Dear January 14, new quitters and you fucking cavers that came to check back to see what's going on and if anyone else caves so you aren't the only one.
Yesterday was my 27th birthday and the first one in 10 years nic free. Did I celebrate with a few beers, take the day off work and kick my feet up? Yes I drank some beers in sadness and took the day off and kicked my feet up in the dentist chair...
Now a back story here, I love KTC and everything it has to offer but I've been so frustrated seeing people who give up on their quit and the amount of attention they get from the still standing bad asses. I'm fucking quit and support all my brothers who are quit as well. I hate to see anyone cave mainly because if you caved then it's because you are a weak bitch. Now hear my new reason on why you should stay quit.
I've had swelling between 2 of my teeth on my lower gum towards the right side in the back. Its been present for about 3 days. I woke up on my birthday and was in pain. I mean gum so swollen in between the teeth I thought I could bite my gum, not my cheek, my gum coming over my teeth from a growth or something. I called my dentist in a panic (haven't called that guy in 3 years). They said come over right away.
I went there and saw the main dentist who did x-rays, evaluation and I explained I'm 44 days quit (at the time). What have I done, what is growing in my mouth? He explained he didn't think it was anything related to my teeth... It was in my gums and referred me to a periodontist. Immediately. What is a Periodontist? Good question... I googled it on the way to the doctor from the dentist.
"A periodontist is a dentist who specializes in the prevention, diagnosis, and treatment of periodontal disease"
...fuck that sounds scary.
Met the doctor and explained my background and was diagnosed with a pyogenic granuloma (feel free to google image what this looks like between meals). He could not confirm the source of why I had this, state it has a lot of reasons for coming but ultimately they will remove that portion of my gum and send it for evaluation.
Telling my fiancee and family was horrible, like I did this to myself although the doctor did not confirm stating it could just come for no reason at all. I feel embarrassed, stupid and like I fucking lost. Did I really do this to myself? for what reason for a buzz?
Hey cavers, quitters and wiley veterans. get fucking quit. I'm ahead of my battles but imagine saying you have cancer and it's not just a portion of your gum, it's your jaw they are removing. Look at your family and see if you can stomach that conversation. I read the other stories but this happened to me. I'm Dunlapsig... this guy with the avatar who has a bear dragging his face out of the ground. I'm out of the fog and in a cruel realization that i'm fucking quit, I will be quit and this is my only life I shouldn't poison it.
I'll be posting this in my introduction as well as this will be bumped on roll here soon, just wanted to share with my january brothers first.
ODAAT.
-Drew