Day one

[olcpo]

Day 7 Dreamed about chew last night, trouble going back to sleep. Glad it was only a dream. Headed into the big city today, dreading the icy roads and traffic. I would rather stay under my rock up here on the mountain side. Life goes on in spite of us. Grateful for another day. Grace. Looking for the good in all things, seems a little foggy at the moment. Endeavor to persevere. Got to get moving. olcpo-out

So went to the big city 60 miles of freeway to a town of 80k from a town of 800. Might as well be nyc or some other big city, all of the traffic crap and jerks. Going into town 4 lane bumper to bumper, icy, sitting through two lights to get through an intersection and some clown cuts me off, slam on the breaks, I am ready for battle. Wound tight, horn honkin' bird flyin', hit the gas ride his ass. Red hot steaming, on fire (I think they call it rage). He turns off, wife mentions we are late for her appointment...Woke up outta my trance...where did that come from? Wife a little bug eyed. I was in it before I knew it, wife says something about how its been 30 years since she has seen me act like that...An hour later, sitting in walmart parking lot reading a book, car pulls in next to me, WHAM, sob opens his door and hits my truck hard enough to rock it. Here we go again, book flies across the cab, I'm yelling, he's apologizing back-pedaling, "I've gotta bad hip..." I'm all over that, "I've gotta bad knee does that give me the right to kick the shit out of your car door?" Young kid gets out of driver side, "ain't his car" that snapped me out of it. My hands go up "I'm Sorry" Feeling foolish get back in the truck and read book. Must have got it outta my system, the rest of the day went well.

Not happy at all with my performance. First trip to the big city without my drugs in my lip, what a ride. Feel like I have to learn all over again after crawling out of the stupor of nicotine. I hope the mellow/civility returns soon, before I justifiably get my ass kicked for being a jerk. I do not like this waking up in a rage stuff. I have yet to pick up a cue that its coming on. I will pay attention as tomorrow I have to go back in for my dr. stuff. We will see if the old fool can be taught. Any suggestions from the vets of this war?

[Keith0617]

Day 7 Dreamed about chew last night, trouble going back to sleep. Glad it was only a dream. Headed into the big city today, dreading the icy roads and traffic. I would rather stay under my rock up here on the mountain side. Life goes on in spite of us. Grateful for another day. Grace. Looking for the good in all things, seems a little foggy at the moment. Endeavor to persevere. Got to get moving. olcpo-out

Those dreams suck!  But they also make you feel really grateful that you don’t chew or dip that junk anymore once you realize it’s just a dream.  Way to go on one week!

I love that you are documenting your days. I think it will be greatly valuable in the days to come and also if it helps one person it’s worth it, right? Your attitude will inspire! Proud to quit with you!

Keep going what you are DJ ok g and let those days add up. It gets soooo much better. Reach out if I can help.

[ankape]

Day 7 Dreamed about chew last night, trouble going back to sleep. Glad it was only a dream. Headed into the big city today, dreading the icy roads and traffic. I would rather stay under my rock up here on the mountain side. Life goes on in spite of us. Grateful for another day. Grace. Looking for the good in all things, seems a little foggy at the moment. Endeavor to persevere. Got to get moving. olcpo-out

Those dreams suck!  But they also make you feel really grateful that you don’t chew or dip that junk anymore once you realize it’s just a dream.  Way to go on one week!

I love that you are documenting your days. I think it will be greatly valuable in the days to come and also if it helps one person it’s worth it, right? Your attitude will inspire! Proud to quit with you!

[AndyCan]

Day 7 Dreamed about chew last night, trouble going back to sleep. Glad it was only a dream. Headed into the big city today, dreading the icy roads and traffic. I would rather stay under my rock up here on the mountain side. Life goes on in spite of us. Grateful for another day. Grace. Looking for the good in all things, seems a little foggy at the moment. Endeavor to persevere. Got to get moving. olcpo-out

Those dreams suck!  But they also make you feel really grateful that you don’t chew or dip that junk anymore once you realize it’s just a dream.  Way to go on one week!

[olcpo]

Day 7 Dreamed about chew last night, trouble going back to sleep. Glad it was only a dream. Headed into the big city today, dreading the icy roads and traffic. I would rather stay under my rock up here on the mountain side. Life goes on in spite of us. Grateful for another day. Grace. Looking for the good in all things, seems a little foggy at the moment. Endeavor to persevere. Got to get moving. olcpo-out

[olcpo]

Day 6 - So far so good. Headed to church, grateful, feeling God's grace. KTC is a gift from God to help me through this. Know that I appreciate all who have responded, shared, contacted and thank God for all of you on this site. My beliefs, not meant to impose anything on anyone. This group has taught me whatever it takes to stay quit is ok. All of these things are working for me.

