Author Topic: Introduction  (Read 25969 times)

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Offline srans

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #242 on: April 25, 2013, 08:31:00 AM »
Quote from: Its_Got2Happen
Here is a post I wrote that I never submitted.

Day 66 the burden of quit is light because I have come to the realization that tobacco does nothing for me. Nothing positive anyway. The inconvenience of posting roll and denying craves is a small price to pay for freedom. The other necessary step is to carry some numbers with me in case I get in trouble. The industry propagates a deadly and deceptive lie. I am embarrassed that I fell victim to it for a ¼ century. One of my goals in life now is keep my children away from tobacco and other harmful substances.

The burden of using is far greater than that of being quit. I had to always make sure that I had enough with me. Midnight runs to gas station or store. Lunch hours alone in my truck rather than spending time with my coworkers. Always trying to hide the filth from my sons and other people at family functions. Missing time with my wife so I could stay up late an “enjoy” one last dip for the day. And perhaps the greatest burden of using was living with the personal guilt of constantly lying to myself, thinking ”I am not addicted, I can quit anytime I want, I will quit on Monday”. Such bullshit, such failure. Have a great day.
Good read Got2happen. Thanks for your post on my intro. Every little bit helps. It's amazing how just a few words from someone or several someones make the day a little brighter. Glad to be quit with you...
Hof date may 25, 2013
HoF Speech


The poison sucks. I hate it. I hated it this morning, I hated it at noon, I hated it at supper and I hate it tonight. I enjoy hating it so much I'm going to wake up tomorrow and start over hating it. I quit with anyone that wants to hate it with me.

Offline Its_Got2Happen

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #241 on: April 25, 2013, 04:32:00 AM »
Here is a post I wrote that I never submitted.

Day 66 the burden of quit is light because I have come to the realization that tobacco does nothing for me. Nothing positive anyway. The inconvenience of posting roll and denying craves is a small price to pay for freedom. The other necessary step is to carry some numbers with me in case I get in trouble. The industry propagates a deadly and deceptive lie. I am embarrassed that I fell victim to it for a ¼ century. One of my goals in life now is keep my children away from tobacco and other harmful substances.

The burden of using is far greater than that of being quit. I had to always make sure that I had enough with me. Midnight runs to gas station or store. Lunch hours alone in my truck rather than spending time with my coworkers. Always trying to hide the filth from my sons and other people at family functions. Missing time with my wife so I could stay up late an “enjoy” one last dip for the day. And perhaps the greatest burden of using was living with the personal guilt of constantly lying to myself, thinking ”I am not addicted, I can quit anytime I want, I will quit on Monday”. Such bullshit, such failure. Have a great day.

Offline Its_Got2Happen

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #240 on: April 22, 2013, 05:50:00 AM »
Quote from: copingwithoutcopen
Quote from: Skoal
http://www.killthecan.org/facts/2weeks.asp

This is the link for the two week weakness.  Very common to struggle all of a sudden around this time. It's short lived so don't stress on it.

I reccommended a book by Alan Carr - here it is on PDF.
http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5 ... 34a829.pdf

It isn't attitude. But it is all mental games for the next couple months. Remember this is Chess not checkers. Your inner addict is going to try to outsmart you at every turn. Thats the value of posting up your thoughts here. This place works like a mirror that will reflect back the truth. You can fool yourself, and probably some of us, but never all of us. Mostly because we all stood where you stand now. We know.

Don't hide the fact your struggling, your here for support.

Your original post raised alarm because you were creating reasons to start again. Thats known as use justification.

You and I both know that you actually DONT want to dip again. What you want is to feel normal.  You needed nicotine to feel that way and so did I. The truth is that we were normal before we ever started using. Then eventually we had to use just to maintain normal.

Once you've kept quit for awhile you will return to feeling good without nicotine. Your no longer physically dependant on a drug to make you feel ok.

Be patient my friend, 13 days of quit is awesome, but it can't undo all the damage. Give it time. Until then try to push past all this and start enjoying life without nic.

