Introduction

[omahaflyer]

70s funks are the real deal. Two blurry days in a row. I am just fine as long as I can stick my head in a hole and not talk to anyone.

Wife thinks I should snap my fingers and be back to normal. What the hell is normal? I have been poisoning my brain for at least 9000 days, 74 days nic free is great but I am realizing that I have not yet begun to "heal". It is gonna take alot more than 2 months to undo the damage I have done.

I wish I could say I am getting so much better mentally with each passing day. But the truth is being quit has just shed the light on how emotionally incompetent I am. It has made me realize that I lack the skills necessary to deal with real world stresses. I am not going back to nicotine. No way. I know there is nothing to gain by using. But I wish there was a way I could fast forward the healing.

Wife thinks I should seek medical help. Maybe get on anxiety meds or Wellbutrin or something. Big fight over that yesterday and today. I think I just need more time. Any advice from the pros out there?

I have reached the conclusion that we all share each others victories and failures. I know after reading some posts of victories, big or small that it helps me with my quit. Please keep up the fight and take one day at a time. When you win ... I win.

[Mthomas3824]

70s funks are the real deal. Two blurry days in a row. I am just fine as long as I can stick my head in a hole and not talk to anyone.

Wife thinks I should snap my fingers and be back to normal. What the hell is normal? I have been poisoning my brain for at least 9000 days, 74 days nic free is great but I am realizing that I have not yet begun to "heal". It is gonna take alot more than 2 months to undo the damage I have done.

I wish I could say I am getting so much better mentally with each passing day. But the truth is being quit has just shed the light on how emotionally incompetent I am. It has made me realize that I lack the skills necessary to deal with real world stresses. I am not going back to nicotine. No way. I know there is nothing to gain by using. But I wish there was a way I could fast forward the healing.

Wife thinks I should seek medical help. Maybe get on anxiety meds or Wellbutrin or something. Big fight over that yesterday and today. I think I just need more time. Any advice from the pros out there?

This is part of the fight for freedom from vice! You are simply on course and winning!

Rewiring. Between now and the hall, you are going to have a breakthrough and your wife is going to be so turned on by the man that smiles and loves...well loves living!!!!


It might be rough now but you have the faith that nicotine is a shit can of lies! You're being tested.
Just keep quitting and keep your word. Please trust me, it gets to be awesome and you are right, nicotine is just a shit can of lies.

Keep the faith brother, it gets better and worse but it is always better to live nic free!!!!

PS: you are venting here and not taking your healing out on loved ones right? Tell me to kiss your ass before you ever say it to you're wife. I can take it and dish it out. We do get it and venting here is a healthy way to cope.

Are you pissed? Then bring it bitch! Let it out and say whatever here.

[Scowick65]

70s funks are the real deal.  Two blurry days in a row.  I am just fine as long as I can stick my head in a hole and not talk to anyone. 

Wife thinks I should snap my fingers and be back to normal.  What the hell is normal?  I have been poisoning my brain for at least 9000 days, 74 days nic free is great but I am realizing that I have not yet begun to "heal".  It is gonna take alot more than 2 months to undo the damage I have done. 

I wish I could say I am getting so much better mentally with each passing day.  But the truth is being quit has just shed the light on how emotionally incompetent I am.  It has made me realize that I lack the skills necessary to deal with real world stresses.  I am not going back to nicotine.  No way.  I know there is nothing to gain by using.  But I wish there was a way I could fast forward the healing. 

Wife thinks I should seek medical help.  Maybe get on anxiety meds or Wellbutrin or something.  Big fight over that yesterday and today.  I think I just need more time.  Any advice from the pros out there?

/QUOTE]
Anxiety, yeah a little bit. But it is episodic. All of a sudden I'll get a little panicked, like a crave, my jaw starts to hurt and I feel the need to crack it. Hard to focus on anything. It lasts a few minutes, maybe an hour, then subsides. The trouble is when someone is in my face during that time it can be ugly.

