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Offline slug.go

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #22 on: July 29, 2014, 11:20:00 AM »
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: david.m
Mark it 8, dude.
I told that fuckin Kraut a thousand times, I don't roll on Shabbos!
That rug really tied the room together. (One of the greatest and most underrated movies of all time)
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Offline wastepanel

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #21 on: July 29, 2014, 11:12:00 AM »
Quote from: david.m
Day 9.

I have ridden the Fog to it's limit. I absolutely have to work (and be productive!) today.

Anxiety came on as soon as I reached the office. I now realize that this has been the regular feeling at the office for some time now. But I've been "treating" it with nicotine asap each morning. Once the nic-rush assuages the anxiety, I buckle down and work with focus. That's been my routine. 9 to 5. (That's why the daylight hours are my peak craving times.) So.... it has me thinking that nicotine may not be my only problem to deal with here. Finding a new way to mask the anxiety isn't the answer. It may be a change of job/location - or at least perspective - that's necessary. BUT I'm not going to make any decisions while in these first stages of the Quit. Who knows what crazy things I'm thinking and feeling because of the mind/body's panic!? Stupid mind and body. Nicotine is for idiots. Relearn!!!

Bottom line: today is truly a page turning day for me and my work. I must work. I must focus. I must produce. And I WILL do it without Nicki (I prefer to anthropomorphize nicotine as an evil female vixen).
You can do this man. Some days are better than others.

Your eating may also be affecting how foggy you feel.

Concentrate on protein (especially in the mornings) and up your vitamin c intake. Your body is going through a lot right now. Help it along.
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In the end I Surrender, I and I alone accept that I have and always will have a Nicotene ADDICTION. It is my choice to quit, but I can't do it alone. I get to go down this path one time, I want to do it right. I recognize that my word, my integrety to you is on the line and is only as good as my actions. Caving is not an option in this plan-Eafman 7/11

I am not cured. I will quit one day at a time. I will continue to do what works. Posting roll everyday. To do otherwise would be foolish on my part. You can do this-Ready 12/11

To overcome your addiction you must comprehend what it means to fail-Razd 3/12

Theres a lot of people that come here, especially vets, that WANT to be reminded that they are addicts.-Tarpon 6/12

Just as a building starts with architectural drawings. Your daily quit begins with a promise.-Scowick 2/13

Here and now, focused on today, minute by minute, whatever it takes, I promise to all my bros and myself not to become a negative stat and stay quit!-krok 1/15

I want everyone to be quit. Even the assholes.-Probe1957 1/18

Ignoring history or erasing history fixes nothing and leads you inevitably down the same path.-69franx 04/30/2021

Offline david.m

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #20 on: July 29, 2014, 10:24:00 AM »
Day 9.

I have ridden the Fog to it's limit. I absolutely have to work (and be productive!) today.

Anxiety came on as soon as I reached the office. I now realize that this has been the regular feeling at the office for some time now. But I've been "treating" it with nicotine asap each morning. Once the nic-rush assuages the anxiety, I buckle down and work with focus. That's been my routine. 9 to 5. (That's why the daylight hours are my peak craving times.) So.... it has me thinking that nicotine may not be my only problem to deal with here. Finding a new way to mask the anxiety isn't the answer. It may be a change of job/location - or at least perspective - that's necessary. BUT I'm not going to make any decisions while in these first stages of the Quit. Who knows what crazy things I'm thinking and feeling because of the mind/body's panic!? Stupid mind and body. Nicotine is for idiots. Relearn!!!

Bottom line: today is truly a page turning day for me and my work. I must work. I must focus. I must produce. And I WILL do it without Nicki (I prefer to anthropomorphize nicotine as an evil female vixen).
Logged
If you settle for nothing now, you'll settle for nothing later.
If you don't take action now, you won't take action later.

07.20.2014 - quit day
07.21.2014 - one day
10.28.2014 - H.O.F
02.05.2015 - 2nd Floor
05.16.2015 - 3rd Floor
07.20.2015 - one year
08.24.2015 - 4th Floor

Offline Nolaq

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #19 on: July 28, 2014, 03:42:00 PM »
Quote from: david.m
Mark it 8, dude.
I told that fuckin Kraut a thousand times, I don't roll on Shabbos!
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What is your major malfunction?!?!?!?!

