Author Topic: I quit again  (Read 112163 times)

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Offline MN_Engineer

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Re: I quit again
« Reply #685 on: January 08, 2024, 08:43:51 AM »
Day 211
Anxiety frustration anger.
I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,815 ready to grind out another Monday quit.
Quit: 04.25.16 | HOF: 08.02.16 | 2nd FL: 11.10.16 | 3rd FL: 02.18.17 | 4th FL: 05.29.17 | 5th FL: 09.06.17 | 6th FL: 12.15.17 | 7th FL: 03.25.18 |
8th FL: 07.03.18 | 9th FL: 10.11.18 | Comma: 01.19.19 | 11th FL: 04.29.19 | 12th FL: 08.07.19 | 13th FL: 11.15.19 | 14th FL: 02.23.20 |
15th FL: 06.02.20 | 16th FL: 09.10.20 | 17th FL: 12.19.20 | 18th FL: 03.29.21 | 19th FL: 07.07.21 | Comma 2x: 10.15.21 | 21st FL: 01.23.22 |
22nd FL: 05.03.22 | 23rd FL: 08.11.22 | 24th FL: 11.19.22 | 25th FL: 02.27.23 | 26th FL: 06.07.23 | 27th FL: 09.15.23 | 28th FL: 12.24.23 |
29th FL: 04.02.24 | Comma 3x: 07.11.24 | 31st FL: 10.19.24 |

"From Skoal to Skol!" My HOF Speech HERE!
"There is no victory without a battle."
"Cave = losing an argument to a dead plant in a plastic can. You are smarter than a dead plant." - Candoit
"The truth is the truth even if no one believes it, and a lie is a lie, even if everyone believes it." - Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

Feel like throwing in the towel? Sign the "Contract to Give Up" HERE
Phat Pauly - Part 1 || Phat Pauly - Part 2 || DeanTheCoot - Pencil Poop

Offline Dipchit

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Re: I quit again
« Reply #684 on: January 08, 2024, 06:32:30 AM »
Day 211
Anxiety frustration anger.
I promise not to dip today.

Offline Dipchit

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Re: I quit again
« Reply #683 on: January 07, 2024, 06:32:50 PM »
Day 210
Depression has returned today. Not much interest in anything. I’m sure the wave of anxiety is next. It was nice to have one day of low symptoms. I’ll take what I can get. I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,814 with you TODAY
Keith0617 1921 ODAAT
Yep I was right. Back in full withdrawal again. Anxiety depression no interest in life at all. Nice while it lasted I guess.

Offline Keith0617

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Re: I quit again
« Reply #682 on: January 07, 2024, 10:39:16 AM »
Day 210
Depression has returned today. Not much interest in anything. I’m sure the wave of anxiety is next. It was nice to have one day of low symptoms. I’ll take what I can get. I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,814 with you TODAY
Keith0617 1921 ODAAT
Jan19

Offline MN_Engineer

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Re: I quit again
« Reply #681 on: January 07, 2024, 10:37:58 AM »
Day 210
Depression has returned today. Not much interest in anything. I’m sure the wave of anxiety is next. It was nice to have one day of low symptoms. I’ll take what I can get. I promise not to dip today.
MN/2,814 with you TODAY
Quit: 04.25.16 | HOF: 08.02.16 | 2nd FL: 11.10.16 | 3rd FL: 02.18.17 | 4th FL: 05.29.17 | 5th FL: 09.06.17 | 6th FL: 12.15.17 | 7th FL: 03.25.18 |
8th FL: 07.03.18 | 9th FL: 10.11.18 | Comma: 01.19.19 | 11th FL: 04.29.19 | 12th FL: 08.07.19 | 13th FL: 11.15.19 | 14th FL: 02.23.20 |
15th FL: 06.02.20 | 16th FL: 09.10.20 | 17th FL: 12.19.20 | 18th FL: 03.29.21 | 19th FL: 07.07.21 | Comma 2x: 10.15.21 | 21st FL: 01.23.22 |
22nd FL: 05.03.22 | 23rd FL: 08.11.22 | 24th FL: 11.19.22 | 25th FL: 02.27.23 | 26th FL: 06.07.23 | 27th FL: 09.15.23 | 28th FL: 12.24.23 |
29th FL: 04.02.24 | Comma 3x: 07.11.24 | 31st FL: 10.19.24 |