Depression, I really don't think so. My wife just sees me sitting around doing nothing a lot more than she has in the 17 years I have known her. She doesnt understand the changes I am going thru. She is used to me working my ass off 24/7, never sitting still, never slowing down. She is convinced I am depressed, I think I am just no longer drugged.

Hopeless? No, not hopeless at all. Actually hopeful, for the 1st time I can remember. Several years ago after a failed quit attempt, I resolved myself to the fact that I would never be free of dip. Now here I sit 74 days later, 100% convinced that I will not dip today and quite sure that tomorrow will be the same deal. I do not want it anymore.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Cant believe I am still bellyaching after 74 days, pretty pathetic. I should be at the point of helping others by now.

A lot of people funk in the 70's. Don't worry about helping others right now. Just worry about you. Nothing you are going through is abnormal. Just part of the process. Chin up little camper .

Great job on the quit! This is from SloalMonster. Nicotine does not fill the hole, it creates it. In due time you will create a new normal.

[Diesel2112]

70s funks are the real deal.  Two blurry days in a row.  I am just fine as long as I can stick my head in a hole and not talk to anyone. 

Wife thinks I should snap my fingers and be back to normal.  What the hell is normal?  I have been poisoning my brain for at least 9000 days, 74 days nic free is great but I am realizing that I have not yet begun to "heal".  It is gonna take alot more than 2 months to undo the damage I have done. 

I wish I could say I am getting so much better mentally with each passing day.  But the truth is being quit has just shed the light on how emotionally incompetent I am.  It has made me realize that I lack the skills necessary to deal with real world stresses.  I am not going back to nicotine.  No way.  I know there is nothing to gain by using.  But I wish there was a way I could fast forward the healing. 

Wife thinks I should seek medical help.  Maybe get on anxiety meds or Wellbutrin or something.  Big fight over that yesterday and today.  I think I just need more time.  Any advice from the pros out there?

/QUOTE]
Anxiety, yeah a little bit. But it is episodic. All of a sudden I'll get a little panicked, like a crave, my jaw starts to hurt and I feel the need to crack it. Hard to focus on anything. It lasts a few minutes, maybe an hour, then subsides. The trouble is when someone is in my face during that time it can be ugly.

Depression, I really don't think so. My wife just sees me sitting around doing nothing a lot more than she has in the 17 years I have known her. She doesnt understand the changes I am going thru. She is used to me working my ass off 24/7, never sitting still, never slowing down. She is convinced I am depressed, I think I am just no longer drugged.

Hopeless? No, not hopeless at all. Actually hopeful, for the 1st time I can remember. Several years ago after a failed quit attempt, I resolved myself to the fact that I would never be free of dip. Now here I sit 74 days later, 100% convinced that I will not dip today and quite sure that tomorrow will be the same deal. I do not want it anymore.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Cant believe I am still bellyaching after 74 days, pretty pathetic. I should be at the point of helping others by now.

A lot of people funk in the 70's. Don't worry about helping others right now. Just worry about you. Nothing you are going through is abnormal. Just part of the process. Chin up little camper .

[Diesel2112]

70s funks are the real deal. Two blurry days in a row. I am just fine as long as I can stick my head in a hole and not talk to anyone.

Wife thinks I should snap my fingers and be back to normal. What the hell is normal? I have been poisoning my brain for at least 9000 days, 74 days nic free is great but I am realizing that I have not yet begun to "heal". It is gonna take alot more than 2 months to undo the damage I have done.

I wish I could say I am getting so much better mentally with each passing day. But the truth is being quit has just shed the light on how emotionally incompetent I am. It has made me realize that I lack the skills necessary to deal with real world stresses. I am not going back to nicotine. No way. I know there is nothing to gain by using. But I wish there was a way I could fast forward the healing.

Wife thinks I should seek medical help. Maybe get on anxiety meds or Wellbutrin or something. Big fight over that yesterday and today. I think I just need more time. Any advice from the pros out there?

It's a funk, not a black hole. You will come out of it. Patience. As you stated, your days quit to days posioned ratio is still jacked up. There is no fast toward button. Trust me, I searched the globe for it.

