Intro to SAM83

[srans]

I was checking out the April 2014 Resolute Bastard spreadsheet this morning. Looks to me like we have 59 active as of today. If I am doing my math correctly would mean 70 have come  gone or caved. 46% success rate. We have more than one member with less than stellar posting records. I am concerned for them. We have all been around here long enough and many have spent a good bit of time reading threads, roll posts and participating in chat to realize the direct relationship between not posting roll consistently and posting more than one Day 1 in your life. The consistent theme of retreads is,"I thought I had this", "I drifted away", "I thought I arrived when I reached HOF", "I thought I could have just one"....the theme is all the same. I know I am still struggling. Is it better?, hell yes a thousand fold. Will the nic bitch be whispering in my ear in few weeks while I am sitting in a turkey blind trying to convince me that turkey hunting was somehow better with a dip in last spring? I have no doubt she will be. I will still be posting roll. I will be reading intros, advice and truth offered to new quitters like I read in AirbusPilot's intro this morning. My plan for now is continue to post roll every day and read and participate enough to assure my addicts brain will always be armed with the truth and that I will never romanticize the role of nicotine in my life.  I had a 5 year stop in the 1990's, I am a retread....not on this site, but in this battle I am. I never want to post or have a Day 1 again. I never want to forget what that first 30 days quit was like, how much it sucked, how badly those close to me suffered while I lashed out and was miserable. I forgot this before and it cost me years shoving shit in my lip. That's my truth and my plan.  It may not be yours, but as HOF approaches we each need to have the conversation with ourselves.

After 400+ days my group is down to under 15. I think we were in the 70's at one point. Not sure.... I keep my quit close to this day. To important to me not to. I use to think maybe the site kept me thinking of chew to much, but after 400+ i've concluded I think to much. Pot roll, keep your word and enjoy your freedom. Posting roll only takes seconds. No excuses!!! Good post and glad to be quit with you today.

[SAM83]

I was checking out the April 2014 Resolute Bastard spreadsheet this morning. Looks to me like we have 59 active as of today. If I am doing my math correctly would mean 70 have come  gone or caved. 46% success rate. We have more than one member with less than stellar posting records. I am concerned for them. We have all been around here long enough and many have spent a good bit of time reading threads, roll posts and participating in chat to realize the direct relationship between not posting roll consistently and posting more than one Day 1 in your life. The consistent theme of retreads is,"I thought I had this", "I drifted away", "I thought I arrived when I reached HOF", "I thought I could have just one"....the theme is all the same. I know I am still struggling. Is it better?, hell yes a thousand fold. Will the nic bitch be whispering in my ear in few weeks while I am sitting in a turkey blind trying to convince me that turkey hunting was somehow better with a dip in last spring? I have no doubt she will be. I will still be posting roll. I will be reading intros, advice and truth offered to new quitters like I read in AirbusPilot's intro this morning. My plan for now is continue to post roll every day and read and participate enough to assure my addicts brain will always be armed with the truth and that I will never romanticize the role of nicotine in my life. I had a 5 year stop in the 1990's, I am a retread....not on this site, but in this battle I am. I never want to post or have a Day 1 again. I never want to forget what that first 30 days quit was like, how much it sucked, how badly those close to me suffered while I lashed out and was miserable. I forgot this before and it cost me years shoving shit in my lip. That's my truth and my plan. It may not be yours, but as HOF approaches we each need to have the conversation with ourselves.

[brettlees]

I shared this on our FB page, thought I would share it here as well:

