July 09 Quitters

[theo3wood]

Musings after a Comma

Have any of you guys ever tried to put your own peepee inside your own butt? Well, if you have, that's how good it feels to get a comma.

I want you inside me.

[DeanTheCoot]

Musings after a Comma

Have any of you guys ever tried to put your own peepee inside your own butt? Well, if you have, that's how good it feels to get a comma.

[Keddy]

Calvin and Hobbes are the best . . . .

Calvin: "Burp"
Calvin's Mom: What do you say?
Calvin: Boy, that sure tasted better the first time around.
Calvin's Mom: Calvin!!
Calvin: Sounds like a barge coming through.
Calvin's Mom: Calvin!!
Calvin: . . . . . Excuse me . . . .

Calvin: Dad, how does the sun move across the sky?
Calvin's Dad: Solar wind.

Paraphrased . . . . .

[DeanTheCoot]

Overnight Flight

Back in the day, I dipped when I was on an airplane. Needless to say, it fed my abominable addiction. But it also served as a really good tool to get revenge upon people who sucked. On more than one occasion, I poured my spitter onto the seat of the person next to me, if she wore too much perfume or asked about my job or was very ugly.

I even went so far as to pour my spitter into the lap of a sleeping passenger who farted throughout a flight. I hope he is dead.

Better yet, with dip, you could get revenge on pretty much the entire aircraft. If I ever found myself in a generally agitated state, I'd simply broadcast little handfuls of snuff like fairy dust, reaching distant rows and causing quite a commotion. Or, I'd shit in the sink in the bathroom and then decorate it with dip.

For the past couple years, I've been more boring on flights.

But on an overnight trip last week, I was thinking of all the fun I used to have. In honor of that fun, I forced myself to puke on a guy sitting in front of me who wouldn't shut up his kids or some weird bullshit. I puked a little bit on his head, but mostly on his shoulder.

I played it off like I was really sick and was sorry, but a couple people knew better - those who saw me stick my finger down my throat, for instance. They didn't say anything, though. They just had a nervous, troubled look on their faces. I sneered at them and pretended to channel ghosts.

'crackup'

Taken any flights lately?

Isn't it about time for another episode of, "A day in the life of DeanTheCunt"?

You know, maybe it is time for something, bobo. Just not sure what. In all honesty, I think fatherhood has stripped me of wit, or even of the ability to laugh at anything other than the nonsense a three-year-old says. And while those things might, in fact, be funny, it has to be REAL funny to make anyone other than the three-year-old's parents laugh.

See? Fuck. There I go, making incredibly boring, safe comments. I am a real piece of shit.

man father hood is a time to hone your wit. just the other day i was reedin a old calvin comic ware he asked his dad how they no the wait limits on briges. the dad says the load up a truck to drive over hevyer and hevyer until it brakes the brige then they rebild it. well man thats what bein a dads all bout. makin shit up when you dont no the anser.

That is true. And I surely weave a web of bullshit from time to time with my three-year-old when I either do not have a satisfactory answer or believe lying will be funnier.

For example...

Jack: Why does the [Sirius] radio stop working sometimes?

Dean: Because the clouds block the satellite.

Jack: The sall-a-tite? What?

Dean: Yes, the satellite.

Jack: What?

Dean: The satellite, Jack. The satellite talks to the car.

Jack: What?

Dean: The signal that the receiver on top of the vehicle is supposed to pick up, which is from outer space, is being interrupted by both cloud cover and, probably, moisture on that piece of garbage Chinese antenna that is magnetized to the roof. It also doesn't help that there are still leaves on the oak trees. That also compromises the path between the sall-a-tite and the receiver.

Jack: *blank stare out the window*

Jack: *long pause*

Jack: Oh. I didn't know that.

[syndrome]

Overnight Flight

Back in the day, I dipped when I was on an airplane. Needless to say, it fed my abominable addiction. But it also served as a really good tool to get revenge upon people who sucked. On more than one occasion, I poured my spitter onto the seat of the person next to me, if she wore too much perfume or asked about my job or was very ugly.