Also Maybe this will help
Quote
THE VOID

Silly rabbits, nicotine wasn't filling the void it was creating it.

What exactly is it that your foggy mind imagines you lost? The only thing that chew is good for is to keep you addicted to chew.

You think you miss it? Is it the morning ritual of scraping the dead skin off your lip? Did it make you a better husband, father, son. Perhaps you miss being tethered to a dripping sewer of a spitter. I know!!! It made you smarter and the lump in your lip was a real hit with the ladies . You didn't lose anything , instead you have gained everything, perhaps your very life.

Nothing to miss thats all illusion created by the addiction

"Bullshit" you say "I remember that it was good and I liked it"
You miss that good dip? the perfect wedge that you think you remember. I bet you have a romantic memory , mine is of dipping in the bleachers at the highschool game on Friday night. (Secret for you) That's not the dip you get when you cave. Ohhhh nooooo buttercup, you get a dip that was just like your LAST ONE. Remember that lame chew? The one you had to have just to feed your habit, you had to think about where to put it because everywhere else hurt. Except this dip will be full of guilt and shame and failure. How could you start again when you have read the Tom Kern story? or looked at ODT's cancer surgery, or spent any time here at all?

Don't romanticize your addiction, if it was so great why did you want to stop in the first place.

It isnt the one good chew you get when you fail , its the 10,000 shitty chews that will come with it. How long will it take you to get back to 30 days of freedom? How long did it take you this time? for me it was years in between quits. You can't risk that, how many chances until you look your son or daughter in the eyes and tell them you killed yourself? and you did it on purpose. The next dip could be the one
that kills you. It isn't likely but the possibility is there. Jenny Kern said the odds of getting cancer from chew don't matter if your the one that gets it. Just sayin

Still on the fence eh, " it was always there for me" and " it would calm me down" you mumble. Nicotine is a vasoconstrictor it raises your blood pressure. It is also a stimulant. Sounds calming alright . More illusions of your nicotine soaked cerabellum. When you are angry you produce chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol. These literally take the nic out of your blood stream. So you go into withdrawl. So....we...would have a dip, and feel better. The calm you felt... was only the relief from withdrawl.

But we all believed it was THE DIP that calmed us, it was in reality the DIP that caused alot of the stress. Nicotine creating a void (can you see it yet)

The feel better high you seek, the replacement for your so called void? I think PBkids shrink friend was close but not quite there. If you can admit the void is caused by nicotine and your addiction, then the opposite must be true as well. Recovery from the addiction will fill the void. You can see this prove out in your own group and those ahead of you. Posts such as it was great to hang out with my kid and not worry about a place to spit or a spitter. Posts on how nice it feels to not HAVE to lie and hide. How proud you feel, how proud your loved ones are. Those feelings of relief, calm , become more and more as your quit progresses. THAT my addict brethren will fill the void, THAT is the good and the positive stuff that your already working for. (another secret) it's worth it and it feels so much better than you do now.

your body has to heal, your mind needs to heal. Dip literally changes the way your brain works, and it changes how your body produces and uses all of its feel good chemicals. It effects serotonin and adrenaline. The fog in my opinion is created by a lack of chemical production when your brain is trying to figure out what the hell to do with out a steady stream of posion ( you knew that nicotine is a potent neurotoxin right). Anti depressants act on the same chemicals that nic did. Coincidence that Wellbutrin does the same thing? You may feel depressed, the funk, the fog, the blahs and the fuck its. It hits with a repeatable timing in all the groups. Common sense tells you that a pattern that occurs across every group could be reality.This is your brain healing. Literally nicotine receptors are dying and new neuro pathways are forming. This is the price you must pay to earn your freedom. Embrace it. Rkymtnman gave you the best piece of advice yet. Excercise, Yes you frito lay lovin pork rind munching fattys need to get off your collective asses and excercise. Walking counts if you put some distance there. Excercise works on your body just like the rest of the stuff above. Excercise releases endorphins that will help you feel better. It is scientifically proven that you will have less craves and less severe craves AND a larger number of you droolers will stay quit. Thor's Pajammer is correct with meditation, check out what meditation does to brain chemistry as well. Its all the same , help yourself and take a walk.

