New Quitter

[Tazbutane]

Are caves infectious?.......I am starting to think so.........you know, the group mentality thing.  I find myself having the "fuck its" lately.  I see a lot of caving around, I see a lot of people who want to make up their own rules about quit, about what is acceptable and what is not.  As I sit here this morning getting ready for a very stressful day, I contemplate buying a can for the drive ahead.........WTF right!?! Where the hell does this come in???? "Ahhh, but I would be able to relax, help ease the tension".........Then I hear LOOT (fer fucks sake) in my brain, as if some form of deity speaking from the skies....."Hey numnuts......what do you think that is gunna solve? LOOT wouldn't follow those that jump off bridges.....thats just dumb." followed by every quitter I know here saying the same type of things.  My sext group would hamstring, castrate and light my ass on fire (and not in a phlaming way either).  So, I choose to put on my big boy pants and deal, without dip, the way a man should.  Whats happening? Well, to start off, I have been off for a week now with my truck down, you may have heard the running jokes about my tranny,  but it has been a major issue and a major stress point.  I got word that all was gunna be ok on thur and had a sigh of relief.  So, the wife and I decide to make the best of our time and take the kids to 6 flags since we just saved a ton of money on the tranny.  My son and I got off a coaster as people were saying something about someone falling off.  My son is 9 and didnt want him to see anything too bad, so not knowing what had really happened, I rushed him down the ramp away from everything so he didnt get too freaked out. Turns out the car behind us (the one still on the track) had thrown a passenger and she died.  We didnt find out until 2 hrs later when trying to get back in the same area when a lady from the park came up and described in great detail (in front of the kids) about what happened and how she died (graphically).  Just fucking great!! You could see the trauma on my sons face as he realized it was the ride we were on.  I dont know why, but this shook me up pretty good. It was a look at mortality and how fragile it is.  I could ramble all day about it but I wont.  I have no idea why it is still haunting me this morning, I have seen worse in wrecks on the road, but for some reason, this one I cant just shake off. Its weird.  Well, yesterday I get a call from my mechanic and he tells me that there is now another problem with the transmission (clarified for wedges sake) and there will be more of a delay today.  I have to get down there (4 hrs away) to make sure this shit is gunna get done today because I am out of time and money to be sitting on my ass.  Life sucks.  It throws us so much at one time.  It piles up.  It feels unassailable at times and thats what it feels like for me today.  I have to be honest with everyone and say, yes, I would like to have a dip today, but I wont, I promised, I dont think it will be an easy promise to keep today, but I will.  Just because I have all of you jackasses in my head cheering me on in quit and in life.  I wanna say "fuck you all" (thank you) in the most sincerest fashion.
Roam- 457

Seriously I saw that on the news and wondered if one of my dip brothers were there.

Roam nice words and thoughts for me to chew on. Keep on quitting. The cycle is if we all stay quit, we are on the verge of a recovery breakthrough.

So enjoy the shitty feeling today. You will have a better grasp on how great is feels soon.

I am on a long drive to nashville TN. August 8-10th. I think Its my turn to buy the steak dinner.

Bring the Tranny. I'm driving my son to school. You could meet my son and the Mrs.

Roam-

Thank you for the inspiration to stay quit. Posts like this help swing the group mentality to where it should be- posting role call and remaining nicotine free.

Damn Roam,

That is intense brother. Hey your promise to us a enough to stay quit, and us in your head saying things like "it won't help" you won't feel better" is a good reason too. But at the end of the day remember you quit for you. You don't want a dip, your addiction does. You want to be quit and went thru hell to get there. You owe us your word, but you owe you your quit! I quit with you!

I will stand side-by-side, with Roam, his tranny, and his big boy pants all day, every day. You got this today. See you on roll tomorrow.

ah man. I wanted the tranny

Great post Roam, thanks for sharing. And congratulations for making through a rough day!

[tarpon17]

Are caves infectious?.......I am starting to think so.........you know, the group mentality thing.  I find myself having the "fuck its" lately.  I see a lot of caving around, I see a lot of people who want to make up their own rules about quit, about what is acceptable and what is not.  As I sit here this morning getting ready for a very stressful day, I contemplate buying a can for the drive ahead.........WTF right!?! Where the hell does this come in???? "Ahhh, but I would be able to relax, help ease the tension".........Then I hear LOOT (fer fucks sake) in my brain, as if some form of deity speaking from the skies....."Hey numnuts......what do you think that is gunna solve? LOOT wouldn't follow those that jump off bridges.....thats just dumb." followed by every quitter I know here saying the same type of things.  My sext group would hamstring, castrate and light my ass on fire (and not in a phlaming way either).  So, I choose to put on my big boy pants and deal, without dip, the way a man should.  Whats happening? Well, to start off, I have been off for a week now with my truck down, you may have heard the running jokes about my tranny,  but it has been a major issue and a major stress point.  I got word that all was gunna be ok on thur and had a sigh of relief.  So, the wife and I decide to make the best of our time and take the kids to 6 flags since we just saved a ton of money on the tranny.  My son and I got off a coaster as people were saying something about someone falling off.  My son is 9 and didnt want him to see anything too bad, so not knowing what had really happened, I rushed him down the ramp away from everything so he didnt get too freaked out. Turns out the car behind us (the one still on the track) had thrown a passenger and she died.  We didnt find out until 2 hrs later when trying to get back in the same area when a lady from the park came up and described in great detail (in front of the kids) about what happened and how she died (graphically).  Just fucking great!! You could see the trauma on my sons face as he realized it was the ride we were on.  I dont know why, but this shook me up pretty good. It was a look at mortality and how fragile it is.  I could ramble all day about it but I wont.  I have no idea why it is still haunting me this morning, I have seen worse in wrecks on the road, but for some reason, this one I cant just shake off. Its weird.  Well, yesterday I get a call from my mechanic and he tells me that there is now another problem with the transmission (clarified for wedges sake) and there will be more of a delay today.  I have to get down there (4 hrs away) to make sure this shit is gunna get done today because I am out of time and money to be sitting on my ass.  Life sucks.  It throws us so much at one time.  It piles up.  It feels unassailable at times and thats what it feels like for me today.  I have to be honest with everyone and say, yes, I would like to have a dip today, but I wont, I promised, I dont think it will be an easy promise to keep today, but I will.  Just because I have all of you jackasses in my head cheering me on in quit and in life.  I wanna say "fuck you all" (thank you) in the most sincerest fashion.
Roam- 457

Seriously I saw that on the news and wondered if one of my dip brothers were there.

