirteen year olds....

Like bruce springstein says "glory days!!!"

[DeanTheCoot]

Going down to lick the ole hairy hatchet wound for a first time college slam pig is a great way to get a little bit of gonaherpasifilaids to enjoy for the rest of the semester.

What are you a social worker or something...?

The College Diet Of Every American Dude = Slim Jims, Beer, Pussy.

And gonaherpasifilaids is not a real word, bitch.

Ask Dean.

Nope. It isn't a word. And I come from the authority of having had every VD at least twice.

Mr. Jason Fucking Blabbermouth is at it again. You need to crawl back into that test tube, Damian.

[Jason Longley]

Going down to lick the ole hairy hatchet wound for a first time college slam pig is a great way to get a little bit of gonaherpasifilaids to enjoy for the rest of the semester.

What are you a social worker or something...?

The College Diet Of Every American Dude = Slim Jims, Beer, Pussy.

And gonaherpasifilaids is not a real word, bitch.

Ask Dean.

Whatever makes the flare up's less painful for you there bud!


Oh yeah, does the valtrex realy make you want to ride horses and run on the beach? I have always wanted to know that.


Post Script- By the way, in college, you are supposed to get the drunk girls to gobble YOUR knob. It is called the 68. You do me and I will owe you one!

[SWJ]

Going down to lick the ole hairy hatchet wound for a first time college slam pig is a great way to get a little bit of gonaherpasifilaids to enjoy for the rest of the semester.

What are you a social worker or something...?

The College Diet Of Every American Dude = Slim Jims, Beer, Pussy.

And gonaherpasifilaids is not a real word, bitch.

Ask Dean.

[DanTheMan]

Day 156

There was a time in my life when I was a legend. This goes back about 12 or 15 years, but trust me...I was like Dr. Dre and Kurt Cobain and Michael Madsen all wrapped up in a single, awesome unit.

Fast-forward to today, and things have very clearly changed. I no longer set cars on fire or drink until I become a samurai or choke hookers. No no. Today, I worry about the town budget and agonize about weather forecasts and cry myself to sleep to the sounds of Raffi.

I've also quit dipping. In turn, I chew a lot of gum.

"Dean...WTF does gum have to do with dead hookers?"

I know, I know. What's the connection?

Well, in these sedentary, responsible times, an old fool like me looks for good, clean fun. The point being, I've started throwing wads of gum into people's hair.

Needless to say, this is awesome and funny. Seeing people's faces when they realize that *someone* threw gum in their hair is peerless. (Best of all, no one ever suspects ME...I am in my thirties, for Christ's sake, with a toddler in my arms.) It's a big win to know that someone is going to have to either cut off a big chunk of hair (at the roots), or spend a whole night combing peanut butter through her locks.

Try it. You'll laugh.

I've been missing this.....................

It's a big win................

'crackup'

I agree!!!

[Jason Longley]

Well, in these sedentary, responsible times, an old fool like me looks for good, clean fun. The point being, I've started throwing wads of gum into people's hair.

Awesome.

In fact, you have reminded me of a story...

Once upon a time, when I too was an accomplished college swordsman, I met a sorority ho at a party.

Due to my animal magnetism and her sloppy drunkenness, I managed to get her back to my dorm room.

At which point I began to work my oral mojo.

As you might imagine, I had her squealing and moaning like she was having a seizure or something.

Her thighs were literally squeezing my ears so hard that I couldn't hear a thing.

I did feel my gum fall out of my mouth though.

Being the chivalrous sort that I am however, I opted to continue my performance without saying anything.

She seemed pretty happy with the way things were going anyway.

So I finished her off and we both fell asleep, safe and secure in post-coitus bliss.

Until she woke me up the next morning...

HER: Hey. *poke poke* Wake up.

ME: What.

HER: I'm pissed.

ME: Already...? How come...?

HER: You know.

ME: ....

HER: You're sick.

ME: What...?

HER: You got Big Red stuck in my muff.

ME: Oh yeah...

Anyway, that morning marked the first time I had given anyone besides myself a haircut.

Down there.