It was a dark an stormy night....actually is was a warm day for a family BBQ in the backyard, young 7/8 year old SAM decided to sneak a cigarette out of Pop's (grandfather) pack of Winstons and head to the woods behind the house....what are these things everyone is puffing on?....20 minutes later, SAM was quite green and puking in the toilet. Fast forward to age 13....they made me puke back then, but I am a man now....still lots of smokers at the family outings, let's try this again, it's 1979. I smoked uninterrupted until 1992. Ya I ran track, played football, went to college all while smoking. In 1992, I stopped cold Turkey (in the meantime I had lost two uncles, both grandparents and an aunt to smoking related illnesses since that fateful day in second grade when I snuck off to the woods). 1992....cold Turkey. Five years later (yes I really am a dumbass), at my Grad School Graduation Party, I made the MISTAKE...it's been five years....I can have just one cigarette...two weeks later, back to a pack a day....2002, I have got to quit these smokes, but I do not want to go through that cold turkey thing again....what about the patch or nic gum? Shit, that stuff is really expensive....I know, I will use the lip patch (Copenhagen)....it's only a couple of bucks a can and I can wean myself off cigs by using that nasty shit and then just give up the nasty shit....I don't even like how it tastes. Besides, on that stuff my lung capacity will not be effected and I can mountain bike, kayak and do all the outdoor stuff I love. Fast forward to 2014....shit I have a 12 year Copenhagen problem now....I spit blood when I brush my teeth, my mouth hurts, my gums are receding, my dentist (brother in law) is warning me about the white patches on my cheek, Man-up SAM, there is no easy way, this alternative is going to kill you....you got to quit cold turkey and never, ever, touch nicotine in any form ever again. Thank God I found KTC on my first day (I was looking for any easy way at the time...gum/patch...researching quitting snuff on-line)....thank God I found you my brothers and sisters of quit. I know me, once I stopped spitting blood and my mouth stopped hurting I would have caved....not now, not ever. Day 55, and nothing but plus 1's in my future. If you can learn anything from me, it is do not fool yourself....you can never touch nic again.....there is no one time for an addict.

Great read. 1 is to many and 1000 will never be enough. you have found the recipe to stay quit today my friend. :)

Thanks for sharing that. As addicts, we just can't control ourselves when it comes to nicotine. No amount is ever enough and we can never have just 1. Ever.

Keep at it ODAAT. I am quit with you all day long!

TCell: True da.

I'm glad you found us here too Sam- every strong quitter like you makes all of us stronger too- you're yet another pillar, and one I can trust to hold strong. Quit on man!

[T-Cell]

I shared this on our FB page, thought I would share it here as well:

It was a dark an stormy night....actually is was a warm day for a family BBQ in the backyard, young 7/8 year old SAM decided to sneak a cigarette out of Pop's (grandfather) pack of Winstons and head to the woods behind the house....what are these things everyone is puffing on?....20 minutes later, SAM was quite green and puking in the toilet. Fast forward to age 13....they made me puke back then, but I am a man now....still lots of smokers at the family outings, let's try this again, it's 1979. I smoked uninterrupted until 1992. Ya I ran track, played football, went to college all while smoking. In 1992, I stopped cold Turkey (in the meantime I had lost two uncles, both grandparents and an aunt to smoking related illnesses since that fateful day in second grade when I snuck off to the woods). 1992....cold Turkey. Five years later (yes I really am a dumbass), at my Grad School Graduation Party, I made the MISTAKE...it's been five years....I can have just one cigarette...two weeks later, back to a pack a day....2002, I have got to quit these smokes, but I do not want to go through that cold turkey thing again....what about the patch or nic gum? Shit, that stuff is really expensive....I know, I will use the lip patch (Copenhagen)....it's only a couple of bucks a can and I can wean myself off cigs by using that nasty shit and then just give up the nasty shit....I don't even like how it tastes. Besides, on that stuff my lung capacity will not be effected and I can mountain bike, kayak and do all the outdoor stuff I love. Fast forward to 2014....shit I have a 12 year Copenhagen problem now....I spit blood when I brush my teeth, my mouth hurts, my gums are receding, my dentist (brother in law) is warning me about the white patches on my cheek, Man-up SAM, there is no easy way, this alternative is going to kill you....you got to quit cold turkey and never, ever, touch nicotine in any form ever again. Thank God I found KTC on my first day (I was looking for any easy way at the time...gum/patch...researching quitting snuff on-line)....thank God I found you my brothers and sisters of quit. I know me, once I stopped spitting blood and my mouth stopped hurting I would have caved....not now, not ever. Day 55, and nothing but plus 1's in my future. If you can learn anything from me, it is do not fool yourself....you can never touch nic again.....there is no one time for an addict.

Great read. 1 is to many and 1000 will never be enough. you have found the recipe to stay quit today my friend. :)

Thanks for sharing that. As addicts, we just can't control ourselves when it comes to nicotine. No amount is ever enough and we can never have just 1. Ever.

Keep at it ODAAT. I am quit with you all day long!

True da.