Roam nice words and thoughts for me to chew on. Keep on quitting. The cycle is if we all stay quit, we are on the verge of a recovery breakthrough.

So enjoy the shitty feeling today. You will have a better grasp on how great is feels soon.

I am on a long drive to nashville TN. August 8-10th. I think Its my turn to buy the steak dinner.

Bring the Tranny. I'm driving my son to school. You could meet my son and the Mrs.

Roam-

Thank you for the inspiration to stay quit. Posts like this help swing the group mentality to where it should be- posting role call and remaining nicotine free.

Damn Roam,

That is intense brother. Hey your promise to us a enough to stay quit, and us in your head saying things like "it won't help" you won't feel better" is a good reason too. But at the end of the day remember you quit for you. You don't want a dip, your addiction does. You want to be quit and went thru hell to get there. You owe us your word, but you owe you your quit! I quit with you!

I will stand side-by-side, with Roam, his tranny, and his big boy pants all day, every day. You got this today. See you on roll tomorrow.

ah man. I wanted the tranny

[TSNUS]

Damn proud to be quit with you today Roam!

[Evil_Won]

Are caves infectious?.......I am starting to think so.........you know, the group mentality thing.  I find myself having the "fuck its" lately.  I see a lot of caving around, I see a lot of people who want to make up their own rules about quit, about what is acceptable and what is not.  As I sit here this morning getting ready for a very stressful day, I contemplate buying a can for the drive ahead.........WTF right!?! Where the hell does this come in???? "Ahhh, but I would be able to relax, help ease the tension".........Then I hear LOOT (fer fucks sake) in my brain, as if some form of deity speaking from the skies....."Hey numnuts......what do you think that is gunna solve? LOOT wouldn't follow those that jump off bridges.....thats just dumb." followed by every quitter I know here saying the same type of things.  My sext group would hamstring, castrate and light my ass on fire (and not in a phlaming way either).  So, I choose to put on my big boy pants and deal, without dip, the way a man should.  Whats happening? Well, to start off, I have been off for a week now with my truck down, you may have heard the running jokes about my tranny,  but it has been a major issue and a major stress point.  I got word that all was gunna be ok on thur and had a sigh of relief.  So, the wife and I decide to make the best of our time and take the kids to 6 flags since we just saved a ton of money on the tranny.  My son and I got off a coaster as people were saying something about someone falling off.  My son is 9 and didnt want him to see anything too bad, so not knowing what had really happened, I rushed him down the ramp away from everything so he didnt get too freaked out. Turns out the car behind us (the one still on the track) had thrown a passenger and she died.  We didnt find out until 2 hrs later when trying to get back in the same area when a lady from the park came up and described in great detail (in front of the kids) about what happened and how she died (graphically).  Just fucking great!! You could see the trauma on my sons face as he realized it was the ride we were on.  I dont know why, but this shook me up pretty good. It was a look at mortality and how fragile it is.  I could ramble all day about it but I wont.  I have no idea why it is still haunting me this morning, I have seen worse in wrecks on the road, but for some reason, this one I cant just shake off. Its weird.  Well, yesterday I get a call from my mechanic and he tells me that there is now another problem with the transmission (clarified for wedges sake) and there will be more of a delay today.  I have to get down there (4 hrs away) to make sure this shit is gunna get done today because I am out of time and money to be sitting on my ass.  Life sucks.  It throws us so much at one time.  It piles up.  It feels unassailable at times and thats what it feels like for me today.  I have to be honest with everyone and say, yes, I would like to have a dip today, but I wont, I promised, I dont think it will be an easy promise to keep today, but I will.  Just because I have all of you jackasses in my head cheering me on in quit and in life.  I wanna say "fuck you all" (thank you) in the most sincerest fashion.
Roam- 457

Seriously I saw that on the news and wondered if one of my dip brothers were there.

Roam nice words and thoughts for me to chew on. Keep on quitting. The cycle is if we all stay quit, we are on the verge of a recovery breakthrough.

So enjoy the shitty feeling today. You will have a better grasp on how great is feels soon.

I am on a long drive to nashville TN. August 8-10th. I think Its my turn to buy the steak dinner.

Bring the Tranny. I'm driving my son to school. You could meet my son and the Mrs.

Roam-

Thank you for the inspiration to stay quit. Posts like this help swing the group mentality to where it should be- posting role call and remaining nicotine free.

Damn Roam,

That is intense brother. Hey your promise to us a enough to stay quit, and us in your head saying things like "it won't help" you won't feel better" is a good reason too. But at the end of the day remember you quit for you. You don't want a dip, your addiction does. You want to be quit and went thru hell to get there. You owe us your word, but you owe you your quit! I quit with you!

I will stand side-by-side, with Roam, his tranny, and his big boy pants all day, every day. You got this today. See you on roll tomorrow.

