My good cave

[T-Cell]

Seasoned quitters I have a question.  I haven't had a crave in many weeks.  I have had some minor ups and downs (funks).  Haven't really thought about long term quitting, pretty much I've accepted the fact that I'm in this for the long term of quitting 1 day at a time.  Now my dilemma:  I feel a loss.  That portion of my life that ruled for 40 years is gone and has left a huge hole in my life.  How do we replace that loss?  I've had problems with other vises and am very frightened that one of the other less savory activities may replace my nicotine use if I'm not very cautious.  I would guess that this is not unusual but I haven't seen a lot about it.  Sure we have seen many of us that after making progress on nicotine find we have other issues we have a desire to quit or cut back on.  I feel like a little boy that lost his security blanket and can't seem to replace it.  (It feels like I had that blanket till high school and I'm too old to trade it for a tricycle). I suspect that this loss and failure to fill it is the cause of many caves.  Damn it seems hard to teach an old dog new tricks!

Don't worry you'll still get craves too 'bang head'

I've been craving like a mofo for the past week. No idea why, it just came on suddenly. Good thing I still have some hooch around, been chewing that again.

I filled my void with extra crappy food and now I have to diet again. It's going well, I'm down 6 pounds in the past 2 weeks. Slow and steady wins the race.

Have to agree with Kubrick. I am following the both of you and every once in ahwile I get that wave of asking myself "What that F*ck as I could go for one right now". But I always turn to Hooch, the big bag of seeds and in 30 minutes the wave passes.

Wt - for me I have taken up a few projects. Of course #1 is losing the weight so have been exercising more, even the little stuff as just got one of those bicycle pedals that people use for rehab. I think it works well when I am not on a chair with wheels. #2 is I find myself reading more often, just picking up a new book or my new kindle fire to enjoy. And #3 my big project for the next couple of months is putting all of the audio cassettes that the wife and I have onto CD's. Mainly to save the space here but wow I never remembered how much good stuff I had....

I guess what I am saying is try to pick something like a new hobby that you like to do in order to fill that void.

And am glad and honored to stand beside you in this day to day fight.

I know what you are feeling Wt. That crap used to be such a big part of our lives. For me, it was almost like I couldn't function without it. I know that I am still discovering new strengths everyday though. I think that will never stop. It is truly amazing to realize how strong we really are.

Concerning the hole you see in your life now, I feel that too sometimes. What I try to do is, and I say try, because I still have trouble keeping motivated, is to just try new things and make each day count. There are all sorts of new things that I think I would have never experienced had I still been using chewing tobacco. Really, that stuff was holding us back. I say we fill that hole in our lives with new experiences each. Make these days count, because we never get them back. Keep up the badass quitting and sorry for the rant.

Wt57, You're now a different person without the nic. You can now dive deeper into what you're already doing: family, job, friends, voluteering, whatever floats your boat. Without nic, we are more alive, more in tune with reality. Fill the hole with "more" of who you really are. If the hole is too big, then fill it with daily unselfish acts.
Cheers brother! 'bang head'

For what it is worth WT. I haven't had cravings since the day 80s, but I do continue to have the "hole" or that "somethings missing" issue. I remain active on this site to remind myself of my quit commitment daily, not because I'm craving like a mofo.
For folks like you and I that have chewed for more than 1/2 our lives, there is no before picture. We never were tobaco-free functioning adults before, we started getting chemically altered when we were kids.
Try some new things, do the things you love more. I'm guessing we will reach an equilibrium after a couple more years of quit. This is just a guess, I figure it takes time to re-wire my brain chemically after that many years of abuse.