[Derk40]

I shared this on our FB page, thought I would share it here as well:

It was a dark an stormy night....actually is was a warm day for a family BBQ in the backyard, young 7/8 year old SAM decided to sneak a cigarette out of Pop's (grandfather) pack of Winstons and head to the woods behind the house....what are these things everyone is puffing on?....20 minutes later, SAM was quite green and puking in the toilet. Fast forward to age 13....they made me puke back then, but I am a man now....still lots of smokers at the family outings, let's try this again, it's 1979. I smoked uninterrupted until 1992. Ya I ran track, played football, went to college all while smoking. In 1992, I stopped cold Turkey (in the meantime I had lost two uncles, both grandparents and an aunt to smoking related illnesses since that fateful day in second grade when I snuck off to the woods). 1992....cold Turkey. Five years later (yes I really am a dumbass), at my Grad School Graduation Party, I made the MISTAKE...it's been five years....I can have just one cigarette...two weeks later, back to a pack a day....2002, I have got to quit these smokes, but I do not want to go through that cold turkey thing again....what about the patch or nic gum? Shit, that stuff is really expensive....I know, I will use the lip patch (Copenhagen)....it's only a couple of bucks a can and I can wean myself off cigs by using that nasty shit and then just give up the nasty shit....I don't even like how it tastes. Besides, on that stuff my lung capacity will not be effected and I can mountain bike, kayak and do all the outdoor stuff I love. Fast forward to 2014....shit I have a 12 year Copenhagen problem now....I spit blood when I brush my teeth, my mouth hurts, my gums are receding, my dentist (brother in law) is warning me about the white patches on my cheek, Man-up SAM, there is no easy way, this alternative is going to kill you....you got to quit cold turkey and never, ever, touch nicotine in any form ever again. Thank God I found KTC on my first day (I was looking for any easy way at the time...gum/patch...researching quitting snuff on-line)....thank God I found you my brothers and sisters of quit. I know me, once I stopped spitting blood and my mouth stopped hurting I would have caved....not now, not ever. Day 55, and nothing but plus 1's in my future. If you can learn anything from me, it is do not fool yourself....you can never touch nic again.....there is no one time for an addict.

Great read. 1 is to many and 1000 will never be enough. you have found the recipe to stay quit today my friend. :)

Thanks for sharing that. As addicts, we just can't control ourselves when it comes to nicotine. No amount is ever enough and we can never have just 1. Ever.

Keep at it ODAAT. I am quit with you all day long!

[srans]

I shared this on our FB page, thought I would share it here as well:

It was a dark an stormy night....actually is was a warm day for a family BBQ in the backyard, young 7/8 year old SAM decided to sneak a cigarette out of Pop's (grandfather) pack of Winstons and head to the woods behind the house....what are these things everyone is puffing on?....20 minutes later, SAM was quite green and puking in the toilet. Fast forward to age 13....they made me puke back then, but I am a man now....still lots of smokers at the family outings, let's try this again, it's 1979. I smoked uninterrupted until 1992. Ya I ran track, played football, went to college all while smoking. In 1992, I stopped cold Turkey (in the meantime I had lost two uncles, both grandparents and an aunt to smoking related illnesses since that fateful day in second grade when I snuck off to the woods). 1992....cold Turkey. Five years later (yes I really am a dumbass), at my Grad School Graduation Party, I made the MISTAKE...it's been five years....I can have just one cigarette...two weeks later, back to a pack a day....2002, I have got to quit these smokes, but I do not want to go through that cold turkey thing again....what about the patch or nic gum? Shit, that stuff is really expensive....I know, I will use the lip patch (Copenhagen)....it's only a couple of bucks a can and I can wean myself off cigs by using that nasty shit and then just give up the nasty shit....I don't even like how it tastes. Besides, on that stuff my lung capacity will not be effected and I can mountain bike, kayak and do all the outdoor stuff I love. Fast forward to 2014....shit I have a 12 year Copenhagen problem now....I spit blood when I brush my teeth, my mouth hurts, my gums are receding, my dentist (brother in law) is warning me about the white patches on my cheek, Man-up SAM, there is no easy way, this alternative is going to kill you....you got to quit cold turkey and never, ever, touch nicotine in any form ever again. Thank God I found KTC on my first day (I was looking for any easy way at the time...gum/patch...researching quitting snuff on-line)....thank God I found you my brothers and sisters of quit. I know me, once I stopped spitting blood and my mouth stopped hurting I would have caved....not now, not ever. Day 55, and nothing but plus 1's in my future. If you can learn anything from me, it is do not fool yourself....you can never touch nic again.....there is no one time for an addict.