As Forest Gump says thats all I have to say about that. Sorry for the long post, I hope it helps. It is really just a collection of things I've picked up from those who helped me. Some is from posts you'll find if you dig hard enough. One day at a time buttercups. If I can do it so can you. Now seriously put the pickle down and buy a ab roller.

Quitting can really be the easiest hard thing you'll ever do. Or it can be the hardest easy thing. Depends on how you flip the switch in your mind.

sM 
Good to see you in chat Ryan... Made me wanna go back and look at your intro. I hope you don't mind that I bounce this little gem up top. Stay strong brothers!
It was good to chat with you as well, congrats on making it to the 3rd floor. And no I don't mind at all about the bump. In fact I am glad you did.

That PDF book that SM shared was a turning point in my quit. Allen Carr wrote some simple yet brilliant things in that book. The greatest message for me was that nicotine NEVER DID ANYTHING FOR ME, except remove the withdrawal that it in fact was responsible for creating. That is the big lie. The we need nicotine. Once I grasped that concept it became pretty hard to even think about using again. I may be an addict but I am not stupid or irrational.

Quit on.

Offline Winter Green

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #239 on: April 21, 2013, 10:07:00 PM »
Quote from: Its_Got2Happen
Celebrating firsts is pretty cool. Today is my first birthday being quit. I dig that.
gj bro
Quit~December - 2 - 2013
1st Floor~March - 11 - 2014

Offline copingwithoutcopen

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #238 on: April 21, 2013, 09:00:00 PM »
Quote from: Skoal
http://www.killthecan.org/facts/2weeks.asp

This is the link for the two week weakness. Very common to struggle all of a sudden around this time. It's short lived so don't stress on it.

I reccommended a book by Alan Carr - here it is on PDF.
http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5 ... 34a829.pdf

It isn't attitude. But it is all mental games for the next couple months. Remember this is Chess not checkers. Your inner addict is going to try to outsmart you at every turn. Thats the value of posting up your thoughts here. This place works like a mirror that will reflect back the truth. You can fool yourself, and probably some of us, but never all of us. Mostly because we all stood where you stand now. We know.

Don't hide the fact your struggling, your here for support.

Your original post raised alarm because you were creating reasons to start again. Thats known as use justification.

You and I both know that you actually DONT want to dip again. What you want is to feel normal. You needed nicotine to feel that way and so did I. The truth is that we were normal before we ever started using. Then eventually we had to use just to maintain normal.

Once you've kept quit for awhile you will return to feeling good without nicotine. Your no longer physically dependant on a drug to make you feel ok.

Be patient my friend, 13 days of quit is awesome, but it can't undo all the damage. Give it time. Until then try to push past all this and start enjoying life without nic.

Also Maybe this will help
Quote
THE VOID

Silly rabbits, nicotine wasn't filling the void it was creating it.

What exactly is it that your foggy mind imagines you lost? The only thing that chew is good for is to keep you addicted to chew.

You think you miss it? Is it the morning ritual of scraping the dead skin off your lip? Did it make you a better husband, father, son. Perhaps you miss being tethered to a dripping sewer of a spitter. I know!!! It made you smarter and the lump in your lip was a real hit with the ladies . You didn't lose anything , instead you have gained everything, perhaps your very life.

Nothing to miss thats all illusion created by the addiction

"Bullshit" you say "I remember that it was good and I liked it"
You miss that good dip? the perfect wedge that you think you remember. I bet you have a romantic memory , mine is of dipping in the bleachers at the highschool game on Friday night. (Secret for you) That's not the dip you get when you cave. Ohhhh nooooo buttercup, you get a dip that was just like your LAST ONE. Remember that lame chew? The one you had to have just to feed your habit, you had to think about where to put it because everywhere else hurt. Except this dip will be full of guilt and shame and failure. How could you start again when you have read the Tom Kern story? or looked at ODT's cancer surgery, or spent any time here at all?

Don't romanticize your addiction, if it was so great why did you want to stop in the first place.

It isnt the one good chew you get when you fail , its the 10,000 shitty chews that will come with it. How long will it take you to get back to 30 days of freedom? How long did it take you this time? for me it was years in between quits. You can't risk that, how many chances until you look your son or daughter in the eyes and tell them you killed yourself? and you did it on purpose. The next dip could be the one
that kills you. It isn't likely but the possibility is there. Jenny Kern said the odds of getting cancer from chew don't matter if your the one that gets it. Just sayin

Still on the fence eh, " it was always there for me" and " it would calm me down" you mumble. Nicotine is a vasoconstrictor it raises your blood pressure. It is also a stimulant. Sounds calming alright . More illusions of your nicotine soaked cerabellum. When you are angry you produce chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol. These literally take the nic out of your blood stream. So you go into withdrawl. So....we...would have a dip, and feel better. The calm you felt... was only the relief from withdrawl.

But we all believed it was THE DIP that calmed us, it was in reality the DIP that caused alot of the stress. Nicotine creating a void (can you see it yet)

The feel better high you seek, the replacement for your so called void? I think PBkids shrink friend was close but not quite there. If you can admit the void is caused by nicotine and your addiction, then the opposite must be true as well. Recovery from the addiction will fill the void. You can see this prove out in your own group and those ahead of you. Posts such as it was great to hang out with my kid and not worry about a place to spit or a spitter. Posts on how nice it feels to not HAVE to lie and hide. How proud you feel, how proud your loved ones are. Those feelings of relief, calm , become more and more as your quit progresses. THAT my addict brethren will fill the void, THAT is the good and the positive stuff that your already working for. (another secret) it's worth it and it feels so much better than you do now.

your body has to heal, your mind needs to heal. Dip literally changes the way your brain works, and it changes how your body produces and uses all of its feel good chemicals. It effects serotonin and adrenaline. The fog in my opinion is created by a lack of chemical production when your brain is trying to figure out what the hell to do with out a steady stream of posion ( you knew that nicotine is a potent neurotoxin right). Anti depressants act on the same chemicals that nic did. Coincidence that Wellbutrin does the same thing? You may feel depressed, the funk, the fog, the blahs and the fuck its. It hits with a repeatable timing in all the groups. Common sense tells you that a pattern that occurs across every group could be reality.This is your brain healing. Literally nicotine receptors are dying and new neuro pathways are forming. This is the price you must pay to earn your freedom. Embrace it. Rkymtnman gave you the best piece of advice yet. Excercise, Yes you frito lay lovin pork rind munching fattys need to get off your collective asses and excercise. Walking counts if you put some distance there. Excercise works on your body just like the rest of the stuff above. Excercise releases endorphins that will help you feel better. It is scientifically proven that you will have less craves and less severe craves AND a larger number of you droolers will stay quit. Thor's Pajammer is correct with meditation, check out what meditation does to brain chemistry as well. Its all the same , help yourself and take a walk.

As Forest Gump says thats all I have to say about that. Sorry for the long post, I hope it helps. It is really just a collection of things I've picked up from those who helped me. Some is from posts you'll find if you dig hard enough. One day at a time buttercups. If I can do it so can you. Now seriously put the pickle down and buy a ab roller.

Quitting can really be the easiest hard thing you'll ever do. Or it can be the hardest easy thing. Depends on how you flip the switch in your mind.

sM 
Good to see you in chat Ryan... Made me wanna go back and look at your intro. I hope you don't mind that I bounce this little gem up top. Stay strong brothers!

Offline rickddd

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #237 on: April 14, 2013, 05:14:00 PM »
Quote from: Its_Got2Happen
Celebrating firsts is pretty cool. Today is my first birthday being quit. I dig that.
That is really cool, Ryan! Congrats on your hard work so far, and stay quit brotha!
---------------------------
Quit Date: 1/6/2013
Hall of Fame: 4/15/2013
COMMA! 10/2/2015
43rd floor: 10/14/2024

Offline Dlee3

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #236 on: April 14, 2013, 05:13:00 PM »
Quote from: Its_Got2Happen
Celebrating firsts is pretty cool. Today is my first birthday being quit. I dig that.
Happy birthday, dude. Tomorrow is my daughter's eighth bday and the first in her life that I am dip-free. Equally cool.

And if I forgot to tell you, CONGRATS on the Hall!!!!

Offline Its_Got2Happen

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #235 on: April 14, 2013, 04:37:00 PM »
Celebrating firsts is pretty cool. Today is my first birthday being quit. I dig that.

Offline Its_Got2Happen

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #234 on: April 11, 2013, 06:23:00 AM »
Quote from: jbradley
Congrats man, you have come a long way. Proud to be quit with you today!
Thanks JB, and thanks for being around consistently. You helped me out of a couple of tough spots. Keep in touch man.

Offline jbradley

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #233 on: April 11, 2013, 12:49:00 AM »
Congrats man, you have come a long way. Proud to be quit with you today!

Offline Kubrick

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #232 on: April 10, 2013, 11:47:00 AM »
'worship' 'Cheers' 'wave' 'band' 'party' 'oh yeah' 'dance' 'party2' 'chew2' 'clap' 'clap'

Congrats man! Glad to see you here.
Quit date 03/24/2012
HOF date 07/01/2012

"The only regret I ever see on this site is from those who fail..." - Sac

My Intro

Offline mich 34

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #231 on: April 10, 2013, 10:37:00 AM »
Way to go Ryan! Damn nice start with 100 days down. It's great seeing how your quit has changed focus from scratching to keep yourself quit for another day to being there to support the guys who are at that point right now, keep up the great work man!
my intro
QD 07-19-2012
Group - Roctober Madmen Post with some Madmen (and women)
HOF 10-27-12 HOF Speech
2nd Floor 2-4-13, 3rd Floor 5-15-13
1 year of freedom - 7-19-2013. Thank you KTC
4th Floor 8-23-13, 5th Floor 12-1-13, 6th Floor 3-11-14, 7th Floor 6-19-14, 8th Floor 9-27-14, 9th Floor 1-5-15

Offline Tool shed

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #230 on: April 10, 2013, 07:29:00 AM »
Quote from: Its_Got2Happen
Quote from: Tool
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: Its_Got2Happen
100 days tomorrow.  It has been a good ride so far.  I enjoyed reflecting on the past 3 months as I wrote the HOF speech.  I have so many people to thank.

I have only 1 regret about quitting.  Why the hell did I wait so long?  I guess it was because I was convinced it wasn't possible.  That is all different now.  Thanks KTC.

Ryan


Here it is.


index.php?showtopic=8088
100 days already? Damn. That went fast (to me LOL) Great work.

Thought we were gonna lose you a couple times there. Way to scratch, fight, and claw. Not any ass hat can do what you just did.

I have a sense you are still struggling a little bit. Maybe I'm wrong, but just take a few steps back and take some big ass deep breaths and really think about what you just did.

Its amazing.

Celebrate my man. The HOF is a place for fucking champions. Welcome to the club.

Quite a journey your on sir, but remember...

The point of a journey is not to arrive but the point of departure is not to return.

Quit on!!!!
This is a great thing to see Ryan. I am not sure of what "success" is in this endeavor but I suspect it is a series of steps that we measure in minutes for the fist few days, hours for the next week, and days for the rest of our lives. Success includes staying clean from nicotine but also helping others. You are succeeding on both counts. Milestones like this are to be celebrated, congrats.

Shed
Though I may struggle, I have my eye on the prize. As I said in the HOF speech, 100 days is a good start. I have a lifetime to get better at this, and get better I will.

Oh this just popped up after I hit send, it is a post of mine from Jan 7th. Jan 7th, (Day 7) There are some bad ass quitters on here today. I am excited to be one of them. I got a dose of reality today on the way to work though. I was happy to feel better last night, I felt so good I could have written HOF, hell no, long way to go, felt like day 2 again, cried like a baby all the way to work. Can't drink coffee anymore either. I hate this nasty addiction. Fuck the nic bitch and fuck the millionaire industry.


I never want to be there again, I remember how I felt that day. And guess what, I can drink coffee again :), just not as much. See you tomorrow, Ryan
Amen Brother. Avoiding ever having to repeat those first few days is a powerful motivator. Congrats again and thanks for all you have done to positively impact others.

Offline Its_Got2Happen

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #229 on: April 10, 2013, 06:29:00 AM »
Quote from: Tool
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: Its_Got2Happen
100 days tomorrow.  It has been a good ride so far.  I enjoyed reflecting on the past 3 months as I wrote the HOF speech.  I have so many people to thank.

I have only 1 regret about quitting.  Why the hell did I wait so long?  I guess it was because I was convinced it wasn't possible.  That is all different now.  Thanks KTC.

Ryan


Here it is.


index.php?showtopic=8088
100 days already? Damn. That went fast (to me LOL) Great work.

Thought we were gonna lose you a couple times there. Way to scratch, fight, and claw. Not any ass hat can do what you just did.

I have a sense you are still struggling a little bit. Maybe I'm wrong, but just take a few steps back and take some big ass deep breaths and really think about what you just did.

Its amazing.

Celebrate my man. The HOF is a place for fucking champions. Welcome to the club.

Quite a journey your on sir, but remember...

The point of a journey is not to arrive but the point of departure is not to return.

Quit on!!!!
This is a great thing to see Ryan. I am not sure of what "success" is in this endeavor but I suspect it is a series of steps that we measure in minutes for the fist few days, hours for the next week, and days for the rest of our lives. Success includes staying clean from nicotine but also helping others. You are succeeding on both counts. Milestones like this are to be celebrated, congrats.

Shed
Though I may struggle, I have my eye on the prize. As I said in the HOF speech, 100 days is a good start. I have a lifetime to get better at this, and get better I will.

Oh this just popped up after I hit send, it is a post of mine from Jan 7th. Jan 7th, (Day 7) There are some bad ass quitters on here today. I am excited to be one of them. I got a dose of reality today on the way to work though. I was happy to feel better last night, I felt so good I could have written HOF, hell no, long way to go, felt like day 2 again, cried like a baby all the way to work. Can't drink coffee anymore either. I hate this nasty addiction. Fuck the nic bitch and fuck the millionaire industry.


I never want to be there again, I remember how I felt that day. And guess what, I can drink coffee again :), just not as much. See you tomorrow, Ryan

Offline Tool shed

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #228 on: April 10, 2013, 06:11:00 AM »
Quote from: Diesel2112
Quote from: Its_Got2Happen
100 days tomorrow.  It has been a good ride so far.  I enjoyed reflecting on the past 3 months as I wrote the HOF speech.  I have so many people to thank.

I have only 1 regret about quitting.  Why the hell did I wait so long?  I guess it was because I was convinced it wasn't possible.  That is all different now.  Thanks KTC.

Ryan


Here it is.


index.php?showtopic=8088
100 days already? Damn. That went fast (to me LOL) Great work.

Thought we were gonna lose you a couple times there. Way to scratch, fight, and claw. Not any ass hat can do what you just did.

I have a sense you are still struggling a little bit. Maybe I'm wrong, but just take a few steps back and take some big ass deep breaths and really think about what you just did.

Its amazing.

Celebrate my man. The HOF is a place for fucking champions. Welcome to the club.

Quite a journey your on sir, but remember...

The point of a journey is not to arrive but the point of departure is not to return.

Quit on!!!!
This is a great thing to see Ryan. I am not sure of what "success" is in this endeavor but I suspect it is a series of steps that we measure in minutes for the fist few days, hours for the next week, and days for the rest of our lives. Success includes staying clean from nicotine but also helping others. You are succeeding on both counts. Milestones like this are to be celebrated, congrats.

Shed