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Offline kybo

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Re: Kybo from 1-13-18
« Reply #92 on: April 16, 2018, 03:47:00 PM »
Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: Kybo
Day 100

Thanks for the well wishes and congratulations. But, it honestly is just another day to me.

I like the fact that somebody had the bright idea to put the HOF at 100 days because it has an attainable feel to it. But, once you get here you just kind of look around and realize that today isn't any different than yesterday. And it is probably going to feel exactly the same tomorrow. But, I do feel better about tomorrow than I did 99 days ago. And, I feel better now about the possibility of making it a year than I did 3 months ago. So, maybe there is some magic, or maybe even some logic, to that 100 Day Hall of Fame number.

I think I am going to hold off on celebrating for now. It doesn't really feel like I have accomplished anything yet. But, I did do one thing for myself today. I felt like I earned it after 100 days. What did I do you ask?

I finally implemented the "ignore user" function.
Congratulations, sir. You have a pretty epic quit going on.

One day at a time, there are some great things ahead.

Keep winning.
Thank you, sir.

Oh and more thing I forgot to mention in my earlier post. In classic April '18 fashion, I actually got bumped off roll today on my 100th day. That, my friends, put the biggest smile on my face that I have had all day! roflmao
"No regrets, that's my motto. That and everybody Wang Chung tonight."
"That's what's great about the outdoors, you know. It's one giant toilet."
"i thought I could stay at the party forever, it don't work that way, cause that shit will kill ya" -- Stevie Ray Vaughan

HOF date: 4/16/182nd Floor: 7/25/183rd Floor: 11/02/184th Floor: 2/10/195th Floor: 5/21/196th Floor: 8/19/197th Floor: 12/7/198th Floor: 3/16/209th Floor: 6/24/2010th Floor: 10/02/2011th Floor: 1/10/2112th Floor: 4/20/2113th Floor: 7/29/2114th Floor: 11/7/2115th Floor:  2/14/2216th Floor:  5/25/2217th Floor:  9/2/2218th Floor:  12/11/2219th Floor:  3/21/23

Offline worktowin

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Re: Kybo from 1-13-18
« Reply #91 on: April 16, 2018, 03:39:00 PM »
Quote from: Kybo
Day 100

Thanks for the well wishes and congratulations. But, it honestly is just another day to me.

I like the fact that somebody had the bright idea to put the HOF at 100 days because it has an attainable feel to it. But, once you get here you just kind of look around and realize that today isn't any different than yesterday. And it is probably going to feel exactly the same tomorrow. But, I do feel better about tomorrow than I did 99 days ago. And, I feel better now about the possibility of making it a year than I did 3 months ago. So, maybe there is some magic, or maybe even some logic, to that 100 Day Hall of Fame number.

I think I am going to hold off on celebrating for now. It doesn't really feel like I have accomplished anything yet. But, I did do one thing for myself today. I felt like I earned it after 100 days. What did I do you ask?

I finally implemented the "ignore user" function.
Congratulations, sir. You have a pretty epic quit going on.

One day at a time, there are some great things ahead.

Keep winning.

Offline kybo

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Re: Kybo from 1-13-18
« Reply #90 on: April 16, 2018, 03:22:00 PM »
Day 100

Thanks for the well wishes and congratulations. But, it honestly is just another day to me.

I like the fact that somebody had the bright idea to put the HOF at 100 days because it has an attainable feel to it. But, once you get here you just kind of look around and realize that today isn't any different than yesterday. And it is probably going to feel exactly the same tomorrow. But, I do feel better about tomorrow than I did 99 days ago. And, I feel better now about the possibility of making it a year than I did 3 months ago. So, maybe there is some magic, or maybe even some logic, to that 100 Day Hall of Fame number.

I think I am going to hold off on celebrating for now. It doesn't really feel like I have accomplished anything yet. But, I did do one thing for myself today. I felt like I earned it after 100 days. What did I do you ask?

I finally implemented the "ignore user" function.
"No regrets, that's my motto. That and everybody Wang Chung tonight."
"That's what's great about the outdoors, you know. It's one giant toilet."
"i thought I could stay at the party forever, it don't work that way, cause that shit will kill ya" -- Stevie Ray Vaughan

HOF date: 4/16/182nd Floor: 7/25/183rd Floor: 11/02/184th Floor: 2/10/195th Floor: 5/21/196th Floor: 8/19/197th Floor: 12/7/198th Floor: 3/16/209th Floor: 6/24/2010th Floor: 10/02/2011th Floor: 1/10/2112th Floor: 4/20/2113th Floor: 7/29/2114th Floor: 11/7/2115th Floor:  2/14/2216th Floor:  5/25/2217th Floor:  9/2/2218th Floor:  12/11/2219th Floor:  3/21/23

Offline Doofus

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Re: Kybo from 1-13-18
« Reply #89 on: April 13, 2018, 09:17:00 PM »
Quote from: Kybo
Quote from: Athan
Quote from: Kybo
....I think subconsciously I was hoping that I would discover that I could get to the point where I could control the addiction and still have the occasional chew....
I was PLANNING on chewing this summer when I went back home to Texas to see my brothers (got six brothers - feel for you boys that don't have brothers). That was before I joined KTC and had to come to terms with the addiction side of it. I've had YEARS, too many YEARs, of slavery. That's why JGromo destroyed his gransfather's cigar (the most epic of quits). I can't go back. Look at how you hid cans in the mouth of that northern pike, how you found that can in the vacation rental from a previous year! Along the treeline etc. I'm angry that I wasted so much time and health, and $$$$. Wow. had to vent. Had a mild crave this evening and remembered all that...
Yeah. That "PLANNING" that we were doing early on was just our brain trying to negotiate with the nic bitch. I did the same thing. At first I was just going to cut back, but still have a chew every once in awhile. Then, I was going to just quit for awhile to prove that I was still in control. Next, I was going to quit, but just chew on "special occasions." It only took me about a month of cutting back to realize that I was never going to be in control of my addiction. At that point I knew I was going to have to do all or nothing. I chose to give up the nic bitch completely.

I am like the Federal government now. I no longer negotiate with that terrorist. I just shoot that bad bitch down. 'Remshot'

FYI - I am still finding cans. Just found one last week shoved in a rubber boot inside the tool box in the bed of my truck. I don't even remember putting it there.
Oh I hear that, fishing season is about to kick off....I already found tins in my gear

Offline kybo

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Re: Kybo from 1-13-18
« Reply #88 on: April 13, 2018, 08:38:00 AM »
Quote from: Athan
Quote from: Kybo
....I think subconsciously I was hoping that I would discover that I could get to the point where I could control the addiction and still have the occasional chew....
I was PLANNING on chewing this summer when I went back home to Texas to see my brothers (got six brothers - feel for you boys that don't have brothers). That was before I joined KTC and had to come to terms with the addiction side of it. I've had YEARS, too many YEARs, of slavery. That's why JGromo destroyed his gransfather's cigar (the most epic of quits). I can't go back. Look at how you hid cans in the mouth of that northern pike, how you found that can in the vacation rental from a previous year! Along the treeline etc. I'm angry that I wasted so much time and health, and $$$$. Wow. had to vent. Had a mild crave this evening and remembered all that...
Yeah. That "PLANNING" that we were doing early on was just our brain trying to negotiate with the nic bitch. I did the same thing. At first I was just going to cut back, but still have a chew every once in awhile. Then, I was going to just quit for awhile to prove that I was still in control. Next, I was going to quit, but just chew on "special occasions." It only took me about a month of cutting back to realize that I was never going to be in control of my addiction. At that point I knew I was going to have to do all or nothing. I chose to give up the nic bitch completely.

I am like the Federal government now. I no longer negotiate with that terrorist. I just shoot that bad bitch down. 'Remshot'

FYI - I am still finding cans. Just found one last week shoved in a rubber boot inside the tool box in the bed of my truck. I don't even remember putting it there.
"No regrets, that's my motto. That and everybody Wang Chung tonight."
"That's what's great about the outdoors, you know. It's one giant toilet."
"i thought I could stay at the party forever, it don't work that way, cause that shit will kill ya" -- Stevie Ray Vaughan

HOF date: 4/16/182nd Floor: 7/25/183rd Floor: 11/02/184th Floor: 2/10/195th Floor: 5/21/196th Floor: 8/19/197th Floor: 12/7/198th Floor: 3/16/209th Floor: 6/24/2010th Floor: 10/02/2011th Floor: 1/10/2112th Floor: 4/20/2113th Floor: 7/29/2114th Floor: 11/7/2115th Floor:  2/14/2216th Floor:  5/25/2217th Floor:  9/2/2218th Floor:  12/11/2219th Floor:  3/21/23

Offline Athan

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Re: Kybo from 1-13-18
« Reply #87 on: April 12, 2018, 06:47:00 PM »
Quote from: Kybo
....I think subconsciously I was hoping that I would discover that I could get to the point where I could control the addiction and still have the occasional chew....
I was PLANNING on chewing this summer when I went back home to Texas to see my brothers (got six brothers - feel for you boys that don't have brothers). That was before I joined KTC and had to come to terms with the addiction side of it. I've had YEARS, too many YEARs, of slavery. That's why JGromo destroyed his gransfather's cigar (the most epic of quits). I can't go back. Look at how you hid cans in the mouth of that northern pike, how you found that can in the vacation rental from a previous year! Along the treeline etc. I'm angry that I wasted so much time and health, and $$$$. Wow. had to vent. Had a mild crave this evening and remembered all that...
"I hope you find a thousand reasons to quit today" Rawls
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"In the Navy we had morning muster. You never miss muster. You better be dead if you miss. If you are dying, you should have started crawling earlier, no excuse." Olcpo

The Science of Addiction
The Law of Addiction
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My Intro and HOF Speech
Quitters I've met: Cbird, UncleRico, Gregor, KDip, Broccoli-saurus, Croakenhagen, BriagG, Koba, Kodiakdeath, Arrakisdq, McDave, Worktowin, SkolVikings, JGromo, GS9502, PaDutchman, Stillbrewing, A-Aron...
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Offline kybo

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Re: Kybo from 1-13-18
« Reply #86 on: April 11, 2018, 06:28:00 PM »
So here I am sitting at my youngest daughterÂ’s first outdoor practice of the Spring soccer season. I am pretty sure this will be the first outdoor practice of her life that I wasnÂ’t there with a ninja dip in my mouth. I was a little worried about this being a trigger for me, but it is actually quite the opposite. It is kind of nice to not have to sneak around a tobacco free facility trying to hide the disgusting wad of shit in my mouth. I could totally get used to this!! I call that a win!
"No regrets, that's my motto. That and everybody Wang Chung tonight."
"That's what's great about the outdoors, you know. It's one giant toilet."
"i thought I could stay at the party forever, it don't work that way, cause that shit will kill ya" -- Stevie Ray Vaughan

HOF date: 4/16/182nd Floor: 7/25/183rd Floor: 11/02/184th Floor: 2/10/195th Floor: 5/21/196th Floor: 8/19/197th Floor: 12/7/198th Floor: 3/16/209th Floor: 6/24/2010th Floor: 10/02/2011th Floor: 1/10/2112th Floor: 4/20/2113th Floor: 7/29/2114th Floor: 11/7/2115th Floor:  2/14/2216th Floor:  5/25/2217th Floor:  9/2/2218th Floor:  12/11/2219th Floor:  3/21/23

Offline kybo

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Re: Kybo from 1-13-18
« Reply #85 on: April 11, 2018, 08:34:00 AM »
BrianG posted the gem below from DeanTheCoot on Athan's intro page yesterday. I just cut and pasted this one paragraph because I swear it is something I could have written myself. I am still working on developing that militant hatred, but the rest of it is me all the way. I do come to KTC every day and watch the struggles of the new guys/gals. I feel sorry for them and happy for them at the same time. It strengthens my quit to watch what they go through. I also see the people that cave and/or just disappear from the site. I feel only sorrow for them. But, they strengthen my quit too.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The nic bitch is the mental version of the Sham Wow fag, you need to turn the fucking channel or put in some ear plugs. Honestly what helped me is finding some other poor deluded addict on his day one and watching him struggle like hell. It was almost sadistic at first. I felt satiatied when they hit the fog and the funk and the headaches and first no sleep then can't sleep enough, and the mouth sores and the fear of cancer. Watching them helped me stay quit because I hated that and won't do it again. I remember being desperate to stop and each night laying in bed thinking tomorrow tomorrow I wont dip. Watching guys cave forces me to remember that and not become complacent with my quit. Then it turned from love of dip and a sense of loss to a militant hatred. You have to cultivate that hate. Watching people struggle today pisses me off, not at them, but at the addiction. It is crazy the toll nic takes on us both mentally and physically. Find some strugglers in the new group and try to shepard them thru to the Hof. Don't get discouraged with yourself if they cave, many will. It will only remind you how far you have come and what you left behind. This will strengthen your quit. If they do make it, sharing the struggle with them will strengthen your quit as well.

Good luck Dean The Quitter
"No regrets, that's my motto. That and everybody Wang Chung tonight."
"That's what's great about the outdoors, you know. It's one giant toilet."
"i thought I could stay at the party forever, it don't work that way, cause that shit will kill ya" -- Stevie Ray Vaughan

HOF date: 4/16/182nd Floor: 7/25/183rd Floor: 11/02/184th Floor: 2/10/195th Floor: 5/21/196th Floor: 8/19/197th Floor: 12/7/198th Floor: 3/16/209th Floor: 6/24/2010th Floor: 10/02/2011th Floor: 1/10/2112th Floor: 4/20/2113th Floor: 7/29/2114th Floor: 11/7/2115th Floor:  2/14/2216th Floor:  5/25/2217th Floor:  9/2/2218th Floor:  12/11/2219th Floor:  3/21/23

Offline Doofus

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Re: Kybo from 1-13-18
« Reply #84 on: April 10, 2018, 07:52:00 PM »
Quote from: Kybo
Quote from: Eric71
Quote from: Doofus
It's pretty amazing how similar all our stories are....total transparency is that nicotine bitch's greatest enemy! Day 87, proud with you today.
Thoughts of chew still enter my mind on occasion. It's okay. I laugh internally and scoff at how desperate and clingy the nic bitch is; such a whore, stealing the lifeblood out of men, fathers, heroes to our children, leaders in our communities. I look down into her big doe eyes, calmly raise my leg, and firmly press my boot into her throat, choking the lifeblood out of her and her poisonous lies. That is how I think of chew now.
My preferred method is to visualize myself beating her with a tire iron. It would definitely be easier for me if I didn't see nicotine as a female, but you have to work with the tools you have.
I visialize dropping an "upper decker in her apartment" during a party, pissing in her shampoo bottles, blowing a load on her face towel and then just walking away to let her enjoy her shit water.....is that wrong? 'oh yeah'

Offline kybo

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Re: Kybo from 1-13-18
« Reply #83 on: April 10, 2018, 12:00:00 PM »
Quote from: Eric71
Quote from: Doofus
It's pretty amazing how similar all our stories are....total transparency is that nicotine bitch's greatest enemy! Day 87, proud with you today.
Thoughts of chew still enter my mind on occasion. It's okay. I laugh internally and scoff at how desperate and clingy the nic bitch is; such a whore, stealing the lifeblood out of men, fathers, heroes to our children, leaders in our communities. I look down into her big doe eyes, calmly raise my leg, and firmly press my boot into her throat, choking the lifeblood out of her and her poisonous lies. That is how I think of chew now.
My preferred method is to visualize myself beating her with a tire iron. It would definitely be easier for me if I didn't see nicotine as a female, but you have to work with the tools you have.
"No regrets, that's my motto. That and everybody Wang Chung tonight."
"That's what's great about the outdoors, you know. It's one giant toilet."
"i thought I could stay at the party forever, it don't work that way, cause that shit will kill ya" -- Stevie Ray Vaughan

HOF date: 4/16/182nd Floor: 7/25/183rd Floor: 11/02/184th Floor: 2/10/195th Floor: 5/21/196th Floor: 8/19/197th Floor: 12/7/198th Floor: 3/16/209th Floor: 6/24/2010th Floor: 10/02/2011th Floor: 1/10/2112th Floor: 4/20/2113th Floor: 7/29/2114th Floor: 11/7/2115th Floor:  2/14/2216th Floor:  5/25/2217th Floor:  9/2/2218th Floor:  12/11/2219th Floor:  3/21/23

Offline eric71

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Re: Kybo from 1-13-18
« Reply #82 on: April 10, 2018, 08:34:00 AM »
Quote from: Doofus
It's pretty amazing how similar all our stories are....total transparency is that nicotine bitch's greatest enemy! Day 87, proud with you today.
Thoughts of chew still enter my mind on occasion. It's okay. I laugh internally and scoff at how desperate and clingy the nic bitch is; such a whore, stealing the lifeblood out of men, fathers, heroes to our children, leaders in our communities. I look down into her big doe eyes, calmly raise my leg, and firmly press my boot into her throat, choking the lifeblood out of her and her poisonous lies. That is how I think of chew now.

Offline Doofus

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Re: Kybo from 1-13-18
« Reply #81 on: April 10, 2018, 06:59:00 AM »
It's pretty amazing how similar all our stories are....total transparency is that nicotine bitch's greatest enemy! Day 87, proud with you today.

Offline kybo

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Re: Kybo from 1-13-18
« Reply #80 on: April 09, 2018, 10:50:00 PM »
Quote from: Doofus
Quote from: Kybo
Quote from: Athan
Quote from: Kybo
....I feel like my inability to control my addiction is really what drove me to go cold turkey in the first place....



This is what really did it for me in the end; I could no longer tolerate myself for being willfully subservient to an inanimate object. I hope that never leaves me.
Exactly! It is the fuel that drives me. I never want to forget.

When I first started seriously thinking about quitting I decided that at first I would just cut back and gradually taper my usage down to nothing. I think subconsciously I was hoping that I would discover that I could get to the point where I could control the addiction and still have the occasional chew. I tapered down for roughly a month and suffered physical withdrawals every day during that time. It sucked, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. It made me realize 100% that I was physically addicted to it and I had absolutely zero control over it. I did not like that feeling at all.

I look back now and I am glad I tried to taper down before I went cold turkey. My resolve might not be as strong today if I had done it any other way. I think that attempt to taper really made me take a hard look in the mirror. And what I saw looking back at me really pissed me off.
1) what saw in mirror pissed me off
2) all my OCD behaviors...flossing, recycling, 2 tins a day, sometimes 3, 1 dip= full tin, health effects
3) guilt
4) cost....volume of my habit was insane
5) no control, nothing in life has kicked my ass as bad as nicotine

The list for quit goes on and on....the other motivator has been my competitive spirit, I dont like to lose, dont know many people that do.....but KTC presented a winning strategy, one I could not do on my own
About five years ago my employer went to mandatory direct deposit. My wife about shit when she saw how much money I actually made. I had been skimming cash off of every check for years when I deposited the checks at the bank. She had no idea. Direct deposit put an end to that. After direct deposit started I had to make up all kinds of bullshit to explain why I needed to withdraw so much money every month. Talk about feeling guilty.
"No regrets, that's my motto. That and everybody Wang Chung tonight."
"That's what's great about the outdoors, you know. It's one giant toilet."
"i thought I could stay at the party forever, it don't work that way, cause that shit will kill ya" -- Stevie Ray Vaughan

HOF date: 4/16/182nd Floor: 7/25/183rd Floor: 11/02/184th Floor: 2/10/195th Floor: 5/21/196th Floor: 8/19/197th Floor: 12/7/198th Floor: 3/16/209th Floor: 6/24/2010th Floor: 10/02/2011th Floor: 1/10/2112th Floor: 4/20/2113th Floor: 7/29/2114th Floor: 11/7/2115th Floor:  2/14/2216th Floor:  5/25/2217th Floor:  9/2/2218th Floor:  12/11/2219th Floor:  3/21/23

Offline Doofus

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Re: Kybo from 1-13-18
« Reply #79 on: April 09, 2018, 09:12:00 PM »
Quote from: Kybo
Quote from: Athan
Quote from: Kybo
....I feel like my inability to control my addiction is really what drove me to go cold turkey in the first place....



This is what really did it for me in the end; I could no longer tolerate myself for being willfully subservient to an inanimate object. I hope that never leaves me.
Exactly! It is the fuel that drives me. I never want to forget.

When I first started seriously thinking about quitting I decided that at first I would just cut back and gradually taper my usage down to nothing. I think subconsciously I was hoping that I would discover that I could get to the point where I could control the addiction and still have the occasional chew. I tapered down for roughly a month and suffered physical withdrawals every day during that time. It sucked, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. It made me realize 100% that I was physically addicted to it and I had absolutely zero control over it. I did not like that feeling at all.

I look back now and I am glad I tried to taper down before I went cold turkey. My resolve might not be as strong today if I had done it any other way. I think that attempt to taper really made me take a hard look in the mirror. And what I saw looking back at me really pissed me off.
1) what saw in mirror pissed me off
2) all my OCD behaviors...flossing, recycling, 2 tins a day, sometimes 3, 1 dip= full tin, health effects
3) guilt
4) cost....volume of my habit was insane
5) no control, nothing in life has kicked my ass as bad as nicotine

The list for quit goes on and on....the other motivator has been my competitive spirit, I dont like to lose, dont know many people that do.....but KTC presented a winning strategy, one I could not do on my own

Offline kybo

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Re: Kybo from 1-13-18
« Reply #78 on: April 09, 2018, 07:05:00 PM »
Quote from: Athan
Quote from: Kybo
....I feel like my inability to control my addiction is really what drove me to go cold turkey in the first place....



This is what really did it for me in the end; I could no longer tolerate myself for being willfully subservient to an inanimate object. I hope that never leaves me.
Exactly! It is the fuel that drives me. I never want to forget.

When I first started seriously thinking about quitting I decided that at first I would just cut back and gradually taper my usage down to nothing. I think subconsciously I was hoping that I would discover that I could get to the point where I could control the addiction and still have the occasional chew. I tapered down for roughly a month and suffered physical withdrawals every day during that time. It sucked, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. It made me realize 100% that I was physically addicted to it and I had absolutely zero control over it. I did not like that feeling at all.

I look back now and I am glad I tried to taper down before I went cold turkey. My resolve might not be as strong today if I had done it any other way. I think that attempt to taper really made me take a hard look in the mirror. And what I saw looking back at me really pissed me off.
"No regrets, that's my motto. That and everybody Wang Chung tonight."
"That's what's great about the outdoors, you know. It's one giant toilet."
"i thought I could stay at the party forever, it don't work that way, cause that shit will kill ya" -- Stevie Ray Vaughan

HOF date: 4/16/182nd Floor: 7/25/183rd Floor: 11/02/184th Floor: 2/10/195th Floor: 5/21/196th Floor: 8/19/197th Floor: 12/7/198th Floor: 3/16/209th Floor: 6/24/2010th Floor: 10/02/2011th Floor: 1/10/2112th Floor: 4/20/2113th Floor: 7/29/2114th Floor: 11/7/2115th Floor:  2/14/2216th Floor:  5/25/2217th Floor:  9/2/2218th Floor:  12/11/2219th Floor:  3/21/23