[olcpo]

Day 5 - feeling good, woke up way too early (4), too much sitting and eating, today I must move it move it. Your support, knowledge, encouragement, likes are priceless. Thank you.

[olcpo]

Day 4 - Had a good Thanksgiving day. No wrecks. I have found my main trigger is after I get done eating. So yesterday I just never got done eating, no trigger. Today I won't eat and maybe no trigger. It seems when it hits it doesn't last long any way, as you all say one minute at a time, one hour, one day...

[olcpo]

Day 3 Thanksgiving Day  More than usual to be thankful for. No nicotine, tobacco free. Not capable by myself. I feel led to this forum. I knew I needed to quit. I want to work at a christian camp, just be a dishwasher, but they have a no tobacco policy. Other things started popping up that there was nothing good about this stuff, which took the "pleasure" away. Tried quitting by myself then caved...many times, maybe get a day then right back at it. Prayed, still praying, admitted I can't do it, give it to God, found KTC. Read for 2 days before I registered and quit. Blabbing too much, will work on fewer words. Grateful, thankful and I wish you that read this a most blessed Thanksgiving.
Kevin

[olcpo]

Day 2! I feel good this morning. Excited for another day. I never realized how binding this stuff was. "Freedom" has taken on a new meaning. Wake up in the morning, where's my chew?, oh yeah I don't do that anymore, kewl, coffee tastes really good. Not tied to the can anymore, still pat my pocket to see if its there, then remember...
Thanks everyone. It means a lot to sign in to roll call and see all of the support from you guys that are successful, many days over, still there to support the newbies. Something to aspire to, Thanks!
To this point in life, "Quitter" has been a derogatory and negative term. Now I am proud to be a quitter. A great number of changes, all good, go along with this Quit thing. Anxious to see the next realization and wow.
 I know there will be moments ahead that will be real tough, but I do not fear it. Bring it on! Pretty bold, but with all the support here I really am not worried about it.
Grateful, Appreciative, in God's grace.
Olcpo
Kevin

[olcpo]

Day 1 almost done. A few tense moments, the clock ticks and I kept moving.

I want to thank all of you that PM'd me this morning. Fantastic advice, very supportive, open, honest. I kept thinking about the tips and words you shared all day. It helped, Thank you.

I cleaned out ALL of the tobacco I had rat holed in various places, started a fire in the woodstove in my shop and threw it all in. May not sound like much but it was quite the ceremony for me. All kinds of emotions, but very final. a thick spot right in the middle of my forehead, almost a headache, very on edge, having to really not speak without thinking, impulsive. Warned wife of 45 years whats going on so she just hands it right back to me, which I appreciate.

Thanks again, See you in the morning at roll call

[BearNM]

Olcpo,

Great decision to give it up.  Last year, at right about this time, I was contemplating giving up my 30+ year addition with nicotine.  I waited a few more days and ending up quitting on December 4th, which is the best decision I have made.  358 days later I still WUPP (wake up piss post) and post my promise EDD (every damn day).  I joined the site after about 30 days of quitting on my own and without KTC, and the brotherhood that I have made, I seriously doubt I would be where I am at.  Use the site, as there is a lot of great information on here, and do not be afraid to use the support network.  My number is available if you need and I am damn proud to quit with you today. 

[chris2alaska]

Hey olcpo,

Welcome to the best decision of your life.  I dipped for 31 years and was up to 3 cans a day when I decided to quit 678 days ago.  That is the key, "when I decided".  The decision can't be anyone else's.  This is one time when you are allowed to be selfish. 

We quit here One Day At A Time (ODAAT) Every Damn Day (EDD).  You did a great job posting roll today.  Now you just need to repeat that process daily.  Wake Up, Piss, Post (WUPP) is our mantra.  It means as soon as you get up in the morning and do your business, get on the site and post your promise to remain nicotine free for the day. If you only do that, everyday, you will be quit as long as you are a man of your word.

If you want to strengthen your quit, get involved in your group and get involved in other groups.  Also, meeting other quitters in person is a real boost to your quit, it's much harder to break a promise to someone you have actually met in person than it is a stranger behind a user name on the screen.  That is why it is so important to build those bonds of brotherhood.  We do that by exchanging phone numbers with each other and actually using those numbers.  Those numbers also are an instant access to support if you ever need it.  Just phone a brother up.

My number is always available for the asking.  I encourage you to get everyone's phone number that joins the March group and then some of the vets as well.

Proud to quit with you today,

Chris

[olcpo]

Thanks Redneb and andycan, appreciate it

[Redneb]

Fifty plus years of tobacco, some gaps, but have always managed to find my way back to the stuff. Tired. I want to be done. Been weaning off of cope mint pouches for maybe a week. Today is the first day of quit.

Congrats on your decision to quit. Read everything you can, this site can help. If you have any questions don't hesitate to send a PM. You can do this!