[Erussell]

Are caves infectious?.......I am starting to think so.........you know, the group mentality thing.  I find myself having the "fuck its" lately.  I see a lot of caving around, I see a lot of people who want to make up their own rules about quit, about what is acceptable and what is not.  As I sit here this morning getting ready for a very stressful day, I contemplate buying a can for the drive ahead.........WTF right!?! Where the hell does this come in???? "Ahhh, but I would be able to relax, help ease the tension".........Then I hear LOOT (fer fucks sake) in my brain, as if some form of deity speaking from the skies....."Hey numnuts......what do you think that is gunna solve? LOOT wouldn't follow those that jump off bridges.....thats just dumb." followed by every quitter I know here saying the same type of things.  My sext group would hamstring, castrate and light my ass on fire (and not in a phlaming way either).  So, I choose to put on my big boy pants and deal, without dip, the way a man should.  Whats happening? Well, to start off, I have been off for a week now with my truck down, you may have heard the running jokes about my tranny,  but it has been a major issue and a major stress point.  I got word that all was gunna be ok on thur and had a sigh of relief.  So, the wife and I decide to make the best of our time and take the kids to 6 flags since we just saved a ton of money on the tranny.  My son and I got off a coaster as people were saying something about someone falling off.  My son is 9 and didnt want him to see anything too bad, so not knowing what had really happened, I rushed him down the ramp away from everything so he didnt get too freaked out. Turns out the car behind us (the one still on the track) had thrown a passenger and she died.  We didnt find out until 2 hrs later when trying to get back in the same area when a lady from the park came up and described in great detail (in front of the kids) about what happened and how she died (graphically).  Just fucking great!! You could see the trauma on my sons face as he realized it was the ride we were on.  I dont know why, but this shook me up pretty good. It was a look at mortality and how fragile it is.  I could ramble all day about it but I wont.  I have no idea why it is still haunting me this morning, I have seen worse in wrecks on the road, but for some reason, this one I cant just shake off. Its weird.  Well, yesterday I get a call from my mechanic and he tells me that there is now another problem with the transmission (clarified for wedges sake) and there will be more of a delay today.  I have to get down there (4 hrs away) to make sure this shit is gunna get done today because I am out of time and money to be sitting on my ass.  Life sucks.  It throws us so much at one time.  It piles up.  It feels unassailable at times and thats what it feels like for me today.  I have to be honest with everyone and say, yes, I would like to have a dip today, but I wont, I promised, I dont think it will be an easy promise to keep today, but I will.  Just because I have all of you jackasses in my head cheering me on in quit and in life.  I wanna say "fuck you all" (thank you) in the most sincerest fashion.
Roam- 457

Seriously I saw that on the news and wondered if one of my dip brothers were there.

Roam nice words and thoughts for me to chew on. Keep on quitting. The cycle is if we all stay quit, we are on the verge of a recovery breakthrough.

So enjoy the shitty feeling today. You will have a better grasp on how great is feels soon.

I am on a long drive to nashville TN. August 8-10th. I think Its my turn to buy the steak dinner.

Bring the Tranny. I'm driving my son to school. You could meet my son and the Mrs.

Roam-

Thank you for the inspiration to stay quit. Posts like this help swing the group mentality to where it should be- posting role call and remaining nicotine free.

Damn Roam,

That is intense brother. Hey your promise to us a enough to stay quit, and us in your head saying things like "it won't help" you won't feel better" is a good reason too. But at the end of the day remember you quit for you. You don't want a dip, your addiction does. You want to be quit and went thru hell to get there. You owe us your word, but you owe you your quit! I quit with you!

[Dougie]

Are caves infectious?.......I am starting to think so.........you know, the group mentality thing.  I find myself having the "fuck its" lately.  I see a lot of caving around, I see a lot of people who want to make up their own rules about quit, about what is acceptable and what is not.  As I sit here this morning getting ready for a very stressful day, I contemplate buying a can for the drive ahead.........WTF right!?! Where the hell does this come in???? "Ahhh, but I would be able to relax, help ease the tension".........Then I hear LOOT (fer fucks sake) in my brain, as if some form of deity speaking from the skies....."Hey numnuts......what do you think that is gunna solve? LOOT wouldn't follow those that jump off bridges.....thats just dumb." followed by every quitter I know here saying the same type of things.  My sext group would hamstring, castrate and light my ass on fire (and not in a phlaming way either).  So, I choose to put on my big boy pants and deal, without dip, the way a man should.  Whats happening? Well, to start off, I have been off for a week now with my truck down, you may have heard the running jokes about my tranny,  but it has been a major issue and a major stress point.  I got word that all was gunna be ok on thur and had a sigh of relief.  So, the wife and I decide to make the best of our time and take the kids to 6 flags since we just saved a ton of money on the tranny.  My son and I got off a coaster as people were saying something about someone falling off.  My son is 9 and didnt want him to see anything too bad, so not knowing what had really happened, I rushed him down the ramp away from everything so he didnt get too freaked out. Turns out the car behind us (the one still on the track) had thrown a passenger and she died.  We didnt find out until 2 hrs later when trying to get back in the same area when a lady from the park came up and described in great detail (in front of the kids) about what happened and how she died (graphically).  Just fucking great!! You could see the trauma on my sons face as he realized it was the ride we were on.  I dont know why, but this shook me up pretty good. It was a look at mortality and how fragile it is.  I could ramble all day about it but I wont.  I have no idea why it is still haunting me this morning, I have seen worse in wrecks on the road, but for some reason, this one I cant just shake off. Its weird.  Well, yesterday I get a call from my mechanic and he tells me that there is now another problem with the transmission (clarified for wedges sake) and there will be more of a delay today.  I have to get down there (4 hrs away) to make sure this shit is gunna get done today because I am out of time and money to be sitting on my ass.  Life sucks.  It throws us so much at one time.  It piles up.  It feels unassailable at times and thats what it feels like for me today.  I have to be honest with everyone and say, yes, I would like to have a dip today, but I wont, I promised, I dont think it will be an easy promise to keep today, but I will.  Just because I have all of you jackasses in my head cheering me on in quit and in life.  I wanna say "fuck you all" (thank you) in the most sincerest fashion.
Roam- 457

Seriously I saw that on the news and wondered if one of my dip brothers were there.

Roam nice words and thoughts for me to chew on. Keep on quitting. The cycle is if we all stay quit, we are on the verge of a recovery breakthrough.