Great read. 1 is to many and 1000 will never be enough. you have found the recipe to stay quit today my friend. :)

[SAM83]

I shared this on our FB page, thought I would share it here as well:

It was a dark an stormy night....actually is was a warm day for a family BBQ in the backyard, young 7/8 year old SAM decided to sneak a cigarette out of Pop's (grandfather) pack of Winstons and head to the woods behind the house....what are these things everyone is puffing on?....20 minutes later, SAM was quite green and puking in the toilet. Fast forward to age 13....they made me puke back then, but I am a man now....still lots of smokers at the family outings, let's try this again, it's 1979. I smoked uninterrupted until 1992. Ya I ran track, played football, went to college all while smoking. In 1992, I stopped cold Turkey (in the meantime I had lost two uncles, both grandparents and an aunt to smoking related illnesses since that fateful day in second grade when I snuck off to the woods). 1992....cold Turkey. Five years later (yes I really am a dumbass), at my Grad School Graduation Party, I made the MISTAKE...it's been five years....I can have just one cigarette...two weeks later, back to a pack a day....2002, I have got to quit these smokes, but I do not want to go through that cold turkey thing again....what about the patch or nic gum? Shit, that stuff is really expensive....I know, I will use the lip patch (Copenhagen)....it's only a couple of bucks a can and I can wean myself off cigs by using that nasty shit and then just give up the nasty shit....I don't even like how it tastes. Besides, on that stuff my lung capacity will not be effected and I can mountain bike, kayak and do all the outdoor stuff I love. Fast forward to 2014....shit I have a 12 year Copenhagen problem now....I spit blood when I brush my teeth, my mouth hurts, my gums are receding, my dentist (brother in law) is warning me about the white patches on my cheek, Man-up SAM, there is no easy way, this alternative is going to kill you....you got to quit cold turkey and never, ever, touch nicotine in any form ever again. Thank God I found KTC on my first day (I was looking for any easy way at the time...gum/patch...researching quitting snuff on-line)....thank God I found you my brothers and sisters of quit. I know me, once I stopped spitting blood and my mouth stopped hurting I would have caved....not now, not ever. Day 55, and nothing but plus 1's in my future. If you can learn anything from me, it is do not fool yourself....you can never touch nic again.....there is no one time for an addict.

[Emulator]

Deep Creek, Maryland - Honi Honi Bar - February 22 Lake Plunge for Maryland Special Olympics. One head first plunge into that lake is guaranteed to cure even the strongest crave. External ice cream headache. Any one close to Deep Creek - We will be there by 11:00 AM.....PM me if you make it! I will be the one with the camo bathing suit and floaties :-) Plunge is at 2:00 PM.

Sounds like fun. Will not be in area but kudos to you efforts with special needs

[SAM83]

Deep Creek, Maryland - Honi Honi Bar - February 22 Lake Plunge for Maryland Special Olympics. One head first plunge into that lake is guaranteed to cure even the strongest crave. External ice cream headache. Any one close to Deep Creek - We will be there by 11:00 AM.....PM me if you make it! I will be the one with the camo bathing suit and floaties :-) Plunge is at 2:00 PM.

[ZillahCowboy]

Day 40 started with my second nic-mare.  I say nic-mare because it was a smoking dream.  Really strange to me that in both my dreams my mind goes back to cigarettes (smoked for about 20+ years before changing delivery system to Copenhagen 12 years ago).  It was the '80's, working at a Wilderness School for Youth Offenders, it was Christmas.   We always had a huge dinner and invited members of the local community, families of staff and residents in for a huge feast followed by Christmas Carols.  This was the 80's....you could still smoke in public places in fact I used to smoke right in our dining hall after a good meal....right in front of the kids....never thought anything about it.  My entire immediate family (mom/dad/sister/brother/grandparents) had all showed up (they never actually made it there in reality for a Christmas Dinner)....the meal was over, the carols had begun and my grand father leaned over and said, "I did not realize you smoked"...AAAAHHHHHH, how the fuck did that cigarette get in my hand...I threw it down in disgust, mind racing how did that happen?, did I take a puff? did I cave?....wake up...realize its only a nic-mare....get up, head for the coffee pot, habitually sweep mouth with tongue in case I fell asleep with a dip last night.....welcome to day 40 you fucking addict.  Good to be here and quit.

Damn Nic Bitch, huh?!? Nice present to celebrate your 40 days! Actually maybe it is a blessing, by helping solidify your resolve that much more. You have a good quit going on, keep it strong! I enjoy reading your posts and am proud to quit with you.

Congrats again, you're doing it!

You cannot make this shit up....unbelievable the hold dead nicotine containing dry leaves can have on us....dreaming about it. I guess the positive is I am dreaming about failing and not romanticizing using tobacco. Tells me the real fear in my mind is failing and not the desire to go back. That makes me (us) Resolute Bastards!