Offline bigreddude44

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #18 on: July 28, 2014, 03:28:00 PM »
Quote from: B-loMatt
Quote from: david.m
Mark it 8, dude.

Insomnia stage has set in. Up since 3:30 this morning. It was 4:15 on Sat. and 5:15 on Sun. I'm exhausted.

Fog starting to clear. Cravings less frequent, now coming at specific times: when feeling stressed or angry.

Chewed a lot of seeds over the weekend. They're a good diversion. Need to find saltless tho. Lip is torn up. Last week, i ordered "the fake stuff" samples from a couple different companies - but I'm thinking I'll toss them when they arrive. I feel like I'd be better off not toying around with a less-satisfying imitation that will only make me want the real thing more. Seeds are a better alternative for me because while it's an oral-fixation mechanism, it's a completely different substance and action. I don't want seeds to become a replacement for dip. Not the way I used dip all day long. Need to re-learn how to work/study/write without anything in my mouth. But seeds will be great for baseball games, times of stress or boredom.

Told the kids about my quit. Talked about the addiction of nicotine, the reason I'm quitting, the struggle that it is. Not much of a reaction from them. Not sure what I expected. Haha. But it was a good step. Admittedly, I had been delaying that conversation because I wasn't sure I was going to be able to get through the first week. By telling them, it was (a.) like celebrating a checkpoint reached (1:55pm yesterday marked one complete week) as well as (b.) an added level of accountability for the journey ahead: now that I've told my kids, I can't give up.



Good stuff here! Love the added accountability of telling your kids!
Hell yes celebrate week 1 of quit! You are a bad ass.
Who needs sleep anyway.
I used the fake stuff hard the first week, and often (3-4 times a day) weeks 2-4, and then I switched mostly to seeds and only had the fake stuff a few more times. I still keep my stash around though just in case. I like to have a can of the fake dip with me if I go tailgating for a Bills game or will be drinking with buddies who still dip. I haven't had a fake dip in a long time, but it's good to be prepared. Toss the fake if you want, but it won't hurt to have in case of emergency.
David, you are winning, and I will be quit with you all day.
Love your idea of using this as a journal. I'm going to do the same thing with mine. Glad you told your kids. I haven't told mine yet. My kids are older, 20  22, and I have let them down many times before with failed "quits" and I certainly don't want to do it again. The other side of this coin is my fear that I haven't told them because my quit is not as solid as I'd like to think it is. I guess I'll head to the office and like you, take another "unofficial" day off and figure out what's keeping me from telling my kids.
Love quitting with you brother!
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Quit date: July 24,2014
HOF date: October 31, 2014
HOF speech: You're an idiot if you still dip.

my intro

"When I am weak, He is strong!" II Corinthians 12:10

Offline B-loMatt

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #17 on: July 28, 2014, 09:07:00 AM »
Quote from: david.m
Mark it 8, dude.

Insomnia stage has set in. Up since 3:30 this morning. It was 4:15 on Sat. and 5:15 on Sun. I'm exhausted.

Fog starting to clear. Cravings less frequent, now coming at specific times: when feeling stressed or angry.

Chewed a lot of seeds over the weekend. They're a good diversion. Need to find saltless tho. Lip is torn up. Last week, i ordered "the fake stuff" samples from a couple different companies - but I'm thinking I'll toss them when they arrive. I feel like I'd be better off not toying around with a less-satisfying imitation that will only make me want the real thing more. Seeds are a better alternative for me because while it's an oral-fixation mechanism, it's a completely different substance and action. I don't want seeds to become a replacement for dip. Not the way I used dip all day long. Need to re-learn how to work/study/write without anything in my mouth. But seeds will be great for baseball games, times of stress or boredom.

Told the kids about my quit. Talked about the addiction of nicotine, the reason I'm quitting, the struggle that it is. Not much of a reaction from them. Not sure what I expected. Haha. But it was a good step. Admittedly, I had been delaying that conversation because I wasn't sure I was going to be able to get through the first week. By telling them, it was (a.) like celebrating a checkpoint reached (1:55pm yesterday marked one complete week) as well as (b.) an added level of accountability for the journey ahead: now that I've told my kids, I can't give up.