So enjoy the shitty feeling today. You will have a better grasp on how great is feels soon.

I am on a long drive to nashville TN. August 8-10th. I think Its my turn to buy the steak dinner.

Bring the Tranny. I'm driving my son to school. You could meet my son and the Mrs.

Roam-

Thank you for the inspiration to stay quit. Posts like this help swing the group mentality to where it should be- posting role call and remaining nicotine free.

[Mthomas3824]

Are caves infectious?.......I am starting to think so.........you know, the group mentality thing. I find myself having the "fuck its" lately. I see a lot of caving around, I see a lot of people who want to make up their own rules about quit, about what is acceptable and what is not. As I sit here this morning getting ready for a very stressful day, I contemplate buying a can for the drive ahead.........WTF right!?! Where the hell does this come in???? "Ahhh, but I would be able to relax, help ease the tension".........Then I hear LOOT (fer fucks sake) in my brain, as if some form of deity speaking from the skies....."Hey numnuts......what do you think that is gunna solve? LOOT wouldn't follow those that jump off bridges.....thats just dumb." followed by every quitter I know here saying the same type of things. My sext group would hamstring, castrate and light my ass on fire (and not in a phlaming way either). So, I choose to put on my big boy pants and deal, without dip, the way a man should. Whats happening? Well, to start off, I have been off for a week now with my truck down, you may have heard the running jokes about my tranny, but it has been a major issue and a major stress point. I got word that all was gunna be ok on thur and had a sigh of relief. So, the wife and I decide to make the best of our time and take the kids to 6 flags since we just saved a ton of money on the tranny. My son and I got off a coaster as people were saying something about someone falling off. My son is 9 and didnt want him to see anything too bad, so not knowing what had really happened, I rushed him down the ramp away from everything so he didnt get too freaked out. Turns out the car behind us (the one still on the track) had thrown a passenger and she died. We didnt find out until 2 hrs later when trying to get back in the same area when a lady from the park came up and described in great detail (in front of the kids) about what happened and how she died (graphically). Just fucking great!! You could see the trauma on my sons face as he realized it was the ride we were on. I dont know why, but this shook me up pretty good. It was a look at mortality and how fragile it is. I could ramble all day about it but I wont. I have no idea why it is still haunting me this morning, I have seen worse in wrecks on the road, but for some reason, this one I cant just shake off. Its weird. Well, yesterday I get a call from my mechanic and he tells me that there is now another problem with the transmission (clarified for wedges sake) and there will be more of a delay today. I have to get down there (4 hrs away) to make sure this shit is gunna get done today because I am out of time and money to be sitting on my ass. Life sucks. It throws us so much at one time. It piles up. It feels unassailable at times and thats what it feels like for me today. I have to be honest with everyone and say, yes, I would like to have a dip today, but I wont, I promised, I dont think it will be an easy promise to keep today, but I will. Just because I have all of you jackasses in my head cheering me on in quit and in life. I wanna say "fuck you all" (thank you) in the most sincerest fashion.
Roam- 457

Seriously I saw that on the news and wondered if one of my dip brothers were there.

Roam nice words and thoughts for me to chew on. Keep on quitting. The cycle is if we all stay quit, we are on the verge of a recovery breakthrough.

So enjoy the shitty feeling today. You will have a better grasp on how great is feels soon.

I am on a long drive to nashville TN. August 8-10th. I think Its my turn to buy the steak dinner.

Bring the Tranny. I'm driving my son to school. You could meet my son and the Mrs.

[Roamcountry]

Are caves infectious?.......I am starting to think so.........you know, the group mentality thing. I find myself having the "fuck its" lately. I see a lot of caving around, I see a lot of people who want to make up their own rules about quit, about what is acceptable and what is not. As I sit here this morning getting ready for a very stressful day, I contemplate buying a can for the drive ahead.........WTF right!?! Where the hell does this come in???? "Ahhh, but I would be able to relax, help ease the tension".........Then I hear LOOT (fer fucks sake) in my brain, as if some form of deity speaking from the skies....."Hey numnuts......what do you think that is gunna solve? LOOT wouldn't follow those that jump off bridges.....thats just dumb." followed by every quitter I know here saying the same type of things. My sext group would hamstring, castrate and light my ass on fire (and not in a phlaming way either). So, I choose to put on my big boy pants and deal, without dip, the way a man should. Whats happening? Well, to start off, I have been off for a week now with my truck down, you may have heard the running jokes about my tranny, but it has been a major issue and a major stress point. I got word that all was gunna be ok on thur and had a sigh of relief. So, the wife and I decide to make the best of our time and take the kids to 6 flags since we just saved a ton of money on the tranny. My son and I got off a coaster as people were saying something about someone falling off. My son is 9 and didnt want him to see anything too bad, so not knowing what had really happened, I rushed him down the ramp away from everything so he didnt get too freaked out. Turns out the car behind us (the one still on the track) had thrown a passenger and she died. We didnt find out until 2 hrs later when trying to get back in the same area when a lady from the park came up and described in great detail (in front of the kids) about what happened and how she died (graphically). Just fucking great!! You could see the trauma on my sons face as he realized it was the ride we were on. I dont know why, but this shook me up pretty good. It was a look at mortality and how fragile it is. I could ramble all day about it but I wont. I have no idea why it is still haunting me this morning, I have seen worse in wrecks on the road, but for some reason, this one I cant just shake off. Its weird. Well, yesterday I get a call from my mechanic and he tells me that there is now another problem with the transmission (clarified for wedges sake) and there will be more of a delay today. I have to get down there (4 hrs away) to make sure this shit is gunna get done today because I am out of time and money to be sitting on my ass. Life sucks. It throws us so much at one time. It piles up. It feels unassailable at times and thats what it feels like for me today. I have to be honest with everyone and say, yes, I would like to have a dip today, but I wont, I promised, I dont think it will be an easy promise to keep today, but I will. Just because I have all of you jackasses in my head cheering me on in quit and in life. I wanna say "fuck you all" (thank you) in the most sincerest fashion.
Roam- 457