"From Skoal to Skol!" My HOF Speech HERE!
"There is no victory without a battle."
"Cave = losing an argument to a dead plant in a plastic can. You are smarter than a dead plant." - Candoit
"The truth is the truth even if no one believes it, and a lie is a lie, even if everyone believes it." - Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

Feel like throwing in the towel? Sign the "Contract to Give Up" HERE
Phat Pauly - Part 1 || Phat Pauly - Part 2 || DeanTheCoot - Pencil Poop

Offline Dipchit

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Re: I quit again
« Reply #680 on: January 07, 2024, 09:38:55 AM »
Day 210
Depression has returned today. Not much interest in anything. I’m sure the wave of anxiety is next. It was nice to have one day of low symptoms. I’ll take what I can get. I promise not to dip today.

Offline Dipchit

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Re: I quit again
« Reply #679 on: January 06, 2024, 06:09:49 PM »
Day 209
Anxiety has lessened since dinner last night. Not gunna hold my breath because I’m sure it will be back to kick my ass. That’s the way this journey has been going. Start to feel good only to have the nic cunt come back and throw me back into the depths of hell. Over and over again. I’m just going to relax my body and mind and just enjoy the little break that I’m getting before all hell breaks loose again. I’m done getting my hopes up every time I start to feel better.
I promise big tobacco will not kill me or get any of my money today. I will NOT dip today.
I'm all for cautious optimism but don't waste the good days wallowing in self pity because of some more bad days that may (or may not) even come. Like others have said recently, being quit is a mindset as much as a battle. If you make yourself miserable even on good days/periods, your brain is going to associate that negativity with something you are trying to do to positively improve your health and wellness.

Fight with a optimistic tenacity on days that suck and really work to enjoy the days that offer relief from the storm.

MN/2,813
Keith0617 1920 ODAAT. Your attitude goes a long way in determining how your day goes.
Worktowin 4,131. De-Christmasing. So much work!!
Yep I get what you guys are saying. I still have a long ways to go but today was good. Had a little depression set in for a few hours this afternoon but I ignored it and just kept plugging along and when I thought about it later it was gone. Fuckin ay a good day.
ODAAT.

Offline worktowin

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Re: I quit again
« Reply #678 on: January 06, 2024, 02:31:21 PM »
Day 209
Anxiety has lessened since dinner last night. Not gunna hold my breath because I’m sure it will be back to kick my ass. That’s the way this journey has been going. Start to feel good only to have the nic cunt come back and throw me back into the depths of hell. Over and over again. I’m just going to relax my body and mind and just enjoy the little break that I’m getting before all hell breaks loose again. I’m done getting my hopes up every time I start to feel better.
I promise big tobacco will not kill me or get any of my money today. I will NOT dip today.
I'm all for cautious optimism but don't waste the good days wallowing in self pity because of some more bad days that may (or may not) even come. Like others have said recently, being quit is a mindset as much as a battle. If you make yourself miserable even on good days/periods, your brain is going to associate that negativity with something you are trying to do to positively improve your health and wellness.

Fight with a optimistic tenacity on days that suck and really work to enjoy the days that offer relief from the storm.

MN/2,813
Keith0617 1920 ODAAT. Your attitude goes a long way in determining how your day goes.
Worktowin 4,131. De-Christmasing. So much work!!