Good stuff here! Love the added accountability of telling your kids!
Hell yes celebrate week 1 of quit! You are a bad ass.
Who needs sleep anyway.
I used the fake stuff hard the first week, and often (3-4 times a day) weeks 2-4, and then I switched mostly to seeds and only had the fake stuff a few more times. I still keep my stash around though just in case. I like to have a can of the fake dip with me if I go tailgating for a Bills game or will be drinking with buddies who still dip. I haven't had a fake dip in a long time, but it's good to be prepared. Toss the fake if you want, but it won't hurt to have in case of emergency.
David, you are winning, and I will be quit with you all day.
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Offline david.m

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #16 on: July 28, 2014, 05:13:00 AM »
Mark it 8, dude.

Insomnia stage has set in. Up since 3:30 this morning. It was 4:15 on Sat. and 5:15 on Sun. I'm exhausted.

Fog starting to clear. Cravings less frequent, now coming at specific times: when feeling stressed or angry.

Chewed a lot of seeds over the weekend. They're a good diversion. Need to find saltless tho. Lip is torn up. Last week, i ordered "the fake stuff" samples from a couple different companies - but I'm thinking I'll toss them when they arrive. I feel like I'd be better off not toying around with a less-satisfying imitation that will only make me want the real thing more. Seeds are a better alternative for me because while it's an oral-fixation mechanism, it's a completely different substance and action. I don't want seeds to become a replacement for dip. Not the way I used dip all day long. Need to re-learn how to work/study/write without anything in my mouth. But seeds will be great for baseball games, times of stress or boredom.

Told the kids about my quit. Talked about the addiction of nicotine, the reason I'm quitting, the struggle that it is. Not much of a reaction from them. Not sure what I expected. Haha. But it was a good step. Admittedly, I had been delaying that conversation because I wasn't sure I was going to be able to get through the first week. By telling them, it was (a.) like celebrating a checkpoint reached (1:55pm yesterday marked one complete week) as well as (b.) an added level of accountability for the journey ahead: now that I've told my kids, I can't give up.
Logged
If you settle for nothing now, you'll settle for nothing later.
If you don't take action now, you won't take action later.

07.20.2014 - quit day
07.21.2014 - one day
10.28.2014 - H.O.F
02.05.2015 - 2nd Floor
05.16.2015 - 3rd Floor
07.20.2015 - one year
08.24.2015 - 4th Floor

Offline Derk40

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #15 on: July 25, 2014, 07:46:00 PM »
Quote from: Scowick65
Quote from: Dagranger
Quote from: Thumblewort
Quote from: david.m
Day 5.

Finding my most difficult crave times are the daylight hours right now. Nighttime is strangely mild.

Went out to a show with my family last night and never once felt a crave for it. The only time I even thought about it was when I noticed that I wasn't feeling the pain of withdrawal - for first time in 4 days. It was great.

But the pain came back this morning. Woke up angry. Not at anyone; nothing had happened yet. Just felt it. Anger.

Went to the gym. Been drinking lots of water. Took the day off. Unofficially. Again.

That all helps, but I still feel the burning. Every muscle constantly tensed against it.

It's fine. It's better than it was. Starting to really (really) believe I will do this.

So glad for the quit group I'm in. They helped me thru a couple rough spots yesterday via PM  chat. Cool guys (and girl). They get it. KTC is a great find.
You are healing after years of poisoning yourself. Soon the good days will out number the bad ones. 5 days quit is bad ass David!
Been there David. Hang in there my guess is this time next Friday you won't feel like you do now. I find the hardest part about quitting isn't finding the resolve to quit....you have that already. It's once you make the decision and the switch turns on, your craves don't go away, and you have to keep on battling. It fucking sucks, but it's totally worth it. Keep grinding brutha I quit with you today.
You are describing the typical quit. Know this, there is an other side and it is wonderful. Keep it up.
Keep at it today! Whatever it takes to stay quit! I'm with you all day!
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Quit date: 6/23/2013
HOF Date: 9/30/2013

HOF Speech

Offline Scowick65

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #14 on: July 25, 2014, 06:20:00 PM »
Quote from: Dagranger
Quote from: Thumblewort
Quote from: david.m
Day 5.