[30isEnuff]

Seasoned quitters I have a question.  I haven't had a crave in many weeks.  I have had some minor ups and downs (funks).  Haven't really thought about long term quitting, pretty much I've accepted the fact that I'm in this for the long term of quitting 1 day at a time.  Now my dilemma:  I feel a loss.  That portion of my life that ruled for 40 years is gone and has left a huge hole in my life.  How do we replace that loss?  I've had problems with other vises and am very frightened that one of the other less savory activities may replace my nicotine use if I'm not very cautious.  I would guess that this is not unusual but I haven't seen a lot about it.  Sure we have seen many of us that after making progress on nicotine find we have other issues we have a desire to quit or cut back on.  I feel like a little boy that lost his security blanket and can't seem to replace it.  (It feels like I had that blanket till high school and I'm too old to trade it for a tricycle). I suspect that this loss and failure to fill it is the cause of many caves.  Damn it seems hard to teach an old dog new tricks!

Don't worry you'll still get craves too 'bang head'

I've been craving like a mofo for the past week. No idea why, it just came on suddenly. Good thing I still have some hooch around, been chewing that again.

I filled my void with extra crappy food and now I have to diet again. It's going well, I'm down 6 pounds in the past 2 weeks. Slow and steady wins the race.

Have to agree with Kubrick. I am following the both of you and every once in ahwile I get that wave of asking myself "What that F*ck as I could go for one right now". But I always turn to Hooch, the big bag of seeds and in 30 minutes the wave passes.

Wt - for me I have taken up a few projects. Of course #1 is losing the weight so have been exercising more, even the little stuff as just got one of those bicycle pedals that people use for rehab. I think it works well when I am not on a chair with wheels. #2 is I find myself reading more often, just picking up a new book or my new kindle fire to enjoy. And #3 my big project for the next couple of months is putting all of the audio cassettes that the wife and I have onto CD's. Mainly to save the space here but wow I never remembered how much good stuff I had....

I guess what I am saying is try to pick something like a new hobby that you like to do in order to fill that void.

And am glad and honored to stand beside you in this day to day fight.

I know what you are feeling Wt. That crap used to be such a big part of our lives. For me, it was almost like I couldn't function without it. I know that I am still discovering new strengths everyday though. I think that will never stop. It is truly amazing to realize how strong we really are.

Concerning the hole you see in your life now, I feel that too sometimes. What I try to do is, and I say try, because I still have trouble keeping motivated, is to just try new things and make each day count. There are all sorts of new things that I think I would have never experienced had I still been using chewing tobacco. Really, that stuff was holding us back. I say we fill that hole in our lives with new experiences each. Make these days count, because we never get them back. Keep up the badass quitting and sorry for the rant.

Wt57, You're now a different person without the nic. You can now dive deeper into what you're already doing: family, job, friends, voluteering, whatever floats your boat. Without nic, we are more alive, more in tune with reality. Fill the hole with "more" of who you really are. If the hole is too big, then fill it with daily unselfish acts.
Cheers brother! 'bang head'

[Tsmith17]

Seasoned quitters I have a question.  I haven't had a crave in many weeks.  I have had some minor ups and downs (funks).  Haven't really thought about long term quitting, pretty much I've accepted the fact that I'm in this for the long term of quitting 1 day at a time.  Now my dilemma:  I feel a loss.  That portion of my life that ruled for 40 years is gone and has left a huge hole in my life.  How do we replace that loss?  I've had problems with other vises and am very frightened that one of the other less savory activities may replace my nicotine use if I'm not very cautious.  I would guess that this is not unusual but I haven't seen a lot about it.  Sure we have seen many of us that after making progress on nicotine find we have other issues we have a desire to quit or cut back on.  I feel like a little boy that lost his security blanket and can't seem to replace it.  (It feels like I had that blanket till high school and I'm too old to trade it for a tricycle). I suspect that this loss and failure to fill it is the cause of many caves.  Damn it seems hard to teach an old dog new tricks!

Don't worry you'll still get craves too 'bang head'

I've been craving like a mofo for the past week. No idea why, it just came on suddenly. Good thing I still have some hooch around, been chewing that again.