[Roamcountry]

Never be afraid to reach out.  Yesterday I found myself hyperventilating, I couldn't breathe, I was in a full on panic/anxiety attack.  It was hour by hour.  I wanted the can, I wanted the comfort.  But you see I developed a kick ass support group.  I texted my group feeling like a wuss.  I was honest with them, I didn't want to lose their support, I didn't want to lose thier friendship that we developed over my course of time here.  I never had an anxiety attack before where I couldn't breathe.  Its all work related, but nevertheless my crew came through in true KTC fashion.  Texts of support came pouring in all day and still continue today.  During the course of this, I found out I was not alone in my work situation and I was also not alone in wanting the can back to cope with it.  But I will NOT. And just knowing that I wasn't alone was a big lift for me, I reached out to that brother as well to connect. Its not easy finding new coping skills for these situations. No one promised me it would be.  Theres really nothing anyone can say or do to help my current situation, I just rely on God to carry me through this and I rely on all of you to walk with me in my quit.  Thanks for all the support.  It means a lot to me.  By myself, I am no one, I am nothing, I am weak.  But with all of you by my side, I am 10ft tall, bulletproof, and kick some major fucking ass!!!! If you're in need, if you're in trouble, REACH OUT!!! Its a two way street, use it, do not be afraid just because you don't know someone.  You will be amazed at how much you probably have in common with fellow quitters.

Roamcountry-282

Roam, I've been there too. I've been back and forth and up and down over my 155 days quit. I've been tested and tempted. Last night, as a matter of fact, was REALLY bad for me in the anxiety department. I was cognizant enough to not use, but I REALLY fucking wanted to. And that's only the second time in 155 days I had considered it. Where my mistake was, I should have turned right to the crew instead of just holding onto the tools in my back pocket, as in "Only In Case Of Emergency." I was wrong. My pledge got me through, but I should have turned right to the guys like you did. I applaud you and sympathize with you and what you are experiencing.

Dave

There is a major lesson here for all of us but especially newbies! 1st work on a good strong network of support and get their #'s so you can reach out when your hurting and they can contact you when they are. Roam is one bad ass quitter and has pulled and pushed me through many a night. Most of you would have a hard time believing the hours we spent on the phone talking or texting when everyone else was sleeping. 2nd we all have bad days, weeks and months but we can make it through 1 day and that's all anyone asks. 3rd we've all been pussies at times and probably will be again. But quitting is a very trying experience that can hurt like hell at times. With each victory we gain strength for even greater challenges ahead. 4th and most important for me Roam mentioned "I just rely on God to carry me through this." That reminds me of: Foot Prints in the Sand never underestimate the help from The Lord!
Thank You Roam! You reaching out helped me also. And my prayers are with you, especially Wednesday.

Roam....not sure if this is pure coincidence or not, but I had what I call my first anxiety attack last Monday. Also work related. Felt the room closing in on me. Stepped out of the meeting to get some fresh air - first thing I thought was "man, a big fatty of copenhagen would make this go away."

That was for 1 second as I had 300 days nic free coming up and my brothers to answer to.

Still nic free.

I had another one this week. Problem for me is work is going GREAT. We should trade numbers tho.

I have done some research on the topic. Not sure how old you are, but mid life has an impact and I have found this is completely normal - no matter how shitty.

Here is what I am doing now - if I feel it coming on, I just ask myself, "Am I in real danger?" answer is always no.....and then I breathe deep......

makes everything go away

check your inbox

CleanFuel

This is all some good shit right here, fellas. Must be something in the air as work has been messing with me too. Its odd that even though I have the tools and know I will be fine anxiety can still get to me. I start to think I'm going mental sometimes. I have to remind myself its nic that has done this to me. I chewed that shit for 15 years...gotta keep patient and beat it one day at a time. Fucking whore.

What CleanFuel said X 2. 'worship'

That is some great stuff right there! Man I love this Place!!!


'oh yeah'

See, thats what I'm talking about, you guys are kick ass! Clean, I am 9 months away from the big 4 oh. So that may have some merit there. Thanks brothers. You rock!!

[jhaenel23]

Never be afraid to reach out.  Yesterday I found myself hyperventilating, I couldn't breathe, I was in a full on panic/anxiety attack.  It was hour by hour.  I wanted the can, I wanted the comfort.  But you see I developed a kick ass support group.  I texted my group feeling like a wuss.  I was honest with them, I didn't want to lose their support, I didn't want to lose thier friendship that we developed over my course of time here.  I never had an anxiety attack before where I couldn't breathe.  Its all work related, but nevertheless my crew came through in true KTC fashion.  Texts of support came pouring in all day and still continue today.  During the course of this, I found out I was not alone in my work situation and I was also not alone in wanting the can back to cope with it.  But I will NOT. And just knowing that I wasn't alone was a big lift for me, I reached out to that brother as well to connect. Its not easy finding new coping skills for these situations. No one promised me it would be.  Theres really nothing anyone can say or do to help my current situation, I just rely on God to carry me through this and I rely on all of you to walk with me in my quit.  Thanks for all the support.  It means a lot to me.  By myself, I am no one, I am nothing, I am weak.  But with all of you by my side, I am 10ft tall, bulletproof, and kick some major fucking ass!!!! If you're in need, if you're in trouble, REACH OUT!!! Its a two way street, use it, do not be afraid just because you don't know someone.  You will be amazed at how much you probably have in common with fellow quitters.

Roamcountry-282

Roam, I've been there too. I've been back and forth and up and down over my 155 days quit. I've been tested and tempted. Last night, as a matter of fact, was REALLY bad for me in the anxiety department. I was cognizant enough to not use, but I REALLY fucking wanted to. And that's only the second time in 155 days I had considered it. Where my mistake was, I should have turned right to the crew instead of just holding onto the tools in my back pocket, as in "Only In Case Of Emergency." I was wrong. My pledge got me through, but I should have turned right to the guys like you did. I applaud you and sympathize with you and what you are experiencing.