Offline Keith0617

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Re: I quit again
« Reply #677 on: January 06, 2024, 10:55:29 AM »
Day 209
Anxiety has lessened since dinner last night. Not gunna hold my breath because I’m sure it will be back to kick my ass. That’s the way this journey has been going. Start to feel good only to have the nic cunt come back and throw me back into the depths of hell. Over and over again. I’m just going to relax my body and mind and just enjoy the little break that I’m getting before all hell breaks loose again. I’m done getting my hopes up every time I start to feel better.
I promise big tobacco will not kill me or get any of my money today. I will NOT dip today.
I'm all for cautious optimism but don't waste the good days wallowing in self pity because of some more bad days that may (or may not) even come. Like others have said recently, being quit is a mindset as much as a battle. If you make yourself miserable even on good days/periods, your brain is going to associate that negativity with something you are trying to do to positively improve your health and wellness.

Fight with a optimistic tenacity on days that suck and really work to enjoy the days that offer relief from the storm.

MN/2,813
Keith0617 1920 ODAAT. Your attitude goes a long way in determining how your day goes.
Jan19

Offline MN_Engineer

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Re: I quit again
« Reply #676 on: January 06, 2024, 10:09:55 AM »
Day 209
Anxiety has lessened since dinner last night. Not gunna hold my breath because I’m sure it will be back to kick my ass. That’s the way this journey has been going. Start to feel good only to have the nic cunt come back and throw me back into the depths of hell. Over and over again. I’m just going to relax my body and mind and just enjoy the little break that I’m getting before all hell breaks loose again. I’m done getting my hopes up every time I start to feel better.
I promise big tobacco will not kill me or get any of my money today. I will NOT dip today.
I'm all for cautious optimism but don't waste the good days wallowing in self pity because of some more bad days that may (or may not) even come. Like others have said recently, being quit is a mindset as much as a battle. If you make yourself miserable even on good days/periods, your brain is going to associate that negativity with something you are trying to do to positively improve your health and wellness.

Fight with a optimistic tenacity on days that suck and really work to enjoy the days that offer relief from the storm.

MN/2,813
Quit: 04.25.16 | HOF: 08.02.16 | 2nd FL: 11.10.16 | 3rd FL: 02.18.17 | 4th FL: 05.29.17 | 5th FL: 09.06.17 | 6th FL: 12.15.17 | 7th FL: 03.25.18 |
8th FL: 07.03.18 | 9th FL: 10.11.18 | Comma: 01.19.19 | 11th FL: 04.29.19 | 12th FL: 08.07.19 | 13th FL: 11.15.19 | 14th FL: 02.23.20 |
15th FL: 06.02.20 | 16th FL: 09.10.20 | 17th FL: 12.19.20 | 18th FL: 03.29.21 | 19th FL: 07.07.21 | Comma 2x: 10.15.21 | 21st FL: 01.23.22 |
22nd FL: 05.03.22 | 23rd FL: 08.11.22 | 24th FL: 11.19.22 | 25th FL: 02.27.23 | 26th FL: 06.07.23 | 27th FL: 09.15.23 | 28th FL: 12.24.23 |
29th FL: 04.02.24 | Comma 3x: 07.11.24 | 31st FL: 10.19.24 |

"From Skoal to Skol!" My HOF Speech HERE!
"There is no victory without a battle."
"Cave = losing an argument to a dead plant in a plastic can. You are smarter than a dead plant." - Candoit
"The truth is the truth even if no one believes it, and a lie is a lie, even if everyone believes it." - Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

Feel like throwing in the towel? Sign the "Contract to Give Up" HERE
Phat Pauly - Part 1 || Phat Pauly - Part 2 || DeanTheCoot - Pencil Poop

Offline Dipchit

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Re: I quit again
« Reply #675 on: January 06, 2024, 07:55:00 AM »
Day 209
Anxiety has lessened since dinner last night. Not gunna hold my breath because I’m sure it will be back to kick my ass. That’s the way this journey has been going. Start to feel good only to have the nic cunt come back and throw me back into the depths of hell. Over and over again. I’m just going to relax my body and mind and just enjoy the little break that I’m getting before all hell breaks loose again. I’m done getting my hopes up every time I start to feel better.
I promise big tobacco will not kill me or get any of my money today. I will NOT dip today.