I filled my void with extra crappy food and now I have to diet again. It's going well, I'm down 6 pounds in the past 2 weeks. Slow and steady wins the race.

Have to agree with Kubrick. I am following the both of you and every once in ahwile I get that wave of asking myself "What that F*ck as I could go for one right now". But I always turn to Hooch, the big bag of seeds and in 30 minutes the wave passes.

Wt - for me I have taken up a few projects. Of course #1 is losing the weight so have been exercising more, even the little stuff as just got one of those bicycle pedals that people use for rehab. I think it works well when I am not on a chair with wheels. #2 is I find myself reading more often, just picking up a new book or my new kindle fire to enjoy. And #3 my big project for the next couple of months is putting all of the audio cassettes that the wife and I have onto CD's. Mainly to save the space here but wow I never remembered how much good stuff I had....

I guess what I am saying is try to pick something like a new hobby that you like to do in order to fill that void.

And am glad and honored to stand beside you in this day to day fight.

I know what you are feeling Wt. That crap used to be such a big part of our lives. For me, it was almost like I couldn't function without it. I know that I am still discovering new strengths everyday though. I think that will never stop. It is truly amazing to realize how strong we really are.

Concerning the hole you see in your life now, I feel that too sometimes. What I try to do is, and I say try, because I still have trouble keeping motivated, is to just try new things and make each day count. There are all sorts of new things that I think I would have never experienced had I still been using chewing tobacco. Really, that stuff was holding us back. I say we fill that hole in our lives with new experiences each. Make these days count, because we never get them back. Keep up the badass quitting and sorry for the rant.

[SirDerek]

Seasoned quitters I have a question.  I haven't had a crave in many weeks.  I have had some minor ups and downs (funks).  Haven't really thought about long term quitting, pretty much I've accepted the fact that I'm in this for the long term of quitting 1 day at a time.  Now my dilemma:  I feel a loss.  That portion of my life that ruled for 40 years is gone and has left a huge hole in my life.  How do we replace that loss?  I've had problems with other vises and am very frightened that one of the other less savory activities may replace my nicotine use if I'm not very cautious.  I would guess that this is not unusual but I haven't seen a lot about it.  Sure we have seen many of us that after making progress on nicotine find we have other issues we have a desire to quit or cut back on.  I feel like a little boy that lost his security blanket and can't seem to replace it.  (It feels like I had that blanket till high school and I'm too old to trade it for a tricycle). I suspect that this loss and failure to fill it is the cause of many caves.  Damn it seems hard to teach an old dog new tricks!

Don't worry you'll still get craves too 'bang head'

I've been craving like a mofo for the past week. No idea why, it just came on suddenly. Good thing I still have some hooch around, been chewing that again.

I filled my void with extra crappy food and now I have to diet again. It's going well, I'm down 6 pounds in the past 2 weeks. Slow and steady wins the race.

Have to agree with Kubrick. I am following the both of you and every once in ahwile I get that wave of asking myself "What that F*ck as I could go for one right now". But I always turn to Hooch, the big bag of seeds and in 30 minutes the wave passes.

Wt - for me I have taken up a few projects. Of course #1 is losing the weight so have been exercising more, even the little stuff as just got one of those bicycle pedals that people use for rehab. I think it works well when I am not on a chair with wheels. #2 is I find myself reading more often, just picking up a new book or my new kindle fire to enjoy. And #3 my big project for the next couple of months is putting all of the audio cassettes that the wife and I have onto CD's. Mainly to save the space here but wow I never remembered how much good stuff I had....

I guess what I am saying is try to pick something like a new hobby that you like to do in order to fill that void.

And am glad and honored to stand beside you in this day to day fight.