I had my 3rd nic mare last night in a month. Dreamed that I was driving in the truck at night and had 2 tins in the center console. What I was doing with 2 tins in the truck of ANY KIND of chew I don't know...but that's the weird shit dreams are made of. At any rate, one tin was Cope, one tin was fake dip. So I grabbed the fake dip tin in the dark and loaded up a fatty for my trip to the store. I'm still technically quit because it's fake, right? Then I start having a massive panic attack because now I think I might have grabbed the real stuff. So I pull over to the side of the road, turn on the dome light, look down and BOTH fucking cans were real dip. Oh you dirty motherf***ing nic bitch!

Why does our subconscious torture us in dreams like that?

I don't know ZC, but I think you should change your username to Steven King...creepy dreaming kinda guy :lol:

I know...i'm scaring myself with this shit. Maybe I should catalogue these dreams and sell them to someone in hollywood.

[SAM83]

Day 40 started with my second nic-mare.  I say nic-mare because it was a smoking dream.  Really strange to me that in both my dreams my mind goes back to cigarettes (smoked for about 20+ years before changing delivery system to Copenhagen 12 years ago).  It was the '80's, working at a Wilderness School for Youth Offenders, it was Christmas.   We always had a huge dinner and invited members of the local community, families of staff and residents in for a huge feast followed by Christmas Carols.  This was the 80's....you could still smoke in public places in fact I used to smoke right in our dining hall after a good meal....right in front of the kids....never thought anything about it.  My entire immediate family (mom/dad/sister/brother/grandparents) had all showed up (they never actually made it there in reality for a Christmas Dinner)....the meal was over, the carols had begun and my grand father leaned over and said, "I did not realize you smoked"...AAAAHHHHHH, how the fuck did that cigarette get in my hand...I threw it down in disgust, mind racing how did that happen?, did I take a puff? did I cave?....wake up...realize its only a nic-mare....get up, head for the coffee pot, habitually sweep mouth with tongue in case I fell asleep with a dip last night.....welcome to day 40 you fucking addict.  Good to be here and quit.

Damn Nic Bitch, huh?!? Nice present to celebrate your 40 days! Actually maybe it is a blessing, by helping solidify your resolve that much more. You have a good quit going on, keep it strong! I enjoy reading your posts and am proud to quit with you.

Congrats again, you're doing it!

You cannot make this shit up....unbelievable the hold dead nicotine containing dry leaves can have on us....dreaming about it. I guess the positive is I am dreaming about failing and not romanticizing using tobacco. Tells me the real fear in my mind is failing and not the desire to go back. That makes me (us) Resolute Bastards!

I had my 3rd nic mare last night in a month. Dreamed that I was driving in the truck at night and had 2 tins in the center console. What I was doing with 2 tins in the truck of ANY KIND of chew I don't know...but that's the weird shit dreams are made of. At any rate, one tin was Cope, one tin was fake dip. So I grabbed the fake dip tin in the dark and loaded up a fatty for my trip to the store. I'm still technically quit because it's fake, right? Then I start having a massive panic attack because now I think I might have grabbed the real stuff. So I pull over to the side of the road, turn on the dome light, look down and BOTH fucking cans were real dip. Oh you dirty motherf***ing nic bitch!

Why does our subconscious torture us in dreams like that?

I don't know ZC, but I think you should change your username to Steven King...creepy dreaming kinda guy :lol:

[ZillahCowboy]

Day 40 started with my second nic-mare.  I say nic-mare because it was a smoking dream.  Really strange to me that in both my dreams my mind goes back to cigarettes (smoked for about 20+ years before changing delivery system to Copenhagen 12 years ago).  It was the '80's, working at a Wilderness School for Youth Offenders, it was Christmas.   We always had a huge dinner and invited members of the local community, families of staff and residents in for a huge feast followed by Christmas Carols.  This was the 80's....you could still smoke in public places in fact I used to smoke right in our dining hall after a good meal....right in front of the kids....never thought anything about it.  My entire immediate family (mom/dad/sister/brother/grandparents) had all showed up (they never actually made it there in reality for a Christmas Dinner)....the meal was over, the carols had begun and my grand father leaned over and said, "I did not realize you smoked"...AAAAHHHHHH, how the fuck did that cigarette get in my hand...I threw it down in disgust, mind racing how did that happen?, did I take a puff? did I cave?....wake up...realize its only a nic-mare....get up, head for the coffee pot, habitually sweep mouth with tongue in case I fell asleep with a dip last night.....welcome to day 40 you fucking addict.  Good to be here and quit.