Finding my most difficult crave times are the daylight hours right now. Nighttime is strangely mild.

Went out to a show with my family last night and never once felt a crave for it. The only time I even thought about it was when I noticed that I wasn't feeling the pain of withdrawal - for first time in 4 days. It was great.

But the pain came back this morning. Woke up angry. Not at anyone; nothing had happened yet. Just felt it. Anger.

Went to the gym. Been drinking lots of water. Took the day off. Unofficially. Again.

That all helps, but I still feel the burning. Every muscle constantly tensed against it.

It's fine. It's better than it was. Starting to really (really) believe I will do this.

So glad for the quit group I'm in. They helped me thru a couple rough spots yesterday via PM  chat. Cool guys (and girl). They get it. KTC is a great find.
You are healing after years of poisoning yourself. Soon the good days will out number the bad ones. 5 days quit is bad ass David!
Been there David. Hang in there my guess is this time next Friday you won't feel like you do now. I find the hardest part about quitting isn't finding the resolve to quit....you have that already. It's once you make the decision and the switch turns on, your craves don't go away, and you have to keep on battling. It fucking sucks, but it's totally worth it. Keep grinding brutha I quit with you today.
You are describing the typical quit. Know this, there is an other side and it is wonderful. Keep it up.
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Offline Dagranger

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #13 on: July 25, 2014, 03:27:00 PM »
Quote from: Thumblewort
Quote from: david.m
Day 5.

Finding my most difficult crave times are the daylight hours right now. Nighttime is strangely mild.

Went out to a show with my family last night and never once felt a crave for it. The only time I even thought about it was when I noticed that I wasn't feeling the pain of withdrawal - for first time in 4 days. It was great.

But the pain came back this morning. Woke up angry. Not at anyone; nothing had happened yet. Just felt it. Anger.

Went to the gym. Been drinking lots of water. Took the day off. Unofficially. Again.

That all helps, but I still feel the burning. Every muscle constantly tensed against it.

It's fine. It's better than it was. Starting to really (really) believe I will do this.

So glad for the quit group I'm in. They helped me thru a couple rough spots yesterday via PM  chat. Cool guys (and girl). They get it. KTC is a great find.
You are healing after years of poisoning yourself. Soon the good days will out number the bad ones. 5 days quit is bad ass David!
Been there David. Hang in there my guess is this time next Friday you won't feel like you do now. I find the hardest part about quitting isn't finding the resolve to quit....you have that already. It's once you make the decision and the switch turns on, your craves don't go away, and you have to keep on battling. It fucking sucks, but it's totally worth it. Keep grinding brutha I quit with you today.
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Offline Thumblewort

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #12 on: July 25, 2014, 02:39:00 PM »
Quote from: david.m
Day 5.

Finding my most difficult crave times are the daylight hours right now. Nighttime is strangely mild.

Went out to a show with my family last night and never once felt a crave for it. The only time I even thought about it was when I noticed that I wasn't feeling the pain of withdrawal - for first time in 4 days. It was great.

But the pain came back this morning. Woke up angry. Not at anyone; nothing had happened yet. Just felt it. Anger.

Went to the gym. Been drinking lots of water. Took the day off. Unofficially. Again.

That all helps, but I still feel the burning. Every muscle constantly tensed against it.

It's fine. It's better than it was. Starting to really (really) believe I will do this.

So glad for the quit group I'm in. They helped me thru a couple rough spots yesterday via PM  chat. Cool guys (and girl). They get it. KTC is a great find.
You are healing after years of poisoning yourself. Soon the good days will out number the bad ones. 5 days quit is bad ass David!
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Some of my fondest and clearest memories are peeing in places that aren't bathrooms.

Offline david.m

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #11 on: July 25, 2014, 02:34:00 PM »
Day 5.

Finding my most difficult crave times are the daylight hours right now. Nighttime is strangely mild.

