Author Topic: My good cave  (Read 36723 times)

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Offline Loppy

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Re: My good cave
« Reply #24 on: April 10, 2012, 06:20:00 PM »
WT, you were one of the first guys to hit me up. I wont forget that. And if I think about cave'n, I think about letting you down. What you're doing IS working. Its a sad fact of life, and in almost everything humans do that is self destructive... remember, you cant save them all. Not fair to yourself to blow yourself up for that. That's in our DNA, its primal.

I for one, thank you and try and pay it forward by jumping on other guys that come in (that sounded pretty ghey didn't it?) 'Crazy' 'na na'
Those who forge their swords into plows, will plow for those who do not. Moan Labe

QUIT DATE: 4/4/12

Offline SWJ

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Re: My good cave
« Reply #23 on: April 10, 2012, 03:16:00 PM »
Quote from: Wt57
Ive got a question for a vet, preferably one that is older. 
I am very strongly committed to my quit, I will be here every morning and promise myself, you other addicts and also I promise my wife of 32 years no more lies.  My delima is that I look at other quitter especialllly new ones, and especially if they are younger,  I try to get to know right away.  I want to just shake the shit out of them and show them what that shit has done to my life and strengthen their committment.  Now the true problem a couple times Ive done this and granted its only 10 days, but they have caved and I feel in some way that I have failed.  I know I didnt put that shit in their mouth but I wonder if I could have done more.  I almost feel the need to help some them to make up for my past failures, almost like a parent living the life they wish they had had through their children.  I know that my mane concern is my own quit but it just keeps eating at me.  Well so much for my rambling. Ill take any advise or suggestions.
Here are a couple of thoughts from a dude who caved....

First, there was nothing you could have done to stop me from caving when I did.

Guys tried - They texted and called and left messages and shit.

But I ignored them and caved.

Get your head around this, bro...

Your help is strong and alive, but it's here.

We all make it clear that the help lives here.

You're willing to give it but dudes have to show up and take it for it to work.

Own this - There's only so much you can do.

Thank you for keeping your help alive and working, bro.

Somebody's going to need it, but they're going to have to reach for it, at least halfway.
Quit Date: 03/13/12
"I am the punishment of God...If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you."
- Genghis Khan

Offline Wt57

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Re: My good cave
« Reply #22 on: April 10, 2012, 02:48:00 PM »
Ive got a question for a vet, preferably one that is older.
I am very strongly committed to my quit, I will be here every morning and promise myself, you other addicts and also I promise my wife of 32 years no more lies. My delima is that I look at other quitter especialllly new ones, and especially if they are younger, I try to get to know right away. I want to just shake the shit out of them and show them what that shit has done to my life and strengthen their committment. Now the true problem a couple times Ive done this and granted its only 10 days, but they have caved and I feel in some way that I have failed. I know I didnt put that shit in their mouth but I wonder if I could have done more. I almost feel the need to help some them to make up for my past failures, almost like a parent living the life they wish they had had through their children. I know that my mane concern is my own quit but it just keeps eating at me. Well so much for my rambling. Ill take any advise or suggestions.
4/1/2012: Nicotine Quit Date
7/9/12: HOF The Missing Warning Label
TODAY is the day that counts
"Do, or do not, there is no try." Yoda

Offline Wt57

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Re: My good cave
« Reply #21 on: April 08, 2012, 10:32:00 AM »
I love this poem and feel the fork in the road can represent our decision to quit, we are at that fork every morning when we face each other at roll call. Stay on the right path, stay quit.


The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
4/1/2012: Nicotine Quit Date
7/9/12: HOF The Missing Warning Label
TODAY is the day that counts
"Do, or do not, there is no try." Yoda

Offline Scowick65

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Re: My good cave
« Reply #20 on: April 07, 2012, 10:16:00 PM »
Quote from: Wt57
I'm ok today but I do need to vent and just blow off some shit from my mind! Yesterday sucked but I slept good last night for a change. This morning I felt really good and stronger than I had been yesterday. Then out of no where I got hit by a big fucking crave, lasted of and on for half hour or so. My wife and I went to a wedding right after that and I swear every guy there had a big chew in their lip, bam another big crave. Got the hell out of there in a hurry. Later in the day my son in law and I had to deliver a truck to town, stopped by a convenence store to get a pop and I didn't even think about a chew till I opened my wallet to pay, tucked down in the corner of my wallet was a old dried up cope pouch I had hid for emergency when I got that damn colonoscopy. I closed that damn wallet up and all the way home I kept craving that shit. When I got home I grabbed my wife and showed her what I found and said get rid of it. I didn't even want to touch the shit!! I also trimmed my long shaggy mustache that I've had for years to help conceal my chew. She asked why I was trimming it and I told her I didn't need it any more, she had no idea I kept it for that reason. Well Im looking forward to tomorrow just relax and flip tabacco off one more day.
1 day at a time. Trust me, it gets easier and it is worth it. Great job staying clean!