Damn Nic Bitch, huh?!? Nice present to celebrate your 40 days! Actually maybe it is a blessing, by helping solidify your resolve that much more. You have a good quit going on, keep it strong! I enjoy reading your posts and am proud to quit with you.

Congrats again, you're doing it!

You cannot make this shit up....unbelievable the hold dead nicotine containing dry leaves can have on us....dreaming about it. I guess the positive is I am dreaming about failing and not romanticizing using tobacco. Tells me the real fear in my mind is failing and not the desire to go back. That makes me (us) Resolute Bastards!

I had my 3rd nic mare last night in a month. Dreamed that I was driving in the truck at night and had 2 tins in the center console. What I was doing with 2 tins in the truck of ANY KIND of chew I don't know...but that's the weird shit dreams are made of. At any rate, one tin was Cope, one tin was fake dip. So I grabbed the fake dip tin in the dark and loaded up a fatty for my trip to the store. I'm still technically quit because it's fake, right? Then I start having a massive panic attack because now I think I might have grabbed the real stuff. So I pull over to the side of the road, turn on the dome light, look down and BOTH fucking cans were real dip. Oh you dirty motherf***ing nic bitch!

Why does our subconscious torture us in dreams like that?

[SAM83]

Day 40 started with my second nic-mare.  I say nic-mare because it was a smoking dream.  Really strange to me that in both my dreams my mind goes back to cigarettes (smoked for about 20+ years before changing delivery system to Copenhagen 12 years ago).  It was the '80's, working at a Wilderness School for Youth Offenders, it was Christmas.  We always had a huge dinner and invited members of the local community, families of staff and residents in for a huge feast followed by Christmas Carols.  This was the 80's....you could still smoke in public places in fact I used to smoke right in our dining hall after a good meal....right in front of the kids....never thought anything about it.  My entire immediate family (mom/dad/sister/brother/grandparents) had all showed up (they never actually made it there in reality for a Christmas Dinner)....the meal was over, the carols had begun and my grand father leaned over and said, "I did not realize you smoked"...AAAAHHHHHH, how the fuck did that cigarette get in my hand...I threw it down in disgust, mind racing how did that happen?, did I take a puff? did I cave?....wake up...realize its only a nic-mare....get up, head for the coffee pot, habitually sweep mouth with tongue in case I fell asleep with a dip last night.....welcome to day 40 you fucking addict.  Good to be here and quit.

Damn Nic Bitch, huh?!? Nice present to celebrate your 40 days! Actually maybe it is a blessing, by helping solidify your resolve that much more. You have a good quit going on, keep it strong! I enjoy reading your posts and am proud to quit with you.

Congrats again, you're doing it!

You cannot make this shit up....unbelievable the hold dead nicotine containing dry leaves can have on us....dreaming about it. I guess the positive is I am dreaming about failing and not romanticizing using tobacco. Tells me the real fear in my mind is failing and not the desire to go back. That makes me (us) Resolute Bastards!

[brettlees]

Day 40 started with my second nic-mare. I say nic-mare because it was a smoking dream. Really strange to me that in both my dreams my mind goes back to cigarettes (smoked for about 20+ years before changing delivery system to Copenhagen 12 years ago). It was the '80's, working at a Wilderness School for Youth Offenders, it was Christmas. We always had a huge dinner and invited members of the local community, families of staff and residents in for a huge feast followed by Christmas Carols. This was the 80's....you could still smoke in public places in fact I used to smoke right in our dining hall after a good meal....right in front of the kids....never thought anything about it. My entire immediate family (mom/dad/sister/brother/grandparents) had all showed up (they never actually made it there in reality for a Christmas Dinner)....the meal was over, the carols had begun and my grand father leaned over and said, "I did not realize you smoked"...AAAAHHHHHH, how the fuck did that cigarette get in my hand...I threw it down in disgust, mind racing how did that happen?, did I take a puff? did I cave?....wake up...realize its only a nic-mare....get up, head for the coffee pot, habitually sweep mouth with tongue in case I fell asleep with a dip last night.....welcome to day 40 you fucking addict. Good to be here and quit.

Damn Nic Bitch, huh?!? Nice present to celebrate your 40 days! Actually maybe it is a blessing, by helping solidify your resolve that much more. You have a good quit going on, keep it strong! I enjoy reading your posts and am proud to quit with you.

Congrats again, you're doing it!

[Done w/ dip]

Congrads of 40 BRO, inspirational to the rest of us. ;Ironman: