Still ok. Found some Hydrocodone. I'm not a pill kinda of guy at all but told the fam i wasn't feeling well, went upstairs and took one, put on the fishing channel. Thinking in my head was I want to go to sleep, this will help. Had to leave work early today.
It's not just dipping though, would smoke cigs to get in between the can. Haven't had a smoke either. FYI
You know you do something for so long you don't know what life is outside of that. I don't remember what life is like without the can? What do you do with yourself? How do you relax? How do you take a shit? How do you release stress? What do you take when you're anxious? How do you watch sports?
I'm going to have to figure something else out.
Just want to stop being a liar and a fuckup.