Offline Wt57

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Re: My good cave
« Reply #19 on: April 07, 2012, 09:40:00 PM »
screw up
4/1/2012: Nicotine Quit Date
7/9/12: HOF The Missing Warning Label
TODAY is the day that counts
"Do, or do not, there is no try." Yoda

Offline Wt57

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Re: My good cave
« Reply #18 on: April 07, 2012, 09:38:00 PM »
I'm ok today but I do need to vent and just blow off some shit from my mind! Yesterday sucked but I slept good last night for a change. This morning I felt really good and stronger than I had been yesterday. Then out of no where I got hit by a big fucking crave, lasted of and on for half hour or so. My wife and I went to a wedding right after that and I swear every guy there had a big chew in their lip, bam another big crave. Got the hell out of there in a hurry. Later in the day my son in law and I had to deliver a truck to town, stopped by a convenence store to get a pop and I didn't even think about a chew till I opened my wallet to pay, tucked down in the corner of my wallet was a old dried up cope pouch I had hid for emergency when I got that damn colonoscopy. I closed that damn wallet up and all the way home I kept craving that shit. When I got home I grabbed my wife and showed her what I found and said get rid of it. I didn't even want to touch the shit!! I also trimmed my long shaggy mustache that I've had for years to help conceal my chew. She asked why I was trimming it and I told her I didn't need it any more, she had no idea I kept it for that reason. Well Im looking forward to tomorrow just relax and flip tabacco off one more day.
4/1/2012: Nicotine Quit Date
7/9/12: HOF The Missing Warning Label
TODAY is the day that counts
"Do, or do not, there is no try." Yoda

Offline grizzdipper18

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Re: My good cave
« Reply #17 on: April 06, 2012, 07:19:00 PM »
hey man thank you too. our talks on the phone have woken me up as well and im really happy that we can help eachother out. im glad i have you because i need a father figure that can help me stay quit. my dad gets so stressed with work that for some time he said to just use dip a little while im young. i dont think my dad understands that i can never have dip again if im gonna be free.
wt57 your the quit father that ive never had before and the advice you give me helps give me the drive to stay quit!

Offline Wt57

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Re: My good cave
« Reply #16 on: April 06, 2012, 02:57:00 AM »
Fellow July Quiters
I owe you an apology


No I didn't cave I have been thinking all day that over the past 5 days I have been feeling sorry for myself and envious of some of you. I have been feeling that you are lucky because have quit so much younger than me. that you won't miss out on alot of the things that I have because I let the bitch control my life for so long. Then the past 2 nights I have talked to one of our younger quiters and I finally realized that we are all the same we are here for one reason and that is that we are addicted to nicotine!!!! Thanks bro for waking me up even though you didn't know the impact you were having on this old man. It is easy to look back and feel sorry for myself but I'm the one that kept pokeing that shit in my mouth. The past is water under the bridge and I'm going to be looking upstream from now on. If any of you catch me whinning about my age or the time ive been addicted I expect you to pour holy hell down on me, and I know that a bunch of frickin addicts can be good at that. That doesn't mean that from time to time I might give some fatherly advise to some of you young punks!!
4/1/2012: Nicotine Quit Date
7/9/12: HOF The Missing Warning Label
TODAY is the day that counts
"Do, or do not, there is no try." Yoda

Offline Wt57

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Re: My good cave
« Reply #15 on: April 05, 2012, 10:47:00 PM »
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: Wt57
Its been about18 hr into my quit and I wake up and wonder what I did last night I cave into KTC.
Im a jerk.  54 yr old grandpa been a slave to the bitch for 38 yr.  thats right 38 years.  I have had a couple pauses for 2-3 yr dozen of other for 2-3 weeks but never quit.  Well that changed today I quit or I'll die!!  I've thought about today for the past few months and planned for it for a couple weeks been trying to get some sever depression under control.  Came across KTC while planning and sounds like I'm in.  I've caved so many times that I've been afraid of failing again, rather than caving back to slow suicide I'll probably just find a faster way.   This isn't a try or attempt.  it is my quit!!!  I had a quit day planned out but it is too far away so I'm moving it up, not putting it off any more  because I'm ready NOW!!!  I ve been a slave for longer than some of you have been alive but we are all the same a bunch of stupid jerks controlled by the NIC bitch.  I know what the next few weeks are going to be like, I've been there we need too help each other.  If I can do it so can you!  This is probably the most I will ever have to say, believe it or not I'm a really quiet guy, kind of Introverted.  Also typing on my Itouch with big dippin fingers and old man eyes.  See you at roll call everyday Im ready. 
I wanted to add something to this intro.  I mentioned that I had a quit day planned but moved it up.  Well my day was April 11 our 32nd wedding anniversary, I was going tell her I was doing it for us.  Well starting my quit 11 days early is just that much better it is still for us.

more thoughts on my addiction!

