Fuck it. been heavily reading all the posts here. Arguing or something of the sort over on my original introduction thread. Fuck all that. Im fucking pissed. Pissed at nicotine. Pissed at my past. Pissed at myself. Everyone is right. Excuses, that's all it fucking is. All it ever was. Im motherfucking sick of being addicted to this shit. And I already dont like the hivemind here, but fuck it, I clearly cant do this shit on my own. And through the midst of all the garbage I dont care for here, I can see the message everyone is trying to get across.
Something thats always always bugged me, is that "people dont care" about your problems. Something dawned on me earlier that you all have tons and tons of people here taking the time to help people actually quit and stay quit. Maybe this KTC shit willa ctually work for me i dont know. I know for fucking sure that im in one terrible pissed off mood right now. I do not want to go cold turkey, I dont want to fucking quit. I just want to keep chewing and chewing and chewing. But I know thats not really me, thats the nicotine talking. Its like a fucking mindjacking alien. Fuck that alien.
I know Im gonna fuck up, stumble, and will probably be the weakest counterpart of whatever group Im in. But god dammit Im at my wits end, and I am humbled by my lack of willpower. So im gonna try the KTC way, cuz I dont know what else to do anymore.