By the time I was done, the gum was out, but her bush looked kind of like a backwards mohawk.

A hawkmo, if you will.

I actually did a pretty good job, now that I think about it.

Strangely though, I never hooked up with her again...

You sir have some giant stones!

Going down to lick the ole hairy hatchet wound for a first time college slam pig is a great way to get a little bit of gonaherpasifilaids to enjoy for the rest of the semester.

[Stretch]

Ah the coot, yes yes you are feeling some pain, a sense of loss perhaps? You quit for 100 days it was almost fun, a challenge, the community and the brotherhood were exciting and new. But now the first kiss is over and your quit is not so novel eh? Slowly reality sets in that you are really quit and your not going back THIS MY FRIEND IS A GOOD THING. However, Sally Rotten Crotch nic bitch isnt done with you yet, she's starting to whisper in your ear..... "Dean baby enough of these games, you know you can't leave me forever so why don't you just give up?" "Don't you love me anymore?"

I too hit a post Hof funk that was harder than the first two weeks of my quit. Its a gut check boy o .

There is nothing wrong with you a dip could fix, Chew does not fill a void in your life but creates one. You have lost nothing by giving it up. You say you still love it? What did you love you don't have now? Did it enhance your enjoyment of life? I doubt it. Perhaps your spouse found you more attractive, she always liked the pics in National Geographic of the dudes with a plate in their lower lip. Were you a better dad ? constantly hiding from your family or holding your baby in one hand and a spitter in the other? It helps you relax?, yes yes, but medically you know that's bullshit, it raised your bp and heart rate. the relaxation you felt was just getting back to normal because you fed the addiction and removed the withdrawl. Maybe you are secretly in love with Ahmed the gas station attendant, you miss going in and saying. " no not that can the other one,no to your left, no not the fucking peach god dammit the Copenhagen you fucker" All the while wanting to jump behind the counter and kill him cause your fiending.
There is nothing to miss Dean, its a scam.

The nic bitch is the mental version of the Sham Wow fag, you need to turn the fucking channel or put in some ear plugs. Honestly what helped me is finding some other poor deluded addict on his day one and watching him struggle like hell. It was almost sadistic at first. I felt satiatied when they hit the fog and the funk and the headaches and first no sleep then can't sleep enough, and the mouth sores and the fear of cancer. Watching them helped me stay quit because I hated that and won't do it again. I remember being desperate to stop and each night laying in bed thinking tomorrow tomorrow I wont dip. Watching guys cave forces me to remember that and not become complacent with my quit. Then it turned from love of dip and a sense of loss to a militant hatred. You have to cultivate that hate. Watching people struggle today pisses me off, not at them, but at the addiction. It is crazy the toll nic takes on us both mentally and physically. Find some strugglers in the new group and try to shepard them thru to the Hof. Don't get discouraged with yourself if they cave, many will. It will only remind you how far you have come and what you left behind. This will strengthen your quit. If they do make it, sharing the struggle with them will strengthen your quit as well.

Good luck Dean The Quitter

Good +1

SM

It has been some time I have taken a trip down the "Dean is fucing off his rocker but he makes me laugh my ass off" road.

I decided to wonder around a little bit this afternoon and I happened across this little gem.

In all seriousness, this is a truly a wonderful description and should be shared with all to see.

This my friends, is what it's all about. Thanks SM!

Now back to the crazy dead hooker shit!

Dean - I am still waiting for my pony by the way!

[Stretch]

Well, in these sedentary, responsible times, an old fool like me looks for good, clean fun. The point being, I've started throwing wads of gum into people's hair.

Awesome.

In fact, you have reminded me of a story...

Once upon a time, when I too was an accomplished college swordsman, I met a sorority ho at a party.

Due to my animal magnetism and her sloppy drunkenness, I managed to get her back to my dorm room.

At which point I began to work my oral mojo.

As you might imagine, I had her squealing and moaning like she was having a seizure or something.

Her thighs were literally squeezing my ears so hard that I couldn't hear a thing.

I did feel my gum fall out of my mouth though.

Being the chivalrous sort that I am however, I opted to continue my performance without saying anything.

She seemed pretty happy with the way things were going anyway.

So I finished her off and we both fell asleep, safe and secure in post-coitus bliss.

Until she woke me up the next morning...

HER: Hey. *poke poke* Wake up.

ME: What.

HER: I'm pissed.

ME: Already...? How come...?

HER: You know.

ME: ....

HER: You're sick.

ME: What...?

HER: You got Big Red stuck in my muff.

ME: Oh yeah...

Anyway, that morning marked the first time I had given anyone besides myself a haircut.

Down there.

By the time I was done, the gum was out, but her bush looked kind of like a backwards mohawk.

A hawkmo, if you will.

I actually did a pretty good job, now that I think about it.

Strangely though, I never hooked up with her again...

I had a similar experience in High School when I was doing a bit of Muff Diving with some gum in my mouth.

Needless to say, I was accused of trying to end the "shave it off" battle. I won!

Pure hysterics!

[GlennFtheKodiak]

funny dean, my new hobby is sticking gum on, display items in stores......... and not getting caught by wife... if i did get busted, i guess its better than isle spitting... nah shed be pissed as fuck anyway.......

ill always be a lowlife scumfuk (thrill seeker actually)

Shit Ray, I was throwing gum in little Jap girls hair back in 1987 at Dagneys. You guys are late bloomers.

[bearattack]

funny dean, my new hobby is sticking gum on, display items in stores......... and not getting caught by wife... if i did get busted, i guess its better than isle spitting... nah shed be pissed as fuck anyway.......

ill always be a lowlife scumfuk (thrill seeker actually)

[SWJ]

Well, in these sedentary, responsible times, an old fool like me looks for good, clean fun. The point being, I've started throwing wads of gum into people's hair.

Awesome.

In fact, you have reminded me of a story...

Once upon a time, when I too was an accomplished college swordsman, I met a sorority ho at a party.

Due to my animal magnetism and her sloppy drunkenness, I managed to get her back to my dorm room.

At which point I began to work my oral mojo.

As you might imagine, I had her squealing and moaning like she was having a seizure or something.

Her thighs were literally squeezing my ears so hard that I couldn't hear a thing.

I did feel my gum fall out of my mouth though.

Being the chivalrous sort that I am however, I opted to continue my performance without saying anything.

She seemed pretty happy with the way things were going anyway.

So I finished her off and we both fell asleep, safe and secure in post-coitus bliss.

Until she woke me up the next morning...

HER: Hey. *poke poke* Wake up.

ME: What.

HER: I'm pissed.

ME: Already...? How come...?

HER: You know.

ME: ....

HER: You're sick.

ME: What...?

HER: You got Big Red stuck in my muff.

ME: Oh yeah...

Anyway, that morning marked the first time I had given anyone besides myself a haircut.

Down there.

By the time I was done, the gum was out, but her bush looked kind of like a backwards mohawk.

A hawkmo, if you will.

I actually did a pretty good job, now that I think about it.

Strangely though, I never hooked up with her again...

[DeanTheCoot]

Day 156

There was a time in my life when I was a legend. This goes back about 12 or 15 years, but trust me...I was like Dr. Dre and Kurt Cobain and Michael Madsen all wrapped up in a single, awesome unit.

Fast-forward to today, and things have very clearly changed. I no longer set cars on fire or drink until I become a samurai or choke hookers. No no. Today, I worry about the town budget and agonize about weather forecasts and cry myself to sleep to the sounds of Raffi.

I've also quit dipping. In turn, I chew a lot of gum.

"Dean...WTF does gum have to do with dead hookers?"

I know, I know. What's the connection?

Well, in these sedentary, responsible times, an old fool like me looks for good, clean fun. The point being, I've started throwing wads of gum into people's hair.

Needless to say, this is awesome and funny. Seeing people's faces when they realize that *someone* threw gum in their hair is peerless. (Best of all, no one ever suspects ME...I am in my thirties, for Christ's sake, with a toddler in my arms.) It's a big win to know that someone is going to have to either cut off a big chunk of hair (at the roots), or spend a whole night combing peanut butter through her locks.

Try it. You'll laugh.