Kybo

[kybo]

Day 69

I think I have emerged from the funk I have been in for the last week. I was a little worried that March Madness would be a huge trigger and would cause me some grief, but I had no issues on Day 1 of the tourney. I took the day off of work yesterday to get some more clearing done on my property since the barn guys are supposed to start next week. Used some Bacc Off while I was running the chainsaw and brush cutter and that seemed to stop me from even thinking about chew for the day. Would have been a great day had the oil filler cap not stripped out on the saw. I had to hold the saw sideways to keep all the oil from leaking out. I didn't have any problems cutting the trees down, but I couldn't do a decent job cutting to manageable links because I had to hold the saw sideways. It ended up cutting my day a little short and I just went inside and watched some basketball. I am going to try to find a replacement cap today while I am on lunch and I will pick up an extra chain as well.

It dawned on me last night that here I am at Day 69 and if this is the best it ever gets I am OK with that. I hear the vets saying all the time that "it gets better." But, I seriously realized last night that I am OK with how it is right now. I am not going to complain if it keeps getting better, but life ain't so bad right now. I still find myself thinking about chew quite a bit, but I can't really call it a craving. It is more like my subconscious is still trying to romanticize tobacco every chance it gets, but it doesn't put near the effort into it any more because it knows I am not going to budge. I honestly think I crave cigars more than I crave chew and I was never a huge cigar smoker. I maybe smoked a few dozen cigars a year before I gave up tobacco. This is a battle that I feel pretty good about winning.

I feel great physically. I started dieting a few days ago and I think I am already starting to feel a difference. I feel like my appetite has already returned to normal and I am eating a ton better. I have continued with my treadmill work and I have now done my first two days of upper body. In addition to that, I am still busting my ass to clear some trees and brush from the back of my property which is a hell of a workout by itself. I know exercise has played a huge roll in making this quit easier for me. If you are still in the early days of trying to quit I strongly advise you to start exercising.

The only physical issue I have right now is that it feels like my mouth is watering all the time. I didn't notice this problem until about a week ago which is when I started cutting back on the fake chew. Now, I find myself spitting constantly even when I don't have anything in my mouth. I feel like Pavlov's dog probably would have felt if the bell somehow got stuck in ring mode. I chewed tobacco for so long that I can't honestly remember if my mouth watered like this before I started chewing, or not. And I never noticed my mouth watering like this when I was using tobacco, but I usually had a dip in my mouth if it was possible to have one. So, I'm not sure what is normal and what is not. Of course, this all could just be another psychological trick that the nic bitch is trying to use on me to make me miss her. Who the fuck knows? If the problem persists I will ask my doctor the next time I see him. Until then, I will keep quitting one day at a time. This too shall pass.

I know there wasn't much interesting in this post today. I am sorry if you read it from start to finish. Just a little more therapy for my addict brain. I quit with you today!

Day 72

I have seen some discussions on KTC over the last several weeks where some members have talked about reevaluating their desire/need to quit after a period of time. I haven't read anything where anyone was actively planning to start using tobacco again, but I have seen some discussions where people were leaving the door open to at least consider the possibility of maybe having a cigar or a chew somewhere down the line. Maybe after 100 Days, maybe after a year, or maybe after reaching the comma club. It was just a few discussions here and there and nobody was saying they thought it was a good idea. But, it was enough to get me thinking about the subject.

I will admit this "reevaluation" has crossed my mind numerous times over the last 72 Days. I always shoot it down pretty quickly whenever that little voice brings it up because I have been down that road before more than once. Don't get me wrong, I would love to able to have a cigar again some day. But, I know I can't have that one unless I am willing to go back full bore to being a slave to nicotine. Because that is what has happened to me in the past every time I have decided to have just one.

It starts off slow in the beginning. Just one chew with your buddies while you are out fishing. You don't feel any kind of withdrawal after that one so after awhile you convince yourself you can have another when you want because you obviously don't have a problem. Pretty soon you buy your own can. You are still just having one every once in awhile, but then it becomes just when you mow the lawn. Then you add in just when you are taking a long drive. Next thing you know you are also having a chew after lunch every day. That is how it starts. Then one day you find yourself taking 30 minute shits every day just so you can lock yourself in the bathroom to get your nicotine fix without your wife knowing you caved again. And there you are! Back to a can a day addiction again!