I've been thinking of some really stupid things my addiction made me do.  Couple weeks ago I had a colonoscopy ( remember I'm OLD, see what you have to look forward too.) 2 days before the hose job nothing but clear liquid, and always gutted my cope.  Couldn't go 2 days so I got cope pouches.  Swallowed that shit along with the gallon of radiator flush.  Only went without my "friend" for about 3 hrs.  Through all of this I was worried about spots in my gut that probably trapped tabacoo, fear of cancer everywhere, but still kept on stuffing that shit in my face.  Luck gut was clean as a whistle.  That flush and chew only takes about 5 min to make it from mouth to ass.  'arse'
Damn You're lucky! I had my colon rotor rooter job a couple of years ago and they had to remove a bunch of pollops. I did that crap or smoked cigs about as long as you did. I am over 3 years quit and feel like a new person after coming out from the umbrella of the nic bitch. Quitting is the BEST decision you will ever make!!!! Welcome to the site from one old fart to another!!! :P PM me if I can help in any way!!!
So they make ya come back in 5 for another? My wife is drinking the flush tonight gotta stand back! Looking at your profile you shouldn't worry your old enough you got both feet in the grave I only got 1 in and started pulling it out 5 days ago. Jokeing around make one forget the pain.
4/1/2012: Nicotine Quit Date
7/9/12: HOF The Missing Warning Label
TODAY is the day that counts
"Do, or do not, there is no try." Yoda

Offline Kdip

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Re: My good cave
« Reply #14 on: April 05, 2012, 10:26:00 PM »
Quote from: Wt57
Its been about18 hr into my quit and I wake up and wonder what I did last night I cave into KTC.
Im a jerk.  54 yr old grandpa been a slave to the bitch for 38 yr.  thats right 38 years.  I have had a couple pauses for 2-3 yr dozen of other for 2-3 weeks but never quit.  Well that changed today I quit or I'll die!!  I've thought about today for the past few months and planned for it for a couple weeks been trying to get some sever depression under control. Came across KTC while planning and sounds like I'm in.  I've caved so many times that I've been afraid of failing again, rather than caving back to slow suicide I'll probably just find a faster way.   This isn't a try or attempt.  it is my quit!!!  I had a quit day planned out but it is too far away so I'm moving it up, not putting it off any more  because I'm ready NOW!!!  I ve been a slave for longer than some of you have been alive but we are all the same a bunch of stupid jerks controlled by the NIC bitch.  I know what the next few weeks are going to be like, I've been there we need too help each other.  If I can do it so can you!  This is probably the most I will ever have to say, believe it or not I'm a really quiet guy, kind of Introverted.  Also typing on my Itouch with big dippin fingers and old man eyes.  See you at roll call everyday Im ready.
I wanted to add something to this intro. I mentioned that I had a quit day planned but moved it up. Well my day was April 11 our 32nd wedding anniversary, I was going tell her I was doing it for us. Well starting my quit 11 days early is just that much better it is still for us.

more thoughts on my addiction!

I've been thinking of some really stupid things my addiction made me do. Couple weeks ago I had a colonoscopy ( remember I'm OLD, see what you have to look forward too.) 2 days before the hose job nothing but clear liquid, and always gutted my cope. Couldn't go 2 days so I got cope pouches. Swallowed that shit along with the gallon of radiator flush. Only went without my "friend" for about 3 hrs. Through all of this I was worried about spots in my gut that probably trapped tabacoo, fear of cancer everywhere, but still kept on stuffing that shit in my face. Luck gut was clean as a whistle. That flush and chew only takes about 5 min to make it from mouth to ass. 'arse'
Damn You're lucky! I had my colon rotor rooter job a couple of years ago and they had to remove a bunch of pollops. I did that crap or smoked cigs about as long as you did. I am over 3 years quit and feel like a new person after coming out from the umbrella of the nic bitch. Quitting is the BEST decision you will ever make!!!! Welcome to the site from one old fart to another!!! :P PM me if I can help in any way!!!