Offline Dipchit

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Re: I quit again
« Reply #674 on: January 05, 2024, 11:13:58 AM »
I still remember pretty early on in the quit phase.  I got really angry.  I wasted $40,000 and a lot of time, a lot of precious time with people I love, chasing a high that never came only to isolate and do something really dangerous.  I'm really lucky it didn't kill me, like it did so many other people.

So Steve, are you angry at all?  Lately it seems like you are swimming upstream.  Remember, dipping only helped take away withdrawals.  You haven't had a "fix" or a "high" from nicotine in a hell of a long time.  So I'm trying to reconcile the lack of anger on your part.  I wish I had something more helpful to say, but man it seems like you almost miss nicotine.  You gotta stop that shit - its time to get mad!
Oh im pissed and frustrated, believe me I am. I want my life back so badly and big tobacco couldn’t give a fuck!!!
They just want my money. Yes I miss nicotine a lot. I never hated dipping, just hiding it. I promise not to dip today.
Day 208
Anxiety has lessened a little but I ain’t counting my chickens before they hatch. It’s Friday and I have the weekend off to keep my mind calm if at all possible. I still feel depressed but that too has lessened this morning.
Yes Worktowin I’m pissed at the world right now but in reality I’m the one to blame for what’s happening to me. I chose to take that first dip all those years ago and I’m the one who decided to blow a 14 year gap and try “just one” dip in the spring of 2019. Big tobacco sucks for formulating the perfect storm we put in our lips to keep us hooked. Ultimately though it’s my fault and I’m most angry with myself for what I’m going through.
On another note I work with a bunch of guys that dip heavily and they now call me the preacher because I been spreading the word about this site and how dangerous dipping is. Most of them are pretty young and think they are invincible but I got a couple older guys that have been dipping for decades that are thinking about taking the plunge and quitting. Hopefully I can help someone quit.
I've always held that helping others' quits is one of the easiest things to do to strengthen your own quit. Don't let the 'invincible' numbskulls sway you or question your choice. In reality, they are jealous you are free and had the balls to quit and they don't.

MN/2,812 QLAMF ODAAT
Yep I’m sure the younger ones here at work don’t realize or care about the dangers that dip is causing. There is one guy that is in his early 30s with 2 young kids that keeps saying that this is my last can but the next day he has another new one. I’m sure he is tired of hearing me give him shit about it and he is also a ninja dipper. He did stop a couple years ago and he was really unhappy and uncomfortable going through WD. I remember another telling him that total relief was just one dip away and sure enough he caved. Hopefully my influence will help him next time he gives it a shot.
BTW the anxiety and depression is creeping back in again. Didn’t think I was getting off that easy. ODAAT!!!

Offline worktowin

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Re: I quit again
« Reply #673 on: January 05, 2024, 11:11:53 AM »
I still remember pretty early on in the quit phase.  I got really angry.  I wasted $40,000 and a lot of time, a lot of precious time with people I love, chasing a high that never came only to isolate and do something really dangerous.  I'm really lucky it didn't kill me, like it did so many other people.