I am writing this down now so that I can read it again in the future. I am happy right now. I do not want to be a slave to nicotine ever again. It is not worth it to ever try to have just one. I cannot allow myself to listen to that little voice. I have proven time and time again that I can't have just one because I am an addict.

I am happy right now....................Today.

And today is all that matters. I know that I will not have a chew today because I made a promise. I will worry about tomorrow when tomorrow becomes today.

What follows is not a direct message to you, but rather, to those who want to believe they are smarter than the system:

When the door is shut, it closes a chapter in your life. Don't go back and try to edit it. There is no open door policy for quitting nicotine. Those who discuss quitting in this manner are not quitters. They have just stopped for a period of time. Leaving yourself the opportunity to go back to the chains of addiction is setting yourself up for failure. They miss the entire, singular point of quitting. It means no more, not for any reason, ever. Quit fantasizing about nicotine. What the fuck is wrong with you? Was the effort and commitment of your quit so meaningless that you would choose to give it all away for a few moments of the past? Would you give up all the work and effort you put into your marriage to go fuck a prostitute because she was right there and it was half off Tuesday? Get a grip on your quit. You are done with nicotine, move on!

When I first started seriously thinking about giving up tobacco I decided to make a "Pros and Cons" list. I already knew I was going to attempt to quit, but I thought the list would help solidify the decision. I am not going to bore everyone with the items on that list but I will tell you that the items on the Con side of tobacco use were rolling off my lips as soon as I put pen to paper. And I seriously found myself struggling to come up with any legitimate items to put on the Pros side.

In the end, I had two items on the Pro side of tobacco use and they were both ridiculous in my opinion. One was that I liked the taste of Grizzly Fine Cut Natural and the taste of a fine cigar, and the other was that it was a shared activity with my friends. The Cons list was so long that I found it ridiculous that I even bothered spending the time to try to think of something to put on the Pros side. Seriously...........

Why the fuck would I ever consider using tobacco again? OK, I will answer that question because I think there really is only one acceptable answer.

The only way I would ever consider using tobacco again is if some scientist comes up with a new strain of tobacco that has zero negative impacts on my health. And because I have serious trust issues, I probably wouldn't believe the scientist and would stay away from the new tobacco anyway. Right now that is the only thing I can think of that could make me even remotely think about chewing tobacco or smoking a cigar again. Yes, I like the taste of Grizzly Fine Cut Natural very much. But, I can live without it. I can come up with no other reason that would make me want to crack open that door again.

I totally understand that stopping the romanticizing of tobacco use can be a real challenge. For the rest of my life I am sure I will always associate fishing/hunting/mowing the grass/sitting by a campfire/road trips/etc with chewing tobacco. But, here I am at 73 Days in and I have already proven to myself that I can enjoy every one of those things just as much without that cancer causing fatty in my lip. Yeah, that little voice still tries to talk to me every once in awhile. But, I just decided to stop listening.

I have no plans to ever reevaluate my desire/need to quit. I made the decision I made for a lot of very good reasons. The most important reason of all being that I just wanted to quit. I am done with tobacco controlling my life. I have turned that page and started a new chapter. And I am very hopeful this book will have a happy ending.

[eric71]

Day 69

I think I have emerged from the funk I have been in for the last week. I was a little worried that March Madness would be a huge trigger and would cause me some grief, but I had no issues on Day 1 of the tourney. I took the day off of work yesterday to get some more clearing done on my property since the barn guys are supposed to start next week. Used some Bacc Off while I was running the chainsaw and brush cutter and that seemed to stop me from even thinking about chew for the day. Would have been a great day had the oil filler cap not stripped out on the saw. I had to hold the saw sideways to keep all the oil from leaking out. I didn't have any problems cutting the trees down, but I couldn't do a decent job cutting to manageable links because I had to hold the saw sideways. It ended up cutting my day a little short and I just went inside and watched some basketball. I am going to try to find a replacement cap today while I am on lunch and I will pick up an extra chain as well.

It dawned on me last night that here I am at Day 69 and if this is the best it ever gets I am OK with that. I hear the vets saying all the time that "it gets better." But, I seriously realized last night that I am OK with how it is right now. I am not going to complain if it keeps getting better, but life ain't so bad right now. I still find myself thinking about chew quite a bit, but I can't really call it a craving. It is more like my subconscious is still trying to romanticize tobacco every chance it gets, but it doesn't put near the effort into it any more because it knows I am not going to budge. I honestly think I crave cigars more than I crave chew and I was never a huge cigar smoker. I maybe smoked a few dozen cigars a year before I gave up tobacco. This is a battle that I feel pretty good about winning.