[Kubrick]

Seasoned quitters I have a question. I haven't had a crave in many weeks. I have had some minor ups and downs (funks). Haven't really thought about long term quitting, pretty much I've accepted the fact that I'm in this for the long term of quitting 1 day at a time. Now my dilemma: I feel a loss. That portion of my life that ruled for 40 years is gone and has left a huge hole in my life. How do we replace that loss? I've had problems with other vises and am very frightened that one of the other less savory activities may replace my nicotine use if I'm not very cautious. I would guess that this is not unusual but I haven't seen a lot about it. Sure we have seen many of us that after making progress on nicotine find we have other issues we have a desire to quit or cut back on. I feel like a little boy that lost his security blanket and can't seem to replace it. (It feels like I had that blanket till high school and I'm too old to trade it for a tricycle). I suspect that this loss and failure to fill it is the cause of many caves. Damn it seems hard to teach an old dog new tricks!

Don't worry you'll still get craves too 'bang head'

I've been craving like a mofo for the past week. No idea why, it just came on suddenly. Good thing I still have some hooch around, been chewing that again.

I filled my void with extra crappy food and now I have to diet again. It's going well, I'm down 6 pounds in the past 2 weeks. Slow and steady wins the race.

[Tazbutane]

Seasoned quitters I have a question.  I haven't had a crave in many weeks.  I have had some minor ups and downs (funks).  Haven't really thought about long term quitting, pretty much I've accepted the fact that I'm in this for the long term of quitting 1 day at a time.  Now my dilemma:  I feel a loss.  That portion of my life that ruled for 40 years is gone and has left a huge hole in my life.  How do we replace that loss?  I've had problems with other vises and am very frightened that one of the other less savory activities may replace my nicotine use if I'm not very cautious.  I would guess that this is not unusual but I haven't seen a lot about it.  Sure we have seen many of us that after making progress on nicotine find we have other issues we have a desire to quit or cut back on.  I feel like a little boy that lost his security blanket and can't seem to replace it.  (It feels like I had that blanket till high school and I'm too old to trade it for a tricycle). I suspect that this loss and failure to fill it is the cause of many caves.  Damn it seems hard to teach an old dog new tricks!

Hey Wade, I know you're WAY further down this road than I am...but, I wanted to let you know that I know exactly what you're talking about with the HUGE hole left by nicotine. I share the same feelings with that and fears of what other vice may try to work its way into the open slot. I wish I had some magical advice to offer you that would help you fill that hole. But, sadly I don't. It's surprising...and incredibly sad...to me how big a part of my life that bullshit was. I really, at times, feel like a close friend has died.

I think cdaniels hit the nail on the head, Wade. You were one of the first people on here to reach out to me with support. Your encouragement that first week or two made a huge difference in my quit and you are one of the main people I would hate to disappoint if I caved now. Being the quiet and introverted person that you are ( 'no' ), you maybe don't see the difference you've made around here or the number of people's quits you've strengthened...but you are, without a doubt, one of the major players here. Maybe that is what you're filling the hole with...? Thanks again for everything and drop me a line if you want to talk. Take care Buddy!

So no vets have responded yet, but I would like to offer my thoughts on this also. Like the others have mentioned, this site and the help you provide others is a great void filler.

You are correct about being cautious of other 'vices'. As addicts we are all susceptible to other addictions. Everything in moderation is something most addicts have trouble with. The trick is to find a good addiction. Reading, writing, exercise, meditation, wood working, charity work, there are plenty of choices, and with the money you are saving not killing yourself with nicotine you should have a little cash to start something new.

[Willy_MN]

Seasoned quitters I have a question.  I haven't had a crave in many weeks.  I have had some minor ups and downs (funks).  Haven't really thought about long term quitting, pretty much I've accepted the fact that I'm in this for the long term of quitting 1 day at a time.  Now my dilemma:  I feel a loss.  That portion of my life that ruled for 40 years is gone and has left a huge hole in my life.  How do we replace that loss?  I've had problems with other vises and am very frightened that one of the other less savory activities may replace my nicotine use if I'm not very cautious.  I would guess that this is not unusual but I haven't seen a lot about it.  Sure we have seen many of us that after making progress on nicotine find we have other issues we have a desire to quit or cut back on.  I feel like a little boy that lost his security blanket and can't seem to replace it.  (It feels like I had that blanket till high school and I'm too old to trade it for a tricycle). I suspect that this loss and failure to fill it is the cause of many caves.  Damn it seems hard to teach an old dog new tricks!