Went out to a show with my family last night and never once felt a crave for it. The only time I even thought about it was when I noticed that I wasn't feeling the pain of withdrawal - for first time in 4 days. It was great.

But the pain came back this morning. Woke up angry. Not at anyone; nothing had happened yet. Just felt it. Anger.

Went to the gym. Been drinking lots of water. Took the day off. Unofficially. Again.

That all helps, but I still feel the burning. Every muscle constantly tensed against it.

It's fine. It's better than it was. Starting to really (really) believe I will do this.

So glad for the quit group I'm in. They helped me thru a couple rough spots yesterday via PM  chat. Cool guys (and girl). They get it. KTC is a great find.
Logged
If you settle for nothing now, you'll settle for nothing later.
If you don't take action now, you won't take action later.

07.20.2014 - quit day
07.21.2014 - one day
10.28.2014 - H.O.F
02.05.2015 - 2nd Floor
05.16.2015 - 3rd Floor
07.20.2015 - one year
08.24.2015 - 4th Floor

Offline DirtyHarry10

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #10 on: July 24, 2014, 11:54:00 AM »
Quote from: david.m
Day 4.

Thank you to all the supporters and fellow-quitters who have helped me get this far. It's been clutch.

It's so pathetic to me - to see myself excited about having not done something for (only) 3 days in a row - and thanking people who I couldn't have done it without. It just magnifies how powerful the nicotine addiction is.

"They" say that the nicotine is out of your body in 72 hours, but I'm still feeling that skin crawling, blood boiling, painful craving. Could just be psychological. But feels physical.

Definitely in the "fog" I've read about. I was 100% unproductive yesterday. Didn't get to work until 11am; sat in my office and poured over KTC site for 2 hours. Then I watched 4 hours of TV. I just can't get my mind around anything. Every time I think of working - especially the research/study, writing, design parts (anything that involves me being by myself and having to focus on a task) - my mouth starts watering and the crave rises up. Ugh!

[I'm going to use this thread as a log of my quit. Really, for my own sake - to track my progress and keep me accountable. But I also welcome those who can relate to chime in - and hopefully, as my journey continues, my observations will help others - as I have also been helped.]

Ok. Gotta go to work. There's TV to watch.

David,

I understand about the work issues. I'm rolling through day 8 and it really is the first time since day 1 that I've felt like doing anything. However, I did do something that made the work part a litle easier. If you've got it, take a couple of days vacation. I bailed out yesterday and today. Got a decent nights sleep, played with the kids, took a quick trail walk, whatever I had to do to keep my mind occupied. While it didn't completely squash the urges, it did help with my frame of mind. Just keep pushing brother.
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Dyin' ain't much of a living, boy. -THE Outlaw Josey Wales

Offline B-loMatt

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #9 on: July 24, 2014, 11:05:00 AM »
Physically the poison is out of your system after about 72 hours true, but now the mind games... It will be a roller coaster ride: good days, bad days, repeat. It will be like that for a while, but it will pass. You keep QLF minute to minute if need be; keep fighting, keep pushing, and you will be free.
You will see the term "embrace the suck" around here if you haven't already. The suck means you are winning! It is the nic bitches desperate attempts to get you to cave (ok it's really just your brain chemistry recovering from the poison hijacking your dopamine receptors but I like to personify the enemy for targeting the rage). Once I would embrace the suck it would generally go away for a while. Read some intro threads from the start and you will see some common times when people get into funks. Recognizing them for what they are is key.

You have made it through 3 of the toughest days you will ever have so you sure as hell can make it through today. Stay close to KTC and start getting your plan together. Make sure you have lots of #s and be ready to use them. Sometimes we all need a punch in the junk. PM me or any of the above bad ass quitters if you need help or digits.

You got this! You are killing it!
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Offline breadherring

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #8 on: July 24, 2014, 10:33:00 AM »
Quote from: Thumblewort
Hang tough David, Day 4 can be rough as well, but I promise it will get better. Don't worry about tomorrow, just focus on today.
Days 5-15 were no picnic for me...

Welcome aboard, David. You've made a good choice.
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