I feel great physically. I started dieting a few days ago and I think I am already starting to feel a difference. I feel like my appetite has already returned to normal and I am eating a ton better. I have continued with my treadmill work and I have now done my first two days of upper body. In addition to that, I am still busting my ass to clear some trees and brush from the back of my property which is a hell of a workout by itself. I know exercise has played a huge roll in making this quit easier for me. If you are still in the early days of trying to quit I strongly advise you to start exercising.

The only physical issue I have right now is that it feels like my mouth is watering all the time. I didn't notice this problem until about a week ago which is when I started cutting back on the fake chew. Now, I find myself spitting constantly even when I don't have anything in my mouth. I feel like Pavlov's dog probably would have felt if the bell somehow got stuck in ring mode. I chewed tobacco for so long that I can't honestly remember if my mouth watered like this before I started chewing, or not. And I never noticed my mouth watering like this when I was using tobacco, but I usually had a dip in my mouth if it was possible to have one. So, I'm not sure what is normal and what is not. Of course, this all could just be another psychological trick that the nic bitch is trying to use on me to make me miss her. Who the fuck knows? If the problem persists I will ask my doctor the next time I see him. Until then, I will keep quitting one day at a time. This too shall pass.

I know there wasn't much interesting in this post today. I am sorry if you read it from start to finish. Just a little more therapy for my addict brain. I quit with you today!

Day 72

I have seen some discussions on KTC over the last several weeks where some members have talked about reevaluating their desire/need to quit after a period of time. I haven't read anything where anyone was actively planning to start using tobacco again, but I have seen some discussions where people were leaving the door open to at least consider the possibility of maybe having a cigar or a chew somewhere down the line. Maybe after 100 Days, maybe after a year, or maybe after reaching the comma club. It was just a few discussions here and there and nobody was saying they thought it was a good idea. But, it was enough to get me thinking about the subject.

I will admit this "reevaluation" has crossed my mind numerous times over the last 72 Days. I always shoot it down pretty quickly whenever that little voice brings it up because I have been down that road before more than once. Don't get me wrong, I would love to able to have a cigar again some day. But, I know I can't have that one unless I am willing to go back full bore to being a slave to nicotine. Because that is what has happened to me in the past every time I have decided to have just one.

It starts off slow in the beginning. Just one chew with your buddies while you are out fishing. You don't feel any kind of withdrawal after that one so after awhile you convince yourself you can have another when you want because you obviously don't have a problem. Pretty soon you buy your own can. You are still just having one every once in awhile, but then it becomes just when you mow the lawn. Then you add in just when you are taking a long drive. Next thing you know you are also having a chew after lunch every day. That is how it starts. Then one day you find yourself taking 30 minute shits every day just so you can lock yourself in the bathroom to get your nicotine fix without your wife knowing you caved again. And there you are! Back to a can a day addiction again!

I am writing this down now so that I can read it again in the future. I am happy right now. I do not want to be a slave to nicotine ever again. It is not worth it to ever try to have just one. I cannot allow myself to listen to that little voice. I have proven time and time again that I can't have just one because I am an addict.

I am happy right now....................Today.

And today is all that matters. I know that I will not have a chew today because I made a promise. I will worry about tomorrow when tomorrow becomes today.

What follows is not a direct message to you, but rather, to those who want to believe they are smarter than the system:

When the door is shut, it closes a chapter in your life. Don't go back and try to edit it. There is no open door policy for quitting nicotine. Those who discuss quitting in this manner are not quitters. They have just stopped for a period of time. Leaving yourself the opportunity to go back to the chains of addiction is setting yourself up for failure. They miss the entire, singular point of quitting. It means no more, not for any reason, ever. Quit fantasizing about nicotine. What the fuck is wrong with you? Was the effort and commitment of your quit so meaningless that you would choose to give it all away for a few moments of the past? Would you give up all the work and effort you put into your marriage to go fuck a prostitute because she was right there and it was half off Tuesday? Get a grip on your quit. You are done with nicotine, move on!

[kybo]

Day 69

I think I have emerged from the funk I have been in for the last week. I was a little worried that March Madness would be a huge trigger and would cause me some grief, but I had no issues on Day 1 of the tourney. I took the day off of work yesterday to get some more clearing done on my property since the barn guys are supposed to start next week. Used some Bacc Off while I was running the chainsaw and brush cutter and that seemed to stop me from even thinking about chew for the day. Would have been a great day had the oil filler cap not stripped out on the saw. I had to hold the saw sideways to keep all the oil from leaking out. I didn't have any problems cutting the trees down, but I couldn't do a decent job cutting to manageable links because I had to hold the saw sideways. It ended up cutting my day a little short and I just went inside and watched some basketball. I am going to try to find a replacement cap today while I am on lunch and I will pick up an extra chain as well.

It dawned on me last night that here I am at Day 69 and if this is the best it ever gets I am OK with that. I hear the vets saying all the time that "it gets better." But, I seriously realized last night that I am OK with how it is right now. I am not going to complain if it keeps getting better, but life ain't so bad right now. I still find myself thinking about chew quite a bit, but I can't really call it a craving. It is more like my subconscious is still trying to romanticize tobacco every chance it gets, but it doesn't put near the effort into it any more because it knows I am not going to budge. I honestly think I crave cigars more than I crave chew and I was never a huge cigar smoker. I maybe smoked a few dozen cigars a year before I gave up tobacco. This is a battle that I feel pretty good about winning.

I feel great physically. I started dieting a few days ago and I think I am already starting to feel a difference. I feel like my appetite has already returned to normal and I am eating a ton better. I have continued with my treadmill work and I have now done my first two days of upper body. In addition to that, I am still busting my ass to clear some trees and brush from the back of my property which is a hell of a workout by itself. I know exercise has played a huge roll in making this quit easier for me. If you are still in the early days of trying to quit I strongly advise you to start exercising.

The only physical issue I have right now is that it feels like my mouth is watering all the time. I didn't notice this problem until about a week ago which is when I started cutting back on the fake chew. Now, I find myself spitting constantly even when I don't have anything in my mouth. I feel like Pavlov's dog probably would have felt if the bell somehow got stuck in ring mode. I chewed tobacco for so long that I can't honestly remember if my mouth watered like this before I started chewing, or not. And I never noticed my mouth watering like this when I was using tobacco, but I usually had a dip in my mouth if it was possible to have one. So, I'm not sure what is normal and what is not. Of course, this all could just be another psychological trick that the nic bitch is trying to use on me to make me miss her. Who the fuck knows? If the problem persists I will ask my doctor the next time I see him. Until then, I will keep quitting one day at a time. This too shall pass.

I know there wasn't much interesting in this post today. I am sorry if you read it from start to finish. Just a little more therapy for my addict brain. I quit with you today!

Day 72

I have seen some discussions on KTC over the last several weeks where some members have talked about reevaluating their desire/need to quit after a period of time. I haven't read anything where anyone was actively planning to start using tobacco again, but I have seen some discussions where people were leaving the door open to at least consider the possibility of maybe having a cigar or a chew somewhere down the line. Maybe after 100 Days, maybe after a year, or maybe after reaching the comma club. It was just a few discussions here and there and nobody was saying they thought it was a good idea. But, it was enough to get me thinking about the subject.

I will admit this "reevaluation" has crossed my mind numerous times over the last 72 Days. I always shoot it down pretty quickly whenever that little voice brings it up because I have been down that road before more than once. Don't get me wrong, I would love to able to have a cigar again some day. But, I know I can't have that one unless I am willing to go back full bore to being a slave to nicotine. Because that is what has happened to me in the past every time I have decided to have just one.

It starts off slow in the beginning. Just one chew with your buddies while you are out fishing. You don't feel any kind of withdrawal after that one so after awhile you convince yourself you can have another when you want because you obviously don't have a problem. Pretty soon you buy your own can. You are still just having one every once in awhile, but then it becomes just when you mow the lawn. Then you add in just when you are taking a long drive. Next thing you know you are also having a chew after lunch every day. That is how it starts. Then one day you find yourself taking 30 minute shits every day just so you can lock yourself in the bathroom to get your nicotine fix without your wife knowing you caved again. And there you are! Back to a can a day addiction again!

I am writing this down now so that I can read it again in the future. I am happy right now. I do not want to be a slave to nicotine ever again. It is not worth it to ever try to have just one. I cannot allow myself to listen to that little voice. I have proven time and time again that I can't have just one because I am an addict.

I am happy right now....................Today.

And today is all that matters. I know that I will not have a chew today because I made a promise. I will worry about tomorrow when tomorrow becomes today.

[kybo]

Day 69

I think I have emerged from the funk I have been in for the last week. I was a little worried that March Madness would be a huge trigger and would cause me some grief, but I had no issues on Day 1 of the tourney. I took the day off of work yesterday to get some more clearing done on my property since the barn guys are supposed to start next week. Used some Bacc Off while I was running the chainsaw and brush cutter and that seemed to stop me from even thinking about chew for the day. Would have been a great day had the oil filler cap not stripped out on the saw. I had to hold the saw sideways to keep all the oil from leaking out. I didn't have any problems cutting the trees down, but I couldn't do a decent job cutting to manageable links because I had to hold the saw sideways. It ended up cutting my day a little short and I just went inside and watched some basketball. I am going to try to find a replacement cap today while I am on lunch and I will pick up an extra chain as well.

It dawned on me last night that here I am at Day 69 and if this is the best it ever gets I am OK with that. I hear the vets saying all the time that "it gets better." But, I seriously realized last night that I am OK with how it is right now. I am not going to complain if it keeps getting better, but life ain't so bad right now. I still find myself thinking about chew quite a bit, but I can't really call it a craving. It is more like my subconscious is still trying to romanticize tobacco every chance it gets, but it doesn't put near the effort into it any more because it knows I am not going to budge. I honestly think I crave cigars more than I crave chew and I was never a huge cigar smoker. I maybe smoked a few dozen cigars a year before I gave up tobacco. This is a battle that I feel pretty good about winning.

I feel great physically. I started dieting a few days ago and I think I am already starting to feel a difference. I feel like my appetite has already returned to normal and I am eating a ton better. I have continued with my treadmill work and I have now done my first two days of upper body. In addition to that, I am still busting my ass to clear some trees and brush from the back of my property which is a hell of a workout by itself. I know exercise has played a huge roll in making this quit easier for me. If you are still in the early days of trying to quit I strongly advise you to start exercising.

The only physical issue I have right now is that it feels like my mouth is watering all the time. I didn't notice this problem until about a week ago which is when I started cutting back on the fake chew. Now, I find myself spitting constantly even when I don't have anything in my mouth. I feel like Pavlov's dog probably would have felt if the bell somehow got stuck in ring mode. I chewed tobacco for so long that I can't honestly remember if my mouth watered like this before I started chewing, or not. And I never noticed my mouth watering like this when I was using tobacco, but I usually had a dip in my mouth if it was possible to have one. So, I'm not sure what is normal and what is not. Of course, this all could just be another psychological trick that the nic bitch is trying to use on me to make me miss her. Who the fuck knows? If the problem persists I will ask my doctor the next time I see him. Until then, I will keep quitting one day at a time. This too shall pass.

I know there wasn't much interesting in this post today. I am sorry if you read it from start to finish. Just a little more therapy for my addict brain. I quit with you today!

[Rawls]

Great intro......
Much wisdom you have.
Keep sharing... It's good for you and us.
Regarding habit and addiction.... Both are real.
In simplest terms, the primary difference between a habit and an addiction....
Is that a person is ultimately in control of a habit.
While an addiction is in control of the person.
For me.... I could stop habits!
I need truth and accountability from others to quit this addiction. ODAAT!
I quit with you today.
Congrats on day 66
Rawls 1212

[kybo]

Day 65

Wow, we have lost a few people from our April group in the last week, or so. I am guessing they caved and just decided to not come back. That is a shame. But, I firmly believe you either want to quit or you donÂ’t want to quit. And if you want to quit there is nothing in this world that will prevent you from accomplishing your goal of living a tobacco free life. Nothing at all. Conversely, if you donÂ’t truly want to quit you are just living your life looking for a reason to cave. And eventually you will find that reason if you are constantly looking for it, whether it is real or perceived.

It ainÂ’t easy, but nobody said it would be.

For the last 4 or 5 days my addict brain just keeps asking me if I really want to be quit. And every time I answer, “Fuck Yeah!” I have read stuff from many of the vets that have warned us new quitters about “ late term craves, the doldrums, the blahs, and the blues.“ The What to Expect Page says we should probably experience this around days 70-90. I think I hit this stage around Day 60. People call it the “Funk.” I honestly haven’t been even remotely tempted to cave yet, but I will admit that I have thought more about chew the last 4 or 5 days than I did in the entire previous month combined. I am not sure why I have been thinking about it so much, but I will say that I haven’t touched the fake stuff in 3 days. Perhaps that might be a contributing factor. All I know is that the reasons I decided to quit are still fresh in my head. I keep those reasons front and center by visiting KTC every day and making my pledge every morning. And I haven’t caved. So, I must be doing something right.

I have also read a lot of the vets correcting new quitters when they use the word “habit” when talking about chew. The vets correctly inform the new quitters that chew is an addiction. I agree with what the vets are saying about chew being an addiction, but I also agree with the people that call it a habit. I think chew is both an addiction and a habit. And the fact that it is a habit AND an addiction is what makes it so damn difficult to quit. Let’s be honest, if we were just addicted to nicotine patches I don’t think that would be as hard to quit as chewing. I don’t think you would see a bunch of nicotine patch addicts walking around with fake patches stuck to their bodies in an attempt to quit the patch. But, you clearly see a lot of recovering chewing tobacco addicts utilizing fake chew to help their attempts to “kick the habit.” You also see a lot of smokers utilizing candy suckers in an effort to “kick their habit.” So yes, I think there is an aspect to chewing tobacco that is a habit that is reinforced by an addiction, or vice versa. You get the idea. That is just my opinion and I am totally OK with you disagreeing with me.

That “habit” part of the addiction has been a tough one for me. The fake chew has helped tremendously, but I don’t like the fact that even the fake stuff tears up my mouth and inner cheeks. If I am giving up tobacco I want my mouth to feel good again. It is hard to explain, but I seriously think I miss having that lump of shit in my lip and spitting in a can every 60 seconds. Without that shit in my lip I catch myself clenching my teeth all the time or constantly running my tongue over my cheeks and gums. The end result being that my jaw hurts and I feel like I am rubbing raw spots on my gums from the constant irritation from my tongue. I am really trying to make the switch from fake chew to chewing gum but apparently I don’t know how to chew gum correctly because I keep accidentally biting the inside of my cheeks. And I am biting hard enough to actually draw blood. I have done this 3 times in the last month or so. WTF is up with that?

And now I would like to go back and address those people that were once members of our April group that have disappeared from KTC. The message that I have for you is that I am not mad at you. I sincerely hope you are still quit and you just decided to leave the site for some reason unknown to the rest of us. It would have been nice if you would have had the decency to tell at least one of us why you were leaving. If you caved, you caved. I am not going to sit here and tell you how to live your life. You either want to quit or you donÂ’t. I personally donÂ’t give a flying shit how many times you cave as long as you own your failure and genuinely commit yourself to keep trying to quit. If you do that I will support you every time you try to quit. Because at the end of the day, that is what we are all trying to accomplish. We are all human. We all have weaknesses and we all make mistakes. Your failure is not going to cause me to fail. The only thing that is going to cause me to fail is my own weakness or my own mistake. The important thing is that we all get up each day and keep trying to quit. I genuinely want to quit. But, I understand that not everybody else really wants to quit.

If you donÂ’t genuinely want to quit, then I think you made the right decision to leave KTC. Enjoy your life, just do it somewhere else. And thank you for not wasting any more of my time by pretending you want to quit when you really don't.

Have a great fucking day, everybody! IQWYT!

[Athan]

...I call KTC my tool shed. Whenever I know I am going to be facing some triggers or a tougher than normal task, I come to KTC and do a little reading to refresh my fortitude. Very similar to visiting an actual tool shed to get the tools I need for a specific job. I take what I need and leave the rest...

Kybo, that's one of the best analogies I've seen so far. Really sums it up nicely.

[kybo]

Kybo - you are doing awesome. I enjoy your story. My intro is Day 9. Im at the 55 day mark today and this week has been tougher than Ive seen since weeks 1 - 3. Keep fighting the good fight, we will win together. Lax

Thanks, brother.

I really want to be done with tobacco this time. For me. I think that is why I am not struggling as much as I have in the past. And I will give high praise to Smoky Mountain. I went the first 10 days without any substitute (except for when I tried coffee grounds on day 4) and I honestly don't think I would have made it to 20 days without SM. I am down to maybe one chew of SM a day now and I have even gone a couple days in a row without it. But, from day 10 to about day 45 would have been brutal if I hadn't had the SM.

And of course KTC has been a huge help for me. I call KTC my tool shed. Whenever I know I am going to be facing some triggers or a tougher than normal task, I come to KTC and do a little reading to refresh my fortitude. Very similar to visiting an actual tool shed to get the tools I need for a specific job. I take what I need and leave the rest.

And for the record, I do not recommend putting straight coffee grounds into your lip. I was so desperate on day 4 that I cut open a Timmy Horton K-cup and shoved it all in my lip. Wow! I thought my heart was going to explode!

[laxdaddy27]

Kybo - you are doing awesome. I enjoy your story. My intro is Day 9. Im at the 55 day mark today and this week has been tougher than Ive seen since weeks 1 - 3. Keep fighting the good fight, we will win together. Lax

[kybo]

Day 62!

Still feel great. It could completely be my imagination, but I swear my eyesight has improved since I gave up tobacco. And the air seems so much crisper when I take a deep breath now. Both of these things could be the result of the 15 to 20 miles a week I have been doing on the treadmill since I gave up the nasty shit. Or it could be due to the fact that I am no longer poisoning my body every day with that shit.

I have been reading some posts by other people that are talking about having some issues with depression. I can't really say that I have had problems that I would classify as depression, but I have had a few emotional roller coaster rides over the last couple of months. Mood swings, or whatever you want to call them. I am totally over the rage and subsequent outbursts at this point. But, yesterday my assistant came into my office and asked me if everything was ok. She said she has noticed that I have been keeping to myself and I have been a little more quiet than normal for the last couple of weeks. It actually made me laugh out loud because about 6 weeks ago she came into my office and asked me the exact same question because she thought that I was being "meaner than normal" to some of the employees. Nobody at the office knows anything about me ever using tobacco or the fact that I have now stopped using it. I don't think I will ever tell them.

Still no sign of Preston. He hasn't even logged into the site since the 4th. I never had him pegged as a caver.

[Thumblewort]

I skipped a funeral I should have went to last weekend. Funeral's suck, don't beat yourself up for it. At least we quit that day!

[kybo]

Day 61.

I feel great! Maybe a little fatter than I was a few months ago, but I feel fucking great!!

I have a few minutes this morning and was going to post something about myself again, but when I came into the Introductions page I noticed there were 83 Guests viewing our Intro pages. I was the only actual member logged in to the Intro section at the time. 83 guests were in here just looking around. So, I thought this morning I would write a short message just for you guys/gals that are in here looking around.

You guests are obviously here for a reason. What is that reason? Obviously you are at least thinking about quitting or you wouldn't be here. My advice is to go ahead and create a username and join the conversation for a couple days. It is completely free and you can choose to remain anonymous. You only have to tell people what you want to tell them. And, there are a lot more sections filled with great advice and great people that you can see and interact with once you become a member. Did I already mention it is completely free? Come on in, the water is nice and warm. I promise we don't bite and most of us don't even pee in the pool anymore. Every one of us was once in your shoes. We know what you are going through right now.

When I first stopped using tobacco it felt like my eyes were going to pop out of my head for the first four days. And my jaw hurt which kind of freaked me out a little bit. I also had a headache that came and went for a couple of weeks. I didn't sleep much in the beginning either. I would have been totally freaked out if I hadn't joined KTC and talked to people that had been thru the same things I was going thru. They assured me it was normal and that it would get better. And they were right.

What are you waiting for? All the cool kids are doing it. Come quit with us and see how good it makes you feel.

[kybo]

Still Day 60.

Doofus just posted that he was able to lose 50 pounds in 3 months on the Keto diet with exercise. I am going to look into this Keto diet a little more. The only thing that looks like it would be a major problem for me would be giving up beer. But, it would be worth it if I could lose 25 pounds in 3 months. I had a salad and a glass of water for lunch today. I think I will read up on Keto after I get off the treadmill this evening.

Still no sign of Preston today. He will be MIQ after today. Bummer. But, I did stumble onto a new quitter today in General Discussion and help him find his way to the June 18' Pre HOF page. So, it looks like we lost one and gained another in the battle against big tobacco.

[kybo]

Day 60.

I just read about the Taylor Swift cave. Thanks to Harvestgirl for posting that in June '18. I don't know what is worse, caving or admitting that you are a grown man that listens to Taylor Swift.

I was up all night again last night. I doubt it was dip quit related, but it felt almost exactly like those nights I had the first week I quit. Just laying in bed wide awake and staring at the ceiling. 6 months ago I would have said, "fuck it," thrown in a chew and gone outside to sit on the porch. Last night I stayed in bed and thought about what is next for me.

My original plan was to wait until 100 days before I made an effort to eat better. I figured quitting the nic was the most important thing and I would worry about the weight gain later. After last night I have changed my plans. I have been hitting the treadmill religiously since I gave up tobacco, but I have still gained quite a bit of weight thanks to my inability to stop eating everything I can find. I haven't weighed myself, but the struggle is real every morning when I try to button my pants. So, last night I made a promise to myself that today I will start a diet and continue on the treadmill. I am also going to ease back into some weight training as time allows. We will see how it goes. I have decided that I am not going to weigh myself again until my work physical in June. I don't even want to know how much weight I have gained. It doesn't matter anyway.

I am very saddened that Preston has disappeared from KTC. The last time he logged onto the site was the evening of March 4th. Today is March 7th. He was a 100% poster up until he just disappeared. I hope he is OK.

I swear to God I am talking to myself a lot more now that I have stopped using tobacco than I did when I was still using. It is so fucking weird. I feel like I have to have an internal conversation with myself about every single thing that I do now. WTF is that all about?

[Rtp1990]

Day 59.

Things aren't always what they seem. I am going to leave this statement alone for a few days. I may revisit it in the future if it turns out I am right.

By my rough estimates I think I have saved about $224 so far since I quit ($3.80/can). That number is probably closer to $200 because I have purchased about a dozen cans of fake chew. I have been putting the money I save in a stein in the man cave. My plan is to spend it on something frivolous once I get to 100 days (or donate it to charity if I cave). So far, I am leaning toward a drone or some kind of night vision device. I know that sounds like a stupid waste of money, but is it honestly any more ridiculous than spending the money on shit that is going to give me mouth cancer? I think not.

I might end up spending the money I saved on a rear tine tiller. My wife has decided that she wants a garden this year. I might as well make it a little bit easier on myself. We will see where I am leaning once (if) I make it to 100 days. One day at a time.

ItÂ’s amazing how fast the money adds up! I know that in the 8 days IÂ’ve quit IÂ’ve saved closed to 100 bucks. Each can was about $8 a can after tax, and I usually bought a couple sodas. I averaged each store stop to be about 12 to 15 bucks when it was all said and done. IÂ’m planning to spend my money saved on some new hunting gear for my wife and I. I say you spend it on what you want. ThereÂ’s no reason to not spend that money on something that will bring you happiness since before it was spent on something that was killing you. Props on getting to day 59! ItÂ’s an achievement that IÂ’m aiming for right now!

RTP - keep chopping wood and you will be successful in your quit.

I don't really see 59 days as being a success because I once gave up tobacco for over 2 years and fell back down the rabbit hole. I let complacency get me that time and I chewed for 10 more years as a result. We have to stay vigilant. Every day is a new battle that we have to fight one at a time. That is why I come to KTC every day. I come in and I read what the new guys/gals are going thru. Every so often I check out the Eternal Quitters page to pay my silent respects. I try to spend some time in the Wildcard section every day letting off some steam. That is what keeps my reasons for quitting fresh in my mind. I come in and take what I need and try to give back what I am capable of giving. I made my pledge this morning and I intend to keep it. Lord willing, I will wake up tomorrow morning and do it all over again. ODAAT!

59 days is success in any manner of the aspect based on what IÂ’ve seen from the people posting in the groups. You could still be slamming the shit in your lip living with the guilt of hiding it from your family and friends with the burning desire to quit but not having the guts to do so. YouÂ’re here now and 59 days in. YouÂ’re 59 days ahead of people still dipping and youÂ’ll always hold that lead as long as you donÂ’t cave.

I canÂ’t speak on much, IÂ’m 8 days into my 5th quit. My longest was just shy of 9 months and I decided that 1 dip wouldnÂ’t hurt me. 3 1/2 years later I found this site and quit. I could be in the comma club by now if I had kept up. But the fact is that we made mistakes and were on the right path to get where we want to go.

Keep up the quit! And buy yourself that drone. You can do it!