Lenten quitter

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

I hardly think my post of asking how some of the other KTC members have handled nic users is "holier than thou".

If my post said "I have a client who is an old chewing buddy, and he dissed me when I told him to quit" then yes, that would have been holier than thou. All I did is told him I quit when he gave me a curious look.

There are certain folks on this site that like to read things into stuff that isn't there?

You are absolutely right, my bad. Let me rephrase that.

So my question is, how much, if any, should I have hit him with the truth hammer?

None!

Why not Grady? Just curious.

Everyone has an opinion - ask politely if they are interested in quitting then wait .......it's been over two years and one of my dipping buddies asked me about 3 weeks ago. It's got to be 100% their decision just like it had to be 100% our decision to quit.

Dead sexy avatar by the way !!

First off, this is a complicated subject and I'm sure people's opinions will be different.

I think it varies by situation. You have to "read" the user somewhat and not go solely based on his/her words. It depends how close you are to them, whether or not they have children, how much you care about them, etc.

If you can hit them with a truth hammer then why not? Feelings heal easier than lymph nodes, salivary glands, and lungs. I say preach if your gut tells you to. Granted, there are those addicts who will refuse to face the fact that they are addicted and they will probably take offense. But some people need a slap across the face sometimes.

What if it was your 18 year old kid who was chewing? Would you just wait and lead by example? Or bring down the truth hammer?

[cbird65]

I hardly think my post of asking how some of the other KTC members have handled nic users is "holier than thou".

If my post said "I have a client who is an old chewing buddy, and he dissed me when I told him to quit" then yes, that would have been holier than thou. All I did is told him I quit when he gave me a curious look.

There are certain folks on this site that like to read things into stuff that isn't there?

You are absolutely right, my bad. Let me rephrase that.

So my question is, how much, if any, should I have hit him with the truth hammer?

None!

Why not Grady? Just curious.

Everyone has an opinion - ask politely if they are interested in quitting then wait .......it's been over two years and one of my dipping buddies asked me about 3 weeks ago. It's got to be 100% their decision just like it had to be 100% our decision to quit.

Dead sexy avatar by the way !!

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

I hardly think my post of asking how some of the other KTC members have handled nic users is "holier than thou".

If my post said "I have a client who is an old chewing buddy, and he dissed me when I told him to quit" then yes, that would have been holier than thou. All I did is told him I quit when he gave me a curious look.

There are certain folks on this site that like to read things into stuff that isn't there?

You are absolutely right, my bad. Let me rephrase that.

So my question is, how much, if any, should I have hit him with the truth hammer?

None!

Why not Grady? Just curious.

[Grady]

I hardly think my post of asking how some of the other KTC members have handled nic users is "holier than thou".

If my post said "I have a client who is an old chewing buddy, and he dissed me when I told him to quit" then yes, that would have been holier than thou. All I did is told him I quit when he gave me a curious look.

There are certain folks on this site that like to read things into stuff that isn't there?

You are absolutely right, my bad. Let me rephrase that.

So my question is, how much, if any, should I have hit him with the truth hammer?

None!

[Thumblewort]

I hardly think my post of asking how some of the other KTC members have handled nic users is "holier than thou".

If my post said "I have a client who is an old chewing buddy, and he dissed me when I told him to quit" then yes, that would have been holier than thou. All I did is told him I quit when he gave me a curious look.

There are certain folks on this site that like to read things into stuff that isn't there?

[Grady]

Question for all, how much do you preach quitting to your friends/family that still use. I just met with a client who dips. I know because we used to have our meetings at noon and shut the conference room door and dip while discussing his books. Fast forward to today with me being 25 days quit, and watching him pack one. He looked at me and of course I said I quit, but he showed no interest in that.

So my question is, how much, if any, should I have hit him with the truth hammer? Or is it always better to let a user come to you? I would love to share this site and my new knowledge with users, but I don't want to be spitting in the wind either.

What would you have said to someone that started to preach to you say.. 6 months ago when you probably didn't have the slightest thought of quitting? A couple of weeks ago when I was TRYING to quit, prior to finding my new home @ KTC. I told a buddie of mine ( he's 50 by the way) that I was quitting. He said to me verbatim, do not even fuckin think of asking me to quit because I will never quit. And last week, again prior to KTC, I was struggling. He said to me, now isn't a good time for you to quit, you should try again later. How's that for support?

I learned years ago through the AA program, unless someone comes to you and asks for help, you keep your mouth shut and focus on your recovery or your quit. Think about this and this is not intended to offend you but honestly you've been 25 days quit and now you're a holier than thou? That's not how it works. You quit, you worry about you, if someone reaches out for help, you help.

[Derk40]

All good replies, I think at this point I'll mention I am quit, buy some KTC gear, and they can ask if they want to.

Get a KTC tat on your neck. That will get the point across.

[Thumblewort]

All good replies, I think at this point I'll mention I am quit, buy some KTC gear, and they can ask if they want to.

[thewolfe]

Question for all, how much do you preach quitting to your friends/family that still use. I just met with a client who dips. I know because we used to have our meetings at noon and shut the conference room door and dip while discussing his books. Fast forward to today with me being 25 days quit, and watching him pack one. He looked at me and of course I said I quit, but he showed no interest in that.

So my question is, how much, if any, should I have hit him with the truth hammer? Or is it always better to let a user come to you? I would love to share this site and my new knowledge with users, but I don't want to be spitting in the wind either.

I think a lot of what I read on this site is that no one will actually successfully quit until THEY are ready. Anyone pushing a person to quit usually ends up being resented.

I wouldn't bother to preach. Everyone knows the evils of their dip/cigs/cigars.