Hey Wade, I know you're WAY further down this road than I am...but, I wanted to let you know that I know exactly what you're talking about with the HUGE hole left by nicotine. I share the same feelings with that and fears of what other vice may try to work its way into the open slot. I wish I had some magical advice to offer you that would help you fill that hole. But, sadly I don't. It's surprising...and incredibly sad...to me how big a part of my life that bullshit was. I really, at times, feel like a close friend has died.

I think cdaniels hit the nail on the head, Wade. You were one of the first people on here to reach out to me with support. Your encouragement that first week or two made a huge difference in my quit and you are one of the main people I would hate to disappoint if I caved now. Being the quiet and introverted person that you are ( 'no' ), you maybe don't see the difference you've made around here or the number of people's quits you've strengthened...but you are, without a doubt, one of the major players here. Maybe that is what you're filling the hole with...? Thanks again for everything and drop me a line if you want to talk. Take care Buddy!

[cdaniels]

I know I am not a VET but here is my two cents. WT i know that you are one fine quitter on here I have seen where you have helped lots of people. I think you have in a sence filled that hole with helping others in their quits on here. You may not see that right now but if you take a breath and step back and look you will see. Thank you for your strong quit brother.

[Grizzly25]

Seasoned quitters I have a question. I haven't had a crave in many weeks. I have had some minor ups and downs (funks). Haven't really thought about long term quitting, pretty much I've accepted the fact that I'm in this for the long term of quitting 1 day at a time. Now my dilemma: I feel a loss. That portion of my life that ruled for 40 years is gone and has left a huge hole in my life. How do we replace that loss? I've had problems with other vises and am very frightened that one of the other less savory activities may replace my nicotine use if I'm not very cautious. I would guess that this is not unusual but I haven't seen a lot about it. Sure we have seen many of us that after making progress on nicotine find we have other issues we have a desire to quit or cut back on. I feel like a little boy that lost his security blanket and can't seem to replace it. (It feels like I had that blanket till high school and I'm too old to trade it for a tricycle). I suspect that this loss and failure to fill it is the cause of many caves. Damn it seems hard to teach an old dog new tricks!

I hear ya and have had similiar issues, my best way to deal with the void is to get fully vested into all of my kids activities. This has been quite a good way to not get into bad habits or let caves mess with my head, I also have become a bit more of a planner as far as planning on vacation  planning on getting back into fishing this spring a lot more!

Stay strong brother and you got this!

Grizzly25...out

[Wt57]

Seasoned quitters I have a question. I haven't had a crave in many weeks. I have had some minor ups and downs (funks). Haven't really thought about long term quitting, pretty much I've accepted the fact that I'm in this for the long term of quitting 1 day at a time. Now my dilemma: I feel a loss. That portion of my life that ruled for 40 years is gone and has left a huge hole in my life. How do we replace that loss? I've had problems with other vises and am very frightened that one of the other less savory activities may replace my nicotine use if I'm not very cautious. I would guess that this is not unusual but I haven't seen a lot about it. Sure we have seen many of us that after making progress on nicotine find we have other issues we have a desire to quit or cut back on. I feel like a little boy that lost his security blanket and can't seem to replace it. (It feels like I had that blanket till high school and I'm too old to trade it for a tricycle). I suspect that this loss and failure to fill it is the cause of many caves. Damn it seems hard to teach an old dog new tricks!

[redtrain14]

Quiet and introverted....that's funny right there.

'crackup'

Good stuff WT, congrats on 300.

