Getting close to HOF. I haven't been posting much in any intro threads for the last 3-4 weeks. I bought myself a Surly Moonlander; 4.8" tires and the fucker can go anywhere I want it to! It's a tank, weighing somewhere around 34 lbs I have been riding the shit out of it and soaking up whatever fatbike knowledge I can from the interwebs.
That's what I do. I get interested in something and I read everything I can so I can be somewhat educated in it; I like to have a clue ya know! That is what I did 97 days ago (well 94 I guess I quit a few days before landing here). I got in here and I just soaked it all in. Reading as much as I could, drinking the kool-aid.
So, it seems this past week I have been getting more urges. I have had a couple dip dreams and a few times my thoughts wander to the bitch. My dream last night was odd... I made my mind up that I was going to get a fucking can; drove to the store, walked in, and then just turned around and got back into the car and went home. No purchase. I dont know what to make of it; other than I still own this quit and the bitch better recognize that I am quit and I will be quit again tomorrow.
So, that's about it.
I fucking hate chew. I fucking hate that I still think about the shit. I hate knowing that I will have to deal with this addiction for the rest of my life.
I fucking Love my new Freedom. I fucking Love knowing that I dont have to balance my life around getting a nic fix. I fucking love knowing that I CAN remain nicotine free the rest of my life by dealing with it ODAAT.
I dont know that I will be giving a HOF speech anytime soon; I am going to wait for the urges that have been pounding me lately to go the fuck away. I guess I dont feel that I have this fucker beat yet and I dont want to go out celebrating some victory that isn't really there. I guess I celebrate it daily by posting roll call and seeing my brothers post roll call with me.
That's all for today.