Are caves infectious?.......I am starting to think so.........you know, the group mentality thing. I find myself having the "fuck its" lately. I see a lot of caving around, I see a lot of people who want to make up their own rules about quit, about what is acceptable and what is not. As I sit here this morning getting ready for a very stressful day, I contemplate buying a can for the drive ahead.........WTF right!?! Where the hell does this come in???? "Ahhh, but I would be able to relax, help ease the tension".........Then I hear LOOT (fer fucks sake) in my brain, as if some form of deity speaking from the skies....."Hey numnuts......what do you think that is gunna solve? LOOT wouldn't follow those that jump off bridges.....thats just dumb." followed by every quitter I know here saying the same type of things. My sext group would hamstring, castrate and light my ass on fire (and not in a phlaming way either). So, I choose to put on my big boy pants and deal, without dip, the way a man should. Whats happening? Well, to start off, I have been off for a week now with my truck down, you may have heard the running jokes about my tranny, but it has been a major issue and a major stress point. I got word that all was gunna be ok on thur and had a sigh of relief. So, the wife and I decide to make the best of our time and take the kids to 6 flags since we just saved a ton of money on the tranny. My son and I got off a coaster as people were saying something about someone falling off. My son is 9 and didnt want him to see anything too bad, so not knowing what had really happened, I rushed him down the ramp away from everything so he didnt get too freaked out. Turns out the car behind us (the one still on the track) had thrown a passenger and she died. We didnt find out until 2 hrs later when trying to get back in the same area when a lady from the park came up and described in great detail (in front of the kids) about what happened and how she died (graphically). Just fucking great!! You could see the trauma on my sons face as he realized it was the ride we were on. I dont know why, but this shook me up pretty good. It was a look at mortality and how fragile it is. I could ramble all day about it but I wont. I have no idea why it is still haunting me this morning, I have seen worse in wrecks on the road, but for some reason, this one I cant just shake off. Its weird. Well, yesterday I get a call from my mechanic and he tells me that there is now another problem with the transmission (clarified for wedges sake) and there will be more of a delay today. I have to get down there (4 hrs away) to make sure this shit is gunna get done today because I am out of time and money to be sitting on my ass. Life sucks. It throws us so much at one time. It piles up. It feels unassailable at times and thats what it feels like for me today. I have to be honest with everyone and say, yes, I would like to have a dip today, but I wont, I promised, I dont think it will be an easy promise to keep today, but I will. Just because I have all of you jackasses in my head cheering me on in quit and in life. I wanna say "fuck you all" (thank you) in the most sincerest fashion.
Roam- 457
Seriously I saw that on the news and wondered if one of my dip brothers were there.
Roam nice words and thoughts for me to chew on. Keep on quitting. The cycle is if we all stay quit, we are on the verge of a recovery breakthrough.
So enjoy the shitty feeling today. You will have a better grasp on how great is feels soon.
I am on a long drive to nashville TN. August 8-10th. I think Its my turn to buy the steak dinner.
Bring the Tranny. I'm driving my son to school. You could meet my son and the Mrs.
Roam-
Thank you for the inspiration to stay quit. Posts like this help swing the group mentality to where it should be- posting role call and remaining nicotine free.
Damn Roam,
That is intense brother. Hey your promise to us a enough to stay quit, and us in your head saying things like "it won't help" you won't feel better" is a good reason too. But at the end of the day remember you quit for you. You don't want a dip, your addiction does. You want to be quit and went thru hell to get there. You owe us your word, but you owe you your quit! I quit with you!
I will stand side-by-side, with Roam, his tranny, and his big boy pants all day, every day. You got this today. See you on roll tomorrow.
ah man. I wanted the tranny
Great post Roam, thanks for sharing. And congratulations for making through a rough day!
Roam, I hope things begin to get better for you man. I know they will. You are just being tested right now. Well my money is on you all the way.
Life is a series of ups and downs, nicotine never had the power to make any of it better. We gave that shit way to much credit. It never really did shit for us but cure the withdrawal, and that felt good, real good, (for a minute). And all that time we were brainwashed into thinking "the fix" was this great thing that we needed.
You were the first guy to reach out to me in my quit. It concerns me to see you struggle, but I know it is just another hurdle in your quit journey. A hurdle that you will clear. I quit with you today Roam. Keep us posted on the turn around.
Ryan
The ode has been written and answer I must
Or iizphillister will burst out of lust
The tranny is done and I'm back on the road
I woke up this morning and laughed at my ode
This place is strong with support and cheerleaders
But as for the weak, you'll see nothing but bleeders
Thanks for all the texts and fun poking
Down the road is where I'll be stroking
Wait, that didnt sound just quite right
You quitters will be making more fun now at night
But its the jeering and peering that make it bearable
To keep this quitter going down the road unfearable
My quit is strong despite the hard times
Because of you gheys and all of your chimes
So keep the quit strong and spread it around
While I keep all the rubber facing the ground.
shocker
