Stop trying to imagine forever. It's impossible and unproductive. I'm literally telling you to stop thinking beyond today. Just get through today in any way you choose (it is a choice, btw), be it gray, boring, happy, crabby, whatever. ODAAT. ODAAT. ODAAT. Trust me. There's only one way to win this fight and it's ODAAT. I'm 336 days in and I still can't get my head around NAFAR.
The war cry has worn off, huh? Well, that makes one of us. You said yourself that you hate the fact that you spent so much time away from your two kids all for the sake of dip. It pisses me off that I did the same things, too. I hate that someone else won and I lost: the winner was The American Snuff Company in Memphis Tennessee and the loser was me. Their strategy worked: I was willing to fork over thousands of dollars for their product and made it my top priority.
Think I'm being extreme? Consider this: today is June 12th, 2014 and you only have one crack at it. The number of Saturday afternoons you have left with your three year old are fewer than 52, because soon he'll be four. You already missed out many things that make you a very wealthy man and you can't have them back. You were stupid enough to let it happen for what is statistically likely to be 20% of your adult life.
You'll be at an elevated risk of about a dozen types of cancer until you are 46 years old. Throat, tongue, esophageal, lymph-node, mouth... You were willing to risk it all... why? Cancer can't happen to you? You're special?
On the other side of the coin is positivity, of course. Keep taking stock of moments you would otherwise have missed. Time is fleeting, dude, and you are winning.
Stay vigilant, stay active, stay pissed.