Also, you do not "lack the skill" to deal with real world stresses. Nicotine buried the bastards DEEP down inside your brain. They are there. They just need to be dug up again.

Meds? Do you feel a lot of anxiety? Have you had panic or anxiety attacks? If so then perhaps anti anxiety meds could help. Do you feel depressed, like waaaay down in the dumps, hopeless? If so maybe you could talk to your doc. He would be able to steer you better than I or anyone else could , here.

Your gonna pull through this man. Your in the suck zone but the end zone is near, keep fighting bro. Remember, this is not the rest of your life. Just a small snapshot of struggle that will lead you to freedom and a better life in the big picture.

Quit with you today! Proudly!!!

[Its_Got2Happen]

70s funks are the real deal.  Two blurry days in a row.  I am just fine as long as I can stick my head in a hole and not talk to anyone. 

Wife thinks I should snap my fingers and be back to normal.  What the hell is normal?  I have been poisoning my brain for at least 9000 days, 74 days nic free is great but I am realizing that I have not yet begun to "heal".  It is gonna take alot more than 2 months to undo the damage I have done. 

I wish I could say I am getting so much better mentally with each passing day.  But the truth is being quit has just shed the light on how emotionally incompetent I am.  It has made me realize that I lack the skills necessary to deal with real world stresses.  I am not going back to nicotine.  No way.  I know there is nothing to gain by using.  But I wish there was a way I could fast forward the healing. 

Wife thinks I should seek medical help.  Maybe get on anxiety meds or Wellbutrin or something.  Big fight over that yesterday and today.  I think I just need more time.  Any advice from the pros out there?

It's a funk, not a black hole. You will come out of it. Patience. As you stated, your days quit to days posioned ratio is still jacked up. There is no fast toward button. Trust me, I searched the globe for it.

Also, you do not "lack the skill" to deal with real world stresses. Nicotine buried the bastards DEEP down inside your brain. They are there. They just need to be dug up again.

Meds? Do you feel a lot of anxiety? Have you had panic or anxiety attacks? If so then perhaps anti anxiety meds could help. Do you feel depressed, like waaaay down in the dumps, hopeless? If so maybe you could talk to your doc. He would be able to steer you better than I or anyone else could , here.

Your gonna pull through this man. Your in the suck zone but the end zone is near, keep fighting bro. Remember, this is not the rest of your life. Just a small snapshot of struggle that will lead you to freedom and a better life in the big picture.

Quit with you today! Proudly!!!

Anxiety, yeah a little bit. But it is episodic. All of a sudden I'll get a little panicked, like a crave, my jaw starts to hurt and I feel the need to crack it. Hard to focus on anything. It lasts a few minutes, maybe an hour, then subsides. The trouble is when someone is in my face during that time it can be ugly.

Depression, I really don't think so. My wife just sees me sitting around doing nothing a lot more than she has in the 17 years I have known her. She doesnt understand the changes I am going thru. She is used to me working my ass off 24/7, never sitting still, never slowing down. She is convinced I am depressed, I think I am just no longer drugged.

Hopeless? No, not hopeless at all. Actually hopeful, for the 1st time I can remember. Several years ago after a failed quit attempt, I resolved myself to the fact that I would never be free of dip. Now here I sit 74 days later, 100% convinced that I will not dip today and quite sure that tomorrow will be the same deal. I do not want it anymore.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Cant believe I am still bellyaching after 74 days, pretty pathetic. I should be at the point of helping others by now.

[evilearl]

When the weather gets nice and I start working in the yard is going to be a challenge for me. I always dipped while working in the yard.

[Diesel2112]

70s funks are the real deal. Two blurry days in a row. I am just fine as long as I can stick my head in a hole and not talk to anyone.

Wife thinks I should snap my fingers and be back to normal. What the hell is normal? I have been poisoning my brain for at least 9000 days, 74 days nic free is great but I am realizing that I have not yet begun to "heal". It is gonna take alot more than 2 months to undo the damage I have done.

I wish I could say I am getting so much better mentally with each passing day. But the truth is being quit has just shed the light on how emotionally incompetent I am. It has made me realize that I lack the skills necessary to deal with real world stresses. I am not going back to nicotine. No way. I know there is nothing to gain by using. But I wish there was a way I could fast forward the healing.

Wife thinks I should seek medical help. Maybe get on anxiety meds or Wellbutrin or something. Big fight over that yesterday and today. I think I just need more time. Any advice from the pros out there?

It's a funk, not a black hole. You will come out of it. Patience. As you stated, your days quit to days posioned ratio is still jacked up. There is no fast toward button. Trust me, I searched the globe for it.

Also, you do not "lack the skill" to deal with real world stresses. Nicotine buried the bastards DEEP down inside your brain. They are there. They just need to be dug up again.

Meds? Do you feel a lot of anxiety? Have you had panic or anxiety attacks? If so then perhaps anti anxiety meds could help. Do you feel depressed, like waaaay down in the dumps, hopeless? If so maybe you could talk to your doc. He would be able to steer you better than I or anyone else could , here.

Your gonna pull through this man. Your in the suck zone but the end zone is near, keep fighting bro. Remember, this is not the rest of your life. Just a small snapshot of struggle that will lead you to freedom and a better life in the big picture.

Quit with you today! Proudly!!!

[Its_Got2Happen]

70s funks are the real deal. Two blurry days in a row. I am just fine as long as I can stick my head in a hole and not talk to anyone.

Wife thinks I should snap my fingers and be back to normal. What the hell is normal? I have been poisoning my brain for at least 9000 days, 74 days nic free is great but I am realizing that I have not yet begun to "heal". It is gonna take alot more than 2 months to undo the damage I have done.

I wish I could say I am getting so much better mentally with each passing day. But the truth is being quit has just shed the light on how emotionally incompetent I am. It has made me realize that I lack the skills necessary to deal with real world stresses. I am not going back to nicotine. No way. I know there is nothing to gain by using. But I wish there was a way I could fast forward the healing.

Wife thinks I should seek medical help. Maybe get on anxiety meds or Wellbutrin or something. Big fight over that yesterday and today. I think I just need more time. Any advice from the pros out there?

[Screw_the_Chew]

Day 69 quit. Pulled off a few projects today that I have NEVER done without dip.

1. Mixed and stuffed 30# of venison italian sausage.
2. Cleaned out the garage.

These are both tasks for which I was 100% convinced that dip was required. That sounds silly to say outloud, even as I type this I think, "what a pathetic idiot". But after a lifetime spent dipping, that is the shit rattling around in my head. Addict bullshit is what it is. But until it is all dispelled, it is my truth. And that is my battle. I have lived my life chemically dependent. The past 69 days has shown me I can "survive" without it. Learning how to "actually live" is my next challenge. Conquering all the triggers that life throws at me and still choosing not to dip. Coping with tension and stress and dealing with life's problems and still choosing not to dip. Ok I better stop now, I think I am about to write an HOF here and I still have a month to go.

That bitch had me by the balls for decades. I guess now I am just taking back my life, 1 day at a time. Here's to small victories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's awesome man! I sure know the feeling.

I have taxes coming up and I have NEVER done them without at least several dips. I'm not sure if you experience the same thing but when a task comes up that I always had a dip while doing, I get so unmotivated to the point where I just don't want to do the task at all. BUT I tell myself it's the nic Bitch talking and force myself to do it......haven't yet come across a task that I couldn't really do without dip; nor do I expect to.

In my opinion these triggers are by far the biggest antagonizes about the quit....and the thing is you can't predict them all. I'm right there with you man. It helps to post, share, and discuss these triggers and more importantly what we did to overcome them.

I'm only on day 8 but I'm quit with you too.

[Tool shed]

Day 69 quit.  Pulled off a few projects today that I have NEVER done without dip.  

1. Mixed and stuffed 30# of venison italian sausage.
2. Cleaned out the garage.

These are both tasks for which I was 100% convinced that dip was required.  That sounds silly to say outloud, even as I type this I think, "what a pathetic idiot".  But after a lifetime spent dipping, that is the shit rattling around in my head.  Addict bullshit is what it is.  But until it is all dispelled, it is my truth.  And that is my battle.  I have lived my life chemically dependent.  The past 69 days has shown me I can "survive" without it.  Learning how to "actually live" is my next challenge.  Conquering all the triggers that life throws at me and still choosing not to dip.  Coping with tension and stress and dealing with life's problems and still choosing not to dip.  Ok I better stop now, I think I am about to write an HOF here and I still have a month to go. 

That bitch had me by the balls for decades.  I guess now I am just taking back my life, 1 day at a time.  Here's to small victories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nice job bro

I don't need all 30 pounds of that sausage, 5 pounds would be good though. Thanks for the story. I am proud to quit with you today.

Shed

[CleanFuel]

Day 69 quit. Pulled off a few projects today that I have NEVER done without dip.

1. Mixed and stuffed 30# of venison italian sausage.
2. Cleaned out the garage.

These are both tasks for which I was 100% convinced that dip was required. That sounds silly to say outloud, even as I type this I think, "what a pathetic idiot". But after a lifetime spent dipping, that is the shit rattling around in my head. Addict bullshit is what it is. But until it is all dispelled, it is my truth. And that is my battle. I have lived my life chemically dependent. The past 69 days has shown me I can "survive" without it. Learning how to "actually live" is my next challenge. Conquering all the triggers that life throws at me and still choosing not to dip. Coping with tension and stress and dealing with life's problems and still choosing not to dip. Ok I better stop now, I think I am about to write an HOF here and I still have a month to go.

That bitch had me by the balls for decades. I guess now I am just taking back my life, 1 day at a time. Here's to small victories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nice job bro

[Its_Got2Happen]

Day 69 quit. Pulled off a few projects today that I have NEVER done without dip.

1. Mixed and stuffed 30# of venison italian sausage.
2. Cleaned out the garage.

These are both tasks for which I was 100% convinced that dip was required. That sounds silly to say outloud, even as I type this I think, "what a pathetic idiot". But after a lifetime spent dipping, that is the shit rattling around in my head. Addict bullshit is what it is. But until it is all dispelled, it is my truth. And that is my battle. I have lived my life chemically dependent. The past 69 days has shown me I can "survive" without it. Learning how to "actually live" is my next challenge. Conquering all the triggers that life throws at me and still choosing not to dip. Coping with tension and stress and dealing with life's problems and still choosing not to dip. Ok I better stop now, I think I am about to write an HOF here and I still have a month to go.

That bitch had me by the balls for decades. I guess now I am just taking back my life, 1 day at a time. Here's to small victories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tool shed]

Day 67, An odd day for me today.  I had been cruising along these last few weeks.  Thought my quit was rock solid, I mean I knew it was, uh I mean, I know it is.  Shit, after today, I am not sure I know anything.

I step outside after a half day of work, blue sky, sun shining and a balmy 54 degrees.  Instant crave I was not ready for.  I have spent the last 67 days trapped in the cold, gray skied MI winter.  I never would have dreamed that nice weather was a trigger.  I got in my truck, (which was nearly out of gas), and whipped out of the structure.  For the next 15 minutes while driving I experienced the single strongest craving in 67 days.  It started as a thought, than became a temptation, and finally grew into a panic.  At one point I started getting TMJ pain and began cracking my jaw, (an old nervous habit that I used to have when it really needed to scratch the nicotine itch).

I pulled into a gas station and slammed the car in park.  I wasnt sure at that point if I was going inside for a tin or just stopping to get gas.  But for the first time in 67 days, I had opened that door of possibility wide as hell.  What the hell is wrong with me, I am thinking?

I immediately texted this message to 5 quit friends in my contact list.  "SOS, I need a kick in the balls, not sure what is happening to me".  Immediately my phone began ringing, not 1, not 2, not 3, but all 5 people called me, or texted some words of encouragement.  I spent 5 or 10 minutes on the phone with a bad ass quitter from AZ, thanks JB.  Within a few minutes I had my head out of my ass and I was carrying on with my day, still quit. 

Incidentally I nearly missed posting roll today too.  I was running late to work, having some problems with my lap top all week.  I am gave up and just said screw it, I will post tonight.  Glad I got that post in.  It would have been alot easier to cave if I hadnt made a promise. 

Posted roll and used the tools. Whew, I am begining to see why people saw, "keep you guard up".

Warm weather is definitely a trigger for me; especially the first nice day of the season or in a long time. I think changes of emotion are a trigger and when there is a nice day, we get excited and that excitement turns into a craveÂ…..at least for me it does. I guess you never know when an unexpected trigger could set of a craveÂ…Â…BUT you didnÂ’t cave in my friend! ThatÂ’s great you had such support and quick responses from your quit buddies. Good job man. Stories like this are in inspiration to me.

Glad to help man. I will make time for anyone that sends out an SOS and hope that someone would do the same for me. Luckily I have a job that I can take 5 or 10 minutes out when needed (9 times out of 10) You got this shit, don't be afraid to use the tools given to you.

Proud to be quit with you today.

QLF!

Really proud of you man. Thanks for the story, oddly it helps hearing that others struggle like me. Knowing this has a calming effect on me. I am quitting with you today.

[jbradley]

Day 67, An odd day for me today.  I had been cruising along these last few weeks.  Thought my quit was rock solid, I mean I knew it was, uh I mean, I know it is.  Shit, after today, I am not sure I know anything.

I step outside after a half day of work, blue sky, sun shining and a balmy 54 degrees.  Instant crave I was not ready for.  I have spent the last 67 days trapped in the cold, gray skied MI winter.  I never would have dreamed that nice weather was a trigger.  I got in my truck, (which was nearly out of gas), and whipped out of the structure.  For the next 15 minutes while driving I experienced the single strongest craving in 67 days.  It started as a thought, than became a temptation, and finally grew into a panic.  At one point I started getting TMJ pain and began cracking my jaw, (an old nervous habit that I used to have when it really needed to scratch the nicotine itch).

I pulled into a gas station and slammed the car in park.  I wasnt sure at that point if I was going inside for a tin or just stopping to get gas.  But for the first time in 67 days, I had opened that door of possibility wide as hell.  What the hell is wrong with me, I am thinking?

I immediately texted this message to 5 quit friends in my contact list.  "SOS, I need a kick in the balls, not sure what is happening to me".  Immediately my phone began ringing, not 1, not 2, not 3, but all 5 people called me, or texted some words of encouragement.  I spent 5 or 10 minutes on the phone with a bad ass quitter from AZ, thanks JB.  Within a few minutes I had my head out of my ass and I was carrying on with my day, still quit. 

Incidentally I nearly missed posting roll today too.  I was running late to work, having some problems with my lap top all week.  I am gave up and just said screw it, I will post tonight.  Glad I got that post in.  It would have been alot easier to cave if I hadnt made a promise. 

Posted roll and used the tools. Whew, I am begining to see why people saw, "keep you guard up".

Warm weather is definitely a trigger for me; especially the first nice day of the season or in a long time. I think changes of emotion are a trigger and when there is a nice day, we get excited and that excitement turns into a craveÂ…..at least for me it does. I guess you never know when an unexpected trigger could set of a craveÂ…Â…BUT you didnÂ’t cave in my friend! ThatÂ’s great you had such support and quick responses from your quit buddies. Good job man. Stories like this are in inspiration to me.

Glad to help man. I will make time for anyone that sends out an SOS and hope that someone would do the same for me. Luckily I have a job that I can take 5 or 10 minutes out when needed (9 times out of 10) You got this shit, don't be afraid to use the tools given to you.

Proud to be quit with you today.

QLF!