They will do it if, and when, they are ready.

Like me.. No one said shit to me about dipping.. My wife didn't complain... I just decided on 1 APRIL that enough was enough and quit. Thankfully I found this site on 2 APRIL or I would most likely not have made it to day 27. I suspect that if my wife HAD pushed me to do it when I wasn't ready I would probably not be here on D27.

BTW, she smokes (even chewed when she fought wildfires). I didn't say anything to her about quitting in years but once she found out I was quit, she stopped. hmmm. We will see where this goes..

[T-Cell]

Question for all, how much do you preach quitting to your friends/family that still use. I just met with a client who dips. I know because we used to have our meetings at noon and shut the conference room door and dip while discussing his books. Fast forward to today with me being 25 days quit, and watching him pack one. He looked at me and of course I said I quit, but he showed no interest in that.

So my question is, how much, if any, should I have hit him with the truth hammer? Or is it always better to let a user come to you? I would love to share this site and my new knowledge with users, but I don't want to be spitting in the wind either.

My thought is that if he was ready to quit or even wanting to quit he would have shown some interest in how you were doing it. I know that until I was ready to quit I didn't want to hear shit about it from anyone. I am always ready to talk about quitting with people I know but I refrain from getting in their face about it. I don't want to het hit.

My two cents is that I consider what I was like before quitting. Let them know you are quit and they can quit too but it's hard. If they are receptive they wi want to know more. If they are more like I was most of my using years, if you push much more their inner addict will become easily defensive and you will be dismisses as "holier than thou" if you push it much more. By not pushing you actually will serve as a role model in their mind secretly give them hope for later at least. I don't believe anyone will succeed unti they really want to though. Can't make them drink.

I agree with both responses. A user has to be ready to become a quitter. Those that show up here without serious conviction about quitting don't last very long. When I was an active user, I probably would have taken offense until the last couple years of use....
Having said that, I take every opportunity to mention there is help for quitting to those I see/know are still using. I try hard to not preach, simply let them know I will share with them if they are ready. Ran across a dude on the bus I ride in the morning. Probably late 30s early 40s, business casual, with both a spitter and a huge lipper in. He looks like an idiot (same way I probably looked for almost 4 decades), I couldn't help myself for suggesting there was an alternative to using... He was polite enough, but not ready.

[brettlees]

Question for all, how much do you preach quitting to your friends/family that still use. I just met with a client who dips. I know because we used to have our meetings at noon and shut the conference room door and dip while discussing his books. Fast forward to today with me being 25 days quit, and watching him pack one. He looked at me and of course I said I quit, but he showed no interest in that.

So my question is, how much, if any, should I have hit him with the truth hammer? Or is it always better to let a user come to you? I would love to share this site and my new knowledge with users, but I don't want to be spitting in the wind either.

My thought is that if he was ready to quit or even wanting to quit he would have shown some interest in how you were doing it. I know that until I was ready to quit I didn't want to hear shit about it from anyone. I am always ready to talk about quitting with people I know but I refrain from getting in their face about it. I don't want to het hit.

My two cents is that I consider what I was like before quitting. Let them know you are quit and they can quit too but it's hard. If they are receptive they wi want to know more. If they are more like I was most of my using years, if you push much more their inner addict will become easily defensive and you will be dismisses as "holier than thou" if you push it much more. By not pushing you actually will serve as a role model in their mind secretly give them hope for later at least. I don't believe anyone will succeed unti they really want to though. Can't make them drink.

[jayd41]

I bought a roll of the sampler hooch for myself a few weeks ago just for some insurance if i had any bad craves...i've rarely used it...but one of the reasons i bought it was because of the cherry flavor. My cousin who I would also consider my best friend...closest thing to a big brother that i have chews pretty much non stop. Anyhow, we played golf the 2 weeks ago and i told him i was quit and i gave him a tin of the cherry hooch...fast forward to this past weekend he stopped by with another buddy of mine and that guy actually went and grabbed the hooch and threw it on my table. It was unopened. Moral of the story...you can't make someone quit until they are ready to make the commitment. You can only lead by example.

[rdad]

Question for all, how much do you preach quitting to your friends/family that still use. I just met with a client who dips. I know because we used to have our meetings at noon and shut the conference room door and dip while discussing his books. Fast forward to today with me being 25 days quit, and watching him pack one. He looked at me and of course I said I quit, but he showed no interest in that.

So my question is, how much, if any, should I have hit him with the truth hammer? Or is it always better to let a user come to you? I would love to share this site and my new knowledge with users, but I don't want to be spitting in the wind either.

My thought is that if he was ready to quit or even wanting to quit he would have shown some interest in how you were doing it. I know that until I was ready to quit I didn't want to hear shit about it from anyone. I am always ready to talk about quitting with people I know but I refrain from getting in their face about it. I don't want to het hit.

[Thumblewort]

Question for all, how much do you preach quitting to your friends/family that still use. I just met with a client who dips. I know because we used to have our meetings at noon and shut the conference room door and dip while discussing his books. Fast forward to today with me being 25 days quit, and watching him pack one. He looked at me and of course I said I quit, but he showed no interest in that.

So my question is, how much, if any, should I have hit him with the truth hammer? Or is it always better to let a user come to you? I would love to share this site and my new knowledge with users, but I don't want to be spitting in the wind either.

[Thumblewort]

I need help. 2 weeks ago I made a bet with a quitter in chat regarding the NHL and the Red Wings and the Blackhawks. If that was you, please PM me, or if you remember who that was please let me know. I will be making my donation to the KTC soon, but I want to clarify the other part of the bet.