I even went so far as to pour my spitter into the lap of a sleeping passenger who farted throughout a flight. I hope he is dead.

Better yet, with dip, you could get revenge on pretty much the entire aircraft. If I ever found myself in a generally agitated state, I'd simply broadcast little handfuls of snuff like fairy dust, reaching distant rows and causing quite a commotion. Or, I'd shit in the sink in the bathroom and then decorate it with dip.

For the past couple years, I've been more boring on flights.

But on an overnight trip last week, I was thinking of all the fun I used to have. In honor of that fun, I forced myself to puke on a guy sitting in front of me who wouldn't shut up his kids or some weird bullshit. I puked a little bit on his head, but mostly on his shoulder.

I played it off like I was really sick and was sorry, but a couple people knew better - those who saw me stick my finger down my throat, for instance. They didn't say anything, though. They just had a nervous, troubled look on their faces. I sneered at them and pretended to channel ghosts.

'crackup'

Taken any flights lately?

Isn't it about time for another episode of, "A day in the life of DeanTheCunt"?

You know, maybe it is time for something, bobo. Just not sure what. In all honesty, I think fatherhood has stripped me of wit, or even of the ability to laugh at anything other than the nonsense a three-year-old says. And while those things might, in fact, be funny, it has to be REAL funny to make anyone other than the three-year-old's parents laugh.

See? Fuck. There I go, making incredibly boring, safe comments. I am a real piece of shit.

man father hood is a time to hone your wit. just the other day i was reedin a old calvin comic ware he asked his dad how they no the wait limits on briges. the dad says the load up a truck to drive over hevyer and hevyer until it brakes the brige then they rebild it. well man thats what bein a dads all bout. makin shit up when you dont no the anser.

[DeanTheCoot]

Overnight Flight

Back in the day, I dipped when I was on an airplane. Needless to say, it fed my abominable addiction. But it also served as a really good tool to get revenge upon people who sucked. On more than one occasion, I poured my spitter onto the seat of the person next to me, if she wore too much perfume or asked about my job or was very ugly.

I even went so far as to pour my spitter into the lap of a sleeping passenger who farted throughout a flight. I hope he is dead.

Better yet, with dip, you could get revenge on pretty much the entire aircraft. If I ever found myself in a generally agitated state, I'd simply broadcast little handfuls of snuff like fairy dust, reaching distant rows and causing quite a commotion. Or, I'd shit in the sink in the bathroom and then decorate it with dip.

For the past couple years, I've been more boring on flights.

But on an overnight trip last week, I was thinking of all the fun I used to have. In honor of that fun, I forced myself to puke on a guy sitting in front of me who wouldn't shut up his kids or some weird bullshit. I puked a little bit on his head, but mostly on his shoulder.

I played it off like I was really sick and was sorry, but a couple people knew better - those who saw me stick my finger down my throat, for instance. They didn't say anything, though. They just had a nervous, troubled look on their faces. I sneered at them and pretended to channel ghosts.

'crackup'

Taken any flights lately?

Isn't it about time for another episode of, "A day in the life of DeanTheCunt"?

You know, maybe it is time for something, bobo. Just not sure what. In all honesty, I think fatherhood has stripped me of wit, or even of the ability to laugh at anything other than the nonsense a three-year-old says. And while those things might, in fact, be funny, it has to be REAL funny to make anyone other than the three-year-old's parents laugh.

See? Fuck. There I go, making incredibly boring, safe comments. I am a real piece of shit.

[Leahy16]

Overnight Flight

Back in the day, I dipped when I was on an airplane. Needless to say, it fed my abominable addiction. But it also served as a really good tool to get revenge upon people who sucked. On more than one occasion, I poured my spitter onto the seat of the person next to me, if she wore too much perfume or asked about my job or was very ugly.

I even went so far as to pour my spitter into the lap of a sleeping passenger who farted throughout a flight. I hope he is dead.

Better yet, with dip, you could get revenge on pretty much the entire aircraft. If I ever found myself in a generally agitated state, I'd simply broadcast little handfuls of snuff like fairy dust, reaching distant rows and causing quite a commotion. Or, I'd shit in the sink in the bathroom and then decorate it with dip.

For the past couple years, I've been more boring on flights.

But on an overnight trip last week, I was thinking of all the fun I used to have. In honor of that fun, I forced myself to puke on a guy sitting in front of me who wouldn't shut up his kids or some weird bullshit. I puked a little bit on his head, but mostly on his shoulder.

I played it off like I was really sick and was sorry, but a couple people knew better - those who saw me stick my finger down my throat, for instance. They didn't say anything, though. They just had a nervous, troubled look on their faces. I sneered at them and pretended to channel ghosts.

'crackup'

Taken any flights lately?

Isn't it about time for another episode of, "A day in the life of DeanTheCunt"?

[miles]

Bump

For

The

Genghis Kahn

Of

Quit

[Cancrusher]

The Four-Hundreds Funk

I needed this. Thanks for the heads up. Hitting 400 in 21 days and I do detect the stale scent of the doldrums around the corner.

I, for one, am excited about your 500th day free from nicotine! That's HUGE brother!

...no, not that. Your Quit!

Good luck with those sharts.

[Cancrusher]

...I will ravage you.

Do you promise? :rolleyes:

[DeanTheCoot]

Reflections @ 800

I had to take a fierce dump this morning. But every time I went to our men's room, someone was in the stall...the only one in the building. I held my poo for close to 45 minutes. Part agony, part ecstasy. I kept eking out little rumblings. The top of my boxers were wet, but I couldn't tell if it was upper-ass sweat from the pressure of stifling back a log or if I ripped some diarrhea.

I shit my pants pretty badly, it turned out, but that's not what I'm here to talk about.

Rather, the incident got me thinking about the sort of things I was going through 2+ years ago. One of which was that I didn't take a shit for more than a week when I quit. Without the laxative qualities of nicotine, I got all bound up.

I also had a hair-trigger temper. I managed to spare my wife the brunt of it. I spent every second I could with my little boy, in whose presence I couldn't possibly be upset. My poor dog, though...that was another story. I was all sorts of mean to her. I still feel bad about it. I mean, I laugh about it, because she was an idiot, but I still feel bad.

I was terrified during the first few weeks of my quit. Not of my health, but of an existence without my only crutch; my lifelong mate. I wasn't as fortunate as many of my other brothers, who were genuinely disgusted with their habits and couldn't find a single redeeming quality for tobacco. (I could identify many, which made the quitting that much harder.)

I found extreme value in KTC almost immediately, but that didn't help much - at least not directly. It was all about me and my word; having skin in the game; forging relationships that would be worth something and, therefore, be impossible to jeopardize. The shit the vets said made theoretical sense, but I had to take it all as a leap of faith. At Day 6 or Day 30 or Day 77, someone could have tattooed "It gets easier" on my dick, and I still would have doubted it.

But that was immaterial. It didn't matter to me if every day was as hard - or even harder - than the preceding day. I wasn't going to give up. I still don't. It hasn't changed a bit.

I have a lot of reflections. But mainly, I am still proud and amazed that I am here, quit. It's doable. I am proof of it. You, dear reader, are no more of a dirtbag addict than I am. No one loved tobacco more than I did. No one craved harder. So, no one quits harder. I am the Genghis Khan of Quit. I am fucking immortal. No one can touch me.

I think you're a maniac quitter, too. Just don't let me down. I will ravage you.

[brianl]

Overnight Flight

Back in the day, I dipped when I was on an airplane. Needless to say, it fed my abominable addiction. But it also served as a really good tool to get revenge upon people who sucked. On more than one occasion, I poured my spitter onto the seat of the person next to me, if she wore too much perfume or asked about my job or was very ugly.

I even went so far as to pour my spitter into the lap of a sleeping passenger who farted throughout a flight. I hope he is dead.

Better yet, with dip, you could get revenge on pretty much the entire aircraft. If I ever found myself in a generally agitated state, I'd simply broadcast little handfuls of snuff like fairy dust, reaching distant rows and causing quite a commotion. Or, I'd shit in the sink in the bathroom and then decorate it with dip.

For the past couple years, I've been more boring on flights.

But on an overnight trip last week, I was thinking of all the fun I used to have. In honor of that fun, I forced myself to puke on a guy sitting in front of me who wouldn't shut up his kids or some weird bullshit. I puked a little bit on his head, but mostly on his shoulder.

I played it off like I was really sick and was sorry, but a couple people knew better - those who saw me stick my finger down my throat, for instance. They didn't say anything, though. They just had a nervous, troubled look on their faces. I sneered at them and pretended to channel ghosts.

'crackup'

[DeanTheCoot]

Overnight Flight

Back in the day, I dipped when I was on an airplane. Needless to say, it fed my abominable addiction. But it also served as a really good tool to get revenge upon people who sucked. On more than one occasion, I poured my spitter onto the seat of the person next to me, if she wore too much perfume or asked about my job or was very ugly.

I even went so far as to pour my spitter into the lap of a sleeping passenger who farted throughout a flight. I hope he is dead.

Better yet, with dip, you could get revenge on pretty much the entire aircraft. If I ever found myself in a generally agitated state, I'd simply broadcast little handfuls of snuff like fairy dust, reaching distant rows and causing quite a commotion. Or, I'd shit in the sink in the bathroom and then decorate it with dip.

For the past couple years, I've been more boring on flights.

But on an overnight trip last week, I was thinking of all the fun I used to have. In honor of that fun, I forced myself to puke on a guy sitting in front of me who wouldn't shut up his kids or some weird bullshit. I puked a little bit on his head, but mostly on his shoulder.

I played it off like I was really sick and was sorry, but a couple people knew better - those who saw me stick my finger down my throat, for instance. They didn't say anything, though. They just had a nervous, troubled look on their faces. I sneered at them and pretended to channel ghosts.

[teamgreen]

Ya know, I'm glad somebody had the balls to bring this up, I sure as hell didn't. I hit a flippin brick wall around 460. Didn't get out of it until , well.... hopefully now. Just was thinking that I was feeling better today.  In any case, nice to see some of my favorite quitters hitting the same patch of shit.  I wonder if there is a post comma funk.

'bang head'  'bang head'  'bang head'

I'm with you on that one! Everytime I start thinking how nice a fat lip would be nowdays, I have to constantly remind myself about all the shitty dips I had along with the mouth sores, bleeding gums, stinking breath, and a racing hearbeat. Its amazing over time how the bad things seem to go away grom your memory and only the "positive" memories of your love for dip remain. :angry:

I'm far, far away from 500 days, but I don't mind be discouraged a little bit, if that's what this is.

Like you said, kdip, I fear the day down the road when I forget how absolutely desperate I was to quit. I was getting nothing positive out of dipping and SO many negatives. I despised my addiction then, and hopefully I'll still remember that when I'm still having to fight it at 500.

[Kdip]

Ya know, I'm glad somebody had the balls to bring this up, I sure as hell didn't. I hit a flippin brick wall around 460. Didn't get out of it until , well.... hopefully now. Just was thinking that I was feeling better today. In any case, nice to see some of my favorite quitters hitting the same patch of shit. I wonder if there is a post comma funk.

'bang head' 'bang head' 'bang head'

I'm with you on that one! Everytime I start thinking how nice a fat lip would be nowdays, I have to constantly remind myself about all the shitty dips I had along with the mouth sores, bleeding gums, stinking breath, and a racing hearbeat. Its amazing over time how the bad things seem to go away grom your memory and only the "positive" memories of your love for dip remain. :angry: