You know, I guess that was a pretty fucked up way to do it, but I hate that stuff now. I need to hate it. I was already hating what it cost me, the morning breath, the shit all over my truck but I needed to hate the addiction. Now I do and I quit. Never again.
Today I quit, just like yesterday. For any people here going thru your first week, I'm going to give you my run down of what I went thru. Keep in mind that I was very determined to quit and my mind was made up.
Day 1, probably too emotional and irritable. Wife noticed but supported me.
Day 2, Gas and a lot of it. wasn't able to squeeze enough out and fog started to set in
Day 3, Still lots of gas and heavy fog. This was the hardest day yet. I kinda liked the fog at times. My sleep was weird during the heavy fog. I didn't sleep much but when I did I went into deep sleep immediately and my muscles felt very relaxed. Also, I was pretty nauseated during this time.
Day 4, Tried to catch up on sleep. Again, heavy fog and gas. Slept in 30 minute intervals. (best I could do) once again the sleep felt deep just not long. Toilet at least 5 times that day.
Day 5, Sleep better, cravings drawing down but sore tongue and gums. really sore gums and the fog was still pretty thick.
Day 6 and 7 (today), Slept great last night but only for 5 hours or so. Feel rested and the fog is lifting. I have a sense of accomplishment but know that a long battle is still before me. the BM's still haven't returned to normal but I'm free of nicotine and that I love.
Mogul
I found it very beneficial to keep a timeline of my quit. Anytime I was down, I would read it and it helped a lot. I bet there were days when I read it 10 times.
Hope it helps you some.
My "suck scale" looked something like this:
Day 1-3: bad fog, my brain didn't work at all. Very little sleep and couldn't take a dump to save my life. I wanted a dip every second of each day.
Day 4-10: Pretty much out of the fog but bad, bad cravings and headache every second of the day
Day 11-14: My cruise control days, I didn't think about dipping much and craves were few and far between. Sleeping good but too much.
Day 15-21 Starting to get my energy level back up. Craves about 2-4 per day and short. The first thing every morning, I started to get an empty and sick feeling in my stomach when I thought about not being able to dip. Started losing my temper easily.
Day 22-25 No real changes, cruising along but feeling a little depressed. I started learning how to hate my addiction and was really mad about it.
Day 26- 30: Wow, I was starting to gain a lot of weight. Weird how I replaced Cope with Ice Cream and cake. I don't even eat sweets but here I am 10 lbs heavier. I don't care, I'm not dipping and the craves are mild.
Day 31-38: Freaking fog was back, some nasty craves and my temper way out of control. WTF!
Day 39-60: The roller coaster days. Mod craves followed by no craves, bad temper and mild depression. A difficult time but I was not giving up at this point.
Day 61-73: The best days by far. Seldom think about dip, temper is way better, sleeping like a normal person and just feeling pretty darn good. I am stacking up these good days to recharge my batteries and prepare for the next round of fights".
Day 74- 85: Really good days. Strong cravings when I have too many drinks so I have been careful with drinking. Normal days are now 0-1 crave. My temper has been completely under control for 2 weeks now.
Day 86-99: Zero craves, zero dip dreams and temper under control. The strong craves when I drink are also gone. I am disgusted when I see someone dip. Proudly watching my group hit HOF one at a time; which is just how we quit, one day at a time. My guard is still held high as I know the fight is far from over.
Day 100-109: I am on a high as I have reached my first goal. My guard is held the highest it has ever been in because I will not disappoint all those who have helped me.