So Steve, are you angry at all?  Lately it seems like you are swimming upstream.  Remember, dipping only helped take away withdrawals.  You haven't had a "fix" or a "high" from nicotine in a hell of a long time.  So I'm trying to reconcile the lack of anger on your part.  I wish I had something more helpful to say, but man it seems like you almost miss nicotine.  You gotta stop that shit - its time to get mad!
Oh im pissed and frustrated, believe me I am. I want my life back so badly and big tobacco couldn’t give a fuck!!!
They just want my money. Yes I miss nicotine a lot. I never hated dipping, just hiding it. I promise not to dip today.
Day 208
Anxiety has lessened a little but I ain’t counting my chickens before they hatch. It’s Friday and I have the weekend off to keep my mind calm if at all possible. I still feel depressed but that too has lessened this morning.
Yes Worktowin I’m pissed at the world right now but in reality I’m the one to blame for what’s happening to me. I chose to take that first dip all those years ago and I’m the one who decided to blow a 14 year gap and try “just one” dip in the spring of 2019. Big tobacco sucks for formulating the perfect storm we put in our lips to keep us hooked. Ultimately though it’s my fault and I’m most angry with myself for what I’m going through.
On another note I work with a bunch of guys that dip heavily and they now call me the preacher because I been spreading the word about this site and how dangerous dipping is. Most of them are pretty young and think they are invincible but I got a couple older guys that have been dipping for decades that are thinking about taking the plunge and quitting. Hopefully I can help someone quit.
I've always held that helping others' quits is one of the easiest things to do to strengthen your own quit. Don't let the 'invincible' numbskulls sway you or question your choice. In reality, they are jealous you are free and had the balls to quit and they don't.

MN/2,812 QLAMF ODAAT
worktowin 4,030

I HATE NICOTINE AND I HATE TOBACCO.

I wasted over 25 years of my life chasing that fix that never came!  I wasted $40,000+ trying to take away the pain of experiencing withdrawal, with absolutely no benefit!  I lied to my friends and my family to sneak away in shame!  I dared cancer to take me away from my friends and family because I was too weak to stand up for myself and quit for all of those years!  I sat alone in hotels all over the country while on business trips isolated and lonely rather than explore and have fun, all just to try to avoid the pain of withdrawals! 

There is nothing glamorous about addiction.  Quitting isn't easy.  Only the toughest are able to do it.  Its all a mind game for a while, because the chemicals want to win.  And what does losing look like?  It looks like 25 years of my wasted life.  NEVER AGAIN, MY FRIENDS.  NEVER AGAIN.  No pain, no gain.  I'm in this with you guys, we fight together, we win together.  And every win is a celebration, there is no fear or misery when it comes to winning.

Offline MN_Engineer

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Re: I quit again
« Reply #672 on: January 05, 2024, 08:46:07 AM »
I still remember pretty early on in the quit phase.  I got really angry.  I wasted $40,000 and a lot of time, a lot of precious time with people I love, chasing a high that never came only to isolate and do something really dangerous.  I'm really lucky it didn't kill me, like it did so many other people.

So Steve, are you angry at all?  Lately it seems like you are swimming upstream.  Remember, dipping only helped take away withdrawals.  You haven't had a "fix" or a "high" from nicotine in a hell of a long time.  So I'm trying to reconcile the lack of anger on your part.  I wish I had something more helpful to say, but man it seems like you almost miss nicotine.  You gotta stop that shit - its time to get mad!
Oh im pissed and frustrated, believe me I am. I want my life back so badly and big tobacco couldn’t give a fuck!!!
They just want my money. Yes I miss nicotine a lot. I never hated dipping, just hiding it. I promise not to dip today.
Day 208
Anxiety has lessened a little but I ain’t counting my chickens before they hatch. It’s Friday and I have the weekend off to keep my mind calm if at all possible. I still feel depressed but that too has lessened this morning.
Yes Worktowin I’m pissed at the world right now but in reality I’m the one to blame for what’s happening to me. I chose to take that first dip all those years ago and I’m the one who decided to blow a 14 year gap and try “just one” dip in the spring of 2019. Big tobacco sucks for formulating the perfect storm we put in our lips to keep us hooked. Ultimately though it’s my fault and I’m most angry with myself for what I’m going through.
On another note I work with a bunch of guys that dip heavily and they now call me the preacher because I been spreading the word about this site and how dangerous dipping is. Most of them are pretty young and think they are invincible but I got a couple older guys that have been dipping for decades that are thinking about taking the plunge and quitting. Hopefully I can help someone quit.
I've always held that helping others' quits is one of the easiest things to do to strengthen your own quit. Don't let the 'invincible' numbskulls sway you or question your choice. In reality, they are jealous you are free and had the balls to quit and they don't.