Offline Wt57

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Re: My good cave
« Reply #13 on: April 05, 2012, 03:26:00 AM »
Its been about18 hr into my quit and I wake up and wonder what I did last night I cave into KTC.
Im a jerk.  54 yr old grandpa been a slave to the bitch for 38 yr.  thats right 38 years.  I have had a couple pauses for 2-3 yr dozen of other for 2-3 weeks but never quit.  Well that changed today I quit or I'll die!!  I've thought about today for the past few months and planned for it for a couple weeks been trying to get some sever depression under control. Came across KTC while planning and sounds like I'm in.  I've caved so many times that I've been afraid of failing again, rather than caving back to slow suicide I'll probably just find a faster way.   This isn't a try or attempt.  it is my quit!!!  I had a quit day planned out but it is too far away so I'm moving it up, not putting it off any more  because I'm ready NOW!!!  I ve been a slave for longer than some of you have been alive but we are all the same a bunch of stupid jerks controlled by the NIC bitch.  I know what the next few weeks are going to be like, I've been there we need too help each other.  If I can do it so can you!  This is probably the most I will ever have to say, believe it or not I'm a really quiet guy, kind of Introverted.  Also typing on my Itouch with big dippin fingers and old man eyes.  See you at roll call everyday Im ready.
I wanted to add something to this intro. I mentioned that I had a quit day planned but moved it up. Well my day was April 11 our 32nd wedding anniversary, I was going tell her I was doing it for us. Well starting my quit 11 days early is just that much better it is still for us.

more thoughts on my addiction!

I've been thinking of some really stupid things my addiction made me do. Couple weeks ago I had a colonoscopy ( remember I'm OLD, see what you have to look forward too.) 2 days before the hose job nothing but clear liquid, and always gutted my cope. Couldn't go 2 days so I got cope pouches. Swallowed that shit along with the gallon of radiator flush. Only went without my "friend" for about 3 hrs. Through all of this I was worried about spots in my gut that probably trapped tabacoo, fear of cancer everywhere, but still kept on stuffing that shit in my face. Luck gut was clean as a whistle. That flush and chew only takes about 5 min to make it from mouth to ass. 'arse'
4/1/2012: Nicotine Quit Date
7/9/12: HOF The Missing Warning Label
TODAY is the day that counts
"Do, or do not, there is no try." Yoda

Offline T-Cell

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Re: My good cave
« Reply #12 on: April 03, 2012, 01:34:00 PM »
Quote from: Wt57
Its been about18 hr into my quit and I wake up and wonder what I did last night I cave into KTC.
Im a jerk.  54 yr old grandpa been a slave to the bitch for 38 yr.  thats right 38 years.  I have had a couple pauses for 2-3 yr dozen of other for 2-3 weeks but never quit.  Well that changed today I quit or I'll die!!  I've thought about today for the past few months and planned for it for a couple weeks been trying to get some sever depression under control. Came across KTC while planning and sounds like I'm in.  I've caved so many times that I've been afraid of failing again, rather than caving back to slow suicide I'll probably just find a faster way.   This isn't a try or attempt.  it is my quit!!!  I had a quit day planned out but it is too far away so I'm moving it up, not putting it off any more  because I'm ready NOW!!!  I ve been a slave for longer than some of you have been alive but we are all the same a bunch of stupid jerks controlled by the NIC bitch.  I know what the next few weeks are going to be like, I've been there we need too help each other.  If I can do it so can you!  This is probably the most I will ever have to say, believe it or not I'm a really quiet guy, kind of Introverted.  Also typing on my Itouch with big dippin fingers and old man eyes.  See you at roll call everyday Im ready.
I wanted to add something to this intro. I mentioned that I had a quit day planned but moved it up. Well my day was April 11 our 32nd wedding anniversary, I was going tell her I was doing it for us. Well starting my quit 11 days early is just that much better it is still for us.
WT-
You can do this. This site and members will help. I'm 51, chewed cope since I was 13. Quit 54 days ago now.
I'm thinking clear, cravings get less and less.
Take it one day quit at a time. Quit for yourself first, and if you need to rant or rave do it here rather than at your loved ones. We know exactly what you are going through.
Give me a shout if you want my numbers.
Welcome to your freedom...
Fish, eat, sleep. Repeat.
quit date 2/10/12
HOF date 5/19/12
1 Year 2/10/13
2 Years 2/10/14
8th Floor 4/19/14

Offline rgross298

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Re: My good cave
« Reply #11 on: April 03, 2012, 08:39:00 AM »
NO more. You have this, this is it. Nice move on quitting early.

Offline G

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Re: My good cave
« Reply #10 on: April 02, 2012, 10:07:00 PM »
Welcome. You came to the right place. Yell if you need anything.