Dave

There is a major lesson here for all of us but especially newbies! 1st work on a good strong network of support and get their #'s so you can reach out when your hurting and they can contact you when they are. Roam is one bad ass quitter and has pulled and pushed me through many a night. Most of you would have a hard time believing the hours we spent on the phone talking or texting when everyone else was sleeping. 2nd we all have bad days, weeks and months but we can make it through 1 day and that's all anyone asks. 3rd we've all been pussies at times and probably will be again. But quitting is a very trying experience that can hurt like hell at times. With each victory we gain strength for even greater challenges ahead. 4th and most important for me Roam mentioned "I just rely on God to carry me through this." That reminds me of: Foot Prints in the Sand never underestimate the help from The Lord!
Thank You Roam! You reaching out helped me also. And my prayers are with you, especially Wednesday.

Roam....not sure if this is pure coincidence or not, but I had what I call my first anxiety attack last Monday. Also work related. Felt the room closing in on me. Stepped out of the meeting to get some fresh air - first thing I thought was "man, a big fatty of copenhagen would make this go away."

That was for 1 second as I had 300 days nic free coming up and my brothers to answer to.

Still nic free.

I had another one this week. Problem for me is work is going GREAT. We should trade numbers tho.

I have done some research on the topic. Not sure how old you are, but mid life has an impact and I have found this is completely normal - no matter how shitty.

Here is what I am doing now - if I feel it coming on, I just ask myself, "Am I in real danger?" answer is always no.....and then I breathe deep......

makes everything go away

check your inbox

CleanFuel

This is all some good shit right here, fellas. Must be something in the air as work has been messing with me too. Its odd that even though I have the tools and know I will be fine anxiety can still get to me. I start to think I'm going mental sometimes. I have to remind myself its nic that has done this to me. I chewed that shit for 15 years...gotta keep patient and beat it one day at a time. Fucking whore.

What CleanFuel said X 2. 'worship'

That is some great stuff right there! Man I love this Place!!!


'oh yeah'

[30isEnuff]

Never be afraid to reach out.  Yesterday I found myself hyperventilating, I couldn't breathe, I was in a full on panic/anxiety attack.  It was hour by hour.  I wanted the can, I wanted the comfort.  But you see I developed a kick ass support group.  I texted my group feeling like a wuss.  I was honest with them, I didn't want to lose their support, I didn't want to lose thier friendship that we developed over my course of time here.  I never had an anxiety attack before where I couldn't breathe.  Its all work related, but nevertheless my crew came through in true KTC fashion.  Texts of support came pouring in all day and still continue today.  During the course of this, I found out I was not alone in my work situation and I was also not alone in wanting the can back to cope with it.  But I will NOT. And just knowing that I wasn't alone was a big lift for me, I reached out to that brother as well to connect. Its not easy finding new coping skills for these situations. No one promised me it would be.  Theres really nothing anyone can say or do to help my current situation, I just rely on God to carry me through this and I rely on all of you to walk with me in my quit.  Thanks for all the support.  It means a lot to me.  By myself, I am no one, I am nothing, I am weak.  But with all of you by my side, I am 10ft tall, bulletproof, and kick some major fucking ass!!!! If you're in need, if you're in trouble, REACH OUT!!! Its a two way street, use it, do not be afraid just because you don't know someone.  You will be amazed at how much you probably have in common with fellow quitters.

Roamcountry-282

Roam, I've been there too. I've been back and forth and up and down over my 155 days quit. I've been tested and tempted. Last night, as a matter of fact, was REALLY bad for me in the anxiety department. I was cognizant enough to not use, but I REALLY fucking wanted to. And that's only the second time in 155 days I had considered it. Where my mistake was, I should have turned right to the crew instead of just holding onto the tools in my back pocket, as in "Only In Case Of Emergency." I was wrong. My pledge got me through, but I should have turned right to the guys like you did. I applaud you and sympathize with you and what you are experiencing.

Dave

There is a major lesson here for all of us but especially newbies! 1st work on a good strong network of support and get their #'s so you can reach out when your hurting and they can contact you when they are. Roam is one bad ass quitter and has pulled and pushed me through many a night. Most of you would have a hard time believing the hours we spent on the phone talking or texting when everyone else was sleeping. 2nd we all have bad days, weeks and months but we can make it through 1 day and that's all anyone asks. 3rd we've all been pussies at times and probably will be again. But quitting is a very trying experience that can hurt like hell at times. With each victory we gain strength for even greater challenges ahead. 4th and most important for me Roam mentioned "I just rely on God to carry me through this." That reminds me of: Foot Prints in the Sand never underestimate the help from The Lord!
Thank You Roam! You reaching out helped me also. And my prayers are with you, especially Wednesday.

Roam....not sure if this is pure coincidence or not, but I had what I call my first anxiety attack last Monday. Also work related. Felt the room closing in on me. Stepped out of the meeting to get some fresh air - first thing I thought was "man, a big fatty of copenhagen would make this go away."

That was for 1 second as I had 300 days nic free coming up and my brothers to answer to.

Still nic free.

I had another one this week. Problem for me is work is going GREAT. We should trade numbers tho.

I have done some research on the topic. Not sure how old you are, but mid life has an impact and I have found this is completely normal - no matter how shitty.

Here is what I am doing now - if I feel it coming on, I just ask myself, "Am I in real danger?" answer is always no.....and then I breathe deep......

makes everything go away

check your inbox

CleanFuel

This is all some good shit right here, fellas. Must be something in the air as work has been messing with me too. Its odd that even though I have the tools and know I will be fine anxiety can still get to me. I start to think I'm going mental sometimes. I have to remind myself its nic that has done this to me. I chewed that shit for 15 years...gotta keep patient and beat it one day at a time. Fucking whore.

What CleanFuel said X 2. 'worship'

[Diesel2112]

Never be afraid to reach out.  Yesterday I found myself hyperventilating, I couldn't breathe, I was in a full on panic/anxiety attack.  It was hour by hour.  I wanted the can, I wanted the comfort.  But you see I developed a kick ass support group.  I texted my group feeling like a wuss.  I was honest with them, I didn't want to lose their support, I didn't want to lose thier friendship that we developed over my course of time here.  I never had an anxiety attack before where I couldn't breathe.  Its all work related, but nevertheless my crew came through in true KTC fashion.  Texts of support came pouring in all day and still continue today.  During the course of this, I found out I was not alone in my work situation and I was also not alone in wanting the can back to cope with it.  But I will NOT. And just knowing that I wasn't alone was a big lift for me, I reached out to that brother as well to connect. Its not easy finding new coping skills for these situations. No one promised me it would be.  Theres really nothing anyone can say or do to help my current situation, I just rely on God to carry me through this and I rely on all of you to walk with me in my quit.  Thanks for all the support.  It means a lot to me.  By myself, I am no one, I am nothing, I am weak.  But with all of you by my side, I am 10ft tall, bulletproof, and kick some major fucking ass!!!! If you're in need, if you're in trouble, REACH OUT!!! Its a two way street, use it, do not be afraid just because you don't know someone.  You will be amazed at how much you probably have in common with fellow quitters.

Roamcountry-282

Roam, I've been there too. I've been back and forth and up and down over my 155 days quit. I've been tested and tempted. Last night, as a matter of fact, was REALLY bad for me in the anxiety department. I was cognizant enough to not use, but I REALLY fucking wanted to. And that's only the second time in 155 days I had considered it. Where my mistake was, I should have turned right to the crew instead of just holding onto the tools in my back pocket, as in "Only In Case Of Emergency." I was wrong. My pledge got me through, but I should have turned right to the guys like you did. I applaud you and sympathize with you and what you are experiencing.

Dave

There is a major lesson here for all of us but especially newbies! 1st work on a good strong network of support and get their #'s so you can reach out when your hurting and they can contact you when they are. Roam is one bad ass quitter and has pulled and pushed me through many a night. Most of you would have a hard time believing the hours we spent on the phone talking or texting when everyone else was sleeping. 2nd we all have bad days, weeks and months but we can make it through 1 day and that's all anyone asks. 3rd we've all been pussies at times and probably will be again. But quitting is a very trying experience that can hurt like hell at times. With each victory we gain strength for even greater challenges ahead. 4th and most important for me Roam mentioned "I just rely on God to carry me through this." That reminds me of: Foot Prints in the Sand never underestimate the help from The Lord!
Thank You Roam! You reaching out helped me also. And my prayers are with you, especially Wednesday.

Roam....not sure if this is pure coincidence or not, but I had what I call my first anxiety attack last Monday. Also work related. Felt the room closing in on me. Stepped out of the meeting to get some fresh air - first thing I thought was "man, a big fatty of copenhagen would make this go away."

That was for 1 second as I had 300 days nic free coming up and my brothers to answer to.

Still nic free.

I had another one this week. Problem for me is work is going GREAT. We should trade numbers tho.

I have done some research on the topic. Not sure how old you are, but mid life has an impact and I have found this is completely normal - no matter how shitty.

Here is what I am doing now - if I feel it coming on, I just ask myself, "Am I in real danger?" answer is always no.....and then I breathe deep......

makes everything go away

check your inbox

CleanFuel

This is all some good shit right here, fellas. Must be something in the air as work has been messing with me too. Its odd that even though I have the tools and know I will be fine anxiety can still get to me. I start to think I'm going mental sometimes. I have to remind myself its nic that has done this to me. I chewed that shit for 15 years...gotta keep patient and beat it one day at a time. Fucking whore.

[CleanFuel]

Never be afraid to reach out.  Yesterday I found myself hyperventilating, I couldn't breathe, I was in a full on panic/anxiety attack.  It was hour by hour.  I wanted the can, I wanted the comfort.  But you see I developed a kick ass support group.  I texted my group feeling like a wuss.  I was honest with them, I didn't want to lose their support, I didn't want to lose thier friendship that we developed over my course of time here.  I never had an anxiety attack before where I couldn't breathe.  Its all work related, but nevertheless my crew came through in true KTC fashion.  Texts of support came pouring in all day and still continue today.  During the course of this, I found out I was not alone in my work situation and I was also not alone in wanting the can back to cope with it.  But I will NOT. And just knowing that I wasn't alone was a big lift for me, I reached out to that brother as well to connect. Its not easy finding new coping skills for these situations. No one promised me it would be.  Theres really nothing anyone can say or do to help my current situation, I just rely on God to carry me through this and I rely on all of you to walk with me in my quit.  Thanks for all the support.  It means a lot to me.  By myself, I am no one, I am nothing, I am weak.  But with all of you by my side, I am 10ft tall, bulletproof, and kick some major fucking ass!!!! If you're in need, if you're in trouble, REACH OUT!!! Its a two way street, use it, do not be afraid just because you don't know someone.  You will be amazed at how much you probably have in common with fellow quitters.

Roamcountry-282

Roam, I've been there too. I've been back and forth and up and down over my 155 days quit. I've been tested and tempted. Last night, as a matter of fact, was REALLY bad for me in the anxiety department. I was cognizant enough to not use, but I REALLY fucking wanted to. And that's only the second time in 155 days I had considered it. Where my mistake was, I should have turned right to the crew instead of just holding onto the tools in my back pocket, as in "Only In Case Of Emergency." I was wrong. My pledge got me through, but I should have turned right to the guys like you did. I applaud you and sympathize with you and what you are experiencing.

Dave

There is a major lesson here for all of us but especially newbies! 1st work on a good strong network of support and get their #'s so you can reach out when your hurting and they can contact you when they are. Roam is one bad ass quitter and has pulled and pushed me through many a night. Most of you would have a hard time believing the hours we spent on the phone talking or texting when everyone else was sleeping. 2nd we all have bad days, weeks and months but we can make it through 1 day and that's all anyone asks. 3rd we've all been pussies at times and probably will be again. But quitting is a very trying experience that can hurt like hell at times. With each victory we gain strength for even greater challenges ahead. 4th and most important for me Roam mentioned "I just rely on God to carry me through this." That reminds me of: Foot Prints in the Sand never underestimate the help from The Lord!
Thank You Roam! You reaching out helped me also. And my prayers are with you, especially Wednesday.

Roam....not sure if this is pure coincidence or not, but I had what I call my first anxiety attack last Monday. Also work related. Felt the room closing in on me. Stepped out of the meeting to get some fresh air - first thing I thought was "man, a big fatty of copenhagen would make this go away."

That was for 1 second as I had 300 days nic free coming up and my brothers to answer to.

Still nic free.

I had another one this week. Problem for me is work is going GREAT. We should trade numbers tho.

I have done some research on the topic. Not sure how old you are, but mid life has an impact and I have found this is completely normal - no matter how shitty.

Here is what I am doing now - if I feel it coming on, I just ask myself, "Am I in real danger?" answer is always no.....and then I breathe deep......

makes everything go away

check your inbox

CleanFuel

[Wt57]

Never be afraid to reach out.  Yesterday I found myself hyperventilating, I couldn't breathe, I was in a full on panic/anxiety attack.  It was hour by hour.  I wanted the can, I wanted the comfort.  But you see I developed a kick ass support group.  I texted my group feeling like a wuss.  I was honest with them, I didn't want to lose their support, I didn't want to lose thier friendship that we developed over my course of time here.  I never had an anxiety attack before where I couldn't breathe.  Its all work related, but nevertheless my crew came through in true KTC fashion.  Texts of support came pouring in all day and still continue today.  During the course of this, I found out I was not alone in my work situation and I was also not alone in wanting the can back to cope with it.  But I will NOT. And just knowing that I wasn't alone was a big lift for me, I reached out to that brother as well to connect. Its not easy finding new coping skills for these situations. No one promised me it would be.  Theres really nothing anyone can say or do to help my current situation, I just rely on God to carry me through this and I rely on all of you to walk with me in my quit.  Thanks for all the support.  It means a lot to me.  By myself, I am no one, I am nothing, I am weak.  But with all of you by my side, I am 10ft tall, bulletproof, and kick some major fucking ass!!!! If you're in need, if you're in trouble, REACH OUT!!! Its a two way street, use it, do not be afraid just because you don't know someone.  You will be amazed at how much you probably have in common with fellow quitters.

Roamcountry-282

Roam, I've been there too. I've been back and forth and up and down over my 155 days quit. I've been tested and tempted. Last night, as a matter of fact, was REALLY bad for me in the anxiety department. I was cognizant enough to not use, but I REALLY fucking wanted to. And that's only the second time in 155 days I had considered it. Where my mistake was, I should have turned right to the crew instead of just holding onto the tools in my back pocket, as in "Only In Case Of Emergency." I was wrong. My pledge got me through, but I should have turned right to the guys like you did. I applaud you and sympathize with you and what you are experiencing.

Dave

There is a major lesson here for all of us but especially newbies! 1st work on a good strong network of support and get their #'s so you can reach out when your hurting and they can contact you when they are. Roam is one bad ass quitter and has pulled and pushed me through many a night. Most of you would have a hard time believing the hours we spent on the phone talking or texting when everyone else was sleeping. 2nd we all have bad days, weeks and months but we can make it through 1 day and that's all anyone asks. 3rd we've all been pussies at times and probably will be again. But quitting is a very trying experience that can hurt like hell at times. With each victory we gain strength for even greater challenges ahead. 4th and most important for me Roam mentioned "I just rely on God to carry me through this." That reminds me of: Foot Prints in the Sand never underestimate the help from The Lord!
Thank You Roam! You reaching out helped me also. And my prayers are with you, especially Wednesday.

[Boelker62]

Never be afraid to reach out. Yesterday I found myself hyperventilating, I couldn't breathe, I was in a full on panic/anxiety attack. It was hour by hour. I wanted the can, I wanted the comfort. But you see I developed a kick ass support group. I texted my group feeling like a wuss. I was honest with them, I didn't want to lose their support, I didn't want to lose thier friendship that we developed over my course of time here. I never had an anxiety attack before where I couldn't breathe. Its all work related, but nevertheless my crew came through in true KTC fashion. Texts of support came pouring in all day and still continue today. During the course of this, I found out I was not alone in my work situation and I was also not alone in wanting the can back to cope with it. But I will NOT. And just knowing that I wasn't alone was a big lift for me, I reached out to that brother as well to connect. Its not easy finding new coping skills for these situations. No one promised me it would be. Theres really nothing anyone can say or do to help my current situation, I just rely on God to carry me through this and I rely on all of you to walk with me in my quit. Thanks for all the support. It means a lot to me. By myself, I am no one, I am nothing, I am weak. But with all of you by my side, I am 10ft tall, bulletproof, and kick some major fucking ass!!!! If you're in need, if you're in trouble, REACH OUT!!! Its a two way street, use it, do not be afraid just because you don't know someone. You will be amazed at how much you probably have in common with fellow quitters.

Roamcountry-282

Roam, I've been there too. I've been back and forth and up and down over my 155 days quit. I've been tested and tempted. Last night, as a matter of fact, was REALLY bad for me in the anxiety department. I was cognizant enough to not use, but I REALLY fucking wanted to. And that's only the second time in 155 days I had considered it. Where my mistake was, I should have turned right to the crew instead of just holding onto the tools in my back pocket, as in "Only In Case Of Emergency." I was wrong. My pledge got me through, but I should have turned right to the guys like you did. I applaud you and sympathize with you and what you are experiencing.

Dave