MN/2,812 QLAMF ODAAT
Quit: 04.25.16 | HOF: 08.02.16 | 2nd FL: 11.10.16 | 3rd FL: 02.18.17 | 4th FL: 05.29.17 | 5th FL: 09.06.17 | 6th FL: 12.15.17 | 7th FL: 03.25.18 |
8th FL: 07.03.18 | 9th FL: 10.11.18 | Comma: 01.19.19 | 11th FL: 04.29.19 | 12th FL: 08.07.19 | 13th FL: 11.15.19 | 14th FL: 02.23.20 |
15th FL: 06.02.20 | 16th FL: 09.10.20 | 17th FL: 12.19.20 | 18th FL: 03.29.21 | 19th FL: 07.07.21 | Comma 2x: 10.15.21 | 21st FL: 01.23.22 |
22nd FL: 05.03.22 | 23rd FL: 08.11.22 | 24th FL: 11.19.22 | 25th FL: 02.27.23 | 26th FL: 06.07.23 | 27th FL: 09.15.23 | 28th FL: 12.24.23 |
29th FL: 04.02.24 | Comma 3x: 07.11.24 | 31st FL: 10.19.24 |

"From Skoal to Skol!" My HOF Speech HERE!
"There is no victory without a battle."
"Cave = losing an argument to a dead plant in a plastic can. You are smarter than a dead plant." - Candoit
"The truth is the truth even if no one believes it, and a lie is a lie, even if everyone believes it." - Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

Feel like throwing in the towel? Sign the "Contract to Give Up" HERE
Phat Pauly - Part 1 || Phat Pauly - Part 2 || DeanTheCoot - Pencil Poop

Offline Dipchit

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Re: I quit again
« Reply #671 on: January 05, 2024, 07:26:54 AM »
I still remember pretty early on in the quit phase.  I got really angry.  I wasted $40,000 and a lot of time, a lot of precious time with people I love, chasing a high that never came only to isolate and do something really dangerous.  I'm really lucky it didn't kill me, like it did so many other people.

So Steve, are you angry at all?  Lately it seems like you are swimming upstream.  Remember, dipping only helped take away withdrawals.  You haven't had a "fix" or a "high" from nicotine in a hell of a long time.  So I'm trying to reconcile the lack of anger on your part.  I wish I had something more helpful to say, but man it seems like you almost miss nicotine.  You gotta stop that shit - its time to get mad!
Oh im pissed and frustrated, believe me I am. I want my life back so badly and big tobacco couldn’t give a fuck!!!
They just want my money. Yes I miss nicotine a lot. I never hated dipping, just hiding it. I promise not to dip today.
Day 208
Anxiety has lessened a little but I ain’t counting my chickens before they hatch. It’s Friday and I have the weekend off to keep my mind calm if at all possible. I still feel depressed but that too has lessened this morning.
Yes Worktowin I’m pissed at the world right now but in reality I’m the one to blame for what’s happening to me. I chose to take that first dip all those years ago and I’m the one who decided to blow a 14 year gap and try “just one” dip in the spring of 2019. Big tobacco sucks for formulating the perfect storm we put in our lips to keep us hooked. Ultimately though it’s my fault and I’m most angry with myself for what I’m going through.
On another note I work with a bunch of guys that dip heavily and they now call me the preacher because I been spreading the word about this site and how dangerous dipping is. Most of them are pretty young and think they are invincible but I got a couple older guys that have been dipping for decades that are thinking about taking the plunge and quitting. Hopefully I can help someone quit.