[Bruce]

Comrades, I am so humbled this night to be counted as a quitter with each of you. 300 nights ago I sat on the floor by the toilet and cried as I dumped my last 3 cans of Copenhagen into the bowl and flushed it. The next morning I woke up and wrote this:

This is probably the most I will ever have to say, believe it or not I'm a really quiet guy, kind of Introverted.

'crackup' I haven't shut up since!

Every morning, usually very early I have joined my Brothers of Quit in making a promise to stay nicotine free. Every night, I've shown back up to check on my friends. Along this journey we have lost a number of quitters that started strong and caved to the deceit of the false promises of nicotine addiction. Some of these addicts are still among my friends and I still text them from time to time to be there when their strength grows. None of us can stand to watch a cave but I hope I've always separated the cave from the caver because I've been that weak assed addict for going on 40 years.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven..
My season to quit took many years to arrive. That night 302 days ago that I was lead to KTC, I knew it was my time. It took me 2 nights to cave to the pressure of overwhelming feeling of that time to quit had arrived. 'qt'

This past month has been a very interesting part of my quit, with numerous lessons and feelings. I had a fellow addict that i had quit with daily for 250 days made a conscious decision to cave. I was deeply hurt, I took it personal for awhile. I realize I control 1 quit, mine!

One post that hit me was by Mthomas, on Shame of an addict.. I still haven't fully absorbed this concept but recognize it so well.

The another epic post Oral Surgeon Visit Today, By CDaniels that reminds us all of the blessings we have and the vulnerabilities we have.

Now I take that step onto the third floor with humility and pride. I recognize each milestone I've reached couldn't have happened without so many of you. I also remember the terrible pain I've suffered in quitting. The detox and withdrawal was definitely painful and sucked but that pain was minimal when compared to letting go of some of the life experiences that l hid from in my addiction. Even the past 3 days I've recognized another element of my life that has been and is holding me back. So many of us have found we had to change aspects of our lives we never associated with our addiction. My most recent discovery is the most painful yet and I'm not sure I'm ready to face it but I will continue to quit everyday and eventually I can work on accepting other changes.

Thanks to everyone and again today I quit with each and everyone of you that are committing to quit today.

Wade- congrats brother on the third floor, keep blazing that trail one day at a time. Hold off on the oral for awhile and you have it watch those male prostitutes in Vegas bro, they're not as clean as the ones at home.

[Mthomas3824]

Just popping in to say congrats, love you like a brother, and hope I get to shake your hand sometime soon.

What's up Wedge??!!!! Hope all is well with you and your family. Thanks again for bringing me back to this site. You have no clue how much I appreciate it. Hell you might have saved my life.

Next time you're having a rough day just think..."Son of a bitch, I may have saved some dude named Diesel' life." Might not make your day better, but certainly couldn't make it any worse.

Oh, and if you do get to shake WT's hand...wear a glove. LOL!!!

Take care and stay quit.

Standing O Diesel.

Supporters reading this should think this. I hope all of us know that we have brothers that helped us and that we helped.

If you don't think so, get involved more. In battles and bonding times with brothers, I have become a better quitter and a better man.

Those that punch me in the mouth, those that picked me up when I was down, those that opened my eyes when I was blind to my actions....

THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY LIFE. My marriage, my responsibilities, my faith in goodness.

You all impacted and still impact me. Learning how to quit is just a model for improving many facets of my life and how to live better.

[Diesel2112]

Just popping in to say congrats, love you like a brother, and hope I get to shake your hand sometime soon.

What's up Wedge??!!!! Hope all is well with you and your family. Thanks again for bringing me back to this site. You have no clue how much I appreciate it. Hell you might have saved my life.

Next time you're having a rough day just think..."Son of a bitch, I may have saved some dude named Diesel' life." Might not make your day better, but certainly couldn't make it any worse.

Oh, and if you do get to shake WT's hand...wear a glove. LOL!!!

Take care and stay quit.

[Wedge]

Just popping in to say congrats, love you like a brother, and hope I get to shake your hand sometime soon.